WEBVTT - "I'm 30 and I Hooked Up With an 18 Year Old" || HOTLINE

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to the Where's Your head At?

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<v Speaker 2>Hotline, our weekly show where we catch up with each

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<v Speaker 2>other and connect with you all on our hotline voicemail.

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<v Speaker 3>We want to hear from you, guys, so please send

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<v Speaker 3>your stories, questions, advice or tea to Where's Your head

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<v Speaker 3>at pod at gmail dot com to be featured on

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<v Speaker 3>one of our episodes. I'm Na and I'm Matt.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's jump in. Hey guys, so we are away on

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<v Speaker 2>our summer break. We hope you guys are having a

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<v Speaker 2>beautiful time.

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<v Speaker 1>But our hotline is filling up, isn't it Matt.

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<v Speaker 3>It is you guys. Keep sending your voicemails in. We

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<v Speaker 3>love to hear him. Everyone loves to hear him as well,

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<v Speaker 3>so keep sending him in. We're going to get to

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<v Speaker 3>a couple. Now.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's empty our voicemail. Hello, you've reached Anna and Matt.

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<v Speaker 3>We can't get to the phone right now.

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<v Speaker 1>But please leave us a message on our hotline after

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<v Speaker 1>the beap.

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<v Speaker 3>All right, Our first hotline voicemail comes from Hey, Matt

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<v Speaker 3>and Anna love the pod.

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<v Speaker 4>My worst date story is when I turned up once

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<v Speaker 4>on a first date and the first thing the guys

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<v Speaker 4>said when I sat down was literally, hey, so I really.

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<v Speaker 5>Need to know which political.

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<v Speaker 3>Party do you follow? And yeah, the whole date.

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<v Speaker 2>Turned out to be pretty much an interview, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, get me the fuck out of here.

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<v Speaker 3>I would run, would I don't. I don't care for

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<v Speaker 3>politics as much as I probably should, so for me,

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<v Speaker 3>i'd just be like.

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<v Speaker 1>Who do I That's like, imagine.

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<v Speaker 3>If it goes well, you might have seen me from

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<v Speaker 3>some from some of the signs around town. I'm the

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<v Speaker 3>local PM. I'd love you to be my first lady.

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<v Speaker 2>The local PM, p MP, MP, the local MP.

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<v Speaker 3>Imagine that that's.

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<v Speaker 1>An IG's a that's a big red flag.

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<v Speaker 2>And you know what the worst thing about going in

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<v Speaker 2>a first date is when people just like us shot

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<v Speaker 2>firing questions at you and you're like, you start to stress.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I've been on a first date like that before,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was genuinely stressed out from a guy interviewing me.

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<v Speaker 3>Did you pass the interview? Obviously not you're not with him.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah no, But I remember thinking like, fuck, this is

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<v Speaker 2>like I'm starting to really feel uncomfortable, and like I

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<v Speaker 2>kept trying to switch the conversation around and like ask

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<v Speaker 2>him questions, but it was like quick fire. I couldn't

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<v Speaker 2>get a word in edgeways.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm normally the one talking on my dapes. They don't

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<v Speaker 3>get the word if I'm not.

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<v Speaker 1>Asking questions, do you quick fire people.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just talking about myself. I fuck you would, all right?

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<v Speaker 3>So the next voice mail on our hotline is anonymous.

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<v Speaker 5>Hey guys, first time cooler, longtime listener. I'm not going

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<v Speaker 5>to disclose what my name is, but I'll get straight

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<v Speaker 5>to the point. I'm twenty nine years old and I

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<v Speaker 5>was out two weeks ago at a nightclub and I

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<v Speaker 5>met this eighteen year old girl ended up taking her home.

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<v Speaker 5>This the second time it's happened with an eighteen year

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<v Speaker 5>old cheek. She just wanted to know what your thoughts

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<v Speaker 5>are on the situation of me being twenty five.

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<v Speaker 1>That's an eleven year difference.

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<v Speaker 3>As long as it was consentual ies like she was

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<v Speaker 3>ready to come back, that's there's nothing wrong. It's a

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<v Speaker 3>fair but ump play on were you eighteen sleeping with

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<v Speaker 3>men that older or interested in men that older?

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<v Speaker 2>I was definitely always interested in older guys, but I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know, eleven years seems like a lot. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>what's the oldest guy I've gone on a date with

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<v Speaker 2>he was like forty three and I was twenty seven

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<v Speaker 2>or eight.

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<v Speaker 3>Quick mass that's around eleven. That's more.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like it's a bit of an age gap.

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<v Speaker 2>But the thing that worries me when you're twenty nine

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<v Speaker 2>and you're taking home at eighteen year old, it's like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, people lie about their age, you know, go

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<v Speaker 2>out at sixteen seventeen, you've got your fake high D

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<v Speaker 2>Like obviously you're going to say you're eighteen because you're

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<v Speaker 2>at a club.

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<v Speaker 1>You've met at a club. That's what worries me, And

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, it just feels a bit icky to me.

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<v Speaker 3>It does. And I remember, like, what are you chatting about?

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<v Speaker 1>Like in the uber home when you're twenty nine eighteen?

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<v Speaker 3>I remember I'm twenty. This was back when I was

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<v Speaker 3>like twenty five. I was out and it was a

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<v Speaker 3>night when like school kids were I was like a

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<v Speaker 3>random part like night, Monday night or something. I was

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<v Speaker 3>out and they were talking. These girls are talking to

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<v Speaker 3>me and they asked me what school I went to,

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<v Speaker 3>And I was like, fuck, I do not remember school

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<v Speaker 3>in what school I went to? So what do you reckon.

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<v Speaker 3>She's there talking about her graduation a couple of months ago,

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<v Speaker 3>and this anonymous guy's like, well, you know, I didn't

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<v Speaker 3>go to school for the last what ten eleven years.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's a no for me. I'm just gonna

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<v Speaker 2>say it straight up. What do you think would you

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<v Speaker 2>hook up with an eighteen year old?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know. It depends, like if you would have

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<v Speaker 3>to know they're eighteen, like you said, imagine like.

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<v Speaker 2>They're under But if they're definitely eighteen, would you go

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<v Speaker 2>home with an eighteen year old?

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<v Speaker 3>I wouldn't like them to look young, if that you

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<v Speaker 3>know what I mean, Like they'd have to look.

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<v Speaker 1>Older, they'd have to immature mature.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't know, there's something icky about it. I

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<v Speaker 2>think I think when you're getting over like that ten

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<v Speaker 2>year age gap.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, Like I just like.

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<v Speaker 2>An older guy with an eight Like if they were twenty,

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<v Speaker 2>I'd be like, go for it, like it is what

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<v Speaker 2>it is.

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<v Speaker 1>But eighteen, it's.

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<v Speaker 2>Just it's two on the cuss, Like they probably still

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<v Speaker 2>in classes during the week at school.

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<v Speaker 3>You're probably whatever he does for job measured. If he's

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<v Speaker 3>like some sort of trady and he's like rocking up

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<v Speaker 3>to do some maintenance on. Oh fuck, that's not it's

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<v Speaker 3>too much much.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember once so when I was eighteen, I was

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<v Speaker 2>seeing a guy who was twenty seven, which is like

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<v Speaker 2>a pretty big age gap. And I remember he I

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<v Speaker 2>was with him and all of his friends, and they

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<v Speaker 2>were talking about like tax and bills, and it was

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<v Speaker 2>literally going straight over my head, and I remember thinking I.

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<v Speaker 3>Was still dying.

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<v Speaker 2>I was literally like nodding, like I knew what was

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<v Speaker 2>going on, but had absolutely no idea. And I just

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<v Speaker 2>remember thinking, maybe this is too big of an age

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<v Speaker 2>gap because I was so young. So yeah, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 2>say no.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay. So the next one comes from Jess.

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<v Speaker 1>Is this Jess who's called before him at Nana?

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<v Speaker 4>Is Jess again her time caller. That's okay, you're not

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<v Speaker 4>getting sick of me.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just so fun.

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<v Speaker 4>So I a question. I'm after some advice this time,

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<v Speaker 4>if that's okay for the hotline. It's actually for a

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<v Speaker 4>friend of mine. She was too nervous to send something

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<v Speaker 4>and so I'm doing.

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<v Speaker 2>It for her.

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<v Speaker 4>So she's in a relationship at the moment, like a

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<v Speaker 4>long term relationship, and her partner like they've been together

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<v Speaker 4>for like three years, and her partner is really fixated,

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<v Speaker 4>like obsessed with the idea of like who she stated

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<v Speaker 4>before and if like he knows them, or if they'll

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<v Speaker 4>like run into people at you know, the pub or whatever.

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<v Speaker 4>And so she's just really struggling with this and trying

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<v Speaker 4>to take different angles, like talk to me about it,

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<v Speaker 4>and he's just kind of not budging, and it's making

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<v Speaker 4>things really uncomfortable for her. So I was wondering if

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<v Speaker 4>you guys have any tips or advice on like how

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<v Speaker 4>she can tackle it or if she should even bother

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<v Speaker 4>And yeah, thanks lett me guys.

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<v Speaker 1>Love you, Jess, thanks for calling him for the third time.

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<v Speaker 4>Now.

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<v Speaker 2>I think you should talk to this because I feel

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<v Speaker 2>like this is something that plagues your mind as a male.

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<v Speaker 3>It's okay, So how would I word it? Obviously, everyone

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<v Speaker 3>has a past. Everyone has a past.

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<v Speaker 1>They weren't a virgin, they met you as.

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<v Speaker 3>Much as as much as I spoke, should love that.

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<v Speaker 3>I just think that like, obviously you can bring it

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<v Speaker 3>up like I've It's been brought up in my previous relationships.

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<v Speaker 3>It's brought up a lot. I think it's about making

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<v Speaker 3>it so obviously the guys a little bit not. I

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<v Speaker 3>wouldn't say insecure, you'd say secure, would you say possessive?

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<v Speaker 3>Both possessive? I think it a bit possessive a little bit.

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<v Speaker 3>No one wants to think about their partner. You don't

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<v Speaker 3>want to think about Michael cooking up with other people.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, No one wants to think about that. And

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<v Speaker 3>if someone does, that's probably maybe their fetish they like that.

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<v Speaker 3>But what makes it worse would be actually, like I

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<v Speaker 3>don't know for me, it depends, Like it's some people

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<v Speaker 3>I can I could tolerate them being in the room

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<v Speaker 3>like an ex. I would wouldn't flinch. I know it didn't.

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<v Speaker 1>Work, but specific people.

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<v Speaker 3>Not even specific people, but people that like you were

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<v Speaker 3>like they were like sleeping with or had like a

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<v Speaker 3>one night stand with. I think a bit more because

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<v Speaker 3>this is going to sound I know how I am

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<v Speaker 3>with those sort of girls, which is what like, you're

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<v Speaker 3>not very like you know, you're not being like, you're

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<v Speaker 3>not taking them out, you're not treating one hundred percent

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<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean? Like you are, but you're

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<v Speaker 3>not disrespecting them, but they're not you know, you don't

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<v Speaker 3>want to think about your girlfriend going home with like

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<v Speaker 3>a one night stand, you know what I mean, and

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<v Speaker 3>then just going home like I don't know. To me,

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<v Speaker 3>it makes me feel like, oh, like you know, like that's.

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<v Speaker 2>Not But it's not about you though, right, It's about

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<v Speaker 2>everyone has a pass.

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<v Speaker 1>You've hooked up with people I know exactly. Yeah, like

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<v Speaker 1>there's nothing you can do about it.

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<v Speaker 3>I think I don't want it to be slapped in

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<v Speaker 3>my face.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah that's true.

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<v Speaker 3>But there's some people I can tolerate, Like I could

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<v Speaker 3>tolerate being in the room with a lot of people.

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<v Speaker 3>It's just how they make you feel when you're there.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess what it comes down to is how often

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<v Speaker 2>that she's seeing these people who she's hooked up with,

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<v Speaker 2>and I guess that must be making her partner feel uncomfortable.

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<v Speaker 2>But if it's every once in a while, there's really

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<v Speaker 2>nothing you can do about it, right.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, if he's shitty, is if he was going

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<v Speaker 3>to work and she was going to work and they're

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<v Speaker 3>there there.

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<v Speaker 2>Look, I think the best thing to do, and my

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<v Speaker 2>best piece of advice is just to reassure your partner

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<v Speaker 2>one hundred percent, tell them that they are the love

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<v Speaker 2>of your life. They are the person you've chosen to

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<v Speaker 2>be with you don't want to be with anyone else.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, you have a past. You can't change it. There's nothing.

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<v Speaker 2>If there was anything you could do to make them

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<v Speaker 2>feel more comfortable about that, you would, but there's nothing.

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<v Speaker 2>So I think the reassurance thing and just making them

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<v Speaker 2>feel like they are the only person for you.

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<v Speaker 3>How much should she reassure until she goes okay, it's enough,

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<v Speaker 3>do you know me? Because there's a certain amount that

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<v Speaker 3>like she shouldn't do it forever.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean if you're seeing that person and regularly,

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<v Speaker 2>then maybe a bit of regular reassurance is what they need.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's not it's no skin off someone's back.

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<v Speaker 2>Giving their partner a bit of reassurance.

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<v Speaker 3>I completely agree on hundred agree with that. So like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>it just means like if you're continuing to do it, it

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<v Speaker 3>would be like you know, and you're like, I've really

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<v Speaker 3>reassured this guy.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, like you probably be like when you get to

0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:21.000
<v Speaker 1>a point where you're like.

0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:23.600
<v Speaker 3>Fuck, Like this guy's got some real insecurities about it.

0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:26.120
<v Speaker 1>When does it become too much? I guess is the question.

0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:28.880
<v Speaker 3>And it depends how he's reacting to it as well.

0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:32.280
<v Speaker 1>There's so many unanswered questions. Maybe we can get just on, just.

0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:35.080
<v Speaker 3>Get the friend on, that would be even better. Look, yeah,

0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:38.120
<v Speaker 3>I I like I said, if you're with him every day,

0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:40.720
<v Speaker 3>it would be a bit like but then you'd have

0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:43.599
<v Speaker 3>to think though it didn't work for a reason exactly.

0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:45.960
<v Speaker 3>And I'm assuming that that girl's not flirting with him

0:10:45.960 --> 0:10:47.040
<v Speaker 3>every day. I don't think it.

0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:47.640
<v Speaker 1>Would be every day.

0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:49.480
<v Speaker 2>I think what she said was like, it's on the

0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:52.079
<v Speaker 2>weekends when they go out, they might see that person,

0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:55.920
<v Speaker 2>maybe find somewhere different to go out, Like, I mean,

0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:58.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't know about anyone else, but I avoid my

0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:00.680
<v Speaker 2>ex's like the play. Like if I know for a

0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:03.280
<v Speaker 2>fact that someone is going to be in a specific place,

0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:06.480
<v Speaker 2>I will literally avoid it. Like there's really no reason

0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.640
<v Speaker 2>to be going to the same places as your ex

0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:11.160
<v Speaker 2>unless you are living in a really small country town

0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:14.120
<v Speaker 2>and it's the only place that there is one place

0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:17.000
<v Speaker 2>other than that, Like, you shouldn't be seeing people you've

0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:18.320
<v Speaker 2>hooked up with every weekend.

0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:19.720
<v Speaker 1>I personally don't think.

0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:23.000
<v Speaker 3>I come down to I don't really know this expression

0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:25.320
<v Speaker 3>ship where I amn't really hooked up with people that

0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:28.560
<v Speaker 3>I in my friendship group. Yeah, absolutely, I don't. I

0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:31.360
<v Speaker 3>wouldn't do that, or people that would like be in

0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:34.360
<v Speaker 3>my friendship group or daily life daily life, yeah, or

0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:37.600
<v Speaker 3>through partners, my mate's girlfriend's friends or anything like that.

0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.440
<v Speaker 3>People where I know I don't, I don't. I sort

0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:44.960
<v Speaker 3>of just I find my own way, So don't worry

0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:48.000
<v Speaker 3>about that. I find I don't need those reliants on that.

0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:48.280
<v Speaker 2>Well.

0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:49.640
<v Speaker 1>Good luck to Jess's friend.

0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:52.480
<v Speaker 2>We hope that you guys are able to resolve it,

0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:55.320
<v Speaker 2>I mean, keep reassuring him and hopefully you guys can

0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:58.920
<v Speaker 2>overcome it and avoid avoid those places.

0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:01.520
<v Speaker 3>Avoid those places to making feel good. Alright, guys, that's

0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:03.760
<v Speaker 3>all we've got time for. We've emptied a bit of

0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:06.959
<v Speaker 3>our voicemail. As always, there's heaps to get to. Should

0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:08.000
<v Speaker 3>we do it again, Anna, I.

0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:08.520
<v Speaker 1>Think we should.

0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:11.360
<v Speaker 2>We've got a lot in there, so there's still lots

0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:15.359
<v Speaker 2>more to get through. As always, keep sending your voicemails

0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:18.320
<v Speaker 2>to where's your head at podat gmail dot.

0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:21.000
<v Speaker 3>Com or our instagram where's your head at pod Send

0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:22.600
<v Speaker 3>a voice no and we'll get onto it.

0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:28.640
<v Speaker 2>And until next time, guys, Bye bye