WEBVTT - #2035 It's Been A Sh*t Week - Harps 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:02.360 I get a term, it's harps. Who else would it be? 0:00:02.400 --> 0:00:04.640 Welcome to another installing the new project. There's going to 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:07.280 be a little bit different, going to be honest, I 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:09.720 don't know how it's going to go. I don't know 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:12.920 how most are going to go. I guess that's true. 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:17.520 It's just me. It's just me today and I debated 0:00:17.560 --> 0:00:20.480 with myself. Myself and I had a good lengthy discussion 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:24.840 about whether or not I should share with you what 0:00:24.880 --> 0:00:26.680 I'm about to share with you, because I didn't know. 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:29.280 I didn't want it to be self indulgent. I didn't 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:32.680 want it to be on any level sympathy seeking or 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:38.280 attention seeking. But I thought, maybe just me talking about 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:43.320 the week that I've had that hasn't been very fun, 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:47.080 hasn't been very fun. It's been kind of shit. It's 0:00:47.080 --> 0:00:48.920 been kind of shit, but it's been interesting. And in 0:00:48.960 --> 0:00:51.400 the darkness, there's been moments of light. There've been peaks 0:00:51.440 --> 0:00:57.640 and troughs. And you know what I find interesting is 0:00:58.400 --> 0:01:02.200 that for me, all the stuff that I talk about, 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:04.679 which is being able to perform under pressure and human 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:09.720 optimization and being solution focused and controlling my energy and investing, 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:12.000 you know what I have to work with in the 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:16.800 most intelligent, sensible way possible given the context of the situation, 0:01:17.040 --> 0:01:20.200 to produce the best outcomes and the best emotional state. 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:23.840 And all those things are true. They're true. But it's 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:28.560 really interesting when it's happening to me, when the shit 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:30.679 is happening to me, when it's tough, when it's messy, 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:33.600 when it's uncomfortable, when bad things are happening to good people. 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:37.400 Let's hope I'm the good people, and more importantly, good 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:40.960 people that I love and care about. And so I 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:45.680 kind of I waxed and mined about whether or not 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:47.640 I would share this. I don't know whether or not 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:49.400 it's going to be good or great, or bad or shit. 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.200 I'll let you be the judge. You might want to 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:54.760 pull out in twenty seconds from now and go nah, 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:58.400 too deep, too heavy. I'm going to try and make 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:02.320 it as insightful and helpful and relevant while honest and 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:06.040 authentic and vulnerable as I can. I think it's also 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:09.360 good sometimes from the people that we listen to, or 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:12.639 the people that hopefully, hopefully you respect me a little bit. 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:15.200 I guess you might because you listen to my stuff, 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:19.560 But to hear from those people that also sometimes just 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:22.280 have a shit day. And I think when you know, 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:25.840 when people that I looked up to or respect or 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:28.799 learn from have a shit day, I like to kind 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.120 of hear about that in the sense of what's going on, 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:33.800 what did you do about that? How are you now? 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:35.840 And so that's kind of where I'm at now. So 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:40.800 let me start from the start. So it's Sunday one 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:45.440 point fifteen as I record this, and it's over the 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:49.760 last not just weak, but probably it's been a shit fortnight. 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:54.360 But I can't share all of the things that have happened, 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:58.560 just for confidentiality reasons and respect for some people. I can. 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:01.960 I can talk about what's happened generally, some of it 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:06.480 I can talk about specifically, but I just need to 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:11.480 be careful and thoughtful about certain people. But it's fair 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:13.280 to say that people that I love and people that 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:16.360 I care about and people that I'm connected to have 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:22.200 had and are having some real challenges. And you know, 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:26.600 it's sometimes when somebody's going through something that's somewhere between 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:30.840 you know, a bit tricky and fucking horrendous. Let's be honest, 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:35.560 some things are fucking horrendous. Let's just be Let's not 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:39.200 disney it up. Let's not disney it up. Let's just 0:03:39.240 --> 0:03:41.440 be real and raw and go. Some things that happen 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:43.400 to us or around us are to people that we 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:46.600 care about, are really really horrible. And in the middle 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:48.640 of the horrible, in the middle of the horrendous and 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:52.160 the unfair and the unwanted and the uncomfortable, you know, 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:54.800 there we are, There we are, And so for me, 0:03:55.920 --> 0:04:00.600 it's always interesting in the middle of tough thing for 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:03.600 me personally as a notither as a coach or not 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:06.480 as a podcast or an author or a research or anything, 0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:09.640 but just me in terms of me and my own bullshit, 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:12.000 me in my life, me and my mind, me and 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:15.800 my body, me and my energy, me and my choices 0:04:15.840 --> 0:04:21.360 and behaviors and actions and reactions and outcomes. I'm interested 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:24.440 in me. That sounds weird, but I am interested in 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:28.880 how I am when things are going bad, because I 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:32.520 think how I am when things are going bad is 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:38.479 an indicator of how I'm going as a person. Am 0:04:38.520 --> 0:04:42.360 I only good? Am I only positive? Am I only 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:47.680 proactive and kind of the rah rah dude when everything's great? 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:52.360 Or am either guy that can still maintain you know, 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:55.480 those kind of values and that thinking, and for the 0:04:55.480 --> 0:05:00.240 most part, those behaviors and that kind of mindset ten 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:03.680 personality in the middle of the shit, And I think 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:06.520 these are the real challenges. And I think, you know, 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:09.760 when we talk about personal development, when we talk about 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:12.240 self help, when we talk about human behavior, when we 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:16.760 talk about human optimization, when I talk to you about 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:22.440 you getting the most out of you, I'm talking mostly. 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:26.239 I'm talking about when things are hard, when things aren't 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:29.400 going well, when we don't feel inspired, when we aren't 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:33.720 getting good results, when bad things are happening, or unwanted 0:05:33.839 --> 0:05:39.000 or uncomfortable or uncertainty is embracing us, and we find 0:05:39.040 --> 0:05:41.640 ourselves in the middle of stuff that we didn't choose 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:46.520 or want. Like I believe that this is the time 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:50.479 where I don't like the term personal development, but this 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:55.240 awareness of self and this intended development and improvement of self. 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:58.080 So you know what I'm talking about. I guess we'll 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:00.359 call it personal development and growth for the moment, but 0:06:01.800 --> 0:06:04.800 one I'm just thinking, why don't I like that? The 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:07.760 reason I don't love those terms is because I think 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:14.040 they've been productized, commercialized, And so when I talk about 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:17.400 personal growth and development, I'm literally talking about a process 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:21.080 I'm literally talking about a psychological and emotional and physiological 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:25.960 and sociological and maybe spiritual journey. I'm not talking about 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.919 a podcast. I'm not talking about a lecture by Craig Harper. 0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:32.560 I'm not talking about a program or a pill or 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.760 a fucking even a PhD. I'm not talking about that. 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:39.320 I'm just talking about you becoming the better version of you. 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:44.720 That's personal growth, that's personal transformation. That's self help. I mean, 0:06:44.800 --> 0:06:51.080 for me, self help is literally our ability to be 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:58.200 able to consistently and diligently and courageously help ourselves to 0:06:58.720 --> 0:07:01.800 not only survive, but to thrive in the middle of 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:05.560 what can be shit, what can be fucking mayhem and 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:13.800 pain and so friends, this week has been an opportunity 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:16.200 for that. It's been an opportunity for me to grow. 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:21.880 So a friend of mine who I won't talk about, 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:26.400 he knows who he is. He had He's spoken about 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:33.160 this publicly, but I won't just because I don't want to. 0:07:34.000 --> 0:07:36.720 I don't know, I just don't feel that's appropriate. But 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:42.000 you know, he had his son pass away, his twenty 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:47.440 four year old son pass away, you know, and in 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:55.320 which which very recently and which just to me is unthinkable. 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:58.840 It's it's and I can't even begin to imagine what 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:01.120 that is like. You know, I'm not a dad. I'm 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:05.640 not a dad, but you know, dealing with that and 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:09.640 navigating that on a whole range of levels. And his 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:12.720 son passed away in another country and now he's got 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:16.800 to I think the words repatriate the body, bring it 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:18.640 back here and all of that, and so you know 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:21.680 that that kind of and that that was kind of 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:23.720 the first thing that kicked off. And I can't do 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:26.080 anything about that. I can't really help him other than 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:30.320 chat to him, which I've done, and and you know, 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:32.240 he knows who he is. Shout outs him and love 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:36.520 to him and his beautiful wife and the family and 0:08:37.240 --> 0:08:40.800 all of that. But that kind of like I I 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:42.680 think one of the things for me too, is when 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:45.200 there's somebody that I care about that's in pain and 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:49.319 I can't do anything. I know that I'm not anyone's savior. 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:51.800 I get that, but when I can't do something to 0:08:52.040 --> 0:09:00.520 help or to make some kind of a difference, it's it's, yeah, 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:03.200 I feel somewhat redundant. But anyway, that's just me, that's 0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:05.440 just me and my feeling. I'm going to jump around 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:07.960 a little bit. So it's now as I said to you, 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:10.160 I think I said this, it's Sunday one twenty one 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:14.880 now as I'm recording. And I went to Queensland this week. 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:18.720 I went Monday night to do a gig, corporate gig 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:23.000 on Tuesday, so I stayed overnight and when I got 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:26.959 off the when I got off the plane, there was 0:09:27.000 --> 0:09:33.760 a phone call from me from my mum letting me know. 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:37.160 Actually that is not true that there was my mum 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:40.240 had called and missed me. But there was a phone 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:46.360 call from Melissa, who runs my life, who informed me 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:49.640 that my dad had been rushed to hospital. And so 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:53.480 this was Monday. And again with all of this, my 0:09:53.559 --> 0:10:00.280 dad's a really private person and not that for some 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:03.480 reasons that I for that and also another couple of 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:06.600 kind of reasons, I think I can't share it all. 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:10.040 But let's just say that it is a significant challenge 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:15.120 that he is going through. So that was Monday, he 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:18.360 was in hospital. Tuesday, I was presenting, and so I 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:20.760 find out that my dad's been rushed to hospital with 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:27.840 this significant medical issue, medical challenge which is life threatening. 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:31.040 So he didn't break his ankle or break his leg 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:35.600 like it's life threatening. And so then I'm in Queensland 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.520 and do I fly home tonight? Do I Is there 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:41.240 anything I can do? And I'm like, well, no, he's okay. 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:43.680 At the moment, he's in hospital. He's in the best place. 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.760 I can't do anything medically. So then I had about 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:48.839 as you would imagine, Monday night, I had about seven 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:52.040 minutes sleep. If I'm being self indulgent, now, I'm sorry. 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:56.320 I don't mean to be. Just talking about navigating a 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:58.800 messy week. I had not a lot of sleep, as 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:01.320 you would imagine. I got up and then I went 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:06.400 to go and present for an hour to an awesome group. 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:10.080 I won't name them, they know who they are. In fact, 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:12.360 a room full of lawyers, I can say that. And 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:15.840 I thought, oh, this is going to be a hard gig. 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:17.560 This I just thought it would be hard because I 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:20.240 thought I don't know that you know. But that was 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:23.000 my bad, my mistake. They were amazing. They were very 0:11:23.120 --> 0:11:26.240 receptive and towards the end of my presentation gave them 0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:28.760 even gave them a little bit of an insight into 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:31.840 what was happening in my life at that point in time. 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:35.640 And they were nothing but fucking gorgeous and compassionate. And 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:39.800 so that was a really nice little bit of love 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:43.079 and joy in the middle of a pretty hard week. 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:48.760 And then I, you know, I spent I did some 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:51.160 more work, I flew home that night, I got up 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:55.680 early early early Wednesday morning, went straight up, spent the 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:58.400 day in hospital with my dad. And since then it's 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:02.880 just been an ongoing kind of roller coaster of things. 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:05.880 And you know where he is right now. He's at 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:10.120 home right now and waiting for some more tests and 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:13.440 some surgery, and and that's where we are right He's 0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:17.320 not he's not in dire straits right now, but it's not. 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:22.040 It's not great like there is. There are some challenges ahead. 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:25.800 And if the three people that listen to this who 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:30.839 know my parents maybe I don't know how many people 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:32.760 that listen to this actually know my mum and dad, 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:36.040 but but maybe don't ring them panic stricken. If you 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:38.320 hear this and you don't already know this news, that'd 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:42.120 be great. So let's let's not turn up the volume 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:45.160 on the anxiety. And of course, in the middle of 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:50.599 all of this, my mum, God bless my mum. My 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:55.280 mum is a I love my dad, my Dad's a 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:58.040 great guy. My mum is a spectacular human who is 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:02.320 the world's best support system for my dad. And in 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:05.040 the middle of you know that, and you remember, my 0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:07.560 dad is eighty six, by the way, my mom is 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:11.319 eighty six in one month and one day from now 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:16.160 December three, recording this November two, And you know, just 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:19.480 of course the compassion for my dad that I have, 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:23.080 and the care and concern, and me trying to be 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:28.080 everything that I can be practically and emotionally and you know, 0:13:28.160 --> 0:13:33.640 medically and you know, psychologically, just to support him and 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:36.280 them and then do what I can do and talk 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:41.880 with doctors and organize things, but also you know, trying 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:45.520 not to, like I said, turn up the volume on 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:51.160 any anxiety or fear or stress or trauma in the 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:55.000 middle of a traumatic situation. That is a challenge, isn't it. 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:57.280 And so that whole kind of being the calm and 0:13:57.320 --> 0:14:00.599 the chaos. How do I how do I be this 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:04.160 state of equanimity, How do I be that or how 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:06.480 do I enter that state of equanimity? How do I 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:10.040 deal with hardshit and not fall apart? How do I 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:14.199 manage me? So for me, you know, I'm very cognizant 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:20.200 in those moments of what I need to be for now, 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:22.960 and I've been in over my life. Whether or not 0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:26.600 it's good or bad, I think it's good or bad. 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:34.200 I think it's definitely been super integral in shaping who 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:38.240 I am and informing the person that I've become. In 0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:40.640 terms of me being able to deal with hard things, 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:42.880 which is not say I can deal with anything. It's 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:48.280 not say I always respond amazingly. I don't. But you know, 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:52.120 being around people who have been in you know, really 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:55.200 really dire straits, including my training partner who died in 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.680 front of me in the gym, as all of you know, 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:01.080 and many other things. And if you haven't heard that story, 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:05.320 he ended up undying seventeen minutes later, just in case 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:08.240 anyone just panicked. But that was an interesting day, and 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.480 there's been a lot of interesting days like that, and 0:15:10.520 --> 0:15:14.200 so for me, it's been an interesting week. So let 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:16.080 me just wrap up the Dad thing. So he's at 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:19.720 home at the moment, he's with mum, he's medicated. There's 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:23.200 a few things that need to be done and addressed, 0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:31.760 and you know, it's a really challenging and interesting time, 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:35.920 but it is what it is. And so how do 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:39.080 I and I just share this because maybe this is 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.440 of interest to some of you. So what's my thinking 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:46.120 and what's my strategy in the middle of all of that. 0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:54.840 So I try not to invest any energy in the 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:58.840 things that I can't control. I try very hard. I'm 0:15:58.880 --> 0:16:04.080 pretty good at it. I try not to. You know, 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.200 the other day I sat in the hospital for eight 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:09.280 hours waiting to see a doctor, and then eight hours 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:12.600 I didn't see a doctor. And the lovely nurse that 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:16.240 was with us was who was with a million people 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:18.440 and chiming in every now and then, but every time 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:22.640 she was nothing but gracious and apologetic and helpful. But 0:16:23.040 --> 0:16:25.440 it's an overloaded system and it is what it is. 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:34.720 And you know, for me, part of me was getting frustrated. 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:37.520 I guess we could say, not really angry, a little 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:39.640 bit angry, but not that anyone would know that, but 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:43.280 being in the middle of you know, where there's somebody 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:49.040 that you love that's suffering and we're trying to you know, 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:51.800 and he's one of many people in that environment suffering 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:56.240 and being able to try to be the best version 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:59.560 of me for him, for Mum, for the people in 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:04.119 that so that I'm not creating another problem, either for 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:08.280 myself or for anyone in my vicinity. But I am 0:17:08.520 --> 0:17:13.359 hopefully the voice of reason and the emotional state of 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:16.880 calm for people to be around. So I think these 0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:20.960 moments where it's like, for me, that was a real 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:29.439 good test of self awareness and situational awareness and self 0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:34.320 control and self regulation. You know, as I said, it's 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:37.359 like it's easy to be a superstar when everything's going good. 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:41.360 Like what we kind of find out a lot about ourselves. 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:46.199 I think when things are going shit, and you know, 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:51.399 not that life is an ongoing personal development process, but 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:57.480 I think all of us, well, I can't assume, but 0:17:57.720 --> 0:18:01.960 I might guess that a lot of you would like 0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:04.200 to be more resilient, or a lot of you would 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:08.639 like to be able to manage fear and or anxiety 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:11.959 more effectively, or to be able to be calm in 0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:16.560 a crisis, to be the person with the energy that 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:20.880 people want to be around. You know, I've always loved 0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:25.840 the idea of people enjoying being around me, not for 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:29.000 my ego, but just that like, oh I feel calm, 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:33.720 or I feel good energy, or I feel safe or 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:35.960 whatever it is when I'm with Craig. For me, that 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:40.520 is like a massive compliment. And I think if we can, 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:43.679 if we can be a person that people feel safe around, 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:47.639 or comfortable around, or empowered to be around, that's a 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:53.240 great thing. And so yeah, it's it's been an interesting 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:58.080 it's been an interesting time. And in other news, my 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:09.600 training partner, Christian again I can't can I say I 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:13.000 think it? Yeah, I probably can't go too deep either, 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:16.879 but shout out to him, love him. He's had some 0:19:16.960 --> 0:19:22.280 really big medical issues. So I trained with consistently with 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:26.240 a few people, but the Crab Markers, my training partner 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:29.240 that I've been training with forever, and Christian also trains 0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:32.040 with me a couple of times or a few times 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:34.480 a week, along with Johnny, who I'll talk about Johnny 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:38.440 in the moment. So Christian has had some really big 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:46.240 challenges and has been hospitalized numerous times in the last 0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:52.040 actually that's not true twice once which was really really 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:58.800 quite quite serious, very very very serious, and came out 0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:02.440 of hospital, had another, let's just say it, evental episode 0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:06.280 and was back in hospital, and even now things are 0:20:06.320 --> 0:20:10.440 still you know, he's improved, but you know, so there 0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:12.520 was that, and that's been going on, and I've been 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:15.719 trying to be supportive to him. Johnny, who most of 0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:19.399 you know with Johnny is a really great friend of 0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:22.400 mine who had a massive accident seven or eight years 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:26.080 ago now I think, and had a brain a brain injury, 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:30.159 traumatic brain injury. He had a spinal cord injury. And 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:33.160 I started working with him seven years ago, eight years ago. 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:37.040 Sorry post all of that. He wasn't meant to in 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:40.960 inverted commas, meant to live. He was meant, in inverted 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:44.680 commas to be a quadriplegic. I started training him in 0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:48.560 a wheelchair, like I said, eight years ago, and he's 0:20:48.600 --> 0:20:52.640 been training with me ever since. And generally not right now, 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:57.360 but generally he walks and he drives and he's walking 0:20:57.480 --> 0:20:59.520 is with sticks and it's not great. But for the 0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:04.040 guy who's going to be a quadriplegic, it's literally a miracle, 0:21:04.720 --> 0:21:10.080 if not a very very very big achievement. And Johnny, 0:21:11.119 --> 0:21:13.560 and this also happened in the last two weeks. For 0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:16.280 I'll give you a snapshot. He got to burn a 0:21:16.320 --> 0:21:20.320 bad burn on his leg, bad burn and because he 0:21:20.400 --> 0:21:23.560 has basically can't feel anything from the waist down because 0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:27.520 of his injury, he didn't know he was burned. They 0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:33.880 ended up doing a procedure on that to to move 0:21:33.960 --> 0:21:38.359 some of anyway, bottom line is he ended up needing 0:21:39.480 --> 0:21:42.800 multiple surgeries and a skin graft. He's now recovering from that. 0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:46.040 And this is on top of a million other issues 0:21:46.040 --> 0:21:51.080 that he has and limitations and restrictions and in constant pain. 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:56.920 And you know, it's just like, I sometimes feel guilty 0:21:57.240 --> 0:22:04.919 that my life is so easy. But I think, you know, 0:22:05.040 --> 0:22:10.600 being around being around this stuff in the last week 0:22:10.720 --> 0:22:13.200 or two, and I'm always around people who are struggling, 0:22:13.240 --> 0:22:18.240 by the way, not always, but regularly, you know, being 0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:22.760 around people who have real adversity makes me realize I 0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:26.320 don't have adversity. It makes me realize I am I 0:22:26.320 --> 0:22:30.040 am fortunate, and I am blessed, and it gives me 0:22:31.200 --> 0:22:34.320 And this might sound cliche and some people might go, yeah, whatever, 0:22:34.400 --> 0:22:39.040 don't believe that's cool, but it genuinely gives me an 0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:44.720 ever present sense of gratitude and that my life is 0:22:44.760 --> 0:22:49.720 so comfortable, it is so easy that I don't have 0:22:50.160 --> 0:22:54.320 challenges like most or many people have challenges. And even 0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:56.639 the things that I would call problems or the things 0:22:56.640 --> 0:23:00.800 that I would call, you know, issues, are really in 0:23:00.840 --> 0:23:04.480 the context of what goes on in the world and 0:23:04.520 --> 0:23:06.959 in the context of what goes on for other people 0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:13.439 really really minimal. So, you know, being around all of 0:23:13.480 --> 0:23:15.960 the people that I've been around and intersecting, whether it 0:23:16.040 --> 0:23:20.199 was physically insecting or on the phone or online with 0:23:20.280 --> 0:23:22.760 people in the last week who are struggling, has given me. 0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:29.120 It gives me gratitude not only for who I am, 0:23:30.119 --> 0:23:33.920 or for how my life is and how comfortable and 0:23:33.960 --> 0:23:37.359 how blessed I am or fortunate I am pick your 0:23:37.400 --> 0:23:42.000 own word, but also to be able to support people 0:23:42.080 --> 0:23:46.520 who need support. A truly I think part of the 0:23:47.320 --> 0:23:54.400 part of the key to happiness is and this sounds cliche, 0:23:54.400 --> 0:23:57.120 but it's just I don't know a better term, right, 0:23:57.160 --> 0:23:59.000 so I'm going to say it, and I apologize for 0:23:59.080 --> 0:24:02.000 the cheese, but is to have a purpose bigger than me. 0:24:02.920 --> 0:24:06.880 And when I have that purpose bigger than me, when 0:24:07.400 --> 0:24:09.879 and yes, of course I have a business and I 0:24:09.960 --> 0:24:12.680 run workshops, and I write books, and I do podcasts, 0:24:12.680 --> 0:24:16.160 and I make money through sponsors and through charging. Yes, 0:24:16.160 --> 0:24:19.440 there's all of that, and there's so there's a of course, 0:24:19.600 --> 0:24:22.159 I do not deny there's a commercial reality to what 0:24:22.280 --> 0:24:27.760 I do. But away from that there's also stuff that 0:24:27.800 --> 0:24:30.399 I do that I don't talk about much or often 0:24:30.800 --> 0:24:35.800 or need to, that you know, has got nothing has 0:24:35.840 --> 0:24:37.800 got nothing to do with business, and nothing to do 0:24:37.840 --> 0:24:41.400 with money, and nothing to do with any commercial component 0:24:41.480 --> 0:24:44.199 of my existence on any level. And it's you know, 0:24:44.280 --> 0:24:53.680 this week, I've had also to two people who think about, okay, 0:24:53.720 --> 0:24:55.840 I'll just cut through the fucking smoke and mirrors. Two 0:24:55.880 --> 0:24:58.080 people who wanted to kill themselves. You don't know who 0:24:58.080 --> 0:25:00.440 they are, so I can talk about that too, who 0:25:01.080 --> 0:25:06.160 or at the very least, were talking about that out 0:25:06.200 --> 0:25:12.679 loud with me, and how that seemed to them to 0:25:12.840 --> 0:25:18.480 be potentially the best option moving forward. And obviously one 0:25:18.520 --> 0:25:21.240 of these was face to face one of these conversations. 0:25:21.280 --> 0:25:26.720 One of them has been back and forth on the phone. 0:25:28.760 --> 0:25:32.639 And you know, there's been times this week where I've 0:25:32.680 --> 0:25:36.320 been feeling or almost feeling a bit sorry for me, 0:25:37.520 --> 0:25:39.480 and then I would get a message or I would 0:25:39.480 --> 0:25:45.440 get a phone call, and you know, while feeling sorry 0:25:45.480 --> 0:25:47.600 for me in the context of what's going on to 0:25:47.840 --> 0:25:50.240 family and friends, you might go, well, Craig, don't be 0:25:50.320 --> 0:25:53.520 hard on yourself. It's okay to feel that way, And 0:25:53.560 --> 0:25:56.000 you're right, it is okay to feel that way. And 0:25:56.080 --> 0:25:59.320 I don't beat myself up for being sad or being worried, 0:25:59.440 --> 0:26:01.639 or being con or being a bit anxious about my 0:26:02.000 --> 0:26:05.600