WEBVTT - 258. Years of grief, a complacent partner and a fading spark: Can we get it back?

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<v Speaker 1>Apologie production. I need your advice. Are you okay? What happened?

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<v Speaker 1>Promise it won't be too much? Bring it in.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome to our Bestie segment. Girl, my girl, this is

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<v Speaker 2>the place for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to Bestie episode. If you're a new here, welcome.

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<v Speaker 1>This is this time of the week where we talk

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<v Speaker 1>about one of your sticky situations you're in, where you

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<v Speaker 1>want real life besty advice, as if we would give

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<v Speaker 1>each other. So what have we got today?

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<v Speaker 2>All right, let's get into it. The name of this

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<v Speaker 2>episode is years of grief, a complacent partner, and a

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<v Speaker 2>fading spark. Can we get it back?

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<v Speaker 1>Girls?

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<v Speaker 2>I need some bestie advice. You always say it's never

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<v Speaker 2>too much and to bring it in here, So here goes.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been with my husband for twelve years and I

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<v Speaker 2>just feel my husband has become complacent. Our marriage seems

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<v Speaker 2>to be quite meh in my eyes, and I just

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<v Speaker 2>want more for myself and us both. I don't have

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<v Speaker 2>a date night. I almost find myself coaching him into

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<v Speaker 2>I as to what we should do. I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not in my feminine energy like you both always

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<v Speaker 2>talk about, because everything is always left up to me

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<v Speaker 2>It's to the point that I had a chat with

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<v Speaker 2>him and I was met with, well, you don't plan

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<v Speaker 2>the dates either. And I have told him so many

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<v Speaker 2>times that I want him to take the reins of

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<v Speaker 2>our relationship and show me that he really cares and

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<v Speaker 2>wants this marriage to work. I tell him weekly that

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<v Speaker 2>we need to date each other like it's our first

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<v Speaker 2>time meeting each other, like we promised in our vows.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't feel that I'm a priority. I find myself

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<v Speaker 2>doing most things around the house, while he is so

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<v Speaker 2>happy to just sit on his computer and do nothing

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<v Speaker 2>on the weekends. So I try to plan things, but

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<v Speaker 2>as soon as we come back home, he would rather

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<v Speaker 2>sit on the computer, and it drives me fucking mental.

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<v Speaker 2>We never used to be like this, and I genuinely

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<v Speaker 2>do love him, But at what point do I stop

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<v Speaker 2>making an effort when I hardly get the bare minimum back.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a huge fan of you girls.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a regular weekly listener to your podcast. I know

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<v Speaker 2>you always talk about having a chat, open vulnerable communication

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<v Speaker 2>and making that central time in your relationship to peel

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<v Speaker 2>back the layers to feel open vulnerable, But it almost

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<v Speaker 2>feels that we are just existing and definitely not thriving.

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<v Speaker 2>We have a surface level combo after work, how is

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<v Speaker 2>your day? Who did you work with today? But I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like all I get is closed answers back. It

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<v Speaker 2>does make me upset, and he knows it. But I

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<v Speaker 2>suppose what else can I say or do to get

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<v Speaker 2>him to listen. We have been through a lot in

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<v Speaker 2>the last four years, about marriage, losing my mom to cancer,

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<v Speaker 2>his mom is being an alcoholic, grief, closing my business

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<v Speaker 2>due to having an operation that being told from my surgeon,

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<v Speaker 2>I won't be able to return to my physical job

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<v Speaker 2>again after six years of study. My husband had a

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<v Speaker 2>motorbike accident last year and two injuries the year before that.

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<v Speaker 2>I just feel like our lives have quite literally spiraled.

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<v Speaker 2>I know a huge part of our breakdown comes down

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<v Speaker 2>to money. We have struggled for a really long time,

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<v Speaker 2>myself over a year needing work off unpaid, and my

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<v Speaker 2>husband's accidents and injuries needing months and months off work.

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<v Speaker 1>It's been so rough.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like we almost don't know how to be

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<v Speaker 2>happy because we are waiting for something else to go wrong,

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<v Speaker 2>because it's just one thing after another, and everyone in

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<v Speaker 2>our life keep saying it's time for the higher power

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<v Speaker 2>to give us a break, and it's been hard. Our

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<v Speaker 2>sex life is more so the real reason why I thought,

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<v Speaker 2>why not get vulnerable to you both. We used to

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<v Speaker 2>have a really great sex life. I would find myself

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<v Speaker 2>in the middle of the night waking up wanting him,

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<v Speaker 2>feeling spontaneous, touching each other in the kitchen while cooking, etc. However,

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<v Speaker 2>I've always struggled with him coming way too fast and

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<v Speaker 2>leaving me disappointed. He will kiss me get up out

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<v Speaker 2>of bed once he has done, and it drives me

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<v Speaker 2>wild because I could only imagine if I did this

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<v Speaker 2>to him, he would not be impressed, and so why

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<v Speaker 2>would you after you doing that to your wife. It

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<v Speaker 2>almost makes me feel a little silly as I get

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<v Speaker 2>up and put my clothes on. However, I tell myself,

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<v Speaker 2>why do I feel silly? I'm not going to beg him.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel it should be something that he should want

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<v Speaker 2>to do for me. We've tried things like being slower

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<v Speaker 2>and that just turns him on more as it does

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<v Speaker 2>for me, and I try not to touch him as

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<v Speaker 2>much in the lead up and four play.

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<v Speaker 1>I would really like.

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<v Speaker 2>Your advice as to what else we could try or

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<v Speaker 2>what I could say to him to see my side.

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<v Speaker 2>I have said things like you drive me wild when

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<v Speaker 2>you leave me hanging like that, or today, could we

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<v Speaker 2>go slower because dot dot dot. More so, I have said,

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<v Speaker 2>how would you like it for me to give you

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<v Speaker 2>a hand job and at the end just pull away?

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<v Speaker 2>He replied with sorry, love, I won't do that again,

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<v Speaker 2>but he does. I've tried to say a few things now,

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<v Speaker 2>but any advice would be appreciated.

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<v Speaker 1>Ah out goodness. Well, first of you, guys have been

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<v Speaker 1>through a lot. It's been like h hit after hit.

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<v Speaker 1>My question for you is is he willing? We always

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<v Speaker 1>come back to the willingness. I think if you're with

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<v Speaker 1>someone and they are not willing to do their part,

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<v Speaker 1>willing to take responsibility, willing to try new things, willing

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<v Speaker 1>to get help, willing to put effort in for me,

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<v Speaker 1>it's game over. Yeah. I know that sounds so brutal,

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<v Speaker 1>but honest to God, if Steve was not willing to

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<v Speaker 1>do his.

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<v Speaker 2>Part, I'll be out of there, I agree.

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<v Speaker 1>Otherwise you are literally going to continue the same patterns

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<v Speaker 1>and cycles, and you're going to be just as unhappy,

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<v Speaker 1>if not more unhappy, in six months to a year time.

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<v Speaker 1>Five years time, and in my head, the older I've

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<v Speaker 1>gotten in, the more grief I've gone through and lost

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<v Speaker 1>people and gone through something like, life is too fucking

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<v Speaker 1>short to not be happy. I agree, you've communicated and

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<v Speaker 1>you've tried everything, and you were not satisfied in love,

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<v Speaker 1>in sex, in variety, fun, connection, growth, all those things.

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<v Speaker 1>A few value those and they're not willing. What else

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<v Speaker 1>can you do? This is two people in a relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>You can't do this on your own. So you are

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<v Speaker 1>going to grow right apart from him, and the relationship's

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<v Speaker 1>already done in my head, whether you stay together or not.

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<v Speaker 1>The relationship sounds done, but I don't know how willing

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<v Speaker 1>he has, Like what have you requested of him? Have

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<v Speaker 1>you booked in some couples counseling? Have you said, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>this week, I'm doing date night. Next week you're doing

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<v Speaker 1>date night? And take turns like, is there ways have

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<v Speaker 1>you actually tried some things to bring it back in

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<v Speaker 1>or is it expectations that haven't been voiced enough. The

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<v Speaker 1>sex thing, it sounds like you're really trying, and that sucks.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm assuming he's not finishing her.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, ye, honestly, the sex thing, Like I know you

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<v Speaker 2>guys have been married for a long time, but that

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<v Speaker 2>would just make me feel so terrible, like that was

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<v Speaker 2>not No, It's definitely not it. And I can understand

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<v Speaker 2>how it makes you feel silly because I would feel

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<v Speaker 2>like not to put words in your mouth, but in

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<v Speaker 2>my own experience, and I can say this because I've

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<v Speaker 2>been through it, is feeling used, is feeling used, like oh,

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<v Speaker 2>like this is about him, not about me, Whereas sex

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<v Speaker 2>and intimacy is about togetherness, and it's about connection and

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<v Speaker 2>deepening that connection and creating safety and a really intimate

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<v Speaker 2>part of your relationship. I can't speak on the long

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<v Speaker 2>term relationship thing because I haven't done it for longer

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<v Speaker 2>than four years, So take this with a grain of salt.

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<v Speaker 2>But again it comes back to the willingness. See is

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<v Speaker 2>a relationship is a tanger It's a dance between two people.

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<v Speaker 2>And if only one person is driving a relationship forward,

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<v Speaker 2>is guaranteed to fail because you're going to be resentful

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<v Speaker 2>and you're going to be angry at that person for

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<v Speaker 2>not trying and you putting in all the effort and

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<v Speaker 2>then not getting anything in return. And I think women

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<v Speaker 2>get to this place where when they feel like they've

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<v Speaker 2>tried everything, they just switch off, and once they switch off,

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<v Speaker 2>you cannot get them back. And I experienced this in

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<v Speaker 2>my last relationship, where I was in the position that

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<v Speaker 2>you're in now and a very different and I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>saying it's anything the same, but I was the one

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<v Speaker 2>who was trying and putting in all the effort and

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<v Speaker 2>felt like I was the one moving the needle forward

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<v Speaker 2>because I wanted us to grow as a team, whereas

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<v Speaker 2>he just was showing me that he didn't have the

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<v Speaker 2>capacity and.

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<v Speaker 1>Also didn't want to.

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<v Speaker 2>He didn't want to because it's a capacity thing sometimes,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's also a want. I really do believe if

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<v Speaker 2>they wanted to, they would. And I understand the whole

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<v Speaker 2>concept and the conversation around being lenient with somebody's trauma,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's a different thing to be lenient with somebody's

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<v Speaker 2>trauma when they are willing yes, because they're saying, this

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<v Speaker 2>is what's coming up for me. I'm really struggling here,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm here with you, and I want to make

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<v Speaker 2>this work, so let's figure it out together, versus like

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<v Speaker 2>making excuses for someone's behavior as to why they're not

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<v Speaker 2>showing up and pouring into the relationship in the way

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<v Speaker 2>that you actually deserve to be met.

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<v Speaker 1>And I hear you on the using thing, was that

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<v Speaker 1>could be true for me? When I hear that a

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<v Speaker 1>man's not wanting to do that, I just think lazy

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<v Speaker 1>and selfish. I don't even think using. I'm just likeing lazy.

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<v Speaker 1>That's probably my previous words. So sure, And it could

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<v Speaker 1>be either, it could be both, it could be something else,

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<v Speaker 1>but I just hear like lazy and selfish, like you're

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<v Speaker 1>in your own head, Like imagine exactly what she said.

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<v Speaker 1>If she gave him a blowjover a hand job and

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<v Speaker 1>didn't actually finish him, he would just sit there and

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<v Speaker 1>be like, oh yeah, put my clothes back on, and

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<v Speaker 1>he's going to be hard as robbing, Like what the

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<v Speaker 1>fuck you're leaving me like this?

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<v Speaker 2>And then can it even be a conversation of him

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<v Speaker 2>giving you full play and like playing with you first

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<v Speaker 2>before you even touch him, and then going into sex

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<v Speaker 2>straight after that certain at least you're being taken care

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<v Speaker 2>of and then he can finish later, Oh he doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>want to.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's my question. That's what concerns me too, because

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<v Speaker 1>is you lazy and selfish? And also the desire thing

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<v Speaker 1>like does he not have a desire to do that

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<v Speaker 1>with you anymore? And this is where things change. Like

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<v Speaker 1>I always say, like, we're not made to fall in

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<v Speaker 1>love with one person, and sometimes the chapter's over and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying that is for you, but these are

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<v Speaker 1>questions I would be asking myself. Are we not aligned

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<v Speaker 1>anymore in our values? And I know you did your vows,

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<v Speaker 1>but things can change.

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<v Speaker 2>People change.

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<v Speaker 1>People change. It's what they desire, what they want, the

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<v Speaker 1>level of effort, the level of willingness, and that is

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<v Speaker 1>all things to look at and conversations to be had.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think when you're in a long term relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>and I can speak on this because I've been with

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<v Speaker 1>Steve for eighteen years now literally next week, eighteen years

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<v Speaker 1>in our anniversary, it's changed so fucking much. What I

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<v Speaker 1>needed and wanted and desired and crave from Steve when

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<v Speaker 1>I was nineteen when I met him to now thirty seven,

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<v Speaker 1>world's apart. And it's a continuous conversation of checking in.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's in day to day things, that's in sex life,

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<v Speaker 1>that's in work, that's in how we look at growth

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<v Speaker 1>together even like human needs. For example, Steve used to

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<v Speaker 1>always like variety was his number one thing, and like

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<v Speaker 1>the uncertainty, the excitement of life. He's the opposite now

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<v Speaker 1>it is all about certainty. He is not a big

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<v Speaker 1>risk taker anymore. Hetability, stability, family, home like. He's a

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<v Speaker 1>different man to he was five years ago. Not one's

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<v Speaker 1>bad or good or right or wrong. It's just different

0:09:49.761 --> 0:09:52.841
<v Speaker 1>and you have to adapt and check in and consistently

0:09:52.881 --> 0:09:55.401
<v Speaker 1>make sure that you guys are still on a path together.

0:09:55.441 --> 0:09:57.081
<v Speaker 1>And even if you weren't, it doesn't mean they're a

0:09:57.121 --> 0:10:00.801
<v Speaker 1>bad person. No, you're just wanting different things, and that's okay.

0:10:01.081 --> 0:10:02.881
<v Speaker 2>What highlights in all of this to me, even with

0:10:02.921 --> 0:10:05.841
<v Speaker 2>the sex stuff, for me, that shows a lack consideration,

0:10:06.641 --> 0:10:09.160
<v Speaker 2>and that's a bigger thing than just the physical ideas.

0:10:09.281 --> 0:10:11.721
<v Speaker 2>That to me shows character. And if I'm looking at

0:10:11.721 --> 0:10:15.161
<v Speaker 2>my life partner, do I value a partner who is

0:10:15.241 --> 0:10:18.641
<v Speaker 2>considerate of my feelings, my experience and also how I

0:10:18.681 --> 0:10:21.881
<v Speaker 2>feel in this relationship dynamic Because consideration, to me is

0:10:21.921 --> 0:10:24.401
<v Speaker 2>a huge value in relationships. And if it's not there,

0:10:24.441 --> 0:10:27.081
<v Speaker 2>like you feel it in these moments. And so I

0:10:27.161 --> 0:10:29.961
<v Speaker 2>wonder what the question is for you of you've changed,

0:10:30.201 --> 0:10:32.321
<v Speaker 2>You've gone through a lot of grief, What you want

0:10:32.361 --> 0:10:34.801
<v Speaker 2>now is different? So can you get clear on what

0:10:34.841 --> 0:10:36.681
<v Speaker 2>it is that you actually want and expect out of

0:10:36.681 --> 0:10:39.241
<v Speaker 2>a relationship now and what you need to move forward?

0:10:39.681 --> 0:10:42.241
<v Speaker 2>And checking in with yourself, like, is this relationship emulating

0:10:42.281 --> 0:10:44.201
<v Speaker 2>what it is that I want and value at this

0:10:44.321 --> 0:10:47.001
<v Speaker 2>stage of my life? Yes, at this version of myself?

0:10:47.361 --> 0:10:50.201
<v Speaker 2>And then is that the conversation asking him what his

0:10:50.441 --> 0:10:53.561
<v Speaker 2>expectations are for the relationship, what he wants and needs,

0:10:53.641 --> 0:10:55.321
<v Speaker 2>what you want and need? Bring them together and go

0:10:55.561 --> 0:10:57.481
<v Speaker 2>do we still aligne after all these years?

0:10:57.681 --> 0:10:59.361
<v Speaker 1>And it's a hard decision to make and it's a

0:10:59.401 --> 0:11:03.721
<v Speaker 1>hard conversation to have. It's also really hard to keep

0:11:03.721 --> 0:11:05.961
<v Speaker 1>doing what you're doing. Yeah, going to get worse if

0:11:05.961 --> 0:11:08.241
<v Speaker 1>you don't have these conversations and maybe make a big decision.

0:11:09.001 --> 0:11:11.001
<v Speaker 1>Horrible spot to be. And I really feel for you

0:11:11.001 --> 0:11:13.721
<v Speaker 1>what you're going through. But the willingness is my big question.

0:11:13.921 --> 0:11:16.081
<v Speaker 1>We don't have that context. It's hard for us to say.

0:11:16.121 --> 0:11:19.361
<v Speaker 1>But if he's not willing and wanting to change and

0:11:19.441 --> 0:11:21.241
<v Speaker 1>work with you, what do you do with that?

0:11:21.361 --> 0:11:21.561
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:11:21.601 --> 0:11:23.521
<v Speaker 1>You either stay and settle and accept that's just who

0:11:23.601 --> 0:11:24.921
<v Speaker 1>years and how things are going to be. And are

0:11:24.921 --> 0:11:28.841
<v Speaker 1>you okay, feeling unhappy like this and unsatisfied or do

0:11:28.841 --> 0:11:30.761
<v Speaker 1>you go actually like when not aligned anymore? And I

0:11:30.801 --> 0:11:32.841
<v Speaker 1>can love you, but not in this dynamic.

0:11:32.921 --> 0:11:34.881
<v Speaker 2>And also as well, the longer that you accept it,

0:11:34.921 --> 0:11:37.041
<v Speaker 2>the more that you teach yourself that that's all you deserve,

0:11:37.801 --> 0:11:39.881
<v Speaker 2>and when you're added to get out, yeah, for sure.

0:11:39.961 --> 0:11:42.041
<v Speaker 2>And also when it comes to like kids and being

0:11:42.041 --> 0:11:44.521
<v Speaker 2>a role model, you're also teaching them that that's the

0:11:44.561 --> 0:11:46.721
<v Speaker 2>standard that they will have to accept in their relationships too.

0:11:46.761 --> 0:11:48.641
<v Speaker 2>And I think that I imagine as a parent would be

0:11:48.681 --> 0:11:51.201
<v Speaker 2>a really hard pill to swallow, even more of a

0:11:51.201 --> 0:11:54.361
<v Speaker 2>really positive driver to be the best version of yourself

0:11:54.521 --> 0:11:56.321
<v Speaker 2>for you and also for them.

0:11:56.561 --> 0:12:00.001
<v Speaker 1>Definitely, that's a tough one. Sending you so much love,

0:12:00.081 --> 0:12:02.401
<v Speaker 1>and I just want you to know you're deserving of

0:12:02.481 --> 0:12:04.761
<v Speaker 1>getting all the love or your needs or your desires

0:12:04.801 --> 0:12:08.641
<v Speaker 1>met and having someone who is a willing teammate, a

0:12:08.681 --> 0:12:11.721
<v Speaker 1>willing player in this game of life that you're playing

0:12:11.721 --> 0:12:12.321
<v Speaker 1>with them.

0:12:12.481 --> 0:12:14.401
<v Speaker 2>And something else as well, I want you to give

0:12:14.401 --> 0:12:17.361
<v Speaker 2>yourself permission to want for more, like you're not wrong

0:12:17.441 --> 0:12:20.721
<v Speaker 2>for wanting more out of your dynamic. And something else

0:12:20.761 --> 0:12:23.041
<v Speaker 2>that just popped into my head is I want to

0:12:23.121 --> 0:12:26.921
<v Speaker 2>know if you are actually doing anything for yourself right now. Like, yes,

0:12:26.961 --> 0:12:29.081
<v Speaker 2>the relationship might not be where you want it to be,

0:12:29.121 --> 0:12:31.521
<v Speaker 2>and you're really leaning on that because it's your safe place.

0:12:31.921 --> 0:12:34.321
<v Speaker 2>But what can you instill in your life that's going

0:12:34.361 --> 0:12:37.001
<v Speaker 2>to bring you a little bit more fulfilment? Is it

0:12:37.201 --> 0:12:38.881
<v Speaker 2>a little bit more time with the girls? Is it

0:12:38.921 --> 0:12:41.481
<v Speaker 2>creating new friendships? Is it going to the yoga class

0:12:41.481 --> 0:12:43.761
<v Speaker 2>on the Saturday morning, is it going for a thirty

0:12:43.761 --> 0:12:46.201
<v Speaker 2>minute walk on a Monday morning before work? Like, what

0:12:46.241 --> 0:12:48.961
<v Speaker 2>are some things that you can start doing without anything

0:12:49.041 --> 0:12:52.241
<v Speaker 2>changing in your external world or relationships that you can

0:12:52.281 --> 0:12:54.161
<v Speaker 2>do for yourself that's going to help bring you back

0:12:54.241 --> 0:12:57.001
<v Speaker 2>up instead of relying on somebody else to be your

0:12:57.001 --> 0:13:00.081
<v Speaker 2>source of happiness. There's got to be some change within

0:13:00.161 --> 0:13:02.121
<v Speaker 2>you as well, because I think that's going to make

0:13:02.161 --> 0:13:05.921
<v Speaker 2>you a really resourceful person. And then maybe the way

0:13:05.921 --> 0:13:08.201
<v Speaker 2>that you show up in your relationship or the way

0:13:08.281 --> 0:13:11.401
<v Speaker 2>you attack this problem might actually you might find some

0:13:11.441 --> 0:13:13.401
<v Speaker 2>more opportunities that are kind of hiding in plain sight

0:13:13.441 --> 0:13:14.601
<v Speaker 2>of what to do next.

0:13:14.601 --> 0:13:16.761
<v Speaker 1>For sure, And it might also just give you the

0:13:16.761 --> 0:13:19.601
<v Speaker 1>stabilizers and the strength to decide this isn't for you.

0:13:19.681 --> 0:13:21.081
<v Speaker 1>And that you're going to be okay in your own

0:13:21.401 --> 0:13:23.361
<v Speaker 1>when you're in their energy of filling your own cup

0:13:23.441 --> 0:13:25.561
<v Speaker 1>up and being in alignment and doing things that make

0:13:25.601 --> 0:13:28.281
<v Speaker 1>you happy. I feel like you attract more people that

0:13:28.321 --> 0:13:31.201
<v Speaker 1>are on that same vibration as you. Yeah, including maybe

0:13:31.241 --> 0:13:33.881
<v Speaker 1>your future partner. A lot of questions to ask yourself

0:13:33.881 --> 0:13:35.921
<v Speaker 1>and a lot of conversations to have with him, a

0:13:35.961 --> 0:13:36.761
<v Speaker 1>lot to reflect on.

0:13:36.921 --> 0:13:40.481
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, send us a follow up and on a submission.

0:13:40.481 --> 0:13:42.521
<v Speaker 2>We would love to hear from you, and yeah, let

0:13:42.641 --> 0:13:45.001
<v Speaker 2>us know how you go, if you have the conversation,

0:13:45.201 --> 0:13:47.521
<v Speaker 2>what you talk about, or if you need a little

0:13:47.521 --> 0:13:49.721
<v Speaker 2>bit of support in how to have the conversation. Pop

0:13:49.721 --> 0:13:52.841
<v Speaker 2>that in the BESTIAS submission as well. Definitely, and I

0:13:52.881 --> 0:13:53.561
<v Speaker 2>can help you with that.

0:13:53.841 --> 0:13:56.961
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I don't think ever leave like a relationship until

0:13:56.961 --> 0:13:59.001
<v Speaker 1>you are one hundred percent you can reflect and go.

0:13:59.321 --> 0:14:01.681
<v Speaker 1>I have tried everything in my power to make this work,

0:14:01.801 --> 0:14:03.001
<v Speaker 1>because I think if you were to leave and you

0:14:03.081 --> 0:14:05.561
<v Speaker 1>haven't tried everything, you'd be like, oh, maybe I should

0:14:05.561 --> 0:14:07.721
<v Speaker 1>have booked counseling, and maybe I should have worted that differently,

0:14:07.721 --> 0:14:09.521
<v Speaker 1>and maybe I should have had more compassion here, or

0:14:09.561 --> 0:14:13.601
<v Speaker 1>maybe I could have done this. You know you've tried everything,

0:14:13.961 --> 0:14:17.881
<v Speaker 1>and you've been so willing, so considerate, so adaptable, and

0:14:17.921 --> 0:14:19.681
<v Speaker 1>they haven't met you. There, you know you can put

0:14:19.721 --> 0:14:21.601
<v Speaker 1>your hands with some guy. I really really try what it.

0:14:21.721 --> 0:14:24.161
<v Speaker 1>I love you, but I love me just as much,

0:14:24.161 --> 0:14:25.401
<v Speaker 1>and this isn't for me anymore.

0:14:26.081 --> 0:14:26.281
<v Speaker 2>Love.

0:14:26.561 --> 0:14:27.841
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it'sending you so much.

0:14:27.881 --> 0:14:28.081
<v Speaker 2>Love.

0:14:28.401 --> 0:14:30.841
<v Speaker 1>Bye. I see you guys Monday. Bye