Speaker 1: Really it is so time for it.
Speaker 2: Let's go girl. Okay, chickam.
Speaker 1: Do like a little page. All the ladies to Studio one, please,
Speaker 1: all the ladies. Okay, this is how this works. We
Speaker 1: have all the girls assembled here and we're going to
Speaker 1: talk about stuff that we've maybe spoken about off air
Speaker 1: that probably deserves an on air conversation.
Speaker 3: So we've got.
Speaker 1: Producer Zoe here, good morning. Zoe's in her twenties in
Speaker 1: a new relationship, relatively happy, but always a bit of
Speaker 1: a career girl as well, absolutely smashing goals at work.
Speaker 1: And we've got news reader Abby RBF face in your thirties,
Speaker 1: happily single. However, something has happened to you this week
Speaker 1: that probably needs to hit the air waves.
Speaker 3: I reckon.
Speaker 4: This has been happening to me since twenty twenty. A
Speaker 4: guy over in I think he lives it. Well, I've
Speaker 4: done some digging. I'm going to be transparent. I did
Speaker 4: a bit of digging and he lives in Melbourne. He
Speaker 4: has been messaging me on Facebook Messenger since twenty twenty,
Speaker 4: random messages every three six eight months. One time it
Speaker 4: went a year until I had heard from him. And
Speaker 4: it's just like hey, hey, Hey, you going hey, how
Speaker 4: are you? Hey, how are you? And it got to
Speaker 4: the point where I eventually just went, oh, hi, sorry,
Speaker 4: do I know you? And he goes, oh, your dog's
Speaker 4: really cute, and I didn't reply, and then it just
Speaker 4: continuously kept going, and it got to them the point
Speaker 4: that he said, you can reply, I'm not weird or anything.
Speaker 1: Oh no, now you're sounding weird.
Speaker 2: He definitely weird.
Speaker 3: But in this time as well, I did a bit
Speaker 3: of digging.
Speaker 4: As I said, he met a woman, he got engaged,
Speaker 4: he's married. This guy's married, right, and I've spoken to
Speaker 4: other people. Just before I walked in here, Maddie Roe
Speaker 4: stopped me and said, I've been getting messages on Instagram
Speaker 4: from a guy since twenty eighteen, just like random videos
Speaker 4: that he sends me. Number One, it makes me feel
Speaker 4: I'm like, it really pisss me off because as a woman,
Speaker 4: we feel not safe a lot of the time, so
Speaker 4: when you're walking out in the street, you get your
Speaker 4: keys out, all that sort of stuff. And I've got
Speaker 4: a social media account and I understand that. Yes, I'm
Speaker 4: on socials.
Speaker 3: I get that.
Speaker 4: And I'm also in a position where I am have
Speaker 4: a bit of a public profile.
Speaker 3: But the fact that.
Speaker 4: People just continuously think it's okay after not getting a
Speaker 4: reply to message you is just wrong.
Speaker 3: So number one actually gets me, Like I get a.
Speaker 4: Bit teary over this because I just feel like it's
Speaker 4: just not okay.
Speaker 1: Not Also, do you know what people can say just blocking?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: Well that's it.
Speaker 4: And so that's my thing is I've turned notifications off
Speaker 4: on my phone so randomly, all of a sudden, I've
Speaker 4: got six messages and I'm like, oh my god, and
Speaker 4: I'm so I don't know this is an excuse, but
Speaker 4: I'm so busy and I forget to do it. So, yes,
Speaker 4: number one, I should just block in, but I guess
Speaker 4: I want to know I'm wanted attention and how to
Speaker 4: deal with it? Has anyone out there had the same thing?
Speaker 4: How does it make you feel? And also who who's
Speaker 4: behind it? Like have you had a friend's boyfriend messaging you?
Speaker 4: Or have you had your boss messaging you stuff? And
Speaker 4: and what have you done about it?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, produce as you ever had it?
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I'm lucky. Not not so much when I
Speaker 6: was a bit younger, maybe like in high school and
Speaker 6: things like that. Boys just not getting the message. I
Speaker 6: did see someone for a bit, and after telling them
Speaker 6: I wasn't interested, would still rock up to my house
Speaker 6: with coffees and stuff trying to win me over them. Yeah,
Speaker 6: but you know, like different he was. He was just
Speaker 6: really trying, like he wasn't giving off creep even still.
Speaker 1: He needs to have brown Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Just rock up to someone's house.
Speaker 5: Something.
Speaker 3: You're like, I told you enough.
Speaker 2: Give me?
Speaker 6: Did you deal with this much jokes? Yeah, I've had
Speaker 6: it well, even since being married.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I've had it a bit. And I think
Speaker 1: I think it comes with the territory, do you. I
Speaker 1: shouldn't say that it shouldn't come with the territory, but
Speaker 1: I guess doing this job, Oh yeah, I have messages
Speaker 1: from the same men constantly that I never reply to
Speaker 1: the same thing. I've never felt threatened enough to block them,
Speaker 1: you know what? And also I think is why do
Speaker 1: we feel bad for blocking someone even when it's not
Speaker 1: our fault. Why do you feel like you're in the
Speaker 1: wrong because you go, that's enough.
Speaker 6: It's the same premise of I'll give us a smile
Speaker 6: that we're supposed to be yeah smiling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had, I had. I went through a stage
Speaker 1: there where someone had my phone number, and every time
Speaker 1: they would call, it would be a FaceTime of a
Speaker 1: certain part of their genitalia, to the point where I
Speaker 1: went to the police and said, what's going on here?
Speaker 1: Well that was extreme and they were like, oh, there's
Speaker 1: nothing we can do. I'm like, you can't track this
Speaker 1: the guy down and say, stop stop doing calling with you?
Speaker 1: Where's that whistle sound? You always going with the whistle sound?
Speaker 2: I needed it for the first time. It's locked away.
Speaker 7: Can ask a quick question as well, and I'm assuming
Speaker 7: and I'm hoping this is a small population of the
Speaker 7: male species, and I speak on behalf of the male species.
Speaker 2: You expose him? Why can you take a screenshot? Expose it?
Speaker 2: And then if he's engaged, can you get in contact.
Speaker 4: With his is This is a huge thing and a
Speaker 4: lot of people have said why don't you try, like
Speaker 4: you know who she is, although in saying that he
Speaker 4: recently locked his profile, so I used to be able
Speaker 4: to see his profile and now I can't, But it
Speaker 4: wouldn't be hard to find out who she is.
Speaker 3: But that's it.
Speaker 4: When you do get this unwanted attention, do you go
Speaker 4: to the point of I'm going to go and speak
Speaker 4: to the fiance or I'm going to message her, because
Speaker 4: if he's doing it to me, is he doing it
Speaker 4: tote women?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you would assume, so go.
Speaker 2: To his fiance if he's not going to listen.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: But then on the other side of that, I've seen
Speaker 4: people who do out people on social media and say
Speaker 4: oh look, and then they get hate for it.
Speaker 1: Well, there was a case at Elizabeth not so long ago,
Speaker 1: and there was a guy who that guy chase through
Speaker 1: the Elizabeth shopping center and my heels remember that bolted
Speaker 1: outside of court. So he there was a woman that
Speaker 1: said I was getting all this unwanted attention from him,
Speaker 1: and then there was a massive pylon, so she came out,
Speaker 1: there was a news story on him, and then there
Speaker 1: were literally fifty other women that came out and said
Speaker 1: he's Oh my god, I know him. He's been doing
Speaker 1: that to me as well.
Speaker 7: Thirteen twenty four ten. Yeah, situations like this. Have you
Speaker 7: been in there and how do you deal with this
Speaker 7: unwonted attention? When I suppose there's different elements that you're
Speaker 7: thinking from a female perspective.
Speaker 1: Have you received it online? Who was it, why did
Speaker 1: it make you feel uncomfortable? How did you deal with that?
Speaker 1: Thirteen twenty four ten, Let's go to Leah. Good morning, Leah,
Speaker 1: good morning.
Speaker 8: How are you good?
Speaker 3: Good?
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry if this has happened to you.
Speaker 8: Yes, So, about five years ago, there was a guy
Speaker 8: who was messaging me. I was only about seventeen, so
Speaker 8: at the time I thought he was being nice, so
Speaker 8: I gave him my address. He came over one time.
Speaker 8: He was really, really creepy, and then I told him
Speaker 8: I didn't want to see him again. And he would
Speaker 8: always message me. I wouldn't reply, and then he would
Speaker 8: just drop off like food stopping at my door because
Speaker 8: he told me that I didn't eat well, so he
Speaker 8: would just drop food at my door even though I
Speaker 8: hadn't replied. I hadn't replied four weeks and he would
Speaker 8: always dropped food to my door. Also my side. My
Speaker 8: bedroom window didn't lock, but he would put flowers and things.
Speaker 8: He opened my window and just like to throw them in.
Speaker 8: Oh my god. And I had not responded to him.
Speaker 8: And then I found out that he had a wife
Speaker 8: and a son for context as well, where he was
Speaker 8: about thirty seven and I was seventeen.
Speaker 3: Did you know he was thirty seven? Sorry? When he
Speaker 3: was messaging you at the.
Speaker 8: Start, No no, no.
Speaker 1: And so how did you how did it all end up?
Speaker 2: Leah.
Speaker 8: So I told his wife, his wife left him and
Speaker 8: divorced him, and then the weird so I was getting
Speaker 8: really creepy messages from him, like he would write poems
Speaker 8: about me, he would make memes about me, like lovely things.
Speaker 8: It was really really strange. And then when I told
Speaker 8: his wife, he turned into just straight abuse. He said
Speaker 8: it was my fault that they divorced, it was my
Speaker 8: fault that he'd left it that she left him. And
Speaker 8: that went on for a couple of months as well.
Speaker 8: I blocked him. He would still make little accounts just
Speaker 8: to message me.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. That's I was about five.
Speaker 8: Years ago now, and I think he's probably a lonely
Speaker 8: man now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's definitely not your fault. It's his fault
Speaker 4: for doing the wrong thing and chasing someone twenty years
Speaker 4: younger than him, a teenager.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I was, actually I was still a minor at
Speaker 8: that point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Bor rout Ley, thank you so much for your call
Speaker 1: this morning. Let's go to Ali. Ali. I'll jump in
Speaker 1: here and say you were one of the victims of
Speaker 1: this guy out of Elizabeth. Let's not mention his names
Speaker 1: because I'm not sure if it's still before the court.
Speaker 1: But this happened to you with him?
Speaker 9: Yeah, actually I was. He messaged me over the past
Speaker 9: or five years. I never responded to any of them,
Speaker 9: but yeah, he just kept going. He found there a
Speaker 9: dating side about five or six years ago and then
Speaker 9: searched my Facebook for me and just kept mexaging me constantly.
Speaker 4: I had a guy recently who I matched with him,
Speaker 4: and then I sort of looked at his profile went oh,
Speaker 4: probably not for me. I unmatched him, and he found
Speaker 4: me on Facebook and said why do you want to
Speaker 4: match me?
Speaker 1: Four?
Speaker 3: Like, I wanted to talk to.
Speaker 1: You, so Ali, have you heard from him recently or
Speaker 1: has it all stopped?
Speaker 8: No?
Speaker 9: Not since the whole court case thing, thankfully.
Speaker 1: And was it a case where you saw him on
Speaker 1: the news and went, oh my god.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 9: My sister in law actually tagged me and she's like,
Speaker 9: oh my god, is this the guy that has been
Speaker 9: messaging you? And I was like, yes, that's hum.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well we well, thank you so much for your call.
Speaker 1: To Neil. Oh gosh, these calls never end. They to
Speaker 1: Neil what happened.
Speaker 5: So I used to work in a store as a
Speaker 5: cashier and I had a customer comes through and I
Speaker 5: made small talk, was really friendly, as you are with customers.
Speaker 5: And then he started coming back frequently and never purchasing things.
Speaker 5: And on Valentine's Day he brought me flowers and he'd
Speaker 5: bring me cups of coffee and stuff like that, always
Speaker 5: just sort of checking in on me. It was. It
Speaker 5: was really weird. And then one day I went to work,
Speaker 5: had lunch break, came back and I was like he
Speaker 5: was there, and he said, oh, you've just been at
Speaker 5: home having some lunch, sitting out in the sun.
Speaker 9: Basically, yeah, it was very very storckery.
Speaker 3: Yeah it was well, and how's how's it all ended up?
Speaker 1: Neil?
Speaker 5: So he kind of would just keep coming in, and
Speaker 5: you know, me being it was a big power dynamic.
Speaker 5: I guess he's the custom to me having to be
Speaker 5: kind to him. So I basically just said, look, I've
Speaker 5: got a partner, and I did. My partner worked in
Speaker 5: the store as well, and I said, my boyfriend's just
Speaker 5: over there, like, yeah, you know, we probably don't appreciate
Speaker 5: you coming in anymore. And I just woort of had
Speaker 5: to leave it at that without offending him too much.
Speaker 5: And that's the thing we women do. We don't want
Speaker 5: to offend me.
Speaker 1: I know, even though you've been mortified and offended to Neil,
Speaker 1: you did absolutely the right thing and you didn't do
Speaker 1: anything wrong. And I would say that to all the
Speaker 1: women out there who were feeling that way. Thank you
Speaker 1: for sharing your stories this morning. I think we should
Speaker 1: give everyone an Earth Clay voucher. Yeah that we've spoken
Speaker 1: to You're welcome. Oh my god.
Speaker 4: I think the last thing I want to say is
Speaker 4: that if you're and look, I get that it happens.
Speaker 4: It's men and women, but especially men. If you're out
Speaker 4: there and you're messaging someone repeatedly on social media, or
Speaker 4: they've told you that they're not interested, please stop because
Speaker 4: you don't understand how it makes us feel. It's unsafe
Speaker 4: and they're obviously not interested. To just move on.
Speaker 2: It's really Ali's well, thank you so much getting involved
Speaker 2: be session. It's very very bride story.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely