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Speaker 1: Coming up on relatables title the Battle between Me and

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Speaker 1: a girl who's got a crush.

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Speaker 2: On my boyfriend. Surely you're winning this.

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Speaker 1: Hey, guys, love the pod. Got a long and confusing

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Speaker 1: dilemma for you.

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Speaker 3: Relatable Relata.

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Speaker 1: Relatles podcast by myself, mister Joe Craig.

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Speaker 3: Okay, why you had a breath, I'm not I was

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Speaker 3: breathing out as I said that whole thing.

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Speaker 1: Daddy and my partner in crimesotic crack.

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Speaker 2: Oh girl, Yeah, you sound like one of those people

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Speaker 2: with the auctioneers. Gone once, gone twice, going three times.

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Speaker 2: So to the short man five foot ten to two

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Speaker 2: by right, do you imagine you bought a house?

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Speaker 3: They said that to the on s.

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Speaker 1: Twice soul to the short man in the back, imagine

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Speaker 1: they said that.

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Speaker 2: You spent like one point three million dollars.

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Speaker 1: Get disrespected like they just paid your bills.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, disrespect bad. He's talking to a Dilemmas episode. Dilemmas

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Speaker 2: episodes are back.

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Speaker 1: Okay, before we get started, This is and a Dilemas

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Speaker 1: episode just from like our main Dilemmas link.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but what we're.

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Speaker 1: Gonna be doing is probably like maybe once or twice

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Speaker 1: a month the lemmas episodes. We will have links in

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Speaker 1: the description for we want you to give us dilemmas

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Speaker 1: that are either about sex or about men.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and they will be episodes that come out in April. Yes,

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Speaker 2: so get on top of them. And then if maybe

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Speaker 2: you listen to this, to this in a couple of

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Speaker 2: weeks down the track, you're like, fuck a man's piece

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Speaker 2: of shit. I need some advice. Yep, click the link

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Speaker 2: and we will get to them. Hell yeah, but today, Jake,

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Speaker 2: like you said, we got some og dilemmas that could

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Speaker 2: be here, there, and everywhere.

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Speaker 1: You look.

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Speaker 2: Ready to go, let's do this, Okay.

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Speaker 1: My fiance and I have been together seven years. At

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Speaker 1: the time, I was fifteen and he was seventeen when

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Speaker 1: we first started dating. We've been through a lot together

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Speaker 1: and I love him dearly. We laugh together and have

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Speaker 1: great times together. My dilemma is we have little to

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Speaker 1: no emotional connection.

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Speaker 2: What's quite a big dilemma.

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Speaker 1: Everything is pretty surface level. I'm struggling with it now,

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Speaker 1: more so because I've been working on myself, going to

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Speaker 1: therapy and learning that I need more from him. I

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Speaker 1: know men aren't as emotional as women, and I don't

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm asking for a lot. But when I

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Speaker 1: try to bring this up, I get shut down immediately.

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Speaker 1: What is this? Twenty one questions in quotes like that's

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Speaker 1: what he asks, or it turns into an argument. I've

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Speaker 1: tried so many different ways of talking to him, and

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Speaker 1: the opposite of giving him space in the hopes he

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Speaker 1: will come around another thing. He changes his mind constantly.

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Speaker 1: One day it's I never want to get married, and

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Speaker 1: then he proposes, and then he goes back to I

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Speaker 1: never want to get married. I'm confused a lot about

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Speaker 1: where he sees us going, and I have in my

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Speaker 1: future plans but he says, well, I could die tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: so I have no plans. I came clean about not

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Speaker 1: being happy recently and feeling lonely in our relationship, and

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Speaker 1: since then, I think he's pushing me away. But I

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Speaker 1: think part of me has settled, and I don't like

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Speaker 1: that about myself. I don't want to settle for less

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Speaker 1: than I need. Don't get me wrong. He's a great

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Speaker 1: provider and also extremely polite to me and other people,

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Speaker 1: but there's no emotional connectional vulnerability, and I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: I should do so, and I'm not sure I should

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Speaker 1: continue to wait and hope it grows out of it,

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Speaker 1: or if I should leave because I deserve to find

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Speaker 1: a guy who has all those qualities and can have

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Speaker 1: a deep conversation about things like our future. I feel stuck,

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Speaker 1: slash frozen, and I need some honest advice from a

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Speaker 1: male's perspective, provider and polite. That's what he brings. The tables,

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Speaker 1: he said, he brings laughs, They laugh together, fucking watch

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Speaker 1: a Netflix series, go to a comedian break up with

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Speaker 1: them done to the next line.

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Speaker 2: Look, honestly though, it's hard too because she said she

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Speaker 2: is growing as a person, which happens, and it's way

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Speaker 2: harder because you've been dating for so long, right, But

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Speaker 2: he's also all over the shop inconsistent.

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Speaker 1: See that's honestly. Here's the thing. Tell her you want

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Speaker 1: to get married, or tell her you don't want to

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Speaker 1: get married, but just choose one. What it seems like

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Speaker 1: she obviously wants to get married, so he don't engage. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he did it so she would be happy.

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Speaker 2: And then he's like, oh.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I actually don't want to be married.

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Speaker 2: I'm just in this ball of confusion and it makes

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Speaker 2: it so much harder because you've been together for so long.

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of people do stay in relationships too,

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Speaker 2: because that's all they ever know, especially if you've been

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Speaker 2: together since you were fifteen and he was seventeen. Hey,

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Speaker 2: also think about this. It's been seven years. Sounds like

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Speaker 2: a long time. You're only twenty two. Facts, quick, math,

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Speaker 2: fucking leave him. It's not really fair on you. So like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, it's about setting boundaries for yourself. Maybe

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Speaker 2: have one more conversation. Ah, yeah, but it's been seven years, Jake,

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Speaker 2: it's still it's just like he's plot, he's a provider. Yeah, Honestly,

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Speaker 2: it's hard though. I want to play a devil's advocate

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Speaker 2: because it is hard because you also think I've got

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Speaker 2: a polite provider who's funny, and then you hear all

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Speaker 2: these stories of all these negative men, and if I

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Speaker 2: go back into the dating field, well I get one

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Speaker 2: of those negative ones. In what I had, it seems blissful,

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Speaker 2: and I say, I would prefer to be alone then

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Speaker 2: be in that.

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Speaker 1: But also like I think I would prefer to be

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Speaker 1: with someone who, like I can have an emotional conversation with,

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Speaker 1: and he might be not right for me, Like you'd

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Speaker 1: almost prefer to just like have massive fights with someone

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Speaker 1: just so there's some emotion in the relationship.

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Speaker 2: I also didn't really agree with she said men aren't emotional.

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Speaker 2: We are emotional in a different way. Men are actually

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Speaker 2: some of the most emotional. Yeah, I mean I have

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Speaker 2: seen a lot of young men throw remote controllers and

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Speaker 2: don't give him any sort of excuses to be like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: but he's not as emotional as women. When emotional a

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Speaker 2: different way, and you need to find someone who can

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Speaker 2: compliment your emotions.

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Speaker 1: Like you're making excuses for him, yeah, which does not

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Speaker 1: benefit you at all. No, you should like, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: you've been brainwashed. Yeah, because he has emotions. He just

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Speaker 1: literally is being lazy, Like he just doesn't love you.

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Speaker 1: Like that's like super hard to say, but like he

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Speaker 1: might think he loves you, and you might think you

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Speaker 1: love him. But like I was, and I don't want

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Speaker 1: to say that. It's hard to say that because maybe

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Speaker 1: you do. I have no idea obviously, but from what I.

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Speaker 2: Can like, no, no, what it is you know? I mean,

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Speaker 2: it's like I know what it is. Yeah, you've done

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Speaker 2: some soul searching. He's too comfortable. He's never done soul searching,

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Speaker 2: watching in his life because he's always had a badie

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Speaker 2: since he was seventeen, that guy, and now now you're

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Speaker 2: realizing what I could do better, And he's like, I

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Speaker 2: could never do better than this beautiful baddy in front

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Speaker 2: of me.

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Speaker 1: I would even think he's thinking that I reckon. He

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Speaker 1: feels as though she's privileged to be with him.

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Speaker 2: I don't like him, yeah, yah, fair, fair if I

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Speaker 2: was being treated this way too, like it's not fair. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but bat her, you know what to do. You know

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Speaker 2: what to do. Break up with him, don't have sex

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Speaker 2: with him anymore? All right, Hi, guys, I need some

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Speaker 2: serious advice. So I've been talking to this guy for

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Speaker 2: about six months and we've officially been dating for the

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Speaker 2: last month. The catch is we're kind of long distance.

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Speaker 2: He lives in Sydney and I'm in Canberra. He's honestly

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Speaker 2: so committed he drives down most weekends to see me,

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Speaker 2: which I feel a little bit guilty about because I'm

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Speaker 2: a broke UNI student, so I can't really help it.

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Speaker 1: Though.

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Speaker 2: Okay, fair, here's the problem. Though, what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: I'm looking out how far Canberra is? Oh? Okay, stop

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Speaker 1: on my phone.

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Speaker 2: Here's the problem, though, I've started to realize the relationship

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Speaker 2: might be a bit one sided. He's completely head over

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Speaker 2: heels for me, like obsessed level, and I'm still not

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Speaker 2: sure how I feel. I like him, but I don't

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Speaker 2: know if I like him enough. Another thing that's kind

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Speaker 2: of freaking me out is that he keeps bringing up

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Speaker 2: marriage and kids and for contact. I'm eighteen and he's nineteen.

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Speaker 2: It just feels really intense, really fast. And to make

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Speaker 2: matters worse, the sex is terrible, like really bad. So

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Speaker 2: my dilemma is, do I stick it out and see

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Speaker 2: if my feelings grow since he chases me so well

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Speaker 2: and makes the effort, or am I wasting both of

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Speaker 2: our time? And should I just end it now before

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Speaker 2: he gets even more attached?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Uh, definitely end it now, because like I think

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Speaker 1: that sex can be maybe like not great for you, right,

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Speaker 1: and it could the sex could be like bad for you,

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Speaker 1: But if you guys have like sexual chemistry, like it

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Speaker 1: still is good, if that makes any sense. Like I

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Speaker 1: would say, Beth has taught me a lot, but like

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't think she would. I can

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Speaker 1: pretty confidently say that in the beginning of our relationship

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Speaker 1: she didn't like she wanted to have sex a lot, like,

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Speaker 1: she didn't dislike it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if that makes me, I can confidently.

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Speaker 1: Say that I had a bit of an idea and

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Speaker 1: she's like taught me a lot that you learn things

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Speaker 1: about people. It's been like six months. The sex is

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Speaker 1: still shit.

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Speaker 2: There's a difference between teaching someone about your own body

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Speaker 2: and teaching someone how to have sex. Yeah, they're two

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Speaker 2: different things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And also the drive is about three hours, Okay, yeah.

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Speaker 2: So three hours. Look, she's eighteen, new to this dating world. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: having sex, Yeah, being treated nicely and look, it's fun

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Speaker 2: and exciting at the start, but I think there's too

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Speaker 2: many points here to not overlook.

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Speaker 1: Well, I just think that, Yeah, when you name so

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Speaker 1: many things of what's kind of freaking you out a bit,

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Speaker 1: like just break up with that. Sex is terrible.

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Speaker 2: You wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't date someone when the sex you think you're

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Speaker 1: not too sure. It's just six months in and you're

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Speaker 1: not too sure how you feel about him. You know,

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Speaker 1: he's head over heels for you. He talks about marriage

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Speaker 1: and future and buying houses in the future and stuff

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Speaker 1: like that, and you're like, well, plus the sex is shit.

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Speaker 1: Like the fact, like if you were with someone that

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Speaker 1: you are boyfriend and girlfriend with right and they're talking

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Speaker 1: about the future and that turns you off a bit,

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Speaker 1: like you don't want to be with them for long term,

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Speaker 1: so break up with me?

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Speaker 2: What's it called when? Like, because a lot of people

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Speaker 2: do it, Like you get in a relationship and then

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Speaker 2: you just like jump to the future like so quickly. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I want to date you, but like I don't know

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Speaker 2: if I want to marry you right now? Like chill

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Speaker 2: the fuck out? What's that called?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: Because we're we've had friends before, we say I love

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Speaker 2: you after like one week and obviously you don't love

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Speaker 2: each other.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, it's kind of hard. It's like you

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Speaker 1: can have maybe some form of love for this person,

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Speaker 1: like you love the idea of having them the idea

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Speaker 1: because like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, is it is that called something jumping into it

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Speaker 2: too quick?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Rushing?

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Speaker 2: But is this worth a conversation? You don't really like conversations, But.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like, what are you gonna say to it?

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Speaker 2: He's a good bloke and he's making the effort tick tick.

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Speaker 2: He's just obsessed. But that's kind of nice.

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Speaker 1: You want to do it? You want him to yearn

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Speaker 1: which is doing Okay. Here's my thing is like, like

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Speaker 1: if you were acting in a way that you're so

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Speaker 1: you feel this type of way about your girlfriend, and

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Speaker 1: you're acting and like you're in love with her, right

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Speaker 1: if your head over heels, you're like so giddy or

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Speaker 1: whatever and stuff like that, and you think the relationships

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Speaker 1: going great, you're doing you know, you go see her

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Speaker 1: watches at UNI and blah blah blah blah blah, and

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Speaker 1: then one day she goes, I really want to slow

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Speaker 1: things down. Like how would that make you feel? Because

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Speaker 1: like it would feel shitty maybe to be honest, if

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Speaker 1: you want to stay with him, the only thing you

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Speaker 1: can do is have the conversation of being like I

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Speaker 1: want to slow things down. This is moving too fast

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Speaker 1: for me. And then it's up to him how he

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Speaker 1: takes it. Like if he was to break up with

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Speaker 1: you for that, I don't think that's a crazy reason

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Speaker 1: to break up because like you guys aren't compatible in

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Speaker 1: that way then because he likes to fall hard and fast.

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Speaker 1: But I think the conversation the conversations worth having. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I actually do agree.

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Speaker 2: And also, like she's eighteen, he's nineteen. I didn't have

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Speaker 2: the communication skills around sex then no, so I think

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Speaker 2: have the conversation too, because to be honest, he's probably

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Speaker 2: just not had sex with a lot of.

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Speaker 1: People, probably not know. Also, if you could get the

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Speaker 1: sex to be better, like if you could direct him,

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Speaker 1: you could be the one who cooks, you could be

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Speaker 1: the one who could and it's not but you might

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Speaker 1: forehead over heels once the sex is good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and like to be fair, it's not that hard.

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Speaker 2: It's an awkward conversation at the start, but to teach him,

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Speaker 2: it's really not that hard.

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Speaker 1: No, Well, all you have to say is like after

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Speaker 1: a session, like, oh that thing you did didn't like it.

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Speaker 1: That thing you did liked it, Do more of it.

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Speaker 1: Simple things like that way, as a man, when my

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Speaker 1: girlfriend says she likes a certain thing, I double down

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Speaker 1: on that one thing the same And it makes me

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Speaker 1: seem like I'm being like all I'm doing is double down,

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Speaker 1: doubling down on this one thing I randomly.

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Speaker 2: Did one time. And especially because he's young, it also

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Speaker 2: works for me. It increases my confidence. Yeah, if she

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Speaker 2: says I like that and I do it and I

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Speaker 2: can see she's enjoying it, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm

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Speaker 2: doing my job like I'm fucking turning.

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Speaker 1: Up and that makes me harder. Yeah, it does.

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Speaker 2: So conversation and then see how he acts, and then

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Speaker 2: if he doesn't change, breakup with him and don't have

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Speaker 2: sex with him anymore.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, title the battle between me and a

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Speaker 1: girl who's got a crush on my boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Surely you're winning this.

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Speaker 1: Hey, guys, love the pod got a long and confusing

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Speaker 1: dilemma for you. So. I've been in my relationship for

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Speaker 1: three years. I was seventeen and he was eighteen when

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Speaker 1: we started dating. From the start, I had a weird

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Speaker 1: gut feeling about a girl he was friends with. I

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Speaker 1: asked him about it, and he said they are just

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Speaker 1: friends and nothing has happened between them. I chose to

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Speaker 1: believe him, even though I still had a bad gut feeling.

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Speaker 1: He came up to me. Sorry. Yeah, he came up

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Speaker 1: to me one day and showed me tiktoks that she

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Speaker 1: had been sending him. I knew then that she clearly

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Speaker 1: liked him and isn't being subtle. He blocked her on

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Speaker 1: TikTok and snapchat. About a year later, I noticed she's

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Speaker 1: back on Snapchat. I never go through his phone, so

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Speaker 1: who knows how long she's been on there for. I

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Speaker 1: asked him again, why is she snap and he mentioned

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Speaker 1: how she rang him crying and he felt bad. At

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Speaker 1: this stage, she has a boyfriend. I chose to ignore

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Speaker 1: it and move on. I then met her for the

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Speaker 1: first time at a party and she literally fed him

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Speaker 1: cake right in front of me. My boyfriend and I

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Speaker 1: got into an argument and we ended up leaving early

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Speaker 1: as I was a mess. He was still claiming nothing

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Speaker 1: has happened between them in the past or currently. Now

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Speaker 1: jump forward to this year. We have moved together and

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Speaker 1: started a company, and a couple weeks ago, my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: and I went to some races and she was there

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Speaker 1: and smoved and surprised surprise, she only hugged him and

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Speaker 1: said hi to him when I was standing right there.

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Speaker 1: The next day, I finally just went through his phone

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Speaker 1: and through the saved chats in their snapchat, I found

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Speaker 1: chats of them flirting and clearly they were becoming a

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Speaker 1: thing before he met. I confronted him about it, and

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Speaker 1: he finally spilled that they were talking before he knew me,

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Speaker 1: and all they had done is kiss. He claims that

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Speaker 1: every time he blocked her, she would claim she was

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Speaker 1: depressed and make him feel guilty for removing her. And

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Speaker 1: the reason why he wouldn't tell me about it is

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Speaker 1: so there was no drama and didn't.

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Speaker 2: Want to hurt me.

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Speaker 1: He looked straight into my eyes and told me that

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Speaker 1: he never did anything with her while we had been

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Speaker 1: together for three years. Well, we have been together three

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Speaker 1: years and I truly believe he loves me. He's blocked

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Speaker 1: her and everything now and has been trying to get

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Speaker 1: trying hard to get my trust back. Do you have

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Speaker 1: any advice for how I could trust him again? As

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Speaker 1: I am overthinking he is lying again? What should I do?

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Speaker 1: And would you call this cheating? Sorry? For how long?

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Speaker 1: This is? Love you guys? Ps? We moved into the

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Speaker 1: same towns where she lives, so that's why they ran

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Speaker 1: into her.

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Speaker 2: No, my answer is no, I don't have any advice

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Speaker 2: how to trust him again. I don't want you to

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Speaker 2: trust him again. Oh yeah, I don't have any advice

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Speaker 2: and how to trust him again? Because how could you

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Speaker 2: genuine question you when trust is broken out? Could you

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Speaker 2: he break a trust disrespect, lying, going behind your back?

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Speaker 2: This guy's fucking playing you like a fucking fiddle. Sorry, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean like it's one thing to maybe like, let's say,

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Speaker 2: who cares about hypothetical, because that's not the situation. This

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00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:14,800
Speaker 2: is a situation.

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Speaker 1: I think that the reason you don't trust him is

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Speaker 1: because he broke your trust and it's going to be

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Speaker 1: very difficult to ever trust him again. Yeah, Like that's

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Speaker 1: the thing. So I've never been in a situation where

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Speaker 1: someone has broken my trust and I've then not trusted them, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and had to try and regain that. So I have

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Speaker 1: zero experience in that because I personally think that you

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to rebuild it.

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Speaker 2: So she asked, is this considered cheating?

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Speaker 1: I don't know if cheating is the right word, But

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Speaker 1: then's what the messages were like while you were dating.

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Speaker 1: It's a bit of a hard one like cheating, No,

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Speaker 1: but like just mega disrespectful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and also sly yes, greasy.

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Speaker 1: Like how dare he choose to keep that from you

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Speaker 1: just because he didn't want there to be drama and

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Speaker 1: didn't want you to like feel shitty.

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Speaker 2: It's kind of gaslighting. Let me make an informed decision

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Speaker 2: about how I feel exactly, Like, just be honest.

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Speaker 1: Every step of the way. Be like she called me

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Speaker 1: crying made me feel guilty. I've added her back that

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Speaker 1: was yesterday. I just wanted to let you know. And again, like,

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Speaker 1: the reason he didn't tell you I don't like it

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Speaker 1: is because he knows it's wrong. Okay, he knows it's

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Speaker 1: stupid and he knows it's wrong.

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Speaker 2: So obviously our answer is we both couldn't look past this.

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Speaker 2: But but the sounds of it at the end of

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Speaker 2: this this baddie is more open than us, and she's already.

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Speaker 1: Well she's in the relationship. So maybe if we were

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Speaker 1: in a relationship.

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Speaker 2: How could you start to trust him again? Or can

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Speaker 2: you be open to that? Is that a question?

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00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:59,359
Speaker 1: Because she seems like commnded. I think that if you

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Speaker 1: don't one to break up, my advice is break up.

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Speaker 2: By the way, Yeah, but my advice is don't have

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Speaker 2: sex with anymore.

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Speaker 1: If you but stay with him, you pick, So my

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Speaker 1: advice is break up. But if you decide to trust

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Speaker 1: him again or to not break up and try and

386
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Speaker 1: trust him again, I think that what needs to happen

387
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:24,840
Speaker 1: is some very very open communication from the beginning of

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Speaker 1: you saying how you're feeling quite often and same as him. Also,

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Speaker 1: like he needs to understand that this is going to

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00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,960
Speaker 1: hurt for you for quite a while and he's the

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Speaker 1: one that did that. Guilt sucks, but he is the

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00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,359
Speaker 1: one that hurt you. Like you could probably go a

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00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,119
Speaker 1: month and not think about it once, but then you

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00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,520
Speaker 1: could think about it and look at him and think

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Speaker 1: you betrayed my trust and then be nearly back to

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Speaker 1: square one again. And I think that that's okay. Like

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Speaker 1: I think that your feelings that you're feeling now could

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00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,640
Speaker 1: all flood back even after like six months of quote

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Speaker 1: unquote healing. But it's something that you need to be

400
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:10,400
Speaker 1: prepared for, and I think that's something he also needs

401
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,280
Speaker 1: to be prepared for, Like he needs to be prepared

402
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,919
Speaker 1: to be patient because he's the one that broke the trust.

403
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Speaker 1: So I think that what needs to happen is, like

404
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 1: you guys need to sit down and have like a

405
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Speaker 1: very honest chat, and I think you need to really

406
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Speaker 1: tell him how this makes you feel. Like it's gonna

407
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 1: be shitty for a while. I think that's the thing

408
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Speaker 1: where people are like, oh, can I trust him again?

409
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 1: You're not gonna trust him again straight away, Like it's

410
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,359
Speaker 1: gonna be shitty for a while. In my opinion, I

411
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Speaker 1: just can't see.

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Speaker 2: Are they both willing to put in the work. I

413
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 2: love an analogy like this is how I see it.

414
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,440
Speaker 2: So you started dating, and let's use the analogy of

415
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 2: building a house. You build the foundations, you put the

416
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 2: framework up, the house started to be being built, the

417
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,439
Speaker 2: roof was put on, and you started to furnish that bitch.

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Speaker 2: Then a tornado came in, a fucking tornado, being this girl,

419
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Speaker 2: the whole house is gone.

420
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Speaker 1: And you didn't have insurance.

421
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's got this fucking block of land with rubble

422
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,680
Speaker 2: all over it because of your boyfriend. Girl, You've got

423
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,960
Speaker 2: to restart, and the restarting is firstly getting rid of

424
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 2: all the rubble, which is the ship bit, and then

425
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,880
Speaker 2: you can start again. It'll be nice again. But that's

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Speaker 2: going to take six months, a year, two years.

427
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Speaker 1: So I think, like, look, there's every chance in the

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Speaker 1: world that what we all just like what we said

429
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Speaker 1: is wrong. But like just thinking about it from an

430
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,680
Speaker 1: outside perspective and really black and white terms, like it's

431
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Speaker 1: just gonna be like that for I don't know, black

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Speaker 1: and white.

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Speaker 2: I don't reckon we're wrong. If my girlfriend for three

434
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Speaker 2: years was on and off with some dude and I

435
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Speaker 2: didn't know about it, and she lied to me. I'm black.

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Speaker 1: Nah, this is over same, same, same. But that's the

437
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 1: thing is like it's hard because initially she had a

438
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: bad good feeling about her Yeah, and then like her

439
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 1: boyfriend never like physically cheated, but there is like some

440
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 1: emotional things going on that makes it almost a little

441
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 1: bit worse, especially the fact that he lied for so long.

442
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, so hot.

443
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 1: Fucking better Yeah, better be hot, better be fucking hot.

444
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 1: Oh my god, not that it matters, but he better

445
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 1: be fucking.

446
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:16,640
Speaker 2: Alrighty a little shorty. Can a girl and a guy

447
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 2: just be friends with benefits that end it. I've been

448
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 2: sleeping with this guy and the sex is actually insane.

449
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 2: I don't feel emotionally connected to him, and we try

450
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 2: to have deep chats.

451
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,919
Speaker 1: We try to or try not to. Oh yeah, no,

452
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 1: we try not too. So oh I was gonna say,

453
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,679
Speaker 1: I don't feel emotionally connected to him, and we do

454
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 1: not try to have deep chats.

455
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:42,159
Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm worried that if we keep consistently sleeping with

456
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 2: each other, we might slowly develop feelings. I'm not in

457
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 2: the mindset at all to have a relationship, and neither

458
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 2: is he. In my mind, I'm convinced it's just sex,

459
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 2: but part of me wants to cut off just in

460
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,439
Speaker 2: case it does turn into more. Surely we can just

461
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 2: have sex and that be it. But is it ever

462
00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 2: really that simple?

463
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 1: No, it's not.

464
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 2: But it's insane, Jake, Like, we've got a baddie over here.

465
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,679
Speaker 2: The first dilemma of me who's having sex with a boyfriend.

466
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 1: It's terrible.

467
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 3: This girl no strings attached, and the sex is fucking insane.

468
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 1: Paper. It sounds awesome on paper. It sounds amazing for

469
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: them on paper, it sounds amazing for like they just

470
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 1: rock up river, dump his clothes off. It's intense, it's sexy,

471
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 1: like you know, it's I'm sure there's a lot of

472
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 1: like oh yeah, oh fuck.

473
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's actually it's fucking cassion Like you said, he

474
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 3: just finishes inside. Yeah, eventually the sex is like come

475
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 3: comes out. He fucking puts it all over a clip

476
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 3: and he's like, yeah, it's wear but lungs, dirty dog,

477
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 3: that's what I'm picturing. And he has a fucking massive car.

478
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 4: Describe it?

479
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 2: Why didn't you describe it?

480
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 1: Yeah? Actually know what next time? Baddie's time we get

481
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 1: anything kind of like this, Write us out what one

482
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 1: of your sex sessions was like, as if you're Sarah J. Mass.

483
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, and describe the penis like size compared to a cucumber,

484
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 2: banana exactly, maybe a baby cucumber. If the sex is bad, yeah,

485
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:17,360
Speaker 2: give me visual representations of what it's like like as

486
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 2: if you're Rebecca Yarra Surgery Mass and give us something

487
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:30,119
Speaker 2: I reckon. Here's my advice. Ten days have sex as

488
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 2: much as you can.

489
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 1: That's right, cut it off.

490
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying, ten days of the max.

491
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, Because my question is is like, if he had

492
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 1: sex with another woman, how would you feel?

493
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 2: True?

494
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 1: But the sounds of it, she wouldn't care. You never

495
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 1: know though you say you don't care, Yeah, but if

496
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 1: she had, if he had sex with someone else, would

497
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 1: you care? And then what just like what if you

498
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,159
Speaker 1: had sexual another guy?

499
00:23:59,320 --> 00:23:59,880
Speaker 2: Would he care?

500
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: And like if you do your feelings? Yeah, it's my

501
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:04,439
Speaker 1: simple answer.

502
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm saying, use it and abuse it for

503
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 2: ten days and that's that's too long. After that, abuse

504
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 2: it onto the next just yeah, and after the ten days,

505
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,439
Speaker 2: cut him off. And that was a good moment in

506
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 2: my life. I don't want to think about him anymore.

507
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 1: Make it five yeah, five days, make it five days,

508
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 1: make him fall in love him five days, and then

509
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 1: you just be like no, no, no, what yeah? Yeah?

510
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 2: What if you said to him like you're three days

511
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,880
Speaker 2: and the like this has this has an expiring day

512
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 2: in seven days, I'm leaving, so let's have as much

513
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 2: fucking sex as possible. Yeah, yeah, guy, I would love

514
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 2: to hear that, because you're both kind of like mentally

515
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 2: checking out, but when you're there, you just fucking a man.

516
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 1: Would love to hear that.

517
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 2: I'm telling you.

518
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: Okay, One night wonder leads to one month confusion wonder.

519
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:49,920
Speaker 1: Hey guys, So I slept with a guy the first night.

520
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 1: I met him at a frat house. I'm in college,

521
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 1: and the sex was.

522
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 2: So good, you know what, because he's fucking like the

523
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 2: best I ever had.

524
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: After it was over, I was walking out to leave

525
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 1: and he said, where do you think you're going? And

526
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,360
Speaker 1: he grabs me and kisses me on the forehead goodbye.

527
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 4: Ooh.

528
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:11,400
Speaker 1: This left me very confused. Later, we have each other's socials,

529
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 1: but didn't talk until he wanted to hang out again.

530
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 1: We hang out and he asks if we want to

531
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 1: have sex again, but I told him no. We still

532
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,639
Speaker 1: hang out sometimes and have since slept together a couple

533
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 1: of times. It is very friendly between us, and I

534
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,120
Speaker 1: don't know if he wants more or if he want

535
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,919
Speaker 1: just wants to fuck. We had a talk and he

536
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 1: confirmed that we are in a situationship. I asked him

537
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,919
Speaker 1: if he was exclusive, and he said no, but he

538
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 1: can be. I told him I was, and I guess

539
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,160
Speaker 1: now we are. I have no clue what is going

540
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 1: on in this man's head, and I really need a bias.

541
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 1: Thanks guys.

542
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 2: Oh look, okay, what does the situationship mean?

543
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: It's a great question.

544
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 2: And then she also said, I guess we're exclusive. You

545
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 2: didn't say, okay, stop having sex with people?

546
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 1: What? Look? I think you need to be a little

547
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 1: more open, open and honest with yourself first first, and foremost,

548
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,679
Speaker 1: let's be open and honest with ourselves. Do you like

549
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 1: this guy? Yeah? Yes? Or no question? Yes?

550
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 2: He said about him.

551
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 1: Would you like to be in a relationship with this man? Like?

552
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 1: Can you see it going there? Yes? Cool?

553
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 2: All right?

554
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: Now go say to this guy. I have caught feelings

555
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 1: and I could see us being in a relationship. I

556
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: don't want to get hurt. I just want to Okay,

557
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,680
Speaker 1: you feel because that's where I'm at. See what he says.

558
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: He might say no, no, no, I'm good, or he

559
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 1: might say I feel the same way. Now if he says, like, no,

560
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 1: I don't relationship, but like we can keep doing what

561
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: we're doing, having fun. Fuck this guy off off, don't no, yeah,

562
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 1: don't fuck him yeah, fuck him off? Yeah?

563
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, don't have sex with him anymore.

564
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 1: Keep it simple, stupid?

565
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,200
Speaker 2: It works in this context.

566
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:54,120
Speaker 1: That's like, is that an Australian saying keep it simple stupid?

567
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 2: Maybe?

568
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 1: Have you had that one once?

569
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 2: Are you using it right?

570
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: I don't know. Is this saying I'm trying to say, like,

571
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:03,679
Speaker 1: keep it simple stupid?

572
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:05,120
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's right.

573
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound right.

574
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:10,399
Speaker 2: Keep it simple, stupid, keep it stupid. Simple.

575
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 1: Now you're gas like me? Now I think I can

576
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: get gas.

577
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 2: Keep it simple stupid.

578
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 1: It didn't sound when it came out. I've heard it before.

579
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 1: Give it another guy if it works somewhere else ready,

580
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 1: So pretty easy, Just do it like this, pretty black

581
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:33,120
Speaker 1: and white. Keep it simple, stupid. It's not you don't

582
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: think that alright, Okay, so it's not that confusing, Like

583
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,360
Speaker 1: what you're going to do is A or B. It's

584
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,640
Speaker 1: pretty black and white. Keep it simple, stupid.

585
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:43,720
Speaker 2: That was better.

586
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:48,159
Speaker 1: That's gone. I think what I was doing is like

587
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 1: I was saying, like, keep it simple stupid, as in,

588
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: like it's a question, but I need to say stupid

589
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 1: in the way of like I'm calling the batty stupid.

590
00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 2: Sorry, not not that, but yeah, fuck, it'd be like

591
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 2: it's a different world. Like as an Australian, to me,

592
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 2: a frat house seems like the most vulgar, disgusting place

593
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 2: in the world.

594
00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's a frat house like? Because I just think

595
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 1: of the movie Bad Neighbors.

596
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's honestly what I think about. And like I

597
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 2: wouldn't I don't know as a man, I suppose because

598
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 2: I haven't grown up in that environment, I wouldn't want

599
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 2: to be part of one.

600
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've always thought it to be gross. Men proud

601
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: to be in a frat.

602
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 2: My frat would be called that keep it clean.

603
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 1: Have you watched the show Blue Mountain State.

604
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 2: No, I've heard about it.

605
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,959
Speaker 1: The Holy fuck Bro I watched that. I was too

606
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 1: young when I watched it, but I also that's what

607
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 1: I think a frat house is.

608
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's like initiations and shit, and they do

609
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 2: always discuss ez yeah yeah yeah. Why does anyone want

610
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 2: to be part of that?

611
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: Yeah? Like are men proud to be in a friend

612
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: and be like, I'm Beta Alpha Kappa.

613
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 2: It's like an American thing. But there's also Devil's Advocate.

614
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 2: There's girls ones too.

615
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: I just think it's embarras. I'm sorry. I think it's

616
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: embarrassing for both parts or to be like, oh yeah,

617
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: come drawing Beta alpha whatever, and I'm like thinking, what

618
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 1: are you talking with?

619
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,479
Speaker 2: The cult? It's because we haven't grown up with it, though,

620
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 2: I bet you in America it's like the best thing ever.

621
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 1: It must be.

622
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: It must be like the equivalent of what do we

623
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 2: have in Australia.

624
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 1: We don't have it.

625
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 2: What do we have what's like a cult in Australia. Nothing,

626
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 2: nothing's an equivalent.

627
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: We don't have it. Go one on nippers. We actually don't

628
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 1: have an equivalent.

629
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 2: We don't do We don't know very one. Downside to Australia,

630
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 2: we're not very cultural, even though that's not a culture,

631
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying trying to say.

632
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 1: There yeah, I think what I mean. So, like Australia

633
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 1: is a very multicultural country, but Australians, yeah, the Caucasian

634
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 1: ones at least or whatever you know to be Caucasian,

635
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: just like if you grew up born and raised in Australia.

636
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 1: We don't have anything that's like, oh, that's so Australia

637
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 1: a part of the in that category, if that makes

638
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: any sense, Like.

639
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: Like vegimi We've got vegimie.

640
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: We've got meat pies, that's kind of our thing. We've

641
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 1: got like the sun, we've got sharks, we've got surfing.

642
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: All of those things are not really like anything that

643
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: could be compared to a frat.

644
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, or like in England they love soccer, Like, we

645
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 2: don't have anything like that. They say the NRL, but

646
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 2: it's not the equivalent. It's like tomatoes tomatoes.

647
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, like people really like AFL. Like it's not the same.

648
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 2: It's not the same at all. Yeah, we don't have anything.

649
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 2: So yeah, keep having sex to this one title Future

650
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 2: and the Bedroom. My boyfriend and I have been together

651
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 2: for three years, and every time I mention future together,

652
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 2: he laughs it off and tells me that I'll plan

653
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 2: a future with another man When I confront him about it,

654
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 2: he tells me he feels vulnerable talking about marriage or

655
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 2: meeting his parents in brackets, which I still haven't. He

656
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 2: says humor is his way of dealing with his sense

657
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 2: of vulnerability, but still he doesn't answer my questions about

658
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 2: planning a life together. On top of that, he usually

659
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 2: complains that we're not intimate enough and that my libido

660
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 2: is too low compared to his. In brackets, ideally, he

661
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 2: would be fine with having sex every single day. I

662
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 2: have explained to him how a woman's cycle works. I

663
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 2: have talked to my therapist about this. I have made

664
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 2: it an effort to compromise and show more affection, as

665
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 2: I know his love language is physical touch, but it

666
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 2: still isn't enough, and he usually tells me that it

667
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 2: feels like we're friends or roommates, which is painful to hear.

668
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 2: When I tell him I need to that's fucking him.

669
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 2: We're friends and roommates. We won't plan a future. What

670
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 2: a fucking hypocrite. When I tell him I need to

671
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 2: plan moments to connect so it leads to intimacy, he's

672
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 2: quick to refuse, telling me he doesn't want to keep

673
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 2: an intimate schedule, and then he proceeds to ask me

674
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 2: what we will do if we one day have children

675
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 2: in bracket. Sorry, that's a lot I've unpacked with you guys.

676
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for the podcast. I love you

677
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 2: guys so much. You always bring so much joy to

678
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 2: my day. Stay bad, Oh, thank.

679
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: You, good, thank you. I have absolutely like there's no

680
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: there's no saving this relationship.

681
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 2: No, that's actually really mean what he's done.

682
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's no saving this relationship. I'm sorry that you're

683
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: this many years deep into it. But year Dan, you're like, oh,

684
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: what do you want? Do you want to have a

685
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: future of kids? Like where do you want to live? By?

686
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 1: A house together?

687
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 2: And he's like, aha, a planner with another man?

688
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 1: When are we going to fuck?

689
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 2: And then you're like trying to plan when the fuck

690
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 2: He's like, oh, you're a roommate. What's he doing? He's

691
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 2: just taking you around this maze.

692
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 1: Like So the issues that are here are that he

693
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 1: just avoids any sort of like emotional conversation, anything to

694
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 1: do with plan in the future, anything to do with like, yeah,

695
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: just you know, meeting his parents, Like that's that to

696
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 1: him is like a scary thing. That's a big trigger

697
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: of his or whatever, like that's an that's a vulnerability

698
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 1: of his Like, first of all, shut up, like grow

699
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 1: the fuck up. Yeah, okay. Secondly he says those things right,

700
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: and then he says, I'm worried that you, like libidos

701
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 1: are too different, like we don't have sex enough. So

702
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: then you say, oh, well, like planning for the future

703
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: and having these emotional conversations are like a turn on

704
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 1: for me, Like that's what would get my libido probably

705
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: up a bit, and that's kind of like a form

706
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 1: that would like lead into some potential four play or whatever.

707
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: And then he's like nah na na na, Like we

708
00:33:53,440 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: can't be planning sex. So like he's telling you that

709
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 1: he wants more sex, you've told him how that can happen,

710
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 1: and he has said that's not happening.

711
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, like a hypocritical I like everything how bad he's doing,

712
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 4: making an effort, trying new things, listening to her partner,

713
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 4: trying to grow together, and then this guy's just stuck

714
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 4: on his litt high horse like fuck you, this is

715
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:24,839
Speaker 4: how I deal with it.

716
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 2: Whle and I have sex, but in my way, my

717
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:27,720
Speaker 2: way of the highway.

718
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 1: Okay. Question if you had a daughter would you want

719
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 1: him to want her a data man like this? No.

720
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 1: So basically I feel as though what you should look

721
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 1: at when you're looking for someone to be with and

722
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: potentially have a future with and Mary is would I

723
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 1: want my daughter to like would I want to tell

724
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 1: my daughter what her father was like? Or would I

725
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:54,759
Speaker 1: want my daughter to marry someone like this? Yeah? I

726
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of.

727
00:34:55,560 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 2: Men need a reality jack left hook in the jaw,

728
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 2: That's what they need, because this guy's like treating in

729
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 2: this person. I'm sorry, not very well. And then you're

730
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,399
Speaker 2: doing everything right as a partner, because every relationship has

731
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 2: ebbs and flows, highs and lows. But he is not

732
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 2: pulling his weight. Yeah, break up with him. Yeah, it's

733
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 2: very simple. Definitely he wants to have sex. No more

734
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:27,879
Speaker 2: sex at all, fullstop. We just said on fucking yeah,

735
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,399
Speaker 2: I'm not having sex with you. You should like his name's

736
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 2: like chat or something.

737
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I fuck there. That one pissed me

738
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,320
Speaker 1: off for some reason. All right, Hey, Drake can not

739
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: Hey love the podcast? Looking for some help A ready? Okay,

740
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 1: She says, I totally agree with you guys about the

741
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 1: fact that boys and girls can't be best friends I've

742
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 1: tried it twice before, and both boys ended up falling

743
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 1: in love with me and couldn't manage to be just

744
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 1: friends anymore. Right, she says, she totally agrees with us.

745
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 1: Right now, listen to the rest. Fast forward a few

746
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 1: I now find myself with another male best friend. We

747
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 1: hung out often, playing games and getting food together and such,

748
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 1: went traveling, and even went on a month long road

749
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: trip camping out of my small sedan together and didn't

750
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,759
Speaker 1: kill each other. We have always had amazing communication with

751
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 1: each other and have even had extensive chats about why

752
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 1: we were hesitant to hesitant committing to each other. My

753
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 1: drawbacks were his lifestyle a bit of a nomad versus

754
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: her being a homebody, and his maturity levels.

755
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 2: He just wasn't.

756
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 1: Quite the adult that I needed, while his seemed to

757
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 1: be much more superficial like that, I'm not obsessed with

758
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 1: snowboarding like he is, and I'm not as attractive as

759
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 1: he had hoped his partner would be, so we were

760
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 1: happy to maintain the friendship despite this. After two years

761
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 1: of being best friends with some limited benefits, I've found

762
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,719
Speaker 1: that it was me that kind of wanted more at

763
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 1: this I could see that at this point, I had

764
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 1: just started back at UNI after working for almost ten years.

765
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: I didn't have time to date anyone else, and his

766
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 1: visa was up and had to leave the country, so

767
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 1: I thought it would just go back to feeling like friends.

768
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: Another year goes by, We're facetiming almost every day for hours,

769
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 1: and he wanted me so he wants me to go

770
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: visit Europe since he's come to visit here so many

771
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 1: times before. The timing lined up, so I spent a

772
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,720
Speaker 1: month traveling Europe with him, and it just felt different

773
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 1: than it had before. He started holding my hand in public,

774
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 1: being a lot more caring, calling me beautiful, bringing me

775
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 1: breakfast in bed, and overall and so and overall so

776
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 1: much more cuddly, and then in brackets and girl, the

777
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 1: sex with this, I've had said the perfect. When I

778
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 1: got back to Canada, we both felt off and had

779
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,720
Speaker 1: to have a chat. It ended up that we both

780
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,360
Speaker 1: missed each other so much that being a part just

781
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: started to feel wrong. We decided that since our relationship

782
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 1: foundation is already so good, we communicate better than anyone else,

783
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 1: we know, our conflict resolution is solid, We care for

784
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 1: each other with so damn much and have such a

785
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 1: deep understanding of each other that we decided we have

786
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 1: to give this relationship a real try. Since then, everything

787
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: has been great. We've touched on our previous conversations and

788
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: feel that we both have influenced each other to grow

789
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 1: into a better person, causing those previous hesitations to disappear.

790
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 1: He's still in Europe, but we've visited each other a

791
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 1: few times since and it feels like a strong and

792
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:39,839
Speaker 1: loving relationship. We are even planning on having him move

793
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,839
Speaker 1: back to Canada in May to be together and so

794
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 1: he can help support me with my last year at UNI.

795
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:45,800
Speaker 2: Where's the butt?

796
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 1: He is the dilemma because of our history. I feel

797
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,280
Speaker 1: filled with concerns. If he didn't think I was pretty

798
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: when we were just friends, does he really now? Will

799
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 1: he go back to thinking I'm not? Will he leave

800
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:59,400
Speaker 1: me for the first girl who fits his standards that

801
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,479
Speaker 1: he was looking for? Did I just manipulate him into

802
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 1: loving me by playing the long game? Honestly, this feels

803
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 1: like the most authentic and loving relationship I've ever been in,

804
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: and I'm pretty sure he's my human that I want

805
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 1: to spend forever with. I'm just terrified that since our

806
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 1: relationship was so unconventional, am I delulu ps, I'd have

807
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 1: to marry him to keep him in the country. Thanks

808
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,879
Speaker 1: so much, appreciate your keenness to help.

809
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:28,280
Speaker 2: Oh, this one's so easy. It's going to sound bad,

810
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 2: but it's the truth.

811
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:31,839
Speaker 1: This guy has played you and you fell in love

812
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 1: with him. Really. Yeah, what I'm saying.

813
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 2: Heavy, He's told you that you're not my type, and

814
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 2: your immediate reaction, which is everyone's immediate reaction, is I'm

815
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,319
Speaker 2: going to prove that I'm a fucking baddie. And you

816
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 2: did exactly that.

817
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 1: Because you are.

818
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 2: And from the start he knew you were attractive and

819
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 2: you said you wanted to be friends, so he just

820
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,439
Speaker 2: said that so you would prove yourself. And this whole

821
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 2: time you were proving yourself that you were a baddy

822
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:01,880
Speaker 2: to him. But also it's not like, honestly, it's a

823
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:03,399
Speaker 2: little bit toxic to get in a relationship that start

824
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:04,719
Speaker 2: being friends for two years, but it's fine.

825
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 1: That's so chill. Yeah. I was going to say, like,

826
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 1: so I think that you said that you guys have

827
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:21,280
Speaker 1: like great communication skills, great resolution solving skills as a couple,

828
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 1: so to me, like all of your concerns should not like,

829
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be able, like when the thought of bringing

830
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,320
Speaker 1: it up to him, Yeah, you shouldn't hesitate.

831
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 2: I'll ask him the exact question you asked us, and

832
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 2: I bet you he'll tell you that, Oh, nah, I

833
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 2: didn't think you were hot.

834
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you could say, been loving this relationship. It's great.

835
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,760
Speaker 1: I have a few things that have been on my mind,

836
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 1: you know, back a couple of years ago, when you said,

837
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 1: like when I said the reason why I didn't want

838
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:51,720
Speaker 1: to like settle down with you and you said your reason,

839
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 1: your reason being that I'm not pretty enough and like

840
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 1: not who you think you'd end up with, has just

841
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 1: like been really on my mind lately. Just tell him that, yeah,

842
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,320
Speaker 1: and like just see what he says.

843
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 2: I guarantee you he will say I only said that

844
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 2: because you said you want to be friends and it

845
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 2: made you want to prove yourself. I'll be his response.

846
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 2: He's like, no, I've always thought you were hot. He

847
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 2: probably will say that, Yeah, I just didn't want to leave. No,

848
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 2: because also because you said you guys were friends from

849
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:20,359
Speaker 2: the start, he liked you the whole time.

850
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, why else would you ask you to come to Europe?

851
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's liked you the whole time, and like it

852
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 2: sounds like harsh plays not the right word. He just

853
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 2: word hold itself very very well.

854
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 1: Okay, he may have done it on purpose or he

855
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 1: may have done it accidentally. But so at the end

856
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 1: there she's like, did I did I play the long

857
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 1: game and manipulate him into loving me? I think he

858
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 1: manipulated you into loving him by playing the long game

859
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:46,439
Speaker 1: his way.

860
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 2: I agree.

861
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 1: I think it's actually the opposite.

862
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:50,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you actually thought you were friends and yeah,

863
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 3: never thought you were a friend.

864
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's on the money. So I guess,

865
00:41:54,920 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 1: like in all honesty, semi best case scenario, you know

866
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like.

867
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, like words manipulate, Yeah, but like they're not

868
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 2: bad things, like in the way that's happened, Like look,

869
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 2: it's not great, it's it's never great to do with

870
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 2: one of those things.

871
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 1: But like, I just think that it's a completely flipped script,

872
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 1: Like he played this situation so well to his advantage

873
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:21,720
Speaker 1: and has you thinking you manipulated him when he manipulated you.

874
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 1: Ship We fucking men, bro. Yeah with deep fucking man

875
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 1: bro debunk that guy. He's probably gonna listen to this

876
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: and be like, oh ship, yeah, you can send this

877
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 1: to him.

878
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 2: Fucking oh my go alright, last one, it's long, come on,

879
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 2: let's come on brand slow and steady.

880
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 1: Title.

881
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 2: My soulmate lives one street away. He doesn't just kidding naked?

882
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 2: But is he really mine?

883
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 1: Hi?

884
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 2: Boys love the pod? Also, so sorry, this might be

885
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 2: a long one. I need help because I feel like

886
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 2: I'm living in a rom com that suddenly turn into

887
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 2: a psychological thriller. Hah. So for context, I'm twenty and

888
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 2: the man in question is twenty six, and honestly, how

889
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 2: is a twenty six year old man still so single?

890
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 2: That probably should have been one of my first questions,

891
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 2: or maybe I thought it was because he was still

892
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 2: waiting for me. We love a delulu baddie, So him

893
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 2: and I have been friendly four years, not just casual

894
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 2: family friends vibe. We generally know each other so well

895
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 2: inside jokes, deep chats, understanding each other's personality, strengths, flaws,

896
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 2: all of it. Our families are super connected. Everyone knows everyone,

897
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 2: and it makes it even more intense. He literally lives

898
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 2: one street away from me in Brackets, which feels suspiciously

899
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,879
Speaker 2: like fate because I live forty five minutes out of

900
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 2: the main city in my area.

901
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:55,600
Speaker 1: Most other guys won't even make the drive. Mental drive

902
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 1: forty five minutes for it, right, girl?

903
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,800
Speaker 2: Wait, that sounds me to her like they just yeah, yeah,

904
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, yeah, he's met the nice guy yet,

905
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,240
Speaker 2: That's what I meant. When we finally went out properly.

906
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 2: It happened quickly. We only went on three dates, but

907
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 2: it felt like we've been together for years. It was effortless, comfortable, natural,

908
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 2: no awkwardness, no games, just easy. He was future talking,

909
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 2: saying he could see himself marrying me, not in a

910
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:24,720
Speaker 2: joking way, in a serious way, and honestly, I believe

911
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 2: he's my soulmate. We are so alike, we are so alike,

912
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 2: so well suited, and even our families and friends were

913
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 2: low key joking about planning our wedding, and then completely

914
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 2: out of nowhere, he cut it off. He said in quote,

915
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 2: not ready for this yet and needs to work on himself.

916
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: Oh ah, stab in the heart.

917
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 2: You think that's your soul made fuck, But here's what's

918
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:55,319
Speaker 2: messing with my head. We've actually talked before about him

919
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 2: wanting to grow and be the man I deserve, So

920
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 2: now I'm spiraling, wondering is he generally working on himself

921
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 2: for me? Or is it just something guys say when

922
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:07,520
Speaker 2: they're backing out? Is he stepping up or stepping away?

923
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:10,840
Speaker 1: I don't give him this benefit.

924
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 2: What makes it even worse is that this is so

925
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 2: out of character for him. Come on, come on, We've

926
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 2: always communicated well, He's not the type to shut down,

927
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 2: But now whenever I bring up the topic of us,

928
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:28,280
Speaker 2: he avoids it and closes it off completely. And his sister,

929
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 2: who is my close friend, refuses to talk about it.

930
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,919
Speaker 2: She swears nothing is wrong between us, but she won't

931
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 2: go near the topic, which makes me feel like I'm

932
00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 2: the only one not in on something. So now I'm

933
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 2: living one foot away from a man who told me

934
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 2: he could marry me after three dates that felt like

935
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 2: three years, and I don't know what to believe. Did

936
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:51,239
Speaker 2: he panic because it got real? Is he generally trying

937
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:53,439
Speaker 2: to grow up for me? Did he realize the age

938
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,359
Speaker 2: gap feels too different now? Or did he just love

939
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,360
Speaker 2: the idea of me more than the reality. Do I

940
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,920
Speaker 2: respect that I need to work on myself line and

941
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 2: fully move on? Do I push for clarity even though

942
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 2: he's avoiding it, or do I accept that if a

943
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 2: managed sorr a value, he doesn't change his mind.

944
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:10,280
Speaker 1: Here's what you are you're not doing?

945
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 2: Is this the right person, wrong time? Or am I

946
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 2: romanticizing something that was only ever meant to be? In

947
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 2: last three dates? Please right now, I'm Janet sorry because

948
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 2: right now I generally feel like I have met my soulmate.

949
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 2: Please don't put this in a Patreon episode. I'm a

950
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 2: broke UNI student who can't afford it, but I need

951
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 2: the advice before Jake says what he's about to say.

952
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:40,440
Speaker 2: It's a great segue too. Patreon guys, we will answer

953
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 2: this to Lemma on Pareon.

954
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 1: If you do want to go over to Patreon. Did

955
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:57,200
Speaker 1: that it? It is eight ninety nine per month. Aud's

956
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: cheap at all the occurrencies because our dollar sucks. And yeah,

957
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 1: you get everything over there, add free plus next episod

958
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:05,320
Speaker 1: on Thursday. But here's what I want to say. She

959
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 1: asked a question, what do I believe in? Then she

960
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: asked about one hundred questions. Right, here's what you believe?

961
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 1: His actions? Yeah, all right, don't believe anything, but his actions.

962
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:21,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, they are what speak louder than words. Might I

963
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 2: add Yeah, they do speak loud in words, and like

964
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:26,359
Speaker 2: it's hard for you too, because you went on three

965
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 2: amazing dates for you and he's told you what you

966
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 2: want to hear, and then he's backed out, and he's

967
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 2: backed out for a reason you'll never know it. And

968
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 2: you're looking for closure, which you don't need. And it's

969
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:40,879
Speaker 2: very suspicious that the sister's not saying anything. Obviously he's

970
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:44,120
Speaker 2: told her something that I would put two and two together,

971
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:47,120
Speaker 2: Like he might seem good on paper, but something's gone

972
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 2: on there. Yeah, I agree, And yeah, it's a pretty

973
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 2: simple one. Like it's sad because he feel so perfect,

974
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 2: but also you're putting him on a pedestal in your head.

975
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 2: I can see that from the way you've written it. Yeah,

976
00:47:57,719 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 2: he's done a few things wrong and you haven't seen

977
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:03,280
Speaker 2: it at all. Yeah, And then also like I guess,

978
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 2: I guess it was just for.

979
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,279
Speaker 1: The story that he lives one straight away, which is

980
00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 1: kind of like cool, but who cares? He's a fun Yeah,

981
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do find your song mat one

982
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 1: straight away? No, it's a proximity thing. Yeah, and who

983
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,799
Speaker 1: cares where you eat? Your families are friends?

984
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, like honestly, and you're probably gonna see him,

985
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 2: and I reckon what will happen here? I can predict

986
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 2: the future? All right? You move on, you start seeing

987
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 2: a new man, he will see you, We've said, a

988
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,600
Speaker 2: new man, and he will hit you up and want

989
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 2: you back because he will see what he lost. And

990
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 2: you go, haha, you missed your chance, motherfucker. I close

991
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 2: that door and I'll never look at it again. Fuck you.

992
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 1: I'm not having sex with you anymore. Did you ever

993
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 1: have sex with him? I don't think so. That's what

994
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:47,919
Speaker 1: it is. Micro penis. He has a micro It's easy.

995
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,200
Speaker 1: Just put a micro penis when we when you know

996
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 1: what you're looking for, right, and I can sense one right? Well,

997
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: what does a micro penis sensor look like? Like? Look

998
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 1: a big machine like nah? Actually beep beep beep, beep beep.

999
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: But is to reiter rate.

1000
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:15,319
Speaker 2: If you have a dilemma about sex and men, men

1001
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 2: submit them could be in the same thing or different.

1002
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 2: In the description, there will be a little toggled to

1003
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 2: pick which one for a title, and they will be

1004
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:25,360
Speaker 2: in April.

1005
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 1: So we love your stay bad