1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: I get a term, it's harps. Who else would it be? 2 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: Welcome to another installing the new project. There's going to 3 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,280 Speaker 1: be a little bit different, going to be honest, I 4 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,720 Speaker 1: don't know how it's going to go. I don't know 5 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: how most are going to go. I guess that's true. 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: It's just me. It's just me today and I debated 7 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,480 Speaker 1: with myself. Myself and I had a good lengthy discussion 8 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: about whether or not I should share with you what 9 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: I'm about to share with you, because I didn't know. 10 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 1: I didn't want it to be self indulgent. I didn't 11 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:32,680 Speaker 1: want it to be on any level sympathy seeking or 12 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: attention seeking. But I thought, maybe just me talking about 13 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: the week that I've had that hasn't been very fun, 14 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: hasn't been very fun. It's been kind of shit. It's 15 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: been kind of shit, but it's been interesting. And in 16 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: the darkness, there's been moments of light. There've been peaks 17 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 1: and troughs. And you know what I find interesting is 18 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 1: that for me, all the stuff that I talk about, 19 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,679 Speaker 1: which is being able to perform under pressure and human 20 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: optimization and being solution focused and controlling my energy and investing, 21 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: you know what I have to work with in the 22 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 1: most intelligent, sensible way possible given the context of the situation, 23 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 1: to produce the best outcomes and the best emotional state. 24 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: And all those things are true. They're true. But it's 25 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 1: really interesting when it's happening to me, when the shit 26 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,679 Speaker 1: is happening to me, when it's tough, when it's messy, 27 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 1: when it's uncomfortable, when bad things are happening to good people. 28 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 1: Let's hope I'm the good people, and more importantly, good 29 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,960 Speaker 1: people that I love and care about. And so I 30 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,680 Speaker 1: kind of I waxed and mined about whether or not 31 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 1: I would share this. I don't know whether or not 32 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 1: it's going to be good or great, or bad or shit. 33 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: I'll let you be the judge. You might want to 34 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: pull out in twenty seconds from now and go nah, 35 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 1: too deep, too heavy. I'm going to try and make 36 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 1: it as insightful and helpful and relevant while honest and 37 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: authentic and vulnerable as I can. I think it's also 38 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 1: good sometimes from the people that we listen to, or 39 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,639 Speaker 1: the people that hopefully, hopefully you respect me a little bit. 40 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: I guess you might because you listen to my stuff, 41 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: But to hear from those people that also sometimes just 42 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 1: have a shit day. And I think when you know, 43 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: when people that I looked up to or respect or 44 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,799 Speaker 1: learn from have a shit day, I like to kind 45 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: of hear about that in the sense of what's going on, 46 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,800 Speaker 1: what did you do about that? How are you now? 47 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: And so that's kind of where I'm at now. So 48 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 1: let me start from the start. So it's Sunday one 49 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: point fifteen as I record this, and it's over the 50 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: last not just weak, but probably it's been a shit fortnight. 51 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 1: But I can't share all of the things that have happened, 52 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: just for confidentiality reasons and respect for some people. I can. 53 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: I can talk about what's happened generally, some of it 54 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: I can talk about specifically, but I just need to 55 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 1: be careful and thoughtful about certain people. But it's fair 56 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: to say that people that I love and people that 57 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: I care about and people that I'm connected to have 58 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: had and are having some real challenges. And you know, 59 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: it's sometimes when somebody's going through something that's somewhere between 60 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: you know, a bit tricky and fucking horrendous. Let's be honest, 61 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: some things are fucking horrendous. Let's just be Let's not 62 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: disney it up. Let's not disney it up. Let's just 63 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: be real and raw and go. Some things that happen 64 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: to us or around us are to people that we 65 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 1: care about, are really really horrible. And in the middle 66 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: of the horrible, in the middle of the horrendous and 67 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: the unfair and the unwanted and the uncomfortable, you know, 68 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: there we are, There we are, And so for me, 69 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: it's always interesting in the middle of tough thing for 70 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 1: me personally as a notither as a coach or not 71 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: as a podcast or an author or a research or anything, 72 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: but just me in terms of me and my own bullshit, 73 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 1: me in my life, me and my mind, me and 74 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: my body, me and my energy, me and my choices 75 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 1: and behaviors and actions and reactions and outcomes. I'm interested 76 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: in me. That sounds weird, but I am interested in 77 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: how I am when things are going bad, because I 78 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: think how I am when things are going bad is 79 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:38,479 Speaker 1: an indicator of how I'm going as a person. Am 80 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 1: I only good? Am I only positive? Am I only 81 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: proactive and kind of the rah rah dude when everything's great? 82 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 1: Or am either guy that can still maintain you know, 83 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 1: those kind of values and that thinking, and for the 84 00:04:55,480 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 1: most part, those behaviors and that kind of mindset ten 85 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: personality in the middle of the shit, And I think 86 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 1: these are the real challenges. And I think, you know, 87 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: when we talk about personal development, when we talk about 88 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: self help, when we talk about human behavior, when we 89 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 1: talk about human optimization, when I talk to you about 90 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 1: you getting the most out of you, I'm talking mostly. 91 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:26,239 Speaker 1: I'm talking about when things are hard, when things aren't 92 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: going well, when we don't feel inspired, when we aren't 93 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:33,720 Speaker 1: getting good results, when bad things are happening, or unwanted 94 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: or uncomfortable or uncertainty is embracing us, and we find 95 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: ourselves in the middle of stuff that we didn't choose 96 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: or want. Like I believe that this is the time 97 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:50,479 Speaker 1: where I don't like the term personal development, but this 98 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: awareness of self and this intended development and improvement of self. 99 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: So you know what I'm talking about. I guess we'll 100 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,359 Speaker 1: call it personal development and growth for the moment, but 101 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 1: one I'm just thinking, why don't I like that? The 102 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: reason I don't love those terms is because I think 103 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 1: they've been productized, commercialized, And so when I talk about 104 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 1: personal growth and development, I'm literally talking about a process 105 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: I'm literally talking about a psychological and emotional and physiological 106 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:25,960 Speaker 1: and sociological and maybe spiritual journey. I'm not talking about 107 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,919 Speaker 1: a podcast. I'm not talking about a lecture by Craig Harper. 108 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: I'm not talking about a program or a pill or 109 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 1: a fucking even a PhD. I'm not talking about that. 110 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: I'm just talking about you becoming the better version of you. 111 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:44,720 Speaker 1: That's personal growth, that's personal transformation. That's self help. I mean, 112 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: for me, self help is literally our ability to be 113 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: able to consistently and diligently and courageously help ourselves to 114 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 1: not only survive, but to thrive in the middle of 115 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: what can be shit, what can be fucking mayhem and 116 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 1: pain and so friends, this week has been an opportunity 117 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: for that. It's been an opportunity for me to grow. 118 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: So a friend of mine who I won't talk about, 119 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 1: he knows who he is. He had He's spoken about 120 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 1: this publicly, but I won't just because I don't want to. 121 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 1: I don't know, I just don't feel that's appropriate. But 122 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: you know, he had his son pass away, his twenty 123 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: four year old son pass away, you know, and in 124 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: which which very recently and which just to me is unthinkable. 125 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: It's it's and I can't even begin to imagine what 126 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: that is like. You know, I'm not a dad. I'm 127 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: not a dad, but you know, dealing with that and 128 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: navigating that on a whole range of levels. And his 129 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: son passed away in another country and now he's got 130 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: to I think the words repatriate the body, bring it 131 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 1: back here and all of that, and so you know 132 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 1: that that kind of and that that was kind of 133 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: the first thing that kicked off. And I can't do 134 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: anything about that. I can't really help him other than 135 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: chat to him, which I've done, and and you know, 136 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 1: he knows who he is. Shout outs him and love 137 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 1: to him and his beautiful wife and the family and 138 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: all of that. But that kind of like I I 139 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,680 Speaker 1: think one of the things for me too, is when 140 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 1: there's somebody that I care about that's in pain and 141 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:49,319 Speaker 1: I can't do anything. I know that I'm not anyone's savior. 142 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: I get that, but when I can't do something to 143 00:08:52,040 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 1: help or to make some kind of a difference, it's it's, yeah, 144 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 1: I feel somewhat redundant. But anyway, that's just me, that's 145 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 1: just me and my feeling. I'm going to jump around 146 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,960 Speaker 1: a little bit. So it's now as I said to you, 147 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: I think I said this, it's Sunday one twenty one 148 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 1: now as I'm recording. And I went to Queensland this week. 149 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 1: I went Monday night to do a gig, corporate gig 150 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 1: on Tuesday, so I stayed overnight and when I got 151 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,959 Speaker 1: off the when I got off the plane, there was 152 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: a phone call from me from my mum letting me know. 153 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 1: Actually that is not true that there was my mum 154 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: had called and missed me. But there was a phone 155 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 1: call from Melissa, who runs my life, who informed me 156 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: that my dad had been rushed to hospital. And so 157 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:53,480 Speaker 1: this was Monday. And again with all of this, my 158 00:09:53,559 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: dad's a really private person and not that for some 159 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: reasons that I for that and also another couple of 160 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,600 Speaker 1: kind of reasons, I think I can't share it all. 161 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 1: But let's just say that it is a significant challenge 162 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: that he is going through. So that was Monday, he 163 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: was in hospital. Tuesday, I was presenting, and so I 164 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 1: find out that my dad's been rushed to hospital with 165 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 1: this significant medical issue, medical challenge which is life threatening. 166 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: So he didn't break his ankle or break his leg 167 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 1: like it's life threatening. And so then I'm in Queensland 168 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 1: and do I fly home tonight? Do I Is there 169 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 1: anything I can do? And I'm like, well, no, he's okay. 170 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: At the moment, he's in hospital. He's in the best place. 171 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: I can't do anything medically. So then I had about 172 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,839 Speaker 1: as you would imagine, Monday night, I had about seven 173 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: minutes sleep. If I'm being self indulgent, now, I'm sorry. 174 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,320 Speaker 1: I don't mean to be. Just talking about navigating a 175 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: messy week. I had not a lot of sleep, as 176 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: you would imagine. I got up and then I went 177 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: to go and present for an hour to an awesome group. 178 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 1: I won't name them, they know who they are. In fact, 179 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: a room full of lawyers, I can say that. And 180 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 1: I thought, oh, this is going to be a hard gig. 181 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 1: This I just thought it would be hard because I 182 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 1: thought I don't know that you know. But that was 183 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: my bad, my mistake. They were amazing. They were very 184 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: receptive and towards the end of my presentation gave them 185 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 1: even gave them a little bit of an insight into 186 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: what was happening in my life at that point in time. 187 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 1: And they were nothing but fucking gorgeous and compassionate. And 188 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 1: so that was a really nice little bit of love 189 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,079 Speaker 1: and joy in the middle of a pretty hard week. 190 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 1: And then I, you know, I spent I did some 191 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 1: more work, I flew home that night, I got up 192 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:55,680 Speaker 1: early early early Wednesday morning, went straight up, spent the 193 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: day in hospital with my dad. And since then it's 194 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: just been an ongoing kind of roller coaster of things. 195 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,880 Speaker 1: And you know where he is right now. He's at 196 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:10,120 Speaker 1: home right now and waiting for some more tests and 197 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,440 Speaker 1: some surgery, and and that's where we are right He's 198 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 1: not he's not in dire straits right now, but it's not. 199 00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: It's not great like there is. There are some challenges ahead. 200 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 1: And if the three people that listen to this who 201 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:30,839 Speaker 1: know my parents maybe I don't know how many people 202 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 1: that listen to this actually know my mum and dad, 203 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: but but maybe don't ring them panic stricken. If you 204 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,320 Speaker 1: hear this and you don't already know this news, that'd 205 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: be great. So let's let's not turn up the volume 206 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,160 Speaker 1: on the anxiety. And of course, in the middle of 207 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:50,599 Speaker 1: all of this, my mum, God bless my mum. My 208 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 1: mum is a I love my dad, my Dad's a 209 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: great guy. My mum is a spectacular human who is 210 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,320 Speaker 1: the world's best support system for my dad. And in 211 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,040 Speaker 1: the middle of you know that, and you remember, my 212 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 1: dad is eighty six, by the way, my mom is 213 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:11,319 Speaker 1: eighty six in one month and one day from now 214 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:16,160 Speaker 1: December three, recording this November two, And you know, just 215 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: of course the compassion for my dad that I have, 216 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 1: and the care and concern, and me trying to be 217 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 1: everything that I can be practically and emotionally and you know, 218 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 1: medically and you know, psychologically, just to support him and 219 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 1: them and then do what I can do and talk 220 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: with doctors and organize things, but also you know, trying 221 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: not to, like I said, turn up the volume on 222 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: any anxiety or fear or stress or trauma in the 223 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: middle of a traumatic situation. That is a challenge, isn't it. 224 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: And so that whole kind of being the calm and 225 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,599 Speaker 1: the chaos. How do I how do I be this 226 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: state of equanimity, How do I be that or how 227 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 1: do I enter that state of equanimity? How do I 228 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: deal with hardshit and not fall apart? How do I 229 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:14,199 Speaker 1: manage me? So for me, you know, I'm very cognizant 230 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:20,200 Speaker 1: in those moments of what I need to be for now, 231 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 1: and I've been in over my life. Whether or not 232 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 1: it's good or bad, I think it's good or bad. 233 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: I think it's definitely been super integral in shaping who 234 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: I am and informing the person that I've become. In 235 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 1: terms of me being able to deal with hard things, 236 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,880 Speaker 1: which is not say I can deal with anything. It's 237 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 1: not say I always respond amazingly. I don't. But you know, 238 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 1: being around people who have been in you know, really 239 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 1: really dire straits, including my training partner who died in 240 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: front of me in the gym, as all of you know, 241 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,080 Speaker 1: and many other things. And if you haven't heard that story, 242 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: he ended up undying seventeen minutes later, just in case 243 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 1: anyone just panicked. But that was an interesting day, and 244 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: there's been a lot of interesting days like that, and 245 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 1: so for me, it's been an interesting week. So let 246 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 1: me just wrap up the Dad thing. So he's at 247 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 1: home at the moment, he's with mum, he's medicated. There's 248 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 1: a few things that need to be done and addressed, 249 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 1: and you know, it's a really challenging and interesting time, 250 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: but it is what it is. And so how do 251 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 1: I and I just share this because maybe this is 252 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:42,440 Speaker 1: of interest to some of you. So what's my thinking 253 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: and what's my strategy in the middle of all of that. 254 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 1: So I try not to invest any energy in the 255 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 1: things that I can't control. I try very hard. I'm 256 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:04,080 Speaker 1: pretty good at it. I try not to. You know, 257 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: the other day I sat in the hospital for eight 258 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 1: hours waiting to see a doctor, and then eight hours 259 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 1: I didn't see a doctor. And the lovely nurse that 260 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 1: was with us was who was with a million people 261 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: and chiming in every now and then, but every time 262 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: she was nothing but gracious and apologetic and helpful. But 263 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 1: it's an overloaded system and it is what it is. 264 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 1: And you know, for me, part of me was getting frustrated. 265 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: I guess we could say, not really angry, a little 266 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: bit angry, but not that anyone would know that, but 267 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,280 Speaker 1: being in the middle of you know, where there's somebody 268 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 1: that you love that's suffering and we're trying to you know, 269 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 1: and he's one of many people in that environment suffering 270 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 1: and being able to try to be the best version 271 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 1: of me for him, for Mum, for the people in 272 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:04,119 Speaker 1: that so that I'm not creating another problem, either for 273 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 1: myself or for anyone in my vicinity. But I am 274 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 1: hopefully the voice of reason and the emotional state of 275 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,880 Speaker 1: calm for people to be around. So I think these 276 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:20,960 Speaker 1: moments where it's like, for me, that was a real 277 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:29,439 Speaker 1: good test of self awareness and situational awareness and self 278 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:34,320 Speaker 1: control and self regulation. You know, as I said, it's 279 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:37,359 Speaker 1: like it's easy to be a superstar when everything's going good. 280 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:41,360 Speaker 1: Like what we kind of find out a lot about ourselves. 281 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:46,199 Speaker 1: I think when things are going shit, and you know, 282 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 1: not that life is an ongoing personal development process, but 283 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 1: I think all of us, well, I can't assume, but 284 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:01,960 Speaker 1: I might guess that a lot of you would like 285 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,200 Speaker 1: to be more resilient, or a lot of you would 286 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:08,639 Speaker 1: like to be able to manage fear and or anxiety 287 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,959 Speaker 1: more effectively, or to be able to be calm in 288 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: a crisis, to be the person with the energy that 289 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,880 Speaker 1: people want to be around. You know, I've always loved 290 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:25,840 Speaker 1: the idea of people enjoying being around me, not for 291 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: my ego, but just that like, oh I feel calm, 292 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 1: or I feel good energy, or I feel safe or 293 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 1: whatever it is when I'm with Craig. For me, that 294 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 1: is like a massive compliment. And I think if we can, 295 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,679 Speaker 1: if we can be a person that people feel safe around, 296 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:47,639 Speaker 1: or comfortable around, or empowered to be around, that's a 297 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: great thing. And so yeah, it's it's been an interesting 298 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 1: it's been an interesting time. And in other news, my 299 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 1: training partner, Christian again I can't can I say I 300 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: think it? Yeah, I probably can't go too deep either, 301 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,879 Speaker 1: but shout out to him, love him. He's had some 302 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 1: really big medical issues. So I trained with consistently with 303 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 1: a few people, but the Crab Markers, my training partner 304 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,240 Speaker 1: that I've been training with forever, and Christian also trains 305 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 1: with me a couple of times or a few times 306 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 1: a week, along with Johnny, who I'll talk about Johnny 307 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,440 Speaker 1: in the moment. So Christian has had some really big 308 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:46,240 Speaker 1: challenges and has been hospitalized numerous times in the last 309 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: actually that's not true twice once which was really really 310 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 1: quite quite serious, very very very serious, and came out 311 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,440 Speaker 1: of hospital, had another, let's just say it, evental episode 312 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 1: and was back in hospital, and even now things are 313 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,440 Speaker 1: still you know, he's improved, but you know, so there 314 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,520 Speaker 1: was that, and that's been going on, and I've been 315 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:15,719 Speaker 1: trying to be supportive to him. Johnny, who most of 316 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 1: you know with Johnny is a really great friend of 317 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,400 Speaker 1: mine who had a massive accident seven or eight years 318 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: ago now I think, and had a brain a brain injury, 319 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 1: traumatic brain injury. He had a spinal cord injury. And 320 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,160 Speaker 1: I started working with him seven years ago, eight years ago. 321 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: Sorry post all of that. He wasn't meant to in 322 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,960 Speaker 1: inverted commas, meant to live. He was meant, in inverted 323 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 1: commas to be a quadriplegic. I started training him in 324 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 1: a wheelchair, like I said, eight years ago, and he's 325 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,640 Speaker 1: been training with me ever since. And generally not right now, 326 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:57,360 Speaker 1: but generally he walks and he drives and he's walking 327 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 1: is with sticks and it's not great. But for the 328 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 1: guy who's going to be a quadriplegic, it's literally a miracle, 329 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: if not a very very very big achievement. And Johnny, 330 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 1: and this also happened in the last two weeks. For 331 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,280 Speaker 1: I'll give you a snapshot. He got to burn a 332 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 1: bad burn on his leg, bad burn and because he 333 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,560 Speaker 1: has basically can't feel anything from the waist down because 334 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 1: of his injury, he didn't know he was burned. They 335 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:33,880 Speaker 1: ended up doing a procedure on that to to move 336 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:38,359 Speaker 1: some of anyway, bottom line is he ended up needing 337 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 1: multiple surgeries and a skin graft. He's now recovering from that. 338 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 1: And this is on top of a million other issues 339 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: that he has and limitations and restrictions and in constant pain. 340 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:56,920 Speaker 1: And you know, it's just like, I sometimes feel guilty 341 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:04,919 Speaker 1: that my life is so easy. But I think, you know, 342 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:10,600 Speaker 1: being around being around this stuff in the last week 343 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,200 Speaker 1: or two, and I'm always around people who are struggling, 344 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 1: by the way, not always, but regularly, you know, being 345 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 1: around people who have real adversity makes me realize I 346 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 1: don't have adversity. It makes me realize I am I 347 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 1: am fortunate, and I am blessed, and it gives me 348 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 1: And this might sound cliche and some people might go, yeah, whatever, 349 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: don't believe that's cool, but it genuinely gives me an 350 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:44,720 Speaker 1: ever present sense of gratitude and that my life is 351 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:49,720 Speaker 1: so comfortable, it is so easy that I don't have 352 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 1: challenges like most or many people have challenges. And even 353 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:56,639 Speaker 1: the things that I would call problems or the things 354 00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 1: that I would call, you know, issues, are really in 355 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: the context of what goes on in the world and 356 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,959 Speaker 1: in the context of what goes on for other people 357 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:13,439 Speaker 1: really really minimal. So, you know, being around all of 358 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: the people that I've been around and intersecting, whether it 359 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:20,199 Speaker 1: was physically insecting or on the phone or online with 360 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: people in the last week who are struggling, has given me. 361 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 1: It gives me gratitude not only for who I am, 362 00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 1: or for how my life is and how comfortable and 363 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,359 Speaker 1: how blessed I am or fortunate I am pick your 364 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 1: own word, but also to be able to support people 365 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 1: who need support. A truly I think part of the 366 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:54,400 Speaker 1: part of the key to happiness is and this sounds cliche, 367 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,120 Speaker 1: but it's just I don't know a better term, right, 368 00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 1: so I'm going to say it, and I apologize for 369 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 1: the cheese, but is to have a purpose bigger than me. 370 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,880 Speaker 1: And when I have that purpose bigger than me, when 371 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 1: and yes, of course I have a business and I 372 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,680 Speaker 1: run workshops, and I write books, and I do podcasts, 373 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 1: and I make money through sponsors and through charging. Yes, 374 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,440 Speaker 1: there's all of that, and there's so there's a of course, 375 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,159 Speaker 1: I do not deny there's a commercial reality to what 376 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 1: I do. But away from that there's also stuff that 377 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,399 Speaker 1: I do that I don't talk about much or often 378 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:35,800 Speaker 1: or need to, that you know, has got nothing has 379 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 1: got nothing to do with business, and nothing to do 380 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:41,400 Speaker 1: with money, and nothing to do with any commercial component 381 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,199 Speaker 1: of my existence on any level. And it's you know, 382 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:53,680 Speaker 1: this week, I've had also to two people who think about, okay, 383 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: I'll just cut through the fucking smoke and mirrors. Two 384 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,080 Speaker 1: people who wanted to kill themselves. You don't know who 385 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,440 Speaker 1: they are, so I can talk about that too, who 386 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:06,160 Speaker 1: or at the very least, were talking about that out 387 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:12,679 Speaker 1: loud with me, and how that seemed to them to 388 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 1: be potentially the best option moving forward. And obviously one 389 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: of these was face to face one of these conversations. 390 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 1: One of them has been back and forth on the phone. 391 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:32,639 Speaker 1: And you know, there's been times this week where I've 392 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 1: been feeling or almost feeling a bit sorry for me, 393 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,480 Speaker 1: and then I would get a message or I would 394 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 1: get a phone call, and you know, while feeling sorry 395 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,600 Speaker 1: for me in the context of what's going on to 396 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,240 Speaker 1: family and friends, you might go, well, Craig, don't be 397 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: hard on yourself. It's okay to feel that way, And 398 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,000 Speaker 1: you're right, it is okay to feel that way. And 399 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,320 Speaker 1: I don't beat myself up for being sad or being worried, 400 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,639 Speaker 1: or being con or being a bit anxious about my 401 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 1: I don't beat myself up at all about that. I'm 402 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,960 Speaker 1: not in denial. I'm not pretending that things are good 403 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:15,119 Speaker 1: when they're not good. But I'm very much and I 404 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,440 Speaker 1: don't know. This is not a suggestion or a strategy. 405 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,440 Speaker 1: By the way, don't do what I do. But what 406 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:24,640 Speaker 1: I do is who works for me? Is? I kind 407 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: of ask myself, if not literally, then subconsciously, I ask 408 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,600 Speaker 1: myself this question, and it is, how do I need 409 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:36,120 Speaker 1: to be now for these people? How do I need 410 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:37,760 Speaker 1: to be this week? How do I need to be 411 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 1: in this moment, this situation, this conversation, this phone call, 412 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:45,000 Speaker 1: this dialogue, this interaction at the cafe? How do I 413 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 1: need to be to best help this person? What is 414 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:57,400 Speaker 1: the best use of me for them? What's in my control? 415 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,639 Speaker 1: What is not in my control? So I can't you know, 416 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,240 Speaker 1: it's Sunday, this all started a week, or I can't 417 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:08,280 Speaker 1: go back three weeks and kind of change the future, 418 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 1: like I can't undo anything that's happened to me or 419 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,880 Speaker 1: around me in the last week or two. I can't 420 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,919 Speaker 1: change any of it. I can't click my fingers and 421 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 1: my dad's not sick. I can't do that. I can't. 422 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 1: I can't say three words and all of a sudden, 423 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:28,000 Speaker 1: these people are not suicidal. I can't make Johnny walk great. 424 00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:31,880 Speaker 1: I can't. I can't bring Brat back, my friend's kid. 425 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 1: I can't do any of that. I can't make Christian 426 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 1: my training buddy. I can't. I can't fix his medical issues. 427 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:43,800 Speaker 1: And so what I do is I go, well, what 428 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 1: can I do? How can I love them? How can 429 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:51,120 Speaker 1: I support them? And you know, do I ever get 430 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 1: Do I ever find a bit of space and stillness 431 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,919 Speaker 1: and have have a moment? Of course I do, of 432 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 1: course I do. Am I trying to, you know, bury 433 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 1: it all under, bury all of my feelings and emotions 434 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 1: and reactions under a fucking pile of manliness. No, I'm 435 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 1: definitely not. I'm acknowledging what I feel. I'm feeling what 436 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,879 Speaker 1: I feel. But in the moment, I'm not letting those 437 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:22,919 Speaker 1: feelings or those emotions hijack the moment. I'm not letting 438 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,679 Speaker 1: them hijack what needs to be done and how I 439 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 1: need to practically navigate certain situations and conversations and interactions 440 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 1: with people. Is this a suggestion from me to you? No, 441 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 1: it's not. And so, like I said this at the start, this, 442 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,680 Speaker 1: I don't know whether or not there's any value in 443 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:46,400 Speaker 1: this for you, but maybe this is a little bit therapeutic, 444 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,480 Speaker 1: as I said, But for me, this is really just 445 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 1: me thinking out loud about what's been going on this week. 446 00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 1: And I think, you know, through the middle of or 447 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:07,440 Speaker 1: in the middle of all of this, just trying to 448 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:13,440 Speaker 1: find moments where I am hitting the pause button, getting 449 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 1: away from all of the stuff, all of the conversations 450 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,800 Speaker 1: and all of the interactions, all the people, just for 451 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 1: a moment and going all right, am I looking after me? 452 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,680 Speaker 1: Am I looking after me? In the middle of all 453 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,280 Speaker 1: of this? Am I sleeping? Okay? Am I doing whatever 454 00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:31,320 Speaker 1: I can physically, mentally, emotionally, you know? Am I doing 455 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 1: what I need to do? The other day, I was 456 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 1: sitting with my dad in hospital, and I'd been sitting 457 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 1: there for hours and hours and hours, and in the 458 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 1: upcoming hour there was nothing, to my knowledge and awareness, 459 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 1: there was nothing that was going to happen. Particularly, there 460 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 1: was nothing I could do. He was sitting there with Mum, 461 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: and so I just nicked off and there was a 462 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: gym about eight minutes away from where I was. I 463 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 1: went to the gym, I lifted some heavy shit for 464 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:13,200 Speaker 1: forty five minutes. I may or may not have had 465 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 1: a little sniffle or a little fucking moment. I may 466 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 1: or may not have, you know. And I just got 467 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 1: by myself and I got in my happy place, and 468 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 1: I took a breath, and I took a moment, and 469 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 1: I controlled my controllables, and I did something which is 470 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 1: good for my body, which is good for my brain, 471 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 1: which is good for my mind, which is good for 472 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 1: my emotions, which is good for my nervous system. I 473 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 1: had little forty five minute pattern interrupted in the middle 474 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 1: of the mayhem, and I went back and I literally, 475 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: although nothing had changed, I had changed, situation hadn't changed. 476 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:58,680 Speaker 1: It was status quo. I felt I felt better. I 477 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,880 Speaker 1: was going to say I felt huntbsent better. That's probably lie, 478 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:02,960 Speaker 1: but I don't know. But I felt a lot better. 479 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:07,080 Speaker 1: And what that meant was that just gave me more 480 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 1: capacity to be better for them. I think in the 481 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 1: middle of adversity, in the middle of the the crap 482 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,840 Speaker 1: that comes, the shit week, the shit day, the shit whatever. 483 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:26,440 Speaker 1: It's important that you and I still look after ourselves, 484 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 1: not because we're selfish, not because we don't care about others, 485 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,240 Speaker 1: but because the better that you look after you in 486 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,080 Speaker 1: the middle of the mess and the mayhem and the 487 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:39,640 Speaker 1: sadness and the uncertainty, The better that you look after you, 488 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: The better that you manage your brain and your mind 489 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 1: and your emotions and your body and your energy. The 490 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:47,880 Speaker 1: better that you do that. You know what I'm going 491 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 1: to say, because you know me, you know me, you 492 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,200 Speaker 1: know I'm going to say, the better you're going to 493 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:56,520 Speaker 1: be for everyone else. And that's that's not theory, that's 494 00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,920 Speaker 1: fucking reality. Just if if if you go into any 495 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,760 Speaker 1: stressful situation and before you even get in the situation 496 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,760 Speaker 1: you're a two out of ten, well, how helpful can 497 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:13,360 Speaker 1: you be to those people? If you're physically, mentally, emotionally 498 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 1: operating in a two. It's very hard for you to 499 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,480 Speaker 1: pull a seven out of your ars and be fucking 500 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,240 Speaker 1: Captain fantastic. If I get too scientific at any stage, 501 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 1: let me know, but you know what I'm saying, and 502 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 1: sometimes you know, looking after ourselves, if you're a good person, 503 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 1: if you're a compassionate person. If you're a I love 504 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 1: people lots and want to help people person, and you 505 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,880 Speaker 1: have empathy and you have awareness, and you have compassion, 506 00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 1: and you are one of the people who has a 507 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:51,280 Speaker 1: purpose of serving, and then you're going to feel guilty 508 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 1: because you're a good person. You're going to feel guilty 509 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,400 Speaker 1: looking after you. And I'm going to say to you 510 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:04,920 Speaker 1: that guilt is admirable in a way because it means 511 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,680 Speaker 1: you care. It's kind of noble because it means you care. 512 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:12,880 Speaker 1: It means you're a decent human. But it's completely fucking ineffective. 513 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:17,680 Speaker 1: So fuck that guilty. Feel what you feel, but do 514 00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 1: the thing that's going to look after you. Do the 515 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:21,840 Speaker 1: things that are going to help you be the best 516 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 1: version of you, so you can be the best version 517 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 1: of you for them. I might go and have a 518 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,880 Speaker 1: BEX and I lie down, as Mary says, I don't 519 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,280 Speaker 1: know what a bes is? What is a bex? Does 520 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:44,360 Speaker 1: anyone know? Anyway? Everybody, let's hope that this week. This 521 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 1: is coming out on Monday, November three. For those of 522 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 1: you who listen to this down the track as I 523 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 1: record it Sunday November two, It's coming out tomorrow. Monday. 524 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 1: I hope for those of you who hear this early 525 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,200 Speaker 1: in the week that this is a good week for you. 526 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 1: And if I hope also that if it's not such 527 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,680 Speaker 1: a good week or you're not having such a good day, 528 00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:13,319 Speaker 1: I hope that you got some value from this. Yeah, 529 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: I think this is you know, this is the deal, 530 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,360 Speaker 1: isn't it. It's not getting on here every day just 531 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,120 Speaker 1: go on. Life's amazing, You're amazing. But it's part of that. 532 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,800 Speaker 1: But it's also like, yeah, guess what, Sometimes it sucks, 533 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:28,799 Speaker 1: sometimes things aren't great, but it's it's important that we 534 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:32,360 Speaker 1: try to, you know, be the best we can in 535 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,439 Speaker 1: the middle of all of the ship that that isn't great. 536 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:38,600 Speaker 1: And if we have a day where we're we're off, 537 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 1: or we're flat, or we're not producing good outcomes or 538 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,640 Speaker 1: we're not being the person that we want to be, 539 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,879 Speaker 1: then that's okay as well. That's called being human. See 540 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 1: next time.