Speaker 1: Jodi and Hazes Alfair podcast performing at the Adelaide Cabaret Festival.
Speaker 1: The show is called Engrged. Can you please welcome Rubin.
Speaker 2: Cater I'd love to say it's a pleasure, but it
Speaker 2: is very early in the morning for me to be here.
Speaker 3: This feels homophobic.
Speaker 1: Now what about this? The sixteenth of June is sold out,
Speaker 1: the seventeenth of June is pretty much sold out. But
Speaker 1: you've had to put on a new show on the
Speaker 1: twenty fourth of June at seven thirty pm.
Speaker 2: I have by public demand democracy and action. And the
Speaker 2: Greece invented two things, democracy and homosexuality. So let's see
Speaker 2: which one does well for me. Let's fuse them together.
Speaker 4: See what happens.
Speaker 2: To be fair, I'm into it. I've got a king
Speaker 2: bed at the Intercoin. Let's see how many people we
Speaker 2: can get up. Oh goodness, get in. I'm going to say,
Speaker 2: get in, but also get up. It's a whole move
Speaker 2: on anyway.
Speaker 4: Yes, it ties in beautifully to the show title and
Speaker 4: gorged indeed through it swollen, overblown everything that makes your
Speaker 4: mind going, what's going on here?
Speaker 2: Well, originally what we wanted to do was have the
Speaker 2: word gorge in it like oh that's gorge, Oh that's gorge.
Speaker 2: And then we realized that if we just put engorged
Speaker 2: but capitalize the gorge and then we can get a
Speaker 2: really filthy pun in under the radar, so to speak,
Speaker 2: for the Adelaide Cabaret Fessel, and they went with it.
Speaker 2: It's sort of like when we were at q PAC
Speaker 2: in Queensland that had the ten meter high led screens
Speaker 2: on the side of the building and we had them
Speaker 2: with the K.
Speaker 3: Hole there because no one at q PAC knew what
Speaker 3: a k hole was one.
Speaker 2: So today I've got engaged on the Adelaide Cabaret Festival
Speaker 2: out the front in ten meter letters.
Speaker 1: Well done you. And it's not like you to love
Speaker 1: a filthy pun, is it.
Speaker 2: There's a reason I'm not allowed on live TV anymore.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm on tour so much. It's harder to
Speaker 2: hit a moving target. Yes, I'm so thickly spread across
Speaker 2: this nation. I might as well be systemic racism as.
Speaker 4: Well, particularly with the Eastern States. I don't think they
Speaker 4: can partic identify where Adelaide is. Get Ruben, he's an Adelaide.
Speaker 3: Adelaide can't identify where Adelaide.
Speaker 1: Is Ruben what are we What sort of songs are
Speaker 1: we performing? Oh?
Speaker 2: Well, there's a couple of originals in there, which we're
Speaker 2: very excited about. We have some stuff from some pretty
Speaker 2: niche performers like Amandalier, who is one of the queer
Speaker 2: kind of supermodel vocalists in inverted commas from Studio fifty four.
Speaker 3: Then we've got some Carol king in there. Once.
Speaker 2: I just have to really think because there's a lot
Speaker 2: of songs. It's eighteen musicians that I've got there. I know,
Speaker 2: normally we have different names for the band, So normally
Speaker 2: it's Ruben Kay and the Close Contacts, or ruben Ka
Speaker 2: and the Emergency Contacts.
Speaker 3: This year it's ruben k and the Afterthoughts.
Speaker 2: Because there's eighteen, sorry, because there's eight Did you have
Speaker 2: a dump button?
Speaker 3: I can't find I can't find it. That's that's what
Speaker 3: I was told.
Speaker 2: By a very unethical VET on Hands and Road, and
Speaker 2: I said to him, I said, I won't swallow it
Speaker 2: until you put it in a piece of ham and
Speaker 2: stroke my throat.
Speaker 3: I still can't find.
Speaker 2: The song list is absolutely incredible, as am I. In fact,
Speaker 2: I don't think the Adelaide Cabaret Festival deserves to have me.
Speaker 2: We've got some stuff from Amandalier, who's one of the
Speaker 2: old sort of supermodel vocalists in inverted commas from Studio
Speaker 2: fifty four. There's Carol King. We got a bit of
Speaker 2: Whitney in there. We got a little bit of Aerosmith
Speaker 2: in there. We've got some stuff from the Divine Comedy,
Speaker 2: this amazing sort of dramatic and vaguely depressing but very
Speaker 2: sardonic and biting band from the UK.
Speaker 3: And then ah.
Speaker 2: There's this amazing version of this song that your listeners
Speaker 2: are far too young to remember, called If I Ruled
Speaker 2: the World, sung by Tony Bennett. But let's just say
Speaker 2: we've given it the ruben k treatment. My goodness me,
Speaker 2: she slaps.
Speaker 3: Yeah, gorged it a little bit? Yeah? Are you now?
Speaker 2: I can tell because you're wearing such a short short
Speaker 2: in the morning. What fabric is is that? A is
Speaker 2: that it's like it's like the pants version of a
Speaker 2: sawn off shot done.
Speaker 3: What you're were much they were track pants and you've
Speaker 3: taken a scissor to them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and under these clothes as well, nothing at all.
Speaker 3: Nothing Now, I am engorged.
Speaker 2: I didn't know this show came with a free mealp
Speaker 2: my coach.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I don't think the first time in
Speaker 4: my life I'm blushing. Is this what blushing feels like? Yes,
Speaker 4: Oh my god, depends what set of cheeks. Oh imagine
Speaker 4: if you're having a little inappropriate gorge gorged off with
Speaker 4: ruby Kate gorged off, you could go for hours room.
Speaker 3: Have a drain because my mattress has gutters. But this
Speaker 3: is a whole.
Speaker 1: Different thing right now, Ruben, you are incredibly stylish, and
Speaker 1: you've just made reference to Hazes at high. He's incredibly unstylish.
Speaker 1: I would love for you to give him some sort
Speaker 1: of makeover.
Speaker 2: Look. I think it's very unfair to refer to people
Speaker 2: who like heterosect people who identify as beige as and
Speaker 2: don't you laugh, you're wearing it suspiciously off white sweater
Speaker 2: there that feels like it could be oatmeal, champagne or oyster.
Speaker 2: I think every single person is beautiful in what they
Speaker 2: are comfortable in. And if you're comfortable in a torn
Speaker 2: jersey with a coffee stain, you do to celebrate the
Speaker 2: journey you're on.
Speaker 1: I don't think you've been seeing the Birkenstocks at this
Speaker 1: point is more sorry that Joe the bottom half please.
Speaker 2: Oh but the calf is good and the macas socks
Speaker 2: with the Birkenstocks real time. But I will say this,
Speaker 2: if you're wearing Birkenstocks, you are immediately part of the
Speaker 2: queer community.
Speaker 3: Really right. That's the b N L G B T
Speaker 3: q A.
Speaker 4: I just toe in if you don't mind, please, we'll
Speaker 4: have to get some lubricant toe and a pedicure.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I've always said I reckon.
Speaker 4: These cars could really clean up if I decided to
Speaker 4: switch over.
Speaker 1: Actually, you should probably tell Ruben what your name auto
Speaker 1: corrects to on a night.
Speaker 3: That's very funny. We spoke about this a couple of
Speaker 3: days ago.
Speaker 4: Rubin and my I'd call myself hazy because my last
Speaker 4: name is Hayes h.
Speaker 1: A y E s y incredibly original auto.
Speaker 4: Correct always towards the end of an email, and he
Speaker 4: signed off autocorrect to gayest, So now I'm gay.
Speaker 3: I really feel like I didn't need that information. I
Speaker 3: felt like you'd already broadcasted and stuff to It was confirmation,
Speaker 3: wasn't it. I mean, that was your confirmation.
Speaker 2: Perhaps say that I love that sometimes isn't it funny
Speaker 2: how auto correct really portrays the truest parts of ourselves.
Speaker 3: Yes, who told you?
Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm having at the moment. It's
Speaker 2: not an autocorrect moment. But I'm copying a bit of
Speaker 2: flak online, which is fine. You know, you're a queer
Speaker 2: person out there, you gets some flax. But sometimes when
Speaker 2: people send me pretty nasty emails, they're doing it in
Speaker 2: such a hurry that they're forgetting to delete their email signatures.
Speaker 3: Oh oh wow.
Speaker 2: Which one makes it really easy to send it off
Speaker 2: to the police because it's the business.
Speaker 3: Name that's there.
Speaker 2: But also sometimes you get things like they'll say something
Speaker 2: really violent, awful, and then at the end they'll say
Speaker 2: please consider the environment before printing this, or a really
Speaker 2: big thread like something really awful, and then they'll say
Speaker 2: at the end, cheers John.
Speaker 3: God, I love it. It's so camp seem adorable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it blows my mind when people hurl abuse on
Speaker 1: the internet and it's like, I think you've just abused
Speaker 1: someone and your photos there, and your name is there,
Speaker 1: and your place of work is there. Correct, so you've
Speaker 1: just done that in a public forum. Does it ever
Speaker 1: cut you? Do you ever get upset over it, or
Speaker 1: well I think I used to. Yeah, I think I
Speaker 1: used to.
Speaker 2: And every soften one gets through to the keeper because
Speaker 2: it's just a numbers game, right, you never at your
Speaker 2: strongest one hundred percent of the time.
Speaker 3: But also I think I've found.
Speaker 2: A way to process it by putting it into the show,
Speaker 2: and because they've sent it to me. Yeah, it's not
Speaker 2: like I'm breaching confidentiality by names makes posing names and businesses. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so if you send me hate attached to your with
Speaker 2: your business, because I'm just like, okay, right, hate is hate.
Speaker 3: Whatever you send it to me, be smart about it.
Speaker 3: Also classic Victorian classic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got a similar situation because we live across
Speaker 1: from a let's just say, a special massage place.
Speaker 3: It's a brothel room. Fantastic, I've got to shift. I'm
Speaker 3: going to go there and pick up chap actually.
Speaker 1: But it makes me laugh when like people pull up
Speaker 1: and it's like Bruce is electrical van, It's like a brand.
Speaker 2: I'm like, Oh, I think I think those kinds of
Speaker 2: places should not be what's the word I'm thinking of.
Speaker 2: Oh God, I'm having I'm having an aneurysm live on
Speaker 2: the air. Well I don't think those places should be secret,
Speaker 2: and I don't think they should be covert. I think
Speaker 2: sex work is sex work, and if you want to
Speaker 2: go get your needs met, do.
Speaker 3: It bloody proudly.
Speaker 2: You can afford to see a sex worker in this economy,
Speaker 2: Bruce is electrical good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's got too much money exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But they're always on the phone too. That's what makes
Speaker 1: me laugh. They're not proud about it. They've all got there.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, See darling, I'm just.
Speaker 4: Just going to a job. I just don't get into specificat.
Speaker 1: Is just picking something up for dinner? Yeah, well are
Speaker 1: you Bruce providing?
Speaker 3: Certainly? You certainly get a mouthful.
Speaker 4: Don't play this game with this man.
Speaker 3: No one, I'm say.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you right now, you two have got dare
Speaker 2: I say the upper hand here because you're used to
Speaker 2: being able to modify and codify language for radio. I'm
Speaker 2: used to doing stuff live where I can be as
Speaker 2: free and easy with my language. So I want you
Speaker 2: to know I have shown so much restraint and control.
Speaker 2: This is restraining version. Wow, we didn't even organize a
Speaker 2: safe word, Reuben.
Speaker 1: The show is called in Gorge. In case you haven't
Speaker 1: got that already. You are larger than life. I've seen
Speaker 1: you and you are just absolutely spectacular, So.
Speaker 3: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: Both of the shows, the sixteenth and seventeenth, have sold out,
Speaker 2: but we have added a new show on Saturday the
Speaker 2: twenty fourth at the Dunston Playhouse, me eighteen piece Orchestra
Speaker 2: and a party at my room at the inter Connor.
Speaker 3: I could say, no.
Speaker 1: Everything, what room number because of Hazy is going to
Speaker 1: be there?
Speaker 3: Yeah, five fourteenth that's me. That's me down the hallway
Speaker 3: in the Birkenstocks