Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Where's Your head At?
Speaker 2: Hotline, our weekly show where we catch up with each
Speaker 2: other and connect with you all on our hotline voicemail.
Speaker 3: We want to hear from you, guys, so please send
Speaker 3: your stories, questions, advice or tea to Where's Your head
Speaker 3: at pod at gmail dot com to be featured on
Speaker 3: one of our episodes. I'm Na and I'm Matt.
Speaker 2: Let's jump in. Hey guys, so we are away on
Speaker 2: our summer break. We hope you guys are having a
Speaker 2: beautiful time.
Speaker 1: But our hotline is filling up, isn't it Matt.
Speaker 3: It is you guys. Keep sending your voicemails in. We
Speaker 3: love to hear him. Everyone loves to hear him as well,
Speaker 3: so keep sending him in. We're going to get to
Speaker 3: a couple. Now.
Speaker 2: Let's empty our voicemail. Hello, you've reached Anna and Matt.
Speaker 3: We can't get to the phone right now.
Speaker 1: But please leave us a message on our hotline after
Speaker 1: the beap.
Speaker 3: All right, Our first hotline voicemail comes from Hey, Matt
Speaker 3: and Anna love the pod.
Speaker 4: My worst date story is when I turned up once
Speaker 4: on a first date and the first thing the guys
Speaker 4: said when I sat down was literally, hey, so I really.
Speaker 5: Need to know which political.
Speaker 3: Party do you follow? And yeah, the whole date.
Speaker 2: Turned out to be pretty much an interview, and I
Speaker 2: was like, get me the fuck out of here.
Speaker 3: I would run, would I don't. I don't care for
Speaker 3: politics as much as I probably should, so for me,
Speaker 3: i'd just be like.
Speaker 1: Who do I That's like, imagine.
Speaker 3: If it goes well, you might have seen me from
Speaker 3: some from some of the signs around town. I'm the
Speaker 3: local PM. I'd love you to be my first lady.
Speaker 2: The local PM, p MP, MP, the local MP.
Speaker 3: Imagine that that's.
Speaker 1: An IG's a that's a big red flag.
Speaker 2: And you know what the worst thing about going in
Speaker 2: a first date is when people just like us shot
Speaker 2: firing questions at you and you're like, you start to stress.
Speaker 2: Like I've been on a first date like that before,
Speaker 2: and I was genuinely stressed out from a guy interviewing me.
Speaker 3: Did you pass the interview? Obviously not you're not with him.
Speaker 2: Yeah no, But I remember thinking like, fuck, this is
Speaker 2: like I'm starting to really feel uncomfortable, and like I
Speaker 2: kept trying to switch the conversation around and like ask
Speaker 2: him questions, but it was like quick fire. I couldn't
Speaker 2: get a word in edgeways.
Speaker 3: I'm normally the one talking on my dapes. They don't
Speaker 3: get the word if I'm not.
Speaker 1: Asking questions, do you quick fire people.
Speaker 3: I'm just talking about myself. I fuck you would, all right?
Speaker 3: So the next voice mail on our hotline is anonymous.
Speaker 5: Hey guys, first time cooler, longtime listener. I'm not going
Speaker 5: to disclose what my name is, but I'll get straight
Speaker 5: to the point. I'm twenty nine years old and I
Speaker 5: was out two weeks ago at a nightclub and I
Speaker 5: met this eighteen year old girl ended up taking her home.
Speaker 5: This the second time it's happened with an eighteen year
Speaker 5: old cheek. She just wanted to know what your thoughts
Speaker 5: are on the situation of me being twenty five.
Speaker 1: That's an eleven year difference.
Speaker 3: As long as it was consentual ies like she was
Speaker 3: ready to come back, that's there's nothing wrong. It's a
Speaker 3: fair but ump play on were you eighteen sleeping with
Speaker 3: men that older or interested in men that older?
Speaker 2: I was definitely always interested in older guys, but I
Speaker 2: don't know, eleven years seems like a lot. I mean,
Speaker 2: what's the oldest guy I've gone on a date with
Speaker 2: he was like forty three and I was twenty seven
Speaker 2: or eight.
Speaker 3: Quick mass that's around eleven. That's more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's a bit of an age gap.
Speaker 2: But the thing that worries me when you're twenty nine
Speaker 2: and you're taking home at eighteen year old, it's like,
Speaker 2: you know, people lie about their age, you know, go
Speaker 2: out at sixteen seventeen, you've got your fake high D
Speaker 2: Like obviously you're going to say you're eighteen because you're
Speaker 2: at a club.
Speaker 1: You've met at a club. That's what worries me, And
Speaker 1: I don't know, it just feels a bit icky to me.
Speaker 3: It does. And I remember, like, what are you chatting about?
Speaker 1: Like in the uber home when you're twenty nine eighteen?
Speaker 3: I remember I'm twenty. This was back when I was
Speaker 3: like twenty five. I was out and it was a
Speaker 3: night when like school kids were I was like a
Speaker 3: random part like night, Monday night or something. I was
Speaker 3: out and they were talking. These girls are talking to
Speaker 3: me and they asked me what school I went to,
Speaker 3: And I was like, fuck, I do not remember school
Speaker 3: in what school I went to? So what do you reckon.
Speaker 3: She's there talking about her graduation a couple of months ago,
Speaker 3: and this anonymous guy's like, well, you know, I didn't
Speaker 3: go to school for the last what ten eleven years.
Speaker 2: I think it's a no for me. I'm just gonna
Speaker 2: say it straight up. What do you think would you
Speaker 2: hook up with an eighteen year old?
Speaker 3: I don't know. It depends, like if you would have
Speaker 3: to know they're eighteen, like you said, imagine like.
Speaker 2: They're under But if they're definitely eighteen, would you go
Speaker 2: home with an eighteen year old?
Speaker 3: I wouldn't like them to look young, if that you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, Like they'd have to look.
Speaker 1: Older, they'd have to immature mature.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, there's something icky about it. I
Speaker 2: think I think when you're getting over like that ten
Speaker 2: year age gap.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I just like.
Speaker 2: An older guy with an eight Like if they were twenty,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, go for it, like it is what
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 1: But eighteen, it's.
Speaker 2: Just it's two on the cuss, Like they probably still
Speaker 2: in classes during the week at school.
Speaker 3: You're probably whatever he does for job measured. If he's
Speaker 3: like some sort of trady and he's like rocking up
Speaker 3: to do some maintenance on. Oh fuck, that's not it's
Speaker 3: too much much.
Speaker 2: I remember once so when I was eighteen, I was
Speaker 2: seeing a guy who was twenty seven, which is like
Speaker 2: a pretty big age gap. And I remember he I
Speaker 2: was with him and all of his friends, and they
Speaker 2: were talking about like tax and bills, and it was
Speaker 2: literally going straight over my head, and I remember thinking I.
Speaker 3: Was still dying.
Speaker 2: I was literally like nodding, like I knew what was
Speaker 2: going on, but had absolutely no idea. And I just
Speaker 2: remember thinking, maybe this is too big of an age
Speaker 2: gap because I was so young. So yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: say no.
Speaker 3: Okay. So the next one comes from Jess.
Speaker 1: Is this Jess who's called before him at Nana?
Speaker 4: Is Jess again her time caller. That's okay, you're not
Speaker 4: getting sick of me.
Speaker 1: It's just so fun.
Speaker 4: So I a question. I'm after some advice this time,
Speaker 4: if that's okay for the hotline. It's actually for a
Speaker 4: friend of mine. She was too nervous to send something
Speaker 4: and so I'm doing.
Speaker 2: It for her.
Speaker 4: So she's in a relationship at the moment, like a
Speaker 4: long term relationship, and her partner like they've been together
Speaker 4: for like three years, and her partner is really fixated,
Speaker 4: like obsessed with the idea of like who she stated
Speaker 4: before and if like he knows them, or if they'll
Speaker 4: like run into people at you know, the pub or whatever.
Speaker 4: And so she's just really struggling with this and trying
Speaker 4: to take different angles, like talk to me about it,
Speaker 4: and he's just kind of not budging, and it's making
Speaker 4: things really uncomfortable for her. So I was wondering if
Speaker 4: you guys have any tips or advice on like how
Speaker 4: she can tackle it or if she should even bother
Speaker 4: And yeah, thanks lett me guys.
Speaker 1: Love you, Jess, thanks for calling him for the third time.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 2: I think you should talk to this because I feel
Speaker 2: like this is something that plagues your mind as a male.
Speaker 3: It's okay, So how would I word it? Obviously, everyone
Speaker 3: has a past. Everyone has a past.
Speaker 1: They weren't a virgin, they met you as.
Speaker 3: Much as as much as I spoke, should love that.
Speaker 3: I just think that like, obviously you can bring it
Speaker 3: up like I've It's been brought up in my previous relationships.
Speaker 3: It's brought up a lot. I think it's about making
Speaker 3: it so obviously the guys a little bit not. I
Speaker 3: wouldn't say insecure, you'd say secure, would you say possessive?
Speaker 3: Both possessive? I think it a bit possessive a little bit.
Speaker 3: No one wants to think about their partner. You don't
Speaker 3: want to think about Michael cooking up with other people.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, No one wants to think about that. And
Speaker 3: if someone does, that's probably maybe their fetish they like that.
Speaker 3: But what makes it worse would be actually, like I
Speaker 3: don't know for me, it depends, Like it's some people
Speaker 3: I can I could tolerate them being in the room
Speaker 3: like an ex. I would wouldn't flinch. I know it didn't.
Speaker 1: Work, but specific people.
Speaker 3: Not even specific people, but people that like you were
Speaker 3: like they were like sleeping with or had like a
Speaker 3: one night stand with. I think a bit more because
Speaker 3: this is going to sound I know how I am
Speaker 3: with those sort of girls, which is what like, you're
Speaker 3: not very like you know, you're not being like, you're
Speaker 3: not taking them out, you're not treating one hundred percent
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Like you are, but you're
Speaker 3: not disrespecting them, but they're not you know, you don't
Speaker 3: want to think about your girlfriend going home with like
Speaker 3: a one night stand, you know what I mean, and
Speaker 3: then just going home like I don't know. To me,
Speaker 3: it makes me feel like, oh, like you know, like that's.
Speaker 2: Not But it's not about you though, right, It's about
Speaker 2: everyone has a pass.
Speaker 1: You've hooked up with people I know exactly. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: there's nothing you can do about it.
Speaker 3: I think I don't want it to be slapped in
Speaker 3: my face.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's true.
Speaker 3: But there's some people I can tolerate, Like I could
Speaker 3: tolerate being in the room with a lot of people.
Speaker 3: It's just how they make you feel when you're there.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 2: I guess what it comes down to is how often
Speaker 2: that she's seeing these people who she's hooked up with,
Speaker 2: and I guess that must be making her partner feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: But if it's every once in a while, there's really
Speaker 2: nothing you can do about it, right.
Speaker 3: I mean, if he's shitty, is if he was going
Speaker 3: to work and she was going to work and they're
Speaker 3: there there.
Speaker 2: Look, I think the best thing to do, and my
Speaker 2: best piece of advice is just to reassure your partner
Speaker 2: one hundred percent, tell them that they are the love
Speaker 2: of your life. They are the person you've chosen to
Speaker 2: be with you don't want to be with anyone else.
Speaker 1: Yes, you have a past. You can't change it. There's nothing.
Speaker 2: If there was anything you could do to make them
Speaker 2: feel more comfortable about that, you would, but there's nothing.
Speaker 2: So I think the reassurance thing and just making them
Speaker 2: feel like they are the only person for you.
Speaker 3: How much should she reassure until she goes okay, it's enough,
Speaker 3: do you know me? Because there's a certain amount that
Speaker 3: like she shouldn't do it forever.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean if you're seeing that person and regularly,
Speaker 2: then maybe a bit of regular reassurance is what they need.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's not it's no skin off someone's back.
Speaker 2: Giving their partner a bit of reassurance.
Speaker 3: I completely agree on hundred agree with that. So like, yeah,
Speaker 3: it just means like if you're continuing to do it, it
Speaker 3: would be like you know, and you're like, I've really
Speaker 3: reassured this guy.
Speaker 1: Now, like you probably be like when you get to
Speaker 1: a point where you're like.
Speaker 3: Fuck, Like this guy's got some real insecurities about it.
Speaker 1: When does it become too much? I guess is the question.
Speaker 3: And it depends how he's reacting to it as well.
Speaker 1: There's so many unanswered questions. Maybe we can get just on, just.
Speaker 3: Get the friend on, that would be even better. Look, yeah,
Speaker 3: I I like I said, if you're with him every day,
Speaker 3: it would be a bit like but then you'd have
Speaker 3: to think though it didn't work for a reason exactly.
Speaker 3: And I'm assuming that that girl's not flirting with him
Speaker 3: every day. I don't think it.
Speaker 1: Would be every day.
Speaker 2: I think what she said was like, it's on the
Speaker 2: weekends when they go out, they might see that person,
Speaker 2: maybe find somewhere different to go out, Like, I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't know about anyone else, but I avoid my
Speaker 2: ex's like the play. Like if I know for a
Speaker 2: fact that someone is going to be in a specific place,
Speaker 2: I will literally avoid it. Like there's really no reason
Speaker 2: to be going to the same places as your ex
Speaker 2: unless you are living in a really small country town
Speaker 2: and it's the only place that there is one place
Speaker 2: other than that, Like, you shouldn't be seeing people you've
Speaker 2: hooked up with every weekend.
Speaker 1: I personally don't think.
Speaker 3: I come down to I don't really know this expression
Speaker 3: ship where I amn't really hooked up with people that
Speaker 3: I in my friendship group. Yeah, absolutely, I don't. I
Speaker 3: wouldn't do that, or people that would like be in
Speaker 3: my friendship group or daily life daily life, yeah, or
Speaker 3: through partners, my mate's girlfriend's friends or anything like that.
Speaker 3: People where I know I don't, I don't. I sort
Speaker 3: of just I find my own way, So don't worry
Speaker 3: about that. I find I don't need those reliants on that.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 1: Good luck to Jess's friend.
Speaker 2: We hope that you guys are able to resolve it,
Speaker 2: I mean, keep reassuring him and hopefully you guys can
Speaker 2: overcome it and avoid avoid those places.
Speaker 3: Avoid those places to making feel good. Alright, guys, that's
Speaker 3: all we've got time for. We've emptied a bit of
Speaker 3: our voicemail. As always, there's heaps to get to. Should
Speaker 3: we do it again, Anna, I.
Speaker 1: Think we should.
Speaker 2: We've got a lot in there, so there's still lots
Speaker 2: more to get through. As always, keep sending your voicemails
Speaker 2: to where's your head at podat gmail dot.
Speaker 3: Com or our instagram where's your head at pod Send
Speaker 3: a voice no and we'll get onto it.
Speaker 2: And until next time, guys, Bye bye