Speaker 1: Welcome to First things First, I'm pro bloke. A pronounce
Speaker 1: are she and her.
Speaker 2: I'm Mattie meals. My pronouns are he and him. And
Speaker 2: before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge the custodians
Speaker 2: of the land on which we record. And for me
Speaker 2: that's the gattigol people of the urination and for me it's.
Speaker 3: The roundery people of the cooler nation.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. How's your weekend?
Speaker 1: Yes, Friday night, Oh my god, Friday night was my
Speaker 1: Howard Fine, Fine and Dine night, which is where all
Speaker 1: of our alumni, cohort staff, students, other actors get together
Speaker 1: and we just have a little pizza night and drinks.
Speaker 3: But I performed in front of my class.
Speaker 1: What did you do in front of like one hundred people?
Speaker 1: Seeing I sang? And I it was open mic night
Speaker 1: and everyone was performing or doing like an open mic,
Speaker 1: either stand up comedy, poetry or performance so singing or
Speaker 1: piano or whatever. Anyways, it kind of was getting to
Speaker 1: a point where everyone was.
Speaker 3: Just like du Brook were named her? Were named her?
Speaker 1: And then I just started to said and said, I
Speaker 1: got a little bit sentimental, you know, like what I've
Speaker 1: learned through this course is that the power of voice
Speaker 1: and owning your truth and being in your truth, and
Speaker 1: you know, being in your voice is really important, and
Speaker 1: I've learned that so much of that comes from healing
Speaker 1: you in a child. And I just can't believe I'm
Speaker 1: actually getting up here and performing because I've never performed
Speaker 1: before and this is going to be so healing. And
Speaker 1: I could not tell you the euphoric feeling of my
Speaker 1: younger Brook, like the younger Brook in her like I
Speaker 1: have never experienced that much joy in my life, Like
Speaker 1: I'm getting goosebumps now because I could hear a pin
Speaker 1: drop in the sense like everyone was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: we're so excited to hear. But then everyone was singing,
Speaker 1: like I know it probably seems so small, but for me,
Speaker 1: like that was a huge moment in my life because
Speaker 1: if I can't perform in front of like my cohort
Speaker 1: of acting students, I can't perform on a national, global level,
Speaker 1: like I'm not ready. So I was like, well, this
Speaker 1: is my chance to like do it, and even if
Speaker 1: it's just so small of like playing one song like
Speaker 1: can't help falling in love with you my Elvis Presley and.
Speaker 2: I knew it was that song song.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course I posted it. Do you not see
Speaker 1: my video? And everyone was like, I I'm getting messages
Speaker 1: now from people that were there, and they're like, you
Speaker 1: had the whole room like, and I'm not like talking
Speaker 1: myself up. I'm not gonna be like I was a
Speaker 1: big shot.
Speaker 3: Look at me.
Speaker 1: It was like, obviously I've got a natural talent in
Speaker 1: holding a space or holding a room like that. And
Speaker 1: I didn't realize it until I watched those videos back
Speaker 1: where the room is silent, there is not a thing,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, everyone is singing with me.
Speaker 3: Who doesn't that Like, isn't that crazy? Sorry? Insane?
Speaker 2: Like I'm sort the alignment of the song. I can't
Speaker 2: help falling in love, like if that isn't you to tea?
Speaker 2: And like you couldn't have chosen a more perfect song.
Speaker 1: Well I dedicated it to my dad, but in my
Speaker 1: head I was like, can't help but forgetting you.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: But it was funny. It was funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was such a great yeah, great experience. It
Speaker 1: was crazy. So that was my weekend, just living in
Speaker 1: that euphoricness of my first time performance in front of anyone.
Speaker 3: I'm a big shot. Now look at me.
Speaker 2: Go.
Speaker 3: How was your weekend? Anyways?
Speaker 2: My weekend was good. I spent the week catching up
Speaker 2: with friends. I have been pretty much like isolating myself,
Speaker 2: not really isolating myself, but keeping to myself, keeping my
Speaker 2: head down and just focusing on work lately. But this
Speaker 2: weekend I went and caught up with some friends. Saturday morning,
Speaker 2: I caught up with jes Melboy and we had branch
Speaker 2: and then we went to a queer exhibition together which
Speaker 2: was called Qutopia, and it's in Surrey Hills. So we
Speaker 2: went and like learned a lot. Actually we were like
Speaker 2: immersed in queer culture and history and also the dark
Speaker 2: side of you know, the challenges and police brutality. And
Speaker 2: it was beautiful. We spent the morning like at this exhibition.
Speaker 2: It's called Qutopia. It's in the old police station at
Speaker 2: Taylor Square in Surrey Hill, so it is and it's
Speaker 2: and it's within the cell blocks. It's like reclaiming that
Speaker 2: space where a lot of trauma happened people and part
Speaker 2: of people who are part of the LGBT QUI A
Speaker 2: plus community. So that was like a really beautiful morning.
Speaker 2: So like inspiring to hear stories of friends, even your
Speaker 2: story just now, Like there's so many incredible things that
Speaker 2: MOB are doing, you know, and I get to like
Speaker 2: just connect with you MOB, and I'm doing, you know,
Speaker 2: an incredible project at the moment myself. So I'm feeling
Speaker 2: very motivated, very inspired. Also just light. You know, I've
Speaker 2: obviously like haven't been drinking or going out, and you know,
Speaker 2: I'm feeling like the benefits of that starting to pay off, yeah,
Speaker 2: which is awesome. So I'm feeling good. I'm feeling like
Speaker 2: super excited. I also feel like I'm at a point
Speaker 2: in my life now where I'm so far from my
Speaker 2: past in terms of like my past relationship and the
Speaker 2: experiences that I are having, Like last year, I feel
Speaker 2: like a brand new person. I don't know. I wanted
Speaker 2: to ask you you were going to share a story
Speaker 2: about an ex coming back into your life.
Speaker 1: Actually there's been. It's been such a weird because this
Speaker 1: is how fast my life happens, you know. When I'm
Speaker 1: just like so focused on like work and things, I
Speaker 1: find that like it's funny, like I can't be penetrated
Speaker 1: and not that way, Like no, no, no.
Speaker 2: Like okay, we're going down. We're going down that.
Speaker 1: I have my like my box around me and my
Speaker 1: walls cannot be infiltrated.
Speaker 2: Everything I know, I know talking about penetration boxes.
Speaker 1: And penetration.
Speaker 3: Violation.
Speaker 1: No, I mean, I mean like I can't be interrupted.
Speaker 1: Maybe I feel like because I've been in such a
Speaker 1: zone of school work project basis, you know, my dating
Speaker 1: life is really kind of dropped off. But it's so
Speaker 1: funny because like this sort of new establishment is what
Speaker 1: I would call it, is just like you know, it's
Speaker 1: like taking day by day. We've gone on like five dates.
Speaker 1: It's super casual, it's super chill. There's not really anything
Speaker 1: coming up until well no, no, like this is a
Speaker 1: thing like no no swear like I'm not.
Speaker 3: I get so angry when you do that.
Speaker 2: Well, the reason I'm doing it is because I've heard
Speaker 2: that so.
Speaker 3: Many things are casual.
Speaker 2: You know that casual, But then it goes it got
Speaker 2: moves from casual to serious really quickly.
Speaker 3: On my end.
Speaker 2: Not there, That's what I'm saying on your end.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, when have mine ever been serious?
Speaker 2: Like seriously, Well, you've convinced me every single one of
Speaker 2: them is serious. I'm telling you you shouldn't believe me that.
Speaker 3: Like you should. You should have believed me.
Speaker 2: I just love that I'm on this roller coaster with you.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm like roller coaster babe, get on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm here with it. I'm here and I'm on it,
Speaker 2: and I love the stories.
Speaker 1: But I share everything with you solely you as well,
Speaker 1: like no, no friend gets this inside as well, Like
Speaker 1: I'm not. My friends don't even know that I'm seeing
Speaker 1: anyone because I haven't told them. I'm telling the podcast
Speaker 1: because you guys are like my family.
Speaker 3: You shouldn't judge me, then.
Speaker 2: Mother, There is no judgment. That is what I There
Speaker 2: is nothing. There is no judgment but judgment, no judgment,
Speaker 2: I promise. But what I'm saying is that I'm going
Speaker 2: to predict in a couple of days.
Speaker 3: And I know I hate that I'm that friend that's
Speaker 3: like prett yeah, predictable.
Speaker 1: Literally, I hate that I'm the bitch and I'm like, fuck,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be here anymore.
Speaker 3: I'm done, well fucking done.
Speaker 2: I think I'm just a girl.
Speaker 3: I'm just a girl.
Speaker 2: Your next T shirt should say just keep it casual,
Speaker 2: just keep it casual, or like just forbidden. No that's
Speaker 2: your next book.
Speaker 1: Actual And I think every the one. So everyone you
Speaker 1: meet is the one because it teaches you one thing
Speaker 1: or something. So I think every person you meet everyone
Speaker 1: is the one because they other teach you how to
Speaker 1: be loved. The other teach you something about yourself. They
Speaker 1: teach you what you don't want. So I'm just out
Speaker 1: here just doing research, bub going research.
Speaker 2: You know. I'm back this strategy. I back at one
Speaker 2: hundred percent in a life because I think I think
Speaker 2: you're absolutely spot on when it comes to learning things
Speaker 2: from different people, and now you have a plethora of experience.
Speaker 2: I'm looking one man stand over here, and all I've
Speaker 2: learned is a little bit doing it.
Speaker 3: For the plot.
Speaker 1: Yeah you are, I'm doing it for the plot, you know.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. And you know this story is cliffhanger
Speaker 2: after cliffhanger, and I'm fucking here. I'm here every time.
Speaker 2: I'm like, what's gonna happen? What is going to happen?
Speaker 2: And then the ad break comes and you're like, na,
Speaker 2: I'm done.
Speaker 3: Yeah next.
Speaker 1: I did a whole big therapy session this morning on friendships,
Speaker 1: and I realized I don't have friends that literally will
Speaker 1: tell me how it is I thought.
Speaker 2: I did, but I'm getting there.
Speaker 3: But I can tell me fucking.
Speaker 1: Be honest with me and say it ain't it sis, Well.
Speaker 2: I just try. I just tried. I just fucking tried it.
Speaker 2: All I said was until when? And then you were like,
Speaker 2: so do you think that your friends want to tell
Speaker 2: you the fucking.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm not. I'm fucking reasonable as.
Speaker 2: Ship you are. I agree with you. I know you,
Speaker 2: and I know like I feel like I know your
Speaker 2: heart to an extent that you will see the good
Speaker 2: in someone and then you will automatically move from casual
Speaker 2: to looking at a long term plan. And then when
Speaker 2: you make that shift focus you you fall really really hard,
Speaker 2: really fast, really quickly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but then I fall out of it very quickly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: So I know this is my this is what it's cooled. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's a cycle. It's a pattern that I'm repeating.
Speaker 3: I don't think it's a roller coaster. I think it's
Speaker 3: like it's like emotions.
Speaker 2: It might be, well, no, it is.
Speaker 3: I'm a very highly emotional person.
Speaker 1: You know this, Yeah, but like yeah, and then when
Speaker 1: I reflect and I look back on all those relationships
Speaker 1: and my exes and I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, god, girl, it wasn't it. What were you thinking?
Speaker 1: But I just wish my friends told me sinner like
Speaker 1: it ain't it.
Speaker 2: But then I feel like if you figure it out,
Speaker 2: if your friends told you that, it would feel like
Speaker 2: they were shutting down any opportunity of love.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get that, but then it's like you would
Speaker 1: prevent me from getting hurt a lot more quicker and faster,
Speaker 1: you know, like yeah, like I think sometimes yeah, like
Speaker 1: you get your rose colored glasses on. Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: also am so again, like so hopeful with them, like no, no,
Speaker 1: I'll give people benefit doubt and I'll I'll work on
Speaker 1: it and blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: Anyway, do you think that you just haven't met anyone
Speaker 2: that is worth the fight?
Speaker 1: This is what I'm figuring out. They won't fight for
Speaker 1: me for the way that I would fight for them.
Speaker 1: And also I haven't met someone who has the whole
Speaker 1: package that just like fucking lights me up.
Speaker 3: That's like boom.
Speaker 2: What are some things that would inspire you? Or like
Speaker 2: what is like a person someone who motivates me?
Speaker 1: A person like they're doing so good that I want
Speaker 1: to do good with them, Like it's always me that's
Speaker 1: inspiring to them.
Speaker 3: Like when someone's like, oh, you're so inspiring, I'm like.
Speaker 2: I.
Speaker 1: Really I want someone who just like I don't know,
Speaker 1: wants to walk the same path as me.
Speaker 3: And it's not they're not.
Speaker 1: It's an equal worship if anything. Yeah, I just feel
Speaker 1: like I either get really worshiped and I get put
Speaker 1: on this pedestal where it gives me the ick because
Speaker 1: it's like then I have to sort of feel like
Speaker 1: I'm living up to that, so I can't like what
Speaker 1: if I want to rot in bed one day?
Speaker 3: Like, does that mean I'm unmotivated?
Speaker 2: You know what? Do you ever disclose that in the
Speaker 2: beginning when someone says that to you, like you're so inspiring,
Speaker 2: do you ever say, well, you're going to figure out that,
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm just normal.
Speaker 3: I'm just human.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so human and I'm normal and I'm and
Speaker 1: I think that's like, let's talk about men in per
Speaker 1: se because obviously there's two different relationships that I experience.
Speaker 1: With men, I don't know why I go to the
Speaker 1: fix it like I need my mummy.
Speaker 2: Insecure men, okay.
Speaker 1: And then with women I go probably the same, but
Speaker 1: like but it's like I then have to then adhere
Speaker 1: to a more masculine like providing role with a woman,
Speaker 1: and then when I'm I'm with a man, it's hard
Speaker 1: to let that go. But then I try to be
Speaker 1: my feminine error. But I don't feel like I can
Speaker 1: be when I'm in my feminine error, Like that's when
Speaker 1: I'm like in love and I'm happy and I'm creative
Speaker 1: and I'm.
Speaker 3: Who enjoying joy?
Speaker 2: And give me an example, like was it the blonde guy,
Speaker 2: the tall blonde guy, and we went, here's a chef. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's really hot.
Speaker 3: Why did you This is.
Speaker 1: The second time you brought him up. Yeah, he's still
Speaker 1: in my life, but he's my friend.
Speaker 2: There's something about you in that relationship that I saw
Speaker 2: that was like you were in your feminine error.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: And we saw each other for four weeks straight, every
Speaker 1: single day and I didn't get the it until he
Speaker 1: dropped those two words.
Speaker 2: But do you think that's too quick.
Speaker 1: Of Yeah, like something needs to happen with me where
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, I can see it like a lifetime,
Speaker 1: long term thing, like something.
Speaker 2: Needs to You couldn't see a long term thing with him?
Speaker 1: No, no, okay, But then I like my last X,
Speaker 1: because there was such a bond and a like connection,
Speaker 1: like the sex is amazing. So it's all a physicality
Speaker 1: physicality thing, Like it's just like all needs to work
Speaker 1: together in symbiosis, but it just doesn't for me. Like,
Speaker 1: and yes, that's probably why I fucking filtered through them,
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I can't see a lifelong thing with them.
Speaker 1: They don't spark a thing with me. Okay, next, all,
Speaker 1: you want to know something really interesting.
Speaker 2: When I first met Denny, I didn't actually see a
Speaker 2: long term relationship as a thing with him. I thought
Speaker 2: that it was going to be a few months of dating.
Speaker 2: I found him extremely attractive. I didn't really even contemplate
Speaker 2: having a future with him. It actually took getting to
Speaker 2: know and like having some real big issues in our
Speaker 2: relationship and seeing where he put his focus to move
Speaker 2: that dial. Because in the beginning it was very much
Speaker 2: like a party boyfriend. It was like going out on
Speaker 2: the weekend partying. And then we broke up for like
Speaker 2: three months, and that actual separation was like a really
Speaker 2: good thing for us in our relationship timeline, because it
Speaker 2: was like when we got back together, we had conversations
Speaker 2: about like the long term, and I could see that
Speaker 2: he wanted the same things that I wanted. So it's
Speaker 2: like about having conversations and initial conversations of like what
Speaker 2: does your future look like? What is it that you want?
Speaker 2: Do you have those conversations or is it that something
Speaker 2: that you just hope to discover both both.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's happened for different people.
Speaker 1: I just find like, if you're fighting over small things
Speaker 1: within those couple of weeks or whatever, it's a huge
Speaker 1: red flag for me. I'm like, no, Like, even if
Speaker 1: the passion is there, it's like not too much.
Speaker 2: And then I'm comunortable too quickly.
Speaker 1: There's some previous relationships where I have moved too quickly,
Speaker 1: and there's some relationships that I've moved very slowly, but
Speaker 1: none of it.
Speaker 3: There's the thing, there's no right or wrong way of dating. Like,
Speaker 3: that's what I mean. That's why I get so frustrated.
Speaker 1: I guess when you're like, oh, like next, I'm like,
Speaker 1: but I've given it a spectrum of black ways, so
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: Mean the next one. What I mean is like, I
Speaker 2: think that you've had a lot of experience dating, what
Speaker 2: are the common denominators within the relationships, had no, no, no,
Speaker 2: not you. I'm talking about the experiences or the red
Speaker 2: flags or the things that come up each time that
Speaker 2: you need to see as something that you sort of
Speaker 2: like dodge or get rid of in that person, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like it's not the same thing every time. It's a
Speaker 1: different reason for each different thing, but those things matter
Speaker 1: to me, so it need to be like a whole
Speaker 1: package for me. So like I don't want to take
Speaker 1: care of someone. I don't want to be someone's mummy.
Speaker 1: That's one thing that I've noticed across a few people
Speaker 1: like no, no, no, no, I don't do that, ye,
Speaker 1: Or it's a matter of like language and respect, like
Speaker 1: using those types of derogatory words, you're not educated. Education
Speaker 1: for me is a big thing, but fucking go and
Speaker 1: educate yourself. So education is a big thing for me.
Speaker 1: Respect is a big thing for me. I guess financial
Speaker 1: like not having to worry about someone, Yeah exactly, Like
Speaker 1: that's a big fucking thing for me totally. But I've
Speaker 1: just not met that in someone like where it's like
Speaker 1: yeah they do God, I know they tick a few boxes,
Speaker 1: but they don't tick all of mine. And that's obviously
Speaker 1: what it's got to and I'm like, okay, I moved
Speaker 1: past it quickly in a sense to figure it out
Speaker 1: if I can get over that and that can be
Speaker 1: built and that can be worked on or can be fixed.
Speaker 3: But it's like it's not up to fucking me to
Speaker 3: do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm conflicted, yeah.
Speaker 1: A little bit, because it's like, yes, I want this
Speaker 1: relationship or like I have this idea of what I
Speaker 1: would like it to be and I'm not living in fairyland.
Speaker 1: I'm being realistic, like that's this is kind of what
Speaker 1: I want as a relationship. But then the other part
Speaker 1: of me is like, but I'm also like really fucking
Speaker 1: content with being by myself and getting what I need
Speaker 1: to get done and like moving towards that. And i
Speaker 1: think the more time I spend by myself, the more
Speaker 1: I'm moving away from that.
Speaker 3: And I'm like oh no, no, no, no, like.
Speaker 1: Because I don't want to be alone, like I want
Speaker 1: to end up with a beautiful partner who wants to
Speaker 1: build a life together. Because my brothers and sister you know,
Speaker 1: sister in laws are all having children families, like I
Speaker 1: don't want to miss out on that. So then I'm like, okay, no, no,
Speaker 1: I still need to put myself out there. So then
Speaker 1: I lean towards that and then I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: I get my heart broken and I give my all
Speaker 1: to something and it didn't work, so I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: fuck back to this. So it is a scale constantly
Speaker 1: that I'm getting pulled and pushed from, and I've realized
Speaker 1: that and like, I'm doing all the right things. I'm
Speaker 1: in therapy, I'm learning about how I do with lifelationships,
Speaker 1: I'm experimenting, I'm learning, I'm being open. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: stay open. But the more I put myself out there,
Speaker 1: the more I get burnt, or the more I get
Speaker 1: used and abused. It's like, you know, my worth at
Speaker 1: some points is really high and then these moments happen
Speaker 1: and it becomes really low.
Speaker 3: And right now I.
Speaker 1: Feel like my worth is up here, so I know
Speaker 1: what I deserve and I'm on my little high horse
Speaker 1: if you want to call it. Yeah, and I'm like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I'm now in this moment. I'm like, okay, I'm ready
Speaker 1: to let someone in, and then I do and then
Speaker 1: it just you know, it's a cycle that I'm just
Speaker 1: like not not, haven't nailed yet.
Speaker 2: Have you got any good friends who you see all
Speaker 2: the qualities in, but there's no romantic spark there with
Speaker 2: because I see that some people in when they find
Speaker 2: their person, they say, oh, we were friends for a
Speaker 2: long time before.
Speaker 3: So I've done that. I've ticked all these boxes.
Speaker 1: I could tell you now if you name it, I've
Speaker 1: done yep. One thing I fucking know though, Like, is
Speaker 1: that regardless of what the relationship has turned out to be,
Speaker 1: Like I've always made sure that I'm respectful, it's a
Speaker 1: mutual thing or it's like a discussion, you know. I
Speaker 1: try to try not to end it in a toxic way.
Speaker 1: And so I've been, you know, remained friends with most
Speaker 1: of my exes and I don't even know if that
Speaker 1: also plays into it as well. It's like, okay, do
Speaker 1: I have because I'm friends with my exes, does that
Speaker 1: mean I'm still you know, like the string theory, Like
Speaker 1: I'm still attached to all these strings. So that's why
Speaker 1: I'm not being able to like move on to have
Speaker 1: my own string attached. You know, I don't get what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, if you've got all these threads and
Speaker 1: can you're connected to all these people that you've once
Speaker 1: had romantic or emotional attachment to Are you allowing yourself
Speaker 1: to then be able to move on with someone else?
Speaker 2: You know, I fucking want the best for you. I
Speaker 2: want you to find like a miracle man or a
Speaker 2: woman who just sweeps you off your feet and fucking
Speaker 2: gives you everything.
Speaker 3: Though, like this is I think, know, see everyone feels
Speaker 3: sad for me. Don't feel sad for me. I'm just
Speaker 3: like I'm fucking trying. It just seems like I'm.
Speaker 1: A little bit fucking doomed in this sense. Like there
Speaker 1: are younger people that, like my friend's brother has just
Speaker 1: like bought a house.
Speaker 3: He's twenty three.
Speaker 1: He bought a house and he's been with his girlfriend
Speaker 1: for about, I don't know, a year and they just
Speaker 1: move in together and they're just doing life. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: they're twenty three.
Speaker 3: How the fuck do they have that figured out? And
Speaker 3: what's wrong with me?
Speaker 2: Nothing is wrong with you. Different experience different.
Speaker 1: I know, But it's like, is it my trauma? Is
Speaker 1: it because I was a bachelorreat? Like, you know, is
Speaker 1: it people like me for what I am rather than
Speaker 1: who I am? It's like, I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: I'm trying to do the best I can with what
Speaker 1: I can, Like I'm fucking in therapy.
Speaker 3: I'm figuring it out.
Speaker 1: I don't have daddy issues, like I don't have a
Speaker 1: beautiful dad.
Speaker 2: I have.
Speaker 3: I have beautiful relationships with that.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like it interrupts my daily living.
Speaker 3: It's just like I don't know.
Speaker 2: A single sober single, Yeah, sober single Wednesday night.
Speaker 3: If you guys want to come. If you're bisexual, lesbian, yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean shout it out. But are you at those
Speaker 2: events with one eye open?
Speaker 3: Like, no, I'm working. I know this is a thing.
Speaker 2: Maybe you should be on the on the other side.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe I'm done with males. I need to go
Speaker 1: back to females.
Speaker 3: But then again, like I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Three of my exes have all messaged in the last
Speaker 1: month or so, and then all of a sudden goes yeah,
Speaker 1: like I love you and I will always love you
Speaker 1: and told me that he loves me, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: you can't say that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a goodbye call.
Speaker 1: And then another exs and reads, Oh, I read your
Speaker 1: book and I thought it was wonderful. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for talking about a relationship so friendly blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah.
Speaker 3: Just know that I'll always second one.
Speaker 1: Then another one reaches out and it's like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: really sorry and I regret how we'd we ended things.
Speaker 3: No, I love you, but why closure.
Speaker 1: I think there's a sign in this and it's like
Speaker 1: see you later, bye, goodbye, closed off, fuck off.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm cutting those strings exactly.
Speaker 1: Surely there is something in that. Yeah, but none of
Speaker 1: these guys have fought for me.
Speaker 2: How do you test someone in that in that way,
Speaker 2: like to see if they will.
Speaker 3: I don't know, and I don't fucking try it.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's just it's a matter of just walking away
Speaker 1: and just being like it is what it is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to say, this relationship that I'm in
Speaker 2: is the healthiest relationship that I've ever been in. Like, honestly,
Speaker 2: it's to the point where we're very open about having
Speaker 2: conversations about basically anything and resolving something before the end
Speaker 2: of the day like this. Yeah, there's some I said
Speaker 2: to him the other day. I sent him a message
Speaker 2: and I said, hey, I just want to say I
Speaker 2: was at the gym. We just left the cafe. I
Speaker 2: went to the gym. He went home and him a message.
Speaker 2: I said, Hey, babe, I just want to say, it's
Speaker 2: so beautiful how we can talk so openly about like
Speaker 2: our issues and our relationship. And I want to say that,
Speaker 2: like I'm so happy our relationship is so healthy in
Speaker 2: this way, and like we communicate so openly about that stuff.
Speaker 2: And I think that we've both had very different experiences
Speaker 2: in the past to what we're experiencing now, so we're
Speaker 2: trialing all the new things and like even to the
Speaker 2: point where like growth, it's growth, it's absolute growth, and
Speaker 2: it really is just a beautiful thing to experience because
Speaker 2: I don't have any pressure. I don't get any pressure
Speaker 2: in this relationship to be anything or to try and
Speaker 2: make it like amazing or it's just it is what
Speaker 2: it is. But also we had a funny conversation yesterday
Speaker 2: about never talking about breaking up. Yeah, how sometimes it's
Speaker 2: like you have stupid conversations around if we broke up,
Speaker 2: or doing hypotheticals about like which still still love me?
Speaker 2: And even though it's cute, like let's not like bring
Speaker 2: that energy into our relationship, I've always questions for each other.
Speaker 2: Yeah it's here, I'm showing you, you know, like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh you do that.
Speaker 2: Stop?
Speaker 3: Why do you hate me?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Why do you hate me?
Speaker 1: I do that a lot and I on that actually though,
Speaker 1: and it's like so beautiful to hear that all the
Speaker 1: work that you do is showing in your relationship.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like I'm doing all this work, but I
Speaker 1: don't know what it's like to be in a relationship.
Speaker 3: Like I've completely kind.
Speaker 2: Of forgotten Yeah, okay, because I've just.
Speaker 1: Been doing things by myself and doing work, like I
Speaker 1: don't know if my work is going to be worth it.
Speaker 3: At some points, I question whether I've done enough work.
Speaker 3: But I have.
Speaker 1: I know that I have, but I don't I doubt
Speaker 1: myself because it's like, well, I don't know until it's
Speaker 1: going to be happening. Yeah, and I haven't got to
Speaker 1: that point.
Speaker 2: So the person that you're seeing now keeping a casual
Speaker 2: but yeah, what are the feelings you have towards them?
Speaker 1: Like similar to you and Danny, I guess in a
Speaker 1: sense where it's very open and it's very open on communication. Ye,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of green flags, Like I'm testing the
Speaker 1: waters very quickly, like I'm like saying things like okay.
Speaker 3: Good answer. You know like I and I shouldn't. I
Speaker 3: shouldn't do that, I should just let it happen.
Speaker 1: But I'm just like, I don't want to waste my time,
Speaker 1: and I think I need to get that out of
Speaker 1: my brain. So I feel that there's a lot of
Speaker 1: green flags. They're very open. He's very open communicator, which
Speaker 1: is good.
Speaker 2: I mean, just take it day by day, like when
Speaker 2: you when you start feeling the pressure, don't feel like
Speaker 2: you need to escape.
Speaker 3: Well, that's my thing though, as much challenge, well I
Speaker 3: just run away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you have to think, Okay, when you get
Speaker 2: through something like that, the pressure or the challenge, you
Speaker 2: have to see how they react to it as well.
Speaker 2: If they're comforting and if it's a safe place for
Speaker 2: you to show that side of yourself and for them
Speaker 2: to comfort you in it. And you get to the
Speaker 2: other side. That's like a building block. That's a brick
Speaker 2: when you come up against those challenges again, all the pressure,
Speaker 2: it's a mental block for you. But if you can
Speaker 2: get past it with someone figure you navigate through it
Speaker 2: with them, that will create a stronger foundation. Like that's
Speaker 2: how I saw my challenges with Denny. Like even in
Speaker 2: the beginning, I remember I said my time, I said
Speaker 2: to him, well you're gone tomorrow. Like I literally said,
Speaker 2: well you're gone tomorrow, Like how rude. He took that
Speaker 2: as like like obviously fucking rude, but he was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: he's in his moment, he's having this reaction to something.
Speaker 2: The next morning we had another conversation. I apologized, and
Speaker 2: it was like a building block of me going, oh,
Speaker 2: he's not going to just react to my rudeness or
Speaker 2: like immaturity. He's going to like take a moment, wait
Speaker 2: for me to apologize and then have a proper conversation.
Speaker 2: That built like such a strong like start relationships.
Speaker 3: In your behalf. But it worked because it worked.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that's also try you know that kind
Speaker 1: of what I tried to do is, you know, test
Speaker 1: the waters agains, and I shouldn't do it all the time,
Speaker 1: but the time because it's like, well am I the
Speaker 1: learning how you deal with things, how you respond, and
Speaker 1: how you're willing to work through them.
Speaker 3: And that's the whole thing.
Speaker 1: A relationship, isn't it about sometimes the love itself. It's
Speaker 1: about how you figure out and work things through.
Speaker 2: And figure out it to have respect for you and
Speaker 2: not like not superficial respect, actual respect, because respect will
Speaker 2: allow them to take care of you and to make
Speaker 2: good decisions based on like how they feel towards you.
Speaker 2: If they don't respect you, and if they just say
Speaker 2: they're doing the actions, aren't there, You're going to figure
Speaker 2: out pretty quickly that they're going to have some moves
Speaker 2: that are going to be easy for you to disregard
Speaker 2: and leave. But I also think that I am not
Speaker 2: the best person to give advice on this. I'm such
Speaker 2: like a one track minded person when it comes to relationships,
Speaker 2: and I feel like I've been in a relationship hardly
Speaker 2: ever dated and that I'm in another relationship. So I'm
Speaker 2: not the best person. But I feel like our listeners,
Speaker 2: I feel like they will have some either advice or.
Speaker 1: Fucking give me any advice, Like we.
Speaker 2: Should put a co out to them about, you know,
Speaker 2: just about relationships in general, and you know, if they're
Speaker 2: loyal listeners, maybe they have some advice that you know,
Speaker 2: they've heard some things over the time of the pod
Speaker 2: that maybe they'll be able to help up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe they've listened to me fucking go on about
Speaker 1: this for months and months and months and months that
Speaker 1: they're like, I'm sick of hearing this ship Brook, this
Speaker 1: is what you need, blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: Well let's open it up to the floor. Yeah, post
Speaker 2: on our Instagram. But if you have any also, I
Speaker 2: want to know some juicy dilemmas, like do you have
Speaker 2: any relationship dilemmas that have unfolded in your life that
Speaker 2: you want to share with us that maybe has come
Speaker 2: to a great resolution. Ascus First, I love it. What
Speaker 2: do you want to hear from them?
Speaker 1: I think I want to know if there's any other women,
Speaker 1: particularly that are in similar situations with me, with having
Speaker 1: some difficulty around finding their person or relationships, Like I
Speaker 1: want to know what their journey has been like and
Speaker 1: what their experiences have been like, whether they've had similar
Speaker 1: to me where they've gone all in and it's not
Speaker 1: worked out, or they've half asked done something and then
Speaker 1: it happens to be like a good person and then
Speaker 1: they end up with them.
Speaker 3: I want to know also, like.
Speaker 1: I guess some hopeful stories that give me a little
Speaker 1: bit of hope, because I feel like I need that
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 2: I love this well. I also just had like a
Speaker 2: light bulb moment, why don't you and I create a
Speaker 2: TV show called Marry the Mob and it's fun. It's
Speaker 2: for single people to blackfellows to find their matchtch it
Speaker 2: love it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? All right, well that's all we have time for today.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to First things First,
Speaker 1: if you love what you hear, leave us a reading
Speaker 1: and a review.
Speaker 2: I think you want us to cover anything on the pod.
Speaker 2: Reach out by our socials books. Handle is at brook
Speaker 2: dot blurt and money is at its Matty Meals And
Speaker 2: we'll see you next time.
Speaker 3: Bye,