Speaker 1: In the book.
Speaker 2: That's not going anywhere, that's anyway.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to dilemma Thursdays, because I feel like we
Speaker 3: just do a lot of dilemmas.
Speaker 2: I like dilemma the same.
Speaker 4: It's very good.
Speaker 2: It's always really nice to.
Speaker 3: You.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Do you have any dilemmas in your life at the moment?
Speaker 2: I just have.
Speaker 5: I actually, yeah, well I think I'll mention for the
Speaker 5: sake of like everyone knowing that not everyone's life is perfect.
Speaker 5: My dilemma is I honestly just feel like I've been
Speaker 5: like so flat these last two weeks. I had depression
Speaker 5: when I was younger, and I almost feel like I'm
Speaker 5: feeling it creeping back in my life, which is quite scary.
Speaker 5: I don't know, it's like nothing excites me anymore, you know,
Speaker 5: I'm just really I don't want to go anywhere, like everything,
Speaker 5: nothing is more exciting than just sitting at home by
Speaker 5: myself doing absolutely nothing. And I'm really struggling to do things,
Speaker 5: like I'm canceling my PT all the time. I can't
Speaker 5: get out of bed before twelve, Like something is just
Speaker 5: up in my brain right now, and because I can't
Speaker 5: pinpoint what's causing it, I'm really struggling to get a
Speaker 5: manager like a hold on it. But I'm going to
Speaker 5: go coast tomorrow with a le reset, which I think
Speaker 5: I'm almost like holding on and hoping it will be
Speaker 5: a little reset for me and then when I get back,
Speaker 5: I can just get back into things. You know, I
Speaker 5: know not a lot of people are lucky enough to
Speaker 5: have that chance to be able to go away and
Speaker 5: hope it causes a reset, but just know that, you know,
Speaker 5: it's I think this kind of year is a bit
Speaker 5: of a slump, and there's a lot of people are
Speaker 5: feeling this way.
Speaker 3: So I think Easy and I both feeling that, Like
Speaker 3: you guys know it. Two weeks ago, I wasn't on
Speaker 3: the podcast. I'm just like not enjoying life.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Period.
Speaker 2: I think it's a slump of this time of year.
Speaker 5: I think there's probably so many of you listening to
Speaker 5: this that feel the exact same.
Speaker 3: And you want to be excited because there's so many
Speaker 3: good things going on, there, so many events and stuff
Speaker 3: like that going onto the year.
Speaker 4: But it's like I I like.
Speaker 3: Not twelve pm like you, but like I would like
Speaker 3: be out of bed, out of workout class at eight
Speaker 3: am and I'm like, I'm not fucking going like I
Speaker 3: loved going for a walk in the morning. I haven't
Speaker 3: gone for a walk around like my normal area for
Speaker 3: like weeks, just because I'm like, that just seems like
Speaker 3: it's how.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a weird slump.
Speaker 5: I think with this summer, you and the weather gets warmer,
Speaker 5: but you feel like your spirits aren't lifting as well.
Speaker 5: It's almost like it's a weird sort of feeling.
Speaker 3: So yeah, And I'm like I had a I feel
Speaker 3: really lonely, like I feel so long.
Speaker 2: It's hard to be single at this time of year.
Speaker 3: I think, Yeah, but even like that, like even friend wise,
Speaker 3: like I'm not speaking about you, but like I don't
Speaker 3: feel like my friends are reaching out. I don't feel
Speaker 3: like I'm like anyone's option to want to hang out
Speaker 3: with me. And I'm like, I feel like I'm the
Speaker 3: one who's asking other people. And it's like, when am
Speaker 3: I ever going to be considered?
Speaker 4: It is sad.
Speaker 3: It is sad, but that are our dilemmas.
Speaker 5: We do tell you this stuff just so you know
Speaker 5: that you're not all universal experience really, so.
Speaker 4: No matter how good your life looks.
Speaker 5: Online, like and I think time look I actually am
Speaker 5: going to see a psychologist. I think there's no harm
Speaker 5: in doing it, So if anyone is considering it, I
Speaker 5: think it's always a good option because I'm like, what
Speaker 5: can I lose from going there? I do think the
Speaker 5: last couple of weeks, I've realized I do have some
Speaker 5: relationship issues that I haven't overcome from my past relationships,
Speaker 5: which is affecting me and moving forward and like being
Speaker 5: able to even care about connecting to someone else, like
Speaker 5: I've been on a couple of dates recently and like
Speaker 5: I'll just be kind of there going I honestly like
Speaker 5: don't really give a fuck about being here, being at home,
Speaker 5: Like I I'm really struggling to connect with people because
Speaker 5: I think I put a lot of pressure on it
Speaker 5: because I don't want it to be like how it
Speaker 5: used to be with my last boyfriend. So yes, I'm
Speaker 5: going to go talk to someone. I'll let you know
Speaker 5: how that's going. But I just think what's the harm?
Speaker 5: So if you have that option available, maybe it's worth
Speaker 5: looking into, you know.
Speaker 3: Definitely, I'm going and seeing a kinesiologist. Same, Yeah, well
Speaker 3: see how much I think will be really good because
Speaker 3: I've got a lot of trauma but like I am
Speaker 3: a very good like pulling things to the back of
Speaker 3: my mind that I actually don't know why I'm depressed,
Speaker 3: and I don't know why I'm sad, and I don't
Speaker 3: know why I don't open up to people. And then
Speaker 3: I think it'll be really good for you.
Speaker 5: Sure a big talker about your feelings, so I think
Speaker 5: it will be probably work wonders.
Speaker 2: So I'm excited to.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll let you know.
Speaker 2: That's a cool journey before mine.
Speaker 4: So yeah, on the twenty seventh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm excited to see.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh, we're going to share your dilemmas as well,
Speaker 3: because the problem shared is a problem halved.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and not everything's about us also that.
Speaker 3: Too, anyway, Dilemma number one. Okay, so I'm probably every
Speaker 3: girl's worst nightmare. I'm the girl best friend, but I
Speaker 3: never thought I was a problem in our friendship.
Speaker 2: Let's just see the story.
Speaker 4: Let's not make a jogment first.
Speaker 3: So this boy I met in year twelve, let's call
Speaker 3: him Bruce.
Speaker 4: Bruce, we were very close.
Speaker 3: Maybe at one time we both had feelings for each other,
Speaker 3: but nothing went anywhere because we both knew that we're.
Speaker 4: Better as friends.
Speaker 3: Flash forward four years. He's in a relationship with this girl.
Speaker 3: She does not like me because we were so close.
Speaker 3: I don't think it's fair that she doesn't like you
Speaker 3: off the bat, when she's got nothing to not like
Speaker 3: you all.
Speaker 4: But it could be an intuition.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it can be. Okay if you met prior to dating,
Speaker 5: like that's their friend. You can't cut them out just
Speaker 5: because you're feeling self conscious around them, you know, agreed.
Speaker 3: Although we stopped talking for six months because of her,
Speaker 3: I never knew why she didn't like me. I thought
Speaker 3: she was being unreasonable and petty. Turns out he had
Speaker 3: been saying to her, let's say, my name is Taylor.
Speaker 4: Stop always trying so hard. You'll never be as good
Speaker 4: as Taylor.
Speaker 2: Oh that is so fucked up.
Speaker 4: That's that's Bruce's though through and through.
Speaker 2: But that you never fucking say that.
Speaker 3: And he always said, I will always pick Taylor over you.
Speaker 4: Oh I dump him.
Speaker 2: I just dump him.
Speaker 5: There's no point having a guy in your life that
Speaker 5: puts another female that's not like a direct family member
Speaker 5: over you like that, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: We would always play fight in front of her, be
Speaker 3: very touchy, especially when he was.
Speaker 5: But you shouldn't be You should have said that boundary
Speaker 5: as well. He should not be doing that, and best
Speaker 5: believe this is him in the pain wrong. But if
Speaker 5: you do feel like someone's uncomfortable, I'd pull back the
Speaker 5: interactions that are touchy and like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, to make her feel better.
Speaker 4: Now they break up.
Speaker 3: A few months later, Bruce and I go on a
Speaker 3: trip down South for New Year's Eve with other people. Again,
Speaker 3: very touchy with me, always been like this, nothing happens.
Speaker 2: He obviously likes you. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Perfect.
Speaker 3: I don't know one friend guy friend that's really touchy
Speaker 3: with me.
Speaker 2: I have friends that are touch with me, but do
Speaker 2: they like you? Though secretly they did it something.
Speaker 3: Exactly Like every guy friend that I think is really
Speaker 3: touchy with me has had.
Speaker 4: A thing for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 3: But it's like, oh, they know they're not going to
Speaker 3: get it. I would you going to accept that yet?
Speaker 5: I'm not like, I'm a touchy person, but I was
Speaker 5: gonna say, I'm not even touchy with girlfriends. But you're
Speaker 5: kind of a yeah, but yeah, I don't think it's appropriate.
Speaker 2: I think he likes you.
Speaker 3: Flush forward a few months into the year, we go
Speaker 3: out for dinner with a couple of friends again, very
Speaker 3: touchy with me again. We sat down at this bar
Speaker 3: and his lady comes up to us and says, are
Speaker 3: you dating. We both look at each other and goes, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: She goes, stop trying to pretend you both don't like
Speaker 3: each other.
Speaker 4: Wow. Yeah.
Speaker 3: We both go back to mind and he says to me,
Speaker 3: were you upset with me that I said we were
Speaker 3: just friends? I said, well, no, if something was going
Speaker 3: to happen between us, you need to be one hundred
Speaker 3: percent sure of it. Don't just sleep with me for
Speaker 3: the sake of sleeping with me. He acknowledges what I
Speaker 3: say and goes home. A few months later, he comes
Speaker 3: over to mine. We played board games all night, chat
Speaker 3: and drink, and sure enough, we end up sleeping together, which,
Speaker 3: by the way, he initiated in the morning when we're.
Speaker 4: Both sober after we had sex. He then proceeds to.
Speaker 3: Tell me he doesn't want a relationship three options fucking
Speaker 3: and he worries that Taylor.
Speaker 4: Has three options.
Speaker 3: One pretend that it ever happened, Two acknowledges that happened
Speaker 3: and move on, or three become fucked bodies.
Speaker 2: This guy is the fucking problem.
Speaker 4: He's a walking red flag.
Speaker 5: I said, unless you're serious about it, we're not going there.
Speaker 5: He did it anyways, and now he's given you three
Speaker 5: red flag fucking options.
Speaker 2: Nothing's gonna be No. Fuck this guy, what's his name? Bruce? Bruce.
Speaker 3: I looked at him in absolute shock. I did not
Speaker 3: know what to even say. We ended up talking about
Speaker 3: it one night, drunk at a party and he proceeds
Speaker 3: to say, I wanted to explore things with you this year.
Speaker 3: I just don't know what came over me when that happened.
Speaker 3: I just love you.
Speaker 4: My reaction was what the fuck? My reactions what the fuck?
Speaker 1: To no?
Speaker 3: Turns out a few weeks later, which I found out
Speaker 3: from his mum because she was on speakerphone, that he
Speaker 3: had a girl coming over from Sydney to see him.
Speaker 3: I looked at him and said, are you fucking serious
Speaker 3: and go home?
Speaker 5: Maybe if you have a wait like this for the
Speaker 5: last fucking thirty seconds. I hate this fucking guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's taking a few weeks.
Speaker 4: Later, I ended up testing positive for clubs.
Speaker 5: Oh no, no, Why was comdia and not been able
Speaker 5: to leave our fucking submissions?
Speaker 2: Recently? Everyone has familiar.
Speaker 3: Us, and so does and so does he. He has
Speaker 3: to lie to this girl why he can't sleep with her.
Speaker 4: I was beyond mad.
Speaker 3: He put me in a situation saying why can't you
Speaker 3: move past this?
Speaker 4: And my reaction was cut, are you fucking serious?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: I'm really well over that. That boy's fucking fucked up.
Speaker 1: NU.
Speaker 3: What makes it worse is that Will meant to go
Speaker 3: to Wigh together and I canceled on that. Now a
Speaker 3: few months later to today, him and his girlfriend have
Speaker 3: broken up. Only been together for a month.
Speaker 2: Oh so that chick that he flew in from Sydney
Speaker 2: they ended up dating from him? Yeah, okay, glad.
Speaker 4: It was worth it, Bruce.
Speaker 3: Now, I have no idea what to do. I haven't
Speaker 3: spoken to him for a month. When I saw him
Speaker 3: at the pub, he last goes, you haven't responded to me.
Speaker 3: My girlfriend and I broke up, and I said, oh, no,
Speaker 3: hope you're okay?
Speaker 4: Girls? What do I do?
Speaker 3: We've been friends for so long and I can't believe
Speaker 3: he treated me like that. You can sleep with any girl? Why?
Speaker 2: I mean, you absolutely need to just keep to get
Speaker 2: this guy out here.
Speaker 4: You need to walk away.
Speaker 3: If he's right for you, he'll come back with you
Speaker 3: and he'll fucking work his ass off, but like he
Speaker 3: just knows that he can take for a ride, and
Speaker 3: like when he's born, he'll just go back to you
Speaker 3: and you'll give him the at Like.
Speaker 5: I don't actually hang out around a lot of guys that,
Speaker 5: like I feel like they literally just want sex, do
Speaker 5: you know what I mean? Like even my friends watching
Speaker 5: them dating, Like, it's not often that like I will
Speaker 5: see that. I just think he knows he can manipulate you,
Speaker 5: and he is just gonna do the exact same thing again.
Speaker 2: Honestly, you need to see the red flags.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just need to hold yourself to a high
Speaker 3: ground and say I deserve to be respected, Hi, even
Speaker 3: though because we are friends, more like you should be
Speaker 3: considering my feelings.
Speaker 2: We were friends for so long.
Speaker 5: Why would you like that that It's like exactly, you
Speaker 5: were friends for so long and he still did that
Speaker 5: to you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, anyway, fuck bros, Fuck Bruce, Hey girls, Hey
Speaker 1: the but.
Speaker 2: That was like a real fucking laugh.
Speaker 4: Oh sorry, it was good.
Speaker 2: It was not all right. I hope, I really hope
Speaker 2: you guys can help me because I need it. Girl,
Speaker 2: We'll try.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I put my doctor hat on currently.
Speaker 5: Been an emotional wreck the last couple weeks over my
Speaker 5: relationship with my boyfriend. We've been dating for almost two
Speaker 5: years and I truly love him, but I really struggle
Speaker 5: with his introverted side. Recently, I've been going out a
Speaker 5: lot and meeting new friends, and I feel this has
Speaker 5: made me feel a type of way towards my boyfriend's
Speaker 5: shy personality.
Speaker 4: He's super play about me.
Speaker 5: True, he's super quiet around my family and friends, and
Speaker 5: that's just his kind of personality. But with me, he's
Speaker 5: the most energetic, fun person who I love.
Speaker 4: Dude. This is about.
Speaker 5: Anyways, I've been comparing him recently to my guy friends
Speaker 5: and secretly wishing he could be more socialable or even
Speaker 5: just louder around my family and friends, as some find
Speaker 5: it hard to have a conversation with him. I'm really
Speaker 5: struggling with this and even thinking about trying to go
Speaker 5: on a break to try and understand why I care
Speaker 5: so much about this.
Speaker 2: I need your girl's advice. I feel devastated. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: you take it away.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take it away this one because probably spilling
Speaker 3: away too much details about my past relationship. My ex
Speaker 3: was a really big introvert and I was a massive extrovert,
Speaker 3: and I always like, I didn't think it was a problem,
Speaker 3: but it always played in my mind because I was
Speaker 3: kind of like, why is he not or more outgoing?
Speaker 3: And I always like used to almost like preface to
Speaker 3: people that he was such an introvert because he was that.
Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, he's not rude, he's just like
Speaker 3: shy and everything like that. And I always like had
Speaker 3: like a thing in the back of my mind being like,
Speaker 3: maybe I'd be better off with an extrovert from experiences
Speaker 3: with my brother, he's an extrovert and dated a really
Speaker 3: big extrovert, and you end up clashing heads. By the
Speaker 3: sounds you're a really big social butterfly. You like going out.
Speaker 3: He probably levels you out in a way that you
Speaker 3: don't realize that you need it, because he always will
Speaker 3: let you have the spotlight. He's happy just watching, he's
Speaker 3: happy just being a part of the situation without being
Speaker 3: a spotlight of the situation, which I think would actually
Speaker 3: compliment you really well. I think you're you've got a
Speaker 3: negative how on towards how he is. I think he
Speaker 3: should really turn it into a positive because you're kind
Speaker 3: of thinking right now, is the grass greener?
Speaker 4: And I can vouch for.
Speaker 3: It's not because I then saw an extrovert for a
Speaker 3: little bit this year and I didn't like it, Like
Speaker 3: it really helps it, like it doesn't matter who he is, and.
Speaker 5: Like competing the spotlight when an extrovert or extra.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes it's actually, yeah, we really challenging.
Speaker 3: And it's actually probably a really good, like grounding thing
Speaker 3: that he is an introvert and that he is like
Speaker 3: himself around you and he doesn't give that to everybody else,
Speaker 3: and he's giving you all of that attention and you
Speaker 3: get to see the real him behind closed doors and
Speaker 3: he's not really wanting to show that to everybody else.
Speaker 3: And I think that's actually a really beautiful thing instead
Speaker 3: of turning it into a negative thing, because I did
Speaker 3: think it was a negative thing for a really long time.
Speaker 3: And now upon reflection of like when our relationship ended
Speaker 3: and there's been so much time, I can now appreciate
Speaker 3: that that was a really good thing of our relationship.
Speaker 5: Also, though I would worry whether, like you're probably thinking,
Speaker 5: do I mention it to him about like how he's
Speaker 5: shy around my family and friends, I'm honestly gonna say no.
Speaker 5: I think people open up with time and when they're comfortable. Yeah,
Speaker 5: And like I can sometimes be anxious in certain social settings,
Speaker 5: and like even at work or something, and someone tells
Speaker 5: me you need to put yourself out, that you need
Speaker 5: to have more conversations, you need to talk more, I
Speaker 5: get so scared and it ends up making me pull
Speaker 5: in more. So I'm saying, I honestly just think you
Speaker 5: need to appreciate the things that are great about him
Speaker 5: and give him the time to feel comfortable and open up.
Speaker 3: He just might not want to open up to a
Speaker 3: lot of people, and that's okay. Like it's not a
Speaker 3: negative thing about him. It's just a differencing thing between
Speaker 3: you and him, and that's okay as long as you
Speaker 3: understand that. But doesn't mean you're right and he's wrong.
Speaker 5: And you don't want to make him feel like that
Speaker 5: part of his personality is a negative thing. Like if
Speaker 5: someone told me you're way too extroverted, Like I don't
Speaker 5: like the way that you have conversations with everyone. It's
Speaker 5: like you're gonna get really self conscious. You're gonna be
Speaker 5: thinking about how you're acting. So I think going on
Speaker 5: a break for that sake, if you were to say
Speaker 5: to him, I think you're too introverted. I don't think
Speaker 5: you would be able to kind of recover from something
Speaker 5: like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because that's too he is as a person, And
Speaker 3: I think you like, obviously you're thinking negatively about it
Speaker 3: right now, but I think you need to turn it
Speaker 3: into a positive because it's going to be a really
Speaker 3: beautiful thing about your relationship that you're the one who
Speaker 3: brings out a bubbly side of him, but he doesn't
Speaker 3: get to see that.
Speaker 5: And the longer you're together, the more comfortable he'll be
Speaker 5: around people that love you.
Speaker 2: And your family and your friends, and hopefully.
Speaker 3: Because you always want what you can't have, and the
Speaker 3: girls ain't greener sometimes really ain't really ain't good Bye.
Speaker 3: I hope you're all right, babe.
Speaker 2: Well, we love you all. That was just for a
Speaker 2: girls girls guide.
Speaker 3: Make sure you guys buy tickets to spend time with
Speaker 3: us at the Christmas party and drink some food at
Speaker 3: Arboria Float on the eleventh of December six to nine pm,
Speaker 3: six to ten pm.
Speaker 4: Sorry, we love you
Speaker 3: So much, Love you Bye.