WEBVTT - Move Over Mya, This is a Case of Our Exes

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to First things First, I'm pro bloke. A pronounce

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<v Speaker 1>are she and her.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Mattie meals. My pronouns are he and him. And

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<v Speaker 2>before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge the custodians

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<v Speaker 2>of the land on which we record. And for me

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<v Speaker 2>that's the gattigol people of the urination and for me it's.

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<v Speaker 3>The roundery people of the cooler nation.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's get into it. How's your weekend?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, Friday night, Oh my god, Friday night was my

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<v Speaker 1>Howard Fine, Fine and Dine night, which is where all

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<v Speaker 1>of our alumni, cohort staff, students, other actors get together

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<v Speaker 1>and we just have a little pizza night and drinks.

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<v Speaker 3>But I performed in front of my class.

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<v Speaker 1>What did you do in front of like one hundred people?

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<v Speaker 1>Seeing I sang? And I it was open mic night

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<v Speaker 1>and everyone was performing or doing like an open mic,

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<v Speaker 1>either stand up comedy, poetry or performance so singing or

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<v Speaker 1>piano or whatever. Anyways, it kind of was getting to

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<v Speaker 1>a point where everyone was.

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<v Speaker 3>Just like du Brook were named her? Were named her?

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<v Speaker 1>And then I just started to said and said, I

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<v Speaker 1>got a little bit sentimental, you know, like what I've

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<v Speaker 1>learned through this course is that the power of voice

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<v Speaker 1>and owning your truth and being in your truth, and

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<v Speaker 1>you know, being in your voice is really important, and

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<v Speaker 1>I've learned that so much of that comes from healing

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<v Speaker 1>you in a child. And I just can't believe I'm

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<v Speaker 1>actually getting up here and performing because I've never performed

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<v Speaker 1>before and this is going to be so healing. And

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<v Speaker 1>I could not tell you the euphoric feeling of my

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<v Speaker 1>younger Brook, like the younger Brook in her like I

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<v Speaker 1>have never experienced that much joy in my life, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm getting goosebumps now because I could hear a pin

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<v Speaker 1>drop in the sense like everyone was like, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>we're so excited to hear. But then everyone was singing,

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<v Speaker 1>like I know it probably seems so small, but for me,

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<v Speaker 1>like that was a huge moment in my life because

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<v Speaker 1>if I can't perform in front of like my cohort

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<v Speaker 1>of acting students, I can't perform on a national, global level,

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<v Speaker 1>like I'm not ready. So I was like, well, this

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<v Speaker 1>is my chance to like do it, and even if

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<v Speaker 1>it's just so small of like playing one song like

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<v Speaker 1>can't help falling in love with you my Elvis Presley and.

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<v Speaker 2>I knew it was that song song.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, of course I posted it. Do you not see

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<v Speaker 1>my video? And everyone was like, I I'm getting messages

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<v Speaker 1>now from people that were there, and they're like, you

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<v Speaker 1>had the whole room like, and I'm not like talking

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<v Speaker 1>myself up. I'm not gonna be like I was a

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<v Speaker 1>big shot.

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<v Speaker 3>Look at me.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like, obviously I've got a natural talent in

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<v Speaker 1>holding a space or holding a room like that. And

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't realize it until I watched those videos back

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<v Speaker 1>where the room is silent, there is not a thing,

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<v Speaker 1>and then all of a sudden, everyone is singing with me.

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<v Speaker 3>Who doesn't that Like, isn't that crazy? Sorry? Insane?

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<v Speaker 2>Like I'm sort the alignment of the song. I can't

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<v Speaker 2>help falling in love, like if that isn't you to tea?

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<v Speaker 2>And like you couldn't have chosen a more perfect song.

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<v Speaker 1>Well I dedicated it to my dad, but in my

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<v Speaker 1>head I was like, can't help but forgetting you.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh.

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<v Speaker 3>But it was funny. It was funny.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it was such a great yeah, great experience. It

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<v Speaker 1>was crazy. So that was my weekend, just living in

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<v Speaker 1>that euphoricness of my first time performance in front of anyone.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm a big shot. Now look at me.

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<v Speaker 2>Go.

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<v Speaker 3>How was your weekend? Anyways?

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<v Speaker 2>My weekend was good. I spent the week catching up

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<v Speaker 2>with friends. I have been pretty much like isolating myself,

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<v Speaker 2>not really isolating myself, but keeping to myself, keeping my

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<v Speaker 2>head down and just focusing on work lately. But this

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<v Speaker 2>weekend I went and caught up with some friends. Saturday morning,

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<v Speaker 2>I caught up with jes Melboy and we had branch

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<v Speaker 2>and then we went to a queer exhibition together which

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<v Speaker 2>was called Qutopia, and it's in Surrey Hills. So we

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<v Speaker 2>went and like learned a lot. Actually we were like

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<v Speaker 2>immersed in queer culture and history and also the dark

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<v Speaker 2>side of you know, the challenges and police brutality. And

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<v Speaker 2>it was beautiful. We spent the morning like at this exhibition.

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<v Speaker 2>It's called Qutopia. It's in the old police station at

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<v Speaker 2>Taylor Square in Surrey Hill, so it is and it's

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<v Speaker 2>and it's within the cell blocks. It's like reclaiming that

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<v Speaker 2>space where a lot of trauma happened people and part

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<v Speaker 2>of people who are part of the LGBT QUI A

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<v Speaker 2>plus community. So that was like a really beautiful morning.

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<v Speaker 2>So like inspiring to hear stories of friends, even your

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<v Speaker 2>story just now, Like there's so many incredible things that

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<v Speaker 2>MOB are doing, you know, and I get to like

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<v Speaker 2>just connect with you MOB, and I'm doing, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>an incredible project at the moment myself. So I'm feeling

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<v Speaker 2>very motivated, very inspired. Also just light. You know, I've

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<v Speaker 2>obviously like haven't been drinking or going out, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm feeling like the benefits of that starting to pay off, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>which is awesome. So I'm feeling good. I'm feeling like

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<v Speaker 2>super excited. I also feel like I'm at a point

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<v Speaker 2>in my life now where I'm so far from my

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<v Speaker 2>past in terms of like my past relationship and the

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<v Speaker 2>experiences that I are having, Like last year, I feel

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<v Speaker 2>like a brand new person. I don't know. I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to ask you you were going to share a story

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<v Speaker 2>about an ex coming back into your life.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually there's been. It's been such a weird because this

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<v Speaker 1>is how fast my life happens, you know. When I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just like so focused on like work and things, I

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<v Speaker 1>find that like it's funny, like I can't be penetrated

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<v Speaker 1>and not that way, Like no, no, no.

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<v Speaker 2>Like okay, we're going down. We're going down that.

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<v Speaker 1>I have my like my box around me and my

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<v Speaker 1>walls cannot be infiltrated.

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<v Speaker 2>Everything I know, I know talking about penetration boxes.

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<v Speaker 1>And penetration.

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<v Speaker 3>Violation.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I mean, I mean like I can't be interrupted.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe I feel like because I've been in such a

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<v Speaker 1>zone of school work project basis, you know, my dating

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<v Speaker 1>life is really kind of dropped off. But it's so

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<v Speaker 1>funny because like this sort of new establishment is what

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<v Speaker 1>I would call it, is just like you know, it's

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<v Speaker 1>like taking day by day. We've gone on like five dates.

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<v Speaker 1>It's super casual, it's super chill. There's not really anything

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<v Speaker 1>coming up until well no, no, like this is a

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<v Speaker 1>thing like no no swear like I'm not.

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<v Speaker 3>I get so angry when you do that.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, the reason I'm doing it is because I've heard

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<v Speaker 2>that so.

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<v Speaker 3>Many things are casual.

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<v Speaker 2>You know that casual, But then it goes it got

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<v Speaker 2>moves from casual to serious really quickly.

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<v Speaker 3>On my end.

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<v Speaker 2>Not there, That's what I'm saying on your end.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm like, when have mine ever been serious?

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<v Speaker 2>Like seriously, Well, you've convinced me every single one of

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<v Speaker 2>them is serious. I'm telling you you shouldn't believe me that.

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<v Speaker 3>Like you should. You should have believed me.

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<v Speaker 2>I just love that I'm on this roller coaster with you.

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<v Speaker 3>That's why I'm like roller coaster babe, get on.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm here with it. I'm here and I'm on it,

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<v Speaker 2>and I love the stories.

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<v Speaker 1>But I share everything with you solely you as well,

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<v Speaker 1>like no, no friend gets this inside as well, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not. My friends don't even know that I'm seeing

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<v Speaker 1>anyone because I haven't told them. I'm telling the podcast

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<v Speaker 1>because you guys are like my family.

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<v Speaker 3>You shouldn't judge me, then.

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<v Speaker 2>Mother, There is no judgment. That is what I There

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<v Speaker 2>is nothing. There is no judgment but judgment, no judgment,

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<v Speaker 2>I promise. But what I'm saying is that I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to predict in a couple of days.

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<v Speaker 3>And I know I hate that I'm that friend that's

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<v Speaker 3>like prett yeah, predictable.

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<v Speaker 1>Literally, I hate that I'm the bitch and I'm like, fuck,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be here anymore.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm done, well fucking done.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I'm just a girl.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just a girl.

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<v Speaker 2>Your next T shirt should say just keep it casual,

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<v Speaker 2>just keep it casual, or like just forbidden. No that's

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<v Speaker 2>your next book.

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<v Speaker 1>Actual And I think every the one. So everyone you

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<v Speaker 1>meet is the one because it teaches you one thing

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<v Speaker 1>or something. So I think every person you meet everyone

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<v Speaker 1>is the one because they other teach you how to

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<v Speaker 1>be loved. The other teach you something about yourself. They

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<v Speaker 1>teach you what you don't want. So I'm just out

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<v Speaker 1>here just doing research, bub going research.

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<v Speaker 2>You know. I'm back this strategy. I back at one

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<v Speaker 2>hundred percent in a life because I think I think

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<v Speaker 2>you're absolutely spot on when it comes to learning things

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<v Speaker 2>from different people, and now you have a plethora of experience.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm looking one man stand over here, and all I've

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<v Speaker 2>learned is a little bit doing it.

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<v Speaker 3>For the plot.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah you are, I'm doing it for the plot, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. And you know this story is cliffhanger

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<v Speaker 2>after cliffhanger, and I'm fucking here. I'm here every time.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, what's gonna happen? What is going to happen?

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<v Speaker 2>And then the ad break comes and you're like, na,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm done.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah next.

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<v Speaker 1>I did a whole big therapy session this morning on friendships,

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<v Speaker 1>and I realized I don't have friends that literally will

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<v Speaker 1>tell me how it is I thought.

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<v Speaker 2>I did, but I'm getting there.

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<v Speaker 3>But I can tell me fucking.

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<v Speaker 1>Be honest with me and say it ain't it sis, Well.

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<v Speaker 2>I just try. I just tried. I just fucking tried it.

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<v Speaker 2>All I said was until when? And then you were like,

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<v Speaker 2>so do you think that your friends want to tell

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<v Speaker 2>you the fucking.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm I'm not. I'm fucking reasonable as.

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<v Speaker 2>Ship you are. I agree with you. I know you,

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<v Speaker 2>and I know like I feel like I know your

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<v Speaker 2>heart to an extent that you will see the good

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<v Speaker 2>in someone and then you will automatically move from casual

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<v Speaker 2>to looking at a long term plan. And then when

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<v Speaker 2>you make that shift focus you you fall really really hard,

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<v Speaker 2>really fast, really quickly.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but then I fall out of it very quickly.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>So I know this is my this is what it's cooled. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's it's a cycle. It's a pattern that I'm repeating.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think it's a roller coaster. I think it's

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<v Speaker 3>like it's like emotions.

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<v Speaker 2>It might be, well, no, it is.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm a very highly emotional person.

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<v Speaker 1>You know this, Yeah, but like yeah, and then when

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<v Speaker 1>I reflect and I look back on all those relationships

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<v Speaker 1>and my exes and I'm.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, god, girl, it wasn't it. What were you thinking?

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<v Speaker 1>But I just wish my friends told me sinner like

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<v Speaker 1>it ain't it.

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<v Speaker 2>But then I feel like if you figure it out,

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<v Speaker 2>if your friends told you that, it would feel like

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<v Speaker 2>they were shutting down any opportunity of love.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I get that, but then it's like you would

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<v Speaker 1>prevent me from getting hurt a lot more quicker and faster,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like yeah, like I think sometimes yeah, like

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<v Speaker 1>you get your rose colored glasses on. Yeah, but I

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<v Speaker 1>also am so again, like so hopeful with them, like no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll give people benefit doubt and I'll I'll work on

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<v Speaker 1>it and blah blah blah.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, do you think that you just haven't met anyone

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<v Speaker 2>that is worth the fight?

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<v Speaker 1>This is what I'm figuring out. They won't fight for

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<v Speaker 1>me for the way that I would fight for them.

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<v Speaker 1>And also I haven't met someone who has the whole

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<v Speaker 1>package that just like fucking lights me up.

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<v Speaker 3>That's like boom.

0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:14.160
<v Speaker 2>What are some things that would inspire you? Or like

0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:16.720
<v Speaker 2>what is like a person someone who motivates me?

0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:19.480
<v Speaker 1>A person like they're doing so good that I want

0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:21.640
<v Speaker 1>to do good with them, Like it's always me that's

0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:22.760
<v Speaker 1>inspiring to them.

0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:25.199
<v Speaker 3>Like when someone's like, oh, you're so inspiring, I'm like.

0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:25.280
<v Speaker 2>I.

0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:30.640
<v Speaker 1>Really I want someone who just like I don't know,

0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:32.680
<v Speaker 1>wants to walk the same path as me.

0:12:32.840 --> 0:12:33.840
<v Speaker 3>And it's not they're not.

0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:37.839
<v Speaker 1>It's an equal worship if anything. Yeah, I just feel

0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:40.160
<v Speaker 1>like I either get really worshiped and I get put

0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.640
<v Speaker 1>on this pedestal where it gives me the ick because

0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:44.560
<v Speaker 1>it's like then I have to sort of feel like

0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:46.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm living up to that, so I can't like what

0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:48.360
<v Speaker 1>if I want to rot in bed one day?

0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:50.520
<v Speaker 3>Like, does that mean I'm unmotivated?

0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:52.640
<v Speaker 2>You know what? Do you ever disclose that in the

0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.280
<v Speaker 2>beginning when someone says that to you, like you're so inspiring,

0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:56.920
<v Speaker 2>do you ever say, well, you're going to figure out that,

0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:58.040
<v Speaker 2>you know what, I'm just normal.

0:12:58.080 --> 0:12:58.679
<v Speaker 3>I'm just human.

0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:02.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm so human and I'm normal and I'm and

0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:06.079
<v Speaker 1>I think that's like, let's talk about men in per

0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:09.400
<v Speaker 1>se because obviously there's two different relationships that I experience.

0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:12.200
<v Speaker 1>With men, I don't know why I go to the

0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.640
<v Speaker 1>fix it like I need my mummy.

0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:16.880
<v Speaker 2>Insecure men, okay.

0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:19.920
<v Speaker 1>And then with women I go probably the same, but

0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:24.280
<v Speaker 1>like but it's like I then have to then adhere

0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:28.880
<v Speaker 1>to a more masculine like providing role with a woman,

0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:31.880
<v Speaker 1>and then when I'm I'm with a man, it's hard

0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.839
<v Speaker 1>to let that go. But then I try to be

0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:36.839
<v Speaker 1>my feminine error. But I don't feel like I can

0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:39.920
<v Speaker 1>be when I'm in my feminine error, Like that's when

0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:43.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm like in love and I'm happy and I'm creative

0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:43.760
<v Speaker 1>and I'm.

0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:45.400
<v Speaker 3>Who enjoying joy?

0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:48.600
<v Speaker 2>And give me an example, like was it the blonde guy,

0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:52.440
<v Speaker 2>the tall blonde guy, and we went, here's a chef. Yeah,

0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:53.440
<v Speaker 2>it's really hot.

0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:55.079
<v Speaker 3>Why did you This is.

0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:56.880
<v Speaker 1>The second time you brought him up. Yeah, he's still

0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:58.200
<v Speaker 1>in my life, but he's my friend.

0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:01.120
<v Speaker 2>There's something about you in that relationship that I saw

0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:02.880
<v Speaker 2>that was like you were in your feminine error.

0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:04.079
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, for sure.

0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:06.640
<v Speaker 1>And we saw each other for four weeks straight, every

0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:09.000
<v Speaker 1>single day and I didn't get the it until he

0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:10.359
<v Speaker 1>dropped those two words.

0:14:10.559 --> 0:14:12.040
<v Speaker 2>But do you think that's too quick.

0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:15.200
<v Speaker 1>Of Yeah, like something needs to happen with me where

0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:16.960
<v Speaker 1>it's like, okay, I can see it like a lifetime,

0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:19.280
<v Speaker 1>long term thing, like something.

0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:21.200
<v Speaker 2>Needs to You couldn't see a long term thing with him?

0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:25.400
<v Speaker 1>No, no, okay, But then I like my last X,

0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:29.840
<v Speaker 1>because there was such a bond and a like connection,

0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:32.640
<v Speaker 1>like the sex is amazing. So it's all a physicality

0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:36.200
<v Speaker 1>physicality thing, Like it's just like all needs to work

0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:39.640
<v Speaker 1>together in symbiosis, but it just doesn't for me. Like,

0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:42.440
<v Speaker 1>and yes, that's probably why I fucking filtered through them,

0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.720
<v Speaker 1>because I'm like, I can't see a lifelong thing with them.

0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:48.080
<v Speaker 1>They don't spark a thing with me. Okay, next, all,

0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:49.920
<v Speaker 1>you want to know something really interesting.

0:14:51.040 --> 0:14:54.560
<v Speaker 2>When I first met Denny, I didn't actually see a

0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:58.680
<v Speaker 2>long term relationship as a thing with him. I thought

0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:01.280
<v Speaker 2>that it was going to be a few months of dating.

0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:05.960
<v Speaker 2>I found him extremely attractive. I didn't really even contemplate

0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:09.000
<v Speaker 2>having a future with him. It actually took getting to

0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:11.640
<v Speaker 2>know and like having some real big issues in our

0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:15.160
<v Speaker 2>relationship and seeing where he put his focus to move

0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:17.960
<v Speaker 2>that dial. Because in the beginning it was very much

0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:20.600
<v Speaker 2>like a party boyfriend. It was like going out on

0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:24.080
<v Speaker 2>the weekend partying. And then we broke up for like

0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:27.840
<v Speaker 2>three months, and that actual separation was like a really

0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:30.760
<v Speaker 2>good thing for us in our relationship timeline, because it

0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:34.600
<v Speaker 2>was like when we got back together, we had conversations

0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:36.240
<v Speaker 2>about like the long term, and I could see that

0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:38.400
<v Speaker 2>he wanted the same things that I wanted. So it's

0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:42.440
<v Speaker 2>like about having conversations and initial conversations of like what

0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:44.720
<v Speaker 2>does your future look like? What is it that you want?

0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:47.400
<v Speaker 2>Do you have those conversations or is it that something

0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:52.000
<v Speaker 2>that you just hope to discover both both.

0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:53.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's happened for different people.

0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:57.600
<v Speaker 1>I just find like, if you're fighting over small things

0:15:57.640 --> 0:16:00.560
<v Speaker 1>within those couple of weeks or whatever, it's a huge

0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:03.280
<v Speaker 1>red flag for me. I'm like, no, Like, even if

0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.800
<v Speaker 1>the passion is there, it's like not too much.

0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:07.480
<v Speaker 2>And then I'm comunortable too quickly.

0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:11.320
<v Speaker 1>There's some previous relationships where I have moved too quickly,

0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:14.440
<v Speaker 1>and there's some relationships that I've moved very slowly, but

0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:15.240
<v Speaker 1>none of it.

0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:18.720
<v Speaker 3>There's the thing, there's no right or wrong way of dating. Like,

0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:21.080
<v Speaker 3>that's what I mean. That's why I get so frustrated.

0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:23.200
<v Speaker 1>I guess when you're like, oh, like next, I'm like,

0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:27.520
<v Speaker 1>but I've given it a spectrum of black ways, so

0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:28.480
<v Speaker 1>I don't.

0:16:28.280 --> 0:16:32.160
<v Speaker 2>Mean the next one. What I mean is like, I

0:16:32.200 --> 0:16:35.760
<v Speaker 2>think that you've had a lot of experience dating, what

0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:40.040
<v Speaker 2>are the common denominators within the relationships, had no, no, no,

0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:43.760
<v Speaker 2>not you. I'm talking about the experiences or the red

0:16:43.800 --> 0:16:47.200
<v Speaker 2>flags or the things that come up each time that

0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.040
<v Speaker 2>you need to see as something that you sort of

0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:51.320
<v Speaker 2>like dodge or get rid of in that person, you

0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:51.840
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean.

0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:55.000
<v Speaker 1>Like it's not the same thing every time. It's a

0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:58.680
<v Speaker 1>different reason for each different thing, but those things matter

0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:00.960
<v Speaker 1>to me, so it need to be like a whole

0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:03.920
<v Speaker 1>package for me. So like I don't want to take

0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:06.240
<v Speaker 1>care of someone. I don't want to be someone's mummy.

0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:09.000
<v Speaker 1>That's one thing that I've noticed across a few people

0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:11.280
<v Speaker 1>like no, no, no, no, I don't do that, ye,

0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.919
<v Speaker 1>Or it's a matter of like language and respect, like

0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:18.520
<v Speaker 1>using those types of derogatory words, you're not educated. Education

0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:20.560
<v Speaker 1>for me is a big thing, but fucking go and

0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:23.679
<v Speaker 1>educate yourself. So education is a big thing for me.

0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:27.080
<v Speaker 1>Respect is a big thing for me. I guess financial

0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:30.439
<v Speaker 1>like not having to worry about someone, Yeah exactly, Like

0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:33.200
<v Speaker 1>that's a big fucking thing for me totally. But I've

0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:35.800
<v Speaker 1>just not met that in someone like where it's like

0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:38.760
<v Speaker 1>yeah they do God, I know they tick a few boxes,

0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:41.560
<v Speaker 1>but they don't tick all of mine. And that's obviously

0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:43.960
<v Speaker 1>what it's got to and I'm like, okay, I moved

0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:47.320
<v Speaker 1>past it quickly in a sense to figure it out

0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:49.480
<v Speaker 1>if I can get over that and that can be

0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:52.880
<v Speaker 1>built and that can be worked on or can be fixed.

0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:54.600
<v Speaker 3>But it's like it's not up to fucking me to

0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:54.879
<v Speaker 3>do that.

0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:58.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm conflicted, yeah.

0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:00.520
<v Speaker 1>A little bit, because it's like, yes, I want this

0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:03.520
<v Speaker 1>relationship or like I have this idea of what I

0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:06.640
<v Speaker 1>would like it to be and I'm not living in fairyland.

0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:08.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm being realistic, like that's this is kind of what

0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:11.360
<v Speaker 1>I want as a relationship. But then the other part

0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:14.199
<v Speaker 1>of me is like, but I'm also like really fucking

0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:16.440
<v Speaker 1>content with being by myself and getting what I need

0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:20.479
<v Speaker 1>to get done and like moving towards that. And i

0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:23.720
<v Speaker 1>think the more time I spend by myself, the more

0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:25.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm moving away from that.

0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:27.040
<v Speaker 3>And I'm like oh no, no, no, no, like.

0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:29.320
<v Speaker 1>Because I don't want to be alone, like I want

0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:31.800
<v Speaker 1>to end up with a beautiful partner who wants to

0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:35.080
<v Speaker 1>build a life together. Because my brothers and sister you know,

0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:37.520
<v Speaker 1>sister in laws are all having children families, like I

0:18:37.560 --> 0:18:40.000
<v Speaker 1>don't want to miss out on that. So then I'm like, okay, no, no,

0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:41.800
<v Speaker 1>I still need to put myself out there. So then

0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:44.280
<v Speaker 1>I lean towards that and then I'm like, oh, well,

0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:46.359
<v Speaker 1>I get my heart broken and I give my all

0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:48.280
<v Speaker 1>to something and it didn't work, so I'm like, okay,

0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:50.879
<v Speaker 1>fuck back to this. So it is a scale constantly

0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:54.440
<v Speaker 1>that I'm getting pulled and pushed from, and I've realized

0:18:54.480 --> 0:18:57.160
<v Speaker 1>that and like, I'm doing all the right things. I'm

0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:00.600
<v Speaker 1>in therapy, I'm learning about how I do with lifelationships,

0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:06.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm experimenting, I'm learning, I'm being open. I'm trying to

0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:10.239
<v Speaker 1>stay open. But the more I put myself out there,

0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:12.040
<v Speaker 1>the more I get burnt, or the more I get

0:19:12.240 --> 0:19:18.639
<v Speaker 1>used and abused. It's like, you know, my worth at

0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:21.680
<v Speaker 1>some points is really high and then these moments happen

0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:22.960
<v Speaker 1>and it becomes really low.

0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:24.240
<v Speaker 3>And right now I.

0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:26.040
<v Speaker 1>Feel like my worth is up here, so I know

0:19:26.080 --> 0:19:28.880
<v Speaker 1>what I deserve and I'm on my little high horse

0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:31.800
<v Speaker 1>if you want to call it. Yeah, and I'm like, okay, well,

0:19:31.840 --> 0:19:34.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm now in this moment. I'm like, okay, I'm ready

0:19:34.160 --> 0:19:35.920
<v Speaker 1>to let someone in, and then I do and then

0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:38.399
<v Speaker 1>it just you know, it's a cycle that I'm just

0:19:38.440 --> 0:19:41.680
<v Speaker 1>like not not, haven't nailed yet.

0:19:42.080 --> 0:19:43.879
<v Speaker 2>Have you got any good friends who you see all

0:19:43.920 --> 0:19:47.000
<v Speaker 2>the qualities in, but there's no romantic spark there with

0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:50.160
<v Speaker 2>because I see that some people in when they find

0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:52.119
<v Speaker 2>their person, they say, oh, we were friends for a

0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:53.400
<v Speaker 2>long time before.

0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.960
<v Speaker 3>So I've done that. I've ticked all these boxes.

0:19:57.040 --> 0:19:59.800
<v Speaker 1>I could tell you now if you name it, I've

0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:03.280
<v Speaker 1>done yep. One thing I fucking know though, Like, is

0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:06.520
<v Speaker 1>that regardless of what the relationship has turned out to be,

0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:09.119
<v Speaker 1>Like I've always made sure that I'm respectful, it's a

0:20:09.200 --> 0:20:13.119
<v Speaker 1>mutual thing or it's like a discussion, you know. I

0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:15.760
<v Speaker 1>try to try not to end it in a toxic way.

0:20:16.080 --> 0:20:18.760
<v Speaker 1>And so I've been, you know, remained friends with most

0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:20.760
<v Speaker 1>of my exes and I don't even know if that

0:20:20.880 --> 0:20:23.199
<v Speaker 1>also plays into it as well. It's like, okay, do

0:20:23.280 --> 0:20:26.199
<v Speaker 1>I have because I'm friends with my exes, does that

0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:28.600
<v Speaker 1>mean I'm still you know, like the string theory, Like

0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:31.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm still attached to all these strings. So that's why

0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:34.159
<v Speaker 1>I'm not being able to like move on to have

0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:36.919
<v Speaker 1>my own string attached. You know, I don't get what

0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:39.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean, Like, if you've got all these threads and

0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:42.040
<v Speaker 1>can you're connected to all these people that you've once

0:20:42.119 --> 0:20:46.639
<v Speaker 1>had romantic or emotional attachment to Are you allowing yourself

0:20:46.640 --> 0:20:48.480
<v Speaker 1>to then be able to move on with someone else?

0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:50.639
<v Speaker 2>You know, I fucking want the best for you. I

0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:53.119
<v Speaker 2>want you to find like a miracle man or a

0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:55.560
<v Speaker 2>woman who just sweeps you off your feet and fucking

0:20:56.040 --> 0:20:56.760
<v Speaker 2>gives you everything.

0:20:57.440 --> 0:21:03.080
<v Speaker 3>Though, like this is I think, know, see everyone feels

0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:05.280
<v Speaker 3>sad for me. Don't feel sad for me. I'm just

0:21:05.359 --> 0:21:08.640
<v Speaker 3>like I'm fucking trying. It just seems like I'm.

0:21:08.480 --> 0:21:11.080
<v Speaker 1>A little bit fucking doomed in this sense. Like there

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:15.479
<v Speaker 1>are younger people that, like my friend's brother has just

0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:16.480
<v Speaker 1>like bought a house.

0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:17.520
<v Speaker 3>He's twenty three.

0:21:17.720 --> 0:21:19.600
<v Speaker 1>He bought a house and he's been with his girlfriend

0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:22.679
<v Speaker 1>for about, I don't know, a year and they just

0:21:22.840 --> 0:21:25.560
<v Speaker 1>move in together and they're just doing life. And I'm like,

0:21:26.000 --> 0:21:26.840
<v Speaker 1>they're twenty three.

0:21:27.240 --> 0:21:29.240
<v Speaker 3>How the fuck do they have that figured out? And

0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:30.080
<v Speaker 3>what's wrong with me?

0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:34.040
<v Speaker 2>Nothing is wrong with you. Different experience different.

0:21:33.840 --> 0:21:37.000
<v Speaker 1>I know, But it's like, is it my trauma? Is

0:21:37.040 --> 0:21:40.240
<v Speaker 1>it because I was a bachelorreat? Like, you know, is

0:21:40.280 --> 0:21:42.800
<v Speaker 1>it people like me for what I am rather than

0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:46.200
<v Speaker 1>who I am? It's like, I don't know, I don't

0:21:46.359 --> 0:21:50.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to do the best I can with what

0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:53.160
<v Speaker 1>I can, Like I'm fucking in therapy.

0:21:53.200 --> 0:21:54.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm figuring it out.

0:21:54.280 --> 0:21:56.639
<v Speaker 1>I don't have daddy issues, like I don't have a

0:21:56.680 --> 0:21:57.360
<v Speaker 1>beautiful dad.

0:21:57.400 --> 0:21:57.639
<v Speaker 2>I have.

0:21:58.320 --> 0:22:00.320
<v Speaker 3>I have beautiful relationships with that.

0:22:00.400 --> 0:22:03.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't feel like it interrupts my daily living.

0:22:03.800 --> 0:22:05.600
<v Speaker 3>It's just like I don't know.

0:22:08.240 --> 0:22:12.880
<v Speaker 2>A single sober single, Yeah, sober single Wednesday night.

0:22:12.920 --> 0:22:16.360
<v Speaker 3>If you guys want to come. If you're bisexual, lesbian, yeah.

0:22:16.280 --> 0:22:19.200
<v Speaker 2>I mean shout it out. But are you at those

0:22:19.200 --> 0:22:20.320
<v Speaker 2>events with one eye open?

0:22:20.480 --> 0:22:24.320
<v Speaker 3>Like, no, I'm working. I know this is a thing.

0:22:24.840 --> 0:22:26.960
<v Speaker 2>Maybe you should be on the on the other side.

0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:29.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, maybe I'm done with males. I need to go

0:22:29.640 --> 0:22:30.320
<v Speaker 1>back to females.

0:22:30.359 --> 0:22:34.240
<v Speaker 3>But then again, like I don't know, I don't know.

0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:39.639
<v Speaker 1>Three of my exes have all messaged in the last

0:22:39.920 --> 0:22:43.080
<v Speaker 1>month or so, and then all of a sudden goes yeah,

0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:44.600
<v Speaker 1>like I love you and I will always love you

0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:46.199
<v Speaker 1>and told me that he loves me, and I'm like,

0:22:46.720 --> 0:22:48.119
<v Speaker 1>you can't say that.

0:22:49.080 --> 0:22:51.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, this is a goodbye call.

0:22:52.240 --> 0:22:54.919
<v Speaker 1>And then another exs and reads, Oh, I read your

0:22:54.920 --> 0:22:56.240
<v Speaker 1>book and I thought it was wonderful. Thank you so

0:22:56.320 --> 0:22:58.400
<v Speaker 1>much for talking about a relationship so friendly blah blah

0:22:58.400 --> 0:22:58.919
<v Speaker 1>blah blah.

0:22:59.160 --> 0:23:01.600
<v Speaker 3>Just know that I'll always second one.

0:23:01.880 --> 0:23:03.960
<v Speaker 1>Then another one reaches out and it's like, oh, I'm

0:23:04.040 --> 0:23:07.040
<v Speaker 1>really sorry and I regret how we'd we ended things.

0:23:08.000 --> 0:23:11.400
<v Speaker 3>No, I love you, but why closure.

0:23:11.760 --> 0:23:13.879
<v Speaker 1>I think there's a sign in this and it's like

0:23:14.840 --> 0:23:19.760
<v Speaker 1>see you later, bye, goodbye, closed off, fuck off.

0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:22.480
<v Speaker 2>Maybe I'm cutting those strings exactly.

0:23:23.080 --> 0:23:26.639
<v Speaker 1>Surely there is something in that. Yeah, but none of

0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:28.080
<v Speaker 1>these guys have fought for me.

0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:30.639
<v Speaker 2>How do you test someone in that in that way,

0:23:30.800 --> 0:23:31.879
<v Speaker 2>like to see if they will.

0:23:32.040 --> 0:23:34.560
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, and I don't fucking try it.

0:23:35.000 --> 0:23:37.399
<v Speaker 1>Yes, it's just it's a matter of just walking away

0:23:37.400 --> 0:23:39.040
<v Speaker 1>and just being like it is what it is.

0:23:39.440 --> 0:23:42.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I have to say, this relationship that I'm in

0:23:42.640 --> 0:23:45.760
<v Speaker 2>is the healthiest relationship that I've ever been in. Like, honestly,

0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:48.800
<v Speaker 2>it's to the point where we're very open about having

0:23:48.840 --> 0:23:52.199
<v Speaker 2>conversations about basically anything and resolving something before the end

0:23:52.240 --> 0:23:54.880
<v Speaker 2>of the day like this. Yeah, there's some I said

0:23:54.880 --> 0:23:56.200
<v Speaker 2>to him the other day. I sent him a message

0:23:56.200 --> 0:23:57.480
<v Speaker 2>and I said, hey, I just want to say I

0:23:57.560 --> 0:23:58.960
<v Speaker 2>was at the gym. We just left the cafe. I

0:23:58.960 --> 0:24:00.639
<v Speaker 2>went to the gym. He went home and him a message.

0:24:00.640 --> 0:24:02.320
<v Speaker 2>I said, Hey, babe, I just want to say, it's

0:24:02.359 --> 0:24:05.199
<v Speaker 2>so beautiful how we can talk so openly about like

0:24:05.480 --> 0:24:07.639
<v Speaker 2>our issues and our relationship. And I want to say that,

0:24:07.680 --> 0:24:09.879
<v Speaker 2>like I'm so happy our relationship is so healthy in

0:24:09.920 --> 0:24:13.920
<v Speaker 2>this way, and like we communicate so openly about that stuff.

0:24:14.160 --> 0:24:16.520
<v Speaker 2>And I think that we've both had very different experiences

0:24:16.520 --> 0:24:19.679
<v Speaker 2>in the past to what we're experiencing now, so we're

0:24:19.720 --> 0:24:22.080
<v Speaker 2>trialing all the new things and like even to the

0:24:22.080 --> 0:24:26.480
<v Speaker 2>point where like growth, it's growth, it's absolute growth, and

0:24:27.480 --> 0:24:30.159
<v Speaker 2>it really is just a beautiful thing to experience because

0:24:30.680 --> 0:24:32.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't have any pressure. I don't get any pressure

0:24:32.600 --> 0:24:35.480
<v Speaker 2>in this relationship to be anything or to try and

0:24:35.600 --> 0:24:39.199
<v Speaker 2>make it like amazing or it's just it is what

0:24:39.280 --> 0:24:42.160
<v Speaker 2>it is. But also we had a funny conversation yesterday

0:24:42.160 --> 0:24:46.720
<v Speaker 2>about never talking about breaking up. Yeah, how sometimes it's

0:24:46.720 --> 0:24:50.959
<v Speaker 2>like you have stupid conversations around if we broke up,

0:24:51.680 --> 0:24:57.800
<v Speaker 2>or doing hypotheticals about like which still still love me?

0:24:58.200 --> 0:25:02.080
<v Speaker 2>And even though it's cute, like let's not like bring

0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:05.320
<v Speaker 2>that energy into our relationship, I've always questions for each other.

0:25:05.560 --> 0:25:08.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah it's here, I'm showing you, you know, like yeah, yeah,

0:25:09.080 --> 0:25:09.480
<v Speaker 2>I think.

0:25:09.400 --> 0:25:10.400
<v Speaker 3>It's like, oh you do that.

0:25:10.840 --> 0:25:11.119
<v Speaker 2>Stop?

0:25:11.160 --> 0:25:11.840
<v Speaker 3>Why do you hate me?

0:25:12.200 --> 0:25:12.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:25:12.400 --> 0:25:13.080
<v Speaker 3>Why do you hate me?

0:25:13.359 --> 0:25:16.000
<v Speaker 1>I do that a lot and I on that actually though,

0:25:16.119 --> 0:25:18.560
<v Speaker 1>and it's like so beautiful to hear that all the

0:25:18.560 --> 0:25:21.880
<v Speaker 1>work that you do is showing in your relationship.

0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:22.040
<v Speaker 2>Right, yeah.

0:25:22.280 --> 0:25:24.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's like I'm doing all this work, but I

0:25:24.600 --> 0:25:26.359
<v Speaker 1>don't know what it's like to be in a relationship.

0:25:26.400 --> 0:25:27.720
<v Speaker 3>Like I've completely kind.

0:25:27.520 --> 0:25:30.400
<v Speaker 2>Of forgotten Yeah, okay, because I've just.

0:25:30.320 --> 0:25:33.919
<v Speaker 1>Been doing things by myself and doing work, like I

0:25:33.960 --> 0:25:36.360
<v Speaker 1>don't know if my work is going to be worth it.

0:25:36.760 --> 0:25:39.720
<v Speaker 3>At some points, I question whether I've done enough work.

0:25:39.960 --> 0:25:40.720
<v Speaker 3>But I have.

0:25:41.040 --> 0:25:42.680
<v Speaker 1>I know that I have, but I don't I doubt

0:25:42.720 --> 0:25:44.880
<v Speaker 1>myself because it's like, well, I don't know until it's

0:25:44.920 --> 0:25:47.639
<v Speaker 1>going to be happening. Yeah, and I haven't got to

0:25:47.680 --> 0:25:48.240
<v Speaker 1>that point.

0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:51.200
<v Speaker 2>So the person that you're seeing now keeping a casual

0:25:51.359 --> 0:25:54.520
<v Speaker 2>but yeah, what are the feelings you have towards them?

0:25:54.560 --> 0:25:56.960
<v Speaker 1>Like similar to you and Danny, I guess in a

0:25:57.000 --> 0:26:00.520
<v Speaker 1>sense where it's very open and it's very open on communication. Ye,

0:26:00.920 --> 0:26:03.600
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of green flags, Like I'm testing the

0:26:03.600 --> 0:26:08.159
<v Speaker 1>waters very quickly, like I'm like saying things like okay.

0:26:07.960 --> 0:26:10.879
<v Speaker 3>Good answer. You know like I and I shouldn't. I

0:26:10.920 --> 0:26:13.359
<v Speaker 3>shouldn't do that, I should just let it happen.

0:26:13.440 --> 0:26:15.840
<v Speaker 1>But I'm just like, I don't want to waste my time,

0:26:16.240 --> 0:26:17.760
<v Speaker 1>and I think I need to get that out of

0:26:17.760 --> 0:26:20.679
<v Speaker 1>my brain. So I feel that there's a lot of

0:26:20.680 --> 0:26:24.360
<v Speaker 1>green flags. They're very open. He's very open communicator, which

0:26:24.400 --> 0:26:25.159
<v Speaker 1>is good.

0:26:25.520 --> 0:26:28.439
<v Speaker 2>I mean, just take it day by day, like when

0:26:28.480 --> 0:26:34.560
<v Speaker 2>you when you start feeling the pressure, don't feel like

0:26:35.200 --> 0:26:36.640
<v Speaker 2>you need to escape.

0:26:37.280 --> 0:26:40.000
<v Speaker 3>Well, that's my thing though, as much challenge, well I

0:26:40.040 --> 0:26:40.960
<v Speaker 3>just run away.

0:26:41.600 --> 0:26:44.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but you have to think, Okay, when you get

0:26:44.840 --> 0:26:46.840
<v Speaker 2>through something like that, the pressure or the challenge, you

0:26:46.880 --> 0:26:48.600
<v Speaker 2>have to see how they react to it as well.

0:26:49.080 --> 0:26:51.000
<v Speaker 2>If they're comforting and if it's a safe place for

0:26:51.080 --> 0:26:53.200
<v Speaker 2>you to show that side of yourself and for them

0:26:53.200 --> 0:26:54.840
<v Speaker 2>to comfort you in it. And you get to the

0:26:54.840 --> 0:26:57.840
<v Speaker 2>other side. That's like a building block. That's a brick

0:26:58.480 --> 0:27:00.800
<v Speaker 2>when you come up against those challenges again, all the pressure,

0:27:01.440 --> 0:27:03.240
<v Speaker 2>it's a mental block for you. But if you can

0:27:03.240 --> 0:27:06.199
<v Speaker 2>get past it with someone figure you navigate through it

0:27:06.240 --> 0:27:11.000
<v Speaker 2>with them, that will create a stronger foundation. Like that's

0:27:11.000 --> 0:27:15.280
<v Speaker 2>how I saw my challenges with Denny. Like even in

0:27:15.280 --> 0:27:17.840
<v Speaker 2>the beginning, I remember I said my time, I said

0:27:17.840 --> 0:27:23.280
<v Speaker 2>to him, well you're gone tomorrow. Like I literally said,

0:27:23.280 --> 0:27:27.400
<v Speaker 2>well you're gone tomorrow, Like how rude. He took that

0:27:27.880 --> 0:27:33.360
<v Speaker 2>as like like obviously fucking rude, but he was like, Okay,

0:27:33.520 --> 0:27:36.400
<v Speaker 2>he's in his moment, he's having this reaction to something.

0:27:37.160 --> 0:27:39.760
<v Speaker 2>The next morning we had another conversation. I apologized, and

0:27:39.800 --> 0:27:41.840
<v Speaker 2>it was like a building block of me going, oh,

0:27:41.880 --> 0:27:45.159
<v Speaker 2>he's not going to just react to my rudeness or

0:27:45.240 --> 0:27:48.160
<v Speaker 2>like immaturity. He's going to like take a moment, wait

0:27:48.240 --> 0:27:50.440
<v Speaker 2>for me to apologize and then have a proper conversation.

0:27:50.760 --> 0:27:55.479
<v Speaker 2>That built like such a strong like start relationships.

0:27:54.920 --> 0:27:57.840
<v Speaker 3>In your behalf. But it worked because it worked.

0:27:58.000 --> 0:28:00.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I guess that's also try you know that kind

0:28:00.320 --> 0:28:03.520
<v Speaker 1>of what I tried to do is, you know, test

0:28:03.640 --> 0:28:07.320
<v Speaker 1>the waters agains, and I shouldn't do it all the time,

0:28:07.400 --> 0:28:10.280
<v Speaker 1>but the time because it's like, well am I the

0:28:10.359 --> 0:28:14.280
<v Speaker 1>learning how you deal with things, how you respond, and

0:28:14.280 --> 0:28:15.840
<v Speaker 1>how you're willing to work through them.

0:28:16.000 --> 0:28:16.840
<v Speaker 3>And that's the whole thing.

0:28:16.880 --> 0:28:20.280
<v Speaker 1>A relationship, isn't it about sometimes the love itself. It's

0:28:20.280 --> 0:28:23.639
<v Speaker 1>about how you figure out and work things through.

0:28:23.720 --> 0:28:25.840
<v Speaker 2>And figure out it to have respect for you and

0:28:25.880 --> 0:28:31.320
<v Speaker 2>not like not superficial respect, actual respect, because respect will

0:28:31.520 --> 0:28:34.840
<v Speaker 2>allow them to take care of you and to make

0:28:34.880 --> 0:28:37.159
<v Speaker 2>good decisions based on like how they feel towards you.

0:28:37.160 --> 0:28:38.800
<v Speaker 2>If they don't respect you, and if they just say

0:28:38.800 --> 0:28:41.120
<v Speaker 2>they're doing the actions, aren't there, You're going to figure

0:28:41.120 --> 0:28:43.640
<v Speaker 2>out pretty quickly that they're going to have some moves

0:28:43.680 --> 0:28:45.600
<v Speaker 2>that are going to be easy for you to disregard

0:28:45.760 --> 0:28:48.720
<v Speaker 2>and leave. But I also think that I am not

0:28:48.920 --> 0:28:51.400
<v Speaker 2>the best person to give advice on this. I'm such

0:28:51.520 --> 0:28:55.680
<v Speaker 2>like a one track minded person when it comes to relationships,

0:28:55.680 --> 0:28:58.080
<v Speaker 2>and I feel like I've been in a relationship hardly

0:28:58.080 --> 0:29:00.280
<v Speaker 2>ever dated and that I'm in another relationship. So I'm

0:29:00.320 --> 0:29:02.400
<v Speaker 2>not the best person. But I feel like our listeners,

0:29:02.840 --> 0:29:05.760
<v Speaker 2>I feel like they will have some either advice or.

0:29:05.840 --> 0:29:08.320
<v Speaker 1>Fucking give me any advice, Like we.

0:29:08.240 --> 0:29:10.840
<v Speaker 2>Should put a co out to them about, you know,

0:29:11.000 --> 0:29:13.880
<v Speaker 2>just about relationships in general, and you know, if they're

0:29:14.520 --> 0:29:17.720
<v Speaker 2>loyal listeners, maybe they have some advice that you know,

0:29:17.720 --> 0:29:19.960
<v Speaker 2>they've heard some things over the time of the pod

0:29:20.000 --> 0:29:21.280
<v Speaker 2>that maybe they'll be able to help up.

0:29:21.360 --> 0:29:24.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, maybe they've listened to me fucking go on about

0:29:24.320 --> 0:29:26.720
<v Speaker 1>this for months and months and months and months that

0:29:26.760 --> 0:29:29.000
<v Speaker 1>they're like, I'm sick of hearing this ship Brook, this

0:29:29.080 --> 0:29:30.800
<v Speaker 1>is what you need, blah blah blah.

0:29:30.840 --> 0:29:34.000
<v Speaker 2>Well let's open it up to the floor. Yeah, post

0:29:34.080 --> 0:29:36.960
<v Speaker 2>on our Instagram. But if you have any also, I

0:29:36.960 --> 0:29:38.920
<v Speaker 2>want to know some juicy dilemmas, like do you have

0:29:38.960 --> 0:29:42.280
<v Speaker 2>any relationship dilemmas that have unfolded in your life that

0:29:42.360 --> 0:29:44.400
<v Speaker 2>you want to share with us that maybe has come

0:29:44.440 --> 0:29:50.560
<v Speaker 2>to a great resolution. Ascus First, I love it. What

0:29:50.560 --> 0:29:51.440
<v Speaker 2>do you want to hear from them?

0:29:51.680 --> 0:29:54.760
<v Speaker 1>I think I want to know if there's any other women,

0:29:55.080 --> 0:29:57.840
<v Speaker 1>particularly that are in similar situations with me, with having

0:29:57.880 --> 0:30:01.840
<v Speaker 1>some difficulty around finding their person or relationships, Like I

0:30:01.880 --> 0:30:05.080
<v Speaker 1>want to know what their journey has been like and

0:30:05.440 --> 0:30:07.880
<v Speaker 1>what their experiences have been like, whether they've had similar

0:30:07.920 --> 0:30:09.960
<v Speaker 1>to me where they've gone all in and it's not

0:30:10.040 --> 0:30:12.719
<v Speaker 1>worked out, or they've half asked done something and then

0:30:12.760 --> 0:30:15.040
<v Speaker 1>it happens to be like a good person and then

0:30:15.040 --> 0:30:15.840
<v Speaker 1>they end up with them.

0:30:16.000 --> 0:30:17.200
<v Speaker 3>I want to know also, like.

0:30:17.240 --> 0:30:19.480
<v Speaker 1>I guess some hopeful stories that give me a little

0:30:19.520 --> 0:30:20.960
<v Speaker 1>bit of hope, because I feel like I need that

0:30:21.080 --> 0:30:21.440
<v Speaker 1>right now.

0:30:21.880 --> 0:30:23.840
<v Speaker 2>I love this well. I also just had like a

0:30:23.920 --> 0:30:26.520
<v Speaker 2>light bulb moment, why don't you and I create a

0:30:26.560 --> 0:30:32.240
<v Speaker 2>TV show called Marry the Mob and it's fun. It's

0:30:32.280 --> 0:30:38.320
<v Speaker 2>for single people to blackfellows to find their matchtch it

0:30:38.680 --> 0:30:39.080
<v Speaker 2>love it?

0:30:39.280 --> 0:30:43.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? All right, well that's all we have time for today.

0:30:43.120 --> 0:30:45.360
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for listening to First things First,

0:30:46.200 --> 0:30:48.080
<v Speaker 1>if you love what you hear, leave us a reading

0:30:48.080 --> 0:30:48.680
<v Speaker 1>and a review.

0:30:49.080 --> 0:30:50.760
<v Speaker 2>I think you want us to cover anything on the pod.

0:30:50.760 --> 0:30:53.040
<v Speaker 2>Reach out by our socials books. Handle is at brook

0:30:53.080 --> 0:30:55.040
<v Speaker 2>dot blurt and money is at its Matty Meals And

0:30:55.120 --> 0:30:55.920
<v Speaker 2>we'll see you next time.

0:30:56.080 --> 0:30:59.080
<v Speaker 3>Bye,