WEBVTT - Edwina Bartholomew on the year that put everything into perspective 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:09.960 Hello, and welcome to Something to Talk About, the Stellar podcast. 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:12.840 I'm Sarah La Marquin to your host, and every week 0:00:12.920 --> 0:00:14.760 I sit down with some of the biggest names in 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:18.120 the country because when Australia's celebrities are ready to talk, 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:21.920 they come to Something to talk about. As a breakfast 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:25.920 TV presenter on Sunrise, Aduena Bartholomew is used to bringing 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:30.000 Australians the news each day. But one morning a few 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:34.080 months ago, she shared some very personal and very confronting 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:37.040 news live on air when she revealed that she'd been 0:00:37.080 --> 0:00:39.680 diagnosed with chronic Mylloyd leukemia. 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:43.120 It's not great news, not a panda story. To finish 0:00:43.120 --> 0:00:47.519 the bulletin, I have been diagnosed with cancer. That's a 0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:49.199 shock to say and hard to say, but it's a 0:00:49.240 --> 0:00:50.000 really good come. 0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:53.400 It was an announcement that sparked hundreds of headlines over 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:55.200 the following days and weeks. 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:57.240 And so I made it really clear that the reason 0:00:57.280 --> 0:01:00.840 that I was speaking about it publicly was because I 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:03.639 genuinely thought that it could help people in terms of 0:01:04.680 --> 0:01:07.319 just going to doctor getting a health check, not just women, 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:13.240 everyone and that was amazing because I didn't just hear 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:17.679 from people initially when I made the announcement, who were 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:22.080 you know? Sending good thoughts my way? And then over 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:25.319 the coming days and weeks heard from so many people 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:30.800 who had gone to get checked, and that was really gratifying. 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:34.600 Today, sitting down with me, there's something to talk about. Studio. 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:38.320 Duena admits that she's still struggling to process the fact 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:41.640 she has cancer. But as I'm sure she would want 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:44.959 me to assure you, this is not a morbid conversation. 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:49.000 It is often raw and emotional, but also hopeful and 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:52.200 filled with lessons A Duenna's diagnosis has taught her that 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:55.840 I believe all of us can learn from. She also 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:58.200 recalls what it was like to break the news to 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:01.160 her parents and why she chose not to tell her 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:05.320 young children about her diagnosis, and her advice to anyone 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:07.960 listening who feels like they are far too busy to 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:12.600 take care of themselves. And as this truly life changing 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:15.919 year for a Duena draws to a close, her unexpected 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:18.959 answer when asked if she would go through it all again, 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:23.280 Aduena Bartholemey, Welcome back to the Stellar podcast. 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:25.720 Sarah, thank you for having me back so soon. 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:29.040 It has been soon. It was actually April of this year. 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:33.160 That you were last year with me Duena and we 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:36.519 had an amazing conversation was one of our most popular 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:39.320 episodes of this year. One of the things that we 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:41.760 talked about in the course of our conversation was that 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:45.480 because you'd recently turned forty, you were becoming a lot 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:51.520 more conscious of your health. And then of course this year, Bam, 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:57.519 you have had quite the year and a diagnosis, of course, 0:02:57.560 --> 0:03:01.720 of chronic my lloyd leukemia. Eddie. I know it's not 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:05.000 something that you like really talking about it, but you 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:08.440 have been very gracious and generous with your story, and 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:11.760 I know also that you feel very strongly that yours 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:14.799 is a positive story, and you're very conscious of all 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.960 of the people that watch you every morning and that 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:19.919 are listening to this and reading this piece, that are 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:24.120 dealing with their own journeys, much of them, in your words, 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:26.040 probably a lot more difficult. 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:28.960 It really feels like a full circle moment to be 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:31.840 sitting back here and talking to you, Sarah, because it 0:03:32.080 --> 0:03:37.680 was that very conversation and that podcast and the article 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:40.920 that I wrote for Stella. I actually kind of lied 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:43.680 to you because you asked me what I was doing 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:46.120 for my health, and I okay for you a very 0:03:46.160 --> 0:03:50.240 generic answer about you know, I'm going for by cries 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:53.000 and I'm taking time out and I'm taking some me time. 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:57.080 And the reality was I wasn't doing really any of that. 0:03:57.880 --> 0:04:00.560 And I wrote this article for Stella, my regular column, 0:04:00.560 --> 0:04:03.200 about a health scare that i'd had I'd found a 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:05.280 lump in my breast and how I'd gone to get 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:07.680 it checked out, and how it was all fine, but 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:12.120 what a great reminder to mums and busy women everywhere 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:15.800 to keep an eye on their health. And then literally 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:18.600 you sent it to me to check and I checked 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:20.400 it over and it was all fine, and it was 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:24.440 being published that week and I had to call and say, 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:30.080 you can't publish it because it's not all okay. And 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:33.200 that was the week that I found out I have leukemia. 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:36.599 And even now saying it out loud, it's a shock 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:40.040 to the system, even though I've had months and months 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:45.200 to process it. Now and as you say it's a 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:48.279 positive outcome, I will be okay, But it's still cancer. 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:52.479 And that word sticks and shocks, doesn't it when you 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:55.039 say it out loud? But yeah, it was very much 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:59.000 a result of writing that piece for Stella and turning 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:02.480 that focus on my health, that I've ended up in 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:07.279 this situation and that it's ended up being a positive 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:13.640 outcome because I think I caught this particular condition, chronic 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:17.120 Mylloyd leukemia, within maybe a month or two of having it, 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:22.520 which puts me in an extremely lucky category when it 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:25.600 comes to people with leukemia. 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:30.880 As you say, duino, canoni imagine words like leukemia, words 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:35.159 like cancer? They're so confronting. We all know that there's 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:40.120 arguably very few more emotive words in the English language. 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:42.560 Can you tell me a little bit about how you 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:46.480 first felt when you first heard those words, and were 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:51.279 the words chronic my Lloyd leukemia anything that was even 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:54.520 something you were aware of, because certainly the awareness that 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:57.320 you have brought to this, there's actually lots of articles 0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:59.640 out there now about what is this condition? I have 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:03.120 to I hadn't heard of it prior to your diagnosis. 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:03.839 What about you? 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:06.400 I had not heard of it at all. I'd obviously 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:10.200 heard the word leukemia and that can be a huge 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:16.280 spectrum of conditions, and thankfully CML is on the end 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:20.520 that's now a chronic condition as opposed to terminal. But yeah, 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:23.240 I'll take you back to the doctor's surgery. I have 0:06:23.279 --> 0:06:26.400 a wonderful doctor of female GP, very focused on a 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:28.479 women's health, and she'd set me off to do all 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:31.280 his tests and one of them came back slightly irregular 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:33.920 and she said, you know, do you have an infection? 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:35.760 Have you been one well? And I said, look, I've 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:37.320 got you know, a two and a four year old. 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:40.000 I've always got something floating around my system. And she said, 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:42.960 maybe just go and do that one test again. And 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:46.000 it took me about a month to do that, as 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:47.799 with so many of us, you know, there's other stuff 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:51.560 going on. So I finally went and then she called 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:54.039 me that night quite late. I was already asleep. She said, 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:56.680 are you feeling okay? And I said I'm fine. She said, well, 0:06:56.839 --> 0:06:59.480 maybe you should come in tomorrow. And then the next 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:02.040 day the doctor surgery called and said when you come 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:05.600 in you should bring someone with you. And that's never 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:07.880 a good thing. That's a never good thing to hear. 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:10.760 And so thankfully my husband, who lives outside of Sydney 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:13.040 was here at that time and I called him and 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:16.720 I said, can you come with me? And so we 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.200 were sitting there and she told. 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:20.360 Me, you have. 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:23.920 We need to confirm it but we believe that you 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:28.520 have a condition called chronic my Lloyd leukemia. It was 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:30.760 like a scene from a movie, you know when you 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:36.400 see those people sort of take that gasp of air 0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:41.080 that you know, like you when you say it out 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:43.360 loud for the first time. And I was lucky to 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:45.240 be able to call a friend of mine who runs 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:49.040 a cancer charity and ask her advice. And I called 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:55.880 her and I said I have cancer. And that was 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:01.480 an incredibly confronting phone call to make, and I called 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:04.160 her before I called my family, and we drove from 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.000 the doctor straight to tell my parents. 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:10.080 So yeah, that was the hardest. 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:13.320 Bit telling people. But we knew very soon after that 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:14.640 the outcome would. 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:17.160 Be really good. 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:21.160 So it was a weird mix of emotions because you 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:24.200 have cancer, you have something called CML, you're navigating what 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:27.160 that is and you're trying not to google the symptoms 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:29.280 and the outcome. But at the same time you know 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:34.200 that you are extraordinarily lucky. So I think in the 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:37.160 initial stages, I was fully focused on being very chipper 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:41.040 about having cancer. And since then, the emotions have definitely 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:43.720 gone up and down, and I've sort of dealt with it. 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:48.240 And yeah, I mean I feel okay about it. The 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:53.600 really interesting thing is for me, I haven't had the 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:58.479 trauma of something like chemotherapy or even going to hospital, 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:02.360 to be admit, and I'm so conscious that so many 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:06.920 people reading this and listening to this have gone through 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:12.600 that journey and it doesn't necessarily end well. So I 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:17.240 constantly have everyone who has cancer in my thoughts when 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:22.000 I say something like this. I didn't have the trauma, 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:25.920 but I was able to have that extraordinary change of 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:33.760 perspective that something like this affords you or forces you into, 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:39.040 I suppose. So that's been a wonderful outcome in that 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:43.440 you just suddenly become hyper focused on all the things 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:47.200 that are really actually important in life. And that's been 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:51.560 a wonderful takeaway from what's been a fairly turbulent few months. 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:54.360 And that is very much something that I'd love to 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:57.880 talk to about further today, is about that change of 0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:01.080 perspective and why I did to come back to the 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:05.040 podcast studio twice within a relatively short time, especially as 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:06.720 we reach the end of the year and a lot 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:09.280 of people are reflecting on the year that was and 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:12.320 the lessons that we've learned, and obviously you have a 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:16.120 lot to impart there. But before we come to that, 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:18.520 do you mind if I go back then when you 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:22.439 and Neil left the doctors after you received your diagnosis, 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.400 and you then went and told your family, your parents. 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:30.280 It's always very difficult, I imagine for a parent to 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:34.680 hear their child tell them a diagnosis like that. How 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:37.959 did they cope? 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:41.400 Yeah, Actually watching dad find out was probably harder than 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:43.640 watching mum, because you know, I think dads are often 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:47.440 quite stoic, aren't they. So yeah, it was really emotional. 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:51.360 I think the biggest thing for me is I didn't 0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:54.080 have to tell my kids, so I was able to 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.520 explain to Mum and Dad the nuts and bolts and 0:10:56.520 --> 0:11:00.680 the practicalities of it and what would happen the treatment 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:04.480 and all of those things straight up, and that I 0:11:04.520 --> 0:11:06.640 had to have a biopsy to confirm it and all 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:13.040 the kind of yeah, just the practicalities of it. And 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:15.360 they're fairly pragmatic people, and so we were able to 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:17.440 have it. You know, it was really emotional discussion, but 0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:20.280 also they could see that it wasn't the end of 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:24.000 the world and that I was going to be okay. 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:28.680 And then because my kids are two and four, I 0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:31.520 never had to have the conversation with them, which is 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:36.960 such a huge relief. So for them, there's no physical difference. 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:40.960 They don't you know, I'm actually probably feeling better than 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.840 I was previously, not as tired, and taking care of 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:46.680 myself better. So for them, there's only a plus side 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:49.680 because I'm around more and probably more present than I 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:54.320 was before as well deliberately and so thankfully I didn't 0:11:54.360 --> 0:12:00.520 have to I didn't have to tell them, but because 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.600 I knew that I wanted to share it publicly, I 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:06.480 wanted to make sure that I spoke to everyone in 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:10.280 my life before they found out via the TV. So 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:12.920 that was probably a challenging few weeks. Just calling people 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:15.440 and catching up with people. Joyous in some ways because 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:18.000 it's just nice to see people and nice to see 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:22.120 how people care, but that was challenging to say it 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:24.000 out loud, and then you know, I have to explain 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:27.760 the process. And I've never understood what it's like to 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:32.600 be in people's thoughts and prayers, but now I do. 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:34.120 It's a pretty powerful thing. 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:38.320 What is it like to be in people's thoughts and prayers? 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:42.160 It's really beautiful, you know, it's really just it was 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:48.000 just so lovely. I heard from thousands of people, thousands, 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:53.520 and I tried to get back to everyone. People were 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:59.280 just so kind, so kind in sharing their own stories, 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:08.040 so gracious in sharing their own battles, the way that 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:12.560 their lives had changed. It was really beautiful, and I 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:17.000 heard from people all over the world. It was quite unbelievable. 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:23.000 But you know the power of that is it's hard 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:27.760 to quantify what that means to someone, and anyone who's 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:30.520 gone through a health battle like that, or have a 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:36.160 family member that have gone through something similar will understand. 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:42.000 It's just it's wondrous, really. And what was also amazing 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:45.000 is that the reason I wanted to speak so publicly 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:47.680 about it was because I just felt that it could 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:51.040 really help people, because I had no symptoms and no 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:53.800 indication that I was sick, And so I made it 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:56.559 really clear that the reason that I was speaking about 0:13:56.559 --> 0:14:00.560 it publicly was because I genuinely thought that could help 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:04.120 people in terms of just going to doctor getting a 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:08.079 health check, not just women, everyone, And that was amazing 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:13.880 because I didn't just hear from people initially when I 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:18.120 made the announcement, who were you know, sending good thoughts 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:21.480 my way? And then over the coming days and weeks 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:26.440 heard from so many people who had gone to get checked, 0:14:26.880 --> 0:14:30.440 and that was really gratifying and amazing, and not just check, 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:35.160 people who had made amazing life changes, had quit their jobs, 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:40.800 had moved, had made these kind of incredible life changes 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:45.040 because they just realized, as I have, that life's so 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:49.560 short and so precious, and that was unexpected and amazing. 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:54.360 I was thinking, just how absolutely amazing because somebody like 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:57.880 you that is being beamed into people's living rooms and 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:01.560 has been for a long time on Sunrise and on 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:05.360 social media, and you know, you might wear something and everyone's. 0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:05.920 Like, where'd you get that from? 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:08.080 When you talk about something, or you took your kids somewhere, 0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:10.720 and everyone wants to know everything, and then to share 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:14.520 something that's so raw and vulnerable and to have that 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:18.360 have such an influence and an impact. I mean, Eddie, 0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:21.000 that's truly life changing stuff. 0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:24.440 Yeah, it was phenomenal. In fact, I'll read to you 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:27.160 a text that I received from a friend of mine 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:30.120 just this week, and she said, I wanted to wait 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:33.120 until I had the results to tell you because of you, 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:36.760 I went and had every overdue scan, screen and test, 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:41.560 and because of you, all were fine except breast. They 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:44.840 found a lump on my chest wall impossible to feel, 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:47.960 but lit up like a balloon on the mammogram. And 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:50.720 because of you, yesterday I sat in a room in 0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:52.560 a robe with a dozen other women. 0:15:52.360 --> 0:15:54.080 Who had also received a callback. 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:58.720 I had more exams, three D mammograms, ultrasound, and because 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:01.160 of you, I was called in the office of the nurse, 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:04.400 not the oncologist, and I'm one of the lucky ones. 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:06.920 It was just a cyst, but because of you, I 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:10.160 feel very grateful to be well and relieved, and I 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:12.120 hope you're feeling as good as me today. 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:16.520 Ah, that's amazing, which is just, you know, so unbelievable, 0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:17.760 so moving, isn't. 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:18.880 It really lovely? 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:22.720 Because, as you say, Edwena, in the time where you 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:26.520 received your diagnosis and then you're having all of these conversations, 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.480 never easy to say anything out loud, whatever it is, 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:33.080 whether it's telling your loved ones, your friends, your colleagues. 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:37.120 And then obviously this mass out pouring from people all 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:40.160 over Australia in the world followed when you went public 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:43.160 with your diagnosis on Sunrise, which was the first week 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:46.600 of September and was time just ahead of Blood cancer 0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:49.280 Awareness Month. So everything that you've just talked about was 0:16:49.320 --> 0:16:53.120 part of why you decided to speak out. That must 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:57.760 also be gratifying because I rewatched you speaking about it 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:00.280 again last night ahead of us sitting down, and I 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:03.200 did watch it obviously, I knew it was going to happen, 0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:05.439 and I did watch it live on air that morning, 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:08.400 and I remember thinking at the time, my heart went 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:10.479 out to you, like everyone would have, whether they know 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:13.760 you or not, and you, genuinely, you just handled yourself 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:17.720 so incredibly beautifully. It was so eloquent, and it was 0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:24.240 such a moving moment. You must have felt incredibly well, 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:26.360 you will tell me how you feel. But that must 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:30.199 have been extremely confronting, because having to tell one person 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:33.240 a couple of people is difficult enough. Having to go 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:36.440 and share that story with the country, it's not easy. 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:41.480 It actually felt like a relief to have it out there. 0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:44.080 Obviously, in the lead up. 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:46.119 To that, I was going to specialist appointments in and 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:50.360 out of hospitals for specialist visits and having to get 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:53.639 blood tests and all this sort of thing, and I 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:55.840 really wanted to do it on my own terms and 0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:58.200 share that news, and I wanted to do it in 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:02.400 a time that suited me. So I'd known for about 0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:03.960 a month and a half by the time I made 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:06.399 that announcement, and even in the studio that morning, I 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:08.680 tried to make sure that everyone knew before they heard 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:11.000 it on TV, because there's just nothing worse when you're 0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:13.119 standing in the room with someone and they're sharing something 0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:16.240 so personal and you're finding out in that way. And 0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:19.520 I wanted to do it, particularly during that time because 0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:24.000 I'd already booked to go away and spend a week 0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:28.320 just at a health retreat, and I knew that I 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:30.760 had time after that book to spend with my family, 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:34.600 So yeah, it felt like a huge relief, and I'd 0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:37.120 spend a bit of time afterwards, just over the weekend 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:39.840 writing back to as many people as I could, and 0:18:39.880 --> 0:18:43.080 then I just stopped. And then it was really nice 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:46.000 to spend some time with his friends and family, and 0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:49.240 Seven's been so gracious about it. I took some time 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:52.320 off there then, and then I've only gone back to 0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:54.520 working three or four days a week, which has been 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:57.800 a huge relief because now it's moved from being an 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:01.320 issue about the initial diagnosis to just taking care of 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:04.119 myself genuinely this time, not just lying. 0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:04.440 To you about it. 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:07.440 So yeah, that's the focus for me now is well 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:09.640 being and making sure that you know, I sleep enough 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:13.240 and eat well and you know, really really do take 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:16.520 care of myself. So yeah, it felt like a real 0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:19.399 weight off my shoulders to actually say it out loud, 0:19:21.320 --> 0:19:23.440 and you know, knowing I had the support of all 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:26.919 my colleagues there and all my friends at home and 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:27.879 family as well. 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:31.880 So yeah, it felt good actually, And as you say, 0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:34.240 I can see why it would have been a relief, 0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:37.200 because the last thing you want is anyone finding out 0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:40.560 about a way where that's completely out of your control 0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:43.280 and you feel on top of everything that you're managing 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:46.159 at that time that you then have to be worried 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:46.639 about that. 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:51.120 But went to the Logis the week before, and obviously 0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:54.000 I knew then, and naturally everyone says, oh, how are 0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:58.360 you you're well, and I said, oh, yeah, really well, thanks, 0:19:58.640 --> 0:20:02.840 And I just felt so fraudulent the whole time. And 0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:05.080 there were friends that I saw there who were quite close, 0:20:05.119 --> 0:20:07.640 but obviously, you know, that's not the environment to tell 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:11.760 anyone that kind of news, and so yeah, compared to 0:20:11.840 --> 0:20:14.560 feeling that way where you're kind of keeping a secret, 0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:18.760 and it didn't feel very genuine to actually just having 0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:21.000 it out there and it's you know, it's not something 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:24.960 that has to define you, obviously, but it's nice. And 0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:28.600 I heard from a friend of mine she had exactly 0:20:28.600 --> 0:20:32.000 the same diagnosis, almost exactly the same week, and so 0:20:32.080 --> 0:20:35.919 we're going through the same thing together. So just weird, 0:20:36.400 --> 0:20:42.960 weird instances like that of you know, friends, strangers, lots 0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:44.720 of people reaching out, sharing advice. 0:20:45.160 --> 0:20:50.359 But she called me afterwards. I called her afterwards. 0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:52.240 And I can't believe this, you know what happened, and 0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:54.440 we went through it, and she said hearing it from 0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:56.240 you made me feel a lot better about what was 0:20:56.280 --> 0:20:59.520 happening to me. So that was also a lovely, nice, 0:20:59.600 --> 0:21:00.840 kind of side effect of it all. 0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:05.359 And after the break, Duena reflects on what twenty twenty 0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:08.240 four has taught her, an answer that brought us both 0:21:08.280 --> 0:21:14.080 to tears. Did many of your immediate colleagues know? Because 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:19.480 it didn't get out and obviously I knew, and so 0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:23.520 did my deputy editor, Nicholas No. And you're always holding 0:21:23.520 --> 0:21:28.119 your breath when somebody's you know, got a timeline in 0:21:28.200 --> 0:21:30.720 terms of working through something really big in their life, 0:21:30.760 --> 0:21:35.919 whether it's really happy news or challenging news, and it 0:21:36.000 --> 0:21:39.240 didn't get out there at all. It's I would argue, 0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:43.600 that's a real mark of you and the value and 0:21:43.640 --> 0:21:45.560 the respect that people have for you. 0:21:45.840 --> 0:21:47.960 Hopefully, but also you have to be a real asshole 0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:48.760 and print that one. 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:53.159 This is true, but the industry is not devoid of assholes. 0:21:53.200 --> 0:21:56.040 I'm just going to say this is true. This is true. 0:21:57.280 --> 0:22:00.600 I yeah, a lot of people knew, and I had 0:22:00.680 --> 0:22:03.159 already had to drop down days of work in the 0:22:03.240 --> 0:22:06.440 lead up to that announcement, and that's I'm very unusual 0:22:06.440 --> 0:22:08.800 for me to take a sick day. And so after 0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:11.360 about three or four weeks, I started to get kind 0:22:11.400 --> 0:22:14.639 of texts when my name wasn't appearing on rosters saying like, okay, 0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:18.639 how's everything going. So there plenty of people were asking questions, 0:22:18.680 --> 0:22:20.600 and I was just honest with anyone if they asked. 0:22:20.680 --> 0:22:23.680 So yeah, by the time I made the announcement, I'm 0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:28.840 not very good at keeping secrets generally speaking, and so 0:22:29.320 --> 0:22:31.640 a lot of people knew. But it didn't bother me, 0:22:31.880 --> 0:22:35.359 you know, As I said, I was really keen to 0:22:35.680 --> 0:22:38.200 make the announcement on my terms. But I think when 0:22:38.200 --> 0:22:41.680 something like this happens, it really does put so much 0:22:41.760 --> 0:22:44.720 in perspective, and you know, I wouldn't have been the 0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:47.080 end of the world if that happened. I would have 0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:49.560 been a bit pissed off, But like you know, in 0:22:49.560 --> 0:22:51.280 the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. 0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:52.439 There's been a lot of that. 0:22:52.720 --> 0:22:57.280 I imagine, perspective has been a word that's late. 0:22:57.720 --> 0:22:58.360