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Speaker 1: This episode contains discussions about eating disorders and suicides, so

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Speaker 1: please take care while listening.

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Speaker 2: From the news room. I used to come to me. Gooday.

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Speaker 1: There, I'm Andrew Buckalow and today's episode is a very

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Speaker 1: very special one. You're gonna hear my interview with Matilda's

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Speaker 1: superstar Katrina Gory. She's been playing for Australia for more

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Speaker 1: than ten years and is regarded as one of our best.

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Speaker 2: Katrina Gory, she's fired the Matilda's in Front.

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Speaker 1: She's a midfield maestro, famous for her tenacity, her vision

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Speaker 1: and her heart. But behind the accolades and electrifying performances

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Speaker 1: is a story of resilience. In her recently released memoir,

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Speaker 1: Katrina opens up about the dark moments that have shaped her,

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Speaker 1: from battling and eating disorder and facing homophobia to navigating

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Speaker 1: crushing personal and professional losses.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna get emotional.

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Speaker 4: Here.

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Speaker 3: I just couldn't believe it.

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Speaker 1: Here's my chat with the Matilda, the mum of two

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Speaker 1: and the legend that is Katrina Gorriy. Katrina, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for chatting to news dot com dot Au.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: You have written a memoir.

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Speaker 1: It's called Katrina Gorry and Matilda story of football, motherhood

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Speaker 1: and breaking down barriers. I've always wondered, when you write

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Speaker 1: a memoir, who gets to come up with the title.

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Speaker 2: Is that you're the publisher?

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Speaker 3: I think it was actually the publisher.

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Speaker 4: I was trying to come up with some quirky thing

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Speaker 4: and they were like, absolutely not, let's just go with

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Speaker 4: Katrina Gory. So I actually quite like it. It's got

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Speaker 4: a nice color, nice to see my name.

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Speaker 2: It's an amazing book.

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Speaker 1: I want to start by asking you some questions about

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Speaker 1: your life off the pitch. A bit that I identified

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Speaker 1: with is where you write about your sexuality.

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Speaker 2: You're gay, I'm gay. Good on us?

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Speaker 3: Nice?

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Speaker 1: You have a very close relationship with your parents. But

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Speaker 1: you talk about when you came out to your mum

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Speaker 1: when you're a teenager, didn't quite get the response you

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Speaker 1: were hoping for.

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Speaker 2: Can you tell us about that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was tough.

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Speaker 4: My brother is also gay and he came out to

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Speaker 4: her and she was like, yeah, of course I knew.

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Speaker 4: And then when I did, it was like, no, you're not.

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Speaker 4: It just must be a phase you'll get through. It's fine,

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Speaker 4: blah blah, And I was like, okay, well is Daniel

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Speaker 4: just a phase then, but he was like, no, I knew,

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Speaker 4: you know, I knew from when he.

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Speaker 3: Was little, and I was like, okay.

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Speaker 4: But eventually when she saw that I was happy, she

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Speaker 4: kind of accepted it more, which made it a bit easier.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, again, you have a great relationship with your dad

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Speaker 1: from the sounds of it, but you have a partner, Clara,

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Speaker 1: you're now fiance. You met and fell in love with

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Speaker 1: her when you're over in Sweden. She rang your dad

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Speaker 1: to get his blessing when she wanted to propose to you.

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Speaker 1: Can you tell us what happened next?

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Speaker 4: So she rang him and he kind of just said,

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Speaker 4: you know, I can't give you my blessing. You know,

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Speaker 4: it's not in my beliefs. Katrina knows where I kind

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Speaker 4: of stand with this. We've had these discussions before, but

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Speaker 4: you know, I love you, I love your family, I

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Speaker 4: love you guys together, but yeah, I just can't give

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Speaker 4: you my blessing. And yeah, me and Clara we've sat

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Speaker 4: down and had big conversations about you know why and

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Speaker 4: his beliefs. And you know, I got brought up in

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Speaker 4: a Christian family. I went to church every Sunday, so

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Speaker 4: I always understood his beliefs, and I always understood, you know,

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Speaker 4: where he was at with it, and I didn't think

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Speaker 4: that he would, you know, change his mind on something

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Speaker 4: like that. But the one thing that I'm always grateful

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Speaker 4: for is he does love us. He loves us together,

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Speaker 4: He loves our kids, even though they weren't you know,

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Speaker 4: brought into the world and in the correct way, I guess.

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Speaker 4: And I think that's something that I always kind of

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Speaker 4: draw to and am grateful for because I know a

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Speaker 4: lot of other families haven't kind of been through the

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Speaker 4: same thing.

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Speaker 2: Just you kind of touched on religion.

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Speaker 3: There.

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Speaker 1: There was another Matilda's mum. Earlier this year, Sam Kerr

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Speaker 1: welcomed her first child. There was a guy called Lyle

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Speaker 1: Shelton from Family First. He released a statement in response

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Speaker 1: to Sam having a kid, saying no child should be

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Speaker 1: deliberately deprived of their father. Children aren't lifestyle accessories. They're

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Speaker 1: human beings with rights. How do you feel when you

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Speaker 1: hear comments like that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it is tough, I think, you know.

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Speaker 4: So when I look at my kids, you know, they're

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Speaker 4: full of love, they're full of happiness.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they don't have a dad, but they've got two moms. Half.

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Speaker 4: I think it's pretty cool that she's got two moms.

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Speaker 4: And I see that the life that they live. And

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Speaker 4: I've seen, you know, kids being brought up with a

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Speaker 4: mum and a dad and not treated the same way.

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Speaker 4: And I think, you know, if you're too healthy parents

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Speaker 4: and you can give them love and happiness, and you know,

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Speaker 4: what's the left to give? It shouldn't It shouldn't matter

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Speaker 4: if you're male or female. It should just matter if

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Speaker 4: you can love the child and give them everything that

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Speaker 4: they need. And I think, you know, that makes me

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Speaker 4: really upset that people are still you know, living in

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Speaker 4: that age and in that era and can't see, you know,

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Speaker 4: how loved these kids are. We spend so much money

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Speaker 4: just to have them. So you know, we've made that

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Speaker 4: decision together to be able to have the kids. We've

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Speaker 4: spent a lot of money to do it. And you know,

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Speaker 4: I think that says says more than anything.

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Speaker 2: Your daughter Harper is three, is that right? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Almost four? Fourteen.

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Speaker 4: I don't know how old she is anymore, how old

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Speaker 4: she acts, but yeah, future.

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Speaker 2: Ma Tilda player.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: Everyone always asked me that do I want her to

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Speaker 4: play football? You know, Football's given me so many memories.

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Speaker 4: It would be easy for me to teach her. But

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Speaker 4: at the end of the day, I just wanted to

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Speaker 4: play some sort of sport. I think, you know, sport

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Speaker 4: brings you so many good times, It brings you so

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Speaker 4: many memories, gives you so many good teammates. So I'd

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Speaker 4: love her to play any sport.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about your Matilda's career. You grew up all

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Speaker 1: you ever wanted to do was play for Australia. You

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Speaker 1: realize that dream in twenty twelve.

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Speaker 2: I think it was.

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Speaker 1: What is it like when you get to step out

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Speaker 1: on the peach and represent your country for the first time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the most yeah, surreal, incredible moment. You know,

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Speaker 4: something that you work so hard for, something that you

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Speaker 4: dream of as a little kid. You know, I'm sure

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Speaker 4: along the way I never thought that I'd probably do it.

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Speaker 4: And to finally step out in that pitch, I mean,

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Speaker 4: we're playing Japan, so I just chase shadows for about

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Speaker 4: thirty minutes.

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Speaker 3: But it was such a special moment.

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Speaker 4: I had Mum in the crowd with me, and yeah,

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Speaker 4: just I guess a bit of relief as well, that

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Speaker 4: all the hard work had kind of paid off the

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Speaker 4: sacrifices that you know, the family had made and everything

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Speaker 4: like that had kind of come together in that moment.

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Speaker 2: Emotional.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely emotional.

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Speaker 4: I think you know, you barely sleep after just kind

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Speaker 4: of reliving the moments on the pitch, the teammates you

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Speaker 4: got to share it with, you know, singing the national

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Speaker 4: anthem for the first time.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it is definitely emotional. Makes me emotional thinking about it.

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Speaker 1: To be honest, so many great football stories in this book.

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Speaker 1: I think you've played over one hundred games for the Matildas.

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Speaker 1: Now you write about when you were playing a game

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Speaker 1: in Texas and the team stayed at the most haunted

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Speaker 1: hotel in America.

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Speaker 2: Did any weird shit happen? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: It did, you know me, we were talking before.

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Speaker 4: I love horror movies, I love true crime, so I

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Speaker 4: kind of loved it.

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Speaker 3: Everyone else hated it.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, those weird things happening at three am, people

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Speaker 4: thinking that they were knocking on each other's doors. The

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Speaker 4: hotel staff showed us some footage of like things moving

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Speaker 4: at like three am, so they had caught it on footage,

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Speaker 4: which was pretty cool.

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Speaker 3: Probably wouldn't stay there again. I've done it.

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Speaker 2: Once.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, it was a cool experience for me, but

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Speaker 4: like I said, wouldn't do it again.

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Speaker 1: There's some very tough stories in here. And apologist bring

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Speaker 1: this up that the twenty sixteen Rio Olympics. This is

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Speaker 1: a story that comes up a fair bit in the book.

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Speaker 1: It was the quarterfinals, Australia was playing Brazil. It was

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Speaker 1: nil al at full time. It went to a penalty shootout.

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Speaker 1: You stepped up, had a chance to put Australia through

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Speaker 1: to the Semis. You unfortunately missed. We lost the game

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Speaker 1: and now it's Katrina gory I speaks to the semifinalsy missus.

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Speaker 2: It saved Barbara parts.

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Speaker 1: In a way. Must have been pretty crushing in the moment.

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Speaker 1: What do you remember from after that game?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, pretty disappointing, a lot of emotions. It was

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Speaker 4: my birthday, Marta had just missed. I thought what could

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Speaker 4: go wrong? Pretty much then everything kind of went wrong.

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Speaker 4: It was such a like It was a grueling game,

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Speaker 4: you know, we went one hundred and twenty minutes. We

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Speaker 4: could barely walk after the stadium was packed. It was

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Speaker 4: in Brazil against Brazil, such a special game for us.

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Speaker 4: We'd never you know, never got and out of a quarterfinal.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, as a player, it's something that you remember

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Speaker 4: for the rest of your career. It's something that's you know,

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Speaker 4: to go up and step up for a penalty. Again,

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Speaker 4: it is really tough, and it's probably a moment that

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Speaker 4: you know, you think about every time you step on

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Speaker 4: the field.

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Speaker 1: Right, But what about right after that game and do

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Speaker 1: you just go into the sheds?

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Speaker 2: Do you just cry? What happens?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, of course we were all really upset,

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Speaker 4: and I think Alana stepped up after that, and she

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Speaker 4: also missed, so I guess for me it was it

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Speaker 4: was kind of nice to have someone that had kind

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Speaker 4: of been through a similar thing, and you know, we

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Speaker 4: were able to lean lean on each other in that moment.

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Speaker 4: But you know, our teammates knew that it wasn't just

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Speaker 4: on us, so supportive of us, were there for us

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Speaker 4: through it all.

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Speaker 3: I think there's a photo of me.

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Speaker 4: In La was standing next to each other and she

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Speaker 4: was just holding me. But yeah, there was a lot

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Speaker 4: of emotion around the game. You know, it was something

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Speaker 4: that we wanted so badly, but yeah, I just couldn't

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Speaker 4: get over the line.

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Speaker 1: Another tough topic that you write about in the book

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Speaker 1: is that you developed an eating disorder at one stage

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Speaker 1: during your career. Why do you think that came about.

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Speaker 4: I was over in Japan. I loved my time there.

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Speaker 4: I was having a really good time. I'd just come

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Speaker 4: out of a really long relationship. My brother just gone

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Speaker 4: into rehab, which of course I was so happy for.

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Speaker 4: But at the same time, I felt like I just

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Speaker 4: lost control of all the things I knew. You know,

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Speaker 4: I was away from my family. I wasn't able to

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Speaker 4: really be there for them. I'd spent a lot of

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Speaker 4: time away from them, and I guess I just started

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Speaker 4: to control food. That's something that I knew, obviously knew

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Speaker 4: it impacted football, and yeah, spared really quickly.

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Speaker 2: How bad did it get?

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Speaker 1: Can you take us through some of those behaviors that

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Speaker 1: you were struggling with during that disorder?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean at the start, it was just you know,

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Speaker 4: kind of limiting my food, not to a certain extent,

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Speaker 4: but you know, I saw that it was affecting my

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Speaker 4: performance a little bit. But yeah, I just couldn't get

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Speaker 4: out of it. And I thought, you know, when I

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Speaker 4: go back to Australia after Japan, it'll be fine.

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Speaker 3: You know, I'm living with my.

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Speaker 4: Brother, you know, they'll be out of help or see

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Speaker 4: what I'm going through. But I guess I was able

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Speaker 4: to hide it pretty well, you know, And it just

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Speaker 4: went on and on for years. It was like, you know,

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Speaker 4: I'd restrict what I was eating and then I'd binge

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Speaker 4: and then you know, two to three days I wouldn't eat,

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Speaker 4: and it was just a huge OEO effect and you know,

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Speaker 4: obviously really impacting my football, more so impacting my mental state.

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Speaker 4: There was you know a lot of times I wouldn't

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Speaker 4: get out of bed. It got to a point where

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Speaker 4: I actually didn't want to live anymore because I didn't

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Speaker 4: know how to get out of it.

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Speaker 3: It just it felt like it was just such a

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Speaker 3: dark hole.

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Speaker 4: And I didn't really want to speak up about it

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Speaker 4: because I didn't know how people would take take it.

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Speaker 4: You know, you're an athlete, you know you're strong. You know,

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Speaker 4: people don't go through these things. And it wasn't until

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Speaker 4: you know, Michelle Hayman said to me, I can see

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Speaker 4: you're struggling, like I'm here for you, and you know,

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Speaker 4: she just sat there and listened and didn't like try

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Speaker 4: and help, She just you know, sat and listened and said, well,

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Speaker 4: I'm here for you, and you can tell me as

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Speaker 4: little or as much as you want. And eventually, when

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Speaker 4: I spoke about it and it just got it out there,

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Speaker 4: it made me feel so much better just at one person, you.

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Speaker 3: And then, you know, I.

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Speaker 4: Opened up to my family, started opening up to friends

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Speaker 4: and realizing how much more common it was, not just

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Speaker 4: in athletes, but you know, in everyday life and everyday people.

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Speaker 4: And yeah, eventually started seeing a psychologist and had a

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Speaker 4: few more good days and bad days, and Yeah, slowly

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Speaker 4: started to get myself out of it.

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Speaker 1: There'll be people watching this interview who are going through

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Speaker 1: a similar thing. What's your advice to them?

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Speaker 4: I think, Yeah, for me, I always felt like I

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Speaker 4: was going to be judged, especially being an athlete. You know,

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Speaker 4: you're always you know, meant to look a certain way

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Speaker 4: or perform a certain way. There's so much pressure on you.

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Speaker 4: And you know, slowly I realized that people aren't there

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Speaker 4: to judge, They're there to support and listen. And the

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Speaker 4: more I opened up about it, the more I realized

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Speaker 4: that there's a lot of people going through it. They

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Speaker 4: just don't really know who to talk to or what

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Speaker 4: to do. And Yeah, I think the biggest thing for

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Speaker 4: me was just opening up about it and knowing that

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Speaker 4: support was there.

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Speaker 1: If you're struggling with an eating disorder, you can call

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Speaker 1: it the Butterfly Foundation. On one eight hundred, double three

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Speaker 1: four six seven three. We'll be back with more from

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Speaker 1: Katrina in just a moment. Welcome back. You're listening to

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Speaker 1: my interview with Matilda superstar Katrina Gorri, who's just released

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Speaker 1: her memoir. So many emotional stories in the book. One

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Speaker 1: that actually made me cry. I was sitting on the

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Speaker 1: couch tearing up. It was about something that happened in

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Speaker 1: the twenty twenty three World Cup here in Australia. You

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Speaker 1: were in the rooms before the quarterfinal against France, and

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Speaker 1: a couple of days earlier, you had received some pretty

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Speaker 1: upsetting news from your partner Clara, who was overseas.

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Speaker 2: Can just talk about what Clara had told you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, really tough.

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Speaker 4: I was on the phone tour and she had gotten

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Speaker 4: a call and she missed it. So we're on FaceTime

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Speaker 4: and she was like, I think I just need to

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Speaker 4: take this call. And she called me back and she

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Speaker 4: said it's about my dad. I don't know what's happened.

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Speaker 4: And then she called me back again. She said, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: he's had a heart attack and died, and I'm going.

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Speaker 3: To get emotional. Yeah, I just couldn't believe it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's such an emotional story in the book because

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Speaker 1: obviously this was in the back of your mind. And

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Speaker 1: then you have to go out and play a quarter final,

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Speaker 1: but you share such a beautiful story. You decided to

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Speaker 1: tell one of your teammates before the game. Can you

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Speaker 1: just talk about what happened next?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I told one of my teammates. They obviously informed

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Speaker 4: the staff what had happened, and yeah, all the girls

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Speaker 4: just rallied behind me. It was a special, really special moment.

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Speaker 4: Then we're in the change rooms and everyone put the

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Speaker 4: black pants on.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna make me cry now, So we do have

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Speaker 2: some tissues. I might just grab them. There we go.

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Speaker 3: You had them for a reason, didn't you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And so everyone you know, started putting on the

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Speaker 4: black armbands for him, and I just turned around.

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Speaker 3: I just realized, like, this is a team.

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Speaker 1: That turned out to be a pretty incredible game. Obviously

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Speaker 1: a very emotional game. Once again, it went to penalties.

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Speaker 1: Just like the quarterfinals in the Olympics at Rio, you

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Speaker 1: had to step up and take a penalty knowing what

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Speaker 1: had happened in the past.

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Speaker 2: If you missed, we were out and Katrina.

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Speaker 1: Muscow you got it in the crowd erupted and there's

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Speaker 1: this amazing footage be running back to the girls in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the oval, kissing some strapping that was

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Speaker 1: on your wrists.

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Speaker 2: Can you just talk about the significance of that strapping.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think for me to step up for another

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Speaker 4: penalty in such a big moment, it was definitely hard.

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Speaker 4: But you know, I knew that I could do it.

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Speaker 4: You know, I had him watching over me in that moment,

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Speaker 4: and yeah, I felt like it was so dead silent

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Speaker 4: in the crowd. I can still feel it right now

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Speaker 4: every moment. I can see the grass moving. But yeah,

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Speaker 4: when it went in the back of the net, you know,

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Speaker 4: hearing the crowd are up was special. And then you know,

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Speaker 4: I had his name on my wrists and yeah, kiss

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Speaker 4: my wrists, and the rest is history.

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Speaker 1: It was an amazing moment. You've had so many amazing moments.

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Speaker 1: You're still playing for the Materidas. We came forth in

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Speaker 1: that World Cup in twenty twenty three. A year later,

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Speaker 1: a bit of a disappointing result in the Paris Olympics,

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Speaker 1: we didn't make the quarter finals. I say we like

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Speaker 1: I'm part of the team. The She Believes Cup didn't

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Speaker 1: go very well, we didn't win a game in that.

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Speaker 1: Australia is now sixteenth in the world rankings. Why do

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Speaker 1: you think we've had bit of a disappointing eighteen months.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean for us, the World Cup was you know,

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Speaker 4: the biggest tournament will ever play in, you know at home,

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Speaker 4: top favorites, i'd say, and the France game was such

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Speaker 4: a big game, Like emotionally, everything we had we put

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Speaker 4: into that game, and I think to be able to

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Speaker 4: back up, especially against a team like England, was going

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Speaker 4: to be really difficult.

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Speaker 3: And then you know, when you have like.

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Speaker 4: Consecutive big tournaments, it's really hard to get up for

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Speaker 4: another one to you know, feel the emotions of what

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Speaker 4: happened at the World Cup. To then have so much expectation,

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Speaker 4: not just on yourself, but you know, the whole of

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Speaker 4: Australia have this big expectations for you to go there

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Speaker 4: and do really well, and obviously the first game was

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Speaker 4: really disappointing. And then yeah, it's kind of a role

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Speaker 4: on effect. You know, you're always trying to get yourself up.

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Speaker 4: You just can't do it. And you see many athletes

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Speaker 4: kind of go through that. You know, they have the

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Speaker 4: highest of highs and then you know, for a couple

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Speaker 4: of years it's kind of the lowest of lows because

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Speaker 4: it takes so much energy, so much time, hard work

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Speaker 4: to get to, you know, a tournament like the World

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Speaker 4: Cup at home, and to try and back that up

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Speaker 4: is really difficult. So I think the last you know,

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Speaker 4: a couple of years, it's kind of been a rebuilding phase,

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Speaker 4: a learning phase for us. And yeah, hopefully we can

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Speaker 4: turn it all around at the Asian Cup at home.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's coming up in Australia next March. Can

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Speaker 1: we win it?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, I think you know, new coach come in. I

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Speaker 4: think Joe is going to be incredible for us. He's

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Speaker 4: coached a lot of good teams. He has a lot

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Speaker 4: of respect in amongst the girls already, which I think

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Speaker 4: is massive when you're coming into a team, you know,

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Speaker 4: with the tournament around the corner pretty much, he doesn't

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Speaker 4: have much time, but he knows a lot of the girls.

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Speaker 4: I think he has a great vision for our team.

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Speaker 4: So I think we can definitely win, and I think

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Speaker 4: we have the players to do it. We've now got

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Speaker 4: new younger players bled into the team now getting experienced.

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Speaker 4: So I think we're going to have a strong tea

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Speaker 4: and yeah, I can't wait.

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Speaker 1: Katrina, we barely scratch the surface of the stuff that

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Speaker 1: is in this book.

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Speaker 2: It is incredible.

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Speaker 1: It's called Katrina Gori and Matilda's Story of football, motherhood

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Speaker 1: and breaking down barriers. Congratulations on writing at Congratulations on

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Speaker 1: your career, and thank you so much for chatting to

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Speaker 1: news dot com Doda.

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Speaker 3: You thanks very much, and thanks for making me cry.

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Speaker 1: What an absolute legend she is. Hey, if you found

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Speaker 1: any of the topics covered in today's podcast triggering, you

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00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,360
Speaker 1: can get help by calling lifeline on thirteen eleven fourteen.

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Speaker 1: All Right, thank you so much for listening. I'll chat

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Speaker 1: to you again tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Follow or subscribe to from the newsroom wherever you get

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Speaker 2: your podcasts.