1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,000
Speaker 1: I'm I Boris and this is straight talk. You're getting

2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,640
Speaker 1: all this on? Yeah, we are. Millly Ford welcome straight talk.

3
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,160
Speaker 2: Thank you for having me, Mily Forward.

4
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,600
Speaker 1: The Singerly Forward, the actress about massive success in your TikTok?

5
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,400
Speaker 1: Do you think people relate to you because we are

6
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:16,599
Speaker 1: seek to death or perfection?

7
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,279
Speaker 2: One hundred and fifty percent. It's like, I am so

8
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,560
Speaker 2: chaotic and scatter brained, but it also gives me the

9
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:28,560
Speaker 2: ability to find humor in chaos and be relatable for people.

10
00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:32,120
Speaker 2: I'm not living a perfect life and we need people

11
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,720
Speaker 2: to show the realities of life. Just be yourself.

12
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:37,360
Speaker 1: Can we talk about it?

13
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've only talked about to my family friends. It

14
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,559
Speaker 2: could be first So oh my gosh. We're getting very

15
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,720
Speaker 2: deep and it's like ten minutes in, like.

16
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,080
Speaker 1: We just to start. Lily Ford, welcome straight talk.

17
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,360
Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.

18
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,000
Speaker 1: You look great, Thank you. Can I just comment on

19
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:53,320
Speaker 1: your shoes?

20
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:53,559
Speaker 2: Yeah?

21
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, And we just talk for about five minutes. We

22
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,200
Speaker 1: might have got it on film, but we just talked

23
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,720
Speaker 1: about I've got to talk issues more imporn. I want

24
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:00,480
Speaker 1: to talk your socks.

25
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,040
Speaker 2: Okay, good because that was the one comment I made

26
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,000
Speaker 2: to myself coming in here.

27
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,480
Speaker 1: Here it is, I said.

28
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,560
Speaker 2: I also didn't tell my legs. I didn't think my

29
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,199
Speaker 2: feet were going to be shown on here.

30
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,800
Speaker 1: It's okay, but they're they're great, just like Chanel. That's

31
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:16,640
Speaker 1: the Chanelle.

32
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:18,480
Speaker 2: Signs Chanel, and they're pearls.

33
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,520
Speaker 1: They look awesome, they look nice and relaxing, comfortable, but

34
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,240
Speaker 1: they do stand out. I had to say something about it, right,

35
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:29,720
Speaker 1: So Millie tell me. I want to go backwards, but

36
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,000
Speaker 1: my stuff and where we are today? Right? What are

37
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,360
Speaker 1: you doing right now? So what's your main game day day?

38
00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,080
Speaker 1: I heard you when you're coming and you said, look

39
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:42,160
Speaker 1: one man man, because you because we expect you walking

40
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:46,000
Speaker 1: with a big entourage and make up specialists, hairstylists, blah blah.

41
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,120
Speaker 1: So you're one man man. What are you doing? What's

42
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:48,800
Speaker 1: your deal for me?

43
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,440
Speaker 2: I think people in my life would argue that it's

44
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:55,240
Speaker 2: time that I did actually expand my team of one.

45
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,960
Speaker 2: And I'm not going to lie. This is all you

46
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,520
Speaker 2: need to know about me. I put out a PA

47
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,240
Speaker 2: call out on my story Instagram story like in August

48
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:10,079
Speaker 2: last year, and I still haven't selected my PA, so

49
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:10,679
Speaker 2: I had to do it.

50
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:11,639
Speaker 1: Did you get any response?

51
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,280
Speaker 2: I got hundreds and I looked at that and I thought,

52
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,520
Speaker 2: I can't do that. So I put it to the side,

53
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,079
Speaker 2: and I was like, by the time it came around

54
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,560
Speaker 2: to this year, I was like, most of those people

55
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:22,239
Speaker 2: would have jobs. So I did it again, and so

56
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,239
Speaker 2: I did another call out three weeks ago, and I've

57
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,160
Speaker 2: managed to go through them, but I haven't actually contacted

58
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:33,040
Speaker 2: them because for some reason, I've like resisted bringing someone

59
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,840
Speaker 2: on even though I know it's the best. It's okay,

60
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,079
Speaker 2: I know what it is. I've worked backwards as to why.

61
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:43,919
Speaker 2: It's because so I work from home, I'm so nervous

62
00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:47,120
Speaker 2: about having someone in and amongst my private space and

63
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:51,720
Speaker 2: losing like freedom almost and so I'm like hanging on

64
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,320
Speaker 2: to dear life to this last bit of freedom because

65
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,240
Speaker 2: they come and work at my place. It's very hands

66
00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:01,040
Speaker 2: on job, and so I'm like, I know I'm procrastinating it,

67
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,880
Speaker 2: and it just scares me to think that, like I'll

68
00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,400
Speaker 2: have a stranger in my house. That's the main thing,

69
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,400
Speaker 2: which is such a weird reason. But I love my

70
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,799
Speaker 2: privacy and I think I'm just kind of like in

71
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,160
Speaker 2: my head about it. But I'm at a point where

72
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:19,040
Speaker 2: I'm so aware that I need to like put in

73
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:23,639
Speaker 2: like you know, spend money to make more money, like

74
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,079
Speaker 2: pay someone to come and help build my life out

75
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,799
Speaker 2: more because like I can't do it all alone. That's

76
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:28,359
Speaker 2: what I'm learning.

77
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,799
Speaker 1: It's sort of the admin role.

78
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,880
Speaker 2: It's an admin role, which is what I need the most.

79
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,240
Speaker 2: Another thing that I'm learning is like, you know, you

80
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,840
Speaker 2: don't have to be good at everything, which that's not

81
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,640
Speaker 2: my forte. I literally cannot do admin work to save

82
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:47,200
Speaker 2: my life, Like I am horrible, and I always This

83
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:51,160
Speaker 2: is something I always tricked myself into, is like I

84
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,240
Speaker 2: put a list together of things that I wanted them

85
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:54,400
Speaker 2: to do for me, and I was like, I could

86
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,600
Speaker 2: do that. I could do that. Oh really, you could

87
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,960
Speaker 2: just do that. Just okay, scribble that up. You could

88
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,440
Speaker 2: just do that, scribble out. And I realized it wasn't

89
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,600
Speaker 2: about whether I was capable of doing it. It was

90
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,240
Speaker 2: actually like, so I could free up my time and

91
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,240
Speaker 2: had more capacity to do other things that I do

92
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,920
Speaker 2: enjoy and that are the crux of who I am

93
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:12,680
Speaker 2: and my business.

94
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,840
Speaker 1: So if you're if you're if you're paying someone I

95
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,440
Speaker 1: don't know, fifty bucks an hour whatever whatever it is

96
00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:23,120
Speaker 1: to do admin, arguably you be earning for your talent

97
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,680
Speaker 1: more than fifty bucks an hour. So wouldn't be better

98
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,599
Speaker 1: if you just spend fifty hours a week earning whatever

99
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,440
Speaker 1: you're going to per out for yourself, then having to

100
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,320
Speaker 1: be doing these ad ministry jobs you get someone else

101
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:34,320
Speaker 1: to do it fifty bucks an hour.

102
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:40,000
Speaker 2: I meanthomatically one hundred percent. The logic is there. However,

103
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,680
Speaker 2: my brain doesn't work the same way, and so it

104
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:47,159
Speaker 2: takes me like a long time to grasp but I'm

105
00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:52,520
Speaker 2: way better off doing that. I also have ADHD and OCD,

106
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:59,720
Speaker 2: so I very real, for real, like diagnosed clinically, but

107
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,960
Speaker 2: I literally it's the way my brain works.

108
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,800
Speaker 1: It's so warped.

109
00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,839
Speaker 2: And like I know the logic. I know that that's

110
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,880
Speaker 2: what I'm thinking is irrational, but for some reason I

111
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,280
Speaker 2: still resist it because it feels unnatural to me.

112
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,200
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you need to control everything? Is

113
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:14,960
Speaker 1: a part of it.

114
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,240
Speaker 2: So that's part of it. There is a control tendency.

115
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,599
Speaker 2: I think in the past, when I've worked with people,

116
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,400
Speaker 2: they haven't done the job as well, not as in

117
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,640
Speaker 2: working for me, but they've in a team, they haven't

118
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,400
Speaker 2: done the job as well, or I've ended up doing

119
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:32,120
Speaker 2: it anyway, and so in the past it's been a

120
00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:36,480
Speaker 2: bad decision for whatever reason, and now and I'm like,

121
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,600
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, like I need to actually find someone

122
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,680
Speaker 2: who's going to do the job. Well what if I

123
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,440
Speaker 2: can't find someone? And it's just been this lengthy back

124
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,840
Speaker 2: and forth and I'm just like an overthinker.

125
00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,720
Speaker 1: Anyway, I was going to say, is one of the

126
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:54,400
Speaker 1: hallmarks of ADHD and perhaps obsessing as well, But is

127
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,239
Speaker 1: it overthinking? In other words, not overthinking?

128
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:58,640
Speaker 2: I hate it's called ruminating.

129
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:03,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, ruminating ruminate or thinking about every single possibility

130
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,960
Speaker 1: that could occur. And when you think about everything single possibility,

131
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,720
Speaker 1: you'll never get to a more because there's so many

132
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,560
Speaker 1: of them, and then you can't make sense of them,

133
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:12,799
Speaker 1: and then you don't do anything.

134
00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,400
Speaker 2: Yep. It's like totally a control thing. So it's actually,

135
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,839
Speaker 2: this is a great segue into chatting about the OCD stuff,

136
00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:22,600
Speaker 2: which I didn't realize it hard. But one of the

137
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,920
Speaker 2: parts of it is the ruminating. So you get these

138
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,800
Speaker 2: obsessions with something and then you have to perform a

139
00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:30,920
Speaker 2: compulsion to neutralize yourself to make you feel better. And

140
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,120
Speaker 2: there's a whole range of these like it could be anything,

141
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,600
Speaker 2: but you perform the compulsion to neutralize it, to make

142
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,160
Speaker 2: yourself feel better than you can continue on. But it's

143
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:44,040
Speaker 2: all like pretty irrational stuff. So for example, for me,

144
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:48,920
Speaker 2: I have this weird thing where I actually laugh because

145
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,080
Speaker 2: it sounds so dumb when you say it out loud.

146
00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:55,159
Speaker 2: I have this weird thing where if I think about

147
00:06:55,279 --> 00:07:00,480
Speaker 2: every possible outcome that could potentially happen, I feel like

148
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,880
Speaker 2: I've beaten it to the punch. So I've thought about it,

149
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,440
Speaker 2: so I've ruled it out. So if I think of

150
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,720
Speaker 2: every bad thing that could potentially happen, it's not going

151
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,520
Speaker 2: to happen, because for some reason that has worked in

152
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,520
Speaker 2: the past. So I think about I like to be prepared.

153
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,400
Speaker 1: You don't want to be caught on a week, Yeah, So.

154
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,160
Speaker 2: You think of every single thing that could happen, so

155
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,560
Speaker 2: I'm like prepared for any scenario. And also I think

156
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,480
Speaker 2: of the bad stuff because like there's no way that

157
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,440
Speaker 2: I'm going to predict something bad's going to happen to me.

158
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,760
Speaker 2: So if I think of all the bad stuff that's gone,

159
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,320
Speaker 2: it's this weird way. And so I do this to

160
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,000
Speaker 2: myself by city. It's just the way my brain works,

161
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,760
Speaker 2: and like it's obviously we chatted before. It's like anxiety

162
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,720
Speaker 2: based and all driven. And that's the that's actually the

163
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,840
Speaker 2: interesting thing the commons de dominated with ADHD and OCD

164
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,400
Speaker 2: that a lot of people don't know is it's anxiety driven.

165
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,280
Speaker 2: And yeah, it literally comes from this, like this worry

166
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:57,360
Speaker 2: about not being able to do something or controlling something.

167
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:58,720
Speaker 2: So you ruminate on everything.

168
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,000
Speaker 1: And so how does ZOD express itself? Then? So what

169
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,840
Speaker 1: does it mean for you? Does it mean you paced

170
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,800
Speaker 1: up and down or you're washing your hands or like

171
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,960
Speaker 1: or you just can't stop thinking about something?

172
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,000
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, so there's a lot of time wasted. So

173
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,800
Speaker 2: I'm now medicated for it, which has changed my life.

174
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,080
Speaker 2: So the medication that I started taking so last year

175
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,120
Speaker 2: I hit, oh my gosh, we're getting very deep and

176
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,800
Speaker 2: it's like ten minutes in, like we should just start

177
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,000
Speaker 2: extend that a little bit to like the middle. What

178
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,160
Speaker 2: I was gonna say was last year I was having

179
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,920
Speaker 2: a really really tough year, probably about this time last

180
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:36,160
Speaker 2: year actually, and I finally had a really dear friend

181
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,600
Speaker 2: of mine chat with me about potentially going to see

182
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,880
Speaker 2: a doctor because we were kind of like, oh, we

183
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,199
Speaker 2: think that you might have had HD.

184
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,199
Speaker 1: Maybe really just just last year.

185
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, last year. My friend, my literally my cousin, my

186
00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:55,839
Speaker 2: best friend. She knows me so well, and she's just like,

187
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:59,599
Speaker 2: your mind races faster than anybody I've ever met, Like

188
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,880
Speaker 2: it is so fast, and you're just there's so much

189
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,520
Speaker 2: going on, and like she can keep up with it.

190
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,120
Speaker 2: But like, I'm very like fast paced in the way

191
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,319
Speaker 2: that I think that it's kind of like a stream

192
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,559
Speaker 2: of consciousness. Sometimes I'm not actually thinking ahead of what

193
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,679
Speaker 2: I'm saying, and she's just like, let's just go go

194
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,319
Speaker 2: to the doctor and the chat about it. And then

195
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,599
Speaker 2: she referred me to a psych. That all happened. But

196
00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:23,800
Speaker 2: then when I was at the psych, she was like, actually,

197
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,839
Speaker 2: I want't you do this questionnaire for OCD as well,

198
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,360
Speaker 2: And that came out like one hundred percent really strong.

199
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,640
Speaker 2: And basically when I figured that out, I looked back

200
00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:34,680
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my god, there's so many

201
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:39,800
Speaker 2: things that I did that I didn't realize were kind

202
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:44,079
Speaker 2: of symptoms of OCD. So, for example, the ruminating is

203
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,160
Speaker 2: one of them. But when I said it about the

204
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,120
Speaker 2: time wasting thing, so much time is wasted because you

205
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,719
Speaker 2: need to go and check things or you have to

206
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,679
Speaker 2: do certain systems in your head, or like patterns in

207
00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:01,320
Speaker 2: your head, or like, for example, I had a really

208
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:06,120
Speaker 2: weird one where I felt like the light switch wasn't

209
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,160
Speaker 2: off perfectly, so I had to flick it off like

210
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,120
Speaker 2: a certain number of times to make it sure it

211
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:15,160
Speaker 2: felt right. Or checking things like I know that I've

212
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,200
Speaker 2: put my keys in my bag, like see it happen,

213
00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,839
Speaker 2: but as I like two seconds later, I go to

214
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,640
Speaker 2: the door and I'm like, did I actually put them

215
00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:24,880
Speaker 2: in there? Oh, I'll just check, And then I'm like, yep,

216
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,120
Speaker 2: but did I actually do it? Okay, check again? Like

217
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,360
Speaker 2: it is just those tiny things. It's not even that's

218
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:33,319
Speaker 2: like a very simple, simple example of it. But other

219
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,640
Speaker 2: things would be like perfectionism is a big one, so

220
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,480
Speaker 2: and not in the sense of just like everyone thinks

221
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,360
Speaker 2: it's like clean, like everyone's like, oh my gosh, it's

222
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,760
Speaker 2: all about being like washing your hands, and that is

223
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,440
Speaker 2: one form of it, but that doesn't happen to everybody,

224
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,240
Speaker 2: but perfectionism is one. So for example, I would like,

225
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,079
Speaker 2: I feel like there was times when I actually a

226
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,880
Speaker 2: lot of people ask me to I'm doing my content,

227
00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,880
Speaker 2: and like social media, I would do things billion times,

228
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:04,880
Speaker 2: like to get it perfect and waste so much time

229
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:08,880
Speaker 2: on this tiny detail that probably didn't matter to everybody else,

230
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,480
Speaker 2: but for me, I actually physically couldn't move on, Like

231
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:15,240
Speaker 2: I literally you're stuck. You like know that you shouldn't

232
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,559
Speaker 2: go back, but you kind of give in and you're like,

233
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,560
Speaker 2: I'm just going to do it. So you just waste

234
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:19,680
Speaker 2: so much time.

235
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,160
Speaker 1: It causes you so much more inefficiency.

236
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:27,280
Speaker 2: It's inefficient, and it's it causes you more anxiety just

237
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:32,200
Speaker 2: from like overthinking everything. So there's those kinds of ways.

238
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:37,040
Speaker 2: And then I had some like extremely dark intrusive thoughts.

239
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:41,160
Speaker 1: And which means what what do you mean? What do

240
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:41,679
Speaker 1: you mean by that?

241
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:46,600
Speaker 2: Really dark as in things involving death and like violence?

242
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,400
Speaker 2: And I actually had to move out of my like

243
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,040
Speaker 2: place two hourses ago because it was just getting too much.

244
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:57,960
Speaker 2: And it's so weird because you don't want to hurt anybody,

245
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,199
Speaker 2: you know, no one wants to hurt you, but you

246
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,880
Speaker 2: can't get this thought out of your head once it

247
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,520
Speaker 2: jumps in, and you're like, why did I think of that?

248
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,800
Speaker 2: That was so weird, and like, oh, what's wrong with me? Wait? What?

249
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,319
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, oh, like you know, or you'll just

250
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,120
Speaker 2: be sitting like you're literally I'll be like lying in

251
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,079
Speaker 2: bed and I'll be like, oh my god, I just

252
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,520
Speaker 2: can't get this thought out of my head, and like

253
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,079
Speaker 2: I'm just checking things like locked and like you get

254
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,040
Speaker 2: so worked up. And then I wasn't sleeping for so long,

255
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,599
Speaker 2: and then it was just this whole thing and I

256
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,400
Speaker 2: just thought I was going like a bit, I was

257
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,680
Speaker 2: just exaggerating. I thought I was just over the top.

258
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:31,880
Speaker 1: This is last year, this is last year.

259
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,480
Speaker 2: And then when I went and found out and then

260
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,520
Speaker 2: I went on these meds and they were therefore anxiety,

261
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,640
Speaker 2: and that has basically oh my god, when I so,

262
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:44,240
Speaker 2: I was basically like a literal troll in my bed

263
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:48,120
Speaker 2: for two months, just like adjusting to it. You're adjusting

264
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:52,160
Speaker 2: the chemical worry, yes, yes, the there so the serotonin

265
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:58,480
Speaker 2: update one, yeah, uptake inhibitors whatever, ye that one. So

266
00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:01,079
Speaker 2: I have those and they obviously changed the chemicals of

267
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,120
Speaker 2: my brain. But then I hire over the first day

268
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,439
Speaker 2: then it started to kick in. I started crying because

269
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:09,439
Speaker 2: I was like, wait, this is what it's like to

270
00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:11,320
Speaker 2: not have a little voice in your head that's telling

271
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,439
Speaker 2: you everything's going to go wrong all the time. It's

272
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,200
Speaker 2: like tunnel vision. I was like, oh my god, wait

273
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,160
Speaker 2: what this like. I did not realized how bad my

274
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,959
Speaker 2: anxiety was. I thought that I was like, oh, yeah,

275
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,959
Speaker 2: I've got mild anxiety, but it was so debilitating. I

276
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:28,079
Speaker 2: wasn't getting anything done. And I ended up booking a

277
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,199
Speaker 2: trip to Europe two weeks before I went, and I

278
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,440
Speaker 2: went on my own, something I would never have done

279
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:36,120
Speaker 2: had I not like kind of gone through this process.

280
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,760
Speaker 2: And it changed my life. And I think it's like,

281
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,600
Speaker 2: you know, obviously touching on meds, it's not for everybody.

282
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,559
Speaker 2: I totally get that. For me, it has worked so

283
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,599
Speaker 2: well to help me get to a place where I

284
00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:49,880
Speaker 2: want to be, where I don't have to take them anymore.

285
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,840
Speaker 2: But it's just oh and so that was for the OCDA,

286
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:58,240
Speaker 2: and then afterwards I had to start taking the stimulants

287
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,000
Speaker 2: which is for my ADHD.

288
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:04,160
Speaker 1: Which just sounds odden stimular, but it helps you focus

289
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:10,280
Speaker 1: on on a task. I have some experience with family

290
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,240
Speaker 1: members in relation to this. You know, it's funny because

291
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,040
Speaker 1: sometimes we get a bit weird about I don't want

292
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,840
Speaker 1: to talk about it, you know, and people might think

293
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:24,040
Speaker 1: of something when I'm crazy or whatever, and to me,

294
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,880
Speaker 1: I don't really give a shit. Like I remember years

295
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:30,200
Speaker 1: ago when I was under a bit of pressure, Like

296
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:35,920
Speaker 1: many years ago, for about two years, I started watching

297
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:40,040
Speaker 1: looking at number plates, and I become obsessed with number plates,

298
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,360
Speaker 1: other people's on plates. And then I started to take

299
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,320
Speaker 1: the view that the number plate was I could interpret

300
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,760
Speaker 1: the number plate, and the number plate was actually had

301
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,120
Speaker 1: a mathematical sequence in it, and then I could and

302
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,880
Speaker 1: that and that those sequences were telling me something that

303
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,960
Speaker 1: I should be doing or should not be doing. And

304
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,480
Speaker 1: start off as a bit it was a bit bit

305
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,520
Speaker 1: of a weird thing. I was sort of joking with myself,

306
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,040
Speaker 1: and over period time I became obsessed with it and

307
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,160
Speaker 1: I had to go see somebody about it, and it

308
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:12,920
Speaker 1: was just my response to stress and pressure. But my

309
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:16,360
Speaker 1: response is that I'm an obsessive person as well. I

310
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,520
Speaker 1: get that, like with work of business or anything anything

311
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:24,240
Speaker 1: I'm interested in. And I had to take some medication

312
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,520
Speaker 1: on me out too. And people should talk about it more.

313
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,200
Speaker 1: I mean, you're a young woman, but it's great that

314
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,440
Speaker 1: you're prepared to talk about it. Maybe your generation is

315
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,240
Speaker 1: more like that. My generation is definitely like that to

316
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,400
Speaker 1: be prepared to talk about these sort of things in

317
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,760
Speaker 1: a public sense. Now, I don't care. But the only

318
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,440
Speaker 1: solution to these things is actually someone tapping on the

319
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,720
Speaker 1: shoulder telling you, hey, Mark, that's a bit weird. You

320
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 1: know what you're doing. Because it was one of my

321
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:52,160
Speaker 1: sons saw me staring at it, and then I started

322
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,600
Speaker 1: talking about it, and then and in the end I

323
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,920
Speaker 1: got myself, you know, I fixed it up. I still

324
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,440
Speaker 1: get it every now and then I can get it

325
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,480
Speaker 1: a little bit. I can still go back to none places.

326
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,720
Speaker 1: I can remember none plates. Yeah, they see a stick

327
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:04,280
Speaker 1: in my memory.

328
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, interesting, and I think about them for days yep.

329
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,440
Speaker 1: And then I started seeing patterns. So weird anyways, we think,

330
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,360
Speaker 1: But it's not about mess about you. But I just

331
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,880
Speaker 1: wanted why I want to say that is because people

332
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,080
Speaker 1: and me, people think more. Mark doesn't. You know. It

333
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,240
Speaker 1: doesn't have many dramas, but we all do it. We

334
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,000
Speaker 1: all have dramas, and we're all going to be prepared

335
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,520
Speaker 1: to talk about it. Has have you really, at any

336
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:29,400
Speaker 1: stage openly discussed this with massive audiences? Have you just

337
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,120
Speaker 1: openly discussed with the audiences?

338
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,920
Speaker 2: So I do. I have touched on it. So I

339
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,880
Speaker 2: spoke about it when it was happening. I mentioned that

340
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,040
Speaker 2: because I had this new lease on life, I was like,

341
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,400
Speaker 2: oh my god, like I'm living again, Like it was

342
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,200
Speaker 2: so weird. I was like grieving in a way this

343
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,560
Speaker 2: time that i'd lost because I don't know. I look

344
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,720
Speaker 2: back and I was like, oh, had I known this

345
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,280
Speaker 2: like five years ago, who knows where I could have

346
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,200
Speaker 2: been by now, Like that's how I took it. But

347
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,040
Speaker 2: I was like, no, it's better that it's happened now.

348
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,120
Speaker 2: I wouldn't change anything about because I didn't have any

349
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,040
Speaker 2: of this throughout lockdown, and I think that's obviously when

350
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:08,520
Speaker 2: I started, and that's how I was so like I

351
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,480
Speaker 2: was actually able to function in that way. But anyway,

352
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,560
Speaker 2: back to the question, I spoke about it once it

353
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,080
Speaker 2: had happened. So this is me like going off and

354
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,359
Speaker 2: challengent again. I spoke about it once it had happened

355
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:25,880
Speaker 2: to my audience very like, very candidly, like I kind

356
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,600
Speaker 2: of was like, yeah, that's fine, like I can, I

357
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,720
Speaker 2: can say whatever. And I answered a few questions and

358
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:34,520
Speaker 2: people were pretty interested. And then there's like this part

359
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:38,960
Speaker 2: of me that also didn't want my content to completely

360
00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:42,760
Speaker 2: change into my ADHD makes me like this, and I

361
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 2: did this with my oc victim literally and I was like, oh,

362
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,880
Speaker 2: like I don't want to be that person. It's like, oh, sorry, guys,

363
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,480
Speaker 2: my ADHD made me late, Like no, like, I'm not

364
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,800
Speaker 2: going to do that. I'm not going to make my personality.

365
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,960
Speaker 2: So I was pretty firm about that. So, yes, I

366
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 2: addressed it, and I'm open about it and if people

367
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,359
Speaker 2: ask me about it, I'm very happy to talk about it.

368
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,560
Speaker 2: I spoke about it on a podcast as well, which

369
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,400
Speaker 2: was really helpful for me to kind of like, yeah,

370
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 2: talk about it openly because it is important, but.

371
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 1: But it doesn't define you. It's the most No, it

372
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,480
Speaker 1: doesn't define me. How'd you come to terms with that?

373
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 2: So I just realized that I got to where I

374
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:24,200
Speaker 2: am today or like I guess last year without any

375
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,600
Speaker 2: without any of that knowledge that I had anything like that.

376
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,720
Speaker 2: So that means that who I was as Millie got

377
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:36,080
Speaker 2: me there, and that's what makes me me Like, yes,

378
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 2: I am so chaotic and scatterbrained and disorganized and like, honestly,

379
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,159
Speaker 2: I'm like, why me?

380
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 1: Why am I?

381
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,760
Speaker 2: Why was I created to be incredibly disorganized? And some

382
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 2: people at my sister most organized person. I I was

383
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,679
Speaker 2: like that's not fair, Like that's what I'm annoyed about. However,

384
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:56,399
Speaker 2: it also gives me the ability to find humor in

385
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,840
Speaker 2: chaos and be relatable for people because a lot of

386
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:04,280
Speaker 2: people can relate. We need people to show the realities

387
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,000
Speaker 2: of life because it's just it's I'm not living a

388
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 2: perfect life, and I was. It was pretty easy for

389
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 2: me to be like, Yep, it's not me. It's a

390
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 2: part of me. I'm working on it, and it's helping

391
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,840
Speaker 2: me set up systems and stuff like getting a PA

392
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,199
Speaker 2: two so I don't have to heavily rely on them

393
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 2: for the rest of my life.

394
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 1: But I'm with that comedy in chaos that's not a

395
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 1: bad term that it's quite a good turn of phrase.

396
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 1: But what do you mean by comedy and chaos? Do

397
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,720
Speaker 1: you actually think your brain is chaotic?

398
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Yeah, Like it's actually you know how

399
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,639
Speaker 2: you were saying it. Someone needs to tell you that

400
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,119
Speaker 2: you're weird. I like, my cousin was like, mil I

401
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,159
Speaker 2: know you're weird, but like that's weird. You need to

402
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:50,080
Speaker 2: go see like I am like the most Like there's

403
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:54,920
Speaker 2: just so much in here and it's so funny when

404
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,720
Speaker 2: I start speaking to someone new and would jumping like

405
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,440
Speaker 2: like next thing next, and like, wait, hang on, we

406
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 2: were talking about and I'm like, sorry, I just have

407
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,680
Speaker 2: so much to say. Just keep up with me, Like

408
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,960
Speaker 2: I've got so much to say, and there's just so

409
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:14,040
Speaker 2: much going on in my brain and it's it's it

410
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 2: makes me. It causes chaos in my life. So for example,

411
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 2: before I your case for brothers, for everybody literally including me.

412
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,120
Speaker 2: So for example, I'll be in the middle of doing

413
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 2: something like I'll be in the mid of the doing

414
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 2: car this is a very eighty ahd thing, but in

415
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 2: the middle of doing a task, and then something pops

416
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,880
Speaker 2: into my head and I was like, oh, that would

417
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 2: be so funny. Way, I wonder if I have that

418
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 2: shirt from two thousand and eight still in my wardrobe

419
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:44,399
Speaker 2: drop everything, Like, say you're doing the dishes, dishes dropped.

420
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 2: I need to go find that shirt from two thousand

421
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 2: and eight. Do I have that in my wardrobe. I'm

422
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 2: gonna go rifling through.

423
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:50,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, there's a dress.

424
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try this and I haven't wornt this in

425
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 2: ages is thish. Oh my gosh, my phone rang. Okay, cool.

426
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,399
Speaker 2: And then at the end of the day, I'm like,

427
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 2: I forgot to finish doing the dishes. So that is

428
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 2: like my life is just I swear three quarters of

429
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 2: the time I'm just cleaning up after myself because I've

430
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 2: left a trail. It's like, you know, Millie's been here,

431
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 2: because there's just half finished things everywhere. So there's that chaos.

432
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 2: But also I went through a pretty toxic stage of

433
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 2: just like I guess in dating as well, like you

434
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 2: can be pretty chaotic as well, and I'm not really

435
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,159
Speaker 2: like that anymore. And actually i don't think I was

436
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 2: ever that bad, but like probably doing things that I

437
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:33,440
Speaker 2: wasn't I probably shouldn't have because it's chaotic, and it's

438
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:34,639
Speaker 2: like for the story, yeah, I.

439
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: Mean I'm going on a different blokesore, Yeah.

440
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,199
Speaker 2: This is a rogue This is such a not at

441
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 2: the same time, but more like this is a rogue

442
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 2: story or like this is probably not a good time

443
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 2: to go see this person. I'm gonna go do it

444
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 2: anyway because it's a funny story. So like almost creating

445
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 2: content from my life because it's funny and like, this

446
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 2: is something I've noticed while in this job, is like

447
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 2: when I now I'm like, oh that's a good that's content.

448
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,400
Speaker 2: Like I'll think of something Oh, that's great content. It's

449
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 2: like anything that happens good or bad. If it's bad

450
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 2: good content, Like it's so weird how I try and

451
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 2: turn everything into like and this is also not a

452
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 2: great thing, but you kind of try and think of

453
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 2: the positive in the negatives of like, well, at least

454
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:21,959
Speaker 2: there's a funny video out of it sort of thing.

455
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:24,480
Speaker 1: And what do you do that you're actually going to

456
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 1: record something?

457
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,399
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, I record a lot. Actually lately I have

458
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,359
Speaker 2: taken a bit of a step back just because I

459
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 2: needed just to breathe. But I record so much and like,

460
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 2: you know, come with me in Melbourne or whatever. Missed

461
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 2: my flight, Oh, whoops, miss my flight sort of thing

462
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 2: like that. Obviously that's not great, but people like the

463
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 2: journey and they like to see themselves in news.

464
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 1: What do you think that? Did you think that? Do

465
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 1: you think that people like to see that someone else

466
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,680
Speaker 1: sucks up as well? As? In other words, we're sick

467
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 1: of seeing people's perfect lives.

468
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 2: One hundred and fifty percent. It's like that was the

469
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 2: main thing I got when I started doing my content

470
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 2: was everyone was doing these perfect videos, make up filters. Everything.

471
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 2: I turned on my camera, like I put my phone

472
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 2: up against like a stack of books press play, had

473
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 2: no make up on, hair hun done. This was in

474
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 2: the middle of Lockdown, probably wearing pajamas and just started filming.

475
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't care. I had a green

476
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 2: screen background and everyone was like, Oh, this is so real,

477
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 2: like I can see myself in you, or like I

478
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 2: can relate to this. It's so nice and refreshing. And

479
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 2: then it was kind of Actually, it was good for

480
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 2: a while, and it's still good. However, it starts to

481
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 2: put pressure on you to like always be real and

482
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 2: like that. And if you start to kind of like

483
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 2: move into like oh, why are you putting your makeup on?

484
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,120
Speaker 2: And why are you getting dressed up for the camera,

485
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,680
Speaker 2: Like that's not you. You're like, we don't like it,

486
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like there's always something you get.

487
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 2: You kind of pigeonhole yourself in the relatable girl.

488
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you put a square around yourself. Yeah, and

489
00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: which you can't step outside having having ADHD that that's

490
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: not that's not that personality. That personality steps out all

491
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,120
Speaker 1: over the place. You step outside the square all the time.

492
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 1: You're never in the square. People think you're in the scare,

493
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 1: but you will step out the square all the time.

494
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 1: In fact, you don't even know there's a square there.

495
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 2: I mean it's like a triangle.

496
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:29,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. I like that as so like you've had Would

497
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 1: you attribute though you've had massive, massive success in TikTok?

498
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:39,639
Speaker 1: Would you attribute those you know, those views and the

499
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 1: people who follow you and watch what you do. Would

500
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 1: you attribute that to the fact that people like to

501
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 1: see frailty. I don't know, I don't mean frailty like

502
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 1: in an old grammar, but intellectual frailty. That and as

503
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,959
Speaker 1: opposed to perfectness, because I think I think I am.

504
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: I'm sick of watching perfection all the time. I'm over it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

505
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: and some by some dudes are perfect by the way,

506
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 1: you know, everything they do is perfect, but like definitely

507
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 1: not my world.

508
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

509
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 1: Do you think people just relate to you because we

510
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 1: are sick to death of perfection?

511
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 2: Yes? I think that is the feedback that I get

512
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 2: as well from people who message me. They'll be like,

513
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,119
Speaker 2: thank you so much for like, like you've inspired me

514
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 2: now to like I don't know, start posting or something.

515
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 2: I don't have. You know, the perfect house, It's not

516
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 2: all set up perfectly, you know how like you see

517
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 2: videos online and their houses are so immaculates it kills me.

518
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 2: And you're just like, that is their job. They have

519
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 2: spent hours putting that together. It's not realistic, but no

520
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 2: one sees that, and they make it look effortless and

521
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 2: as soon.

522
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 1: As you fashing start.

523
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, literally, it's like they've got a team of people,

524
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 2: Like they're at home all day setting up lighting to

525
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 2: make it perfect. Like you cannot relate to that. And

526
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 2: even I catch myself doing it, Like if I'm setting

527
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 2: up my camera and there's like an ugly box in

528
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 2: the back, I'm like, oh, there's a box.

529
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 1: I'm going to move that, Like, well, then how do

530
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,879
Speaker 1: you reconcole that part? So, because you know, you're a

531
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: perfection on someone side, yea, And you do you edit

532
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 1: your own stuff?

533
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:10,360
Speaker 2: Yes?

534
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 1: Yes, So you're perfectionous in that you're the talent in

535
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 1: the in the in the video and then you do

536
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 1: the edit. When you're doing the edit, you see the

537
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,159
Speaker 1: shitty black box. You're being a perfectionist. You want to

538
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 1: better redo this. How do you sort of reconcole all that?

539
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: I know, it's it seems like it's two opposite ends,

540
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 2: and I think there will be times when I'm moving

541
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 2: the box and like I move the box and at

542
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 2: the end, I'm like, oh, I should have just left

543
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 2: it there. Oh whatever, Like I kind of I always

544
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 2: catch myself trying to give off a certain image or

545
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 2: perfect perfect image, and It'll be after it happens and

546
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I should have just said that. Why

547
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,200
Speaker 2: did I do an introduction? As though I'm like on

548
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 2: a talk show, I should have spoken like this, Like

549
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 2: I do that all the time. I'd be like, I'm

550
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 2: going to go and talk about this today and you

551
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 2: turn the camera on and it's like you're in an

552
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 2: interview and I was like, that's not me, that is

553
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 2: not me. Do it again. And I catch myself when

554
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 2: I fall into it. So there's the perfectionism of like

555
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 2: you're trying to be too perfect. Stop trying to be

556
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 2: perfect and just be yourself.

557
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 1: What about this? Merely? What about if you? It's not

558
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 1: for me to solve anyone's things, But like, I mean

559
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 1: the fact that you walked in in an imperfect sense.

560
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 1: In other words, you didn't put spray down on your leg,

561
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: and you've got two socks on. Look, but you got

562
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: together with beautiful Schanel shoes. But that's actually perfect. So

563
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:42,120
Speaker 1: imperfection is perfection for me, you know, for most people.

564
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 1: I think most of us recognize that there is no

565
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 1: such thing as perfect, and if we see it's perfect,

566
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 1: we think it's not authentic or it's been dressed, you

567
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 1: know what I mean, And it's not real. It's not

568
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,640
Speaker 1: the real deal. And you know, like if you had,

569
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 1: if you made yourself just the talent, maybe your pa

570
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 1: dash could be a producer as well, be the personal

571
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 1: edits your stuff, and then you had and if you

572
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,439
Speaker 1: had a neutral edit. Because I don't edit anything here,

573
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 1: it all gets into the moment my team, because I

574
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:13,879
Speaker 1: know if I was editing it, I would be so

575
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,119
Speaker 1: fucking critical of what I'm doing. It was nothing to

576
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 1: you get edited. These guys, these guys here who edit

577
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 1: my staff, they edited to their to their level, to

578
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: what their perception is, and they're more like the audience.

579
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 1: That way, I don't have to get caught up in it,

580
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: and I done se myself crazy. That's maybe what your

581
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: PA could do for you.

582
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 2: I think. So I actually advertised for like a content

583
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 2: person with it, and the people that kind of came

584
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 2: back like there've been some definitely some good options, which

585
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 2: has been great, and it's exactly what you're saying. It's

586
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 2: like figuring out that it's imperfectly perfectly imperfect, because like

587
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 2: with the socks, this was like literally a matter of time.

588
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 2: I was like, you're running, like you just need to go,

589
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 2: Like I literally couldn't control that. I had more time,

590
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 2: I would have scrounged around to find the right socks.

591
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 2: But I think you get to a point where, yeah,

592
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 2: then it becomes toxically perfectly imperfect. And that's why you

593
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 2: see this weird transition into people trying to make their

594
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 2: feeds look effortless and imperfect, but you know that they've

595
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: put time into making it look imperfect.

596
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 1: Stuff, and you're like, oh my god, like this is

597
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 1: an example of you overthinking. You're already thinking the possibilities going.

598
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: They've spent their time in making it look perfectly imperfect,

599
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: and you're like.

600
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 2: How do those girls do it? They just look effortlessly cool,

601
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 2: and I have just embraced.

602
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 1: The foot that's cool. Though perfectly imperfect is actually cool.

603
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 2: That's cool.

604
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 1: And then then if it's real.

605
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 2: If it's real, if it's real, and I'm like, I

606
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 2: wish that was me so much and I think the

607
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 2: main takeaway from all of this is, like, I just

608
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 2: need to show up as myself, whatever that is. I'm

609
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 2: going through different stages in my life, like one of

610
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 2: them is chaotic. Then you know, I get on my

611
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 2: medication things a little bit more together, then I'm like,

612
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 2: you know, having an amazing peak in my career. And

613
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 2: I think all these different millies kind of show up,

614
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,400
Speaker 2: and I just need to show up to my followers

615
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 2: and my audience as that version of Milly whatever it is.

616
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 2: And I think it's just about authenticity at the end

617
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 2: of the day. And that's for what I'm putting out there,

618
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 2: but for myself realizing that literally the reason why people

619
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 2: follow me is because I'm not perfect, and I actually

620
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 2: this is a weird thought, but I have tried to

621
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 2: kind of move into a little bit more of a

622
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 2: put together state of my life, and like, you know,

623
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 2: a lot of things do need to be put together.

624
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 2: But then showing up online as more put together it

625
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 2: doesn't work for me. So I as in, like I'll

626
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 2: post like a hot photo or something that I think

627
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 2: looks good, the girls like post it, You're caught, and

628
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 2: it doesn't perform nearly as well. As mad, dress up

629
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 2: as an old lady with no makeup and a card, again,

630
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 2: speaking in a high voice, like, it is so crazy

631
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 2: that no one wants me to be hot. Like they're like, nah,

632
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 2: do your comedy, Like do your funny stuff. We like

633
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 2: that more, and so it doesn't like it's weird. I'm like, Okay,

634
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 2: this is weird. I actually people, everyone is telling me,

635
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 2: just be yourself, don't try and be put together, don't

636
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 2: try and be this perfect person. Obviously you can enjoy

637
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 2: that and celebrate that when that happens, but it's so

638
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 2: weird how you like need to.

639
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: Just stick to what you're good at and what your audience.

640
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 2: Likes and what your audience likes. And there's that strategy

641
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 2: in that too, because then you like start to lose

642
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 2: yourself and like, you know what, I've had that recently

643
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 2: where I'm just like I feel like I've lost my

644
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 2: spark a little bit, like where where did she go?

645
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 2: And it's definitely due to like overthinking. And then like

646
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 2: you know, I moved house, and like you just get stressed,

647
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 2: and whenever I'm stressed, I just have no creative drive.

648
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 1: I can't.

649
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, how can I think of an idea.

650
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 1: Ever again, it sounds like you sound like an artist.

651
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 1: You know, someone who's looking to you can inspire it

652
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,239
Speaker 1: to paint something or to write something. You know, then

653
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 1: they need to get a certain set of conditions in

654
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: order to do that, you know, like you know, it

655
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: could be going to the south of France because they

656
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 1: need a certain light at a particular time of year

657
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: to be able to paint a certain type of painting.

658
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 1: And a lot of famous artists actually have gone through

659
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: those processes. I remember the late John Olson used to

660
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: talk about how he spent a lot of time in France,

661
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 1: and I can which part of France, So, of course

662
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 1: at a certain time of year, because at a certain

663
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: time of year the sun was at a certain level

664
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 1: and it gave a certain quality of light in order

665
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: to allow him to paint some of the most beautiful

666
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 1: paintings he'd ever done. But at any other time he

667
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 1: couldn't do it. And when you just talked about being inspired,

668
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 1: when I mentioned about the inspiration, and then you talked

669
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: about the difference between you're merely the hot roto versus

670
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 1: merely the creative creating herself to be the old lady

671
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: with the cardigan on I think audiences if they really

672
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 1: like Milli taking the piss, in other words, doing something funny,

673
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 1: that they get disappointed when they see Milli hot.

674
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 2: That's what I found.

675
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 1: They want to see Milli the funny person. Yes, because

676
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: that's what you're a funny person. And if I go

677
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 1: to a restaurant which serves great, I don't know, there's

678
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 1: a meat restaurant, and all of a sudden they start

679
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 1: trying to dish seafood up to me. I don't want

680
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 1: to know about it. That's in my brain. That's the

681
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: meat restaurant merely is the funny person. She's a creative

682
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 1: So where does your where do your creative ideas come from?

683
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: Like you do take the piss, So you're a little

684
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 1: bit like the uninspired the inspired unemployed bokes, a little

685
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: bit like a female version, like they come over with

686
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 1: some sort of practical jokers, mad capping, funny shit. So

687
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 1: where do where do you get your inspiration from? So

688
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: do you walking down the room you see some old

689
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,920
Speaker 1: lady sitting there buying a cup of to you? How

690
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: do you work it?

691
00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: Literally? That like it'll be at the most times, Like

692
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 2: I genuinely do feel like I put the pressure on myself.

693
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 2: But I do feel like the pressure on me to

694
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 2: like find moments, little moments in the day that that

695
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 2: people forget, like are happening to everybody. So I remember

696
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 2: when I first started, it just was overflowing. There was

697
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 2: all these ideas I could do this, that, and then

698
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,439
Speaker 2: and everyone's like, how do you think of these things?

699
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 2: Like how do you think of I was like, well,

700
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,959
Speaker 2: I have a whole list, like I think something, write

701
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,759
Speaker 2: it down, and then I go through it and it

702
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 2: was all just kind of like coming out and then

703
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 2: absolutely creative block hits and you're like, I can't think

704
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 2: of anything, and so I'll go for a walk. But

705
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 2: I find that if you try to go looking for it,

706
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 2: you don't find it. So I need to distruct myself

707
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 2: and I need to like switch off. And it's usually

708
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 2: you know how they say, like like your best ideas

709
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:53,839
Speaker 2: in the shower or like before bed, it's like your

710
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 2: inhibitions are kind.

711
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 1: Of down, like you kind of you're relaxed.

712
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 2: You're relax not overthinking it. And that is exactly the

713
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 2: same same as me and I had an idea actually

714
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 2: walking over to the studio completely different, completely different to

715
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 2: what I do. But I was like, Oh, that's a

716
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,799
Speaker 2: funny idea. I'm just going to drop that down. Don't

717
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:17,879
Speaker 2: even know why it came to me. It was because

718
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 2: I was listening to a song that reminded me of

719
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 2: a moment that reminded me of a person who's spoken

720
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:25,279
Speaker 2: about that, who reminded me of that that that, and

721
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 2: there was like a like a zigzag of connections, and

722
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,399
Speaker 2: that was my inspiration. I wasn't going, do you want

723
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 2: to do a post to like to write it to sorry, Yeah,

724
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 2: to make a skit about an idea that I had,

725
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,879
Speaker 2: which I'll do later. But it was so weird how

726
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 2: it came about in the most unsuspecting way. I was

727
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 2: just like, driving here, I wasn't thinking, I've got to

728
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 2: think of three ideas before I get to the studio,

729
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 2: Like it's got to be. It's it's in those moments

730
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 2: when you force it. They don't work for me. If

731
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 2: I ever I feel something's forced, it usually doesn't perform

732
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 2: that well. And which is why when I'm working with brands,

733
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 2: I like, I'll be honest with them and I'll be like,

734
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 2: this is not going to do well. It's way too forced,

735
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 2: way too prescriptive, Like.

736
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 1: They do they do they rescript for you.

737
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:11,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, so some of them, some brands are amazing to

738
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,840
Speaker 2: work with and they just like get it and they're like,

739
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 2: you know your audience, like you have not come this

740
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 2: far and like not learnt along the way what your

741
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,279
Speaker 2: audience likes. And then some of them are just like, nah,

742
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 2: it needs to be like this, this and this, Like

743
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 2: you need to say our brand name in the middle

744
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:28,320
Speaker 2: of the screen for like ten seconds. And I'm like,

745
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 2: trust me, everyone, Like no one's even going to make

746
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 2: it to the end of the video, like there is

747
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,320
Speaker 2: no point And a lot of bland brands are flexible

748
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 2: and a lot of brands want you to do it

749
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 2: their way, and like I try not to work with them.

750
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 2: If that's the.

751
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 1: Case, how do you work that out? How do you

752
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 1: cull those?

753
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 2: So I start from the get go. I'm very upfront.

754
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,240
Speaker 2: I'm like I need creative control over the final asset,

755
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 2: depending on the situation obviously, like if it's you know,

756
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 2: a bigger project, but if it's just a regular skit

757
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:00,320
Speaker 2: or whatever, like tell me the key messaging, what's the

758
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 2: brief or like I need to come up with like

759
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 2: the creative idea, the concept I can't be shoved something

760
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 2: in my face. It just doesn't work. And if they're

761
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,240
Speaker 2: not happy with that, then it's like obviously the past.

762
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 2: But most people are really good at being like okay,

763
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,720
Speaker 2: you know, we totally get that, like you know your audience.

764
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 2: But I'm pretty brutal, like I won't like I don't

765
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 2: I won't work with something that someone or a brand

766
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 2: that doesn't feel authentic to me, Like I genuinely will

767
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 2: just be like it's not inspiring. I don't want to

768
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 2: get up and like do this video no matter you

769
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,839
Speaker 2: know the price on it, Like it actually doesn't work

770
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:40,320
Speaker 2: for me. I like, I just don't find I'm not inspired.

771
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,359
Speaker 2: And also I feel like I've let my audience down.

772
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 2: It's cringey. I'm just like, oh, I got to just

773
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 2: post this one. It's like no, like I want to

774
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 2: post stuff that I'm really proud of and like that

775
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 2: I know people will enjoy.

776
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you need to get a bit

777
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 1: nervous about it first? I mean, how important is it?

778
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,320
Speaker 1: It feel like it's a bit edgy or it's a

779
00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:59,800
Speaker 1: little bit a little bit on the edge, and like,

780
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 1: do you in order for it to work for your

781
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: audience or is it going to be sanitized.

782
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 2: I'm pretty like family friendly with my content, just because

783
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 2: I have so many generations watching me, like everywhere, from

784
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 2: like little kids in school and then to like grandma's

785
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 2: and like moms who were like like, oh, duh, you're

786
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 2: my favorite, Like I love you keep doing it like

787
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 2: that vibe yeah, And I'm like, Okay, these whole families

788
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,839
Speaker 2: are watching me, like I know tep Like I don't

789
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 2: know them, but they've messaged me being like we used

790
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:36,320
Speaker 2: to or we still do. We watch your videos before class,

791
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:38,800
Speaker 2: like during lockdown they'd put on one of my tiktoks

792
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,719
Speaker 2: and be like all right, like and I'm like, you're

793
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 2: showing it to kids, Like I kin'd of want to

794
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 2: be safe for them to watch and not on the

795
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 2: teachers to be like, oh, that's such a shame that

796
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 2: we can't play your videos anymore. And also another interesting

797
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: fact is not fact, but the thing I've learned a learning.

798
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 2: I am so happy that I did decide to be

799
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 2: kind of a brand safe because the opportunities have been like,

800
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 2: there have been so many opportunities that have come from it,

801
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 2: as opposed to if I'd been incredibly out there and

802
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 2: like that's not even me anyway. Like I do like

803
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 2: to have some sort of like nice I don't know,

804
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:22,320
Speaker 2: not nice, but like I like it to be digestible basically,

805
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 2: like I'm not like a hard hitting, like you know,

806
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 2: someone vative person. No, Like I'm not like that anyway.

807
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 2: So I am really glad that I that I stayed

808
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 2: to that, stick to that, because it's just it works

809
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 2: me in that way. It's very true to who I am.

810
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 2: I'm not going to try and be someone I'm not.

811
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 2: But I know for other people being abrasive and being

812
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,800
Speaker 2: like a little bit like naughty or whatever, it works

813
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,759
Speaker 2: for them like that and that's fine, and they do

814
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 2: it best. I'm not going to try That's.

815
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: That's because I mean I've had sitting right in that

816
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 1: chairs the Spaniard And if you know who the Spenion is,

817
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be surprised you've never heard of him. But

818
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 1: he's a very popular guy. But he's the opposite to you. Yeah,

819
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: and he says things that always controversial, but that's his

820
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: audience and that's him by the way. He loves that

821
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 1: and it works for him. But if you're it's very

822
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 1: interesting that you talk about you know, like how your

823
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 1: mind is chaotok and your life's chaotic. But at the

824
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 1: same time, it seems to be pretty clear that you're

825
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 1: you're running this like a business because you actually do

826
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 1: know your audience. The two things you know is yourself

827
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 1: what your talent.

828
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 2: Is, very self aware and nothing else.

829
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 1: But totally that's a big deal, but also your audience.

830
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 1: You know what your audience does and doesn't like, or

831
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 1: you definitely know what your audience likes. Maybe don't know

832
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:39,880
Speaker 1: what they don't like, but you definitely know what they like.

833
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 1: And you I don't want to say a bad word feed.

834
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 1: I hate the word feed, but you you provided to them,

835
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 1: you deliver it and distributed to them.

836
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: I joke about that. I'm like, Mum's feeding you guys today,

837
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 2: Like I've got content. Yeah, I'd like Mum's just left

838
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 2: some dinner on the table and the like post a video.

839
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 1: But do you actually dress up for these things now?

840
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,959
Speaker 2: Like so, okay, this is a good get in the character,

841
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 2: this is a great so.

842
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: I they hate that word though, Segway spell, so it's.

843
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 2: A different segue to like a Segway ride on Segy

844
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 2: It's different. I learned that way too late in life.

845
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about there,

846
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 1: but I know the ones you're talking about, like the

847
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 1: little right on on the holiday. I don't to use

848
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:20,919
Speaker 1: them anymore. I don' think I think you're illegal. But sorry,

849
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 1: my parents, we can't do this.

850
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 2: Back to it, okay. So basically what we're saying, I

851
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 2: don't know.

852
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 1: I can't remember. Now we were saying, as you said,

853
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 1: this is a good segway.

854
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:33,800
Speaker 2: This is a good segue.

855
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 1: But getting in a characters got me fucked up? Family friendly.

856
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 2: That's the merely effect, honestly. I basically, so, yeah, I

857
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 2: gette the character I started. Okay, so I started. This

858
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 2: is an interesting thing. I started my videos not even

859
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 2: thinking twice. Well, I thought maybe once. I didn't think twice.

860
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 2: I thought, okay, teachers were cardigans. I'll just live. Oh,

861
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 2: this is the end of carding, and I have chuck

862
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 2: it on. I get one hundred million comments about the

863
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 2: card again. I was like, okay, people love the CARDI

864
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:08,279
Speaker 2: and I keep that and I'm like, okay, it's a

865
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,280
Speaker 2: cold day and I happen to be wearing a turtleneck,

866
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 2: so I'm going to just chuck on the cardigan over

867
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 2: the turtleneck. People say, oh my gosh, like your turtleneck,

868
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 2: it's the perfect. Suddenly I have an outfit and that's

869
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 2: my teacher outfit, and I was like, I didn't actually

870
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 2: make that. However, now I've got a costume and I

871
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 2: cannot wear that turtleneck ever again in public. So that

872
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 2: and the mum I think it must have been a

873
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 2: cold day and I had the puffer on. Everyone's like,

874
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 2: oh my god, the puffer is mum. And I was like, Oh,

875
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 2: this is so weird because I didn't think about it.

876
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 2: But I also was like, wait, my mum. Also, yeah,

877
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 2: my mum was a puff up what character created, so

878
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 2: they kind of naturally created. But then also so it

879
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 2: was it was good because it was distinguishable. Everyone was like, oh, mum,

880
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 2: characters on teach, characters on whatever. And then it got

881
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,439
Speaker 2: to a point where I was like, oh, I don't

882
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 2: want to put on the outfit or I wish I

883
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 2: could film that right now, but I don't have the

884
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 2: outfit with me, or that I come to change. And

885
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I feel like I'm letting people

886
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 2: down if I don't do the outfit, and so I

887
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 2: slowly like I kind of it's a bit more malleable now,

888
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 2: like sometimes I'll like wear the path or sometimes I won't.

889
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 1: But basically, do you give them a name? By the way, Yeah, So.

890
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,800
Speaker 2: Missus Brown is the English teacher I had like a

891
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 2: project and we needed to name her. I was like,

892
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 2: Missus Brown.

893
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 1: And then the.

894
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 2: Mom's name I believe is Julie because someone said it

895
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 2: in a video and I was like, I need to

896
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 2: stick to that now. So they some of them names

897
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 2: the art teachers called Bronwin like that. I let the

898
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 2: teacher the audience named her. So I was like, can

899
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 2: you tell me? So I got the audience, like my

900
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 2: followers to like name her, and whatever had the most likes.

901
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 2: I just picked that one, so that one worked. But like,

902
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 2: so they these characters are like it's so weird because

903
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 2: they've developed into these much more like definitive characters now.

904
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 2: Every time there's like you know that n I hadd glasses.

905
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 2: Then I added like an upside down watch because they

906
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 2: always do that. I was like, why all those literally why,

907
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 2: I'm the like stuffing teaches down, sorry, stuffing tissues down

908
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 2: their sleeves, and so I was doing that and I

909
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 2: was like, this character like developed over time, and so

910
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 2: now I really do feel like I step away and

911
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,320
Speaker 2: then I step into character. It helps me. It's like

912
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 2: if you're play a TV show, character you're costuming helps

913
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 2: you get into it. So that was really good. But

914
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:22,320
Speaker 2: then now I'm at a point where I'm like, I

915
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 2: have done these characters so much right, like I started

916
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 2: three years ago doing it, and it's yes, it's become

917
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 2: part of me, but it's I have so much more

918
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,839
Speaker 2: to offer the world, Like I've got so many other interests,

919
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 2: and it's trying to find that balance between like still

920
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:47,280
Speaker 2: giving people entertaining content, still being myself, still being authentic,

921
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:53,800
Speaker 2: still being funny, not being perfect, still being interesting, relevant,

922
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,239
Speaker 2: but also being myself and being vulnerable. But we want

923
00:44:58,280 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 2: to see more of you, Millie. Oh, but we want

924
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 2: see more skits, show us behind the scenes. Now we

925
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 2: don't want to see behind the scenes. We just want

926
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 2: to see the videos or like, there's just so many

927
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 2: different things that people want to see.

928
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 1: That's good, which is good, gives you plenty of choices.

929
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 2: Does but then there's like that kind of double edged

930
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,919
Speaker 2: sword with choice because then you're kind of like which

931
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 2: direction for.

932
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 1: You it would be for me? Yeah, because there's too

933
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: many choices, choices, and too many possibilities or sub choices

934
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 1: within the choices exactly.

935
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 2: So I've been through this like mental dilemma actually recently,

936
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,840
Speaker 2: it's probably a good time to talk about it, but

937
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 2: it's been very much like these characters who I just

938
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 2: adore so much. I also don't want to fatigue them,

939
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 2: like I don't want to run them into the ground

940
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 2: that I can't ever pull them out again. And so

941
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,399
Speaker 2: because I'd love to turn them into a show one day,

942
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 2: like it would be so awesome to have a show

943
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 2: about like mums or something, how fun, and like I

944
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 2: would hate to be like, oh, I can't ever put

945
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 2: on a puffa jacket anywhere and ever again because it

946
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 2: reminds me of like it's just been overdone. So then

947
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 2: you kind of start to step away. And this is

948
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,280
Speaker 2: where I have this mini like identity crisis of like, Okay,

949
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 2: I've got this platform, I'm not doing skits as much.

950
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 2: What's going on with me? Like what am I doing?

951
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 2: Like who am I? And I've taken some time to

952
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 2: like think about it, I'm like, okay, what am I

953
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 2: interested in? And the natural segue was like acting and

954
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 2: I wanted to be an actor ever since I was

955
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:30,760
Speaker 2: a little girl, but I didn't pursue it after school

956
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 2: because I didn't have the confidence and that kind of

957
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:35,239
Speaker 2: grew with the platform, like the confidence of.

958
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 1: Like, hey, I can do this, Like certainly Dragon audience, I.

959
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:41,800
Speaker 2: Literally was like I was literally like I can do this.

960
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 2: And then the home and Away opportunity came up, which

961
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 2: was so exciting. Actually I did a tiny little cameo

962
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:50,279
Speaker 2: on Bump on Stan and then the home and a

963
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 2: Waste opportunity came up, and I was like, oh my god,

964
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 2: I'm screaming.

965
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 1: How did they come about? Did they ring you? So? No?

966
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 2: So they actually I think what happened was because it's

967
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:06,040
Speaker 2: very like there's a lot of moving parts with the show.

968
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,479
Speaker 2: There was like they needed a last minute character or something,

969
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:13,240
Speaker 2: and so they put a call out for my character,

970
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:17,840
Speaker 2: who was actually an influencer, and they asked me to

971
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 2: come in an audition. I auditioned and everything, and then

972
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:23,799
Speaker 2: I got it and I went in and I did

973
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 2: a whole day of shooting and that was like so

974
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,359
Speaker 2: much fun, and it just like showed me a little

975
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 2: the behind the scenes on set, but it was it

976
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 2: was literally it came so This was last year in August,

977
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 2: while I was kind of having like the identity crisis,

978
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 2: I was like and then I was like, okay, great,

979
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 2: And since then, it's not like I've been like overwhelmed

980
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 2: with acting work, Like it just doesn't work like that.

981
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 2: And so I'm kind of like, Okay, I've done that thing,

982
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,880
Speaker 2: Like all right, tick, Like we've got one thing on

983
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 2: the portfolio and now we've got to be like kind

984
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:57,759
Speaker 2: of working on something else. So like you kind of

985
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 2: are always coming back to like who am. I like

986
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 2: making sure that I have like a strong foundation who

987
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:04,800
Speaker 2: I am because I don't want to get.

988
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,839
Speaker 1: Lost in as a performer or as Millie Forward, as

989
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 1: Millie Ford. So how do you separate these things? So, yeah,

990
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 1: you've got Millie Ford, who's you know, Bronz woman, Millie

991
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:16,839
Speaker 1: Ford who's blah blah blah, the other characters, Millie Forward,

992
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:20,959
Speaker 1: who's Millie Forward, who's the singer Millie Ford, et cetera,

993
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:24,439
Speaker 1: et cetera. TikTok, the whole thing. What about Millie Forward,

994
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:27,280
Speaker 1: the private person? Yeah, it's so's time.

995
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:31,360
Speaker 2: For her, I know, and I like I can be

996
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:36,359
Speaker 2: very different in her, like not different, but I think

997
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 2: I am myself online, but like, obviously there's so much I.

998
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 1: Don't parts of your personality. That's the Yeah, that's it.

999
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think, I it's so weird because I

1000
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 2: do think about this and like I make sure that

1001
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 2: I like make space for me to feel really sad

1002
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,800
Speaker 2: if I need one day or like anxious, Like I

1003
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,840
Speaker 2: make space for it. And like it's taken me a

1004
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 2: long time to get here, but I've kind of reserved

1005
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 2: time for when I am on I guess for online,

1006
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 2: and I think that there's this struggle that I've faced with, like, oh,

1007
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 2: you kind of want to show the vulnerability too, but

1008
00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 2: I like to be able to think through things on

1009
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:27,240
Speaker 2: my own and not having the voices of the people

1010
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:28,880
Speaker 2: telling me to do this, that and the other. Like

1011
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,920
Speaker 2: I want to just work throughout myself. So I will

1012
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 2: go to my close friends and that's how I get

1013
00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 2: through that stuff. And they keep me grounded, they keep

1014
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 2: me as who I am. I love spending time with

1015
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:44,320
Speaker 2: my family, Like that's my personality just comes alive. It

1016
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 2: almost just reminds me who I am.

1017
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 1: Are you different?

1018
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 2: Then I'm not different, It's just that I can relax

1019
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 2: a little bit more, Like, oh, the camera's gone, Like

1020
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 2: I can just literally relax and.

1021
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 1: Slump on the catch, so a bit of you know,

1022
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 1: the cameras are going here. And when you before you

1023
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:03,279
Speaker 1: came in, I heard you yell at from outside of

1024
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 1: the studio. I'm so nervous. But when you get load that,

1025
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:10,520
Speaker 1: have you felt during this past hour that you've been

1026
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 1: You start off performing and you've less performed. Maybe do

1027
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:18,000
Speaker 1: you feel as though you got into that got out

1028
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 1: of character?

1029
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:20,800
Speaker 2: And I feel like at the start, I was definitely

1030
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 2: more on because I was like, I want to look

1031
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 2: peppy and I don't want to bring a bad vibe

1032
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 2: to it. And then now that I've relaxed into the conversation,

1033
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,839
Speaker 2: I'm happy to like kind of like slouch a little

1034
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:33,399
Speaker 2: bit more and like flick my hand.

1035
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:38,360
Speaker 1: You've changed on through the conversation. And so because what

1036
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,760
Speaker 1: I'm trying to work out is who's who's the real Millie?

1037
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 2: Like I don't know like me no, So I think

1038
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,320
Speaker 2: what I like to do this is this is my

1039
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 2: toxic trait. I like to I'm so so scared of

1040
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 2: being perceived as boring or like a bad vibe. This

1041
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 2: is the people pleas for me that I'm like I

1042
00:50:58,200 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 2: just want to make sure everyone knows I'm not a

1043
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 2: bad like I promise I'm fun like I'm so fun,

1044
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,800
Speaker 2: so like I'll show up and be like I'm fun like,

1045
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 2: I'm good energy, I'm good because I've probably had one

1046
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 2: too many people being like are you okay, like you're

1047
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 2: really off today, and I'm like, no, I'm fine. But

1048
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 2: it's like then you set up yourself to be always

1049
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:16,800
Speaker 2: like on. But yeah, I think like just nerves of

1050
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 2: being like, well, I don't know what I'm going to

1051
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 2: talk about on here, and I think like I do

1052
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 2: like to keep some things private, like that stuff. Obviously

1053
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 2: I can be like I don't want to talk about it,

1054
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 2: but you know, like I just it's people think that

1055
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 2: they know a version of me, but there's just so

1056
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 2: much more to me because I cannot express it all online,

1057
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:41,359
Speaker 2: like the way the places my imagination goes and where

1058
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 2: my mind wanderes during the day, and the intricacies of

1059
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:49,239
Speaker 2: my like friendships and relationships and everything. There's so much

1060
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 2: that no one could ever know who I am unless

1061
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:55,320
Speaker 2: they know me in real life.

1062
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 1: Let's all. It's just one second because I'm getting wound

1063
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 1: up over here. But you know how old are you now?

1064
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 1: Eight years? So? You know you're extraordinary popular, You're a

1065
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 1: lovely looking young lady. You know you're doing well in

1066
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:10,399
Speaker 1: your life. You've got you know, from all accounts, you're

1067
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 1: a nice person. But how do you go, like when

1068
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 1: you're so well known, how do you go into the

1069
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 1: dating world? Like? How that fucked you? Can you? Can

1070
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 1: you sort of expect? Well, how do you manage having

1071
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:24,440
Speaker 1: a relationship.

1072
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 2: I haven't had a relationship since I started put it that.

1073
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:32,399
Speaker 1: Way, since what years ago? Three years ago? Since COVID yeap,

1074
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 1: so I.

1075
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 2: My ex and I entered things around May last year,

1076
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 2: so I came up to like three years and this

1077
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 2: was just as everything was Sorry did I say last

1078
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 2: year three years ago? Twenty twenty one? It would have

1079
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:51,439
Speaker 2: been yeaph And this was just as things were taking

1080
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 2: off for me. We all went into lockdown, was gone

1081
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 2: through the breakup in Lockdown, but I was distracted by

1082
00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:58,840
Speaker 2: all of the content, so that was really exciting, and

1083
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 2: like no one was leaving good distraction, good distraction. No

1084
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:04,880
Speaker 2: one was leaving the house. And then like when I

1085
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:08,800
Speaker 2: left Lockdown, I was like, oh my god, like this

1086
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 2: is crazy, Like I was getting recognized.

1087
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 1: Everywhere I went everybody thinks I know you.

1088
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone thing said they know, like, oh my gosh,

1089
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,600
Speaker 2: I like my friend Millie, and I'm like, oh my god,

1090
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 2: love you. And I felt like I had to go

1091
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 2: on go out and be like all good and interestingly.

1092
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:28,440
Speaker 2: So since then haven't had a relationship. I've definitely dated

1093
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 2: a few people, but like nothing serious, Like it's so crazy,

1094
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 2: how much harder. Everyone's like, oh my gosh, I'm sure

1095
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 2: you have like so many people, like because you've got

1096
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, it's the opposite. Like I find that

1097
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 2: it's like there's less options, not only less options, there's

1098
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 2: less interest because everyone's thinking that. Like everyone's like, oh,

1099
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,719
Speaker 2: you've got access to like hundreds of thousands of people, surely,

1100
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, I genuinely don't not to mention my audiences

1101
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 2: mostly women or gay men, so like that's not it's

1102
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 2: really hard. And like I was on dating apps for

1103
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 2: a while and I'm not on them anymore. So they

1104
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:14,319
Speaker 2: work for you, so they were fine, Like I think

1105
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 2: I always wondered, like, going in, you know, does this

1106
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 2: person know who I am? Like you don't really know

1107
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:25,960
Speaker 2: straight up, And everyone, of course is like no, has

1108
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:27,879
Speaker 2: no idea like you don't know if that's the truth

1109
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:29,719
Speaker 2: or if they've seen maybe a video like I'm just

1110
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:32,719
Speaker 2: kind of like okay, like start from scratch, so you

1111
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:34,920
Speaker 2: kind of just go and assuming that, like you're two

1112
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:38,759
Speaker 2: regular people that don't know anything about each other. But

1113
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 2: I think that always sticks in my head is like

1114
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:47,320
Speaker 2: what is this person's intentions? Like are they trying to

1115
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:49,400
Speaker 2: get a little bit of clout like or are they

1116
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 2: do they like Millie? Like do they like me? And

1117
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 2: I always find it really interesting because then you know

1118
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:00,759
Speaker 2: the classic two to three month like when you're kind

1119
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 2: of starting to realize if it's going to happen or not.

1120
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 2: I actually like always look back and realize like, oh,

1121
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:10,279
Speaker 2: I don't know if this person actually really got to

1122
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 2: know me like Millie Ford, Like does this person like

1123
00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 2: MILLI like the person like the idea of being with

1124
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:22,240
Speaker 2: Milli or do that actually like me? And I always

1125
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 2: come to this weird crossroads of like I don't feel

1126
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 2: like they actually.

1127
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,800
Speaker 1: Tried to get to know me, Like as do you

1128
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:30,520
Speaker 1: get to do you let them get to know you?

1129
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:34,200
Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm like ask me anything like open book,

1130
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 2: but apart from asking like just being you like just yeah, oh, yeah,

1131
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 2: I'm so much dang.

1132
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 1: Around, you know, you know, like, yeah, because because I

1133
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 1: know people who have ADHD, and they can be a

1134
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 1: bit overwhelming, the speed at which they speak, talk, the

1135
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 1: spirit of which they think. I actually generally find people

1136
00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:57,439
Speaker 1: who who have ADHD a lot of them have quite

1137
00:55:57,440 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 1: a high form of intelligence. They're very smart. They their

1138
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:01,840
Speaker 1: latch on things all the time. They might have a

1139
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 1: bit of an issue about staying on staying on theme,

1140
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 1: but nonetheless they have this massive ability to flip from

1141
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 1: idea to idea at a speed which most people don't have,

1142
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,800
Speaker 1: and most people can't keep up with it. Yeah, okay,

1143
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 1: they and they can get upset and can frustrated with you.

1144
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:24,319
Speaker 1: Did you find that you had a bit of overwhelming,

1145
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:27,320
Speaker 1: that overwhelming effect on people.

1146
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 2: I found the opposite. I found that guys would be like,

1147
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 2: it's you're so easy to date because you just don't

1148
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:36,759
Speaker 2: shut up, Like I don't have to bring anything. They

1149
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:39,800
Speaker 2: literally said that to me, and I'm just saying, yeah, literally,

1150
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:42,320
Speaker 2: they're like, it's great, like you just like talk. But

1151
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,320
Speaker 2: in saying that, I actually do think that's accurate. Like

1152
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:47,719
Speaker 2: I'm a very curious person and obviously I want to

1153
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:49,520
Speaker 2: know who I'm dating, so I'll ask questions. I'm like,

1154
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:51,040
Speaker 2: who is this? Like who about?

1155
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:54,160
Speaker 1: Yeah? I asked the questions everywhere you should you should? Yeah.

1156
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:57,320
Speaker 2: But I'm also very good at talking about things and

1157
00:56:57,520 --> 00:57:02,320
Speaker 2: like like adding bits to the conversation. I find guys

1158
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 2: just generally, not even just me, like I know my

1159
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:08,800
Speaker 2: friends will being like this, aren't as good at asking questions,

1160
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:12,319
Speaker 2: like they don't they. I think guys like to get

1161
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,880
Speaker 2: to know you through doing so like activities and like

1162
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:19,000
Speaker 2: finding things out like yeah, I didn't realize you were coordinated,

1163
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:20,800
Speaker 2: Like wait, you can swing it like a golf club.

1164
00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, I played softball all my life And

1165
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,360
Speaker 2: they're like, oh, you play softball, And then that starts

1166
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 2: the conversation. Rather than being like like, oh, you know,

1167
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 2: what do you do? How do you what sports do

1168
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 2: you like? Or like how do you work like to

1169
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 2: work out, girls will ask more directly to the point,

1170
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,920
Speaker 2: and so it takes a little bit longer to kind

1171
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:41,160
Speaker 2: of get to know the guy I found. But also

1172
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 2: I think I have felt like, as you say, I'm

1173
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:49,360
Speaker 2: a bit chaotic and like you know, my mind is everywhere.

1174
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:55,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm unashamedly weird and like me as a person,

1175
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 2: like I am in every sense of the word. I

1176
00:57:58,120 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 2: think people will be like, oh my god, I'm so weird.

1177
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 2: But it's like, like genuinely like the things that I

1178
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 2: I don't know, like the humor and what I'm interested

1179
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 2: in talking about. I'm curious. I like to kind of

1180
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:12,960
Speaker 2: nitpick it at things and delve deeper. I've found a

1181
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 2: lot of the guys I've dated have been more so

1182
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:20,280
Speaker 2: not surface level, just like they have been as interested

1183
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 2: in doing that, and so I think that that didn't

1184
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 2: click as well, Like I would love to find someone

1185
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 2: that I can just chat to about that sort of

1186
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 2: stuff and like have good conversations with, and like, doesn't

1187
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 2: I can just be myself with I say to my

1188
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 2: family all the time, I was like, I just need

1189
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 2: to find a guy that I could be so weird with,

1190
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 2: Like I just want to be weird and stupid and silly,

1191
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:44,560
Speaker 2: and like that is what I'm looking for. And I

1192
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 2: think that's people always think like, yeah, I'm weird, I

1193
00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:49,480
Speaker 2: could be weird. They might take a bit of time

1194
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 2: to open up. That's fine, but it hasn't always like clicked.

1195
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:54,680
Speaker 1: I haven't like clicked with them, So have you given

1196
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: up on it for a while, I mean, is the

1197
00:58:56,400 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 1: thing to work on.

1198
00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, I've honestly just I've Yeah, I've just I'm

1199
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 2: in a place where I am like I've deleted the apps,

1200
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:06,680
Speaker 2: like I'm just not on it. I'm not looking for it.

1201
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:10,600
Speaker 2: I've I do kind of think, well, if I'm going

1202
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 2: to be on my own for the rest of my life,

1203
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 2: like I'm better make it a good one, no doubt it. Like, well,

1204
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 2: we'll see. I don't know, Like all my friends are

1205
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 2: basically dating. I think I'm the last one. But I'm

1206
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:24,160
Speaker 2: also just like not looking for it, so like I'm

1207
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 2: not necessarily hunting. That's right around. And I think if

1208
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 2: I was more intentional about it, then like I would

1209
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:35,360
Speaker 2: make situations happen for myself, but I am actually not whenever,

1210
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:39,000
Speaker 2: And this is the obsessive thing as well, Like when

1211
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 2: I have a crush on a guy, like I crush

1212
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:44,760
Speaker 2: so hard, like I get distracted, and I'm like, it's

1213
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 2: actually better for everyone and me if I don't have

1214
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:48,720
Speaker 2: a crush or if I'm not talking to a guy,

1215
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:49,880
Speaker 2: because then I can focus on.

1216
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:52,400
Speaker 1: My work and just focus on That makes sense to

1217
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 1: me after having spoken to you. Yeah, because I can't

1218
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:58,080
Speaker 1: imagine if you you're you're either in or all in

1219
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 1: or not in at all, in which ca if you're

1220
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 1: all in, especially somewhere, that it will distract you from

1221
01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 1: your main game. Literally now is your career? Is Millie

1222
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:10,240
Speaker 1: for the actress, Millie for the singer MILLI four? By

1223
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:11,280
Speaker 1: the way, you're going to do a podcast?

1224
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:12,120
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1225
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,440
Speaker 1: Have you got one coming up? So I do? Have

1226
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 1: you actually named it? What's going on?

1227
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 2: I have named it?

1228
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 1: Can we talk about it?

1229
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's talk about it. I've only talked about it

1230
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 2: to my family friends.

1231
01:00:20,840 --> 01:00:22,560
Speaker 1: You can be first, please please please please?

1232
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 2: Okay, So I again with the PA stuff. I was like,

1233
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 2: guy's been doing a podcasting podcast. I was like, where

1234
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 2: is this podcast?

1235
01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:28,880
Speaker 1: Millie?

1236
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 2: I'm like sorry, So I decided. So basically, the reason

1237
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:34,760
Speaker 2: it took me so long was because I was trying

1238
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,600
Speaker 2: to find the right co host for it, and then

1239
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 2: I decided that I'm actually just going to do it

1240
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 2: on my own. Yeah, and it means, like I think,

1241
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 2: a few people when I told them, was like, oh,

1242
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:48,160
Speaker 2: you're just you talking for forty five minutes, I'm like, what, Like, well,

1243
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:51,920
Speaker 2: like that's hard, Like I do that any every day anyway,

1244
01:00:52,760 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 2: I may as well record it. But no, beyond that,

1245
01:00:56,240 --> 01:01:00,440
Speaker 2: I think my main thing is like my vailable abilities

1246
01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:03,360
Speaker 2: have been so different to people's, and I don't want

1247
01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:05,439
Speaker 2: any excuses like, oh, we can't do this time, can't

1248
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:06,600
Speaker 2: find the time. Like I want to be able to

1249
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 2: record like instantly, like now, like I want to go

1250
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:12,920
Speaker 2: and record, and I think I have so many ideas

1251
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:15,760
Speaker 2: that I can come, come, bring to the table. But

1252
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:17,760
Speaker 2: basically it's going.

1253
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:20,280
Speaker 1: To be called miss the Memo, miss the Memo.

1254
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 2: Missed the Memo. The reason that it's called miss the

1255
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:27,320
Speaker 2: Memo is because which sounds like a random name. But

1256
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:32,439
Speaker 2: first of all, I live my life in a way

1257
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:34,960
Speaker 2: that feels like I miss the memo along the way

1258
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 2: that everybody else got yeah, I missed the memo, Like

1259
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 2: how is everyone functioning like I'm not, I don't get it.

1260
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:43,800
Speaker 2: I think that's very relatable for a lot of people too,

1261
01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:45,360
Speaker 2: like we've all kind of just like well, just like

1262
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 2: getting through it. Also, the way the style of the

1263
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 2: podcast is so I'm a classic for sending really long

1264
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 2: voice memos to my friends, to the point where one

1265
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 2: of my friends has like a two minute capacity on

1266
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:01,520
Speaker 2: my voice memo. She's like, you can't do more than

1267
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:04,439
Speaker 2: two minutes, so I'll like do like one fifty five

1268
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 2: and then I'll send like another one for a minute

1269
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 2: and she's like, I know what you're doing, and I

1270
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:09,720
Speaker 2: was like no, like I just had more to say.

1271
01:02:10,240 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 2: So they'll be like, oh my god, you sent me

1272
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 2: like a whole podcast episode, Millie, and then that's kind

1273
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:16,240
Speaker 2: of where it came from. I was like, oh my gosh, wait,

1274
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:19,000
Speaker 2: this actually does sound like a voice memo from me,

1275
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 2: so it's very much that. And then also having my

1276
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 2: listeners send in like anything, questions, whatever through voice memo

1277
01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:31,560
Speaker 2: just makes sense. So I think it's just about the

1278
01:02:31,640 --> 01:02:36,440
Speaker 2: fact that I'm just chaos as it is. I'm always chaos, Yeah, chaos.

1279
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 2: I was thinking about something to do with that. There's

1280
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:41,400
Speaker 2: another podcast that has that in the nailough, But it's

1281
01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 2: just going to be so I will definitely have guests

1282
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:46,800
Speaker 2: on as well, but I do want it to be

1283
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:50,160
Speaker 2: a place where it's me just like talking about my life,

1284
01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:52,520
Speaker 2: like honestly and what's going on. I've got so many

1285
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:56,240
Speaker 2: different things going on, but also like I'm not it's

1286
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 2: a place to connect with my listeners as well, like

1287
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 2: I'm not able to really do that on TikTok as

1288
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:03,920
Speaker 2: much because it's more the characters and the skits, and

1289
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:06,240
Speaker 2: then Instagram's also a bit different, so it's like, Okay,

1290
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 2: this is a place that if you want to like

1291
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 2: come and get updated, come and listen. And I'm actually

1292
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:15,240
Speaker 2: going to be recording at home, so I'm in the

1293
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:16,280
Speaker 2: middle of setting up.

1294
01:03:16,520 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 1: A little studio, my studio area.

1295
01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:21,440
Speaker 2: You're gonna have to edit it, well, this is this

1296
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:24,240
Speaker 2: is what I wanted the PA to do. Because I

1297
01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:26,600
Speaker 2: was trying to edit. I did a draft and that

1298
01:03:26,760 --> 01:03:29,040
Speaker 2: was where I was like, why do I sound so

1299
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:31,720
Speaker 2: like interviewe Like this is so gross? I was like,

1300
01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 2: that is not what I wanted to sound like. I

1301
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:35,360
Speaker 2: want it to sound like you're going on a walk

1302
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:37,800
Speaker 2: with your friend and you're listening to their voice member that.

1303
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:38,919
Speaker 1: You usual what a podcast about.

1304
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:41,840
Speaker 2: Literally, it shouldn't be like and it's not going to

1305
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:44,520
Speaker 2: be all like like one day hopefully it's more produced,

1306
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:46,400
Speaker 2: but it's not going to be all like what I

1307
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 2: do best right is like lo fi, like very kind

1308
01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:55,000
Speaker 2: of easy listening. Like, it's not going to be at

1309
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:59,640
Speaker 2: first the most expensive lavish like set up polish. Yeah,

1310
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:04,120
Speaker 2: it's just going to be me talking and chatting through.

1311
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:07,320
Speaker 2: I've got a few segment ideas and yeah, like I'm

1312
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:08,320
Speaker 2: excited when you're.

1313
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:10,560
Speaker 1: Looking at doing this, when are you looking at putting

1314
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:10,840
Speaker 1: it out?

1315
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:15,720
Speaker 2: So I would say within the next two weeks probably,

1316
01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 2: I'm a very last minute producer.

1317
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:19,960
Speaker 1: What the help I know?

1318
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:23,400
Speaker 2: And I know that sounds so crazy, which it is,

1319
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:28,400
Speaker 2: But basically I've got the area, Like what I do

1320
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:30,320
Speaker 2: this all the time. I like, I'm so low, just

1321
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:32,800
Speaker 2: do it. I literally just buy the mics on Amazon,

1322
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:36,440
Speaker 2: by the lights on Amazon, the video. The camera. That's

1323
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:38,040
Speaker 2: the one thing I need to work out because I've

1324
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 2: got a camera already, but I just don't know the

1325
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 2: battery space.

1326
01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:43,880
Speaker 1: That's the boys, because we know that stuff.

1327
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 2: I'm very like, Okay, I've got I've got energy. Let's

1328
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:49,400
Speaker 2: do it right now. And like it all comes together

1329
01:04:49,600 --> 01:04:52,160
Speaker 2: like in like a day. It's crazy, Like that's just

1330
01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:54,560
Speaker 2: how I work. I can just I just do it instantly.

1331
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:57,640
Speaker 1: Well, I'm actually happy to lend you the boys. Okay,

1332
01:04:57,680 --> 01:05:02,800
Speaker 1: the first one amazing, just come they'll come over. We'll

1333
01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:04,400
Speaker 1: give it to the footage out of a poet for us,

1334
01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:05,920
Speaker 1: so we will throw up somewhere and I'll put on

1335
01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:08,680
Speaker 1: my Instagram or something, and but will only the boys too.

1336
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 1: But you can certainly get any consultation from because they've

1337
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:13,640
Speaker 1: helped we've helped up other people before podcasts, but on cameras,

1338
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:15,640
Speaker 1: lighting all that sort of stuff. Let them come and

1339
01:05:15,720 --> 01:05:18,120
Speaker 1: check out it out. Just say you feel comfortable and

1340
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:19,560
Speaker 1: if you need them to help you, just talk to

1341
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:23,200
Speaker 1: them about it. But I'm serious because because I actually

1342
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:26,000
Speaker 1: think this is something I'd like to support in a

1343
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:29,880
Speaker 1: qualitative way. Just help me out a little bit. And

1344
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:32,880
Speaker 1: I'm not and that way I can get out of

1345
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:35,280
Speaker 1: because he keeps winding me up over here, keeps you stop,

1346
01:05:35,320 --> 01:05:37,800
Speaker 1: stop stop, and Millie's going to go forever. But I

1347
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:40,560
Speaker 1: want to say MILLI no, I want to say, honestly,

1348
01:05:40,680 --> 01:05:42,560
Speaker 1: thanks very much for coming on the show. Just straight

1349
01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:47,160
Speaker 1: to it. And I got one I got I got

1350
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:49,560
Speaker 1: like one very small sentence for you just to close.

1351
01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:54,200
Speaker 1: Never ever worry you have a gift. Just remember it.

1352
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:56,160
Speaker 1: You've got a gift and go with it.

1353
01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:58,400
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you, and maybe you can come on my

1354
01:05:58,480 --> 01:05:59,840
Speaker 2: podcast if.

1355
01:05:59,760 --> 01:06:02,400
Speaker 1: You gonna come out, come on really forward. Thanks for Mark.

1356
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:04,000
Speaker 2: Oh, this has been awesome