WEBVTT - Bonus: Melbourne's Wildest Group Chats

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<v Speaker 1>Jason Lauren on over one hundred.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got some amazing neighbors. I got Andrew, the footy nuffy,

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<v Speaker 2>who will not be in a good mood today.

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<v Speaker 3>Why massive massive defense does the event?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, oh god, oh you can't win them all.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm actually I'm in a bedding syndicate with him, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was supposed to put the bed on last night,

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<v Speaker 2>but you didn't.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't. Well, that's good.

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<v Speaker 2>Here the mate, I got the Croatians across the road.

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<v Speaker 2>That's that's the long term game to get into the.

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<v Speaker 1>Will Okay, stop saying that.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I've got Sharon next door, the swinger. No,

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<v Speaker 2>that's unconfirmed, swing Sharon.

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<v Speaker 1>We just we just caught swing chap so sorry, she's

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<v Speaker 1>not a swinger. We just call her swinging Sharon. Yeah, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>my apologist Sharon. Unconfirmed, she suspected swinger.

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<v Speaker 2>She popped over the other day with a veno. I

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<v Speaker 2>was on the driveway playing basketball with the kids.

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<v Speaker 1>Was your wife home? No, Sharon pops over a lot

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<v Speaker 1>when lo's not home with the bottle of wine. It

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<v Speaker 1>was in the front I love shower. It was in

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<v Speaker 1>the Sharon marry Yes, Sharon's husband home.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, I don't know. I don't think so.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, it's a few holes in this story already.

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<v Speaker 1>I love Sharon's so much. Sharon is she should She

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<v Speaker 1>should be her neighbors. She would be pacing up and

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<v Speaker 1>down Ramsey Street with looking for friends.

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<v Speaker 2>So she's popped over. I'm on the front driveway. Kids

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<v Speaker 2>are playing basketball. She came in for a little afternoon veno.

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<v Speaker 1>Did she bring her own plastic cups?

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<v Speaker 3>She had a.

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<v Speaker 2>Glass and was like, Hey, you want one, I'll go

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<v Speaker 2>back to the house and get you.

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<v Speaker 1>I love her. What day? What day? Yeah? I love this?

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<v Speaker 1>What day?

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<v Speaker 3>What day?

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<v Speaker 1>Was it a week day or weekend?

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<v Speaker 3>It was Sunday, Sunday sometime.

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<v Speaker 1>Knock yourself out? Sharon probably a second bottle.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's when she informed me, would I like to

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<v Speaker 2>join her? And her girlfriend?

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<v Speaker 3>Gets better? Yet next weekend?

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<v Speaker 2>This coming weekend, they're going to get together for some

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<v Speaker 2>venos and then get out the chainsaw and trim their bushes.

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<v Speaker 1>She's looking for a token man.

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<v Speaker 3>So hang on. Yeah, So she said, I.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't think Sharon should have venos and operated change.

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<v Speaker 2>Which is exactly what I said, Lauren. I'm like, I

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<v Speaker 2>actually think it should be the other way around. She goes, well,

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<v Speaker 2>my friend wants to start this little group. But we

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<v Speaker 2>all get together on a weekend and then we share

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<v Speaker 2>power tools and clean up the yards.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, oh, it's a terrible idea.

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<v Speaker 3>That's what I said.

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<v Speaker 1>Why don't you do the yards and then have the

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<v Speaker 1>venas exactly this is going to end in the current affairs,

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you very much. Sharon thought it would be a

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<v Speaker 1>good idea to exchange power tools and shard news.

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<v Speaker 3>He's Sharon now with no limbs like you. No, that's

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<v Speaker 3>not going to end exactly, Sharon.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean the blower would be fine. You could use

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<v Speaker 1>the blower after a few chardis, did she ask you

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<v Speaker 1>to have a turn on the blower?

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<v Speaker 2>She didn't ask me to blow So she does venos

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<v Speaker 2>and chainsaws. That's her new group. We were once part

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<v Speaker 2>of it.

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<v Speaker 1>That sounds like psychopath.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh God, you really turned on her quickly.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, the group chat venos and chains Yes.

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<v Speaker 2>The other is when we were living in Brisbane, we

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<v Speaker 2>used to have these two boys live around the corner

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<v Speaker 2>row and Dave love them that the god parents are

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<v Speaker 2>one of our kids, beautiful couple. On Wednesdays we used

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<v Speaker 2>to have wine watch, so we would go out, this

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<v Speaker 2>is pre kids. We would go out for dinner on

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<v Speaker 2>a Wednesday night and have a few venos and in

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<v Speaker 2>rather neighborhood watch. We call it wine watch, and that

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<v Speaker 2>was our dinner to share all the goths on the

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<v Speaker 2>other neighbors.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I love that, each of us have got said

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<v Speaker 1>a neighborhood watch.

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<v Speaker 3>Exactly, love that wine watch. It'd be like, do you

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<v Speaker 3>know what Debbie's doing? A number two? That's very good.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we've got the tarts in my street, right, and

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<v Speaker 1>oh we talk about everything in the street, in the neighborhood.

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<v Speaker 1>We know what's going on, right, we look out for

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<v Speaker 1>one another.

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<v Speaker 4>You're part of any groups Parma Nation, Parma Nation, Yeah, Parmenation.

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<v Speaker 4>Parmonation's basically if you sample good Parma, you upload the photo,

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<v Speaker 4>you give the instructions to your eyes and it's.

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<v Speaker 3>Basically a database. We keep a database. The best partments,

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<v Speaker 3>can you put me in the group? Chat a few?

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, this is well, this is like the tarts

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<v Speaker 1>in our area. Well, they're not just in our area,

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<v Speaker 1>they're just on our street. And we've got a girlfriend

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<v Speaker 1>who's moved into street span. She's like, can we be

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<v Speaker 1>in the group chat, and we're all aren't. No, you're

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<v Speaker 1>to live in.

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<v Speaker 3>The street right thirteen It's.

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<v Speaker 1>Not a wider neighborhood chat, it's a street chat.

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<v Speaker 3>Thirteen twenty four ten. You're right.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't just have anyone coming around drinking a veno

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<v Speaker 2>and operating power saws.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely not.

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<v Speaker 3>Thirteen twenty four ten. What group are you a part of?

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<v Speaker 2>Are We've got parmer Nation, we've got wine Watch, we've

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<v Speaker 2>got venos and chainsaws, and we've got the tarts.

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<v Speaker 1>And what are the politics around getting into the ground?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because there are politics.

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<v Speaker 3>Is there still the State Night Club here? Bradie?

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<v Speaker 1>It sounds like you've been kicked out.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, no, I was never invited.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm actually in the Steak Light group. Really only came once,

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<v Speaker 6>so he's not a fully fledged member of Steak Lights.

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<v Speaker 3>How often is the State Night Group happening?

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<v Speaker 6>We were gone once a fortnight, but people working different

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<v Speaker 6>jobs and different shifts. Now it's kind of a pause

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<v Speaker 6>has been put on Steak Night. So we're actually going

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<v Speaker 6>to flip it up and go for a Sunday roast soon.

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<v Speaker 3>What do you say? He said, Sunday roast sign on

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<v Speaker 3>the Steak now.

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<v Speaker 2>Accent thirteen twenty fourteen is our number. What group are

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<v Speaker 2>you a part of?

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<v Speaker 3>Give us a ring.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's go to Sarah in High. Good morning. What group

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<v Speaker 1>are you a part of?

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<v Speaker 7>I'm part of a Stitch and Bitch.

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<v Speaker 1>Stitch and Bitch. What happens at Stitch and Beach Oliveney High?

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<v Speaker 3>Can I be a member of Stitch and Bitch?

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<v Speaker 7>Absolutely? We always take new members. Okay, So it's actually

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<v Speaker 7>my ex's mum and all of her girlfriends. We get together,

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<v Speaker 7>we have a few wines, we crochet and we talk

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<v Speaker 7>shit about everything.

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<v Speaker 1>Has it got a WhatsApp?

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<v Speaker 8>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>And it's called Stitch and Bitch.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, okay, what do you want? What do you crochet?

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<v Speaker 7>We've done like spiderwebs. I usually do like pets, but

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<v Speaker 7>the ladies are a little bit more reserved.

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<v Speaker 1>You do they like bag? Yeah? You're crocheting pulpair pants? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Are you any good? Or are you really there? Just

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<v Speaker 3>there for the bitching?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh?

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<v Speaker 8>I'm a little bit of it.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Pants? That will take quite some time.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, there's a lot of gods they need to share line.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's go to Thomas in Point Cook, Good morning.

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<v Speaker 7>What group are doing well?

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<v Speaker 5>So I am you know a group chat with all

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<v Speaker 5>my friends that's been going on for about ten years now.

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<v Speaker 5>Think it's about ten people in it. But over the

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<v Speaker 5>years people get more getting annoyed when we're talking about

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<v Speaker 5>certain chats, certain topics. Right, So over time we've created

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<v Speaker 5>I think it's over one hundred and fifteen individuals.

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<v Speaker 1>So much, so much. I've got friends that do this too,

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<v Speaker 1>and they're like, oh, we've got like this wider group,

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<v Speaker 1>like firing crew of friends.

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<v Speaker 5>And then most pubpects and we most likely have.

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<v Speaker 1>Not too many, too many topics.

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<v Speaker 3>We got like plenty groups.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like breakaway groups. So we've got this crew. We're

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<v Speaker 1>all pretty close mates in Byron and when we lived

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<v Speaker 1>up there. But instead of just being in that group chat,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh it's someone's birthday, we're doing this. They'd be like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>start a new one because some people can't come. I'm like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>just don't engage in the chat about the birthday if

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<v Speaker 1>you can't. Sorry, the kids basketball, We're not starting a

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<v Speaker 1>new group.

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<v Speaker 3>Here's the basketball group and it's the coach's chat. And

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<v Speaker 3>how many of you got on mute? I've got a

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<v Speaker 3>few I left to lose. Family chat. Did you didn't

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<v Speaker 3>how didn't know it comes up? Jason Hawk has left

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<v Speaker 3>the family got apparently that blow.

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<v Speaker 2>Upteen twenty four ten is our number to join us

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<v Speaker 2>on the airwork group.

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<v Speaker 3>Are you're part of.

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<v Speaker 1>Naya from Pakingham? Good morning? You belong to a group

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<v Speaker 1>with benefits?

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<v Speaker 3>Hello?

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<v Speaker 8>Hello, Yeah, so belongs to a beauty like maintenance group.

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<v Speaker 8>So one person does hair, one person does nails, one

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<v Speaker 8>person like this sension and like waxing in the sage,

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<v Speaker 8>and we kind of just like use a Barty system

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<v Speaker 8>and be like, if I want to go get my

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<v Speaker 8>nails that, then I'll do with her hair.

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<v Speaker 1>That's why you do it for each other for free.

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<v Speaker 3>Just book each other in. That is a great idea.

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<v Speaker 1>Chat. I love that.

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<v Speaker 3>That's really good.

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<v Speaker 4>Lauren needs a makeup done for the Mother's Day lunch

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<v Speaker 4>we've got today.

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<v Speaker 1>You got to make up?

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<v Speaker 8>No, we doren't. That's what we're missing. But we're all

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<v Speaker 8>pretty good on our own so it's fine.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we need to Sorry, what's wrong with me doing

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<v Speaker 1>my own face?

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<v Speaker 3>You said yesterday I need to get my makeup done?

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<v Speaker 1>No I didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>Someone in there have a MOA for grooming you.

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<v Speaker 1>No, No, you can't say, oh my husband needs some greaming.

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<v Speaker 3>Holly in Carrara Downs, what's a go? What group are

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<v Speaker 3>you part of?

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<v Speaker 2>Dim Sims for Life?

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry dimmim.

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<v Speaker 7>Ye Holly, talk to us.

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<v Speaker 1>Where is the best dim sim in Melbourne?

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<v Speaker 7>Oh there's so many ones, but the biggest one that

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<v Speaker 7>everyone is going on about is the South Melbourne.

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<v Speaker 3>Ye.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you can't pas South Melbourne.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm got to made the mine who started a

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<v Speaker 2>full online campaign. It's taken off now in New Zealand. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and he basically now for a living reviews fish and chip.

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<v Speaker 1>Shops good, so he gets paid to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>So post the photo of So you go in and

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<v Speaker 2>he just gets the same order at each one. You

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<v Speaker 2>got standard fish and chips. So then that way he'll

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<v Speaker 2>do like the chip ratio to the fish, the.

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<v Speaker 3>Quality of potato cakes. No, no, no, same order every

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<v Speaker 3>chip fish.

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<v Speaker 1>You got to eat chips. You got to put a

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<v Speaker 1>potato cake in there. That's at every fish and chip shop.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to throw that in and tell him maybe

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<v Speaker 1>a crabstick to absolutely not.

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<v Speaker 3>I told you over there. Remember it's weird. It's a

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<v Speaker 3>weird little contry.

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<v Speaker 1>They crumb the fish end. No, No, it's also a

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<v Speaker 1>weird country.

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<v Speaker 3>It's combined.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a fish and chip shop and a Chinese takeaway.

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<v Speaker 3>And talk to me about the curry sauce OUs on that.

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<v Speaker 2>So you can, like I could ring up and go.

0:09:47.040 --> 0:09:49.160
<v Speaker 2>Can I get two pieces of battered flake and a

0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:49.839
<v Speaker 2>lemon chicken?

0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:53.679
<v Speaker 1>Every fish and chip shop has? Why?

0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:56.160
<v Speaker 3>I don't know. That's quite a cut down on rent.

0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:58.160
<v Speaker 1>Is it the Chinese community that have taken over the

0:09:58.200 --> 0:09:58.880
<v Speaker 1>fish and chip shop?

0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:02.480
<v Speaker 2>Maybe the these community running all the two birds one stone?

0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:03.280
<v Speaker 1>I'd love that when you can't.

0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:05.280
<v Speaker 3>Oh, isn't it? It's very odd?

0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:07.080
<v Speaker 1>Fish and chip, potato cake and a lemon.

0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:08.559
<v Speaker 2>I don't think I want all that mixing in the

0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:11.800
<v Speaker 2>same deep Isabella thirteen, twenty four ten.

0:10:11.840 --> 0:10:14.319
<v Speaker 3>What group you're part of, morning guys.

0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:17.600
<v Speaker 9>I'm in a group called cookie Cutter Identification.

0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:20.720
<v Speaker 1>Okay, oh my gosh, I've seen this on Facebook?

0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:21.480
<v Speaker 3>What is it?

0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:25.280
<v Speaker 9>Yeah? So basically what these cookie cutters? People post the

0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.600
<v Speaker 9>picture of the cookie cutter and then people reply They've

0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:31.440
<v Speaker 9>drawn in pictures of what they think it might be,

0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:32.240
<v Speaker 9>or even just.

0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:37.240
<v Speaker 1>Cookies. So you see a photo of like, you know,

0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:39.560
<v Speaker 1>like a cookie cutter. It's just like the outline of something.

0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:40.880
<v Speaker 1>But people have them and they're.

0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:42.800
<v Speaker 3>Like, what is this you're talking about? Like little metal things?

0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:45.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Like that. So then they're like, what is this

0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:47.920
<v Speaker 1>supposed to be? Like I can't work out what shape

0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:49.760
<v Speaker 1>this is supposed to be. And that's a group and

0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:52.599
<v Speaker 1>then you decorate it accordingly. People are like, Oh, you

0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:53.959
<v Speaker 1>could make it into this, or you can make it

0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:54.240
<v Speaker 1>into that.

0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:57.360
<v Speaker 3>I don't know why that's in the group now.

0:10:57.440 --> 0:10:59.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm actually I was sort of leaning more towards what'sapp

0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.040
<v Speaker 1>it On Facebook, I'm on some weird ones. There's one

0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:06.800
<v Speaker 1>called in school, like free Photoshop, and people upload a

0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:10.680
<v Speaker 1>photo of them like they might be at Disneyland or whatever,

0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.080
<v Speaker 1>and they're like, hey, guys, could you cut everyone else

0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:15.559
<v Speaker 1>out of the background? Or like this girl put one

0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:17.440
<v Speaker 1>up the other day saying I need a professional headshot.

0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:18.760
<v Speaker 1>I love this photo of me and at tearing a

0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:21.319
<v Speaker 1>bar with a martini and she's like, could could someone

0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:24.040
<v Speaker 1>make this more professional and remove the martini.

0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:26.160
<v Speaker 3>And trust you to be in a photoshop?

0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:30.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh? It's so people, It's so funny. People go like editing,

0:11:30.120 --> 0:11:31.679
<v Speaker 1>so some of them look amazing and some of them

0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:32.360
<v Speaker 1>just take the piss.

0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:34.480
<v Speaker 3>Are you in kmart air fry?

0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:35.040
<v Speaker 6>Oh?

0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:39.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, baby, Oh well, you're not living. You are not living.

0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:43.680
<v Speaker 1>I told you I'm not into the airstra in Oh yeah,

0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:46.960
<v Speaker 1>it's in a snake group and he's obsessed with it.

0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:50.520
<v Speaker 1>People identify snake and he once made a snake in

0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:52.080
<v Speaker 1>pantgag and then the got kicked out.

0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:53.640
<v Speaker 3>People who identify snakes.

0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:55.400
<v Speaker 1>No no, no, no no. They to put up photos and

0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:57.480
<v Speaker 1>people have to identify the snake, like I found this

0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:00.360
<v Speaker 1>in my backyard or I found this here. People who

0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:01.079
<v Speaker 1>idea you don't.

0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:02.360
<v Speaker 4>You know what, guys, we all need to get out

0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:03.800
<v Speaker 4>more identify as a cobra.

0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:11.840
<v Speaker 1>Jason Lauren Jason Lauren wake Up Feeling Good a number

0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:16.920
<v Speaker 1>one hundred Jason Lauren Bollygood on socials