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Speaker 1: Everyone, it's Carlie Taylor here for this week's mo Joe Monday.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode was inspired by conversation I had with my

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Speaker 1: amazing aunt, who's now in her seventies. And I hope

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Speaker 1: she doesn't mind. I'm sure she doesn't mind me saying that.

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Speaker 1: We were chatting the other day and she said something

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Speaker 1: that really kind of stuck with me, and it's something

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Speaker 1: that all of us can relate to, and that is

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Speaker 1: around our negative self talk. So she told me that

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Speaker 1: she had realized that what she tells herself about herself,

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Speaker 1: all the criticism, the doubts, the harsh in a commentary,

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Speaker 1: isn't actually what other people think of her. So she'd

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Speaker 1: been so caught up in this self critical story that

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Speaker 1: she'd never really considered that others might not see her

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Speaker 1: that way, that maybe they see her in a completely

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Speaker 1: different light. And it came after a conversation that she

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Speaker 1: had with her son, my cousin of course, who told

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Speaker 1: her all the things that he's proud of, so that

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Speaker 1: they were small and some of them not so small,

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Speaker 1: but all very meaningful moments that really mattered to him.

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Speaker 1: And then she'd spoken with her older sister about that

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Speaker 1: and then she told her all these amazing things that

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Speaker 1: she thought about her, and then that made her stop

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Speaker 1: and think. So for years she'd been focusing on one

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Speaker 1: narrow part of her story, the flaws, the regrets, the

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Speaker 1: self judgment, the victimhood, without noticing the much bigger picture.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's something all of us do. We

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Speaker 1: see ourselves through a very narrow lens, zoomed in on

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Speaker 1: our flaws, the mistakes we've made, the parts that we

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Speaker 1: wish weld dif But every now and then something shifts,

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Speaker 1: like a conversation, a bit of kindness, a reminder from

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Speaker 1: somebody who can see us clearly, who sees us from

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Speaker 1: the outside, and it's like switching that lens to panoramic.

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Speaker 1: Suddenly we can see the whole picture, the challenges and

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Speaker 1: the strengths, the moments that we have fallen and the

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Speaker 1: ones that we've quietly shone. And I heard someone say

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Speaker 1: the other day that our self talk it's like a

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Speaker 1: series of short stories. So it's not like a book

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Speaker 1: with a beginning and an end. It's short stories, and

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Speaker 1: we tend to write mostly about the endings. So it's

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Speaker 1: the time our partner cheated on us, or it's the

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Speaker 1: time our mother said that hurtful thing to us, or

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Speaker 1: the time we got sacked, or the time we got sick.

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Speaker 1: But within those stories there were other moments too, the

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Speaker 1: times when that relationship was beautiful, when we first got

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Speaker 1: that job and gave it everything that we had, or

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Speaker 1: when we fought to get well or showed up strength

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Speaker 1: that we didn't even know that we had. We forget

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Speaker 1: that our stories aren't single scenes, their chapters full of complexity, growth,

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Speaker 1: and meaning. And when we remember that, our perspective softens.

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Speaker 1: We start to think not just about what went wrong

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Speaker 1: in our lives, but what was actually right alongside it.

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Speaker 1: And this, to me, is where positive thinking has its place.

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Speaker 1: It's not about pretending the negative doesn't exist, but it's

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Speaker 1: about widening our perspectives so we can also see the

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Speaker 1: ways in which we're shone and grown and made a difference.

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Speaker 1: Because when we do that, we can shift our attention

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Speaker 1: away from the automatic, unhelpful self talk and focus more

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Speaker 1: on the parts of our lives that lift us up,

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Speaker 1: ground us, that remind us who we are beyond all

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Speaker 1: the noise of our inner critic. So here's my invitation

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Speaker 1: to you this week, inspired by my beautiful aunt, take

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Speaker 1: a moment to ask someone close to you what they

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Speaker 1: admire about you, or reflect on how you've made a

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Speaker 1: difference in someone else's life. So there's no time for

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Speaker 1: humility here. And when the inner critic pipes up with

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Speaker 1: yeah butt, which it probably will, just notice that and

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Speaker 1: you've got to almost expect it. But thank that voice

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Speaker 1: for trying to keep you small, for keeping your narrow

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Speaker 1: focus narrow, and then gently shift your attention back to

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Speaker 1: the positive instead. So let that sit alongside those stories

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Speaker 1: in your head. And then while you're at it, tell

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Speaker 1: someone else what you admire about them, because you never

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Speaker 1: know what window or lens that might open up for

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Speaker 1: them too. So have a great week everyone. I hope

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Speaker 1: that's been helpful and I we'll catch you next week.

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Speaker 1: So yah,