Speaker 1: I've definitely dated my fair share of douchebags. My time.
Speaker 2: Let's get tingling my balls.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm spiraling. Oh my God, tell us.
Speaker 2: Everything flame emojis left, right, and center.
Speaker 1: Matt loves a bit of God and.
Speaker 2: I need to affect you back. I'm really need you
Speaker 2: with that.
Speaker 1: I know I'm jealous. I'm the most jealous person ever.
Speaker 2: Relationships like a fart. If you have to force it,
Speaker 2: it's probably shit.
Speaker 1: Hisity dot com for you. I'll be a bloody single
Speaker 1: and alone with ten cats for the rest of my life.
Speaker 3: Lie, Lie, Lie.
Speaker 1: On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are
Speaker 1: diving headfirst into all things cheating.
Speaker 2: You guys will find out which one of us is
Speaker 2: a cheater, and we tell a heartbreaking story of who's
Speaker 2: been cheated on.
Speaker 1: Stay tuned, it's a goody. Where's Your Head At is
Speaker 1: a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV,
Speaker 1: trending shows, and everything in between. This is your new
Speaker 1: go to destination, laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice.
Speaker 2: And much more. Hello Matt, Hello Anna, how are you today?
Speaker 1: I'm doing good? How are you going?
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty rattled. Your rattled, Hi,
Speaker 2: I'll be honest with you. I had a dream last night.
Speaker 3: That oh god, I'm worried.
Speaker 2: Well it was featuring you.
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, tell us more.
Speaker 2: Well, it wasn't like that sort of dream.
Speaker 1: It was like, just in case anyone was wondering, I
Speaker 1: was not expecting this.
Speaker 2: All right, So I'll tell you what happened. We actually
Speaker 2: went on a date night. So we went to I
Speaker 2: think it was it looks like in my dream saying
Speaker 2: killed a Sea Bass. You know that restaurant like on
Speaker 2: the beach y. You were dressed in like a like
Speaker 2: a lovely black cocktail dress. I had a nice tight
Speaker 2: shit and I remember like we met there and then
Speaker 2: like we walked in and we had dinner.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a romantic dinner.
Speaker 2: It was a romantic dinner.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I woke up and I was like sweating, and
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 3: Like, you woke up sweating.
Speaker 2: I was like, well that was weird.
Speaker 1: But okay, million dollar question. Did we kiss in.
Speaker 2: The dream after the date?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Wow, end of the date. Well, I'm a gentleman, so
Speaker 2: I never kiss. And tell now, why are you having
Speaker 2: dreams about Well, I've thought about it on the drive here,
Speaker 2: and I was like, you know what, it's probably because
Speaker 2: you called me at eleven thirty at night and we're
Speaker 2: just telling me all your guy problems. And then I
Speaker 2: was like falling asleep, and I fell straight asleep, and
Speaker 2: it must seem fresh on my mind. I'm that guy problem.
Speaker 1: The thing is is that I actually don't have guy
Speaker 1: problems at the moment.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it wasn't problem. I throw problems around your
Speaker 2: guy stories. What's happening in your love life?
Speaker 1: I guess giving you the fall on line.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're giving me the update. Well do you want
Speaker 2: to give everyone else the update?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So I'm seeing a guy at the moment, it's
Speaker 1: going really well, like almost to the point where it's
Speaker 1: going too well. We just get along like a house
Speaker 1: on fire. We have good chat.
Speaker 2: Everything's are easy.
Speaker 1: Really good sexual chem ISTU. I think I'm simping over
Speaker 1: him a little bit.
Speaker 2: You're simping, are you?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Do you want to explain what simping means for
Speaker 1: those of you listening who don't know what it means?
Speaker 2: Okay, So simping means I think guilty of this as well.
Speaker 2: You're a simp when you infatuate over someone, allowing them
Speaker 2: to take over your mind. It cause you to do
Speaker 2: things for them you wouldn't normally do.
Speaker 1: Sound sounds a bit intense.
Speaker 2: So what are you doing that you naturally wouldn't do
Speaker 2: or normally wouldn't do?
Speaker 1: I mean, I think I just want to see him
Speaker 1: all the time, and he wants to see me all
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 3: So it's working out really well.
Speaker 2: So he's simping over you. I think he's.
Speaker 1: Simping over me as much as I'm simping over him.
Speaker 1: Couples simps, But yeah, we are a couple of simps.
Speaker 1: But the problem is is that as we kind of
Speaker 1: touched on an episode one, if you haven't listened to that,
Speaker 1: go listen to it. So I guess we're kind of
Speaker 1: in a situationship at the moment and we haven't really
Speaker 1: defined anything. So I really like him. I think he
Speaker 1: really likes me. I'm pretty sure he really likes me,
Speaker 1: Like all of the signs are there, but we're not exclusive,
Speaker 1: we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. So then those little thoughts
Speaker 1: start to creep into my head, like is he seeing
Speaker 1: anyone else? Is he sleeping with anyone else? You know?
Speaker 3: And so we'll.
Speaker 2: Probably not when he's spending six nights.
Speaker 1: One other night when you're not with him. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so I obviously called Matt last night late at night,
Speaker 1: having a bit of the meltdown, being like, I don't
Speaker 1: know what should I bring up the conversation. I don't
Speaker 1: know what's happening, and yeah, that's.
Speaker 3: Kind of where I'm at.
Speaker 1: So we haven't had the chat, but I'm at a
Speaker 1: point where I do want to have the chat because
Speaker 1: I'm not hooking up with anyone else and I'm hoping
Speaker 1: that he's kind of on the same page.
Speaker 2: So you're telling me you're gonna have the chat between
Speaker 2: this episode and the next episode.
Speaker 1: Should I commit to that?
Speaker 2: Well, we might be starting next week's episode with you
Speaker 2: saying or it went horribly wrong.
Speaker 1: I was thinking so positive. Matt just crushed me back
Speaker 1: down to reality.
Speaker 2: Then no, good luck. I hope it goes well, and
Speaker 2: it will. I've seen you guys together.
Speaker 1: Yeah you like it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's a very funny man, not as funny
Speaker 2: as me.
Speaker 1: Anyway, enough about me. Tell me about the girl that
Speaker 1: you've been seeing at the moment.
Speaker 2: So like, this is the girl that we were talking
Speaker 2: about we went on the double day with on the
Speaker 2: last episode. We've been hanging out a fair bit. She
Speaker 2: came around and met all my roomies.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's a big step.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean what was their thoughts. They liked her,
Speaker 2: they thought she was funny, but there was just a
Speaker 2: couple of things that I told them that they were
Speaker 2: a bit iffy on. So there was two things in particular.
Speaker 1: Okay, share with the group.
Speaker 2: So the first one was she we obviously had a
Speaker 2: couple of drinks at mine, and she crashed at mine,
Speaker 2: and the next morning we woke up, you know, cuddling
Speaker 2: all that sort of stuff, and then she said that
Speaker 2: she just abruptly like I'm going to leave. And I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, all right. I thought we could get
Speaker 2: some breakfast, you know, watch a movie, cudd all the
Speaker 2: stuff I like to do.
Speaker 1: That's like a very need. I thought we've been locked
Speaker 1: in for the day.
Speaker 2: I was like, I've cleared my calendar for you, and
Speaker 2: she goes, I want to go. It's like, yeah, I
Speaker 2: want to go find myself. I'm going to go take
Speaker 2: my shoes off and get grounded in a park and
Speaker 2: go for a swim in the in the bay.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I mean, we love a me day.
Speaker 2: Fine, I've got nothing against a me day. Go to
Speaker 2: your meet day, and.
Speaker 1: That just prefers a wee day.
Speaker 2: So I go, okay, all right, see you. Then so
Speaker 2: she leaves. I chat to my mates, order some mob eats,
Speaker 2: have a little bit of a nap, My food comes,
Speaker 2: and I go, you know what, Sunday, hungover in bed.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do what I always do. I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: have a scroll of the dating apps, you know, just
Speaker 2: have a swipe. Nothing like something to do past time.
Speaker 2: I've checked my Instagram. Nothing's being updated on there. So
Speaker 2: I was like, so just swiping through and believe it
Speaker 2: or not, the second person that comes up on the
Speaker 2: dating app and it literally says just joined. Oh no,
Speaker 2: was her? So I was like, well look, I was like, okay.
Speaker 1: It's not great. But now that I'm thinking about it,
Speaker 1: you rolls on the dating app. So you both departed.
Speaker 1: He went separate ways, and then you both went straight
Speaker 1: to the dating app. So you're both keeping your options open.
Speaker 2: Yeah we are. So I'm not mad about going on
Speaker 2: the dating app. It's more like you said, you're going
Speaker 2: to find yourself, get rounded. I didn't know that was
Speaker 2: swiping for boys on your phone. Swipe and right, I
Speaker 2: was on the dating app. She's on the dating app,
Speaker 2: so I guess I can't be mad. I'm not mad.
Speaker 2: It was just like ooh, I was like busy girl.
Speaker 1: Mainly because you wanted to hang out with her. I
Speaker 1: want to and maybe she didn't want to hang out
Speaker 1: with you. I'm sorry to break it to you. What's
Speaker 1: the second red flag that the rooms are a bit
Speaker 1: iffy about?
Speaker 2: All right? I just want to start by saying, you
Speaker 2: can't make this up. This one. This is one hundred
Speaker 2: percent of the truth.
Speaker 1: I was here on this night, and let me tell
Speaker 1: you, you actually can't make this shit up. This is wild.
Speaker 1: This is the reason why we started a podcast. This
Speaker 1: stuff actually happens to us.
Speaker 2: This is word for word what happens. So you, myself
Speaker 2: and our producer a but went out for some drinks.
Speaker 2: So we're having some drinks, we're having dinner. The girl
Speaker 2: I'm seeing was out, you're the guy you're seeing. Came
Speaker 2: to our drinks and I invited her to and then
Speaker 2: she said, I'm at the Botanical, which is a club
Speaker 2: in Melbourne, and she's like a bar and she was
Speaker 2: like come now. She pretty much summoned me, didn't.
Speaker 1: She she summoned you there, She's like now like.
Speaker 2: Just in caps, like in like I think it was
Speaker 2: like three different messages, and I was like, all right, guys,
Speaker 2: we're going, let's go pack up. So we all left.
Speaker 2: We hopped in different vers. You and your blow copped
Speaker 2: in one, me and you and your block, Me and
Speaker 2: Amber hopped in ours, and then we went to the Bot.
Speaker 2: So when we arrived, Amber and me were walking down.
Speaker 2: We're walking down the hill.
Speaker 1: En route to the bar.
Speaker 2: So from where we were to the bot takes what
Speaker 2: a maximum of five minutes, I think. Yeah. So we're
Speaker 2: walking down the hill and there's like people walking out,
Speaker 2: walking in and then this this guy and this girl
Speaker 2: are holding hands walking towards Amber and myself and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh yeah, And then they got closer and
Speaker 2: I'm like, she looks.
Speaker 1: Familiar And who wasn't Matt.
Speaker 2: It was a girl I'm seeing.
Speaker 1: So basically, what you're telling me is this girl you're
Speaker 1: seeing has summoned you.
Speaker 2: Summoned to see to.
Speaker 1: Go and see her immediately, and within ten minutes of
Speaker 1: you arriving at the bar that she told you to
Speaker 1: meet her at, she was leaving with someone else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was leaving with another another guy. So they're
Speaker 2: walking out, they're walking towards us, and then she puts
Speaker 2: his arm around her, and I'm like like, what's going on?
Speaker 2: What are you guys doing? And then he turns around
Speaker 2: and he's like, we're getting a drink, mate, what's the
Speaker 2: big deal. But I was like, I was like no, no, no,
Speaker 2: and I said her name, and I'm like, what are
Speaker 2: you doing? And then she's like she was looking at
Speaker 2: the ground. She looked up and she's like Matt, Matt,
Speaker 2: and she came and gave me a hug and she's like,
Speaker 2: thank god you're here. Like I was like, she said
Speaker 2: that was like inception, like about the timing, and I
Speaker 2: was like, inception, this isn't a dream inside of a dream.
Speaker 2: I'm like, this is reality. And you were leaving with
Speaker 2: that guy.
Speaker 1: With someone else.
Speaker 2: And then I like she goes, no, I wasn't leaving
Speaker 2: with him, and I was like I looked at like
Speaker 2: dead in the eyes, and I was like, you're bitterly
Speaker 2: kissing this guy leaving and you're not, and she goes,
Speaker 2: I wasn't leaving, and I was just like, we're.
Speaker 1: A little confused. I was like that gaslighting is that
Speaker 1: like gaslighting is when you know something is fat. So
Speaker 1: I know this guy is blue and someone's like this
Speaker 1: guy is green and you're like, no, it's blue, and they're.
Speaker 2: Like, no, that's green.
Speaker 1: You're like, I know you were leaving with that guy
Speaker 1: and she's like, no, it was them.
Speaker 3: We're planting each other's hair.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were genuinely leaving together. So yeah, that was
Speaker 2: the second red flag that my mates are a bit
Speaker 2: iffy on.
Speaker 1: So did that break your heart a little bit?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 2: It was a bit shit to see.
Speaker 1: Did it kind of feel like maybe you were being
Speaker 1: cheated on even although you weren't together and aren't together
Speaker 1: and we're not saying it was cheating, but it kind
Speaker 1: of maybe felt a little bit like that.
Speaker 2: Look, we there's no conversation of what we are. We're
Speaker 2: not having any of those chats. But in the situation
Speaker 2: or the situationship we were in, I expect the bare minimum.
Speaker 3: Literally, that's all I want them being.
Speaker 2: The bare minimum is if you invite me to a
Speaker 2: bar in the five minutes it takes my uber to
Speaker 2: get there, don't leave with another guy, but just hold
Speaker 2: on for me. I'm getting there. I told I told
Speaker 2: you on my way.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're not asking for a while.
Speaker 2: I'm not asking for much, am I. So we'll see
Speaker 2: where that go. I did feel quite, I did feel
Speaker 2: quite portrayed a hurt.
Speaker 1: Oh well, look on that note, let's get into our
Speaker 1: cheating episode.
Speaker 2: Okay, Anna, what do you think cheating is? Obviously there
Speaker 2: is different versions of it. What's your opinion of it?
Speaker 1: I mean, I think the standard that I would set
Speaker 1: for myself is if I'm doing something that I wouldn't
Speaker 1: do if my partner was right beside me, then it's
Speaker 1: probably cheating. Like would I send this guy a flame
Speaker 1: emoji if my boyfriend was sitting right beside me, Probably not,
Speaker 1: So I probably shouldn't do it if he's not there
Speaker 1: the old flame emoji. We know that you're well versed
Speaker 1: in the flame emogic.
Speaker 2: Well, I think obviously everyone has a different version of cheating.
Speaker 2: So in my opinion, for me, it would be something
Speaker 2: that I feel guilty about. But I would think if
Speaker 2: I felt guilty and I was like, hang on, like
Speaker 2: I wouldn't like that happening to me, Yeah, then that
Speaker 2: I figured that as a cheating Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's totally a valid point and I think
Speaker 1: in relationships trust is so important and breaking that trust
Speaker 1: in a relationship is so damaging. There are different types
Speaker 1: of cheating, right.
Speaker 2: So there's there's three main ones.
Speaker 3: There's three main ones.
Speaker 1: So there's physical cheating, which is pretty self explanatory, just
Speaker 1: breaking that touch barrier, whether it's kissing, having sex with
Speaker 1: or anything in between.
Speaker 3: Then there's emotional cheating.
Speaker 2: Which is when someone establishes a close relationship with someone
Speaker 2: else who isn't their partner, which means like they're talking
Speaker 2: to someone, they're meeting up with someone, they're just emotionally
Speaker 2: investing in someone that isn't their partner.
Speaker 1: Yeah, developing a bond or a longing for someone else.
Speaker 3: So it's a lot deeper.
Speaker 1: Someone would say a lot worse than maybe even physical cheating.
Speaker 3: What do you think is worse?
Speaker 2: It's a good question. It's tricky, it is. I would
Speaker 2: have to say physical.
Speaker 3: I'd say physical like I'd say.
Speaker 2: Physical, like you could fall into that situation. It could
Speaker 2: be with a like a work employee, it could be
Speaker 2: with someone that like you know that you're spending a
Speaker 2: lot of time with through default.
Speaker 1: It doesn't make it okay.
Speaker 2: It doesn't make it okay. No, but there's a bit
Speaker 2: more understanding physical cheating. You literally have to like it
Speaker 2: takes two to tango, like you have to be as well,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, yourself in that situation to
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, no type of cheating is good, but
Speaker 1: I think the physical cheating it's so hard. I think
Speaker 1: they're both just as bad as each other, if I'm
Speaker 1: being really honest.
Speaker 2: And then the third one is micro cheating.
Speaker 1: Explain to us what micro cheating is.
Speaker 2: It's the act of flirting with someone continuously or like
Speaker 2: little touching with someone inappropriate ways, and the small things
Speaker 2: that you're insinuating.
Speaker 1: Like maybe you're not in a relationship, yeah, that you're
Speaker 1: single and you like someone you like just micro cheating.
Speaker 1: So just like flirting with someone at a bar could
Speaker 1: be considered as micro cheating.
Speaker 2: Flame reacting to people's stories, that's micro cheating because it's
Speaker 2: not really talking to anyone, but it's like you're insinuating
Speaker 2: that you're single.
Speaker 1: So it could be like liking a girl's bikini photo
Speaker 1: on Instagram.
Speaker 3: Micro cheating.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And everyone has different levels and standards and boundaries
Speaker 1: that they set up in their own relations.
Speaker 2: And they should set them early as well, so the
Speaker 2: other partner knows what you expect from them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, exactly, And I think what's cheating in
Speaker 1: one relationship might be really accepted in another. So I
Speaker 1: think it's good to remember that everyone's relationships are different,
Speaker 1: and I think we have to respect those boundaries that
Speaker 1: people set up in their own relationships.
Speaker 3: So in saying that, why do people actually.
Speaker 2: Cheat, Well, there's multiple different reasons of why people cheat,
Speaker 2: I feel, but one of the main ones I would
Speaker 2: say is not enough love and attention from their partner.
Speaker 2: They might need it. Their partner might be busy with work,
Speaker 2: might be busy with the children, you know, all different
Speaker 2: sorts of stuff.
Speaker 1: So they're looking for that love somewhere else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and sad, but yeah, that's sort of things that happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean, I guess that's kind of like
Speaker 1: when people get into relationship ruts and they're just so
Speaker 1: on routine and doing the same thing and nothing's new
Speaker 1: and exciting, and they get a bit bored, and then.
Speaker 2: The three of cheating might be what they needed to
Speaker 2: stimulate their life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like, I mean, I think that another huge
Speaker 1: reason that people cheat is they don't have the balls
Speaker 1: to break up with their partner, so they kind of
Speaker 1: go into this self destructive mode where they kind of
Speaker 1: go a bit rogue and they don't try and cover
Speaker 1: up the cheating they want. They're pushing limits. Yeah, they
Speaker 1: want to get found out because they're breaking up with people.
Speaker 1: As we know, it is so difficult.
Speaker 2: It's a bold strategy.
Speaker 1: But I think sometimes also people do it subconsciously, Like
Speaker 1: subconsciously they're not happy, so they're willing to.
Speaker 3: Push those limits.
Speaker 1: Do you reckon that people cheat because they think that
Speaker 1: the grass is greener.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. I think a lot of people they see their
Speaker 2: single mates, their single roommates, thees, sing siblings, friends, they're
Speaker 2: all single and they're having fun. They're going out having fun.
Speaker 1: But it looks like a fun time being single though, right,
Speaker 1: it looks like a great time.
Speaker 2: It does. But look, I'm gonna say, the grass isn't
Speaker 2: always greener. On the other side, it's greener where you
Speaker 2: worter it.
Speaker 3: Amen to that, yea.
Speaker 2: So if you're in a relationship and you think that
Speaker 2: being single is better, I think that maybe you should
Speaker 2: focus on the relationship and try and make that work
Speaker 2: and make that fun. Yeah, go out with your partner
Speaker 2: and yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well we've spoken about this. To find someone who
Speaker 1: you really connect with, who you click with, that is
Speaker 1: so special, that's so amazing, and not everyone finds that.
Speaker 1: So if you're lucky enough to have found that and
Speaker 1: it's the right timing for you and things have.
Speaker 2: Aligned, don't take it for granted.
Speaker 3: Don't take it for granted.
Speaker 1: You know, when you meet someone and you have that
Speaker 1: spark and your best friends invest your energy into that.
Speaker 1: I think also a reason why people think the grass
Speaker 1: is greener, that type of nomenon exist is.
Speaker 3: Because of social media, because everything looks so.
Speaker 1: Perfect, and guys and girls go on to social media
Speaker 1: and they look at, you know, these amazing accounts with
Speaker 1: fun and excitement and travel and amazing lifestyles and everyone just.
Speaker 2: Like everyone looking dressed up, really nice, looking really hot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they think, oh my god, I'm sitting here
Speaker 1: at home watching TV with this guy.
Speaker 2: On all these other guys that, yeah, going out and
Speaker 2: having fun. But again, people put onto social media what
Speaker 2: they want people to see.
Speaker 3: It's curated.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a very small portion of what's actually going
Speaker 1: on in someone's life. And nine times out of ten,
Speaker 1: if someone hasn't absolutely killer feed they're not enjoying that
Speaker 1: party there. They're taking a million photos so that you
Speaker 1: think that they're enjoying that part, and then.
Speaker 2: They're looking through them all and favoriting which ones they
Speaker 2: want exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then they're editing process. Don't go down this
Speaker 1: social media black hole of thinking someone else's life is
Speaker 1: much better than yours, because nine times out of ten,
Speaker 1: it's not.
Speaker 2: Not at all. Okay, guys, it's time to play where's
Speaker 2: their head at our quick fire quiz where you guys
Speaker 2: have sent in scenarios and we tell you whether it's cheating,
Speaker 2: not cheating, or just disrespectful.
Speaker 1: Okay, so the first one is staring at another girl's
Speaker 1: boobs or bum cheating, disrespectful or not cheating.
Speaker 2: That's just disrespectful to your partner and the girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. I think it's disrespectful watching porn,
Speaker 1: not cheating, I think not cheating, But I think if
Speaker 1: you are substituting your partner for porn, then it's a
Speaker 1: bit of.
Speaker 3: A disrespectful situation.
Speaker 1: Like if you're watching porn all the time and then
Speaker 1: they want to have sex with you and you're like, sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm good, then maybe you should think that I've already
Speaker 1: done liking other girl's bikini posts.
Speaker 2: Disrespectful, disrespectful. I won't do that if I'm in a relationship.
Speaker 1: Keeping ex's nudes, What do you need them for? Exactly?
Speaker 1: I think it's cheating. I mildly cheating, mildly cheating, because
Speaker 1: what are you doing with those moods of your eggs?
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: These questions, what's going on out there?
Speaker 1: Where's your head out? So what do you think?
Speaker 2: I would say, just disrespectful, very disrespectful. What do you
Speaker 2: need for? Almost cheating?
Speaker 1: I think I think mildly cheating. Okay, flirting with other people?
Speaker 2: Is it flirting with intent or a chat with intent?
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I think it's I think it's crossing
Speaker 3: the line.
Speaker 2: It is, it's not it's not nice. That's that's that's.
Speaker 1: Micro cheating, like we spoke about. So that's technically cheating.
Speaker 2: Technically cheating. Yeah, I mean I think a.
Speaker 3: Little bit of a flirt here and there is okay.
Speaker 2: Not right in front of your partner.
Speaker 1: What are you to do when they're not dog you?
Speaker 2: I mean, if my partner was flirting with a guy
Speaker 2: in front of me, I'd be a bit like.
Speaker 1: So you're like, that's fine, don't flirt with them in
Speaker 1: front of me, But when I'm not here, go for
Speaker 1: your life.
Speaker 2: Its bliss.
Speaker 3: Telling another girl she's pretty?
Speaker 2: Again, where's the intent? Like, if you're just telling them
Speaker 2: they look nice, I mean, I don't.
Speaker 1: Think that's cheating. I don't think that's cheating. No, No, I
Speaker 1: don't think so goes to a party without telling you.
Speaker 2: Technically not cheating, Like pretty disrespectful.
Speaker 1: Pretty disrespectful, And why aren't you telling what are you
Speaker 1: doing at the party?
Speaker 2: Some people don't need to tell their partners there every
Speaker 2: movement though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and again that comes to relationship and what each
Speaker 1: relationship does. But in a relationship with me, I would.
Speaker 2: Say, probably say where are you movements?
Speaker 1: Please?
Speaker 2: No, we're not that crazy.
Speaker 1: Okay, going to the strip club secretly, Yeah.
Speaker 2: That's cheating. I'd say, we're not cheating, You're not doing anything.
Speaker 2: But that's just these are hard because it falls into
Speaker 2: the category of like disrespectful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think they're falling into the disrespectful category as well.
Speaker 2: But it's boundaries, like we said earlier, But I.
Speaker 1: Feel like all of these things seem a bit dodgy,
Speaker 1: like they could be doing something really wrong. Like, why
Speaker 1: are you going to a party and not telling your partner.
Speaker 2: I think it's safe to say if they're doing this
Speaker 2: dodgy stuff, there's probably other dodgy stuff happening probably.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like this isn't I think when these when all
Speaker 1: of these types of things start to build up, you
Speaker 1: can probably.
Speaker 2: Start to get a bit worried.
Speaker 1: It's not to worry, okay. The last one is flicking
Speaker 1: through a dating app when you're in a relationship, but
Speaker 1: not necessarily meeting.
Speaker 2: Up with people cheating.
Speaker 3: I think cheating as well, I reckon in this.
Speaker 2: Day and age, a massive thing is when you get
Speaker 2: into a relationship with someone, it's a step you delete
Speaker 2: your dating apps totally.
Speaker 3: I completely agree.
Speaker 2: You delete them. So the fact that you've still got them, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think is a red flag.
Speaker 1: And I think as well, like social media, some would
Speaker 1: argue is kind of like a dating app because you're
Speaker 1: getting right.
Speaker 2: Yah, you agree, I agree one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I mean I think at a bare minimum,
Speaker 1: to delete your actual it's not like you're deleting all
Speaker 1: your social media at the moment you get into a relationship.
Speaker 3: And yeah, just having respect is a huge one.
Speaker 1: And that was there's their head app Thanks for playing.
Speaker 2: Okay, so the burning question here is who's the cheater
Speaker 2: and who's been cheated on? Would you like to go first?
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I've never cheated on a partner. I've
Speaker 1: been cheated on quite badly, which I'm going to share
Speaker 1: in a minute, but that is the cheating.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, look I was. I cheated on my girlfriend
Speaker 2: when I was seventeen. Okay, so I was young. I
Speaker 2: mean I've learned from that, Like, yeah, it's you know,
Speaker 2: it's one of those things where she was such a
Speaker 2: great girl, awesome girl. If timing was different, who would
Speaker 2: have known. But it's a shame that I had to
Speaker 2: learn that lesson through her. Yeah, you like, it's a
Speaker 2: shame and I feel bad that I heard it. Even
Speaker 2: when I think about it now, I still feel bad. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it was one of those things. Like I was seventeen,
Speaker 2: it was my eighteenth birthday, went out. I never really
Speaker 2: grew up being like a good looking guy. So I
Speaker 2: went through puberty and I started getting all these girls
Speaker 2: attention and I didn't know what to do with it.
Speaker 1: And I was out in a club and it could
Speaker 1: have been an ego thing, which is a reason why
Speaker 1: people cheat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent agree. It was an ego thing.
Speaker 2: It killed my ego at the time. And I went
Speaker 2: around and I kissed a couple of girls, and.
Speaker 1: Jeez, you didn't even go for one.
Speaker 2: I mean, like, and again, the relationship was on the
Speaker 2: rocks at the time. Anyway, It wasn't like we were
Speaker 2: in this like like ideal relationship. It wasn't.
Speaker 3: But it's still cheating.
Speaker 2: It's still cheating. Nonetheless, it's still cheating.
Speaker 3: Talk me through this.
Speaker 1: You've gone out that night, you got drunk, you kissed
Speaker 1: a couple of girls. What was that feeling when you
Speaker 1: first woke up in the morning and remembered what had
Speaker 1: happened the night before?
Speaker 2: Guilt?
Speaker 3: Riddled with gil.
Speaker 2: Yeah, riddled with gil y Yeah, hungover guilty, Yeah it was.
Speaker 3: And I mean, so it's not a good feeling.
Speaker 2: It's not. The reason I haven't done it since is
Speaker 2: because like that of that feeling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, way on you?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah, And it's and I even like, I
Speaker 2: feel hard, I feel difficult talking about it now. You
Speaker 2: tell like I was, she was a really nice girl,
Speaker 2: and I hate to have learned that lesson with her.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so then you went to family dinner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for my birthday, my eighteen yep, And yeah, she
Speaker 2: found out and broke up with me and really haven't
Speaker 2: spoken much to her since.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: I dated her for two years, sixteen to eighteen.
Speaker 3: So she was your first proper girlfriend in.
Speaker 2: The puppy love stage, is what it is?
Speaker 3: Heartbreaking?
Speaker 2: What about yourself? You said you got cheated on?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been on the other end.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so I'm on like this.
Speaker 2: How old were you?
Speaker 3: And I was nineteen?
Speaker 1: And again it was my first, like you, my first,
Speaker 1: I think, my first love, like this was the first
Speaker 1: guy who I loved and it was a bit of
Speaker 1: a rocky relationship.
Speaker 3: He was a DJ. I read, I was a club promoter.
Speaker 2: Red match Made in Heaven, very DJ, it's a red flighter.
Speaker 1: And he ended up running a party up in Byron
Speaker 1: Bay with schoolies and so he was a bit older,
Speaker 1: so he was technically.
Speaker 2: A tully bit red flag.
Speaker 1: So many red flags. I wasn't seeing any of them.
Speaker 1: And yeah, we were together. I dropped him off at
Speaker 1: the airport so he could go to Byron Nice of you,
Speaker 1: very nice of me. Picked him up seven days later,
Speaker 1: and the first like major telltale sign that he had
Speaker 1: cheated on me. Was after I had picked him up
Speaker 1: from his seven day vacation in Byron Bay where he
Speaker 1: was partying every night. He got in the car and
Speaker 1: just kept looking at me, deeply into my eyes and
Speaker 1: staring at me as I was driving, and just kept saying,
Speaker 1: You're so beautiful, I'm so lucky to be with you,
Speaker 1: And then actually got to a point where he started
Speaker 1: tearing up, being like I just love you so much.
Speaker 3: Like he was like.
Speaker 2: Crying, and I was like, go any more guilty.
Speaker 1: At the time, I was just like, he's like cute,
Speaker 1: he lost me so much, but in hindsighted so obvious,
Speaker 1: the nineteen year old me was just I was just
Speaker 1: laughing it up.
Speaker 2: All the attention. You're like, yeah, reassurance.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So how'd you find out?
Speaker 1: Then? Okay, so two months later we were still together.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I didn't find out straight away. And I
Speaker 1: actually went to coffee with his best friend two months later.
Speaker 2: As a date.
Speaker 1: What just as friends friend? Yeah, we were all friends.
Speaker 1: I was friends with all of his friends. And I
Speaker 1: went to coffee with his best friend and during coffee,
Speaker 1: mid coffee, his best friend said to me, and keeping
Speaker 1: in mind the best friend was the only way that
Speaker 1: I would have ever found out he.
Speaker 2: Sold out his best mate.
Speaker 1: So basically, I'm sitting at coffee and he looked at
Speaker 1: me and he said, I have something to tell and
Speaker 1: then I was like yeah, and then he's like, oh no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I can't say it. I can't say it. I can't
Speaker 1: do it. I can't do it. And at that point
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm finding out what it is you
Speaker 1: have to say, and I basically pulled it out of
Speaker 1: his best friend and he was like, you just don't
Speaker 1: deserve this. You're a great girl. I think you're amazing.
Speaker 1: And your boyfriend cheated on you six times in seven
Speaker 1: days when he was in schoolies at Byron Bay.
Speaker 2: Six and seven days.
Speaker 1: Six girls in seven days, and wow, when I configure
Speaker 1: and do it, I can laugh about it now, but
Speaker 1: at the time I was devastating. I've never been so
Speaker 1: heartbroken in my whole life. Like I remember being like,
Speaker 1: I will never get over this moment.
Speaker 2: Because it given you trust issues going forward.
Speaker 3: Major trust issues.
Speaker 1: Major because I think as well, like when a partner's
Speaker 1: going on holiday, you're really giving them a big level
Speaker 1: of your trust and to have.
Speaker 2: That smashed, especially to schoolies, especially.
Speaker 1: To schoolies, and he was calling me every single night.
Speaker 1: So every night that he got home. Sometimes I'd be
Speaker 1: asleep and he'd call me at like two am being like.
Speaker 3: Hey, I just got home. I love you, just wanted
Speaker 3: to let you know.
Speaker 1: Hangs up the phone and goes into the room to
Speaker 1: sleep with the girl. I mean, it's wild. The levels
Speaker 1: he went to were wild. But anyway, I ended up
Speaker 1: after the coffee with his friend.
Speaker 2: Did you call him out on it? Obviously?
Speaker 1: Yeah. I called him and confronted him about it, and
Speaker 1: he completely denied it, like went into full denied, denied
Speaker 1: denial mode, which we're going to talk about. The denied,
Speaker 1: denied deny is.
Speaker 2: What a lot of people do when they're caught out cheating.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's that culture that we kind of have in
Speaker 1: this society where people think it's better to not be
Speaker 1: honest with their partner and to let them live in
Speaker 1: this fairyland bubble.
Speaker 2: Say he was honest and had said, yes, Anna, I
Speaker 2: fucked up. I fucked up. I slept with six girls
Speaker 2: and seven nights.
Speaker 1: I mean I feel like a fuck Up's like after
Speaker 1: the first night you call them and say, I did
Speaker 1: I think six it's an intentional thing. And so therefore,
Speaker 1: even if he was honest, he's still.
Speaker 2: In the bin. Yeah, you're right. I tried to give
Speaker 2: him benefit of the doubt, but fuck, bro, you did
Speaker 2: it to yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable, catching
Speaker 1: my mup. Yeah, And so he denied it, and so
Speaker 1: his best friend, because he didn't want to be seen
Speaker 1: as a liar, actually ended up.
Speaker 2: Are they still friends?
Speaker 3: No, that was the end of their friend.
Speaker 2: Did you have a crack at the best friend?
Speaker 1: Then no, absolutely not that he the friend actually ended
Speaker 1: up going through all of the club photos from the
Speaker 1: schooli's events and found this photo zoomed in on it
Speaker 1: and he had a hickey on his neck and this
Speaker 1: is my ex boyfriend or my boyfriend of the time
Speaker 1: he cheated. Yeah, he had a hickey on it from
Speaker 1: one of his one night stands. And when I asked
Speaker 1: him about it, his response was, Oh, did I forget
Speaker 1: to tell you about the fight I got in where
Speaker 1: I landed on my neck? Did I forget to mention that?
Speaker 1: And at that point I was like, this is over. Mah,
Speaker 1: what a dip shit, right, at least believable, Like.
Speaker 2: Surely there's a say you were just yeah, your mate
Speaker 2: gave it to you. I don't know something better than that.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I think honesty is the best policy,
Speaker 1: but in that situation, just be honest, like you've been
Speaker 1: caught out. You've already been caught out. But let's not
Speaker 1: make up a miscellaneous fight that never happened. It didn't happen.
Speaker 2: You see the other guy though, hickes he's got from me.
Speaker 3: Trash.
Speaker 1: Okay, So when you've caught your partner cheating, there's a
Speaker 1: few things that they can do.
Speaker 3: The first one is deny.
Speaker 1: So there's this massive culture and mentality around deny, deny, deny, I.
Speaker 3: Think, especially with males. Would you agree.
Speaker 2: I tend to agree with that. Yeah, that the when
Speaker 2: I did it, when I was younger, I had that
Speaker 2: mentality of denying, deny and deny, like if I don't
Speaker 2: believe it, did it really happen? It happened. It's for
Speaker 2: gay it didn't happen. Like if I don't believe it,
Speaker 2: you don't believe it. It never happened. It wasn't a thing.
Speaker 2: I feel that that's it's really shit way about going
Speaker 2: about it. Obviously, that guilt you have to walk around
Speaker 2: with you have to live with that knowing that you
Speaker 2: did cheat on your partner, your significant other.
Speaker 3: And it's a burden, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, can eat away at you. And if you continue
Speaker 2: to stay with them, like I don't know anything to
Speaker 2: do that just be eating weight. You'd be at the
Speaker 2: back of your mind. You'd continuously think, I've cheated on
Speaker 2: this person that I love.
Speaker 1: For someone that's not really even worth it, who I
Speaker 1: don't really know, whatever, whatever the circumstances is, it's just
Speaker 1: not worth it. And I think it is a younger mentality,
Speaker 1: Like you said that you did that when you're younger,
Speaker 1: but now you've kind of evolved and you realize that
Speaker 1: honesty is the best policy.
Speaker 2: It is, And I feel like if you're honest about it,
Speaker 2: then you've got nothing to hide, and your conscience is.
Speaker 1: Clear exactly and you can sleep well at night.
Speaker 2: Knowing IF's fucked up. But I was honest and I
Speaker 2: expressed it. I told him.
Speaker 1: And I think sometimes if you do something that might
Speaker 1: have crossed the line or something that's a bit out
Speaker 1: of character, I think the best thing to do is
Speaker 1: just to.
Speaker 3: Be honest about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I'm not saying go have sex with someone
Speaker 1: and then you know. I'm not saying you should cheat
Speaker 1: on someone, but in relationships, I'm sure there are.
Speaker 3: Things that people do.
Speaker 1: No one's perfect, no one's perfect, right, And I think
Speaker 1: if you're honest with your partner, it can build a
Speaker 1: closer bond because you realize it what what ever happens,
Speaker 1: I know that they're going to be honest with me.
Speaker 1: And we did a poll on our Where's your head
Speaker 1: at pod Instagram page and we asked you guys, would
Speaker 1: you prefer to know if your partner cheated on you,
Speaker 1: even if it was never going to happen again, And
Speaker 1: eighty six percent of the people on our page said
Speaker 1: that they would prefer to know. And I think it
Speaker 1: was really telling as well that seventy three percent of
Speaker 1: you guys thought that it was better if your partner
Speaker 1: was honest with you about the.
Speaker 2: Cheating, so people would rather find out than have it
Speaker 2: kept a secret from him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think people want like an honest, open relationship.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, we all want that.
Speaker 1: No one wants to be number one be in a
Speaker 1: deceitful relationship, and no one wants to be harboring guilt
Speaker 1: and secrets from their partner.
Speaker 2: Imagine everyone else knows, but you don't know as well.
Speaker 3: That's my worst nightmare. Genuinely.
Speaker 1: One of the scariest things to me is walking into
Speaker 1: a room with my boyfriend hand in hand.
Speaker 3: I've imagined this scenario many.
Speaker 1: Times, me walking into a room with my boyfriend hand
Speaker 1: in hand, and then there's a group of girls in
Speaker 1: the corner or a group of people and they're like, Oh,
Speaker 1: her boyfriend's cheating on her with this person, or he's
Speaker 1: been hooking up with this person, or he's been talking
Speaker 1: to my friend.
Speaker 3: That's my worst nightmare.
Speaker 2: That would be brutal. If it was I was in
Speaker 2: the same situation with a girl and that happened, I
Speaker 2: would kill you, wouldn't it.
Speaker 1: It would absolutely kill you. And it also feels like
Speaker 1: your partner's disrespected you. But then they're also humiliating you
Speaker 1: because they're allowing other people to talk about you behind
Speaker 1: your back, and that's just not okay.
Speaker 2: I used to feel like ignorance is bliss, but definitely not.
Speaker 2: I yeah, you want to know. I used to feel like,
Speaker 2: if they cheated on me, just break up with me
Speaker 2: and don't tell me. You know what I mean? But
Speaker 2: then again, you would probably want to know why they
Speaker 2: did break up with you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's good to know the whole story
Speaker 1: of why things have deteriorated, because, as we've spoken about
Speaker 1: in the past, every relationship is a lesson, and if
Speaker 1: you're being hidden from.
Speaker 2: The lesson, how are you going to grow and how
Speaker 2: are you going to learn for your next relationship?
Speaker 3: Exactly?
Speaker 2: I know what to do so you don't get yourself
Speaker 2: stuck in that same situation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think as well.
Speaker 1: Another thing that people do when they get caught cheating
Speaker 1: is gaslight.
Speaker 2: So you were you mentioned gas lighting earlier when yeah,
Speaker 2: when they say something isn't true, but it clearly.
Speaker 1: Is when you know for a fact that something is true,
Speaker 1: like you saw.
Speaker 2: Them leaving so on, and they say they did it
Speaker 2: and you're like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then you start questioning your own reality. You're
Speaker 1: like like going crazy, is this a me problem?
Speaker 3: And it's toxic.
Speaker 2: It is. Yeah, I've been gaslighting people before and yeah,
Speaker 2: it's definitely toxic. It makes you question a whole sense
Speaker 2: of reality, your whole sense of sanity, like what's going on?
Speaker 2: Like you just.
Speaker 1: Feel generally as a whole unset you just never really
Speaker 1: can relax. That's how it feels. Does I think it
Speaker 1: also makes you feel vulnerable and just like you're in
Speaker 1: the wrong for accusing them of such a thing, like
Speaker 1: how could you accuse me of doing that? You know?
Speaker 1: So it's it's really toxic and it's really dangerous. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of people who studied body language as well,
Speaker 1: so they know exactly what a liar is going to do,
Speaker 1: like are they going to look to the left or
Speaker 1: the right, or like are they going to tell me
Speaker 1: the truth? So they'll ask their partner a question and
Speaker 1: then they'll just study the shit out of their body
Speaker 1: language and they'll make their own mind up.
Speaker 2: Wow, people go to extreme lengths.
Speaker 3: People do go to extreme length.
Speaker 2: To catch their partners cheating. What are some of them?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we asked you guys on our socials and
Speaker 1: there were some great ones.
Speaker 2: Some people people going to some extreme lengths. I mean
Speaker 2: some of them. I was like, whoall.
Speaker 1: Some people have flown into state to follow their partner
Speaker 1: because they know they're out of town for work and
Speaker 1: they're making sh But what they're doing is work, and
Speaker 1: a lot of the time they have caught them cheating.
Speaker 1: From the stories that we heard, Yeah.
Speaker 2: They've hired pis adding their location setting to their phone
Speaker 2: so they can track their partners every movements, track.
Speaker 1: Their every move So yeah, sharing their location. I think
Speaker 1: a big one was keeping track of their Snapchat score,
Speaker 1: so they're checking to see how much their scores going up.
Speaker 1: By then they can basically tell how many people they're
Speaker 1: talking to.
Speaker 2: I used to have a mate that when it was
Speaker 2: like Snapchat Top friends, and he used to so he
Speaker 2: used you know how, he used to have a top
Speaker 2: friend on Snapchat could see his top friends. He would
Speaker 2: obviously talk to girls on Snapchat when he was with
Speaker 2: his partner, so they wouldn't get he wouldn't get caught out. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it'd randomly during the day, you get random messages
Speaker 2: snapchat photos of him and he's like, Haha, what are
Speaker 2: you up to today?
Speaker 1: And you just feel like, so he's trying to get
Speaker 1: you into his top friends. That's so naughty.
Speaker 2: The girl your phone would be going off and you'd
Speaker 2: be like, literally, he's one way conversation with whatever earl
Speaker 2: he was talking, Like what the fuck are they talking
Speaker 2: about now? So the top way that people were try
Speaker 2: and catch their partners out for cheating, We found that
Speaker 2: people sent in.
Speaker 1: Was was they make a fake account. They add a
Speaker 1: profile picture that they know is their partner's type, so
Speaker 1: someone who they know their partner would normally go for
Speaker 1: if they weren't with them, and then they start trying
Speaker 1: to talk to their partner as a fake account and
Speaker 1: see if they buy it.
Speaker 2: Imagine the lengths you have to go to. You have
Speaker 2: to find the photos, you have to make the account
Speaker 2: look genuine, so you have to buy follows, by comments,
Speaker 2: by likes. Imagine the lenks you have to go to
Speaker 2: to do that.
Speaker 3: People are willing to go to those lanes.
Speaker 2: At that point you just think like, all right, maybe.
Speaker 1: But you know what. The crazy thing about doing that
Speaker 1: is that a lot of the people caught their partner
Speaker 1: talking back, and I mean essentially emotionally or micro cheating,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people said that they broke up
Speaker 1: with their partner because of.
Speaker 2: This, Like, my dumb ass, would I feel like I
Speaker 2: would if I really liked someone, I wouldn't reply back
Speaker 2: to anyone. Yeah, I wouldn't.
Speaker 3: If you really like them, you wouldn't. But if you
Speaker 3: were a hundred.
Speaker 2: Sub flame, react, So if you caught out your partner
Speaker 2: for cheating, if it was in any of those ways,
Speaker 2: like a fake account, you tracked their movements, anything like that.
Speaker 2: Would you take them back after knowing they've possibly slept
Speaker 2: with someone, kissed someone, or they have emotionally cheated on you.
Speaker 3: I'm going to say no.
Speaker 1: I think in the situation that I'm in right now,
Speaker 1: it's a strong no from me. I just I think obviously,
Speaker 1: because I've been cheated on so badly in the past,
Speaker 1: it's very triggering to me any sort of cheating. And
Speaker 1: I think if I was in a situation where I
Speaker 1: had kids, I might see things through a different lens.
Speaker 1: But as it stands, I just think any sort of
Speaker 1: cheating is unacceptable to me.
Speaker 3: And I know what I'm like.
Speaker 1: If someone cheated on me, I know that they're gonna
Speaker 1: get crazy anna incoming hard and fast. Like I would
Speaker 1: be on their phone. I'd be asking them like where
Speaker 1: they're going? If they're talking to someone who I don't know,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, who's that? I just I honestly, and
Speaker 1: it's not even for their benefit. I just wouldn't want
Speaker 1: to put myself through that emotional turmoil of just feeling
Speaker 1: completely caught up and.
Speaker 3: Overwhelmed with that situation.
Speaker 1: Because as we've said, relationships are all about trust, and
Speaker 1: once that trust is gone, it takes an enormous amount
Speaker 1: of effort to build it back up. And I think
Speaker 1: if someone's willing to put your relationship in jeopardy, then
Speaker 1: that's not for me.
Speaker 2: And I mean, they mustn't have much value on it.
Speaker 2: If there will, they.
Speaker 3: Don't respect, they don't value you.
Speaker 1: And I know every situation is different, but yeah, I
Speaker 1: just I don't think that I would be able to
Speaker 1: come back from that because I wouldn't want to put
Speaker 1: myself through it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, what about you? Do you think that you
Speaker 3: could come back from a partner cheating on you?
Speaker 2: Look, I feel like to everyone that has taken their
Speaker 2: partner back after they've cheated on them, look, that's what
Speaker 2: you want to do. I don't feel like I could.
Speaker 2: I don't feel like. Look, if they'd slept with someone else,
Speaker 2: if they you know what I mean, that someone else
Speaker 2: had been with the person that you love, who's meant
Speaker 2: to give you everything and they're meant to love you,
Speaker 2: then that trust is portrayed's and that's it takes a
Speaker 2: lot to build up, and I don't think you can
Speaker 2: build that up through I can't even know how you
Speaker 2: could to be honest with, Like, how do you build
Speaker 2: that trust back?
Speaker 1: I think it's definitely possible, and I know that there's
Speaker 1: I have friends who have successfully overcome cheating and it
Speaker 1: was a one time thing and it never happened again.
Speaker 2: Do you think if someone takes someone back, they're either
Speaker 2: very secure in themselves and they know what they've got,
Speaker 2: or they're very insecure about themselves.
Speaker 3: I think it's a case by case.
Speaker 2: It has to be.
Speaker 3: It has to be a case by case.
Speaker 2: So I just feel like I would be so after that.
Speaker 1: Like you imagine being deeply in love with your partner
Speaker 1: and that happens left field, and it just kind of
Speaker 1: shakes you. I don't think it necessarily makes you insecure
Speaker 1: or not like secure enough. I just think that maybe
Speaker 1: you just love them so much and are willing to
Speaker 1: do anything to make the relationship work. And there's totally
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that. There's not, but yeah, I've
Speaker 1: just been through it, and I just wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: put myself through it again. I think.
Speaker 3: The only redeeming thing about.
Speaker 2: Someone that's cheated and to get your back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the only redeeming thing about cheating or
Speaker 1: someone trying to get you back after cheating would be
Speaker 1: if there were one hundred percent honest from day dot,
Speaker 1: like they said, I I fucked up.
Speaker 3: I hold my hands up.
Speaker 2: Yeah I'm guilty.
Speaker 1: I'm guilty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's try and make this work so so it
Speaker 2: does it never happens again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then obviously they put in like an enormous
Speaker 1: amount of effort. But like even then, for me, it's
Speaker 1: it's difficult to think about. But yeah, I think honesty
Speaker 1: is definitely the best policy. The moment. The moment that
Speaker 1: there's any sort of deceit after cheating, I just think
Speaker 1: that's all over red Rover.
Speaker 3: But that's just me.
Speaker 1: Everyone's different, and I'm sure that there's plenty of people who,
Speaker 1: like as I said, like friends of mine who have successful.
Speaker 2: I've seen it happen before. I know people that have
Speaker 2: been cheated on and they've taken their partner back and
Speaker 2: they've they're happy, they've grown and now they're married. In
Speaker 2: that like, it can happen. But for me, I would
Speaker 2: find it very hard. I would I would struggle.
Speaker 3: And maybe that's an ego thing for both of us.
Speaker 1: We could be talking totally on ego right now, and
Speaker 1: I think we probably are.
Speaker 2: But I'm not good enough for you. You mean that
Speaker 2: Joe down the corners.
Speaker 1: Him over this.
Speaker 2: Like that.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think we're probably talking on ego.
Speaker 1: I think I'm probably talking on past traumas from cheating incidents,
Speaker 1: and you know, it's a correlation of all of those things.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think everyone can make that decision in
Speaker 1: the situation.
Speaker 2: How amazing is a love and support we received from
Speaker 2: Where's your Head Out? Fam?
Speaker 1: Honestly, we are so overwhelmed. Obviously, we're a small podcast,
Speaker 1: so all of the five star reviews that we've been
Speaker 1: getting makes such a difference to us and help us
Speaker 1: to grow so much, So we're so grateful for those.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's important to see what you guys are loving
Speaker 2: and what you guys are not loving. So keeping the reviews,
Speaker 2: we read every single one of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're reading all of them.
Speaker 1: So if you get a chance to give us a
Speaker 1: five star rating, we would absolutely love that and we
Speaker 1: love you guys.
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, thanks for listening. On our next episode, what
Speaker 2: are we talking about.
Speaker 1: Anna, We're talking about first day. We're giving you guys
Speaker 1: our best first date ad buyas how to nale your
Speaker 1: first day, places to go, things to talk about, everything
Speaker 1: you need to know.
Speaker 2: Look, we've been on a lot of first dates, so
Speaker 2: I think we know what we're talking about. This one,
Speaker 2: I'm some shockers, but.
Speaker 1: We're sharing our best tips with you. Say stay tuned,
Speaker 1: we can't wait to talk to you.
Speaker 3: Then h