Speaker 1: Greetings Jack, afternoon, My swan got an update for you.
Speaker 1: Earlier on, I was saying that I was having trouble
Speaker 1: pairing up a hand held light up mirror and some
Speaker 1: very hard one batteries that I had to order from Amazon,
Speaker 1: Like it was just a nightmare. I got the two
Speaker 1: things and then I couldn't find them. I put them together.
Speaker 1: This morning, I was beside myself, and you now.
Speaker 2: Have a light up compact mirror.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you? I turned it on?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: It nearly blinded me. Oh I love that really.
Speaker 2: Got you blind? The idea, the idea of such a
Speaker 2: bright light I can look in the mirror.
Speaker 1: Like, Swan, are you're so complimentary?
Speaker 2: Should have gone to Specsator.
Speaker 1: No, it was so bright, like the only place. As
Speaker 1: soon as I saw it, I thought, the only place
Speaker 1: that this is going to be of use to me
Speaker 1: is in old Class. When I'm trying to see what
Speaker 1: I've ordered, it would just be like, bang, there it
Speaker 1: is the prawn twizzlers.
Speaker 2: Hey, that's good. Good excuse to go to gold Class
Speaker 2: and get use out of this mirrorcle.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was way too Can you.
Speaker 2: Please bring it in. I'd like to see it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see it.
Speaker 2: Hey, after three o'clock, we're gonna be asking if you've
Speaker 2: received a backhanded compliment of late both Swanni and I have.
Speaker 2: We'll also be doing sweeping statements the Christy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: Mad for Lady Gaga, excited about this new album.
Speaker 2: This song is so good, It's so good.
Speaker 1: I tried to learn that. I try to learn that
Speaker 1: over the weekend. Arba cad arba Nanna. And then there's
Speaker 1: another little Google lug a bit on the end. I
Speaker 1: really want to answer people like I really want to
Speaker 1: be in the kitchen. And then they say, hey, are
Speaker 1: you going, Christy and they go.
Speaker 2: Oh, They'll be like wow, like we knew she was crazy,
Speaker 2: but she's properly lost.
Speaker 1: It, fully gone around the twist. She sat down with
Speaker 1: my favorite magazine. I subscribe to Vanity Fair. I'm a subscribe.
Speaker 2: You'll get the hard copy, don't I still get the
Speaker 2: hard copy.
Speaker 1: I can't work out the digital copy. I'd love that
Speaker 1: as well, but I've sent many emails. Can't work it
Speaker 1: out right. I also subscribe to Woman's Weekly, which time
Speaker 1: the columness correct. Anyway, She's done the very famous lie
Speaker 1: detective test in vanity Fair. She's fallen in love with
Speaker 1: another famous Stephanie first.
Speaker 2: Oh, the woman that does the operates the machine, the.
Speaker 1: One that sets you up, and I reckon. She's been
Speaker 1: told she can't like lead the witness, she can't be
Speaker 1: friendly or nice.
Speaker 2: Well, she never smiles.
Speaker 1: No, step this Stephanie because her real name is Stephanie.
Speaker 1: Loves this Stephanie.
Speaker 2: Very very much, very cute.
Speaker 1: There's no grab of that, okay. I thought she was
Speaker 1: talking at Stephanie's sos Gaga on telephone video.
Speaker 3: The music video for your song Telephone so to be
Speaker 3: continued at the end. Will it ever be continued?
Speaker 1: Yes? When I don't know, will.
Speaker 3: This person be in it?
Speaker 1: Maybe?
Speaker 2: Interesting?
Speaker 1: That was the most unbelievable film clip I've ever seen
Speaker 1: in my life.
Speaker 2: It was so fantastic and I think we spoke about
Speaker 2: this earlier in the year about how it was the
Speaker 2: first sort of cinematic music video of its time. I
Speaker 2: feel it was extraordinary and it was so long. I
Speaker 2: remember I couldn't believe how long it was.
Speaker 1: How old is that?
Speaker 2: Tom? Do you mind giving that a good time?
Speaker 1: How old is that? Because there's going to be people listening,
Speaker 1: kids that don't know what we're talking about, and their
Speaker 1: mind will be blown. It's from two thousand and nine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go, My god, crazy, I was in year seven.
Speaker 2: That's nuts.
Speaker 1: You know how at least once a year there is
Speaker 1: some footage of a kid at the Pokeys that's got
Speaker 1: inside of anything. It's got inside the claw machine. Yes, well,
Speaker 1: they are not the only ones that want to climb
Speaker 1: in there.
Speaker 3: Is it true you also wanted to perform inside of
Speaker 3: a Dorito spending machine at south By Southwest.
Speaker 1: I wanted to perform inside the vending machine. That sounds
Speaker 1: like I might have I might have said that.
Speaker 3: I believe that I might have said that. I don't remember,
Speaker 3: though she's been truthful.
Speaker 1: Yes, it sounds like absolutely something Gaga would do.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Is it just me? Or has Gaga sounded a lot
Speaker 1: sleepier usually than she does in the like? She sounds
Speaker 1: really alert in your slip.
Speaker 2: Yes, I agree, she's present and with us and clear mind, but.
Speaker 1: Like you need to know what she's saying.
Speaker 2: She seems innocent.
Speaker 1: Anyway, good honor, it's working. Let's talk Gaga at a Coachella.
Speaker 3: You're headlining Coachella this year and you've promised a night
Speaker 3: of chaos. Would a night of chaos include no sleep,
Speaker 3: bus club, another club, another club, another club, plane, next place,
Speaker 3: no sleep, no fear.
Speaker 1: Yes, that that might be several days of chaos.
Speaker 3: Do you remember saying that?
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean that was what my life was like
Speaker 1: at the time.
Speaker 3: Does this audio come up a lot on your own
Speaker 3: TikTok for you page?
Speaker 1: Sometimes I love this and she looks so nervous. I've
Speaker 1: got a feeling that she went to like an all
Speaker 1: girls Catholic school in New York City.
Speaker 2: So when this is where.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you're being told that you're going to get
Speaker 1: in trouble for lying, the Catholic guilt kicks in and
Speaker 1: that's what's happened to her. Definitely, do we just do
Speaker 1: just dance? Yes, now we're talking about Uni.
Speaker 3: A former classmate of yours at NYU said that during
Speaker 3: lunch every day you would quote play the piano and
Speaker 3: sing wicket at the top of your lungs. Can you
Speaker 3: confirm or deny this rumor?
Speaker 1: That is a confirm?
Speaker 3: Are you more of a Glinda or an Alphaba?
Speaker 2: I think Alphaba is.
Speaker 3: Performing at lunch totally on brand for a musical theater kid.
Speaker 1: I think so. For me, it was. Do you remember
Speaker 1: the the real story there? They've made it sound very,
Speaker 1: very nice. It was someone going.
Speaker 2: She was the most annoying.
Speaker 1: Person on campus. Nobody wanted to hear it. She would
Speaker 1: sing seven times louder than she needed to, so everybody.
Speaker 2: It's so funny here, it's funny. In this clip she
Speaker 2: actually looks like Ariana Grande with the bleached eyebrow in
Speaker 2: the face.
Speaker 1: She looks very different to how she normally looks.
Speaker 2: My favorite moment from the whole Detective Tesswani was her
Speaker 2: admitting she was once mistaken for someone else?
Speaker 3: Have you ever been mistaken for another celebrity?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Who going? Stefani Bia strapper? God, I want to know
Speaker 1: the backstory there.
Speaker 2: I do get that.
Speaker 1: I can see that her new album drops March seven.
Speaker 1: If there's more of that abraca dabrau la la, crap
Speaker 1: on it. I'm up for the Chrissy Swan show now.
Speaker 1: Fair warning, Jack is as salty as a minimum Chips,
Speaker 1: Swans sweeping Steamers. Oh yeah, this is going to be
Speaker 1: good today.
Speaker 2: I've got three that I could smash through here, but
Speaker 2: I won't. I'll save them for the coming weeks.
Speaker 1: You could give US two four ten. What's your sweeping statement?
Speaker 1: You're unpopular opinion. I'm nervous to go first.
Speaker 2: No, please go.
Speaker 1: Kendrick Lamar is untalented.
Speaker 2: Oh I love that. I disagree, but I love it.
Speaker 1: There is not one song that I don't skip. Apart
Speaker 1: from the collaboration with Scissor and the collaboration with someone else,
Speaker 1: which where someone else does all the heavy lifting that
Speaker 1: they are, there is no melody, no good vocal, nothing.
Speaker 1: Emperor's New Clothe de leagay, yayay. He sounds like something
Speaker 1: from South Park.
Speaker 2: Wow. I love this sweeping statement because that is a.
Speaker 1: Really tried I really tried, because I know that he's
Speaker 1: been given the seal of popular approval with the halftime,
Speaker 1: and I thought, oh God, maybe it's just me. Maybe
Speaker 1: it is zero desire to listen to another note.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Apart from the Scissor song, which all.
Speaker 2: The stars, yes, I think he broke like some massive
Speaker 2: records with the ratings of.
Speaker 1: His The Emperor's New Clothes.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'd like to update.
Speaker 1: Nobody, by the way, nobody that lined that city street
Speaker 1: looking at the Emperor with no clothes on. Not one
Speaker 1: person said that guy's nude I'm that person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're doing it. You're calling it out, and.
Speaker 1: I'll be stoned in the square for it, no doubt, make.
Speaker 2: Good social content. I'd like to update a previous sweeping
Speaker 2: statement where I said I hate the word missus and
Speaker 2: when people men mainly refer to their partners as my missus.
Speaker 1: All right, so you don't you don't like like, it's
Speaker 1: not you have to teach your schooled missus Ramsey, you
Speaker 1: don't know that the missus.
Speaker 2: The missus. I don't like my missus. It's she's your
Speaker 2: wife or your girlfriend or your partner. Yeah, I'd like
Speaker 2: to update that and also include the word misso. I
Speaker 2: think when people go I have to ask the misso
Speaker 2: and like I's weirdly, I'm a bit of a boy's boy,
Speaker 2: Like I've got a lot of straight masculine dudes around me.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we oh the so. We need to
Speaker 2: cut out the term missus and misso. Just refer to
Speaker 2: her as your partner or your girlfriend or your wife
Speaker 2: or her name.
Speaker 1: I would love to speak to somebody that refers to
Speaker 1: their partner as misso, the misso, missus and just like why.
Speaker 2: I have to ask the missus whether I can go
Speaker 2: the pub tonight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is this Kingswood Country?
Speaker 2: What is your sweeping statement with some movie passes to
Speaker 2: get angry? So salty?
Speaker 1: The Christy Swan Show, The Christy Swan Show. Everyone just
Speaker 1: relax and stop being so cranky Swans sweets or don't
Speaker 1: and join us, join us on the cranky couch. Hello Christine?
Speaker 1: Are you there? Christine?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: It always does this at this point, doesn't it.
Speaker 2: It always does this.
Speaker 1: It's witchy. It's a demon.
Speaker 2: That's not my grandmother. That's a demon. See how it
Speaker 2: stops this? My mouse cursor?
Speaker 1: It just doesn't. I can read what Christine's saying that. Hi, Christine,
Speaker 1: WHI how are you?
Speaker 4: I just want to.
Speaker 1: I don't like so so Jack has just said that,
Speaker 1: you know, under no circumstances should your partner be called
Speaker 1: the missus missus or the misso miss And you're going
Speaker 1: to wifey to it? How long has he been calling
Speaker 1: you wifey?
Speaker 2: Will I bring with him?
Speaker 4: For forty two years?
Speaker 1: And I think he's been doing it for forty Have
Speaker 1: you told him not to?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I'm telling you should be telling everyone that I'm your
Speaker 1: best half.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was probably pushing it. Oh well, you know you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like a man that wants to
Speaker 1: call you wife. He isn't going to turn around and say, oh,
Speaker 1: actually no, I won't call you wife here, I'll call
Speaker 1: you my best half. I think it's an irritating thing.
Speaker 1: I think he likes it. I think so too.
Speaker 2: Hey, Christine, we are going to I think you're.
Speaker 1: Stuck with it, Christine for forty two years.
Speaker 2: They're going to send you a double pas to heart Eyes,
Speaker 2: which is in cinemas now.
Speaker 1: I love Christine. I bet she makes a really good
Speaker 1: currit sausage recipe.
Speaker 2: I thought you're going to say Cobb Loath. Yeah, she would.
Speaker 1: She would make it dip after they made that. Is
Speaker 1: it delicious?
Speaker 2: I love it? I my I think one of my
Speaker 2: auntie used to make it. It's such a childhood memory.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: Is there bread in the dip or just on the outside.
Speaker 2: On the outside because you've sort of carved and.
Speaker 1: Then what do you do? You dip the bread from
Speaker 1: inside into the dip? Catherine, Sorry, we digress from your
Speaker 1: very important sweeping statement. How are you so good? Are
Speaker 1: cranky about? Cat?
Speaker 5: I like it. I find it very don't assume that
Speaker 5: I like kids, just because I have four. Like I
Speaker 5: think people that assume you like kids because you have
Speaker 5: multiple and a stupid.
Speaker 1: And can I tell you four is the magic number
Speaker 1: because I've got a friend who's got four, and every
Speaker 1: time I'm out with her, that is the conversation, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, for I've got three, No one bats an eyelid.
Speaker 1: It's that extra one that tips you over. Cath.
Speaker 5: Yes, I know, and I never bring it up in conversation.
Speaker 5: Now I've got four, but I'll always have other people
Speaker 5: mentioning to me how many there gotten. I'm just like, Okay,
Speaker 5: good for you.
Speaker 2: Good for you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is so great, Kath. You must
Speaker 1: really love kids.
Speaker 2: Do you wish your stoped at three? Kaf Well, I don't.
Speaker 5: I love mine's pieces, but don't sum that I'm gonna
Speaker 5: gonna like yours just because I've got four.
Speaker 1: Oh, now we get to it. Ah Man, I'm exactly
Speaker 1: the same. Baker's like Voucher.
Speaker 2: Surely, as you know, we've got a double pasta Heart Eyes,
Speaker 2: which is in cinemas.
Speaker 1: Now that's a horror movie. I don't think Kath wants
Speaker 1: to go and see that with four kids.
Speaker 2: Kath, would you could take your special somebody in your life.
Speaker 5: Well, I don't watch for rum movie.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to send you a double pass to
Speaker 2: Hoyts and you can pick which film you go and see. Yeah,
Speaker 2: awesome queens dot com dot A you for that one.
Speaker 2: Let's finish with Nicole. Nicole, what is your sweeping statement?
Speaker 1: Hi?
Speaker 4: Guys?
Speaker 6: Mine is dress up parties disgusting. I do not want
Speaker 6: to spend fifty dollars to go looking like a banana.
Speaker 6: If I'm going to go out and have a night out,
Speaker 6: I want to look nice.
Speaker 1: What are you doing this weekend? Because Jack's available the
Speaker 1: Chrissy Swan Show. Let's go a click in Chrissy's clichee.
Speaker 1: Champagne Puppy, Champagne Puppy. I remember finding out that Drake's
Speaker 1: handle on Instagram was Champagne Puppy, and I thought straight away,
Speaker 1: he's my kind of guy. It doesn't make any sense,
Speaker 1: but in many ways it does make a lot of sense.
Speaker 1: Champagne Puppy and his profile pick. I just noticed his
Speaker 1: tupac and a little kid. I think, oh, yeah, he's
Speaker 1: too yeah to Puck Shakur. Anyway, there's been what I
Speaker 1: saw it, and I clearly went this is a This
Speaker 1: has all been planned. Allegedly, a drone was flown into
Speaker 1: his penthouse apartment in the Sydney Stars Crown.
Speaker 2: Tell you what what a penthouse?
Speaker 1: It looks amazing. It's like in the middle of the sky.
Speaker 2: I thought it must have been an ad for Crown
Speaker 2: at first, because I was like, the way that drone
Speaker 2: flew like away, it made the Crown Tower look so stunning.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also clearly wasn't by an amateur. No, I
Speaker 1: mean absolutely, because it's about two kilometers. Yeah. Anyway, you know,
Speaker 1: Drake is scene being disturbed by the of the of
Speaker 1: the drone comes out and throws a slide croc sort
Speaker 1: of thing. Anyway, it's clearly all made up, and he
Speaker 1: has said, yes it is. He's posted a still from
Speaker 1: the drone footage. You can see a guy in the background.
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's him, it's a shadow of him. But
Speaker 1: there is somebody flying the drone there. Yeah, the laptop
Speaker 1: is open on his website. It's clearly a stunt. But
Speaker 1: the quote is what gets me. The caption Tom of
Speaker 1: you read the caption, Oh my god, I want to
Speaker 1: look at your face. Say it. So, Drake has said, yeah,
Speaker 1: he goes the stakes are high, but so am I
Speaker 1: a king.
Speaker 2: She's really enjoyed it so much that her microphone's falling
Speaker 2: down microphones. Oh, I haven't told you my conversation with
Speaker 2: our boss today and one of my favorite people on
Speaker 2: this planet, Sarah. Yeah, she went to Drake last night
Speaker 2: and I was like, what did you think? How good
Speaker 2: was he? She's like, it was so good, but I
Speaker 2: wish you'd just play a song in full. He just
Speaker 2: kept playing snippets of songs.
Speaker 1: It's happening the change.
Speaker 2: Yes, sir, he's trying to fit in forty nine songs.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I just broughted one in full.
Speaker 1: Some people have a hot flash. Others just wish Drake
Speaker 1: could play a whole song. Sing it, do it like
Speaker 1: you do on the CDs, Champa sing along.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to hear hotline blinging. Who does it?
Speaker 1: Who doesn't? By the way, female prankster, let's move on
Speaker 1: to the female prankster pretending to be a marshal sends
Speaker 1: the Glasgow sends runners in Glasgow on a two and
Speaker 1: a half kilometer detour during the race. Now, sorry, but
Speaker 1: big deal. The organizers of the event, I'll explain it
Speaker 1: to you. They're all running around supposed to be fun,
Speaker 1: so they call it a fun run.
Speaker 2: My idea of hell, well, like, what is it?
Speaker 1: What is the antithesis of fun run? Anyway they're doing that.
Speaker 1: Everyone's entitled to their own joys. Anyway, someone has gone
Speaker 1: I'm going to dress up, I'm going to however they
Speaker 1: speak and you know they've they've detoured over. I can
Speaker 1: say that my grandfather.
Speaker 2: No, you can say you anyway.
Speaker 1: Apparently that's a very bad thing to do, because that
Speaker 1: prankster led runners away from medical help had it been needed.
Speaker 1: Now this is my problem. It wasn't needed. Don't worry
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, like, why are we even didn't happen?
Speaker 2: It's funny, it's done. Also, people that go in run
Speaker 2: clubs or do these things are kind of insufferable. So
Speaker 2: I quite like this.
Speaker 1: I don't mind people to do that. But no harm lost.
Speaker 1: What do they say in the classics? No harm no
Speaker 1: fowl spot on Swannye let it go. It is a
Speaker 1: Christy Swan show. You've been so excited to do this story.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the show. Guys. It's three o'clock go
Speaker 1: an hour ago. So mum, Pat Swan, you know.
Speaker 2: The woman great Patty Swan, as Peg.
Speaker 1: Calls her, the woman is an icon. She's an icon.
Speaker 1: That's what her granddaughter.
Speaker 2: I forgot, we were all matter of fact.
Speaker 1: I got it now. So there is never a dull
Speaker 1: moment with this woman. Yesterday eleven am, oh about eleventh
Speaker 1: thirty phone guys, and I answer it because I'm waiting
Speaker 1: on some deliveries and I think it might be someone
Speaker 1: there going on. Yes, it's not. It's a man who
Speaker 1: sounds very concerned. He says, I am a physiotherapist, and
Speaker 1: I had an appointment at your mum's home today. And
Speaker 1: I have gone there and the gate is open and
Speaker 1: the front door is open, and I've walked in and
Speaker 1: I can't see her anywhere. Please go and do a
Speaker 1: welfare check on your mom. I am not worried at
Speaker 1: all on you. No why because this is classic pat
Speaker 1: I go, it's okay, Roger, I'll get to the bottom
Speaker 1: of this stoe where he goes. I hope she's okay. Oh,
Speaker 1: she'll be fine. Don't worry. It's just classic. Right.
Speaker 2: Wait? Is it classic of her not to lock up
Speaker 2: and not to shut doors?
Speaker 1: Yes, not to answer when Roger's going Pash Pash are
Speaker 1: you there anyway, I get my stuff on and I
Speaker 1: go over, not expecting to find a dead body like
Speaker 1: a normal person would walk in there. I'm like, hello, hello,
Speaker 1: where are you? Then my phone rings again, that says
Speaker 1: mum mobile. I answer it and she goes, oh, hello, darling,
Speaker 1: I'm at Costco. Do you need some of that jumping soon?
Speaker 2: I said?
Speaker 1: I said, do you remember a guy called Roger. You're
Speaker 1: supposed to meet him at eleven o'clock. She goes, oh, forgot,
Speaker 1: that's it, no remorse nothing. The woman is an eye.
Speaker 2: Cras she really is. Do you say to her, hey, mom,
Speaker 2: you've got to start shutting your door and locking the gate. No? No,
Speaker 2: I mean she's come this far, why start now? She
Speaker 2: is thirteen twenty four to ten. Next we are playing
Speaker 2: around of Chrissy's quizy and there's a bum bag with
Speaker 2: your name on it.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show. You're help
Speaker 1: with the kicker.
Speaker 2: Why what are you giggling about? We're quite delirious today.
Speaker 1: You are listening to Christo or Noble. Let's give away
Speaker 1: this bumbag, shall we Chrissy's Quizzy. I've got a cramp
Speaker 1: in my middle.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I feel like I'm in an beached care.
Speaker 1: Home, stuck in flying the bird.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 1: Crosser.
Speaker 4: Hello, Hello, Hello, I love school.
Speaker 1: You've just picked up the kids from school?
Speaker 4: Lucky me, am I lucky?
Speaker 1: You're a lucky lady, Rosa. Hey, did I squish all
Speaker 1: snacks in your back seat?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: You know, my back seat looks like a bomb's gone.
Speaker 1: I had to hand my car over to somebody yesterday
Speaker 1: and I was madly Zach.
Speaker 4: The last time I got mine was she quoted me
Speaker 4: one hundred and fifty dollars once he looked in the
Speaker 4: back seat, and I was just like, yeah, he's just
Speaker 4: going to make up.
Speaker 1: For bettertas in there. Hello Lauren, Hi, how are good?
Speaker 1: You're off to basketball training?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Pick up the kids first, and then I've got
Speaker 4: basketball training after.
Speaker 1: So what time is school pickup?
Speaker 7: Well?
Speaker 5: Where's she currently sitting in the car park of the
Speaker 5: school with the kids in the background.
Speaker 4: I've told them to shut up.
Speaker 1: Yes, mummy. And then what time does basketball training kickoff?
Speaker 5: That's it starts at five and go till seven.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's a long night ahead for you, Lauren.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm the coach.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, may the best lady win? Your names
Speaker 1: are your buzzers. It is the best of five, which
Speaker 1: means the first one to three gets the bum bag
Speaker 1: and wins victory.
Speaker 2: Hey, Lauren, do you have your whistle on you at
Speaker 2: the moment?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 5: But I should get it out of the boot.
Speaker 2: Really yeah, can one of the kids get it out
Speaker 2: of the boot? I want to hear the whistle?
Speaker 1: And who's got the oranges?
Speaker 2: Alrighty? Question number one, let's get to this quiz. So
Speaker 2: one of you wins a bag.
Speaker 1: Where did Billie Eilish kick off the Australian Lover? Yes, Rosa, Brisbane?
Speaker 1: It is Brisbane. Where did Sushi janate Lauren Rosa?
Speaker 2: Yes, Lauren Japan correct.
Speaker 1: Rihanna is celebrating a birthday today. Have a birthday, queen.
Speaker 1: Can you name this hit of hers? Lauren?
Speaker 2: Lauren? Yep, Lauren play yes it is just can we
Speaker 2: enjoy a little bit of it?
Speaker 1: Shot to turn it down? You've got a snippet of
Speaker 1: her singing in the karaoke bar.
Speaker 2: Two points to Lauren, one to Rosa. Question four is
Speaker 2: for the wind laws.
Speaker 1: How many days does it does it take for the
Speaker 1: Earth to orbit the Sun, Lauren Rosa. I never know
Speaker 1: the answer to these. I'm always guessing, la Lauren. Three correct,
Speaker 1: look at you.
Speaker 5: They're allowed now, sash.
Speaker 1: Shame across the basketball court with your bum bag on
Speaker 1: and your whistling there.
Speaker 2: And did one of the kids get the whistle? Lauren?
Speaker 5: No they didn't.
Speaker 2: Well, good luck at basketball tonight, and thanks for playing Rods.
Speaker 2: I have a beautiful Thursday night. Sorry cut you off
Speaker 2: as you said, thanks, but you're welcome the Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: You are listening to the Christy Swan Show on Nova.
Speaker 2: Good for you, good for us, good on you.
Speaker 1: There's no backhanded compliment, there is there.
Speaker 2: No. We are very very complimentary of our listeners hand
Speaker 2: each other.
Speaker 1: Yes, we really do pump up each other's tires, don't.
Speaker 2: We We do? We do. We love to inflate one
Speaker 2: another's egos.
Speaker 1: Microphone is driving mccreazn limb. I feel like John bon Jovi.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about backhanded compliments. I think I
Speaker 1: might be the opinion that every compliment is a backhanded compliment,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. You be the judge thirteen twenty
Speaker 1: four ten. Has someone ever said something to you or
Speaker 1: you thought oh that's not. Oh hang on, oh that's not.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute.
Speaker 2: You and I, weirdly this week have both received them.
Speaker 1: Well, I wouldn't have known it was backhanded until you'd
Speaker 1: planted that seed in my head. Right, and yesterday our
Speaker 1: friend do I name them?
Speaker 2: He can handle it.
Speaker 1: Think he's listening. Beautiful, Troy ps T come in if
Speaker 1: you can hear me, Troy TP come in because he
Speaker 1: wouldn't know be horrified to think that he'd done something
Speaker 1: that has offended me, and hasn't.
Speaker 2: He's not here he was before. He's probably knocked off early.
Speaker 1: He's checking out my outfit. Anyway, yesterday I walked past
Speaker 1: his desk and he said I've known him for years.
Speaker 1: By the way he said. He said, because you've been
Speaker 1: looking really beautiful lately. And initially I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's just a nice thing. And then because you'd you'd
Speaker 1: planted the whole backhanded thing in my head, I thought, well,
Speaker 1: maybe the lately is backhanded, because what he's really saying
Speaker 1: is last year you looked like you had been scraped
Speaker 1: off the bottom of a landscape gardener's shoe or something.
Speaker 2: I loved the compliment because you straight away credited me
Speaker 2: and said, well, Jack said I had to serve looks
Speaker 2: every day. I say thank.
Speaker 1: You anyone anyone that says And I've been getting so
Speaker 1: many more compliments that I would normally get.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're not just wearing active wear every day.
Speaker 1: Every day someone says something.
Speaker 2: You're an extremely stylish lady too. You've got great clothes,
Speaker 2: You've got great taste. That's why I've empowered.
Speaker 1: You deal with everyone looking at you all the time.
Speaker 2: I love it. Sick. I received one last week from
Speaker 2: my mum. Sure hate that I'm saying this, but I
Speaker 2: just can't wait. I've been doing a little bit of
Speaker 2: work on the Today Show and Today Extra and stuff.
Speaker 1: I know, and you're so good and when obviously and
Speaker 1: you're not shiny either, I'm.
Speaker 2: Not thank you Christ and Swan and Channel nine makeup.
Speaker 2: But they Mum brought it up with me on the weekend.
Speaker 2: She goes, hey, I was watching you the other day,
Speaker 2: and she goes, your teeth look really great. But if
Speaker 2: you thought about veneers.
Speaker 1: So which one of these is true?
Speaker 2: Like? Wait, what I am committed to my oral b
Speaker 2: three D Whiting strips?
Speaker 1: How do they work? Do they just sort of settle
Speaker 1: on there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're great. Stick to tea. I do it once
Speaker 2: a week and I promise you it works. Wow. I
Speaker 2: was like, cheers Mum thirteen twenty four to ten. Have
Speaker 2: you received a backhanded compliment like Swane and I both
Speaker 2: have this week? It's quite something lately lately. Just for
Speaker 2: getting on air with us, we're going to send you
Speaker 2: to the movies with Hoyts Enjoy Bigger screens, better sound,
Speaker 2: and comfy of seats. Book now at Holts dot com
Speaker 2: Dot you Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: We're talking about backhanded compliments and you're going to really
Speaker 1: enjoy these, because we certainly have. In the song.
Speaker 4: Hello Emma, Hello, how are you?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yours is a goody?
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 7: Yes? So my sister in law paid me a backhanded
Speaker 7: compliment last week and said to me, I really like
Speaker 7: your dress, but have you thought about wearing would make
Speaker 7: you look a lot younger?
Speaker 1: Have you ever given that sort of fashion advice unsolicited
Speaker 1: to another living human being?
Speaker 7: No, and I don't think that she's in any position
Speaker 7: to be getting that to me.
Speaker 2: It savage Emma. We're going to send you a double
Speaker 2: pass to Holts Enjoy Bigger screens, better sound, and comfier
Speaker 2: seats books dot com dot are you You're so welcome?
Speaker 1: And Jack, would you ever say that? Would you ever?
Speaker 2: No? Absolutely not?
Speaker 1: Just out of the blue a lovely dress? But you
Speaker 1: know what, I would have done something differently. I would
Speaker 1: never do that.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't And unless unless someone asks for that advice
Speaker 2: and says, hey, Jack, what do you think about this dress?
Speaker 2: That's an invitation for me to say, Hey, I reckon
Speaker 2: you should go black instead of blue. But I would
Speaker 2: never say but you.
Speaker 1: Only give us even you only ever give that advice
Speaker 1: when you're near the wardrobe to change it. You don't
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: That's wild usual?
Speaker 1: Hi ella, hellou? What is your backhand compliment?
Speaker 5: When me and my partner started dating, one of my
Speaker 5: really good friends said.
Speaker 1: Oh, your boyfriend's so hot? How did you pull him?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: What does that? How old was the friend twenty?
Speaker 7: So are you younger than me?
Speaker 1: But how long had you known her?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 6: Like three years?
Speaker 2: Really is she still your friend?
Speaker 5: I know because she actually did try and start flirting
Speaker 5: with him.
Speaker 1: Okay, so that's what this is about.
Speaker 2: Hey ella, you've got yourself a double past to hoyts enjoy.
Speaker 1: Finish, Thank you so much. Seas with you, Emma, Hello, Hi, Hey,
Speaker 1: you going?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What is your backhand? To compliment? This is unbelievable.
Speaker 5: Meet and greet with my kids teachers this week and
Speaker 5: my kids very smart, and I thought I addressed.
Speaker 4: Appropriately that day, but the teacher was bat me up
Speaker 4: and down it goes?
Speaker 7: So, where do they get this from?
Speaker 1: Or your kids are really smart?
Speaker 6: Where do they get it from?
Speaker 1: You should have used that great you know line from
Speaker 1: Pretty Woman, Big Mistake.
Speaker 2: Shit.
Speaker 1: Crissy Swan Show. My kids are listening in the car.
Speaker 1: They love this. Ah, but heck, we do that sort
Speaker 1: of stuff in the kitchen. You know what I mean. Kids,
Speaker 1: you're listening to the Christy Swan Show on Nova.
Speaker 2: I've just had to wrangle you from our sales like
Speaker 2: staff because you've been going around shouting out about this
Speaker 2: brand new stapleer you're obsessed with. You just stop down
Speaker 2: our CEO to teach him how to use this new statement.
Speaker 2: Are you okay?
Speaker 1: And what was his reaction? He was impressed?
Speaker 2: He was impressed.
Speaker 1: I did stand at the top of the of the
Speaker 1: office and I looked at everybody in it and I said,
Speaker 1: does anyone love stationery? I got absolute crickets. Tom was
Speaker 1: looking at me like, you know, he's going to pick
Speaker 1: up the phone and go just just wait at the
Speaker 1: door for her. It's happened, it's happening.
Speaker 2: It's happening, it's happening. I'd love to know what the
Speaker 2: sales staff are saying. Now you're back in the studio.
Speaker 1: Can I believe how quiet it was when I said,
Speaker 1: does anyone love stationary? I was expecting yes, you know,
Speaker 1: like in a normal like in an office work sad you.
Speaker 2: Know, you know it's twenty twenty five though, when everyone
Speaker 2: uses laptops and computers, like we're not running around here
Speaker 2: finding staples and stuff.
Speaker 1: All right, smart as what's in every single one of
Speaker 1: these notes?
Speaker 2: I don't do it the printer staples for us here,
Speaker 2: so you don't need a staple.
Speaker 1: Pretty smart.
Speaker 2: We'll be back right after his quick.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, Chrissy's Clique Fait Are you going
Speaker 1: to do first? Jacober Lordie being insufferable to you now?
Speaker 2: Or let's talk about our first true love.
Speaker 1: Kim k First Okay, Kim Kay has introduced Slash announced
Speaker 1: lab Nike skims. Can I tell you skims are the
Speaker 1: best shape where going. I've heard this, they really are.
Speaker 2: I've also heard that the men's wear is really great.
Speaker 2: I've not tried it. I need to get some skims jocks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think one of the big departments still stock it.
Speaker 1: I had. I just thought skims aren't going to fit me,
Speaker 1: They're not going to be very you know, you just
Speaker 1: assume that it's just going to be gimmicky. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: last television show was it must have been mass singer Wardrobe,
Speaker 1: give you shapewear so that you can wear those crackers
Speaker 1: outfits without your guts popping out. And they gave me
Speaker 1: this thing. I unrolled it. It looked like something Peg
Speaker 1: wore when she was four days old. I was like,
Speaker 1: I am not getting this body into that. And she's
Speaker 1: like you watch and it just goes on and they're
Speaker 1: comfortable and they they're really they're the best in the market.
Speaker 2: I mean what the woman is just a marvel. She
Speaker 2: nails everything.
Speaker 1: And these Nike skims are designed to sculpt and engineer
Speaker 1: it to perform.
Speaker 2: We love that.
Speaker 1: Xenna Foster whoever she is, says congratulations, skims is taking over,
Speaker 1: and someone else said, you're a working queen. And her
Speaker 1: mom did the opposite, Chris Jenner posted a highly airbrushed
Speaker 1: photograph herself reclining an alimed timber Stare wearing a competitive
Speaker 1: brand of sweatshirt and runners.
Speaker 2: I love this accent, so I'm much I wish you
Speaker 2: could do the full show in it.
Speaker 1: And Kim Kardashian commented on her mom's post, saying, did
Speaker 1: you like really have to post this on the same
Speaker 1: day as my naked skims announcement? Question mark exclamation?
Speaker 2: Ten? You're spiraling? Ten, Tim, You're spiraling.
Speaker 1: He says, I'm going to doc you pay. Moms can
Speaker 1: be very, very embarrassing. I remember I invited my mom
Speaker 1: onto the seat of the circle. Oh yes, because she's
Speaker 1: a massive Oliving Newton John fan, and Olvia Newton John
Speaker 1: was going to be on there, huge perfect They're women
Speaker 1: of the same age, same vintage, whatever, It's going to
Speaker 1: be incredible. Also on the same day, Haymi Shenandy were
Speaker 1: guests on the show that was by the bye, mom
Speaker 1: sits down, well, no, Hami Shenandy or you know my
Speaker 1: age and Olivin Newton John is an icon for my mother.
Speaker 1: Didn't stop my mum though. Patty Swan sits down next
Speaker 1: to Olivia Newton John and I say, Pat, this is
Speaker 1: Olivia Olivia Pat, and Mum goes, oh, it's very nice
Speaker 1: to meet you, but I'm here. Hemus Shenandy. I wanted
Speaker 1: to die iconic.
Speaker 2: We need to get either haym Mishirandy did and tell
Speaker 2: them that story how they crossed up.
Speaker 1: And then she I had to get photos of her
Speaker 1: like in between, Haymi shen Andy, like, holy no, that
Speaker 1: is so good. Let's talk about Jacob Lordie because it's over.
Speaker 1: The honeymoon is over. He was your true north. He
Speaker 1: was my number one, he was your numero.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: I fell in love with his character in Euphoria and
Speaker 2: since then I've loved everything he does. He's a ten
Speaker 2: out of ten.
Speaker 1: It's just exquisite looking. A new film out looks like
Speaker 1: an army sort of deal called Berlinale. Anyway, it's a
Speaker 1: Richard Planning Prize winning novel, five part genre mashing limited series.
Speaker 1: Very exciting. But it seems like Jacob Lordie has gone
Speaker 1: from like humble, laid back, cool, natural, frizzy guy, too insufferable.
Speaker 8: There's a feeling I call it cinema. When you experience cinema,
Speaker 8: Oh do you you're sort of in a room and
Speaker 8: you watch it, and it does that thing to you,
Speaker 8: that kind of profound, unnameable thing that moves you and
Speaker 8: confirms you on this planet, in this life. That's what
Speaker 8: I sort of chase. I guess as a performer, I
Speaker 8: want to try and be a part of that. So
Speaker 8: I really am just like a super fan who's kind
Speaker 8: of following his heart. I suppose I have no real
Speaker 8: interest in making movies for the sake of entertainment, for
Speaker 8: making money.
Speaker 1: Come off it, bro, Then come on now, Jacob, I
Speaker 1: call it cinema. I'm so sorry. It's so stupid for
Speaker 1: calling the movies.
Speaker 2: I think, what we're such an idiot.
Speaker 1: What did you call it when you were at Toombule
Speaker 1: trying to find you? Subaru Forester, Jacob.
Speaker 2: No, I still want to love him. But the movies,
Speaker 2: I think sometimes these dudes and these gals they go
Speaker 2: to LA, they get swept up in it. They maybe
Speaker 2: dabble a little too much and they start to lose it.
Speaker 1: That I think that's a dare.
Speaker 2: You don't think that's legit.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's possible to go from a normal,
Speaker 1: grounded person to that, to whatever that was I.
Speaker 2: Think it is swnny. He's gone full festpo.
Speaker 1: I call it cinema.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what it is. Oh dear hey Tomorrow Christy's
Speaker 2: correspondence returned heavy well Jacob sliding your ends at the
Speaker 2: Christy Swan Show. If you hear tomorrow neat feedback, check
Speaker 2: this out.
Speaker 1: The Christy Swan Show is a Nova podcast. For more
Speaker 1: great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast dot com.
Speaker 4: Do you