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Speaker 1: In the book.

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Speaker 2: That's not going anywhere, that's anyway.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back to dilemma Thursdays, because I feel like we

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Speaker 3: just do a lot of dilemmas.

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Speaker 2: I like dilemma the same.

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Speaker 4: It's very good.

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Speaker 2: It's always really nice to.

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Speaker 3: You.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Do you have any dilemmas in your life at the moment?

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Speaker 2: I just have.

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Speaker 5: I actually, yeah, well I think I'll mention for the

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Speaker 5: sake of like everyone knowing that not everyone's life is perfect.

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Speaker 5: My dilemma is I honestly just feel like I've been

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Speaker 5: like so flat these last two weeks. I had depression

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Speaker 5: when I was younger, and I almost feel like I'm

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Speaker 5: feeling it creeping back in my life, which is quite scary.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, it's like nothing excites me anymore, you know,

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Speaker 5: I'm just really I don't want to go anywhere, like everything,

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Speaker 5: nothing is more exciting than just sitting at home by

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Speaker 5: myself doing absolutely nothing. And I'm really struggling to do things,

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Speaker 5: like I'm canceling my PT all the time. I can't

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Speaker 5: get out of bed before twelve, Like something is just

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Speaker 5: up in my brain right now, and because I can't

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Speaker 5: pinpoint what's causing it, I'm really struggling to get a

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Speaker 5: manager like a hold on it. But I'm going to

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Speaker 5: go coast tomorrow with a le reset, which I think

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Speaker 5: I'm almost like holding on and hoping it will be

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Speaker 5: a little reset for me and then when I get back,

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Speaker 5: I can just get back into things. You know, I

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Speaker 5: know not a lot of people are lucky enough to

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Speaker 5: have that chance to be able to go away and

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Speaker 5: hope it causes a reset, but just know that, you know,

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Speaker 5: it's I think this kind of year is a bit

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Speaker 5: of a slump, and there's a lot of people are

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Speaker 5: feeling this way.

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Speaker 3: So I think Easy and I both feeling that, Like

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Speaker 3: you guys know it. Two weeks ago, I wasn't on

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Speaker 3: the podcast. I'm just like not enjoying life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Period.

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Speaker 2: I think it's a slump of this time of year.

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Speaker 5: I think there's probably so many of you listening to

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Speaker 5: this that feel the exact same.

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Speaker 3: And you want to be excited because there's so many

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Speaker 3: good things going on, there, so many events and stuff

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Speaker 3: like that going onto the year.

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Speaker 4: But it's like I I like.

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Speaker 3: Not twelve pm like you, but like I would like

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Speaker 3: be out of bed, out of workout class at eight

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Speaker 3: am and I'm like, I'm not fucking going like I

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Speaker 3: loved going for a walk in the morning. I haven't

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Speaker 3: gone for a walk around like my normal area for

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Speaker 3: like weeks, just because I'm like, that just seems like

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Speaker 3: it's how.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, a weird slump.

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Speaker 5: I think with this summer, you and the weather gets warmer,

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Speaker 5: but you feel like your spirits aren't lifting as well.

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Speaker 5: It's almost like it's a weird sort of feeling.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, And I'm like I had a I feel

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Speaker 3: really lonely, like I feel so long.

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Speaker 2: It's hard to be single at this time of year.

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Speaker 3: I think, Yeah, but even like that, like even friend wise,

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Speaker 3: like I'm not speaking about you, but like I don't

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Speaker 3: feel like my friends are reaching out. I don't feel

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Speaker 3: like I'm like anyone's option to want to hang out

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Speaker 3: with me. And I'm like, I feel like I'm the

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Speaker 3: one who's asking other people. And it's like, when am

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Speaker 3: I ever going to be considered?

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Speaker 4: It is sad.

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Speaker 3: It is sad, but that are our dilemmas.

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Speaker 5: We do tell you this stuff just so you know

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Speaker 5: that you're not all universal experience really, so.

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Speaker 4: No matter how good your life looks.

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Speaker 5: Online, like and I think time look I actually am

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Speaker 5: going to see a psychologist. I think there's no harm

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Speaker 5: in doing it, So if anyone is considering it, I

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Speaker 5: think it's always a good option because I'm like, what

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Speaker 5: can I lose from going there? I do think the

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Speaker 5: last couple of weeks, I've realized I do have some

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Speaker 5: relationship issues that I haven't overcome from my past relationships,

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Speaker 5: which is affecting me and moving forward and like being

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Speaker 5: able to even care about connecting to someone else, like

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Speaker 5: I've been on a couple of dates recently and like

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Speaker 5: I'll just be kind of there going I honestly like

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Speaker 5: don't really give a fuck about being here, being at home,

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Speaker 5: Like I I'm really struggling to connect with people because

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Speaker 5: I think I put a lot of pressure on it

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Speaker 5: because I don't want it to be like how it

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Speaker 5: used to be with my last boyfriend. So yes, I'm

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Speaker 5: going to go talk to someone. I'll let you know

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Speaker 5: how that's going. But I just think what's the harm?

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Speaker 5: So if you have that option available, maybe it's worth

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Speaker 5: looking into, you know.

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Speaker 3: Definitely, I'm going and seeing a kinesiologist. Same, Yeah, well

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Speaker 3: see how much I think will be really good because

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Speaker 3: I've got a lot of trauma but like I am

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Speaker 3: a very good like pulling things to the back of

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Speaker 3: my mind that I actually don't know why I'm depressed,

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Speaker 3: and I don't know why I'm sad, and I don't

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Speaker 3: know why I don't open up to people. And then

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Speaker 3: I think it'll be really good for you.

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Speaker 5: Sure a big talker about your feelings, so I think

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Speaker 5: it will be probably work wonders.

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Speaker 2: So I'm excited to.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll let you know.

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Speaker 2: That's a cool journey before mine.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, on the twenty seventh.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm excited to see.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh, we're going to share your dilemmas as well,

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Speaker 3: because the problem shared is a problem halved.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and not everything's about us also that.

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Speaker 3: Too, anyway, Dilemma number one. Okay, so I'm probably every

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Speaker 3: girl's worst nightmare. I'm the girl best friend, but I

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Speaker 3: never thought I was a problem in our friendship.

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Speaker 2: Let's just see the story.

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Speaker 4: Let's not make a jogment first.

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Speaker 3: So this boy I met in year twelve, let's call

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Speaker 3: him Bruce.

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Speaker 4: Bruce, we were very close.

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Speaker 3: Maybe at one time we both had feelings for each other,

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Speaker 3: but nothing went anywhere because we both knew that we're.

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Speaker 4: Better as friends.

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Speaker 3: Flash forward four years. He's in a relationship with this girl.

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Speaker 3: She does not like me because we were so close.

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Speaker 3: I don't think it's fair that she doesn't like you

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Speaker 3: off the bat, when she's got nothing to not like

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Speaker 3: you all.

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Speaker 4: But it could be an intuition.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it can be. Okay if you met prior to dating,

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Speaker 5: like that's their friend. You can't cut them out just

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Speaker 5: because you're feeling self conscious around them, you know, agreed.

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Speaker 3: Although we stopped talking for six months because of her,

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Speaker 3: I never knew why she didn't like me. I thought

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Speaker 3: she was being unreasonable and petty. Turns out he had

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Speaker 3: been saying to her, let's say, my name is Taylor.

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Speaker 4: Stop always trying so hard. You'll never be as good

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Speaker 4: as Taylor.

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Speaker 2: Oh that is so fucked up.

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Speaker 4: That's that's Bruce's though through and through.

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Speaker 2: But that you never fucking say that.

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Speaker 3: And he always said, I will always pick Taylor over you.

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Speaker 4: Oh I dump him.

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Speaker 2: I just dump him.

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Speaker 5: There's no point having a guy in your life that

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Speaker 5: puts another female that's not like a direct family member

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Speaker 5: over you like that, do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: We would always play fight in front of her, be

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Speaker 3: very touchy, especially when he was.

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Speaker 5: But you shouldn't be You should have said that boundary

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Speaker 5: as well. He should not be doing that, and best

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Speaker 5: believe this is him in the pain wrong. But if

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Speaker 5: you do feel like someone's uncomfortable, I'd pull back the

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Speaker 5: interactions that are touchy and like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, to make her feel better.

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Speaker 4: Now they break up.

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Speaker 3: A few months later, Bruce and I go on a

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Speaker 3: trip down South for New Year's Eve with other people. Again,

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Speaker 3: very touchy with me, always been like this, nothing happens.

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Speaker 2: He obviously likes you. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Perfect.

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Speaker 3: I don't know one friend guy friend that's really touchy

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Speaker 3: with me.

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Speaker 2: I have friends that are touch with me, but do

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Speaker 2: they like you? Though secretly they did it something.

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Speaker 3: Exactly Like every guy friend that I think is really

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Speaker 3: touchy with me has had.

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Speaker 4: A thing for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.

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Speaker 3: But it's like, oh, they know they're not going to

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Speaker 3: get it. I would you going to accept that yet?

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Speaker 5: I'm not like, I'm a touchy person, but I was

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Speaker 5: gonna say, I'm not even touchy with girlfriends. But you're

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Speaker 5: kind of a yeah, but yeah, I don't think it's appropriate.

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Speaker 2: I think he likes you.

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Speaker 3: Flush forward a few months into the year, we go

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Speaker 3: out for dinner with a couple of friends again, very

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Speaker 3: touchy with me again. We sat down at this bar

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Speaker 3: and his lady comes up to us and says, are

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Speaker 3: you dating. We both look at each other and goes, no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: She goes, stop trying to pretend you both don't like

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Speaker 3: each other.

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Speaker 4: Wow. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: We both go back to mind and he says to me,

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Speaker 3: were you upset with me that I said we were

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Speaker 3: just friends? I said, well, no, if something was going

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Speaker 3: to happen between us, you need to be one hundred

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Speaker 3: percent sure of it. Don't just sleep with me for

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Speaker 3: the sake of sleeping with me. He acknowledges what I

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Speaker 3: say and goes home. A few months later, he comes

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Speaker 3: over to mine. We played board games all night, chat

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Speaker 3: and drink, and sure enough, we end up sleeping together, which,

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Speaker 3: by the way, he initiated in the morning when we're.

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Speaker 4: Both sober after we had sex. He then proceeds to.

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Speaker 3: Tell me he doesn't want a relationship three options fucking

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Speaker 3: and he worries that Taylor.

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Speaker 4: Has three options.

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Speaker 3: One pretend that it ever happened, Two acknowledges that happened

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Speaker 3: and move on, or three become fucked bodies.

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Speaker 2: This guy is the fucking problem.

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Speaker 4: He's a walking red flag.

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Speaker 5: I said, unless you're serious about it, we're not going there.

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Speaker 5: He did it anyways, and now he's given you three

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Speaker 5: red flag fucking options.

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Speaker 2: Nothing's gonna be No. Fuck this guy, what's his name? Bruce? Bruce.

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Speaker 3: I looked at him in absolute shock. I did not

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Speaker 3: know what to even say. We ended up talking about

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Speaker 3: it one night, drunk at a party and he proceeds

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Speaker 3: to say, I wanted to explore things with you this year.

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Speaker 3: I just don't know what came over me when that happened.

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Speaker 3: I just love you.

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Speaker 4: My reaction was what the fuck? My reactions what the fuck?

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Speaker 1: To no?

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Speaker 3: Turns out a few weeks later, which I found out

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Speaker 3: from his mum because she was on speakerphone, that he

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Speaker 3: had a girl coming over from Sydney to see him.

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Speaker 3: I looked at him and said, are you fucking serious

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Speaker 3: and go home?

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Speaker 5: Maybe if you have a wait like this for the

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Speaker 5: last fucking thirty seconds. I hate this fucking guy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's taking a few weeks.

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Speaker 4: Later, I ended up testing positive for clubs.

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Speaker 5: Oh no, no, Why was comdia and not been able

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Speaker 5: to leave our fucking submissions?

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Speaker 2: Recently? Everyone has familiar.

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Speaker 3: Us, and so does and so does he. He has

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Speaker 3: to lie to this girl why he can't sleep with her.

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Speaker 4: I was beyond mad.

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Speaker 3: He put me in a situation saying why can't you

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Speaker 3: move past this?

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Speaker 4: And my reaction was cut, are you fucking serious?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: I'm really well over that. That boy's fucking fucked up.

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Speaker 1: NU.

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Speaker 3: What makes it worse is that Will meant to go

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Speaker 3: to Wigh together and I canceled on that. Now a

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Speaker 3: few months later to today, him and his girlfriend have

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Speaker 3: broken up. Only been together for a month.

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Speaker 2: Oh so that chick that he flew in from Sydney

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Speaker 2: they ended up dating from him? Yeah, okay, glad.

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Speaker 4: It was worth it, Bruce.

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Speaker 3: Now, I have no idea what to do. I haven't

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Speaker 3: spoken to him for a month. When I saw him

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Speaker 3: at the pub, he last goes, you haven't responded to me.

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Speaker 3: My girlfriend and I broke up, and I said, oh, no,

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Speaker 3: hope you're okay?

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Speaker 4: Girls? What do I do?

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Speaker 3: We've been friends for so long and I can't believe

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Speaker 3: he treated me like that. You can sleep with any girl? Why?

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Speaker 2: I mean, you absolutely need to just keep to get

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Speaker 2: this guy out here.

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Speaker 4: You need to walk away.

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Speaker 3: If he's right for you, he'll come back with you

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Speaker 3: and he'll fucking work his ass off, but like he

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Speaker 3: just knows that he can take for a ride, and

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Speaker 3: like when he's born, he'll just go back to you

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Speaker 3: and you'll give him the at Like.

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Speaker 5: I don't actually hang out around a lot of guys that,

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Speaker 5: like I feel like they literally just want sex, do

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Speaker 5: you know what I mean? Like even my friends watching

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Speaker 5: them dating, Like, it's not often that like I will

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Speaker 5: see that. I just think he knows he can manipulate you,

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Speaker 5: and he is just gonna do the exact same thing again.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, you need to see the red flags.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you just need to hold yourself to a high

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Speaker 3: ground and say I deserve to be respected, Hi, even

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Speaker 3: though because we are friends, more like you should be

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Speaker 3: considering my feelings.

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Speaker 2: We were friends for so long.

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Speaker 5: Why would you like that that It's like exactly, you

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Speaker 5: were friends for so long and he still did that

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Speaker 5: to you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, anyway, fuck bros, Fuck Bruce, Hey girls, Hey

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Speaker 1: the but.

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Speaker 2: That was like a real fucking laugh.

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Speaker 4: Oh sorry, it was good.

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Speaker 2: It was not all right. I hope, I really hope

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Speaker 2: you guys can help me because I need it. Girl,

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Speaker 2: We'll try.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I put my doctor hat on currently.

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Speaker 5: Been an emotional wreck the last couple weeks over my

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Speaker 5: relationship with my boyfriend. We've been dating for almost two

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Speaker 5: years and I truly love him, but I really struggle

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Speaker 5: with his introverted side. Recently, I've been going out a

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Speaker 5: lot and meeting new friends, and I feel this has

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Speaker 5: made me feel a type of way towards my boyfriend's

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Speaker 5: shy personality.

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Speaker 4: He's super play about me.

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Speaker 5: True, he's super quiet around my family and friends, and

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Speaker 5: that's just his kind of personality. But with me, he's

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Speaker 5: the most energetic, fun person who I love.

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Speaker 4: Dude. This is about.

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Speaker 5: Anyways, I've been comparing him recently to my guy friends

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Speaker 5: and secretly wishing he could be more socialable or even

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Speaker 5: just louder around my family and friends, as some find

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Speaker 5: it hard to have a conversation with him. I'm really

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Speaker 5: struggling with this and even thinking about trying to go

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Speaker 5: on a break to try and understand why I care

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Speaker 5: so much about this.

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Speaker 2: I need your girl's advice. I feel devastated. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you take it away.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna take it away this one because probably spilling

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Speaker 3: away too much details about my past relationship. My ex

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Speaker 3: was a really big introvert and I was a massive extrovert,

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Speaker 3: and I always like, I didn't think it was a problem,

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Speaker 3: but it always played in my mind because I was

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Speaker 3: kind of like, why is he not or more outgoing?

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Speaker 3: And I always like used to almost like preface to

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Speaker 3: people that he was such an introvert because he was that.

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Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, he's not rude, he's just like

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Speaker 3: shy and everything like that. And I always like had

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Speaker 3: like a thing in the back of my mind being like,

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Speaker 3: maybe I'd be better off with an extrovert from experiences

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Speaker 3: with my brother, he's an extrovert and dated a really

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Speaker 3: big extrovert, and you end up clashing heads. By the

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Speaker 3: sounds you're a really big social butterfly. You like going out.

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Speaker 3: He probably levels you out in a way that you

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Speaker 3: don't realize that you need it, because he always will

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Speaker 3: let you have the spotlight. He's happy just watching, he's

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Speaker 3: happy just being a part of the situation without being

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Speaker 3: a spotlight of the situation, which I think would actually

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Speaker 3: compliment you really well. I think you're you've got a

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Speaker 3: negative how on towards how he is. I think he

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Speaker 3: should really turn it into a positive because you're kind

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Speaker 3: of thinking right now, is the grass greener?

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Speaker 4: And I can vouch for.

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Speaker 3: It's not because I then saw an extrovert for a

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Speaker 3: little bit this year and I didn't like it, Like

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Speaker 3: it really helps it, like it doesn't matter who he is, and.

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Speaker 5: Like competing the spotlight when an extrovert or extra.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes it's actually, yeah, we really challenging.

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Speaker 3: And it's actually probably a really good, like grounding thing

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Speaker 3: that he is an introvert and that he is like

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Speaker 3: himself around you and he doesn't give that to everybody else,

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Speaker 3: and he's giving you all of that attention and you

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Speaker 3: get to see the real him behind closed doors and

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Speaker 3: he's not really wanting to show that to everybody else.

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Speaker 3: And I think that's actually a really beautiful thing instead

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Speaker 3: of turning it into a negative thing, because I did

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Speaker 3: think it was a negative thing for a really long time.

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Speaker 3: And now upon reflection of like when our relationship ended

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Speaker 3: and there's been so much time, I can now appreciate

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Speaker 3: that that was a really good thing of our relationship.

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Speaker 5: Also, though I would worry whether, like you're probably thinking,

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Speaker 5: do I mention it to him about like how he's

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Speaker 5: shy around my family and friends, I'm honestly gonna say no.

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Speaker 5: I think people open up with time and when they're comfortable. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: And like I can sometimes be anxious in certain social settings,

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Speaker 5: and like even at work or something, and someone tells

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Speaker 5: me you need to put yourself out, that you need

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Speaker 5: to have more conversations, you need to talk more, I

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Speaker 5: get so scared and it ends up making me pull

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Speaker 5: in more. So I'm saying, I honestly just think you

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Speaker 5: need to appreciate the things that are great about him

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Speaker 5: and give him the time to feel comfortable and open up.

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Speaker 3: He just might not want to open up to a

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Speaker 3: lot of people, and that's okay. Like it's not a

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Speaker 3: negative thing about him. It's just a differencing thing between

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Speaker 3: you and him, and that's okay as long as you

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Speaker 3: understand that. But doesn't mean you're right and he's wrong.

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Speaker 5: And you don't want to make him feel like that

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Speaker 5: part of his personality is a negative thing. Like if

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Speaker 5: someone told me you're way too extroverted, Like I don't

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Speaker 5: like the way that you have conversations with everyone. It's

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Speaker 5: like you're gonna get really self conscious. You're gonna be

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Speaker 5: thinking about how you're acting. So I think going on

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Speaker 5: a break for that sake, if you were to say

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Speaker 5: to him, I think you're too introverted. I don't think

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Speaker 5: you would be able to kind of recover from something

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Speaker 5: like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because that's too he is as a person, And

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Speaker 3: I think you like, obviously you're thinking negatively about it

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Speaker 3: right now, but I think you need to turn it

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Speaker 3: into a positive because it's going to be a really

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Speaker 3: beautiful thing about your relationship that you're the one who

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Speaker 3: brings out a bubbly side of him, but he doesn't

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Speaker 3: get to see that.

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Speaker 5: And the longer you're together, the more comfortable he'll be

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Speaker 5: around people that love you.

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Speaker 2: And your family and your friends, and hopefully.

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Speaker 3: Because you always want what you can't have, and the

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Speaker 3: girls ain't greener sometimes really ain't really ain't good Bye.

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Speaker 3: I hope you're all right, babe.

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Speaker 2: Well, we love you all. That was just for a

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Speaker 2: girls girls guide.

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Speaker 3: Make sure you guys buy tickets to spend time with

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Speaker 3: us at the Christmas party and drink some food at

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Speaker 3: Arboria Float on the eleventh of December six to nine pm,

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Speaker 3: six to ten pm.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, we love you

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Speaker 3: So much, Love you Bye.