1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:02,240 Speaker 1: Oh, I get a team. I hope you will. It's 2 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:06,120 Speaker 1: been a while since I've done a freestyle solo little extravagance. 3 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: So here we are. This is coming off the back 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: of a chat I had earlier today with somebody about 5 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:19,760 Speaker 1: the impact that relationships have on us, good and bad, 6 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: and the people that we have in our life. And 7 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,680 Speaker 1: without giving away too much, we're talking about a few 8 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 1: people that are in this person's life, one in particular, 9 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,599 Speaker 1: who I can say, because you don't know who they are, 10 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: I can say this person is quite toxic if what 11 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: I was told is accurate, which I believe it is, 12 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: and the impact that this particular person is having on 13 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: my client or the person I was chatting with, psychological, emotional, physical, 14 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: and this person is really not only in a kind 15 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 1: of almost a metaphoric sense, but in a literal sense, 16 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 1: quite toxic to this person's my client's mental, emotional, and 17 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: physical health that's really having an impact on them anyway. 18 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 1: So we started to chat about, you know, the people 19 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: that we have in our world, the people that we 20 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,760 Speaker 1: let into our heart and into our mind and into 21 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 1: our life and into our inner circle, and how sometimes 22 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 1: we do that really unconsciously, and we all do that 23 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,479 Speaker 1: unconsciously to a point. But then there's a time when 24 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 1: I think we can open this kind of social awareness 25 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: door where we start to consider, you know, who we 26 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: want to have in that kind of a mental and 27 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: emotional and social kind of inner sanctum. Who are the 28 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 1: people that I want near me? Who are the people 29 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 1: that I want to allow into my head and heart 30 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: because I know the people that I let in have 31 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: an impact on me for better or worse. You know, 32 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: there's that not very accurate or scientific saying that we 33 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 1: are the average of the five people we spend the 34 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 1: most time with. I forget the origin story of that, 35 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: but there's definitely something in that. I don't know whether 36 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 1: the number five came up from a not four or 37 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: six or ten or twenty or three, but anyway, but nonetheless, 38 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: there is this kind of social osmosis. There is this 39 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: mental and emotional consequence for better or worse, and physical 40 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:35,000 Speaker 1: consequence sometimes that comes from who we spend time with. 41 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 1: And we see that in the workplace, where you know, 42 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: there are toxic cultures, there are toxic relationships, there are 43 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 1: toxic individuals, and conversely, there are places that are great 44 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,680 Speaker 1: to be in. There are cultures that are uplifting and 45 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 1: rewarding and positive. And there are humans that literally can 46 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: change our biochemistry for the better. There are people that 47 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: there are people that you can be around. This sounds weird, 48 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:06,640 Speaker 1: but this is actually really true. There are people that 49 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: you can be around that are literally good for your 50 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:15,079 Speaker 1: physical health. There are people that you can be around 51 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:20,359 Speaker 1: that make your over time, make your immune system stronger, 52 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: that change what's happening in your brain chemistry that's changed, 53 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 1: what that change what's happening with your nervous system, that 54 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 1: can put you in a parasympathetic not an elevated sympathetic state, 55 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: that can put you in that calm kind of relaxed 56 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 1: and safe kind of space, depending on who that person 57 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: is in the relationship you have with that person. And 58 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 1: we also know that there are people that sometimes even 59 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 1: when you know there may be a personal couple of 60 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: people in your life that even when you hear their 61 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: name or you think of that person, it has an 62 00:03:56,240 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: adverse consequence or a negative impact on everything from how 63 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: you're feeling in the moment to your ability to focus 64 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:11,559 Speaker 1: and concentrate, your nervous system and the crime system, cardiovascular 65 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: respiratory system, just hearing someone's name, or thinking that a 66 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:21,160 Speaker 1: particular person might be in proximity to you, or having 67 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 1: a conversation about a person a particular person, or somebody 68 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 1: quizzing you on that person can create all kind of 69 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: negative outcomes. So we know that the people that we 70 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 1: spend time with, the people that we hang out with, 71 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: the people that we allow into that let's just call 72 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: it that kind of in a sanctum, that personal, in 73 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: a sanctum where we invite people in. We want people 74 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: into that part of our heart and our head and 75 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: our life. We know that, for better or worse, that 76 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: can have a real significant impact. And with this in mind, 77 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 1: over the last you know, forty years, I've really been 78 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 1: conscious of this because I've been around amazing people. I've 79 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 1: been around people that have not been so amazing, people 80 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 1: that have really supported me and I've supported them, and 81 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: people that who have been for the most part, are 82 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: positive in my life. And then there have been people 83 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,279 Speaker 1: that I had a reasonable relationship with and this is 84 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: no bloody mystery here, this is not a revelation, and 85 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 1: then for whatever reason, that ended, And there's also been 86 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 1: as there are with all of you. I'm sure people 87 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: that I really loved and trusted and gave access to me. 88 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: That proved to be unreliable, that proved to be dishonest, 89 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: that proved to be a whole lot of things that 90 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: I didn't initially think they were. Now, having said all 91 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 1: of that, I need to I need to open the 92 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 1: self awareness door. And I need to also, as we 93 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:04,360 Speaker 1: all do with all of this stuff, acknowledge that I 94 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:09,159 Speaker 1: am not always a treasure or a pleasure to be around. 95 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: I am flawed. I am a constant work in progress. 96 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: I don't think I always bring up the tone of 97 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: the room. I don't think that that one hundred percent 98 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 1: of the time or probably eighty or ninety percent of 99 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: the time, that I'm making whoever i'm with that I'm 100 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 1: making their experience better. I try to. I try to 101 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 1: be the kind of person that is good to be around. 102 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 1: I do my very best, but I have to acknowledge 103 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: because I'm a human and flawed, I have to acknowledge 104 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 1: that I'm not always that. So back to who you 105 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: and I choose to spend time with. I probably have 106 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:52,599 Speaker 1: and this will surprise some people. I probably have about 107 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: six to ten people. You can tell I haven't planned 108 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: this or written anything. Down right, I'm thinking out loud 109 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: as I always do. But I probably have about six 110 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 1: to ten people in my world that I truly, unequivocally, 111 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: one hundred percent trust, that I have zero doubt that 112 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: they are who I think they are, and that they 113 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 1: love me and care about me or for me, and 114 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: that they are trustworthy. Now that's not to say I 115 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 1: think everyone else is not trustworthy. I do know a 116 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: lot of people, or that I would never rely on 117 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: anyone but my small It's not to say that. It's 118 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: just to say that the practical reality of being a 119 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 1: human is that you will be around humans that you 120 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 1: do trust, that you do care about, that you do like, 121 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: that you do even love, who will do shit to 122 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: you that you just don't enjoy, shit to you that 123 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: you don't see coming, and maybe not even anything so terrible, 124 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: but you just know that being with this person, hanging 125 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: around this person, it's just not good for me. And 126 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: it might not be that they're terrible and you're fucking amazing. 127 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,720 Speaker 1: It might just be that you and them together it's 128 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 1: not a great formula, A little bit like social oil 129 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: and water. It doesn't really work, it doesn't mix. So 130 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 1: I'm always thinking about I'm not always that's an exaggeration. 131 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: I have thought often over the years about who I 132 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: let in, who I let into that space, that inner space, 133 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,959 Speaker 1: that inner sanctum. Because I spend a lot of time 134 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: with a lot of people, I have a lot of conversations. 135 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,480 Speaker 1: I know a lot of people, like I know a 136 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 1: lot of people, and I am friendly to a lot 137 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,680 Speaker 1: of people, and they are friendly to me. But the 138 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: people that I would call close friends are not many. 139 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:58,200 Speaker 1: And that's not an insult to anyone. That's just how 140 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 1: I work. And it might be surprising for me to 141 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: say to you, or for you to hear me say 142 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 1: that I don't. I don't. I don't trust a lot 143 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 1: of people. And that doesn't mean I automatically think, like 144 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 1: I said before, that they're going to do something bad, 145 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 1: or they're going to let me down, or they're going 146 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 1: to be It's just that for me, it takes and 147 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: I used to be more trustworthy. I will say that, 148 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: and you know, and I'm also at the same time, 149 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: I'm not bitter or resentful, and I don't wish anyone 150 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: who's hurt me or harmed me. I don't wish anything 151 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 1: bad and upon them at all. In fact, if you 152 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: could get everyone in the room, everyone in the room 153 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 1: who's ever lied to me or stolen from me financially, 154 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: and there are plenty, or let me down or you know, 155 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: sabotage me, or all of those things that happened to 156 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 1: all of us. If I could get all of those 157 00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 1: people in a room and I could magically make their 158 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:04,080 Speaker 1: life better or worse, I would absolutely, unequivocally choose to 159 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:08,680 Speaker 1: make their life better. I could go into that more deeply, 160 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 1: but that's how I feel. I don't I personally don't 161 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: want to. I don't want to open the negative emotional door. 162 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: I don't want to, and I don't resent people. I 163 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: don't hate anyone in the world. I hate some things 164 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 1: that people do, I hate some behaviors, I hate some 165 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: toxic attitudes, I hate some of the things that happen, 166 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: but I don't hate people. So but at the same time, 167 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: I have to acknowledge that who is around me, especially 168 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 1: people for whom I have opened the aforementioned door, they 169 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,560 Speaker 1: really have an impact on me, or they can have 170 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:58,080 Speaker 1: an impact on me. So I am conscious of who 171 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: I pay attention to, who who I listen to, and 172 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 1: who I hang out with. And that might be physically 173 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 1: hang out like in a three dimensional space, you know, 174 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 1: hanging out with somebody spending time together, or it might 175 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 1: even be I just thought of this now as I'm 176 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: going When you're thinking about who you hang out with, 177 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,680 Speaker 1: who might be good for you to hang out with, 178 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 1: it might be via a podcast. By the way, I'm 179 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,320 Speaker 1: not suggesting I am someone you should hang out with. This. 180 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: It wasn't some long winded fucking hawk, right, But there 181 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 1: will be people that maybe you never actually meet in 182 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: real life, but nonetheless you can tap into their knowledge 183 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 1: or their energy or whatever it is they bring to 184 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: the world and hanging out with that person. We use 185 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 1: this in inverted commas, hanging out that might be a 186 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,360 Speaker 1: positive in your life. I mean, there are people that 187 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 1: I hang out with in the virtual world, people that 188 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 1: I've listened to, books that I've read. And this is 189 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: a slightly slight departure from what I was talking about 190 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 1: a minute ago, But at the same time, I still 191 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,719 Speaker 1: think that there are people that we can hang out 192 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 1: with is in this kind of virtual capacity, which also 193 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: can improve our life. So there's that as well. But 194 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 1: back to the real world, the practical physical, three dimensional world. 195 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 1: So I want to give you, like I guess, almost 196 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 1: like an inventory of possible attributes or behaviors or characteristics 197 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 1: or traits that I that I want in people that 198 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:47,200 Speaker 1: I choose to spend my personal time with. So I 199 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:51,600 Speaker 1: want to hang out with people that overall drag me up, 200 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 1: not drag me down. And that doesn't mean my elevation 201 00:12:56,280 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 1: and my growth and my journey is their responsibility. But 202 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,560 Speaker 1: I want to be around people who, in general terms, 203 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,160 Speaker 1: when I not all the time, and not every time, 204 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,360 Speaker 1: because it's also my job to drag them up, but 205 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,320 Speaker 1: in general terms, when I leave that person, when I 206 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 1: get out of that conversation, that interaction, that experience, that 207 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: social setting, whatever it is, when I walk away from that, 208 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: most of the time, I feel fucking great. I feel psychologically, 209 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 1: emotionally and maybe even physically uplifted because I've been around 210 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 1: that person. They help me think better, they help me 211 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: find clarity, they help me understand myself more. They have 212 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,720 Speaker 1: knowledge and insight that I don't have as well. We 213 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 1: might fucking laugh together, we might just enjoy each other's company. 214 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,959 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be anything groundbreaking or mind blowing. 215 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: It might just be like, for example, one of the 216 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: people that I'm talking about is my training partner, the 217 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:07,680 Speaker 1: crab Mark. We hang out every day and every day, 218 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,559 Speaker 1: we lift stuff, every day, we talk about stuff, every day, 219 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 1: we laugh. It's not day to day life changing, but 220 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 1: overall he is definitely a positive in my life. He's 221 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,560 Speaker 1: definitely a positive in my life, as is my best 222 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 1: mate Vin if he happens to be listening to this. 223 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: People who drag me up. Another person I don't want 224 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 1: to hang out with is I don't want to hang 225 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: out with the person who strokes my ego. So I 226 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 1: do want to hang out with people who don't do that, 227 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: people who their priority is not to make me feel 228 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 1: good or to endorse my behavior or to get my 229 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: approval at all costs. Now, that doesn't mean I want 230 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 1: them destroying me or running me down, or disagreeing for 231 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: the sake of this agreeing. But I want real, I 232 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 1: want authentic. I want to know despite what I think, 233 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 1: I want to know actually what you think. My thinking 234 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 1: and your thinking, and my beliefs and your beliefs, and 235 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: my attitudes and behaviors and lifestyle. They don't need to 236 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:24,360 Speaker 1: reflect each other. They don't need to converge. There might 237 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 1: be a lot of divergence or difference there, and that 238 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: might make our relationship more interesting, more durable, and more valuable. 239 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: Perhaps is not maybe the right word, but we might 240 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 1: add to each other's lives because we're not the same. 241 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 1: You know, if all of the people that I allow 242 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 1: into my personal some might say sovereign space, if they 243 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 1: all have to think like me, and be like me, 244 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 1: and act like me and believe like me, than one 245 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 1: I'm a fucking ego maniac, and two I'm creating a 246 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 1: cult of Craig replicas and that don't work. Ever. Having 247 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 1: said that, I want people in my life that care 248 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 1: about me, that when I'm not looking, say nice things 249 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: behind my back. And you know what I mean by that, 250 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:30,280 Speaker 1: because we get the opposite. How many times has somebody 251 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: that is a certain way to your face, usually jovial, 252 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: friendly or apparently friendly, you hear down the track that 253 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 1: they have been quite different about you, or spoken about 254 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: you in a different way when you're not around. And 255 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: you know, there are people who for whom a relationship 256 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 1: with you might be completely strategic, and there are relationships 257 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 1: that can be strategic, and that's okay as long as 258 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 1: both people know what's going on. This is a strategic alliance. 259 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 1: This is a strategic relationship. It's win win. We both 260 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 1: know what's going on. It's not actually a friendship per se, 261 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:18,679 Speaker 1: but it's a conditional strategic relationship, and we both know 262 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 1: what's going on. And that's okay. But that's not in 263 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,680 Speaker 1: my personal space. That's not who I want to hang 264 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: out with. I don't want someone blowing smoke up my 265 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 1: ass constantly. I don't want someone constantly praising me. But 266 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: I want to know that if one of my friends 267 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:43,119 Speaker 1: is in a space where somebody else is perhaps saying 268 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 1: negative things about me, that at the very least they 269 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 1: might defend me if if what the other person's saying 270 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 1: is perhaps not true. Of course somebody might be talking 271 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 1: shit about men. It could be completely true, and that 272 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,560 Speaker 1: i'd tell my friend Pylon. But I love the idea 273 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 1: of I personally love saying nice things behind my friend's back. 274 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: I love talking positively about people that I care about 275 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: in a sincere and authentic way. I want people My 276 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 1: next one is and this is this is just a 277 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,760 Speaker 1: term I use, and it's just a term, but I 278 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,719 Speaker 1: want to hang out with people that I would go 279 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:34,400 Speaker 1: to war with. I don't like war, by the way, 280 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,159 Speaker 1: but I love people who are brave enough to do that. 281 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 1: I love people who are brave enough to represent our 282 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 1: country and to represent you and me and to step 283 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 1: up when most people would not want to. I love 284 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:54,439 Speaker 1: that kind of that courage and reliability and durability and authenticity. 285 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,159 Speaker 1: And so when I say I want I want to 286 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,359 Speaker 1: hang out with people that would go to war with me, 287 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 1: and I would go to war with them. That's just 288 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:07,119 Speaker 1: people that for whom I would almost do anything, and 289 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: I selfishly perhaps I want that in return, I would 290 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,439 Speaker 1: do that for them, and I want to be with 291 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: people who would also do that. Again, not conditional, it's 292 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:22,479 Speaker 1: not strategic. It's just about love. It's just about I 293 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 1: love this person, they love me. Cool. What do you need? 294 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: What do you need? I also want to spend time 295 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 1: with people who disagree with me. I kind of mentioned 296 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,480 Speaker 1: that a minute ago, but I just think it's important 297 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 1: and not for the sake of disagreeing, but I think 298 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,200 Speaker 1: it's important that that you know, of course, there'll be 299 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:42,960 Speaker 1: a lot of things that we do agree on, but 300 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:47,200 Speaker 1: there are you know, if somebody has a different opinion 301 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,119 Speaker 1: to me, or a different belief or idea, to me 302 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 1: about something. I don't want them to not say that, 303 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:58,440 Speaker 1: and I don't want them to try to keep the peace. 304 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:02,400 Speaker 1: There's a difference between arguing, yelling, screaming, and creating chaos. 305 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:06,359 Speaker 1: But I'm happy for In fact, if I've got people 306 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 1: around me who never disagree with me on anything, you know, 307 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:13,119 Speaker 1: that's going to be a problem too, as I said before, 308 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: because then it's just you know, then we're creating a 309 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 1: basically an ideological cult, you know, where we all agree 310 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:28,240 Speaker 1: on everything, which just isn't realistic. I want to hang 311 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 1: out with people who aren't like me. I want to 312 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,639 Speaker 1: hang out with people who come from different places, people 313 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: who come from different cultural and or religious backgrounds. I 314 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 1: want to hang out with people who have got knowledge 315 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:46,800 Speaker 1: and insight and experience and awareness that I don't have. Selfishly, 316 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: I want to hang out with people who aren't like 317 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 1: me because one, I'm curious and I'm interested in those people. 318 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:59,479 Speaker 1: But two, and this is selfish, they can teach me 319 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 1: stuff I can learn from them. I can learn from them, 320 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 1: and yes, I still need they still need to be 321 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 1: people that I naturally like and respect and want to 322 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 1: be around. But I don't want to hang out with 323 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:16,640 Speaker 1: a bunch of Craig clones. I don't want. I don't 324 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:20,159 Speaker 1: want my friends to have to meet certain criteria that 325 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 1: are based on being like me. I want to hang 326 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: out with people that challenge me and inspire me to 327 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 1: be better and to do better. And that might happen 328 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 1: in real time. And I do have a couple of 329 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,159 Speaker 1: people who call me out. And I'm going to be 330 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,199 Speaker 1: honest and say that when people call me out, my 331 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 1: friends call me out in the moment because I've got 332 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:50,200 Speaker 1: an ego and because I've got a whole bunch of bullshit, 333 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 1: emotional and psychological bullshit that I'll always be dealing with. 334 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:59,160 Speaker 1: I don't I don't always respond brilliantly call the cops. 335 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:05,680 Speaker 1: I don't, but nonetheless give me twenty thirty seconds. By 336 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,359 Speaker 1: the way, I don't explode and fight with anyone, but 337 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 1: I just know that when it comes from the right 338 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,879 Speaker 1: place and I can step away from my ego and 339 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:22,880 Speaker 1: the emotional response for a second, generally there's some wisdom, 340 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 1: there's some insight, and there's some perspective in what that 341 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 1: person is sharing that I can't get without an external voice, 342 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:36,879 Speaker 1: without an external pair of eyes. Because I'm me and 343 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:41,400 Speaker 1: I can't be objective about me because the Craigs experience 344 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 1: is a completely subjective one for me, because I'm me 345 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 1: and so truly objectivity, complete objectivity and open mindedness is 346 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:58,240 Speaker 1: impossible if we're talking about across the board open mindedness 347 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:02,840 Speaker 1: and objectivity. It's impossible because we all have pre existing 348 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:07,800 Speaker 1: beliefs and ideas and biases and experiences and insights and 349 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,000 Speaker 1: programming and education and all of those things. We all 350 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:14,679 Speaker 1: have that and all that stuff is the filter through 351 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,680 Speaker 1: which we view the world, process the world and experiences 352 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 1: and moments in time. But then the person that I'm 353 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:25,439 Speaker 1: sitting with or spending time with, they don't live in 354 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: my reality. They're not seeing what I'm seeing. And sometimes 355 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:33,879 Speaker 1: what they're seeing I need to see. Sometimes what they're 356 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 1: thinking I need to hear. Sometimes they're understanding, and their 357 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 1: insight is going to be a gift for me. That 358 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 1: feels like a punch in the face in the moment. 359 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 1: As you've heard me so many times. Often the things 360 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 1: that we need, be the need to experience, or need 361 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:59,680 Speaker 1: to hear, or need to understand or need to become 362 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,359 Speaker 1: aware of, they're not the things we want. Like the 363 00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:07,240 Speaker 1: things that we want generally are comfortable. Generally, the things 364 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,119 Speaker 1: that we want make us feel better in the moment, 365 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,920 Speaker 1: and it's this drive to feel better and be comfortable 366 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:19,640 Speaker 1: and to be certain and to embrace convenience. These things 367 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: are fucking limitations. These things are while they seem nice 368 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,639 Speaker 1: and in the moment they might deliver a degree of 369 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:32,000 Speaker 1: a joy. They might, but over the long term we 370 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:35,439 Speaker 1: need to have an awareness and a perspective and an 371 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 1: understanding bigger than our own. And when we have what 372 00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: I call an unreasonable friend, which is a positive not 373 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,960 Speaker 1: a negative. I know it sounds like a negative, but 374 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,560 Speaker 1: an unreasonable friend for me is the person that will 375 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:55,199 Speaker 1: tell me the uncomfortable thing, knowing that I might not 376 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 1: love to hear it, but they're courageous enough to do 377 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,480 Speaker 1: that anyway, and in return, I I want to do 378 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 1: that for people. Like one of the challenges for me 379 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:10,400 Speaker 1: on this podcast is there are things that there are 380 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,080 Speaker 1: things that I could say a lot more directly, and 381 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:19,119 Speaker 1: there are things that I believe and think that I 382 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:23,679 Speaker 1: don't share on here. Nothing you know, horrendous or anything, 383 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 1: but because I just know that if I say that, 384 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 1: and I say it that way, there will be people 385 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,719 Speaker 1: who run with that and find the negative and then 386 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,880 Speaker 1: focus on that. And I get that, and I understand that. 387 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,879 Speaker 1: And even though people would say, who listen to me 388 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,439 Speaker 1: and read my work on social media that wow, he's direct, 389 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,960 Speaker 1: he's like hard hitting, or he doesn't pull any punches, 390 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,199 Speaker 1: and all of those things that people say, you know, 391 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:57,679 Speaker 1: the velvet sledgehammer I've been called right, Well, if you 392 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,480 Speaker 1: knew what I really think, sometimes I would probably have 393 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 1: fucking three followers because I think more than I say, 394 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,879 Speaker 1: which is not to say I'm being disingenuous. I'm trying 395 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:16,639 Speaker 1: to exercise wisdom and an awareness greater than me. So 396 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 1: there are things that I want to share, but I 397 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:23,000 Speaker 1: need to do that the right way, keeping in mind that, 398 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,480 Speaker 1: you know, so keeping in mind that I'm talking to 399 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:27,960 Speaker 1: thousands of people right now. Thousands of people will listen 400 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 1: to this, and there, you know, and such is the 401 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:39,199 Speaker 1: divergence of experiences and personalities and mindsets and backgrounds. You know, 402 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,440 Speaker 1: is that right now, there will be some people thinking 403 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 1: this is pretty fucking interesting. There will be some people 404 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,359 Speaker 1: who have already tuned out because they're bored. There'll be 405 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:52,679 Speaker 1: some people who are thinking, wow, this is really informative 406 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 1: and educational, and maybe some people are going, I'm not 407 00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:57,919 Speaker 1: exactly sure what the fuck he's talking about. Despite the 408 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 1: fact that the stimulus for everybody that is my voice, 409 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,800 Speaker 1: my words, my idea is the stimulus is the same, 410 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:10,400 Speaker 1: but the response is different. I've kind of gone off 411 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,359 Speaker 1: the path of who we hang out with, but I 412 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 1: just think that was an important thing to say. The 413 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,880 Speaker 1: bottom line is, hang out with people who might make 414 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 1: you better, and they might not be the people that 415 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 1: make you feel the best in the moment. Like I 416 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:29,800 Speaker 1: always say, and this is what I want for me 417 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,639 Speaker 1: from others, and this is what I would say to 418 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,720 Speaker 1: you if you were mine. And I've said this many 419 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,720 Speaker 1: times to people that I have worked with one on 420 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 1: one it as a mental a coach, a conditioning coach, 421 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:47,520 Speaker 1: and ext sise scientist, whatever personal trainer. Many times I've 422 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:51,080 Speaker 1: said to people the thing that you need to hear 423 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: or the thing that I need you to do might 424 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,199 Speaker 1: not be the thing that you want to hear or 425 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,879 Speaker 1: the thing that you want to do. And also, I 426 00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,440 Speaker 1: am more concerned with your long term wellbeing. I am 427 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,200 Speaker 1: more concerned with your ability to survive and thrive and 428 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 1: win over the next three decades, for example, than I 429 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:12,440 Speaker 1: am interested in making you feel good for the next 430 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 1: three minutes. And we live in a time where you 431 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 1: have to tippy toe around a lot of shit. You 432 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 1: know that. I know that, and I don't know that 433 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 1: all the tippy toeing. Yes, we need to be aware 434 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 1: and sensitive and empathetic, and I say that genuinely we do, 435 00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:43,320 Speaker 1: but oh my god, oh my god, sometimes we just 436 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,400 Speaker 1: need to pull back the curtain and go listen. Champ, 437 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 1: You're the problem in this, not always the problem, but 438 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,040 Speaker 1: you are with this problem is your thinking, The problem 439 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 1: is your choices, The problem is your behavior. The problem 440 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 1: because that is just fucking true for all of us. 441 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:03,360 Speaker 1: And sometimes we need that person in our life. We 442 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 1: need that person. I need that person for some of you. 443 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 1: Maybe I am that person sometimes, which is why I 444 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: understand why some people don't like me. I'm not even upset. 445 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,720 Speaker 1: I get it. I get it because I understand how 446 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:24,200 Speaker 1: people think. And that's no judgment. I understand. You know. 447 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 1: I've I've mentioned this before, but I once I started 448 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:33,080 Speaker 1: reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Toll, maybe twenty 449 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 1: years ago. I can't remember when it came out, but 450 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 1: it was maybe twenty years ago, and at that time, 451 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,840 Speaker 1: with my mindset at that time and the way I 452 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 1: thought and the way that I processed the world. I 453 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 1: started reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Toll, and 454 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 1: I kind of thought it was spiritual psychobabble. I kind 455 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,320 Speaker 1: of thought it was bullshitting. And then I can't remember 456 00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 1: how many years, but some years later I found that 457 00:29:56,800 --> 00:30:01,000 Speaker 1: book on a shelf at my house. I just, I 458 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,240 Speaker 1: don't know why. I just had had some time, and 459 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,360 Speaker 1: I sat down and I reread the first few pages. 460 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,320 Speaker 1: I didn't read that much the first time around. I 461 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 1: probably read ten or twenty pages and put it down 462 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 1: and thought it was crap. Right second time around, I 463 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 1: couldn't put it down. Second time around, I thought, this 464 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 1: is fucking genius. There is so much wisdom and insight. 465 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 1: This is such a beautiful, amazing lens to look at 466 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,960 Speaker 1: the world through. How is this guy so clever? How 467 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,000 Speaker 1: is this guy so enlightened? How did all of a 468 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,480 Speaker 1: sudden like he was the same Carttol was the same, 469 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,160 Speaker 1: The book was the same, the information was the same, 470 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:42,280 Speaker 1: the words were the same. But I was ready. I 471 00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 1: was ready to hear a different message. I was open. 472 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,800 Speaker 1: The problem was not the book. The problem was not 473 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,880 Speaker 1: the information. The problem was that I didn't want to 474 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,080 Speaker 1: hear it. The problem was that I was not open minded. 475 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:59,760 Speaker 1: The problem was me, let's do two more people who 476 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,120 Speaker 1: keep their commitments. I want to be around people who 477 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,080 Speaker 1: do say what they mean, mean what they say, and 478 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,520 Speaker 1: do what they say they're going to do. And I 479 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 1: think for me that is a really valuable kind of 480 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 1: trait and a really desirable thing to have in a friend, 481 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 1: because I've had a lot of people let me down. Again, 482 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,080 Speaker 1: there's no self pity in this. There's just part of 483 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:26,240 Speaker 1: my journey. My life is good. My journey's been good. 484 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,320 Speaker 1: There's been way more good stuff than bad stuff. But 485 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 1: at the same time, if I'm just being honest, there 486 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,520 Speaker 1: are people that have been really fucking unreliable, people that 487 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 1: do not do what they say they're going to do, 488 00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 1: and then when they don't do what they said they 489 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:45,280 Speaker 1: would do, they don't apologize, they don't own up, they 490 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:50,160 Speaker 1: don't step up, they don't take responsibility. They spew some 491 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:53,080 Speaker 1: bullshit about all of these things that happened that were 492 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 1: out of their control, and generally that is not the 493 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:03,520 Speaker 1: truth sometimes but often not. And my last one is 494 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 1: I love spending time with people who like me, value 495 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 1: meaningful conversations over superficial interactions. I like stilliness, I like 496 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:20,160 Speaker 1: fucking around, but I don't like bullshit conversations. I don't 497 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:24,760 Speaker 1: like talking for twenty minutes about nothing in particular. It 498 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:28,640 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that every dialogue, every interaction has got to 499 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:33,200 Speaker 1: be life changing or profound. Of course it doesn't. But 500 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,600 Speaker 1: you know when I mean, you've been in those situations 501 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,160 Speaker 1: where and I still get in those situations and it's 502 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,760 Speaker 1: not life threatening, but you know where you're somewhere and 503 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:44,720 Speaker 1: you're kind of just by virtue of circumstantial situation or whatever, 504 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:49,719 Speaker 1: you just find yourself in a conversation or an interaction 505 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:54,000 Speaker 1: that's just basically fucking verbal fairy floss. It's like, farka, 506 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 1: now this is going to give me conversational diabetes, Like 507 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:03,000 Speaker 1: this is shit. Now I'm going to have those, but 508 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:06,840 Speaker 1: I don't want those with my close friends. That's not 509 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,200 Speaker 1: who I want to choose to hang around people who 510 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:15,040 Speaker 1: who do that, you know, conversational fairy fluss. Anyway, I 511 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:19,440 Speaker 1: just want to I want to finish by saying that 512 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 1: it might be, it might not be, but it might 513 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 1: be time for you to think about who you consciously 514 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:33,320 Speaker 1: spend time with, and the impact that that person or 515 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:38,720 Speaker 1: those people have on who you want to be and 516 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,680 Speaker 1: how you want to be, the impact that they have 517 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 1: on your physical, mental, emotional health, the impact that they 518 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 1: have on your mission, on your journey, on your work 519 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:57,600 Speaker 1: in progress. Because you know, there are a lot of 520 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 1: variables that affect the quality of our outcomes and the 521 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,760 Speaker 1: quality of our experiences and the quality of our work, 522 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,520 Speaker 1: and you know the quality of our journey over time, 523 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,200 Speaker 1: and we think about lots of things. You know, we 524 00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:14,880 Speaker 1: talk about on this show. We talk about sleep and food, 525 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,760 Speaker 1: and we talk about lifting shit, and we talk about 526 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:21,120 Speaker 1: managing stress, and we talk about making better decisions, but 527 00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:24,440 Speaker 1: we don't really talk about who do I want to 528 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:29,520 Speaker 1: be around? Who do I want to choose to open 529 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,240 Speaker 1: the door for see you next time.