WEBVTT - UNCUT | Reuben Kaye Tries To Flip Hayesy

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<v Speaker 1>Jodi and Hazes Alfair podcast performing at the Adelaide Cabaret Festival.

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<v Speaker 1>The show is called Engrged. Can you please welcome Rubin.

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<v Speaker 2>Cater I'd love to say it's a pleasure, but it

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<v Speaker 2>is very early in the morning for me to be here.

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<v Speaker 3>This feels homophobic.

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<v Speaker 1>Now what about this? The sixteenth of June is sold out,

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<v Speaker 1>the seventeenth of June is pretty much sold out. But

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<v Speaker 1>you've had to put on a new show on the

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<v Speaker 1>twenty fourth of June at seven thirty pm.

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<v Speaker 2>I have by public demand democracy and action. And the

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<v Speaker 2>Greece invented two things, democracy and homosexuality. So let's see

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<v Speaker 2>which one does well for me. Let's fuse them together.

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<v Speaker 4>See what happens.

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<v Speaker 2>To be fair, I'm into it. I've got a king

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<v Speaker 2>bed at the Intercoin. Let's see how many people we

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<v Speaker 2>can get up. Oh goodness, get in. I'm going to say,

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<v Speaker 2>get in, but also get up. It's a whole move

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<v Speaker 2>on anyway.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, it ties in beautifully to the show title and

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<v Speaker 4>gorged indeed through it swollen, overblown everything that makes your

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<v Speaker 4>mind going, what's going on here?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, originally what we wanted to do was have the

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<v Speaker 2>word gorge in it like oh that's gorge, Oh that's gorge.

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<v Speaker 2>And then we realized that if we just put engorged

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<v Speaker 2>but capitalize the gorge and then we can get a

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<v Speaker 2>really filthy pun in under the radar, so to speak,

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<v Speaker 2>for the Adelaide Cabaret Fessel, and they went with it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's sort of like when we were at q PAC

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<v Speaker 2>in Queensland that had the ten meter high led screens

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<v Speaker 2>on the side of the building and we had them

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<v Speaker 2>with the K.

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<v Speaker 3>Hole there because no one at q PAC knew what

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<v Speaker 3>a k hole was one.

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<v Speaker 2>So today I've got engaged on the Adelaide Cabaret Festival

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<v Speaker 2>out the front in ten meter letters.

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<v Speaker 1>Well done you. And it's not like you to love

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<v Speaker 1>a filthy pun, is it.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a reason I'm not allowed on live TV anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why I'm on tour so much. It's harder to

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<v Speaker 2>hit a moving target. Yes, I'm so thickly spread across

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<v Speaker 2>this nation. I might as well be systemic racism as.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, particularly with the Eastern States. I don't think they

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<v Speaker 4>can partic identify where Adelaide is. Get Ruben, he's an Adelaide.

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<v Speaker 3>Adelaide can't identify where Adelaide.

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<v Speaker 1>Is Ruben what are we What sort of songs are

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<v Speaker 1>we performing? Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, there's a couple of originals in there, which we're

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<v Speaker 2>very excited about. We have some stuff from some pretty

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<v Speaker 2>niche performers like Amandalier, who is one of the queer

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<v Speaker 2>kind of supermodel vocalists in inverted commas from Studio fifty four.

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<v Speaker 3>Then we've got some Carol king in there. Once.

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<v Speaker 2>I just have to really think because there's a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of songs. It's eighteen musicians that I've got there. I know,

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<v Speaker 2>normally we have different names for the band, So normally

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<v Speaker 2>it's Ruben Kay and the Close Contacts, or ruben Ka

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<v Speaker 2>and the Emergency Contacts.

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<v Speaker 3>This year it's ruben k and the Afterthoughts.

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<v Speaker 2>Because there's eighteen, sorry, because there's eight Did you have

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<v Speaker 2>a dump button?

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<v Speaker 3>I can't find I can't find it. That's that's what

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<v Speaker 3>I was told.

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<v Speaker 2>By a very unethical VET on Hands and Road, and

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<v Speaker 2>I said to him, I said, I won't swallow it

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<v Speaker 2>until you put it in a piece of ham and

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<v Speaker 2>stroke my throat.

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<v Speaker 3>I still can't find.

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<v Speaker 2>The song list is absolutely incredible, as am I. In fact,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think the Adelaide Cabaret Festival deserves to have me.

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<v Speaker 2>We've got some stuff from Amandalier, who's one of the

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<v Speaker 2>old sort of supermodel vocalists in inverted commas from Studio

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<v Speaker 2>fifty four. There's Carol King. We got a bit of

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<v Speaker 2>Whitney in there. We got a little bit of Aerosmith

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<v Speaker 2>in there. We've got some stuff from the Divine Comedy,

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<v Speaker 2>this amazing sort of dramatic and vaguely depressing but very

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<v Speaker 2>sardonic and biting band from the UK.

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<v Speaker 3>And then ah.

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<v Speaker 2>There's this amazing version of this song that your listeners

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<v Speaker 2>are far too young to remember, called If I Ruled

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<v Speaker 2>the World, sung by Tony Bennett. But let's just say

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<v Speaker 2>we've given it the ruben k treatment. My goodness me,

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<v Speaker 2>she slaps.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, gorged it a little bit? Yeah? Are you now?

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<v Speaker 2>I can tell because you're wearing such a short short

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<v Speaker 2>in the morning. What fabric is is that? A is

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<v Speaker 2>that it's like it's like the pants version of a

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<v Speaker 2>sawn off shot done.

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<v Speaker 3>What you're were much they were track pants and you've

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<v Speaker 3>taken a scissor to them.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and under these clothes as well, nothing at all.

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<v Speaker 3>Nothing Now, I am engorged.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't know this show came with a free mealp

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<v Speaker 2>my coach.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my gosh, I don't think the first time in

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<v Speaker 4>my life I'm blushing. Is this what blushing feels like? Yes,

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my god, depends what set of cheeks. Oh imagine

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<v Speaker 4>if you're having a little inappropriate gorge gorged off with

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<v Speaker 4>ruby Kate gorged off, you could go for hours room.

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<v Speaker 3>Have a drain because my mattress has gutters. But this

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<v Speaker 3>is a whole.

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<v Speaker 1>Different thing right now, Ruben, you are incredibly stylish, and

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<v Speaker 1>you've just made reference to Hazes at high. He's incredibly unstylish.

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<v Speaker 1>I would love for you to give him some sort

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<v Speaker 1>of makeover.

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<v Speaker 2>Look. I think it's very unfair to refer to people

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<v Speaker 2>who like heterosect people who identify as beige as and

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<v Speaker 2>don't you laugh, you're wearing it suspiciously off white sweater

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<v Speaker 2>there that feels like it could be oatmeal, champagne or oyster.

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<v Speaker 2>I think every single person is beautiful in what they

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<v Speaker 2>are comfortable in. And if you're comfortable in a torn

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<v Speaker 2>jersey with a coffee stain, you do to celebrate the

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<v Speaker 2>journey you're on.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think you've been seeing the Birkenstocks at this

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<v Speaker 1>point is more sorry that Joe the bottom half please.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh but the calf is good and the macas socks

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<v Speaker 2>with the Birkenstocks real time. But I will say this,

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<v Speaker 2>if you're wearing Birkenstocks, you are immediately part of the

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<v Speaker 2>queer community.

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<v Speaker 3>Really right. That's the b N L G B T

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<v Speaker 3>q A.

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<v Speaker 4>I just toe in if you don't mind, please, we'll

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<v Speaker 4>have to get some lubricant toe and a pedicure.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I've always said I reckon.

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<v Speaker 4>These cars could really clean up if I decided to

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<v Speaker 4>switch over.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually, you should probably tell Ruben what your name auto

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<v Speaker 1>corrects to on a night.

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<v Speaker 3>That's very funny. We spoke about this a couple of

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<v Speaker 3>days ago.

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<v Speaker 4>Rubin and my I'd call myself hazy because my last

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<v Speaker 4>name is Hayes h.

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<v Speaker 1>A y E s y incredibly original auto.

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<v Speaker 4>Correct always towards the end of an email, and he

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<v Speaker 4>signed off autocorrect to gayest, So now I'm gay.

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<v Speaker 3>I really feel like I didn't need that information. I

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<v Speaker 3>felt like you'd already broadcasted and stuff to It was confirmation,

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<v Speaker 3>wasn't it. I mean, that was your confirmation.

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<v Speaker 2>Perhaps say that I love that sometimes isn't it funny

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<v Speaker 2>how auto correct really portrays the truest parts of ourselves.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, who told you?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know what I'm having at the moment. It's

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<v Speaker 2>not an autocorrect moment. But I'm copying a bit of

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<v Speaker 2>flak online, which is fine. You know, you're a queer

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<v Speaker 2>person out there, you gets some flax. But sometimes when

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<v Speaker 2>people send me pretty nasty emails, they're doing it in

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<v Speaker 2>such a hurry that they're forgetting to delete their email signatures.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh oh wow.

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<v Speaker 2>Which one makes it really easy to send it off

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<v Speaker 2>to the police because it's the business.

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<v Speaker 3>Name that's there.

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<v Speaker 2>But also sometimes you get things like they'll say something

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<v Speaker 2>really violent, awful, and then at the end they'll say

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<v Speaker 2>please consider the environment before printing this, or a really

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<v Speaker 2>big thread like something really awful, and then they'll say

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<v Speaker 2>at the end, cheers John.

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<v Speaker 3>God, I love it. It's so camp seem adorable.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it blows my mind when people hurl abuse on

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<v Speaker 1>the internet and it's like, I think you've just abused

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<v Speaker 1>someone and your photos there, and your name is there,

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<v Speaker 1>and your place of work is there. Correct, so you've

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<v Speaker 1>just done that in a public forum. Does it ever

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<v Speaker 1>cut you? Do you ever get upset over it, or

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<v Speaker 1>well I think I used to. Yeah, I think I

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<v Speaker 1>used to.

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<v Speaker 2>And every soften one gets through to the keeper because

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<v Speaker 2>it's just a numbers game, right, you never at your

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<v Speaker 2>strongest one hundred percent of the time.

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<v Speaker 3>But also I think I've found.

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<v Speaker 2>A way to process it by putting it into the show,

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<v Speaker 2>and because they've sent it to me. Yeah, it's not

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<v Speaker 2>like I'm breaching confidentiality by names makes posing names and businesses. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>so if you send me hate attached to your with

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<v Speaker 2>your business, because I'm just like, okay, right, hate is hate.

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<v Speaker 3>Whatever you send it to me, be smart about it.

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<v Speaker 3>Also classic Victorian classic.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I've got a similar situation because we live across

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<v Speaker 1>from a let's just say, a special massage place.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a brothel room. Fantastic, I've got to shift. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>going to go there and pick up chap actually.

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<v Speaker 1>But it makes me laugh when like people pull up

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<v Speaker 1>and it's like Bruce is electrical van, It's like a brand.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, Oh, I think I think those kinds of

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<v Speaker 2>places should not be what's the word I'm thinking of.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh God, I'm having I'm having an aneurysm live on

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<v Speaker 2>the air. Well I don't think those places should be secret,

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<v Speaker 2>and I don't think they should be covert. I think

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<v Speaker 2>sex work is sex work, and if you want to

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<v Speaker 2>go get your needs met, do.

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<v Speaker 3>It bloody proudly.

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<v Speaker 2>You can afford to see a sex worker in this economy,

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<v Speaker 2>Bruce is electrical good.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's got too much money exactly. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>But they're always on the phone too. That's what makes

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<v Speaker 1>me laugh. They're not proud about it. They've all got there.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, See darling, I'm just.

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<v Speaker 4>Just going to a job. I just don't get into specificat.

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<v Speaker 1>Is just picking something up for dinner? Yeah, well are

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<v Speaker 1>you Bruce providing?

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<v Speaker 3>Certainly? You certainly get a mouthful.

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<v Speaker 4>Don't play this game with this man.

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<v Speaker 3>No one, I'm say.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you right now, you two have got dare

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<v Speaker 2>I say the upper hand here because you're used to

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<v Speaker 2>being able to modify and codify language for radio. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>used to doing stuff live where I can be as

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<v Speaker 2>free and easy with my language. So I want you

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<v Speaker 2>to know I have shown so much restraint and control.

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<v Speaker 2>This is restraining version. Wow, we didn't even organize a

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<v Speaker 2>safe word, Reuben.

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<v Speaker 1>The show is called in Gorge. In case you haven't

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<v Speaker 1>got that already. You are larger than life. I've seen

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<v Speaker 1>you and you are just absolutely spectacular, So.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you for having me.

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<v Speaker 2>Both of the shows, the sixteenth and seventeenth, have sold out,

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<v Speaker 2>but we have added a new show on Saturday the

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<v Speaker 2>twenty fourth at the Dunston Playhouse, me eighteen piece Orchestra

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<v Speaker 2>and a party at my room at the inter Connor.

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<v Speaker 3>I could say, no.

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<v Speaker 1>Everything, what room number because of Hazy is going to

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<v Speaker 1>be there?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, five fourteenth that's me. That's me down the hallway

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<v Speaker 3>in the Birkenstocks