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Speaker 1: Are you or do you know someone who is? I

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Speaker 1: guess from anything other than a meat and potatoes anglow background.

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Speaker 1: All right, Personally, I am a first but honestly second

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Speaker 1: generation immigrant. I was baby when I came here, but

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Speaker 1: I definitely grew up in a culture and value system

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Speaker 1: that felt very familiar to my parents and really wasn't

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Speaker 1: different as far as I was concerned, because that's all

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Speaker 1: what we and that other kids who are hanging out

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Speaker 1: with we're experiencing as well, all the Lithuania kids an

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Speaker 1: Adalade and later on, to a lesser extent, the Czech

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Speaker 1: kids up in Brisbane. Yeah, when those same cultural foundations

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Speaker 1: that give a family stability when adapting to a new country,

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Speaker 1: you know, the ability to say in your own language,

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Speaker 1: gnrl's pretty weird, isn't it. You know, makes you feel

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Speaker 1: less alone when you're moving to other place. So that

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Speaker 1: that thing that helped them stay stable in a new country,

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Speaker 1: those things can sometimes start to limit opportunities, perhaps even

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Speaker 1: limit the well being of the kids of the families.

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Speaker 1: There can be some friction when that happens. Snazanna Woods

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Speaker 1: story might be a story that you think, you know,

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Speaker 1: how there's a lot more to her than you could

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Speaker 1: possibly imagine. She's a powerful mother of four. She got

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Speaker 1: a heck of a story to tell. It's so good

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Speaker 1: they wrote a book about it, a whole book. She'd

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Speaker 1: written an entire book about it, which is incredible when

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Speaker 1: you consider how busy she is as a mother of

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Speaker 1: four kids with a degree in molecular genetics in biotechnology.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that there's so much more. You gotta love.

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Speaker 1: This one is up in a sec I do need

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Speaker 1: to play some ads though. We're back after the break. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is better than yesterday, helping you make today better

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Speaker 1: than yesterday's Swede theday. Thanks for coming to the show.

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Speaker 1: My name is Osha Ginsberg. I'm a podcast I'm a

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Speaker 1: best selling author. I'm a dad, I'm a husband, I'm

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Speaker 1: a stepdad. I am a tourist of kindergartens invited, come on,

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Speaker 1: calm down. I am a contemplator of the grandness of

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Speaker 1: the universe when I look up at the stars at night,

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Speaker 1: and I'm glad you made it to the show. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Some people who have never been listening to the show,

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Speaker 1: maybe you're listening, so hello, welcome, thanks for being a

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Speaker 1: part of it. I'd be thrilled if you headed over

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Speaker 1: to Oshagainsberg dot com and checked out a few other episodes.

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Speaker 1: Wednesdays usually I've got a guest, Mondays and Friday is

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Speaker 1: usually just me. You can also get in touch if

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Speaker 1: you like Oshagainsberg dot com. There is a contact form there.

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Speaker 1: Mark reached out there to talk about the episode where

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Speaker 1: I talked about the freeze response and discovering that I

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Speaker 1: have one. It was pretty fun to talk about. It's

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Speaker 1: a couple of episodes back. You'll find that at Osha

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Speaker 1: Ginsberg dot com as well, so would on the show today.

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Speaker 1: She's written a memoir. It's called I'mtold, a Story of Love, motherhood,

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Speaker 1: heartbreak and change. Snaars and Audrey actually have quite a

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Speaker 1: bit in common. Audrey is my wife, so they're both

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Speaker 1: single moms. They both became single mums around the same age.

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Speaker 1: Georgia and Eve are about one year apart, and they

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Speaker 1: both did buy your Tech at Yuni. Snais is such

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Speaker 1: good value. She's just fabulous, a person who not unlike

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Speaker 1: many kids of immigrants. He's got a profound work ethic.

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Speaker 1: She's certainly a woman who's not afraid to get her

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Speaker 1: hands thirty heads up if you are eating during this

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Speaker 1: podcast today, there's a moment that well you should know about,

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Speaker 1: but you'll hear it coming. Don't worry. Enjoy. This is

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Speaker 1: me sitting down with Snaars and it's fantastic. I'm so

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Speaker 1: glad you listened to it. So happy you're in my home.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for Oh it's.

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Speaker 2: So amazing being here.

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Speaker 1: Thanks.

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Speaker 2: I'm so excited to be here and see you are

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Speaker 2: getting to have a chat.

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Speaker 1: I think about you all the time, and not for

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Speaker 1: the reason that that's not for the reason that people

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Speaker 1: might have jumped to. Every time someone calls me I go,

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Speaker 1: because it was you that told me, that told me

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Speaker 1: what that word means in some countries. My god, and

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Speaker 1: I often tell people, I say, look, if you need

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Speaker 1: a single syllable G still works, please just call me.

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Speaker 1: Oh what is that? Well, there's plenty of people in

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Speaker 1: Australia who are watching this right now, and you just

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Speaker 1: called me kunt because I'll get tweets about that someone's

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Speaker 1: nona was watching and that was.

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Speaker 2: My goodness. Yea god, that was that feels it like

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Speaker 2: a lifetime.

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Speaker 1: It was, it was it was ten years ago. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: tell me abo out why you thought now it is

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Speaker 1: a great time. I'm going to write a book.

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Speaker 2: Well do you know, to be quite honest like that,

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Speaker 2: I've been approached so many times prior and I was like, no,

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Speaker 2: not doing it, not doing it. I am not a writer.

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Speaker 2: I cannot write. I barely passed English. I'm just not

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Speaker 2: very articular in that kind of way. And I went no,

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Speaker 2: absolutely not. And then I think after some time went on,

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Speaker 2: I think, you know, they wore me down. But also

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Speaker 2: I thought, you know, people only know so much about me.

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Speaker 2: They only know a little snippet about my story, and

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Speaker 2: that's what we've seen on the Bachelor, and just like

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Speaker 2: you know, random things on Instagram, which is not like

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Speaker 2: it's all real, but it's not. You know how I've

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Speaker 2: come here and the real story behind who I am

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Speaker 2: and why I am the way I am, and you

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Speaker 2: know how I've come to this place, and you know,

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Speaker 2: I've had so many struggles. I think a lot of

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Speaker 2: people thought, you know, she went on the Bachelor, singleman

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Speaker 2: went on the Bachelor. I found sad and Jack Pott

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Speaker 2: kind of thing, But it's not the case at all.

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Speaker 2: Like I've from very young age had a really strong

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Speaker 2: work ethic and I was never on the bachelor for

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Speaker 2: you know, a publicity or marketing thing, which I think

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Speaker 2: a lot of people did start to do towards the

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Speaker 2: end there, which is a shame.

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Speaker 1: I'm not one to say it's such a shame.

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Speaker 2: Like it's so disappointing, and yeah, so I think I

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Speaker 2: just really wanted people to kind of go, you know what,

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Speaker 2: you know, things haven't come easy for this one. Here,

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Speaker 2: for her, it's you know, she's worked hard, she's you know,

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Speaker 2: gone up and down, up and down, she's you know,

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Speaker 2: been faced with so many different struggles, and I just

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Speaker 2: wanted people to relate and understand and kind of get

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Speaker 2: a bit more of an authentic view into my life

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Speaker 2: and my journey.

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Speaker 1: To go from someone who might have been told early

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Speaker 1: on that school a you know, you can't write well,

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Speaker 1: you're not not that very good, and you spends of

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Speaker 1: time out of the country so where English is no

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Speaker 1: longer available to you, so you're trying to communicate and

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Speaker 1: this doesn't even look like why is there a see here?

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Speaker 1: It doesn't even sound like I see like what am

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Speaker 1: I writing? Yeah, and then trying to adapt back to

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Speaker 1: that that's going to leave a mark on what you

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Speaker 1: think you're capable of shortly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely, it was. It really hurt my

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Speaker 2: i think, self confidence at a very young age, and

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Speaker 2: it just made me stop asking questions. It made me fear,

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Speaker 2: you know, putting my hand up or you know, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to get laughter, I'm going to get made fun of,

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Speaker 2: which is you know what happened, like, you know, kids

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Speaker 2: are innocent, they innocently you know, have a little giggle

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Speaker 2: or anything. But I think that had more of an

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Speaker 2: effect on me than I really knew at the time.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, it was. It was really kind of honed

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Speaker 2: in on me that you know, don't put your hand up,

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Speaker 2: don't don't ask the question, You're going to get larger,

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Speaker 2: You're going to get made fun of. And that I

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Speaker 2: think stopped me from learning things and knowing things, because

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Speaker 2: even if I had no idea what was going on

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Speaker 2: in class, I'd look around, everybody else would be nodding.

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Speaker 2: When the teacher said you understand, I'll be like and

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Speaker 2: then I'd just sit there completely just no idea.

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Speaker 1: In mass I was that Zack gallifanakus clip, I was

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Speaker 1: that Zach gallifanakas gift. In maths, I would just sit

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Speaker 1: there and I watched the numbers just kind of dance

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Speaker 1: around the blackball, going, I don't know why I need

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Speaker 1: to know how to draw a curve based on these numbers,

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Speaker 1: And because I don't know why post was the answer. Now,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't eat at all. When you see

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Speaker 1: your own kids and the way they come back from

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Speaker 1: school all the way talk to you, do you think, oh,

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Speaker 1: maybe they are kind of changing things around a bit

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Speaker 1: as far as teaching goes.

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Speaker 2: Not really. I think you know, the kids are given

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Speaker 2: extra time or reading time if they have you know,

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Speaker 2: ADHD or something, but I don't think that's really gonna

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Speaker 2: help in like in the long term, because it's the

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Speaker 2: learning of the topic that they're learning that that's the

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Speaker 2: important thing, not the break when they have an exam

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Speaker 2: that's going to change the whole situation. So you know,

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Speaker 2: they're putting little things in place, but I don't think

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Speaker 2: it's enough to really get the most out of our kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess now in a way that wasn't the

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Speaker 1: case when I was. My parents did probably differently to

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Speaker 1: other kids parents. They immigrants, They valued education and above

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Speaker 1: mostly the same with Audrey, so they might have put

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Speaker 1: a bit of extra effort in with us, but other

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Speaker 1: kids parents would be like, that's what I've paid my

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Speaker 1: taxes for. That's their job. Yeah. When I get home,

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Speaker 1: I'm tired.

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Speaker 2: I'm tired.

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Speaker 1: I want to watch the news, eat dinner, Yeah, have

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Speaker 1: a beer, and go to bed. Yeah that's it.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: It's a bit different now, it is.

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Speaker 2: I remember growing up, you know, Mum and dad, my

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Speaker 2: dad in particular, would sit down and help us, like

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Speaker 2: we do all the homework and everything like that. And

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Speaker 2: I think, you know, it's fair to say, like we

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Speaker 2: do get We've been working all day and after stuff,

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Speaker 2: I have no idea, like even though I did most

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Speaker 2: of it before. I'm like, she wants this like evil say, Mum,

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to do this. I don't know how to

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Speaker 2: do it. And I'll look at it and go, oh shit,

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Speaker 2: like how do I do that? I don't I don't

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Speaker 2: remember how to. I don't even know. I don't even

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Speaker 2: know where to start. So there is that pressure on

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Speaker 2: a parent to kind of help their kid. So I

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Speaker 2: can understand how the parents are, like, you know, I

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Speaker 2: send you to school, I expect you to you know,

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Speaker 2: the teachers to help you out in this situation. And yeah,

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Speaker 2: I can help you out a little bit, but there's

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Speaker 2: only so much I can do. So I get that. So, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you really kind of do rely on the.

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Speaker 3: Teachers to give them the most information and to teach

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Speaker 3: them in a way that's going to be kind of

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Speaker 3: enough for them to grasp hold of what they're learning

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Speaker 3: and just maybe ask mom and dad for a little hour.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting. I find that as becoming a parent, pretty

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Speaker 1: much right around when I met you is when it

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Speaker 1: all happening, maybe just a little bit before I was

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Speaker 1: able to see that I have an opportunity to not

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Speaker 1: rewrite my own history, but certainly close and open tab

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Speaker 1: in my brain by giving something to g l A

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Speaker 1: Wolfgang that I didn't get, not for any fault with

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Speaker 1: my parents, but give them something that I didn't give

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Speaker 1: those kids, something I didn't get, and then my brain

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Speaker 1: goes ah for better about that now. Yeah, and it's

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Speaker 1: been extraordinarily healing. Yeah, do you find.

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Speaker 2: That I do?

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Speaker 4: I do?

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Speaker 2: I think I don't know, just to like, my parents

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Speaker 2: really did the most that they could and helped us

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Speaker 2: out and did all that stuff. But I think giving

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Speaker 2: evy things that I didn't get growing up, you just think, wow,

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Speaker 2: you know, I want you to experience everything and more.

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Speaker 2: I want you to experience so much more than I

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Speaker 2: didn't have so many more opportunities and you know, be

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Speaker 2: around people. Like growing up with Sam I think has

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Speaker 2: really helped he because you know, I grew up in

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Speaker 2: a close knit European family, and you know, the community

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Speaker 2: is quite small, it's very kind of it's a little bubble.

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Speaker 2: So I think had I not have met Sam, and

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Speaker 2: had I not exposed Evie, you know, to the rest

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Speaker 2: of the world and how you know, other people think,

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Speaker 2: and you know, all these other opportunities that she has

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Speaker 2: in front of her, Like I think she would have

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Speaker 2: been a completely different person. And you know, growing up

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Speaker 2: in a European family, know that you get married, you

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Speaker 2: have kids, you work, you know, just any old job

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Speaker 2: to pay the bills, and that was it. Whereas Eve's

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Speaker 2: been exposed now to so much more. You know, you

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Speaker 2: can be whoever you want, you can do whatever you want.

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Speaker 2: Where I didn't get that. I think, you know, meeting

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Speaker 2: Sam and him really kind of you know, drilling it

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Speaker 2: into her as well. Like Eve, I feel that not

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Speaker 2: only did I think that I couldn't do anything that

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Speaker 2: I wanted, Like I think that I might have rubbed

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Speaker 2: a bit of that off onto Eve. Not directly. I

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Speaker 2: don't think it was a directly growing up growing up thinking,

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Speaker 2: you know, but I did always say, you know, you

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Speaker 2: can be whatever you want. I want you to do,

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Speaker 2: you know, whatever makes you happy and everything. But there

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Speaker 2: was also this almost like a ceiling on it, because

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Speaker 2: nobody in our friendship group or a community or anything

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Speaker 2: like that had achieved these things or was in a

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Speaker 2: position where she could kind of look up to them

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Speaker 2: and go, wow, I can do this. So I think

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Speaker 2: like indirectly I kind of maybe kind of put a

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Speaker 2: ceiling on her dreams and things. And I think when

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Speaker 2: she's met Sam, Sam such a kind of out there

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Speaker 2: person who's like, you can do whatever you want. He's

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Speaker 2: so driven and ambitious, and I think that really kind

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Speaker 2: of she's looked at that and then you know, kind

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Speaker 2: of went, oh, yeah, you know, there there is things

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Speaker 2: that I can do. There's so much more to life

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Speaker 2: than you know, just growing up getting married.

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Speaker 1: Man, I was getting mad flashbacks when you were talking

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Speaker 1: about and I'm sure it's the same with you, but

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Speaker 1: weekends with us was who are the other people in

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Speaker 1: Brisbane that speak check? Let's go find them by them,

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Speaker 1: and it'll be four families getting together with four dads

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Speaker 1: just getting on the sliver of bits while kids who'd

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Speaker 1: never really met try to figure out how to play

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Speaker 1: together wildly different age rangers. Some of them can understand

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Speaker 1: what the parents talking about, some of them can't, you know.

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Speaker 1: And everything smells amazing, and we always wait too long

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Speaker 1: to eat.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's always a big drives home.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds pretty, sounds pretty.

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Speaker 2: Figil Yeah, absolutely, like there was always those big gatherings

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Speaker 2: and friends and family and food and feeds and all

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Speaker 2: that stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the same with Audrey's family, but there's a

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Speaker 1: difference between a minimum count. I think for Audrey's get

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Speaker 1: together as twenty four, that's the immediate Fijian team of

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Speaker 1: her family in.

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Speaker 2: Sydney, in Sydney, in Sydney.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think there might be a little difference

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Speaker 1: about the way the Pacific community integrates more or integrats

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Speaker 1: in it, sorry, integrates in a different way to some

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Speaker 1: of the Euros that you know, I've seen over my time.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's a bit of but I get it,

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Speaker 1: you know, my dad landed here in nineteen seventy four. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and He was just on the beach in Atalide one

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Speaker 1: day and he heard he heard check words coming from somewhere.

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Speaker 1: Apparently he just left off the beach blanket I'm a baby,

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Speaker 1: And he went and met this guy who.

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Speaker 4: Was like like like, oh my god, I thought I

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Speaker 4: was only now there's two of us because they both

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Speaker 4: had to flee their country ninety six years before.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, so I was wondering, like, it's a

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Speaker 1: feeling of safety.

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Speaker 2: You know, you feel safe, You've grown up, you have

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Speaker 2: the same morals, the same kind of way of thinking,

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Speaker 2: and it's just like a safety there.

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Speaker 1: The same Like, I know it's thirty eight degrees kids,

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Speaker 1: but we're going to eat lud.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

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Speaker 1: We don't want the steak or the chops. Give us

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Speaker 1: the nose and the butt and the feet. Oh god,

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Speaker 1: don't touch it. It's not been in the pot for

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Speaker 1: sixteen hours yet. That's the best part of the pig.

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Speaker 1: The head.

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Speaker 2: Oh I couldn't do that.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my folks, I'm mad into.

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Speaker 2: That really Yeah yeah, wow.

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Speaker 1: I never scaped it though. The Fijians they love they

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Speaker 1: love it too.

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Speaker 2: Do they?

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Speaker 1: What's ordering butcher? A pig from snout to foot as

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Speaker 1: you do, and she's down with these people in the family.

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Speaker 1: Get this part of it, and there's a whole thing. Oh,

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Speaker 1: there's the whole thing. Yeah, it's really interesting you have.

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Speaker 1: You have something very much in common with one of

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Speaker 1: my best mates ever whose parents came from Uruguay and

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Speaker 1: they just leaned straight into probably one of the only

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Speaker 1: jobs around that wasn't public transport, and that is cleaning.

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Speaker 2: Clean strength, cleanly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm guessing your folks.

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Speaker 2: I did that probably a young age.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Kids be quiet. Dad's asleep a month sleep because

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Speaker 1: they're up all night.

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Speaker 2: Right, Well, Dad will be up early in the morning.

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Speaker 2: He was always up early because he had two jobs.

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Speaker 2: Like he would get up at five thirty six do

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Speaker 2: his day job, which was for the main roads department,

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Speaker 2: so it'd be working out in the sun all day

334
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Speaker 2: building doing whatever he was doing, and then he'd come home.

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Speaker 2: Mum would have dinner made for him. We'd have an

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Speaker 2: early dinner, like at four point thirty, four thirty five dinner,

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Speaker 2: and then we'd all go and go to the next job,

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Speaker 2: which was cleaning from like five five thirty. Yeah, about

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Speaker 2: five five thirty.

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Speaker 1: So it was a contract to go clean was yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yea, yeah, a massive job. I was the sink cleaner. Uh.

342
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Speaker 2: I did the toilets to the like kind of so

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Speaker 2: we can pick up the place. Because we made a competition,

344
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Speaker 2: like how quick can we do each kind of toilet block?

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Speaker 1: There's three of you. How old was the youngest kid?

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Speaker 2: My brother was. My brother was only little. He would

347
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Speaker 2: have his seven years younger, so he didn't he didn't

348
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Speaker 2: come along. He was me and my sister who was

349
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Speaker 2: a year older. So it was us two that did this.

350
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Speaker 2: So yeah, so we made it. I think Rob came

351
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Speaker 2: towards the end on Fridays when they'd have like the

352
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Speaker 2: parties on the staff Mate staff is on the seventh

353
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Speaker 2: floor and they had the pool tables and everything and

354
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Speaker 2: the pizzas and all that stuff, and it was like

355
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Speaker 2: watching people at the zoo, like animals at the zoo.

356
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Speaker 2: Like we would be like sticking our heads in, going

357
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Speaker 2: what are they doing? Oh, the black pool they're doing

358
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Speaker 2: this Because we'd come from a blue collar family and

359
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Speaker 2: all our you know, it was, that's what it was,

360
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,399
Speaker 2: and all our friends and family in Australia were blue

361
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Speaker 2: collar workers. So for us to see people in an

362
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Speaker 2: office you know, shirt and tie, doing the office. That

363
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Speaker 2: was like a foreign thing.

364
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Speaker 1: For us when your mate to probably heading into somewhere

365
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Speaker 1: to go watch a movie or weather.

366
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Speaker 2: Rubbing things and toilet.

367
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Speaker 1: What does it do for you? How do what to

368
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:12,680
Speaker 1: scrubbing toilets, public toilets that are not your family toilets, No,

369
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 1: people who have many no respect for the toilet brush.

370
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Speaker 1: What does that? You know? How does that set you

371
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Speaker 1: up for life?

372
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Speaker 2: Well, I'm I'm not a precious person, like you know,

373
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Speaker 2: I'm not precious. I'm not scared to get my hands dirty.

374
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Speaker 2: I wore gloves. I don't mean it like literally, but yeah,

375
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Speaker 2: I think you just kind of have a thick skin.

376
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,919
Speaker 2: You're not like scared of a bit of hard work.

377
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Speaker 2: And I never have been Like that was just normal

378
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,480
Speaker 2: for me. Like the kids will other friends would be

379
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,200
Speaker 2: going to the movies and you know, watching all parties,

380
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 2: and I'd be like, I can't have to clean. I

381
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,159
Speaker 2: have to clean. I have to clean toilet basins, and

382
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 2: like the basins had to sparkle, like my parents would

383
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,960
Speaker 2: have like a quick look, seet, yep, they're good, they're sparkling.

384
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 2: There was no cutting corners because if they didn't sparkle,

385
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 2: you have to do it again. So yeah, it just

386
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Speaker 2: I don't know just I'm not I'm not scared of

387
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Speaker 2: hard work.

388
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Speaker 1: I was lucky that I was a roady. When I

389
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 1: was seventeen, I ended up with two hernias and the

390
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,160
Speaker 1: hearing damage. I'm fine and he isn't even hearing agent.

391
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,159
Speaker 1: Whenever you saw me on batch, no one else was

392
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 1: talking that I was quiet on set, so I was fine.

393
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 1: It was my background nose. I normally have to wear

394
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:27,440
Speaker 1: hearing ages. Yeah, and whenever we were doing the the roses,

395
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:31,400
Speaker 1: I had everybody's microphone in my ear because people who

396
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,160
Speaker 1: were that far away.

397
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 2: From ul are you joking? So it wasn't just an

398
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 2: earpiece because.

399
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 1: No, so I could hear people. Yeah, wow, that's a side.

400
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:45,200
Speaker 1: So I did this like heay duty, lifting heavy shit, yeah,

401
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,440
Speaker 1: a lot, and in the middle of the stinking hot

402
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 1: cans evening, you know, loading out of miclub at three

403
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,119
Speaker 1: in the morning. I think it's for me thought. I

404
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 1: felt it was really valuable to have a job that

405
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 1: was fucking hard because then later in life I'm like,

406
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to do everything I can do because I

407
00:20:58,880 --> 00:20:59,840
Speaker 1: know what that kind of work is.

408
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 2: Can do it i'd rather Yeah. Yeah, that's the stuff

409
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 2: that I don't want to do, which is why I'm

410
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,959
Speaker 2: going to work my ass off really hard so I

411
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,399
Speaker 2: never have to do that again. I'm not scared to

412
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,119
Speaker 2: do it. I'm not afraid of doing it or anything,

413
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 2: but I don't want to do it, and I don't

414
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 2: want my kids to have to do it. But yeah,

415
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,160
Speaker 2: it does. It just pushes you to work harder and

416
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 2: you try harder to achieve what you want to achieve

417
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 2: and give yourself the best possible life you can.

418
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 1: Certain cultural things do follow people when they come to Australia,

419
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 1: as you know, for people bring great recipes with them.

420
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: As you know, the great Australian rapper Briggs would say, like,

421
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: hands off my food, court man, don't mess with my flavor. Dude,

422
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,159
Speaker 1: is one of the greatest inventions on the planet. And

423
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,439
Speaker 1: without the beautiful people of Vietnam we wouldn't have it.

424
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 1: So come on, man, yeah, let's you know, things are

425
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 1: really good that come work country. Some things, however, ten

426
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 1: cannot translate so wellicularly perhaps views of what a daughter's

427
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 1: capacity in life can be. And I'm wondering if when

428
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,679
Speaker 1: you were a kid, did that come into play when it,

429
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 1: you know, you were saying, I think I'm going to

430
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 1: go and do this after high school.

431
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,439
Speaker 2: I think it did to a certain extent, Like my

432
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 2: parents as traditional and traditional and like kind of they

433
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 2: had that European mentality and everything. I think they were

434
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 2: a bit cooler than the others around us. But I

435
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:36,400
Speaker 2: think growing up, I don't know any Massadonian girls who

436
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 2: are older than me that were striving for some sort

437
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 2: of career and ambitious or had any sort of ambition

438
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,160
Speaker 2: apart from get married and have kids, which I found

439
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 2: really weird. But I went, I guess that's just what

440
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 2: life is, and I guess this is it. That's it.

441
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 2: There's no reason for me to you know, try to

442
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 2: reach for something because I didn't think that was a possibility. Also,

443
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,399
Speaker 2: having the you know, having schools kind of tell you, you know,

444
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 2: you're not really cut out for that kind of career

445
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 2: role or anything also kind of added to it. So

446
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 2: I just went, Okay, well, I guess this is it.

447
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 2: But there is other things, yeah, Like I think it's

448
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 2: more it's not so much the Macedonian culture in Europe.

449
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,400
Speaker 2: I think it's when we came here, when my family

450
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 2: came here. It was the Macedonian culture within Australia that

451
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 2: was different because back in Europe, you know, my aunties

452
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 2: they all have you know, white collared jobs and you

453
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 2: know they're quite intelligent and they've got great jobs and

454
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 2: they work hard and all that stuff. So it wasn't

455
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 2: the same as it is here. Except the Macedonians coming

456
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 2: to Australia. I think something something switched, something changed, and

457
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 2: you know, there wasn't that same drive for you know,

458
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 2: a career or education as there is back in Macedonia.

459
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 2: And I'm not sure how or what happened there, but

460
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 2: I think here, well it was you get married, have

461
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,879
Speaker 2: a family, right, so that's it. Yeah. Yeah, if you

462
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 2: want a little business, you know you can do you know,

463
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,360
Speaker 2: hairdressing or you know something now you can do from home,

464
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 2: or you know, you can get a bit of a job,

465
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,959
Speaker 2: but you know, nothing that's going to take I think

466
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 2: time out of your day after five o'clock, because a

467
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,440
Speaker 2: lot of jobs, like you don't just clock of a

468
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 2: clock off at five, like you're always working, you always

469
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,880
Speaker 2: thinking about work, but something where you could clock off

470
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 2: and you know, look after the family. A lot of

471
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 2: the Macedonians and I think Europeans had that kind of

472
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 2: mentality back then. I think a lot of things have

473
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 2: changed now, thankfully, and a lot of the Europeans, you know,

474
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 2: girls especially, have kind of broken through and like, no,

475
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 2: I want to do something with my life. I don't

476
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 2: just want to get married, I don't just want to

477
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 2: have kids. And then that's it, which is amazing, an

478
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,120
Speaker 2: incredible thing.

479
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: What was going on in your life when you felt pregnant?

480
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 1: Were you working?

481
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 2: I was at that point, I was a dental nurse.

482
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 1: I was a dental nurse, so there's some training there.

483
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,639
Speaker 2: I did finish high school and I did a year

484
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 2: of training and became a dental nurse. So I was

485
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 2: dental nurse at that point, and I absolutely loved it.

486
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 2: That was quite fun. It was really fun. I worked

487
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 2: with some amazing I.

488
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: Can't get away from cleaning, can you.

489
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,359
Speaker 2: It always creeps in, it doesn't, Oh my god. I

490
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 2: had the best times working at a government dental hospital.

491
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 2: We played tricks on each other with the dentist and

492
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,400
Speaker 2: everything so much.

493
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:37,120
Speaker 1: That's yeah. The wishes and for people from Australia who

494
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 1: are listening, we are very lucky to have a healthcare

495
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 1: system that pays for a lot of things, but really

496
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,959
Speaker 1: good dental somehow is mostly on the outside of that.

497
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 1: So there are government hospitals that didn't do dental stuff

498
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 1: for people who are in a socioeconomic situation where they

499
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 1: can't get that a dental thing, So you'd be helping

500
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: a lot of people who really need help.

501
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really good. It's bad. It's bad when

502
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 2: you get it, it's bad. So I worked. Yeah, I

503
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 2: worked there for a while, and I only finished because

504
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,679
Speaker 2: I was pregnant with Ivy, and then you know, I

505
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 2: was on my feet all day and it.

506
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 1: Was just got a bit.

507
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,439
Speaker 2: I was always a shocking pregnant person, not one of

508
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 2: my pregnancies, Like my sister's one of those people who

509
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 2: are envy and I like kind of snarl because they're like, oh,

510
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 2: I love being pregnant. She loved it. She was sick

511
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 2: for a couple of weeks and then that was it.

512
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 2: Whereas I'm sick from day one to the very end,

513
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 2: I feel like hell the entire time.

514
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 1: And then something happens in your brain you go, yeah,

515
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: I want to do that again.

516
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 2: Sucker for punishment, Sucker for it.

517
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,560
Speaker 1: Isn't that fascinating the way that our memory works and

518
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 1: then the things that our brain's release.

519
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, particularly in women.

520
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 1: Had both kids with no drugs.

521
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it's that is some serious pain. Dude,

522
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 2: my god, it is insane. I had eb I had naturally,

523
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 2: Will I had naturally. Charlie, my obstetrician, kind of went

524
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 2: all right, I hadn't done this naturally twice. You don't

525
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 2: need to be a hero. We know you can do it.

526
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 2: Do it a try, epidural, And I did. And I

527
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 2: was like, I could literally have babies every day if

528
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 2: this is what EPI drool. It's that it's a walk

529
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 2: through that after having two babies naturally and every dural

530
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 2: birth is like a walk in the park. It was

531
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,679
Speaker 2: just nothing. I just this is easy.

532
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: Wow.

533
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:45,120
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, it was literally, I mean, experiencing natural

534
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 2: birth is just the most mind blowing thing and most

535
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,919
Speaker 2: excruciating pain you will ever ever feel.

536
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 1: I watch told you do it. Oh and it was.

537
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 2: It's relentless.

538
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,600
Speaker 1: Well at the time, I remember walking out of it

539
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 1: like I'm holding Wolfe in my arms.

540
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:03,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

541
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,400
Speaker 1: And for some reason, the idea popped into my head

542
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 1: like no wonder things like you know, our social constructs

543
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 1: of keeping women subservient has existed because men do not

544
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,880
Speaker 1: have access to this power. This person is essentially a god.

545
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,359
Speaker 1: They are creating life and they are doing something with

546
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: their body that no man ever ever do. Of course

547
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 1: he's fucking terrified of it. Yeah, of course he wants

548
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 1: to keep it quiet. Of course he wants to control

549
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: it because he doesn't ever want to let her know

550
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 1: that he.

551
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 2: Can do something. Yeut so incredible and powerful and survive

552
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 2: something so beautiful, But at the same time it's.

553
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: Most stangerous thing you can do, most danger thing. Yeah,

554
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: people like I see these stories, you know, the hinterland

555
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 1: of the Sunshine Coast. People just like giving birth, Like

556
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 1: there's a re that midwives and education exist. I can't

557
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: rub some crystals together and save a child.

558
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 2: No, you can't. You need to need to be.

559
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 1: You need it and then you got and a life mom.

560
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 2: Yes exactly, you need everything else that comes with it.

561
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 2: Like I remember when I had Evie like that, she

562
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 2: came a little bit early, Like the doctors came running

563
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 2: in with all these machines for this and that, and

564
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 2: like you need that stuff. You need it because you've

565
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 2: got to get through it too.

566
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 1: You could survive child, but you could be left completely

567
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: damage for the rest of your life.

568
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 2: And then I over cares exactly. Yeah, so many complications

569
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 2: that could arise, and like we went through that with Harper,

570
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 2: Like I was, I felt completely fine after I had Harper,

571
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 2: and then like half an hour after having her, I

572
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 2: started to shake and almost convulse and everything. And then

573
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 2: that was like when I went downhill, and yeah, it's

574
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 2: just like can change like that, and it can change

575
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 2: it like if you don't have the proper medical professionals

576
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 2: there to kind of look at you and go, okay,

577
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 2: this is kind of piece the things together, you know,

578
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 2: little things that we had told our obstetrician he kind

579
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 2: of put together and kind of went okay, all right,

580
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 2: everything went fine just now, but something's not right and

581
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 2: he just quickly, you know, put all the pieces together.

582
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 2: I went, okay, this is what we need to do

583
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 2: quick now, get the baby out of here and kind

584
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 2: of get onto it. Like you need those people with

585
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 2: that knowledge and you know, the proper medicine, the proper antibody,

586
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 2: because otherwise, you know, just like you said, two crystals

587
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 2: being rubbed together, aren't he isn't going to cut it,

588
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 2: isn't going.

589
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 1: To cut it.

590
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 2: I love that people want, you know, to experience it

591
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 2: like that, but you need those people.

592
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. It's it's actually subject for a lot

593
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 1: of people. Yet it comes from a place of come

594
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 1: on with just one your wife.

595
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean you can do everything that

596
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 2: you want to do, Like you don't have to have

597
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 2: the you know, perjuria, all the drugs. You know, you

598
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 2: can keep it as natural as and as beautiful as

599
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 2: you want, but have the medical professionals and the things

600
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 2: that you need that just in cake.

601
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 1: What is it giving you? Watching the way people like

602
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 1: I need to put my cards on the table, people

603
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: asking what I was time it's favorite of about your life?

604
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 1: Say the same wood every time, the same wood, because

605
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 1: I would have and I've seen it time and again.

606
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 1: You know, these guys have got everything. They've got like

607
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: two percent body fat, They've got these incredible stock portfolios.

608
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 1: They're like, man, I'm losing money, taking ten weeks to

609
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 1: do this, but I'm trying it because I'm kind of

610
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: interested to see what might happen. And that's you know,

611
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 1: that's the kind of success they have in their life.

612
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: But they're still single. Yeah for a reason.

613
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 2: Yep.

614
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: Sam's a pretty much like the most perfect example of

615
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: someone went, oh it's me, ah man, And it's rare

616
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: that as a man you get to watch another men

617
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: do that because I'd been through that. You know, I've

618
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: been divorced out a couple of years before I met you,

619
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: and I had the long hard look at myself and

620
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: got sober and really had a long think about oh fuck,

621
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 1: and have to think about what previous relationships had and

622
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: also worked because I was aware that there was perhaps

623
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 1: some similar dance moves that I stepped up, and I

624
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to do that again to anybody,

625
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 1: and I don't want to do it to myself, and

626
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 1: so I had to still a lot of work. And

627
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 1: to watch another man do that and so publicly and

628
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: model it for other men, it's just amazing, thrilled man,

629
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: to see there was a day that we did. We

630
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 1: were on some cricket field or something that used to

631
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: be an oil refinery or something. I don't know how

632
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: they did it. And I watched him with all these

633
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 1: before all all you guys got there, I was like

634
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: fifteen kids, like little kids, yes, And it was like

635
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 1: playing some sort of obstacle courses. And I watched the

636
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 1: way he talked to these kids. I was like, oh

637
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: my god, you are the toddler whisperer.

638
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 2: It's so good at it.

639
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 1: So when what happens to that guy with that skill

640
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 1: set when he gets the key, when he's like and

641
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: now I'm doing it with you know e for example,

642
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: or then with the other kids? What was all those

643
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 1: to you watching someone who's not your own dad be

644
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 1: a dad? And what's it like watching Sam do fatherhood?

645
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 2: God?

646
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 1: Good question.

647
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 2: I Well, my dad like, even though he worked really hard,

648
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 2: there was a lot of work, work, work, gow gowk work.

649
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 2: When it came to spending time with us on weekends,

650
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 2: Mum and Dad did play with like, you know, we'd

651
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 2: play like you'd joke around and do things like that,

652
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 2: which was great. But I think watching Sam, I think,

653
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 2: as much as our parents, you know, one of the

654
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 2: best for us. I think watching Sam kind of encourage

655
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 2: and kind of nurture that part of Eve that was

656
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 2: and even without other girls like to try their hardest

657
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 2: and not to give up, and you know that they

658
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 2: could do whatever they want. And he really kind of

659
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 2: hones in on the things that they're good at and

660
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,800
Speaker 2: kind of tries to get them out of their comfort

661
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 2: zone and kind of you know, push them towards something

662
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 2: that they want, which is amazing because you know, my dad,

663
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 2: you know, did a lot for us, both my mum

664
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:35,359
Speaker 2: and dad did. But there was there wasn't that what

665
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 2: do you want to do? What do you want to be?

666
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 2: You can work towards this? Do you want me to

667
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:42,760
Speaker 2: help you to work towards this? Like there wasn't any

668
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 2: of that really that kind of communication like love was

669
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 2: shown to us with food and taking us on holidays

670
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 2: and you know, a cuddle here or there. It wasn't

671
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 2: kind of that other side of things where you got

672
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 2: the support to you know, help you grow as an

673
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 2: individual and as a person. I think watching Sam do

674
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 2: that is just amazing. And even just to sit down

675
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 2: and read a book and just things like that on

676
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 2: a daily basis with the girls, who does that every

677
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 2: night is just amazing because mom and dad like they

678
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 2: couldn't do that. Like they'd go to work, they'd be cleaning,

679
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,759
Speaker 2: and then we'd come home, we'd all be exhausted and

680
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 2: we'll go to bed. So there wasn't that like you know,

681
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,439
Speaker 2: daily reading a book before bed or any of those

682
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 2: little things like that. And you know European, you don't

683
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 2: say I love you like you don't do that. You're

684
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 2: just like, huh, you know now that we do, now

685
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 2: that we're older, we do, but growing.

686
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 1: Up, can't you see? This is how much this marinating?

687
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 1: This Yeah, it's a dumpling. I needed it with my

688
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,240
Speaker 1: own hands. It didn't make itself.

689
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 2: I made you this food. That is my love you exactly.

690
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 2: That is how like we showed love like.

691
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: With you're one hundred and twelve K seventeen. This is why,

692
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 1: see how much I love.

693
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 2: This is my love. This is how I showed my love.

694
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,399
Speaker 2: So to see you know Sam, you know, give him

695
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 2: cuddles and saying I love you and all that stuff.

696
00:35:58,080 --> 00:35:59,680
Speaker 2: It's really kind of amazing.

697
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 1: It's incredible to watch just that thing that day that

698
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 1: I saw him do, which I now I'm able to

699
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 1: do with Wolf, but I've never seen it in the wild. Right,

700
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 1: there was a really little kid. I think the kid

701
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: was three, maybe two or three like little, and I

702
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 1: just watched He's not a small man, way tall, every

703
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:23,720
Speaker 1: one of the US taller than me, and I watched

704
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: him get his eyeballs down to this kid's level, which

705
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 1: for him meant not only getting down on his knees,

706
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: but then even crouching down forever. And I saw him

707
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 1: instantly connect with this kid and their energy and whatever

708
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 1: it is they were excited or worried about. And the

709
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,399
Speaker 1: first the kid, you know, I know the routine now,

710
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: but the kid said, I'm really good at such and such.

711
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 1: That's the first thing I'd say. And he got right

712
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 1: down there and said you are. I can't wait to

713
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 1: see that.

714
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 2: That's going to be the encouragement and like the belief

715
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 2: that he has like in the kids, like that's what

716
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 2: a kid wants to hear. Like they're like, yeah, you

717
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:04,760
Speaker 2: can do it. Yeah, you are a mate.

718
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 1: I love throwing a ball. Yeah, when we go out there,

719
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 1: we'll do it together, won't we.

720
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 2: I even like, as a mom, I watch him and

721
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, how do you have that kind of energy

722
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:17,879
Speaker 2: and that kind of just it's just constant and it's

723
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 2: there like you can't I don't know. It's just incredible.

724
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: It's lovely to see, you know, it's really lovely to see.

725
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:28,919
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of I have a massive chip

726
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 1: on my shoulder about the kind of dad we see

727
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,839
Speaker 1: in Australian advertising. We see dumb, fat dad. That's how

728
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:39,319
Speaker 1: we see the insurance No, no, no, I've got that

729
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 1: we can deliver. You know, that's the dad we see.

730
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 2: It's the jokes, the mom who's doing all the account

731
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 2: caeping and like all that stuff. Our family is not

732
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 2: like that. Sam's got a great handle that I'm like

733
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,399
Speaker 2: running around doing other stuff that I'm good at, and

734
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 2: he does that stuff and he's good at it. Like,

735
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 2: so it's not that you know, dad that's disassociated from

736
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 2: the kids and what's happening in the house and knows

737
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 2: exactly what's happening in the house, and he does, you know,

738
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 2: really connect with the kids. And he's got like he

739
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 2: helps with bar like always has helped with bar time

740
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 2: and feeding and all that stuff. So it's yeah, it's

741
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 2: it's normal to us, but it's a lot of people

742
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:23,320
Speaker 2: think it's, oh my god, you're so lucky. That's so great.

743
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 2: I can't believe he does that. Yeah, but every day

744
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 2: should be doing that, every yeah, and every dad and

745
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 2: every son and daughter should be seeing able to see

746
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 2: a dad that's kind of involved in that way and

747
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 2: just I don't know, it's I think it makes a

748
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 2: huge difference and the impact it has on a child.

749
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:44,240
Speaker 1: It can have an impact on people of another generation

750
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 1: as well. Early on in my relationship with Audrey and Georgia,

751
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:50,800
Speaker 1: we went to her parents' house and I was sitting

752
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 1: with her. You know that they came here from Fiji

753
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 1: after one of the cups, so that and you know,

754
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: so it's a different cultural thing there. And after dinner,

755
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 1: I got up and I started putting the dishes away

756
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and what.

757
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:06,479
Speaker 2: Are you doing?

758
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that basically one of the you know, one

759
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:10,879
Speaker 1: of the one of the men at the table, because

760
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 1: it was a couple of other men of my father

761
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 1: in law's you know, cohort with that age group with

762
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: they like you guys, like what do you do it?

763
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 1: Like you know you're making you know, you should be

764
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: sitting down here. And turned around and I said, well,

765
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 1: I want Georgia to know that when she grows up

766
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,920
Speaker 1: and she has a partner, that her partner will do

767
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 1: their share around the house the next day at lunch,

768
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 1: because we're all there together, right, we're all staying the

769
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 1: same place. The next day at lunch. This guy got

770
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 1: up and was doing the dishes after lunch.

771
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 2: That is amazing.

772
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 1: And this is like a rusted on bullshit.

773
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 2: Well he text is one guy to just get up

774
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 2: and be like, dude, this is okay. So it's fine,

775
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 2: this is fine.

776
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 1: This is also providing for my family.

777
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

778
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is it's I have I have a thing

779
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 1: about bandit heel of being the best Australian down on television.

780
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: I mean he is, but it's a blue casting dog.

781
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 1: We can do better. But he's brilliant. He's brilliant.

782
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,959
Speaker 2: He's hungover and he's like, all right, kids, let's do it.

783
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 2: Like he's still kind of does everything that he does. Yeah,

784
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 2: it's amazing. I think like I've learned so much from

785
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 2: that show, Like I've learned so many like games and

786
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 2: how to kind of approach situations and how to discuss

787
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 2: situations and talk about certain situations where the kids ask

788
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 2: you something like a ship, how do I talk about that?

789
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 2: And I've got it from Bluie's amazing, just extraordinary.

790
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:42,280
Speaker 1: He worked on Pepper Pig for a couple of years

791
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,600
Speaker 1: and he's like, this isn't the kind of dad that

792
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 1: I am, and it's not the dad that any of

793
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,800
Speaker 1: my friends are. I'm not seeing that kind of dad anyway.

794
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 2: And he helps around that, like he does stuff. He's great,

795
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 2: the best. Yeah, he gets involved with the kids and everything,

796
00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 2: like it's a great dad's.

797
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: Gone and a freaking blank dude over. Yeah, it's just

798
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 1: every time I get a kick in the spleen in

799
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,040
Speaker 1: the middle of the night, I'm like, that's one less, that's.

800
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:12,760
Speaker 2: One Yeah, that's so true. That's so true. It's so fast.

801
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's great because then that makes it precious.

802
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 1: And that's I think for me. And to your point

803
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: earlier we were talking about the childbirth, we were talking

804
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 1: about you know, of course men are For a long time,

805
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,359
Speaker 1: men were excluded from being that as well. So it's

806
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 1: not because men didn't want to. They either their you know,

807
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 1: the pressure of their community or the pressure of their job.

808
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 1: They were excluded from that kind of connection with their

809
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:40,399
Speaker 1: own kids. And that is sad for them, and it's

810
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,839
Speaker 1: sad for every one of those kids. And it kind

811
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,319
Speaker 1: of makes sense that we have policies and stuff that

812
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: we have now because I'm probably one of the first

813
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 1: generations to be in the room and because for years

814
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 1: men no get out. You got to go over there

815
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,399
Speaker 1: and then your mental shop with us. Again. You look

816
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: at a baby, then you go to.

817
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 2: The path, and I think, yeah, especially in the beginning stages.

818
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 2: I think when you've just had a baby, like I know,

819
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if you felt like this, but Sam

820
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 2: was like I felt so helpless. It was like the

821
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 2: baby was just you know, a Harper, a Willow or

822
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 2: Charlie or whatever, like they're so dependent on the mother

823
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,959
Speaker 2: to feed to sleep, Like in I feel like there's

824
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 2: nothing I can do, so I'd like I think Sam's

825
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 2: bond with the girls even though he was there at

826
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 2: the birth, I think his bond with a girl started

827
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 2: once they started to kind of recognize dad and all

828
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 2: that kind of all that kind of stuff happened like

829
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 2: a few months in because other than that, he just

830
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 2: felt completely helpless. But I think being there at the

831
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 2: birth did help fill that little gap where he felt,

832
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't have a part in this

833
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,200
Speaker 2: once you've kind of given birth, like where to where

834
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 2: do I fit in? How do I help? And all

835
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 2: those kinds of things. But yeah, I think being at

836
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 2: the birth kind of made him go, Wow, this is

837
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 2: an incredible journey that we're going on together. And I

838
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 2: think that kind of helps the men, the fact that

839
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,319
Speaker 2: I know we're in this together. We're in together. You

840
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 2: might not have breasts or anything at the moment, but

841
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 2: you are there and you're doing everything that you should

842
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 2: be by supporting me.

843
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, for even though Yeah, the first couple of months,

844
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,320
Speaker 1: you're like getting eighty seven minutes of sleep if that, yeah,

845
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 1: in a row.

846
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you'd be lucky to get that, especially with

847
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:22,280
Speaker 2: other kids.

848
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, my cousin had three under three.

849
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 2: Oh that's tough.

850
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: She's like you just I don't remember like six years.

851
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all just a blurb. I don't remember sleeping

852
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 2: or just you're on auto pilot the entire time.

853
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: Just a moment away from Sajana to say that if

854
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 1: this show, of this episode is useful to you at all,

855
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,959
Speaker 1: please do share it with someone, Do tell somebody, telling

856
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 1: another person really helps us feed the kids, feed our kids,

857
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 1: and keep ruse over all of our heads. It really

858
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 1: does a lot to help us here at the show.

859
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: And so does this the ads that I'm about to

860
00:43:56,560 --> 00:44:07,799
Speaker 1: play back after the break. So you had Eve and

861
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 1: then she was what nine, I think when eight nine?

862
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 2: When?

863
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 1: But there was a point where for a kid who

864
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:18,720
Speaker 1: you know, school was a thing, but then you studied

865
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:22,239
Speaker 1: and you became a dental nurse. What point did you go,

866
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 1: there's there's more to this because you you you applied.

867
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 2: To UNI, and yeah, yeah, I went back to UNI.

868
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 2: I kind of went, I'm a single mum. This kid

869
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:36,880
Speaker 2: is you know, I'm I'm her role model. I'm the

870
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 2: person that's going to look up to. We don't have

871
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,919
Speaker 2: this like husband and wife, happy family, you know. Yeah,

872
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 2: you know, happily ever after thing. And I was her

873
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 2: role model, I was her everything, And I went, I

874
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 2: need to show her that this is not it. I

875
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 2: need to be that person who she can look up

876
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:56,800
Speaker 2: to and go like, doesn't matter what the situation is,

877
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 2: doesn't matter how old you are or you know your circumstances.

878
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 2: If you want to do something, you always have the

879
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 2: ability to do it and there's nothing to stop you

880
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 2: from doing it. So I had that in the back

881
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 2: of my mind as well as I don't know if

882
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 2: it's you know, growing up in a Macedonian kind of family,

883
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:14,359
Speaker 2: but I was very proud. I hated taking money from

884
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 2: my family for anything. Like I started working at a

885
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 2: really young age, like I was thirteen, working at a

886
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 2: hairdress and salon for like a couple of dollars an hour.

887
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:24,800
Speaker 2: But since then, I like, I never ask my parents

888
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 2: for money for anything, like the money. If I wanted

889
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:28,799
Speaker 2: to buy something, I'd buy it with the money that

890
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 2: I had. So I think that being proud, wanting to

891
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 2: be a good role model for Eve, and knowing that

892
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 2: I needed to do more to be financially kind of

893
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 2: give ourselves financial security within our little family meant that

894
00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:44,359
Speaker 2: I was going to have to go do something that

895
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 2: I wanted to do that was going to be really

896
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 2: freaking hard and would put pressure on me because I

897
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 2: had to still work at the same time. That was

898
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 2: that's what I needed to do. So I went, okay,

899
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 2: so let's do this science degree.

900
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, and what kind of science?

901
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:05,879
Speaker 2: Because I didn't think I could do it. I didn't

902
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,319
Speaker 2: think I could do it. So I chose something that

903
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 2: I thought I would love to do. This I will

904
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 2: never get in, I'll never be able to accomplish it

905
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 2: kind of thing. And so I applied for a few

906
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 2: different things, and that was like at at the top

907
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 2: there I went, I'm not going to get let's just

908
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,360
Speaker 2: kind of reach for the stars and see what happens.

909
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 2: But I got I was accepted, and I was surprised

910
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,359
Speaker 2: by it. Because you know, I've grown up, you know,

911
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 2: with being drilled into me that you can't do this,

912
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:40,319
Speaker 2: You're you're not enough, like what you know, You're not

913
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 2: smart enough, you don't have that kind of luck, like

914
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 2: this is not for you. So it was a real

915
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 2: surprise to me that I had gotten in. I was like, okay,

916
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 2: this was like a reach. I thought it'd be great

917
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:53,400
Speaker 2: if I can get it. I probably can't, but it

918
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 2: would be great. So but I got in and I

919
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 2: started it because I loved science. I was always asking

920
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 2: about things but never getting answer. Is always told to

921
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 2: be quiet, you know, It's just it is what it is.

922
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,359
Speaker 2: So I thought science is an incredible field, and I

923
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 2: love the idea of doing forensics and you know, being

924
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:12,879
Speaker 2: behind the scenes in a lab and all that kind

925
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 2: of stuff. So that was kind of a natural thing

926
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 2: for me to do that. And it was a way

927
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 2: of being in an industry like the police force without

928
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 2: being directly in the line of danger, you know. Having

929
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:27,919
Speaker 2: a child, now, I thought, I don't want to get

930
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 2: shot or something happened. I don't want to do like

931
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 2: night shift and everything. I've got a kid to remember.

932
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 2: So it was kind of an indirect way of kind

933
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 2: of still being a part of that.

934
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got to ask this. You know, there's a

935
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:45,280
Speaker 1: you said something before about uh don't ask questions. Yeah,

936
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 1: do pretty girls get told to shush moore?

937
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 2: I don't count myself as a pretty girl, but no,

938
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 2: I don't know. I was just like, I don't know,

939
00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 2: maybe like you wouldn't understand, oh, kind of don't ask

940
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 2: a question. Just it is what it.

941
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 1: Is and how did that and what does that do

942
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 1: inside you when you get told you don't you wouldn't understand.

943
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 2: Oh, it infuriates me. It infuriates me, and I just keep.

944
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 1: As it would for anybody.

945
00:48:14,520 --> 00:48:17,520
Speaker 2: It's so yeah, like it's so infuriating because like I

946
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 2: just want to know. Explain this to me. Explain like

947
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 2: I remember in high school and everything, even asking a

948
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 2: teacher you know why something is the way it is.

949
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 2: I think it was in science class or something. It's

950
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,759
Speaker 2: just it is what it is. That's it. Just don't

951
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 2: worry about it. Just know what you need to know,

952
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 2: and everything outside of it you don't need to know.

953
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, so stop asking questions.

954
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: I need a bit more context myself. But yeah, I

955
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 1: can only imagine that it'll be Yeah, infuriating. What's it

956
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,840
Speaker 1: like on a UNI not being twenty or eighteen.

957
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you feel so old. Like all of

958
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 2: my other peers in my all my lecture theaters and

959
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,360
Speaker 2: all my troops and everything, they were all young, straight

960
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:00,320
Speaker 2: out of high school. Like I didn't even know what

961
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 2: a PowerPoint was presentation. I was like, what, Like, I

962
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 2: haven't been in school for so many years. I had

963
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 2: no idea how to set one up or what to do.

964
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 2: And they were like, oh, yeah, you know. I was

965
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,879
Speaker 2: sitting there, going, what have I got myself into? All

966
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 2: these kids are young, They're going for drinks after classes

967
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 2: on Friday nights, they're all getting together, and I'm driving

968
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 2: home to look after my daughter or go to work

969
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 2: or something. So I thought, God, what have you got

970
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 2: yourself into? Like this is a lot, like have you

971
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 2: thought this through? But I really enjoyed it. I really

972
00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 2: enjoyed it. There's something I absolutely love about learning, and

973
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 2: when I'm interested in something, I love it. So yeah,

974
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 2: it was really hard to do. The theoretical side of

975
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 2: things when it came to exams was really tough for me.

976
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 2: But then you know, we'd go into a lab and

977
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 2: we'd do the practical side of things, which was like

978
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,319
Speaker 2: easy in second ature, I couldn't explain to you why

979
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:57,719
Speaker 2: I was doing what I was doing, but I knew

980
00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 2: I was doing it. I knew how to get there,

981
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 2: I knew while I was doing it. But then to

982
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,279
Speaker 2: articulate exactly what I had done, I'd be like, I

983
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 2: did it because that's how I did it. I just

984
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 2: did it like that. So I was never really good

985
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 2: at explaining the process of how I did something, but

986
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:15,799
Speaker 2: I knew in my head how I was doing it

987
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 2: while I was doing it exactly how to.

988
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 1: Mechanistic process is quite important.

989
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, well now I know how to do it, So like,

990
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 2: give me something to do it, and I'll do it

991
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:26,400
Speaker 2: for you. Don't ask me to explain to you how.

992
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 2: I don't think I had the patience to sit there

993
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:34,800
Speaker 2: and explain everything again. I mean, that's even me now,

994
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 2: if somebody asked me to explain something, I'm like, oh,

995
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 2: it's just like that, just do this and then that's it.

996
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's kind of come off from

997
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:46,799
Speaker 2: me asking questions of being to be quiet, don't ask

998
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 2: to do it, And now I'm somehow doing that to

999
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:54,560
Speaker 2: other people and in my life which is a horrible

1000
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:56,879
Speaker 2: thing to say, but I'm like, yeah, this is how

1001
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:58,800
Speaker 2: you do it. I know how to get to this situation.

1002
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 2: I know why this happened. But having to sit down

1003
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:04,839
Speaker 2: and write it, write it aloud, I just I just

1004
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 2: I don't have the patience and I can't sit there

1005
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 2: for that long.

1006
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 1: It was.

1007
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 2: It was really tough and I had to do it.

1008
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:11,839
Speaker 2: But I did it. I did it. I persevered.

1009
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: What would you say to people who were thinking about

1010
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 1: either maybe going to or completing a degree that they

1011
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:19,719
Speaker 1: might have stopped halfway because of kids.

1012
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 2: I can do it, Like I haven't used my degree

1013
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 2: properly to its full potential because I you know, I

1014
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,839
Speaker 2: was on the show and then I finished and I graduated,

1015
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 2: and then I was pregnant, so I haven't. But it's there.

1016
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 2: And the second I get an opportunity to do it,

1017
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:38,560
Speaker 2: to actually use it and be in a feel that

1018
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 2: I was really excited about, I'm going to do it.

1019
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:44,439
Speaker 2: And I think it's also achieving that and finishing it

1020
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:47,439
Speaker 2: like you feel like, wow, I did that. I did

1021
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:50,240
Speaker 2: it despite of everything that was going on at that time.

1022
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,239
Speaker 2: There was so much up in the air and so

1023
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 2: much going on. I did something that I wanted to do,

1024
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 2: and I've achieved it and I completed it, and it's

1025
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:00,399
Speaker 2: I think it's incredible, especially for somebody who a lot

1026
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 2: older and has younger children who maybe, you know, I

1027
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 2: think when you start a degree when you're young, you

1028
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 2: might not necessarily want to do that later. And it's

1029
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:12,399
Speaker 2: kind of telling them, you know, it's okay, you don't

1030
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 2: have to stick to this, you can change, but do it.

1031
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 2: You love it, now, let's do it, Let's complete it,

1032
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 2: and then you know, you can reassess at the end.

1033
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,359
Speaker 2: Like I think it's a bit scary for kids going

1034
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 2: to UNI and now they're like, oh my god, what

1035
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 2: do I want to do? This is it? If I

1036
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:28,759
Speaker 2: have to finish degree, this degree, and then that's it.

1037
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 2: I have to work in that field and that is that,

1038
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 2: which I don't think is necessarily the case. Like you've

1039
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 2: got it. It's an accomplishment, Like it's an incredible thing

1040
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 2: that you've done and you should be proud of it.

1041
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 2: So definitely do it.

1042
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 1: So you've the kids come along, and I can only

1043
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 1: imagine because you've been quite open with the various things

1044
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,520
Speaker 1: that happened, you know, complications and childbirth, but You've also

1045
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:56,359
Speaker 1: been quite open about mental health and stuff. Yeah, what

1046
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:57,799
Speaker 1: was it that was going on in your life that

1047
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 1: made you think something else is happening here?

1048
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 2: And I wonder what's going on with ADHD? So E've

1049
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 2: got diagnosed with ADHD. And we were told to watch

1050
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 2: a few things on YouTube to help educate the parents

1051
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 2: and everything, and we were sitting back watching her and

1052
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:17,000
Speaker 2: Sam and Eva like.

1053
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 1: That's often the way from what I know that's about.

1054
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 2: It's like you down to a T. And I was like,

1055
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 2: and then I went, oh, yeah, you know what. That

1056
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 2: explains a lot, like it explains why it's some situations

1057
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 2: I found difficult. Some situations I found really easy and

1058
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 2: like effortless kind of and I could focus really well

1059
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:40,759
Speaker 2: on something and I'd be one hundred percent into it,

1060
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:44,400
Speaker 2: and then other times I was like, oh I can't,

1061
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 2: I can't. I'm rereading this sentence ten times and I

1062
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 2: still can't take it in. I was like, why am

1063
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 2: I one minute like this and then the next minute

1064
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 2: like that. And it explained a lot of that, like

1065
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 2: it's when I've got an interest in something, like I'm

1066
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,520
Speaker 2: I'm going to be focused. I'm going to when zero

1067
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:09,360
Speaker 2: interest or the way it's being told to me, isn't

1068
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 2: catching my interest or being done in a way that

1069
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:17,879
Speaker 2: I find stimulating. I just kind of just.

1070
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:22,439
Speaker 1: For me shut down, and look, I can only speak

1071
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,320
Speaker 1: from myself, but some of the strategies that I got

1072
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:33,720
Speaker 1: post diagnosis have been really transformative. Wow, yeah, nothing's really different,

1073
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:35,879
Speaker 1: And I'm just wondering what changed for you? What changed

1074
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 1: for you after you got diagnosed.

1075
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 2: I think I understood myself better than I couldn't put

1076
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:46,240
Speaker 2: myself in a situation where I if I needed something

1077
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:50,400
Speaker 2: to be done, I knew what I had to do

1078
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:54,720
Speaker 2: to get to that situation. Like even writing the book,

1079
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:58,320
Speaker 2: like I'm leaving it to the eleventh hour, I'm leaving

1080
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:02,080
Speaker 2: it to like just literally, yeah, I got plenty of time.

1081
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,839
Speaker 2: I've got plenty of time, and I knew that I

1082
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:08,600
Speaker 2: had to be in the zone and focused, and the

1083
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 2: second somebody distracts me, that's it. I'm gone, Like I

1084
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 2: can't get back into focus or anything by the smallest thing.

1085
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 2: So that helped me with a book because I was like, Sam, look,

1086
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 2: I need to write this. You know, I'm not good

1087
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:26,439
Speaker 2: at like staying focused on things for a long time

1088
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,439
Speaker 2: unless I kind of get into it, and knowing that

1089
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:32,320
Speaker 2: Sam was like, Okay, I'm going to take the girls

1090
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,840
Speaker 2: down to our beach house in Mount Martha because I

1091
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 2: know that the slightest little distraction when you need to

1092
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 2: be in the zone and you've got a deadline is

1093
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 2: going to just kind of completely throw you off. So

1094
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,880
Speaker 2: understanding the way my brain worked and an understanding that

1095
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 2: I needed complete focus and no distractions allowed us to go, Okay, well,

1096
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:52,319
Speaker 2: this is how you've got to write the book. We

1097
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:55,280
Speaker 2: need to go down for the weekend, a few weekends

1098
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 2: in a row, so then you've got your time and

1099
00:55:57,239 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 2: you can get this done, because otherwise, I think I

1100
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 2: would have been struggling day after day trying to get

1101
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 2: something down on paper when I've got so many other

1102
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:10,320
Speaker 2: things distracted me in my life, because my mind's always

1103
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:12,320
Speaker 2: on a thousand other things.

1104
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:16,040
Speaker 1: Like yeah, oh yeah. But understanding that, I think has

1105
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 1: been really helpful to know I just need to put

1106
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,920
Speaker 1: some extra scaffolding around this so I can get it done.

1107
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 1: And some of that for me, some of that scaffling medication,

1108
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 1: which has been really great, but that's not it. The

1109
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 1: meds don't do the job, they don't do anything else.

1110
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:37,279
Speaker 1: Otherwise you know, you're just taking pharmaceutical speed. I really

1111
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:39,239
Speaker 1: didn't want to have it. I really want to have it.

1112
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:42,319
Speaker 1: And then I remember the first day I've been taking

1113
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:43,800
Speaker 1: the meds for a bit, and then I had a nap.

1114
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, then if I can fall asleep,

1115
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:51,359
Speaker 1: it's no wonder. My life was what it was before

1116
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 1: I stopped drinking and using. Yeah, I was self medicating. Yeah,

1117
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 1: I was trying to make everything, you know, make it

1118
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,560
Speaker 1: all okay, makes a lot more sense, you know, makes sense.

1119
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:02,320
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that I, you know, get out of

1120
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 1: jail free. Yeah, it just means I've got to put

1121
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:07,000
Speaker 1: a bit more work in. Yeah, because I now understand

1122
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 1: as well. All right, this is really infuriating for everybody

1123
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:09,880
Speaker 1: around me.

1124
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:13,280
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, yeah, this is this is a noise everybody.

1125
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,760
Speaker 5: These people even having yeah yeah, even having conversations with

1126
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:19,840
Speaker 5: people like Sam will be well, I'll start a conversation

1127
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:26,320
Speaker 5: and then he'll be like and I've completely lost my

1128
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 5: train of thought.

1129
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:28,520
Speaker 2: Like it'll be like, oh, CoA, please, I will see

1130
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 2: something else and then I'll start talking about that. He's like, focus, focus,

1131
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 2: what were you telling me? I was like, I don't know.

1132
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 2: That was a few minutes ago. It's gone. It's gone.

1133
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:40,440
Speaker 2: Especially if one of the kids interrupts me when I'm

1134
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 2: trying to tell him a story. Let's see, it's gone,

1135
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 2: it's like, oh, for God's sake, can you just finish

1136
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 2: the story? I'm like, oh, sorry, I can't. I don't

1137
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 2: remember what it is now. But my long term memories

1138
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,760
Speaker 2: really really good, Like I remember things that Sam and

1139
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 2: I did all like things in our child and my

1140
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:59,360
Speaker 2: childhood that have happened, and like it's great, but ask

1141
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:02,960
Speaker 2: me what I did to minutes ago, and it's just I.

1142
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 1: Got told I've got two time zones now and not now.

1143
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 2: That's true. It's true. Yeah, it's like we're deadlines. It's

1144
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 2: either drew now or if it's not well, then it's

1145
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 2: not getting It might as well not exist until it's now.

1146
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:20,120
Speaker 2: It needs to be. Now.

1147
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:23,040
Speaker 1: What do you hope people get from being able to

1148
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 1: see the actual well, you know enough of the story

1149
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,919
Speaker 1: for people to understand that there's there's more to it

1150
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 1: than just the greatest hits on the ground.

1151
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 2: I know. I just think I want other people out there,

1152
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 2: you know, who are finding finding it tough or having

1153
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 2: a tough time to kind of go Okay. You know,

1154
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 2: it doesn't come easy to everybody, because I think a

1155
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:47,080
Speaker 2: lot of people think, oh, you know, that was so

1156
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 2: easy for her when on the show me this guy,

1157
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 2: like I said earlier.

1158
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:55,560
Speaker 1: On, but how bloody archaic is that ping the keys

1159
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:57,680
Speaker 1: to my life over to Yeah?

1160
00:58:57,800 --> 00:59:00,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly exactly. And I think I lot of people

1161
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:02,680
Speaker 2: are like, oh, she's so lucky. She can just you know,

1162
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:05,000
Speaker 2: sit around and having lunches all day with her girlfriends,

1163
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:08,960
Speaker 2: which is not the case at all. I've always worked

1164
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,320
Speaker 2: really hard, and I've you know, there's been so many

1165
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 2: hurdles and kind of things that I've had to overcome,

1166
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 2: and so many things that have happened and happened, and

1167
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:20,720
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, this is I feel

1168
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 2: like I'm just going around in circles. This feels hopeless.

1169
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 2: This is why am I doing this? This is this

1170
00:59:26,960 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 2: is bullshit, Like this is I just don't see a

1171
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:33,560
Speaker 2: point to any of this and why I'm doing it.

1172
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:36,800
Speaker 2: Like so, I've felt all those really low lows when

1173
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 2: you're trying to get to a certain point and you're

1174
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:43,080
Speaker 2: met with just kind of war after war after war,

1175
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:46,680
Speaker 2: and you know, I just persevered. I kept going. I

1176
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 2: kept going, I'd have my breakdown. I'd cry, i'd scream,

1177
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 2: I'd do all that stuff and then pick myself up

1178
00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:55,120
Speaker 2: and go, No, you got to keep doing this. You've

1179
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 2: got to keep going like that. You don't have an option.

1180
00:59:57,440 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 2: You've got this kid here who is really on you.

1181
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 2: Get off you're our Stop feeling sorry for yourself and

1182
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:04,560
Speaker 2: actually do something.

1183
01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 1: What does it getting into action? What does it do

1184
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:08,880
Speaker 1: something do for that feeling of this is hopeless?

1185
01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:13,240
Speaker 2: I think it just it just push it pushes it down.

1186
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:16,240
Speaker 2: Like like I said, I'd have my like little mental breakdowns,

1187
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 2: I'd get it all out and i'd be like, Okay,

1188
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:19,920
Speaker 2: all right, this is it. We're going to do this.

1189
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,040
Speaker 2: And I kind of put myself in a in a

1190
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:25,560
Speaker 2: spot where nothing's stopping me. I don't care. I'm doing this.

1191
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 2: I'm just going to get through it, regardless of what's

1192
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:30,680
Speaker 2: going to happen. I don't care what you say. I

1193
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 2: don't care what you say. I'm doing this. And that

1194
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:36,920
Speaker 2: was it. But you I always had to kind of

1195
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:41,000
Speaker 2: really hit like rock bottom in order to do that,

1196
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:44,880
Speaker 2: and hitting rock bottom over and over and over again

1197
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 2: that I was ever going to go, no, I want

1198
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 2: more than this.

1199
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:50,600
Speaker 1: When the when the pain of staying the same.

1200
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:53,160
Speaker 2: Change exactly.

1201
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:58,360
Speaker 1: It sucks. Yeah, otherwise you're not driven the doors.

1202
01:00:58,440 --> 01:01:00,520
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think as a parent as well, like

1203
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 2: having a teenager and like a young adult, it's like

1204
01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:06,680
Speaker 2: you can tell them to not do something till till

1205
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 2: you're blue in the face, or to do something, but

1206
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:11,840
Speaker 2: they're gonna have to find out things the hard way

1207
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:14,440
Speaker 2: for themselves because it doesn't matter what anybody says until

1208
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:17,040
Speaker 2: you reach rock bottom. And like you said, the pain

1209
01:01:17,320 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 2: of kind of being down there outweighs what it's going

1210
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:24,760
Speaker 2: to take to get out of there. It's so easy

1211
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:27,880
Speaker 2: to give up. It's so easy, Like how easy is

1212
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 2: to go No, this is it? This is my life,

1213
01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 2: Like too many, so much crap just keeps coming up.

1214
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:37,360
Speaker 2: This is it, this is this is it. I just

1215
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 2: gotta kind of suck it up and it is what

1216
01:01:39,840 --> 01:01:42,760
Speaker 2: it is. Like that's so easy. Then you're stuck there.

1217
01:01:42,840 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's such an.

1218
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 2: Easy yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. That's that's the easiest thing

1219
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 2: to do, the hardest thing to do is just kind

1220
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:54,920
Speaker 2: of face your fears, face the fear of failing, and

1221
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:58,920
Speaker 2: just do it anyway, just do it.

1222
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:02,360
Speaker 1: I think that's those three words that make a good

1223
01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:05,920
Speaker 1: logo or a slogan for someone, just do it. I

1224
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 1: think there's something in that. I think there's something in that. Well, Ah,

1225
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:19,439
Speaker 1: gotta get Cannon Brooks on the phone. You're the best ever.

1226
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:25,560
Speaker 1: Thanks for coming around, Slush. That was Snajana Wood. Her

1227
01:02:25,560 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 1: book is called Untold, A Story of Love, Motherhood, Heartbreak

1228
01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 1: and change it out now. I'll put a link in

1229
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:33,880
Speaker 1: the show notes for you to go and check it out.

1230
01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:36,439
Speaker 1: It was good hearing her talk about going back to UNI,

1231
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:39,080
Speaker 1: in fact that she's saying it, and just a look

1232
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 1: on my face. If you watch it on YouTube, you'll

1233
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:43,560
Speaker 1: see my faces going. It really kind of tickled me.

1234
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 1: I might have some more thoughts about come Friday. But

1235
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:48,040
Speaker 1: until then, if you need anything at all, you can

1236
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:49,880
Speaker 1: find me at Orhiginsburg dot com. That's where the mailing

1237
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 1: list is as well. I'm great for you came to

1238
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:53,960
Speaker 1: the show. Thanks for being a part of it. I'll

1239
01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:56,840
Speaker 1: see a Friday. Here's the credits, possibly read by an

1240
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:59,840
Speaker 1: AI voice that does not have an Australian accent.

1241
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 6: This episode was brought to you by Andy Maer on

1242
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:08,160
Speaker 6: audio post production. Beck sayed on video post production Toehider

1243
01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:11,560
Speaker 6: on music. My producer is Bree Steele, and my executive

1244
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:15,120
Speaker 6: function assistant is Monica Chapman, for every episode ever. To

1245
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:17,160
Speaker 6: get on the mailing list or to get in touch

1246
01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:20,680
Speaker 6: through the contact form, head to Ashurginsburg dot com.

1247
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:21,600
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.