1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:01,880 Speaker 1: Coming up on relatables. 2 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 2: So the glitteriss is actually a thing. 3 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: It's kind of like a uniform, all right. Some people 4 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:13,200 Speaker 1: say it exists, some people say it doesn't. 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 2: She's got one, She's still concerned. 6 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 3: Relatable Relatable podcast is hosted by myself, mister Jake Craig 7 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 3: Akaa Daddy. 8 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: I think I want you start saying girl Daddy, girl Daddy, 9 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 1: and my partner in crime is to Oddie Clark aka mummy, 10 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:46,479 Speaker 1: I want you to start saying, Ruler, what you got 11 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:50,479 Speaker 1: to say something? You're like a sibling. How it's like, 12 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: I don't know if you ever did this when you're 13 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: a kid, but me and my sister used to. Obviously 14 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: maybe you did this fight to take turns in the 15 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 1: front seat. I kind of always did get to the 16 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: back because I was younger, which sucked, so did I. 17 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,759 Speaker 2: Oh no, but we always went on there's only two 18 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 2: of us, we're both in the back. 19 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:15,120 Speaker 1: And then also big one and also massive divide. I've 20 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: noticed in the world of siblings is some siblings do 21 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,840 Speaker 1: this and some siblings some siblings don't. We used to 22 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: fight over who used to get to press the elevator button. No, 23 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: we didn't do that. 24 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 2: Day. Yeah, okay, I don't think we stayed in places 25 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:29,919 Speaker 2: of elevator out. 26 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: There just stands on the outside like a motel. 27 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 2: There probably wasn't even two stories or camping, not that 28 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 2: boozie life like you were. 29 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: Yah, it's nice penthouse. Please let me press it. 30 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 2: I want to go to our pent house, Daddy. 31 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 1: It is nice. I'll say it's nice up there. I'll 32 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: get there one day. Bad is. 33 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 2: Today's episode is a dilemma's episode with the being oh Chives. 34 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 2: And if you want to submit a dilemma, it is 35 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 2: pinned in a description and it is completely anonymous. And 36 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,359 Speaker 2: sometimes we start these dilemmas with a dilemma of our own. 37 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: I have one, do. 38 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 2: You No, I actually have a good dilemma. It's actually 39 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 2: a proper dilemma. So let me set the scene. My 40 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 2: house is kind of on the top of a hill, 41 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 2: and three houses back onto me, at the back of me, 42 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 2: arguably five going down the hill. 43 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 1: Yeah okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, straight towards like a straight stand. 44 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 1: Straight off the balcony. Yeah, straight off the balcony. 45 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,079 Speaker 2: So my house is higher than say, three to five 46 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 2: houses underneath me because the hills going down. 47 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,960 Speaker 1: How did how did the four houses in between the 48 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 1: fifth house and your house get to their house. 49 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:46,079 Speaker 2: There's roads on the other side, down near the line. 50 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 2: But anyway, I reckon. I'm being waked up three times 51 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 2: a week at like eleven and two am, woken up 52 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 2: three times a week by like at like eleven and 53 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 2: three am by a random dog. Like it's consistent. It's 54 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 2: been happening for like three weeks. And my dilemma is one, 55 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 2: do I say something too? I don't know who to 56 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 2: say something too. I'm fucking pissed. I'm waking up because 57 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 2: the sound kind of rises to my house too, and 58 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 2: my room's the clop is closest down the bottom. I 59 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 2: just wake up at like two am. It's like, I'm like, 60 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, what do you do here? 61 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, barking at night is annoying. Like Henry, he barks 62 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: at a lot of noises when he's awake, but he 63 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,359 Speaker 1: never ever barks at night. 64 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 2: I'll be fine with a one off randomly, but it's 65 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 2: happening consistently, consistently night. Yeah, it's like they don't even care. 66 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 2: I'm like, how want you? It's got to be an 67 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 2: old person. They don't hear it. 68 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: I mean it's just that's the thing is, like they 69 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: probably do care, but I wonder if they're doing everything 70 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: they can about it, maybe they don't care. Maybe they 71 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: sleep through it. 72 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm thinking five anonymous notes go a long way. 73 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 2: First sus if they have a dog or not? Anonymous note, 74 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 2: a note, anonymous note, anonymous note, anonymous note. 75 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: Do your parents say anything about it? 76 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 3: No? 77 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 2: But there no, mum has once. But also I'm a 78 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 2: soft sleeper, some bit of a bitch m m. But 79 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 2: I'm like also, like I feel like that's valid. 80 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: When do you move? Yeah? 81 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 2: True, true, true, true, Like when it's ready a month 82 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,599 Speaker 2: and a half, two months maybe, okay, it's two months? 83 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: About broken sleep? Yeah, that's a broken sleep. So so 84 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 1: you reckon? 85 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 2: Actually do is that leaning towards his coponet? 86 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, wait do you know the holiday homes could 87 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: be school holiday? Is school holiday is still a thing. 88 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 1: I've just gone back, so maybe i'll see, I'll see 89 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 1: maybe people just moved in. I don't know. 90 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 2: It's giving old person to me and like otherwise someone 91 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 2: would be out there and it's happened before, and the 92 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,360 Speaker 2: neighbors like, yeo, shut the fuck up. 93 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: So it's just mad consistent. 94 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, and like all the houses where my line of 95 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,799 Speaker 2: houses are, it just raises the noise. 96 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: I wonder you can't pinpoint a house. No, I can't. 97 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:57,040 Speaker 1: I can't. 98 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 2: I've gone out in my back and in the middle 99 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 2: of the night where definitely not a neighbor on either 100 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 2: side that's not in front of me. 101 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 1: It has to be in front of you. If it's 102 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: waking you up, it has to be directly in front 103 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: of you. Then it has to be the first one 104 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: in front of you. 105 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 2: I'm thinking one to the right. Maybe that's my money point. 106 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 1: Oh see, Actually, you know what I wouldn't I wouldn't 107 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 1: hate it if you did a note because anonymously one 108 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: a concerned neighbor. I no, no, what do you mean 109 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 1: a concern you'd be an annoyed neighbor. 110 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, a pissed off neighbor, A pissed off neighbor. 111 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: I would love it if you could write a note 112 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:32,160 Speaker 1: and say, like where you live? All right? If you're 113 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,600 Speaker 1: going to say something, say to someone's face, let him 114 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: know who says it. Oh, write a note, mean like, hi, 115 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: my name's do you think I am? Hi? My name's 116 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: Aardie for about you know? Start keeping track for the 117 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 1: last eighteen nights in a row. Yeah, your dog is 118 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: barked at, and then be like this one was one am, 119 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,359 Speaker 1: this one was one thirty, this one was eleven, this 120 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: one was two. And it wakes me up every single time. 121 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: And I just wanted to know if there's anything that 122 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,599 Speaker 1: you could maybe do about that. Here's my number. Please 123 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,039 Speaker 1: give me a call if possible, and then give us 124 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: an update content. I like the tracking and like you're 125 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: not saying like Fox, it's been like just wondering if 126 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 1: there's any chance, like maybe this is something that could 127 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:08,279 Speaker 1: be fixed. 128 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,040 Speaker 2: Also, it sounds like that let your dog inside. I'm 129 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 2: against outside of the dogs. 130 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:16,600 Speaker 1: I'm a humongous dogs sleep in. All the dogs outside. 131 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 2: So I'm like, maybe, like, if you know, if you're 132 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 2: not gonna let your dog inside, pound, I'll take him. 133 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it's maybe it's outside because of bark Probably 134 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: won't barkingside because it's probably barking at noises. Yeah, just 135 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: scurrying around and percent that's what it is. Yeah, I 136 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,920 Speaker 1: think leave a bit of a dilemma. 137 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 2: I'll see it's a bit ballsy, but alright, I'll see 138 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 2: how I go. 139 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: You could you could could pay off. 140 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 2: Maybe maybe maybe, But alright, let's get to your guys dilemmas. Hi, 141 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 2: Mummy and Daddy. I broke up with my boyfriend of 142 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,279 Speaker 2: two and a half years last week. I'm twenty one 143 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 2: and have had a boyfriend on and off since I 144 00:06:56,160 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 2: was fifteen. My recent relationship was the most serious out 145 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 2: of all my previous ones, and I thought I would 146 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 2: be in this relationship for much longer. There were a 147 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 2: lot of things that were bothering me about him and 148 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 2: his behaviors, but I also realized I had feelings for 149 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 2: one of my close girl friends. I have always felt 150 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 2: connected to her, but was always confused between the difference 151 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 2: of wanting to be really wanting to be really close 152 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,679 Speaker 2: friends with someone and wanting to be with them in brackets, 153 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 2: especially as someone who has never been with girls or 154 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 2: even liked girls before. Since the breakup, me and the 155 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 2: girl have been hanging out a lot. I am so 156 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 2: nervous and stressed for doing anything sexual with her. I'm 157 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 2: laughing at myself typing this out right now because I'm 158 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 2: asking two straight men for advice on lesbian women. On 159 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 2: lesbian women, but I need your advice on sex with 160 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 2: women generally anything. Any tips for overcoming the nerves of 161 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 2: eating out a girl for the first time. What if 162 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 2: I can't find the clip at Jake, you would know 163 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 2: about that one. I love you guys about it from Canada. 164 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 1: All right, here you go. Okay, this is somewhere where 165 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 1: I think you're there. You're asking the right guy. Yeah, yeah, 166 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 1: come to the right pace. So the glitteriss is actually 167 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: a thing. It's kind of like a unicorn. All right. 168 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 1: Some people say it exists, some people say it doesn't. 169 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: I'm leaning towards doesn't you know what? You know what? 170 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 2: You've got all the ship for saying jokingly saying you 171 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 2: couldn't find the clip. 172 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I actually did it to be fair. It's like 173 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 1: when I said it, I guess what are people can 174 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 1: to like not believe me she's got one. 175 00:08:46,000 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 4: She's still concerned, Ah, because I guess they're all different. 176 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, but all jokes aside. I think we can actually 177 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 2: give some great advice heh because she. 178 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 1: Sounds like she wants to go for it. 179 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 5: So step one, Oh, my advice is read like Akatar, 180 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 5: specifically a quarters of flames and listen to the way 181 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:21,839 Speaker 5: that either Cassian or Nesta is describing her being eaten 182 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 5: out and then also fourth wing and listen to the 183 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 5: ways aiden does it. 184 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think you're already one step ahead of 185 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 2: men because you're a woman. You actually listen to the 186 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 2: advice of the partner when you're having sex. 187 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,319 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you're gonna like talk about feelings and stuff, 188 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 1: and you're gonna want it to be good for her 189 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 1: and good for you. Interesting to lammat. Wait, so she 190 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,079 Speaker 1: just broke Yeah. Well, I mean, hey, I fucking hope 191 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 1: this all works out. 192 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 2: I would say, she's obviously looking to explore. I would say, 193 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 2: is there any more questions apart from like eating out? Yeah, 194 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 2: she's nervous. How do you fight the nerves? 195 00:09:52,559 --> 00:10:00,200 Speaker 1: Or the only way I could give confident advices if 196 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: you know this friend of yours is also I think 197 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 1: she is. Yeah, Okay, then I would I think she's 198 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: a lesbian. Say, honestly, it's the best policy. Yeah, I agree. 199 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,679 Speaker 2: I also think too, just you're going to make mistakes. 200 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 2: It's not going to be amazing. 201 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 1: You're going to miss some spots. Yeah, have fun. Like 202 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 1: I remember when I. 203 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 2: Was younger and the first time I was doing I 204 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 2: was really really nervous, and I was like trying to 205 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,640 Speaker 2: pretend like I knew what I was doing, and in hindsight, 206 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,680 Speaker 2: everyone knows that you don't know what you're doing, especially 207 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 2: if it's your first time with a woman. Have some fun, 208 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 2: enjoy it, laugh about it, ask questions, ask questions about 209 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 2: her buddy. 210 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: Everyone talks a big game. Yeah, I reckon. 211 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 2: It would have been so much better if I had 212 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 2: the skills to be like, hey, like, look, steer me 213 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,120 Speaker 2: in the right direction. Yeah, tell me what you want, 214 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 2: let's feel good. But I was just like, let's just 215 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 2: make this good for you, but just had this silent 216 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,560 Speaker 2: imagine imagine. 217 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,199 Speaker 1: You're younger and about to have sex for the first time, 218 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: and you go, you know, let's talk about this, like 219 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: I want this to be good for both of us, 220 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,080 Speaker 1: and she goes, well, if you could just last fifteen 221 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: I'd be like, hey, let's let's let's start small. Yeah. Yeah, 222 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 1: She's like, no, just fifty Can you last fifteen minutes? 223 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if I can last that long, 224 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 1: but in this situation, and also it's not. 225 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 2: About lasting yeah, oh no, not at all. And you 226 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 2: could also start slow in a sense of kiss first, 227 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 2: see if you want to go further set boundaries up 228 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 2: with yourself. 229 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is actually it sounds so fun. I think 230 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: like the fact that she's giggling to herself while sending 231 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,679 Speaker 1: this means it's like very good signs, like should be 232 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: giddy about it. She's like, oh, like feeling like a 233 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: crushed you know, you're. 234 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,240 Speaker 2: Have a crack, have some fun right right back to 235 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,959 Speaker 2: us how it was. You don't have to take our advice, 236 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 2: but I want to know how it was. Yeah, dilemma. 237 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: What if I can't find the click? That's the funniest 238 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 1: thing to me. Okay my term. Okay, lock in guys. 239 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: My partner and I have been together for almost nine years, 240 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 1: from the ages of sixteen to twenty five. Okay, during 241 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 1: this time, he has cheated multiple times. Now, I know 242 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,080 Speaker 1: the normal person would say the fuck dump him now, 243 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: but what actually happened was he dumped me and I 244 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,840 Speaker 1: in brackets, probably like a mug, begged for him back. 245 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:24,079 Speaker 1: The cheating situations happened at various times throughout the relationship, 246 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: the most recent being around a year and a half ago. 247 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: I forgave him and we moved on. So now they're together. 248 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 1: Now here's my issue. We are currently on the hunt 249 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: for a house to move into. Are the most serious 250 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 1: we've ever been. He got a tattoo of me, and yeah, 251 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: we are pretty steady. I now, however, feel as though 252 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: I might not have the same feelings towards him. But 253 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 1: I'm terrified to leave. Oh I remember the absolute heartbreak 254 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: I went through multiple times, So I'm confused on why 255 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,200 Speaker 1: I feel like this now. I don't know if this 256 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: is a phase or if I'm serious about breaking up. 257 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,040 Speaker 1: I'm scared that if I do, I'll instantly regret, and 258 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,199 Speaker 1: I'd also have went through all those emotions throughout the 259 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 1: years for nothing. Oh I mean I say dump. I think. Yeah. 260 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:17,080 Speaker 2: It's hard though, because to the batter who sent this in, 261 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 2: you're staying for the wrong reasons because you don't want 262 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,440 Speaker 2: to hurt again, and you think about all the time 263 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,400 Speaker 2: you've invested, and what if you made the wrong decision. 264 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 2: You're thinking about this is the decision made. You can't 265 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 2: mean a relationship if your heart's not in it. And 266 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,079 Speaker 2: I think even though those guys cheated on you, he 267 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 2: deserves to know that, or at least be broken up with. 268 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:43,679 Speaker 1: I think you should cheat on him. Let's go get 269 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: out of your system and then see if you still 270 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:49,599 Speaker 1: love it this guy for what fucking. 271 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 2: Oh you now, why do it? It sounds techy in 272 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 2: a sense of there might be a little bit of 273 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 2: resentment there too in the back of her head, like me, yeah, 274 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,720 Speaker 2: it has to be yeah, and like you tell yourself 275 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 2: that everyone tries like, oh, I've got over it. And 276 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,560 Speaker 2: then but you're writing in a dilemma that he's cheated 277 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 2: on me. 278 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 1: Have you gotten over it? 279 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 2: And that's completely valid not to get over it? And 280 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 2: is there a zema there? And you're like, for well, fuck, 281 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 2: maybe he's not that good. 282 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 283 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 2: And now no, actually, I know why she's thinking about this. 284 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 2: It's getting too serious now that there's actual commitment on 285 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 2: the line. 286 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: She's getting cold feet. Yeah, house, Like, I guess maybe 287 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 1: if you haven't lived together ever. The whole time, it 288 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 1: was like we can get back together with him, like 289 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 1: we don't live together, we're not actually locked in like that. 290 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 1: He's not asking me to marry him. Yeah, And I 291 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: don't think that leaving him would mean you've gone through 292 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: all those heartbreaks for nothing, by the way. 293 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no. And also if you're leaving he 294 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 2: broke off of you the first time, Well, I think 295 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 2: the most recent time that he cheated, he broke up 296 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 2: with her because he cheated. 297 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: That's the vibe I'm getting. And then she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stay. 298 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 1: But now it's on your terms. 299 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 2: And to be fair, it takes time to figure this 300 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 2: shit out. If it's on your terms, it should be 301 00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:58,560 Speaker 2: a little bit easier. 302 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that maybe what's happened is you have 303 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 1: literally just finally very taken the long time to figure 304 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 1: it out, but you have your body has let all 305 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 1: the feelings of all the cheating really really process. You know, 306 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 1: your mind, your body, your nervous system, everything, it's all 307 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:28,360 Speaker 1: really been processing this whole time. And so maybe each 308 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 1: time you cheated, it just like the process just started 309 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: over a bit of codependence clearly, maybe not clearly, but 310 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 1: like assume and now your body has gone through the 311 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 1: process of processing all of this trauma, and it's like 312 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: we don't actually need him, Yeah, And it's trying to 313 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 1: tell you and I don't think you should ignore it 314 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 1: and to make it easier. 315 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,760 Speaker 2: Every time previously it sounds like you've been caught off guard. 316 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:01,359 Speaker 2: This time, you're kind of mentally prepared halfway out the door. 317 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 1: Like it seems to me. You know, there might not 318 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: be too much heartbreak involved because you've experienced the heartbreak. 319 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: You know you could, you could, you. 320 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 2: Could flip it on its head, break up of him. 321 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 2: This is the best decision I've ever made. 322 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 1: I am free. Okay, here we go. You know what 323 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,400 Speaker 1: I like about this bad Is she serious? She has 324 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: like zero ill intent towards this guy, and I'm trying 325 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,920 Speaker 1: to make her. I was about to say, you know, 326 00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,600 Speaker 1: get the house, signed the lease, but put it all 327 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 1: in his name, just telling him you're help him with 328 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:39,920 Speaker 1: the bond. No, no, buy a house. They're buying a house. Yeah. 329 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 2: Title I want Jake's reaction to the title best guy friend. 330 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,280 Speaker 2: Originally met on a hinge, but nothing happened. We became 331 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 2: really close platonic mates. Skip fast forward six months and 332 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 2: we both were in Bali over New Year's One night out. 333 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 2: After a lot of drinks, we hooked up and I'm 334 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,920 Speaker 2: not saying little kisses. I'm saying making out on the 335 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 2: dance floor, having giggles, cuddling, dancing together, ended up back 336 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,239 Speaker 2: at his villa and had probably the best sex of 337 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 2: my life. Two days later we see each other again. 338 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 2: He breaks down crying, saying he doesn't want to lose 339 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 2: it and loves me and is upset that we in quotes, 340 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 2: cross that boundary. I'm hurt, I cry, but also don't 341 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 2: want to lose him as a friend, as we've created 342 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 2: a very good foundation. Okay, Anyway, New Year, back home, 343 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,240 Speaker 2: and we end up seeing each other every single day 344 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 2: two weeks straight. He comes over and looks after me 345 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 2: when I'm sick. He mowed my lawn, our dog set 346 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,920 Speaker 2: and spent the day with him, just doing personal ad 347 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 2: mid things. The banter is still there, the closeness is 348 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,679 Speaker 2: still there, and we both said what happened in Bali 349 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,679 Speaker 2: stays in Bali. 350 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: In my mind. 351 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 2: I know nothing will happen, but he keeps me close 352 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 2: and makes jokes about relationships. When I say I'm trying 353 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:03,800 Speaker 2: to date, I feel like he's keeping me as a 354 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:09,560 Speaker 2: backup because he doesn't want me right now. Advice, please, I'm. 355 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 1: Gonna tell you something that you need to hear. You're 356 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 1: not friends. 357 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,640 Speaker 2: The foundation that you think is so strong, it's. 358 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:20,679 Speaker 1: A most naive thing anyone's ever said. 359 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 2: You guys aren't friends. Oh, if you cross the boundary, 360 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 2: you can't go back. It's like you're on the edge 361 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,199 Speaker 2: of a cliff and you just jumped off, and then 362 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 2: you think you can automatically just go back up there. 363 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:38,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're your fallen girl. Yeah. Like you're not friends, no, 364 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,439 Speaker 1: and as sooner you accept that, the sooner all of 365 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,679 Speaker 1: these feelings you have, like here you go, this is 366 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,680 Speaker 1: what you need to come to terms with. You guys 367 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:50,880 Speaker 1: aren't friends. You both like each other. He doesn't want 368 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: you right now, that's how you feel, at least all right, 369 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 1: you are letting yourselves stay friends just so you don't 370 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 1: lose him. Yeah, okay, So you need to protect your 371 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,160 Speaker 1: peace because there is never going to be any peace. Well, 372 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:13,400 Speaker 1: you guys are quote unquote friends. Yeah, okay, so apologies 373 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,719 Speaker 1: if it sounds harsh. 374 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 2: Now what you gotta do is own it. You have 375 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,920 Speaker 2: one chance, and one chance only say to him, Look, 376 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 2: we hooked up in BALI I loved it. 377 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: I think I have feelings for you. Do you want 378 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 1: to pursue this? And he says no, you move on. 379 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,480 Speaker 2: You're no longer friends, you're no longer going to be 380 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 2: potentially lovers in the future. That door is closed and 381 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 2: closed forever, agreed. Hush, But that's what you've got to 382 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:38,399 Speaker 2: do to protect yourself. 383 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,640 Speaker 1: I just don't see any reason to hold on neither. 384 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:43,000 Speaker 1: There's nothing there. 385 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 2: It's like this ambiguity in the mid in the middle ambiguity. 386 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 5: Damn it. 387 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,880 Speaker 1: So close it was coming there, then it was coming 388 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:57,119 Speaker 1: out wrong. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I ask yourself this, like, 389 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 1: if he gets a girlfriend, do you think that he's 390 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,360 Speaker 1: going to introduce you as a friend that and then 391 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,960 Speaker 1: also tell his girlfriend that you guys have slept together 392 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 1: and expect his girlfriend to feel comfortable with that, and 393 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 1: you guys hang out one on one And if you 394 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 1: get a boyfriend, are you going to expect your boyfriend 395 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 1: to be comfortable? Like, I'm not I don't want to 396 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:24,280 Speaker 1: sound toxic currently. I'm just saying, like, would you tell 397 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 1: your boyfriend that you slept with this man? Maybe I 398 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 1: shouldn't say, like would you expect your boyfriend to be 399 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,679 Speaker 1: okay with it? But would you want to tell your 400 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,280 Speaker 1: boyfriend that this is one of my best friends. We 401 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 1: did have sex, because you can't keep that from them. 402 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: Keeping that from them is choosing to hide something. So 403 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 1: you're going to say to them, we have had sex, 404 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 1: but we're just friends now, Like, are you okay to 405 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 1: say that, and then I mean if the guy you're seeing, 406 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,800 Speaker 1: I mean, if the guy you're seeing is not okay 407 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,400 Speaker 1: with it, then obviously you can't be with him because 408 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 1: he's not someone that's like maybe sees our eye with you. 409 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 1: But like, you got to ask yourself these questions. I 410 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 1: know you're not in that situation, but like it just 411 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 1: just I don't know, we just as humans, we just 412 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 1: don't work like that. 413 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't like how Like, I don't know 414 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 2: you had sex two days later? Yeah, you catch up 415 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 2: again at breakfast he starts crying. 416 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. Manipulative. Yeah, like I don't know. 417 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 2: I don't like that he did it, own it, yeah, Like, 418 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 2: and deal with the consequences. Don't fucking cry in front 419 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 2: of you make you feel bad? 420 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:34,879 Speaker 1: Yeah? Manipulative? Yeah, I don't like that title. Dating someone 421 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,800 Speaker 1: that makes less money than me, M, how do you 422 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,520 Speaker 1: navigate life without emasculating them? I don't make it an issue. 423 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,639 Speaker 1: And if money is an issue, I don't mind paying 424 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,920 Speaker 1: and gladly offer. But I can tell it bothers my boyfriend. 425 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm missing out on experiences because of 426 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 1: his ego. Do I need to date someone in my 427 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:57,919 Speaker 1: own league? Question mark, Ooh, this brings up a great debate. Hmmm. 428 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 2: I think if it affects him that way, and he's 429 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,879 Speaker 2: having a bit of a tiff because you want to 430 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 2: do things and he can't afford it, then yes, I 431 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 2: think it's not that you should date someone in the 432 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,440 Speaker 2: same bracket as you. It's more that you should date 433 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 2: someone who how would you walk type a person? Is 434 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,640 Speaker 2: that I'm not because you don't need to date someone 435 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 2: who makes the same amount of money, But it's more 436 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:22,639 Speaker 2: someone who's. 437 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,080 Speaker 1: More tax bracket. Yeah, I'm talking tax bracket. 438 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, now just talking to someone who's confident in themselves 439 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 2: outside of money. 440 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, this guy clearly is feeling a bit what's the 441 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:41,920 Speaker 1: word insecure? And I don't know, Like, why can't you 442 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,119 Speaker 1: earn more money than him? Like if he earned more 443 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 1: money than you, he'd be okay with it. Yeah, he'd 444 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,879 Speaker 1: be fine, he'd be that's actually what he wants. He 445 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 1: wants to earn more money than you. But you earn 446 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 1: more money than him, and he cares. It could be 447 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: a fuck. 448 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,760 Speaker 2: It could be a little bit of a control thing too, 449 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,400 Speaker 2: Like he's not in control of the situation. Maybe you've 450 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,960 Speaker 2: got more freedom than him. So like, here's the thing, right, 451 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,119 Speaker 2: are they dating or seeing it tother dating? 452 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:11,280 Speaker 1: Okay, so let's say baddie wants to go do X experience, 453 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,920 Speaker 1: but boyfriend can't afford to do that experience or maybe 454 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 1: like it'd be a bit of a just like really 455 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,959 Speaker 1: be thinning out of the bank account a little bit. 456 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,240 Speaker 1: So she says, like, I would really like to go. 457 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go. If you would like to come, I'm 458 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,680 Speaker 1: more than happy to help you out with it because 459 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,400 Speaker 1: I want you there. Thoughts. I think that's good. 460 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's good the same and if you 461 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,639 Speaker 2: say no, that it shows that he's not confident in 462 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 2: his masculinity. 463 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, and like like this guy clearly thinks that he 464 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,479 Speaker 1: can't bring anything more to the table than money. Yeah, exactly. 465 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,000 Speaker 1: You know that's the fucking problem. 466 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:48,160 Speaker 4: Yeah. 467 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:49,440 Speaker 2: I didn't see it as an issue at all for 468 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 2: most people, especially he should appreciate that you want him 469 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:53,520 Speaker 2: there and. 470 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:54,400 Speaker 1: It's your thing. 471 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 2: It's not like you're saying, like, fuck, let's go on 472 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,439 Speaker 2: a fucking twenty thousand dollars Europe, Holliday and I'll cover 473 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:00,200 Speaker 2: all your thing. 474 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: And like, I'm sure you're not being like what's the 475 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 1: word ignorant. 476 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 2: No ignorant because word like. 477 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,960 Speaker 1: When tone deaf, like you're not being tone deaf towards 478 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,719 Speaker 1: the situation, and it sounds like you tread quite lightly anyway. 479 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: She fread heavy. 480 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 2: She could be out of a fancy restaurant heavy. She's like, 481 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,760 Speaker 2: tap tap, I make more money than you, bitch, Sit 482 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,919 Speaker 2: the funck down, you know what, you know. 483 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,480 Speaker 1: What would do in that situation. I would sit down. 484 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 2: I would I would sit the fun down and then 485 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 2: him on the way home sold. Yeah, no, I reckon honestly, 486 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,159 Speaker 2: if he if he can't grow like this, yeah, then 487 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 2: you don't want him. 488 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 1: I agree. I think Beth used to make more money 489 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:53,359 Speaker 1: than me. Uh and now we actually we ended up 490 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,560 Speaker 1: becoming even. But now I make more mone than hope. 491 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:56,240 Speaker 1: She quit a job. 492 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 2: You got business money. 493 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:06,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not really different though. Business money's good there. Yeah, 494 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 1: but sorry, but I never cared. I kind of was 495 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,400 Speaker 1: just like all I did, which is like when when 496 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 1: I knew best was making more than me, I just 497 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,680 Speaker 1: actually I just did let her pay more. I was 498 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 1: like me and Cassie have always been pretty on path. Yeah, 499 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 1: more so she appreciates money more. Is that the right 500 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 1: way to appreciates, respects. Yeah, respects money a little bit more. 501 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,000 Speaker 2: I've kind of just had that if I wanted to 502 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 2: do something, if we want to stay somewhere a little 503 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:35,679 Speaker 2: bit more, but I'll just. 504 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 1: Pay for it. I have so much disrespect for money, 505 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,960 Speaker 1: Like if there's money on the floor of the must 506 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 1: be money. I disrespect money. I have none. 507 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 2: After the story I heard about your little brother the 508 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 2: other day, I see where you get it from. 509 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:56,320 Speaker 1: Throwing under the bus. Fucking help bro. That's the thing is, like, 510 00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 1: I definitely it was pretty lucky. And like I would say, 511 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:13,160 Speaker 1: clear foots me with money. No, I just like whenever 512 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 1: I have it, I just like fucking love spending it. 513 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:16,359 Speaker 1: It does feel good. 514 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 2: It brings a fine line between like if you are 515 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,720 Speaker 2: comfortable and you can't afford it, where's the line between 516 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,040 Speaker 2: If it feels good, why don't you. 517 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:23,359 Speaker 1: Just do it? 518 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:24,480 Speaker 2: Yeah? 519 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,159 Speaker 1: I think that. 520 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:32,159 Speaker 2: Maybe that's the I don't know that considered turned off. 521 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:33,840 Speaker 2: But it's your own situation, You're own circumstance. 522 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, Like maybe I'm being toned deaf 523 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 1: right now. Like I don't judge people that are tight 524 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,560 Speaker 1: with money but like to have a lot in their 525 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,880 Speaker 1: bank account, Like, I don't care if you do that. Yeah, 526 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 1: maybe it's just not something that I like value. Maybe 527 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,080 Speaker 1: you will let her in life. Maybe yeah, I for 528 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:52,920 Speaker 1: some reason, just like always where the first time I 529 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,399 Speaker 1: heard someone say money comes and money goes. I never 530 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 1: should have never said that to me yesday, but my car, 531 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:03,960 Speaker 1: I never ever should have been told that phrase. Does 532 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 1: It comes in waves. 533 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 2: I'm just good because I feel like phases of like 534 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 2: I'm on a label as ADHD, but I get like 535 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 2: super concentrated on one thing. So if I'm concentrating on saving, 536 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,560 Speaker 2: I'll concentrate on that, but then three months down the line, 537 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:16,919 Speaker 2: I'll get concentrated on spending. 538 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:22,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. 539 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 2: The past three years, I reckon, It's been nine months saving, 540 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 2: three months spending. 541 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 1: I've got a good ratio. And here's the thing. I 542 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:32,080 Speaker 1: was like, I I stress about money. I do, but 543 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,840 Speaker 1: like that doesn't kick me into gear like it should. 544 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,159 Speaker 2: All right, badd he's interjecting, as you know, and if 545 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,360 Speaker 2: you don't go back and listen. We just recently run 546 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,959 Speaker 2: a campaign the Baddest Baddie Yes, and the two winners 547 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,920 Speaker 2: have won an ad read We're going to read for 548 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:54,480 Speaker 2: the next month. 549 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 1: They get four ad reads, so here they are. Okay, 550 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:02,680 Speaker 1: we talk about relationships still and hot fantasy novels, but 551 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 1: something we need to talk more about is mental health. 552 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,879 Speaker 1: Bad as Baddie Sarah is doing just that. 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You can follow them on 577 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 2: socials Beauty among Pain for all updates and to learn 578 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 2: more about the conditions and batties. These are baddies doing 579 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,240 Speaker 2: cool stuff. Support them if you want to and say 580 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 2: bad alrighty dilemma. I can never seem to get past 581 00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 2: the three month of talking stage. I get Miss universe 582 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,720 Speaker 2: is just saying it's not your time. But I give 583 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 2: so much love romantically and platonically, and I just feel 584 00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:59,400 Speaker 2: as though it's never matched and it would be nice 585 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 2: to get a little bit back. When reflecting back on 586 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 2: my romantic times, I can only think maybe I was 587 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 2: too nice? 588 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,920 Speaker 1: Is this a thing I have been told that? 589 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 2: Here she's listing off the things she's done. I'm independent. 590 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,960 Speaker 2: I text a bit, not too much, but not often enough. 591 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,960 Speaker 2: Time in person is always fun and lighthearted. We usually 592 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,400 Speaker 2: see each other two to three times a week. I 593 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 2: don't sleep with them within the first three weeks, and 594 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 2: usually I like to clock it at about three months, 595 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,640 Speaker 2: and if they're not good, they're gone. I just don't 596 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,200 Speaker 2: know what I'm doing wrong. I've seen a few nice guys, 597 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 2: and don't get me wrong, I love men. I think 598 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:40,000 Speaker 2: they are great. But I seem to get horror story 599 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 2: after horror story. It's crazy, twenty five year old female. 600 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know. You sound fucking fine, you sound perfect. Yeah. 601 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:57,320 Speaker 2: I want to Jake stumps on money, I stomp on 602 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 2: being too nice. I don't think you can be too nice? 603 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 1: Yeah? 604 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 3: What like? 605 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 2: I think that's the biggest cop out ever. 606 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,000 Speaker 1: I hate it. It's actually it's just really mean to 607 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,200 Speaker 1: say yeah, and how. 608 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 2: Can anyone be too nice? It is implying that, like 609 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:12,640 Speaker 2: they're mean. 610 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,200 Speaker 1: Well, it's like it's not even implying anything. It's like 611 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,840 Speaker 1: it's just a telling someone that they're too nice as 612 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 1: a reason for not wanting to be with someone. 613 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:21,760 Speaker 4: Is like. 614 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:27,240 Speaker 1: Just them saying that they're trying to like backhand to 615 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,480 Speaker 1: compliment their way out of a situation that is like 616 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 1: semi confronting. They're not going to hurt someone's feelings. They're 617 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 1: trying to give you a compliment. That's actually not agreed. 618 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,280 Speaker 2: This dilemma, too, though, would be very very relatable to 619 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,560 Speaker 2: a lot of women out there, not only because of 620 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,640 Speaker 2: all the things you have to offer, but also the 621 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:48,240 Speaker 2: horror stories we've heard. 622 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 1: Countless son mom. Oh, yeah, what's what's the So does 623 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,720 Speaker 1: she what's the dilema? 624 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,640 Speaker 2: Here's what can she do? 625 00:31:58,920 --> 00:31:59,920 Speaker 1: So she wants a man? 626 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, she wants a man. She's romantic, platonically and romantically. 627 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,920 Speaker 1: Are the men leaving her? Yeah? Because she's too nice? 628 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 1: Yeah I think so, Oh what the fuck? 629 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 2: I would just say, you hate to hear it, but 630 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 2: fuck them. Just keep doing your thing, girl. 631 00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,240 Speaker 1: And like I suppose we did a. 632 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 2: Thing on the main episode where like you don't want 633 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 2: to hear this, but also like if you focus on yourself, 634 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:27,240 Speaker 2: it'll come to you. 635 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 1: It's the worst. Yeah, that's the worst thing to say 636 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 1: to a single person that wants a man. 637 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you have so much to give and you 638 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 2: don't want to waste it on a man because you 639 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:38,520 Speaker 2: want it so much. 640 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:38,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. 641 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,120 Speaker 2: My advice would be, keep doing what you're doing right, 642 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,160 Speaker 2: and don't settle. Yeah, don't settle, that's the thing. Don't 643 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 2: you dare settle? Keep doing what you're doing, and don't 644 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 2: settle and don't question yourself. No, you know who you are, 645 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:56,320 Speaker 2: you know what you have to offer, and if someone 646 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 2: can't appreciate that, don't let them gaslight you into thinking 647 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,440 Speaker 2: too nice or I don't know, you're not good enough 648 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,480 Speaker 2: at sex, or yah, you're. 649 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 1: Not pretty enough. Yeah you are. Recognize manipulation when you 650 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,280 Speaker 1: see it, Yeah, which has probably got to do with 651 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,920 Speaker 1: a lot of the horror stories you hear. Yeah, maybe 652 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:18,880 Speaker 1: I don't know, Maybe you're not too nice, maybe you're intimidating. 653 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,720 Speaker 1: Maybe who knows, which I mean sounds like a bad thing, 654 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,600 Speaker 1: but it's like you know, you may genuinely. I guess 655 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,320 Speaker 1: we think about it. Like, of all the stuff we've 656 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 1: talked about over the years, the common conclusion is that 657 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:40,160 Speaker 1: men can be quite terrible and also lack evolution. Yeah too. 658 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,440 Speaker 1: From last week we spoke think, I think, or on 659 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:47,080 Speaker 1: Monday's episodes we spoke about that we lack we lack evolving, Okay, 660 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 1: and so that makes the dating pool more more like 661 00:33:54,200 --> 00:34:00,680 Speaker 1: a dating puddle. But I guess what I'm trying to 662 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: say is keep doing what you're doing, Recognize manipulation when 663 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,160 Speaker 1: you see it, because to say to someone that I 664 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:08,799 Speaker 1: don't want to be with you because you're too nice 665 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: is manipulating that person by making it like they're trying 666 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,800 Speaker 1: to say it's your fault that you're so nice and 667 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to be with you. It's just not 668 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,239 Speaker 1: the case. Stupid, and yeah, don't settle. And I do 669 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 1: think that a good guy will come along. I do. 670 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,040 Speaker 1: I agree Baddies. 671 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,920 Speaker 2: Unfortunately, that's it for the main episode for free, but 672 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,719 Speaker 2: we are continuing on Patreon four eight dollars ninety nine 673 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:35,480 Speaker 2: aud a month, and you get the extended version of Dilemmas. 674 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 2: You also get an extra episode every week, and the 675 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 2: book club early and the baddy. 676 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:41,960 Speaker 1: Community over there is really really good and. 677 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,000 Speaker 2: We don't really mention it that often, but Patreon also 678 00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:47,200 Speaker 2: gets exclusive dilemmas. So yes, over here, there's about three 679 00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:48,840 Speaker 2: thousand and seven hundred dilemas which we got to go 680 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,680 Speaker 2: through over there, not that many, so we'll get to 681 00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:51,080 Speaker 2: all of them. 682 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,040 Speaker 1: So if you want to get your dilemma, read Patreon's 683 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,479 Speaker 1: where to go. Thanks for listening, Stay bad