1 00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 1: Hi everyone, It's Carly Taylor here for this week's Mojo Monday. 2 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 1: So I was the other day, I will admit I 3 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 1: was scrolling on Instagram and I saw this post that 4 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: doctor Stephen Hayes had posted, and he is one of 5 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: the founders of ACT or Acceptance Commitment Therapy, and it said, 6 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: saying yes to life means saying yes to discomfort. And 7 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 1: I saved it because it's true right. Our willingness to 8 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,840 Speaker 1: say yes to discomfort, to allow it to show up, 9 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: to hang around for a while, shapes or can shape 10 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: what we choose to do and what we quietly choose 11 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: not to do. So discomfort is kind of like a gatekeeper. 12 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: If we're unwilling to feel awkward or uncertain or exposed 13 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 1: or judged or even alone, then a whole lot of 14 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 1: life stays on the other side of that gate. So 15 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 1: new experiences, new challenges, new relationships, personal growth, joy all 16 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:17,560 Speaker 1: locked behind the discomfort that we're not quite willing to feel. 17 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: And here's a personal example. So I have finally started 18 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: writing my book. And when I say finally, I mean. 19 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 2: This has been years of stalling and just dabbling and 20 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 2: stopping and overthinking and announcing I'm going to write a 21 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,119 Speaker 2: book and then not doing it. 22 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 1: And do you know what held me back? It's discomfort, 23 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 1: so specifically emotional discomfort, the discomfort of imposter syndrome, the 24 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 1: fear of being judged, what people will say about me. 25 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 1: That in a highly critical voice, that is so persuasive 26 00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: on steering life away from discomfort, because, let's face it, 27 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 1: if I don't write it, no one can critique it. 28 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: If I don't write it, I can't fail. If I 29 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,919 Speaker 1: don't write it, I don't have to face that it's 30 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: comforted people not liking it or not reading it, or 31 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: not even buying it. And that voice, that internal narrator 32 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: that we all have, can take over your life if 33 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,639 Speaker 1: you allow it to. And it's more than a narrator, 34 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 1: it's a dictator, or can be a dictator of our lives. 35 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: So maybe you've got your own version of this. Maybe 36 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:35,480 Speaker 1: there's something you're saying no to that there is really 37 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 1: a part of you that really wants to say yes, 38 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 1: but you convinced yourself that it's too hard. So maybe 39 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 1: starting to date again, which could feel really uncomfortable, or 40 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: having a hard conversation, or traveling on your own and 41 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: the uncertainty that brings, or changing careers or even learning 42 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: on a new language. But you keep saying no, no, 43 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: not because you don't want it deep down, but because 44 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: there's this uncertainty, and that means it's uncomfortable, and that 45 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 1: inner voice keeps finding really clever ways to talk you 46 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: out of it. And if that's you, here's my message 47 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: for today's Mojo Monday. Say yes anyway, say yes to 48 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 1: the discomfort, because chances are you're not actually saying no 49 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,959 Speaker 1: to whatever it is that you really want to do. 50 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: You're saying no to the discomfort that it brings. So 51 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 1: tell their inner voice to take a back seat while 52 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 1: you move forward with the racing heart or the shaky 53 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 1: hands or the voice that still says don't do it 54 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: because it's too hard. And even if it doesn't work out, 55 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: you've said yes to life and that matters. That's what 56 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: brings meaning into our lives. That's how we get out 57 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: of zombie land and really start to thrive. So these 58 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: days I say yes to more things. My inner voice 59 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: say is more than ever and it's still really uncomfortable. 60 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: But that discomforts only their short term, because life isn't 61 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,599 Speaker 1: about staying in your comfort zone and doing the same 62 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: thing every day and numbing the hard pit bits and 63 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 1: avoiding anything that's uncertain and feels uncomfortable, And don't get 64 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 1: caught up in the trap of I don't want to 65 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 1: do that if really what you're saying is I don't 66 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 1: want to feel the discomfort that comes with that, because 67 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: they are two very different things. But we're really good 68 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: at convincing ourselves otherwise. Life is lived through experience. It's 69 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 1: lived through showing up, through saying yes even when it 70 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 1: feels really hard. And here's something we don't talk enough about. 71 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 1: We don't have unlimited time. We act like we do, 72 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 1: but we don't. We don't get to wait forever to 73 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: feel ready or to live a good life. So whatever 74 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: it is that you want to do, whether it's booking 75 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: that trip or making that phone call or starting to 76 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:28,240 Speaker 1: date again, now is the time. Not because you have 77 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: mastered your fear or overcome your emotions, but because you're 78 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:38,799 Speaker 1: willing to feel those things and then do that thing anyway. 79 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,359 Speaker 1: So whatever it is for you, no matter how small, 80 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 1: move towards it this week. Expect the discomfort and see 81 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 1: what happens when you say yes to it. You might 82 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,360 Speaker 1: just feel more alive than you felt in a long time, 83 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: and that is growth. So thank you so much for 84 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,160 Speaker 1: joining me. Everyone have a great week and I will 85 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,720 Speaker 1: catch you next week. See ya.