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Speaker 1: Appoche Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am Neil the

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Speaker 2: Muscle comments and in this episode, I speak with Arabella

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Speaker 2: Delaboso straight from Jail. Exclusive interview.

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Speaker 1: Always say to me, Bella, it's not as young re Lah,

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Speaker 1: because that's rubber ship. It's sad because so many girls

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Speaker 1: and they have so much potential and they just like

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Speaker 1: grew down that path and they say, canness follow them? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's so many things they can use them as a sieve. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're like, you know, do you swing that way? Have

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Speaker 1: you ever? Would you ever? So you could, yeah, put

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Speaker 1: your banana in the freezer and they would put a

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Speaker 1: rubber glove and go here.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for coming in and giving me this. Might

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Speaker 2: as well say exclusive interview with you straight from being

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Speaker 2: the Queen of jail, if you want to go that way.

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Speaker 2: But I appreciate it you actually, you know, especially with

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Speaker 2: the time that we've known a you ever since we're Melbourne,

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Speaker 2: that we did that interview in Melbourne and then I

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Speaker 2: had to kind of hold it back and because of

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Speaker 2: the situation, and I'm glad that you you gave me

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Speaker 2: the opportunity to tell your story on the podcast. So

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Speaker 2: let's get it on the way. Okay. Let's let's go

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Speaker 2: back to the court trial, Okay, and then well then

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Speaker 2: we'll talk about that that fatal day on February the twelfth,

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Speaker 2: But let's talk about the court trial and how it

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Speaker 2: took effect on you and your life and how it's

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Speaker 2: been and then we'll get into the nitty gritty.

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Speaker 1: Sure. Yeah, look, February the twelfth is yeah today. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: I'll never forget. It was something that something you kind

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Speaker 1: of seen a movie. It was something that I never predicted.

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Speaker 1: It was never on the table. And you know, obviously

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Speaker 1: being in that courtroom. I mean, Neil, you were there

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Speaker 1: that day.

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Speaker 2: I mean when I came, when I came to support

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Speaker 2: you and help you out, you know, I didn't even

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Speaker 2: think that you're going to get put away. There was

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Speaker 2: there was no chance. It wasn't even in my mind.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it was never on the table. And to

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Speaker 1: think that, you know, he needed twenty minutes, and it

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Speaker 1: was twenty minutes to get everything together. It wasn't a

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Speaker 1: decision that needed to be made. I feel like the

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Speaker 1: magistrate had already made up his mind. And yeah, I

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Speaker 1: knew what he wanted to do, and that was to

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Speaker 1: send the coin behind bars. So I went from Glemina

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Speaker 1: Greens pretty quick.

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Speaker 2: But I remember that that day when we were and

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Speaker 2: when we were just I think it was we were

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Speaker 2: just waiting over the lunch and we were sitting outside

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Speaker 2: when to go back inside, and we both looked at

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Speaker 2: each other and said to text to each other to say, like,

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Speaker 2: this is not looking good.

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Speaker 1: I know I had this feeling and I said, I

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Speaker 1: think I remember saying to you a message to you,

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Speaker 1: and I said, I just I don't like this feeling.

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Speaker 1: I don't get a good feeling whatsoever. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I remember after the lunch break we went in and

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Speaker 1: we sat down and I looked at that little door

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Speaker 1: and you said, yeah, that's we're all bad. You know.

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Speaker 1: I had a bit of a laugh and then yeah,

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Speaker 1: you said, oh no that you know, you looked around

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Speaker 1: and you said, nah, it's not possible. You know, normally,

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Speaker 1: if that happens like people sat you know, if it's

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Speaker 1: the police and sheriffs and that start coming in, and

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Speaker 1: sure enough that for seconds the door opens, and I

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Speaker 1: think I got whiplashed that day, you know. And I

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Speaker 1: remember looking at you and asking you, is that is

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Speaker 1: that for me? And you're telling me, sh it's okay,

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Speaker 1: it's all good, you know, and my lawyers, you know,

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Speaker 1: he's whiplashing his head around and talking to the prosecutor

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Speaker 1: and yeah, I remember the magistrate tell me to stand up,

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Speaker 1: and then it was all a blur from there, you know.

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Speaker 1: All I remember from there on in was next minute,

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Speaker 1: I'm handcuffed and I'm looking at you as if to say, like, Neil,

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Speaker 1: what's going on? Like this was not meant to happen.

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Speaker 1: I just I couldn't believe it. I was in shock.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I think I think most of the

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Speaker 2: people in that court room were in shock. Even the

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Speaker 2: prosecutor was shocked. That were the sentence that you got,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean. But as I said, like,

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Speaker 2: it was just so unreal that what happened, Like we

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Speaker 2: talked about that door, and I remember that conversation like

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Speaker 2: it was yesterday, and then one by one, the sheriff

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Speaker 2: walked in, and then more guards walked in, and then

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Speaker 2: the police walked in, and it was just like you

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Speaker 2: kept looking at me, like, you know what, I just

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Speaker 2: didn't want you to turn around, Yeah, because I knew

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Speaker 2: if you turn around to look at them, you were

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Speaker 2: going to get shot. You know, you were going to

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Speaker 2: go to shock. Yeah, and then but when they stood up,

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Speaker 2: I could I could see the fear in your face

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Speaker 2: because I think we knew then.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, it was kind of like there was

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Speaker 1: no walking out of that court room. There was no

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Speaker 1: possible chance.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: I was handcuffed and taken through that door, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: went downstairs, and obviously I tried to appeal it, tried

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Speaker 1: to get bail, but they refused bail. And then yeah,

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Speaker 1: I had to go to silver Water. Like I didn't

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Speaker 1: even know where I was going, what was going on,

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Speaker 1: Like I just had I had no emotions, Like I

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Speaker 1: couldn't even cry. I just couldn't believe what was going on?

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Speaker 2: What was it? What was it like on for that door?

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Speaker 2: Like after I remember looking at the door and it opened,

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Speaker 2: you went in and it just closed. It's just like

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Speaker 2: and then it was You're gone. That was it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I'm they're helping me down the stairs because

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Speaker 1: I'm in heels, I'm handcuffed, sh had like a chanel.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. And then you know there's obviously a

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Speaker 1: specific way that they put handcuffs on and they're telling me, oh,

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Speaker 1: you've never had handcuffs on. I'm not these funs far out, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I just I just can't believe it. And I'm

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Speaker 1: waiting down in that holding cell and there's just so

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Speaker 1: many people down there. I never even knew it existed, honestly,

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Speaker 1: you know, never been in this position before. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then you know, telling me to take my clothes

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Speaker 1: off and they needed to search me, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what is going on? Like this is just wild? And

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Speaker 1: I was genuinely hoping to get out on bail and yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was that was no an option. I obviously had

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Speaker 1: a residence that I was able to stay out in Sydney.

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Speaker 1: Was more than happy to put in up for surety.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, that we thought was going to work with you.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it was, but yeah, the magistrate

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Speaker 1: just didn't buy into the Queen just didn't. He had

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Speaker 1: a biased opinion, and yeah, I think he firmly stuck

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Speaker 1: to it. So and sure enough I'm on a truck.

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Speaker 2: How did that feel? Going on the truck, the prison

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Speaker 2: truck going to silver Water?

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Speaker 1: It was the most uncomfortablest ride. And jeez, I wish

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know where I was. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: his like males yelling out there's a whole girl on

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Speaker 1: the truck. What's your mean? And I'm like, what the

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Speaker 1: fuck A mean? You know, I'm like, don't talk to him,

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Speaker 1: just don't say anything. You know. They're like, are you shy?

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Speaker 1: Don't be shy, pretty girl. I'm like, oh no, I can't.

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Speaker 1: What have I got myself into? Like? Yeah, just crazy?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely crazy?

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Speaker 2: But how how was your mental state like going through it?

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Speaker 1: Like it was hard?

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Speaker 2: Did you feel like it was wasn't real at this

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Speaker 2: whole point in time?

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Speaker 1: You know, Neil, I felt like I was in a movie.

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Speaker 1: I was like, am I, you know, auditioning for something

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Speaker 1: like because it just didn't seem real. It's like it's yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was. Mentally it was hard. Like I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to sit here and say like it was it was

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Speaker 1: a breeze because it wasn't. You know. I think I

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Speaker 1: remember calling you one time when I not long got

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Speaker 1: to silver Water and I was ball of my eyes out,

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Speaker 1: you know. But yeah, they obviously I was on the

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Speaker 1: truck and they go through like other stops, so they

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Speaker 1: go to other other courts I think, and then they

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Speaker 1: drop off. Yeah, so I think I went to silver

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Speaker 1: Water for a short time and then they sent me

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Speaker 1: up the coast, which was about an hour away. So

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Speaker 1: I was on the truck the whole time. And let's

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Speaker 1: just say they don't drive carefully, like I'm handcuffed and

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Speaker 1: I'm fucking swaying, like I try to hold up like

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Speaker 1: I've got my I've still got my heels on at

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Speaker 1: this point, and I'm like kicking them right into the

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Speaker 1: you know, to the wall, because I'm like, they're just gone.

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Speaker 1: They slam on the brakes and they go around corner

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Speaker 1: so quick, and yeah, I just I can't believe it.

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Speaker 2: How was it? What was your first night?

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Speaker 1: Like? So the first night, I ended up having like

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Speaker 1: size thirteen pair of thongs they had, so I'm walking

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Speaker 1: like a duck, you know, and I had like a

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Speaker 1: male singlet on pair of shorts. It was that big.

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Speaker 1: I had to like fold them up. I'm like, this

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Speaker 1: is not a vibe. So I had to wait. They

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Speaker 1: had to process me, and then they gave me a

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Speaker 1: room and anyways, God bless the guy. He's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you've got your own cell tonight, you know, And I'm like, oh, thanks,

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Speaker 1: you know, I think they've done me a solid. I

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Speaker 1: don't get my own room. But when I walked in there,

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Speaker 1: I was like, wow, are we this is next level?

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Speaker 1: Like the room was putrid, Like it was so disgusting.

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Speaker 1: There was just so much stuff on the walls. There

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Speaker 1: was blood, the floor was dirty, the toilet was steel.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, I'm not sitting on that, Like

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Speaker 1: there is no way realize who I am. I'm like, Wow,

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Speaker 1: they give you like a welcome pack, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: like welcome you know, tiniest little bit of soap that

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Speaker 1: wouldn't even wash my feet, you know, tiniest toothbrush, smallest

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Speaker 1: amount of toothpaste. He gave you like some sheets, and

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Speaker 1: the sheets weren't even fitted. So I was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't even know how it was not a fitted sheet.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, how the hell am I even meant to

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Speaker 1: make my bed? You know? And it was a camera' cell,

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Speaker 1: so I was like they could see like, got me

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Speaker 1: go into the bathroom, go into the toilet, and that

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Speaker 1: like was a bit confronting. So I remember I wore

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Speaker 1: my size thirteen thongs in the shower, you know. I

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Speaker 1: was like, looking at this floor, I was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't even know what's been in this room, and the

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Speaker 1: thing is because the camera was like pointing to the shower.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, how the hell am I going to get naked?

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Speaker 1: Hold it the whole my towel up and tried shower right.

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Speaker 1: So I've got the tiniest little bit of soap and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I could think, I don't drop the soap,

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Speaker 1: but come glad with me, you know. And I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to wash myself and hold the towel up at the

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Speaker 1: same time, and then the fucking water goes out on me.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know there was like limits. Yeah, so I'm

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Speaker 1: still bubbly. So I had to use the tap water

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Speaker 1: from the like sink to try and like cup it

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Speaker 1: and like just you know, try and wash myself. And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, this is no ideal. I had no pillow,

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Speaker 1: so I'm using a towel as a pillow. It was

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Speaker 1: the worst, like the worst night it was. I was,

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Speaker 1: and I couldn't sleep. I was like, what the hell

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Speaker 1: is going on? There was no curtains, so like the

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Speaker 1: lights beaming in on you. You're hearing so many like yeah,

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Speaker 1: so many people yelling and screaming and just the rattle of.

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Speaker 2: Key prison guards all right with you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they were actually all right. You know, they knew

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Speaker 1: who I was, so obviously a lot of the time

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Speaker 1: they were like POI. You know, they're yelling at POI

221
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Speaker 1: one p oh. I'm like, oh shit, what's going on?

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Speaker 1: You know. But it's a person of interest. So obviously

223
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Speaker 1: found that out when I got to silver Water, and

224
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Speaker 1: I ended up in silver Water the next day, so

225
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Speaker 1: from the coast where I was the next day, they'd

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Speaker 1: sent me down to silver Water and I was there

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Speaker 1: pretty much for four weeks. So it was a bit

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Speaker 1: of a process. The first night at silver Water because

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Speaker 1: they had no beds, so they had put me in protection.

230
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Speaker 1: Obviously been in the public eye, and it was quite

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Speaker 1: interesting because like a lot of people already knew, like

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Speaker 1: not knew who I was, but had seen me from somewhere.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, you look so familiar, like I've

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Speaker 1: seen you somewhere, you know, like I'm not from the area.

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Speaker 1: You know. They'd been in jail before, surely not, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I tried to act cool in that aspect without

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Speaker 1: showing any fear, because I felt the minute I showed

238
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Speaker 1: like being vulnerable and scared, they can take advance each

239
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Speaker 1: of you, you know. So yeah, the first night at

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Speaker 1: silver Water, they'd put me in a unit called MSU

241
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Speaker 1: and that was obviously where they only had beds available,

242
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Speaker 1: and it was the mental health unit, so it was

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Speaker 1: in a camera cell again. And that was hard, you know,

244
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Speaker 1: hearing people, you know, they're trying to commit suicide and

245
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Speaker 1: you know, two in the morning, and yeah, it was

246
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Speaker 1: it was hard. Yeah, And I'm thinking, Jesus, is this

247
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Speaker 1: is a nightmare, Like, surely this is not how it's

248
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Speaker 1: meant to be and what I'm meant to go through,

249
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Speaker 1: you know, by this.

250
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Speaker 2: Time, because because now you've spent the one night up

251
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Speaker 2: of the coast at the General, then you've been brought

252
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Speaker 2: down to silver Water. Now what's gone through your head?

253
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Speaker 2: Like are you are you are you thinking that you

254
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Speaker 2: can do go through this? Or you are you thinking anything?

255
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Speaker 2: Like it silly in your head that you you know

256
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Speaker 2: mentally that shit, I don't know if I can do

257
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Speaker 2: this anymore.

258
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was so Once obviously I was in silver Water,

259
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Speaker 1: I was able to make a call, you know, to home.

260
00:14:06,921 --> 00:14:09,801
Speaker 1: So once I made that call, jeez, I just bursted

261
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Speaker 1: into tears. And that was probably the first time that

262
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Speaker 1: I had cried. And I was like on the phone,

263
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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I can't do this, you know, I

264
00:14:18,321 --> 00:14:21,561
Speaker 1: just can't. Like it's not for me. I'm like, what

265
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Speaker 1: the fuck is going on? You know? Mentally I struggled,

266
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Speaker 1: you know, the first stint of it, I really struggled,

267
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Speaker 1: and it was I guess I had to find that

268
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Speaker 1: inner strength and it was hard. I was like, because

269
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Speaker 1: I knew that there was no getting out to a

270
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Speaker 1: certain degree, you know, because obviously they denied me bail.

271
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Speaker 1: So I was like, it's not possible. And my next

272
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Speaker 1: court date wasn't until eight weeks. So I was like,

273
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Speaker 1: I've got nowhere to go, Like, I can't do anything.

274
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Speaker 1: So I just had to find that that inner strength

275
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Speaker 1: to be able to get through it. And you know,

276
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Speaker 1: after get put into protection. I got in on the Wednesday.

277
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Speaker 1: By this Saturday, they had offered me a jail job.

278
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Speaker 2: The queen, what are you doing?

279
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Speaker 1: Like, so they come to my to my room and

280
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Speaker 1: my cell and I because I have first time in customer,

281
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Speaker 1: it was my first time in custody. They pair you

282
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Speaker 1: with somebody on credit to me that I did have

283
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Speaker 1: a lovely cell mate. It was her first time as well.

284
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Speaker 1: She was a lovely Aboriginal lady. And you know, we

285
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Speaker 1: were able to talk and and you know, tell stories

286
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Speaker 1: and try and keep each other together. So yeah, they

287
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Speaker 1: came to my door on this Saturday and they're like

288
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Speaker 1: del bouso and I was like ship, you know, I

289
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:51,121
Speaker 1: was like, oh god, They're like, do you want a job?

290
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Speaker 2: Do you want a job?

291
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Speaker 1: I was thinking not really, but it gets me by

292
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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh yeah, I'll work, you know.

293
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Speaker 1: And they're like to be a sweeper, and I was like, geez,

294
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Speaker 1: all I could think about was like like sweeping, you know,

295
00:16:06,921 --> 00:16:10,201
Speaker 1: like grooming ship. And I'm like, nah, I don't know

296
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Speaker 1: if I can do this, but I'm like I'm down

297
00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:15,401
Speaker 1: for it. But a sweeper was the most trusted role,

298
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Speaker 1: you know obviously in the jail, and it was feeding

299
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Speaker 1: in mates. It was you know, you're out on the compound,

300
00:16:21,321 --> 00:16:26,601
Speaker 1: you're doing their laundry. Yeah, you're cleaning cells. And you know,

301
00:16:26,721 --> 00:16:29,401
Speaker 1: the girls that I was with was they were kind

302
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Speaker 1: of rolling their eyes and like, oh god, we've got

303
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Speaker 1: a princess, you know. But credit to me, like I

304
00:16:36,001 --> 00:16:38,721
Speaker 1: was in there and I was doing what I had

305
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Speaker 1: to do. I was doing the girls washing, I was

306
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Speaker 1: feeding them, I was you know, cleaning cells. Cleaning toilets.

307
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Speaker 1: There's some pretty dirty girl the ship that I found.

308
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Speaker 1: I was like, wow, we I just couldn't right some

309
00:16:58,201 --> 00:17:01,921
Speaker 1: dirty underwear laying around and geez. I was like, what

310
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Speaker 1: have I got myself into? But yeah, and then it

311
00:17:04,921 --> 00:17:06,561
Speaker 1: was funny because one of the girls I was working

312
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Speaker 1: with should just briefly, you know, give a bit of

313
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Speaker 1: fink hole, which is the disinfectant, just give it a

314
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:14,001
Speaker 1: little scrub, and should always say to me, balad, it's

315
00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:17,600
Speaker 1: not the shangrilah because I'm scrubbing shit like I'm really

316
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Speaker 1: Because I just thought I would want somebody to come

317
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Speaker 1: in here feeling good, feeling freshet it over.

318
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Speaker 2: It's your bathroom.

319
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Speaker 1: I was like, maybe they don't want to wear their

320
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Speaker 1: thongs in the shower, you know like I did. But yeah,

321
00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:37,080
Speaker 1: I was really scrubbing for days and credit to me,

322
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Speaker 1: I did a good drus actually, like that was going

323
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Speaker 1: to promote me. I was only on like thirty six

324
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Speaker 1: dollars for the week. Mind, you can you believe that

325
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Speaker 1: I got out of bed for thirty six dollars for

326
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Speaker 1: the week.

327
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Speaker 2: Week?

328
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Speaker 1: But it wasn't about the money. It was about cleaning

329
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Speaker 1: the shit. What it was more mentally for me, it

330
00:18:09,761 --> 00:18:13,441
Speaker 1: was I was like, you know, no matter what I'm

331
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Speaker 1: going through, there's someone that I'm i'm meeting in there

332
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,480
Speaker 1: that is going through something ten times worse than what

333
00:18:22,521 --> 00:18:25,521
Speaker 1: I am. You know, I'm blessed that. You know, I've

334
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,161
Speaker 1: got a home back home in Melbourne. I've got my support,

335
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 1: I've got my loved ones. A lot of these women

336
00:18:31,001 --> 00:18:34,201
Speaker 1: in there don't have any anything like that. I didn't

337
00:18:34,201 --> 00:18:38,200
Speaker 1: ever know what a jail account was like, getting money

338
00:18:38,241 --> 00:18:40,961
Speaker 1: put in and making phone calls and things like that.

339
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,640
Speaker 1: Had I have not had the support that I did,

340
00:18:44,281 --> 00:18:47,681
Speaker 1: I don't know what I would have done because it's

341
00:18:47,761 --> 00:18:50,840
Speaker 1: hard in there and you feel so alone. So I

342
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,441
Speaker 1: could have an understanding of how these girls felt, and

343
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:58,001
Speaker 1: you know, it hit home a little and I was like, wow,

344
00:18:58,201 --> 00:19:02,400
Speaker 1: like I'm you don't realize how lucky you actually are

345
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,921
Speaker 1: until you put in to a situation, and like I was,

346
00:19:06,201 --> 00:19:10,561
Speaker 1: and yeah, I really, you know, I felt for them

347
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,521
Speaker 1: in there, but I had to do my time and

348
00:19:13,561 --> 00:19:15,721
Speaker 1: I had to stop feeling sorry for them, you know,

349
00:19:16,241 --> 00:19:19,920
Speaker 1: because it's hard because you form, I guess a bond

350
00:19:19,921 --> 00:19:22,400
Speaker 1: with them because I'm feeding them and I'm they're getting

351
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,961
Speaker 1: that rapport with me. I treated them with the utmost

352
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 1: respect because I would want that back, you know. So

353
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,201
Speaker 1: I'm not there to have a goal. I'm not there

354
00:19:31,201 --> 00:19:33,441
Speaker 1: to treat them poorly. Like if anything, I was there

355
00:19:33,441 --> 00:19:35,440
Speaker 1: to uplift them and I'd have a good chat with

356
00:19:35,481 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 1: them through the door. Look, some thought I was a

357
00:19:38,801 --> 00:19:39,921
Speaker 1: nice piece of meat, but.

358
00:19:41,921 --> 00:19:44,881
Speaker 2: I was like, geez us slap that on the sandwich.

359
00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 1: I was like that would call me the jail barbie,

360
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,761
Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, you look good in greens And

361
00:19:51,921 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 1: I was like I had to kind of yeah, like geez,

362
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,521
Speaker 1: you don't belong in here, but you look like a snack.

363
00:19:57,721 --> 00:20:02,440
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, geez, that's a wrong vending machine.

364
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,921
Speaker 2: With the prison guards and with a any prison guards that.

365
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,441
Speaker 1: Are sleazy or the yeah, like there was a few.

366
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:12,281
Speaker 2: Like I'm froming my silver water here c Yeah.

367
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,561
Speaker 1: And you could tell, you know, just comments i'd make

368
00:20:14,801 --> 00:20:18,160
Speaker 1: or I would get a lot of letters. So I

369
00:20:18,201 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 1: didn't know what these letters were. I didn't even know

370
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,880
Speaker 1: you could write letters. So I'm like I'm getting all this.

371
00:20:25,481 --> 00:20:28,041
Speaker 1: I guess you could say fan mail. So they've got

372
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 1: They're like the guards were like, oh, palla, you've got

373
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 1: more fan mail and they'll be reading it to me

374
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,000
Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, we how the hell do they

375
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 1: even like know that I'm in here, you know? But

376
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:42,441
Speaker 1: I guess with the media attention that came to and

377
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,880
Speaker 1: a lot of people in there can get access to

378
00:20:45,001 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 1: newspapers as well. So it wasn't about getting a hold

379
00:20:48,921 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: of a min number, which is like a number that

380
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,961
Speaker 1: I get given. They could just send it to silver

381
00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 1: Water with my name and I would get it. And

382
00:20:57,521 --> 00:21:01,041
Speaker 1: the amount of yeah letters I would get was just

383
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:06,880
Speaker 1: crazy photost photo I got letters, I got love letters,

384
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:09,921
Speaker 1: I got like confessing to me, I was like, wow,

385
00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:14,081
Speaker 1: this is just wild, you know. But yeah, guards some

386
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,361
Speaker 1: of them were you know, always like I don't even

387
00:21:17,441 --> 00:21:19,601
Speaker 1: know how to say it, but it just in certain

388
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 1: ways how they would kind of talk to you.

389
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,120
Speaker 2: They didn't you. It was more no, it's just.

390
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,801
Speaker 1: More sleazy if anything. Yeah, but I would just brush

391
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,640
Speaker 1: it off, you know, You're not there to entertain that

392
00:21:31,721 --> 00:21:33,801
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. I'm like, it's not for me.

393
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 2: What was the conditions like in Silk Order.

394
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,921
Speaker 1: Well, the area that I was in it was fairly new,

395
00:21:39,521 --> 00:21:42,880
Speaker 1: so it wasn't too bad. But it's a very small room,

396
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:47,201
Speaker 1: so I didn't have any power point in my room,

397
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 1: Like I couldn't do my hair, no nothing.

398
00:21:49,721 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 2: You know, why where are you going a Friday night?

399
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:55,001
Speaker 2: I was on.

400
00:22:00,201 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 1: Party, I guess. I was like, yeah, just like it

401
00:22:03,801 --> 00:22:07,401
Speaker 1: was such a small space, I can find space. And

402
00:22:07,481 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 1: because I was sharing, I was in a bunk bed,

403
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,640
Speaker 1: so of course I had to be on the top.

404
00:22:12,681 --> 00:22:15,120
Speaker 1: Bug felt like I was a fucking some sort of

405
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:19,361
Speaker 1: scout care And then the worst part about it was

406
00:22:20,281 --> 00:22:23,880
Speaker 1: I had to like go to the bathroom in front

407
00:22:24,201 --> 00:22:27,321
Speaker 1: of my cell mate, and if anyone's got stage fright,

408
00:22:27,441 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 1: it was me. Oh, I just I struggled, you know,

409
00:22:31,041 --> 00:22:34,281
Speaker 1: and because you know, when you're we you hear it.

410
00:22:34,761 --> 00:22:40,680
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, two, would you stop? Start? Stop?

411
00:22:40,681 --> 00:22:42,801
Speaker 1: Would you I'd try and put the toilet paper down,

412
00:22:43,041 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 1: So I put the heaps of toilet paper down and

413
00:22:45,241 --> 00:22:46,880
Speaker 1: then just try and do it on there so then

414
00:22:46,921 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 1: you wouldn't hear anything, so it'd be pretty quiet. So

415
00:22:49,521 --> 00:22:54,761
Speaker 1: there's obviously techniques that I was like, oh geez. And

416
00:22:54,801 --> 00:22:58,241
Speaker 1: then showering as well was another one, like yeah, having

417
00:22:58,241 --> 00:23:02,041
Speaker 1: to get naked in front of yeah, another woman.

418
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,521
Speaker 2: How is it doing the check when you get naked?

419
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:09,360
Speaker 2: That was that was that, like.

420
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 1: That was difficulty. I struggled with that. I think it

421
00:23:11,281 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 1: was more so because it was so invasive. I felt

422
00:23:14,281 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 1: like traumatized by it. Just having to get naked in

423
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,281
Speaker 1: front of two women behind you, and whether it be

424
00:23:21,321 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 1: women or men, you know, like you're in a vulnerable

425
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: situation and you've got somebody behind you that you can't

426
00:23:28,921 --> 00:23:30,721
Speaker 1: turn around and look at, you know, and you've got

427
00:23:30,721 --> 00:23:33,321
Speaker 1: somebody in front of you and having to take you know,

428
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:37,561
Speaker 1: your bra off, and yeah, you know, seeing naked and

429
00:23:37,561 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 1: then obviously taking our underwear off or down to knees

430
00:23:40,201 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 1: bending over. Yeah, it was a bit next level, and

431
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: I didn't really want visits because of that. So I'm

432
00:23:48,921 --> 00:23:51,681
Speaker 1: like people would be especially a lot of women would

433
00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:56,200
Speaker 1: be traumatized. I guess they've had traumatic experiences in the past,

434
00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:01,400
Speaker 1: so that would trigger a lot of their trauma. And yeah,

435
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:03,721
Speaker 1: that and I guess, you know, each to their own,

436
00:24:04,241 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 1: you know, obviously some people like the same sex. But

437
00:24:07,521 --> 00:24:09,721
Speaker 1: in saying that, like, you know, when you've got guards

438
00:24:09,761 --> 00:24:12,680
Speaker 1: that are eyebailing you up and down and looking at

439
00:24:12,681 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: your body and making comments like it's it makes you

440
00:24:15,721 --> 00:24:16,561
Speaker 1: very uneasy.

441
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,401
Speaker 2: What was the food like, Oh, geez.

442
00:24:22,801 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 1: Just like the changrila shit. Wow. Yeah. The food was

443
00:24:28,001 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 1: something else. So first of all, I started as a

444
00:24:30,281 --> 00:24:34,241
Speaker 1: vegetarian because I was like, I didn't know what to expect,

445
00:24:34,801 --> 00:24:37,640
Speaker 1: and so they come in like some sort of like

446
00:24:37,761 --> 00:24:42,241
Speaker 1: foil packaging, you know, and it's already heated up from

447
00:24:42,281 --> 00:24:46,321
Speaker 1: the Bay mariy. So it would depend on what you get.

448
00:24:46,441 --> 00:24:50,920
Speaker 1: But it wasn't ideal food. A lot of it looked

449
00:24:50,921 --> 00:24:54,801
Speaker 1: like mashed up could you pick where they brought now,

450
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,481
Speaker 1: whatever they gave you. So originally obviously I went vegetarian.

451
00:24:58,561 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 1: Then I was like, oh no, try like the normal food,

452
00:25:01,201 --> 00:25:03,481
Speaker 1: and I didn't like that either, So then I went

453
00:25:03,521 --> 00:25:05,801
Speaker 1: to the Bland diet. So that was a lot of

454
00:25:11,001 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: If I had a mobile phone, I would have been

455
00:25:14,921 --> 00:25:20,680
Speaker 1: for the queen induction. Yeah. For the food was it

456
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:25,721
Speaker 1: was definitely something else. But again as I progressed as

457
00:25:25,721 --> 00:25:29,081
Speaker 1: a move jails, it was it got a lot easier.

458
00:25:29,481 --> 00:25:32,441
Speaker 1: So I was, you know, by the end of it,

459
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:40,001
Speaker 1: I ended up having KPC or Porto's. Yeah, can you

460
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:46,360
Speaker 1: believe that? Yeah, pork roast like lamb rose, so I'll

461
00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:50,281
Speaker 1: get to that, but we'll go to that. Yeah, I

462
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: ended up like working again, I got promoted. They say

463
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,881
Speaker 1: that I can't do it. I showed them.

464
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:07,561
Speaker 2: I can't wait. That's so bye. By now you've been

465
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 2: in you've been inside the ward for four weeks. All right,

466
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:13,360
Speaker 2: we'll say four weeks. What was your mental state then?

467
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,761
Speaker 2: Had you come to terms that, Okay, I've got to

468
00:26:15,761 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 2: get through this. Now you know there's no way we

469
00:26:18,001 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 2: get now, there's no bail. Now that you know, my

470
00:26:21,761 --> 00:26:25,041
Speaker 2: lawyer's not nothing's happening there. So I've just got a

471
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:25,681
Speaker 2: knock all down.

472
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 1: Yeah. So what had happened was obviously they'd come to me.

473
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,001
Speaker 1: It was like four weeks and they said, you're they

474
00:26:32,001 --> 00:26:34,160
Speaker 1: don't give you any notice. And that's the thing in there.

475
00:26:34,201 --> 00:26:37,880
Speaker 1: It's the unknown, so said Doubles. So you're going on

476
00:26:37,961 --> 00:26:40,241
Speaker 1: the next truck to do Winnier. And I was like,

477
00:26:40,241 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 1: oh shit, I really struggle with change. Like so it

478
00:26:43,481 --> 00:26:46,001
Speaker 1: was the unknown for me again, and I'm like, oh wow,

479
00:26:46,481 --> 00:26:48,561
Speaker 1: like what's it going to be like? You know, I

480
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:53,401
Speaker 1: didn't want to go in that aspect. I was not.

481
00:26:53,441 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 2: Happy, But you're getting settled.

482
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was like, I'm all right where I am.

483
00:26:56,761 --> 00:26:59,321
Speaker 1: The kills are good, like everything's good, Like I'm working.

484
00:26:59,441 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 1: It's it's fine. And then they tried to put a

485
00:27:01,961 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 1: workhold on me, so they didn't want me to go

486
00:27:03,961 --> 00:27:06,801
Speaker 1: because they were like, hey, you you're getting along with everybody.

487
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,281
Speaker 1: But they had a program for me to do. So

488
00:27:10,441 --> 00:27:13,761
Speaker 1: in jail, obviously, depending on the offense, they give you

489
00:27:13,801 --> 00:27:17,561
Speaker 1: a program so you can learn you don't re offend,

490
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,921
Speaker 1: you know, things like that. But because I was in protection,

491
00:27:21,561 --> 00:27:26,361
Speaker 1: they don't do any programs. But they didn't realize when

492
00:27:26,441 --> 00:27:29,201
Speaker 1: they had put me through the program. So I ended

493
00:27:29,281 --> 00:27:32,721
Speaker 1: up going to doingier and I went to the Supermacs

494
00:27:32,801 --> 00:27:35,921
Speaker 1: area there, but I was only there for one week

495
00:27:35,961 --> 00:27:37,801
Speaker 1: and then they put me over to the old side

496
00:27:37,801 --> 00:27:40,561
Speaker 1: of the jail, so area two, and I was still

497
00:27:40,561 --> 00:27:43,161
Speaker 1: in protection there, but I was in a house, still

498
00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:46,281
Speaker 1: locked into my room. But that was a little bit

499
00:27:46,281 --> 00:27:50,120
Speaker 1: better in that aspect because so at silver Water, I

500
00:27:50,241 --> 00:27:52,521
Speaker 1: was only well because I worked. It was a bit

501
00:27:52,521 --> 00:27:56,321
Speaker 1: easier so I was allowed out. But you know, had

502
00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 1: I have not worked, it was really you know, twenty

503
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:01,881
Speaker 1: three hours in your room one hour oute, like it's

504
00:28:01,921 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 1: not ideal. So being so cooped, Yeah, it's not good

505
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: for you mentally, you know, and your head does.

506
00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:12,281
Speaker 2: Was that with yourself too? Yeah?

507
00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you don't get that sense of any privacy, no, nothing.

508
00:28:16,201 --> 00:28:19,001
Speaker 1: So I had to learn pretty quick to that what

509
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:19,561
Speaker 1: did you do.

510
00:28:19,561 --> 00:28:22,321
Speaker 2: For like the amount of hours in yourself? What would

511
00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:22,601
Speaker 2: you do?

512
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 1: Nothing? I couldn't, like there was nothing to do.

513
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,961
Speaker 2: Just sleep talk. Did you even try and keep fit?

514
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,521
Speaker 1: Or I couldn't, Like it was that small, Like I'm

515
00:28:33,561 --> 00:28:37,401
Speaker 1: talking so tiny, like I couldn't even skip in there.

516
00:28:37,481 --> 00:28:40,001
Speaker 1: Not that I could get a skipping rope, but the

517
00:28:40,121 --> 00:28:43,001
Speaker 1: things like, oh my god, that was another thing. So

518
00:28:43,361 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: the area that I was in at silver Water, I

519
00:28:46,041 --> 00:28:50,161
Speaker 1: wasn't even allowed a razor. So for four weeks I

520
00:28:50,201 --> 00:28:54,041
Speaker 1: was unable to shave like my arm pits, my legs.

521
00:28:55,001 --> 00:28:58,641
Speaker 1: I was like, holy shit. But I was lucky. I

522
00:28:58,641 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: think a week or so prior to me going to

523
00:29:00,761 --> 00:29:02,841
Speaker 1: do Wino, one of the guards was nice enough and

524
00:29:02,921 --> 00:29:05,801
Speaker 1: got me a fresh razor because I was like, these

525
00:29:06,081 --> 00:29:08,881
Speaker 1: hair grow in places I didn't even know no existence,

526
00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:13,601
Speaker 1: you know, I was like shit, oh yeah, and just

527
00:29:13,681 --> 00:29:18,361
Speaker 1: the I guess because you don't realize. But they can

528
00:29:18,401 --> 00:29:21,441
Speaker 1: get raisors like obviously the razors, so they can take

529
00:29:21,481 --> 00:29:26,441
Speaker 1: the blades out, they can cut themselves, they can swallow them. Yeah,

530
00:29:26,481 --> 00:29:28,801
Speaker 1: there's so many things they can use them as a sieve.

531
00:29:29,281 --> 00:29:35,401
Speaker 1: Like you don't realize until you're in that position. Yeah,

532
00:29:35,441 --> 00:29:39,121
Speaker 1: my one of my cell mates that I had at

533
00:29:39,121 --> 00:29:42,681
Speaker 1: the Winner, it was a pretty traumatic kind of experience

534
00:29:42,921 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 1: witnessing she'd swallowed some razor blades and did odd on

535
00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:54,321
Speaker 1: drugs and obviously myself and two other girls had found

536
00:29:54,401 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 1: her and it was just that natural instinct of just

537
00:29:58,561 --> 00:30:02,641
Speaker 1: rolling her over and putting my fingers down her throat.

538
00:30:03,761 --> 00:30:07,801
Speaker 1: It's so vivid, you know, And I really struggled to

539
00:30:07,841 --> 00:30:12,481
Speaker 1: be in that room after that had happened. Yeah, it

540
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:19,681
Speaker 1: was hard, you know, and thinking that life can't Yeah,

541
00:30:19,721 --> 00:30:21,921
Speaker 1: to think that life was so hard for her, that

542
00:30:21,921 --> 00:30:24,081
Speaker 1: that's what she felt that she had to do, you know,

543
00:30:25,081 --> 00:30:28,401
Speaker 1: and to think that they don't have much support in there.

544
00:30:28,841 --> 00:30:31,601
Speaker 1: You know, the whole point of jail is to just

545
00:30:31,681 --> 00:30:35,521
Speaker 1: hold you captive. Like they don't really give you much

546
00:30:35,561 --> 00:30:39,001
Speaker 1: support whatsoever. They're there to just make sure that you

547
00:30:39,081 --> 00:30:42,761
Speaker 1: stay in there, that you suffer and then that's it,

548
00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:44,961
Speaker 1: and they kind of hunch your times up, your times up.

549
00:30:45,361 --> 00:30:48,161
Speaker 1: But yeah, like sheps, I seen how they were made,

550
00:30:48,681 --> 00:30:54,401
Speaker 1: like I, you know, experienced again, you know, regarding just

551
00:30:54,481 --> 00:30:57,961
Speaker 1: over food. You know. Obviously we get a weekly buy

552
00:30:58,041 --> 00:31:02,161
Speaker 1: up and that's additional food apart from the jail food

553
00:31:02,161 --> 00:31:05,521
Speaker 1: that you get, so you can buy other eye items.

554
00:31:05,761 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 1: And obviously I buy protein bars and up and goes

555
00:31:09,161 --> 00:31:13,801
Speaker 1: protein things like that because I didn't really eat the

556
00:31:14,401 --> 00:31:15,081
Speaker 1: jail food.

557
00:31:15,441 --> 00:31:17,401
Speaker 2: Anyone put it on you take your food off you

558
00:31:17,521 --> 00:31:17,881
Speaker 2: or anything.

559
00:31:18,481 --> 00:31:21,361
Speaker 1: Yeah, had my cell mate, like, you know, she would

560
00:31:21,401 --> 00:31:24,761
Speaker 1: take my food, like I had no choice in the

561
00:31:24,801 --> 00:31:27,641
Speaker 1: matter in the aspect of like it was either should

562
00:31:28,201 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 1: like stab me or I give it my food. Like

563
00:31:32,121 --> 00:31:34,121
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll just give you my food, you know,

564
00:31:34,761 --> 00:31:38,321
Speaker 1: so anything should try and use my deodorant stick, you know.

565
00:31:38,401 --> 00:31:40,161
Speaker 1: And when I had seen if she used that, I

566
00:31:40,201 --> 00:31:41,601
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, no, I have to buy a new

567
00:31:41,601 --> 00:31:44,881
Speaker 1: one because I was so scared because hip bee obviously

568
00:31:44,921 --> 00:31:49,041
Speaker 1: in hipseea is so common and you know, sharing things

569
00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 1: is not you should you know.

570
00:31:51,801 --> 00:31:52,081
Speaker 2: Sorry.

571
00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:56,321
Speaker 1: Yeah, in the ends, I just you know, I just

572
00:31:56,401 --> 00:31:58,361
Speaker 1: let her. I was like, yeah, if you want to

573
00:31:58,361 --> 00:32:00,321
Speaker 1: eat it, do whatever. If you want to use my

574
00:32:00,361 --> 00:32:03,761
Speaker 1: shampoo condition, I'd just do it because I didn't want

575
00:32:03,841 --> 00:32:07,401
Speaker 1: to have any issues anybody. But she was a very troubled,

576
00:32:08,041 --> 00:32:10,561
Speaker 1: troubled person, you know, and had been in and out

577
00:32:10,641 --> 00:32:14,921
Speaker 1: of Jubie in a younger days, so it was challenging,

578
00:32:15,201 --> 00:32:18,161
Speaker 1: but at the same time, you know, I got through it.

579
00:32:18,841 --> 00:32:20,921
Speaker 2: How was it? How was it getting your first visit?

580
00:32:21,401 --> 00:32:23,161
Speaker 2: How was it? How was that? Oh?

581
00:32:23,361 --> 00:32:26,281
Speaker 1: Jeez? I still remember my first visit at silver Water

582
00:32:26,721 --> 00:32:30,841
Speaker 1: and obviously I was in protection and I reckon. I

583
00:32:30,881 --> 00:32:35,281
Speaker 1: had like seven guards take me to the visits and

584
00:32:35,481 --> 00:32:39,601
Speaker 1: I was in this white art smock, you know, like

585
00:32:40,441 --> 00:32:43,001
Speaker 1: and then they sit around you and there's no one

586
00:32:43,001 --> 00:32:46,161
Speaker 1: else in the room because you are in protection, and

587
00:32:46,201 --> 00:32:48,681
Speaker 1: they just like, you know, they listen and they watch you,

588
00:32:49,001 --> 00:32:53,401
Speaker 1: and it's just so uncomfortable. But these all female guards,

589
00:32:54,361 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: some male guards as well.

590
00:32:56,001 --> 00:32:56,281
Speaker 2: Yeah.

591
00:32:56,721 --> 00:33:00,281
Speaker 1: So but I was like, you know, I'm I was

592
00:33:00,401 --> 00:33:04,081
Speaker 1: glad to have those visits because had I have not,

593
00:33:04,401 --> 00:33:06,721
Speaker 1: I think I would have really struggled.

594
00:33:06,841 --> 00:33:07,481
Speaker 2: Was it emotional?

595
00:33:08,281 --> 00:33:11,481
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know what, it's not normal to say

596
00:33:12,561 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 1: goodbye to somebody, you know, you would normally kind of

597
00:33:15,481 --> 00:33:19,321
Speaker 1: go with them or whatever. But yeah, I wasn't able

598
00:33:19,361 --> 00:33:23,761
Speaker 1: to do that, and you know, having the support that

599
00:33:23,881 --> 00:33:29,361
Speaker 1: I did, yeah, it was just amazing. Yeah. No other

600
00:33:29,401 --> 00:33:32,361
Speaker 1: words to your first phone call, that was like, es,

601
00:33:36,201 --> 00:33:41,081
Speaker 1: how's the voice recorder. I was like, oh jeez, I

602
00:33:41,121 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 1: remember calling one of my friends and they ended up

603
00:33:43,721 --> 00:33:45,921
Speaker 1: hanging up on me because they thought it was a telemarketer.

604
00:33:47,441 --> 00:33:51,521
Speaker 1: I was like no, but yeah, I was glad that.

605
00:33:51,681 --> 00:33:53,841
Speaker 1: You know, you get ten numbers that you can have

606
00:33:55,001 --> 00:33:57,481
Speaker 1: on the phone, and you get you know, ten minute calls,

607
00:33:58,321 --> 00:34:00,881
Speaker 1: but jeez, they sting you for the calls. They're like

608
00:34:00,921 --> 00:34:04,081
Speaker 1: four dollars a call and for ten minutes, so you're

609
00:34:04,081 --> 00:34:06,841
Speaker 1: only allowed a water. It was I think eight hundred

610
00:34:06,881 --> 00:34:08,681
Speaker 1: dollars a month that you could spend and that was

611
00:34:08,681 --> 00:34:11,161
Speaker 1: on phone and buy up, and then like monthly, you'd

612
00:34:11,161 --> 00:34:13,601
Speaker 1: get a monthly buy up as well, so you good

613
00:34:13,641 --> 00:34:18,081
Speaker 1: bye sneakers or makeup, hair products whatever. But then once

614
00:34:18,121 --> 00:34:20,041
Speaker 1: I kind of got to do winnier, it was only

615
00:34:20,121 --> 00:34:22,401
Speaker 1: six hundred a months, so then I had to kind

616
00:34:22,441 --> 00:34:26,521
Speaker 1: of mellow down a little bit. But I'm not getting

617
00:34:26,521 --> 00:34:32,281
Speaker 1: an injured number, so that like that was easier. So

618
00:34:32,481 --> 00:34:35,561
Speaker 1: making a call was twenty five cents, you know, fuck

619
00:34:35,681 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 1: until I got caught all that. But it was good

620
00:34:38,441 --> 00:34:40,561
Speaker 1: while it lasted. You know, took him a few months

621
00:34:40,601 --> 00:34:42,761
Speaker 1: to realize that, yeah, I'd been using We.

622
00:34:42,801 --> 00:34:45,361
Speaker 2: Got to get out of silver water or yeah, like.

623
00:34:45,401 --> 00:34:48,041
Speaker 1: I think once well, it was the unknown, so I

624
00:34:48,161 --> 00:34:50,681
Speaker 1: was obviously a bit worried. But once I got to

625
00:34:50,721 --> 00:34:52,801
Speaker 1: de Winneer, yeah, it was a bit easier.

626
00:34:52,961 --> 00:34:56,241
Speaker 2: So it's outing the sticks.

627
00:34:56,681 --> 00:35:02,321
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's out in the middle of nowhere, it's wondering funds,

628
00:35:02,441 --> 00:35:07,641
Speaker 1: rabbits was running around and and then so obviously I

629
00:35:07,721 --> 00:35:10,201
Speaker 1: was able to be out on the compound. So the

630
00:35:10,241 --> 00:35:13,241
Speaker 1: main would be locked away for half an hour twelve

631
00:35:13,281 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: to twelve thirty and then us people in protection would

632
00:35:16,561 --> 00:35:19,121
Speaker 1: be able to rhyme, so we could go the post

633
00:35:19,201 --> 00:35:22,601
Speaker 1: box and send your mail, go to the clinic if

634
00:35:22,601 --> 00:35:25,881
Speaker 1: you needed your meds, or there's a walking track, so

635
00:35:26,121 --> 00:35:29,641
Speaker 1: I would genuinely just go for a walk and do that.

636
00:35:29,681 --> 00:35:32,041
Speaker 1: But it was a bit more like a little bit

637
00:35:32,041 --> 00:35:33,961
Speaker 1: more freedom and that aspect. And I was in a

638
00:35:34,041 --> 00:35:38,201
Speaker 1: house so there was a brevel bonus and a microwave.

639
00:35:38,401 --> 00:35:40,561
Speaker 1: I was like wow, and a fridge and freezer.

640
00:35:40,841 --> 00:35:41,561
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.

641
00:35:41,601 --> 00:35:43,961
Speaker 1: I was like, oh shit, okay, see what's up.

642
00:35:44,281 --> 00:35:44,921
Speaker 2: It's a bit.

643
00:35:46,041 --> 00:35:47,521
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm at the de winn In.

644
00:35:50,321 --> 00:35:53,041
Speaker 2: When you went there, where the were you recognized when

645
00:35:53,041 --> 00:35:53,641
Speaker 2: you went there?

646
00:35:53,881 --> 00:35:59,001
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so we obviously knew who I was, and

647
00:35:59,481 --> 00:36:03,841
Speaker 1: you know, in saying that, I felt respected, you know,

648
00:36:04,121 --> 00:36:08,561
Speaker 1: and say that, I don't expect it to be like,

649
00:36:08,961 --> 00:36:11,081
Speaker 1: you know, I'm the queen. Everyone should know me and

650
00:36:11,121 --> 00:36:13,761
Speaker 1: they should respect me. You know, I don't say that

651
00:36:13,801 --> 00:36:16,761
Speaker 1: at all. But if anything, you're in a place where

652
00:36:16,801 --> 00:36:20,881
Speaker 1: you're vulnerable, you're at your lowest, and to have girls

653
00:36:21,281 --> 00:36:24,801
Speaker 1: in there, not nobody judged you depending on what you did.

654
00:36:25,601 --> 00:36:29,041
Speaker 1: In my circumstance, nobody judged me. If anything, they were

655
00:36:29,761 --> 00:36:31,801
Speaker 1: you know, they were good with me, and I was

656
00:36:31,841 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: good with them. You know, I didn't I never once

657
00:36:35,721 --> 00:36:40,121
Speaker 1: started a fight or anything like that. I was doing

658
00:36:40,161 --> 00:36:42,561
Speaker 1: boxing training with some of the girls. I was you know,

659
00:36:43,481 --> 00:36:47,321
Speaker 1: I was doing training exercises like I was using my

660
00:36:47,441 --> 00:36:51,121
Speaker 1: hands as pads. They were absolutely you know, loving it.

661
00:36:51,201 --> 00:36:54,561
Speaker 1: And it was good to see, like to know that

662
00:36:54,841 --> 00:36:58,201
Speaker 1: I was able to give them something in there that

663
00:36:58,281 --> 00:37:01,721
Speaker 1: they they can't have. You know, we don't get boxing

664
00:37:01,721 --> 00:37:04,321
Speaker 1: gloves in there. You don't get a gym equipment, like

665
00:37:04,521 --> 00:37:08,281
Speaker 1: there's can't use dumbbells because I was using water bottles,

666
00:37:08,321 --> 00:37:12,601
Speaker 1: like big water bottles like as weights. And there's like stairs,

667
00:37:12,601 --> 00:37:15,041
Speaker 1: so going up and down the stairs and doing squats

668
00:37:15,041 --> 00:37:19,361
Speaker 1: and things like that. So that was good in that aspect.

669
00:37:19,481 --> 00:37:22,321
Speaker 1: You know, I was forming a bond with them, and

670
00:37:23,441 --> 00:37:26,201
Speaker 1: I felt that they could be open with me, and

671
00:37:27,241 --> 00:37:29,561
Speaker 1: you know, they would like they would come to me

672
00:37:29,601 --> 00:37:32,601
Speaker 1: and tell me, you know, their life story and what happened,

673
00:37:32,721 --> 00:37:36,281
Speaker 1: and they could be They're vulnerable, you know, so they

674
00:37:36,361 --> 00:37:38,841
Speaker 1: felt that they had some sort of safe place that

675
00:37:38,881 --> 00:37:41,401
Speaker 1: they could talk to me about it without being judged.

676
00:37:41,441 --> 00:37:43,681
Speaker 2: And was that hard though, Like even though some of

677
00:37:43,681 --> 00:37:47,921
Speaker 2: them might be you know, like some drug dealers, murderers whatever,

678
00:37:49,241 --> 00:37:50,961
Speaker 2: or even I don't know if there was any sexual

679
00:37:51,961 --> 00:37:53,761
Speaker 2: offenders in there, but was it hard to know what

680
00:37:53,801 --> 00:37:55,841
Speaker 2: they've done and still switch off to that?

681
00:37:56,201 --> 00:37:59,241
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know a lot of girls, especially in there,

682
00:37:59,321 --> 00:38:03,121
Speaker 1: so if you've you know, killed your child or fondled

683
00:38:03,161 --> 00:38:06,561
Speaker 1: with your child, like that's a big no. Yeah, So

684
00:38:06,841 --> 00:38:09,361
Speaker 1: a lot of people that it would be hard for

685
00:38:09,401 --> 00:38:12,121
Speaker 1: me because I don't know people's stories. But everyone seemed

686
00:38:12,121 --> 00:38:14,041
Speaker 1: to know everybody in there and what their crimes and

687
00:38:14,081 --> 00:38:18,601
Speaker 1: what they're in for. But for me, it was, Yeah,

688
00:38:18,601 --> 00:38:22,561
Speaker 1: I don't condone it, but I didn't know until halfway

689
00:38:22,601 --> 00:38:25,761
Speaker 1: down the track, you know. So it's one of those

690
00:38:25,801 --> 00:38:28,961
Speaker 1: things I took people based on face value, and they

691
00:38:29,001 --> 00:38:31,761
Speaker 1: are credit to them. They did the exact same. Like

692
00:38:31,801 --> 00:38:35,201
Speaker 1: they're not here to judge or any judge myself in

693
00:38:35,241 --> 00:38:39,001
Speaker 1: that matter, So I wasn't there to do the same.

694
00:38:39,201 --> 00:38:42,241
Speaker 1: Do I condone what they did? Some people know, but

695
00:38:43,001 --> 00:38:45,521
Speaker 1: they were only ever nice to me. So I can't

696
00:38:45,561 --> 00:38:47,561
Speaker 1: sit there and because you know a lot of girls

697
00:38:47,601 --> 00:38:49,441
Speaker 1: in there, if they don't like you or they've got

698
00:38:49,441 --> 00:38:53,001
Speaker 1: a problem with you, it's like high school shit. Like

699
00:38:53,041 --> 00:38:56,041
Speaker 1: there was always some sort of drama something going on.

700
00:38:56,161 --> 00:38:59,521
Speaker 1: Someone said this, someone done this, and then they try

701
00:38:59,521 --> 00:39:02,321
Speaker 1: and team up. And I wasn't about that, you know,

702
00:39:03,081 --> 00:39:05,521
Speaker 1: I was trying to be fair and reasonable. Know, at

703
00:39:05,561 --> 00:39:07,241
Speaker 1: the end of the day, they've done nothing wrong to me,

704
00:39:07,841 --> 00:39:09,921
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to not talk to them because

705
00:39:10,041 --> 00:39:11,521
Speaker 1: you don't talk to them. You know.

706
00:39:11,881 --> 00:39:14,321
Speaker 2: Was there many gangs formed in there, like with a

707
00:39:14,481 --> 00:39:17,761
Speaker 2: nationality stick together and there yeah, like you.

708
00:39:17,721 --> 00:39:20,481
Speaker 1: Know, obviously a lot of whites and a lot of coolies.

709
00:39:21,241 --> 00:39:23,521
Speaker 1: You know, they would all stick together, a lot of

710
00:39:23,881 --> 00:39:29,481
Speaker 1: ethnic people as well. So yeah, for me, I got

711
00:39:29,481 --> 00:39:33,921
Speaker 1: along with everybody. Yeah, it just never felt threatened obviously

712
00:39:33,961 --> 00:39:37,041
Speaker 1: at the start, you know, I felt a bit intimidated

713
00:39:37,041 --> 00:39:40,681
Speaker 1: and a bit threatened, but once I progressed, like I

714
00:39:40,761 --> 00:39:44,801
Speaker 1: felt like I was very respected, which is a nice feeling,

715
00:39:44,881 --> 00:39:46,481
Speaker 1: especially in a position that I was.

716
00:39:46,481 --> 00:39:48,321
Speaker 2: In, because I remember some of the phone calls when

717
00:39:48,321 --> 00:39:52,601
Speaker 2: I was keeping a touch. From the start, I could

718
00:39:52,601 --> 00:39:56,441
Speaker 2: hear it in your voice that you were that you

719
00:39:56,121 --> 00:39:58,921
Speaker 2: you you were Your mental state wasn't good. It's a

720
00:39:58,921 --> 00:40:00,601
Speaker 2: hard situation because you know you've got ten minutes on

721
00:40:00,601 --> 00:40:04,121
Speaker 2: the phone, and so all you want to do is

722
00:40:04,161 --> 00:40:07,161
Speaker 2: just listen to the problems what you're going through and

723
00:40:07,241 --> 00:40:11,641
Speaker 2: try and make you stronger. And then gradually, gradually as

724
00:40:11,681 --> 00:40:15,601
Speaker 2: they went on, I could feel that, Okay, you've you've

725
00:40:15,601 --> 00:40:17,601
Speaker 2: come to terms of what you've done and how you

726
00:40:17,721 --> 00:40:20,321
Speaker 2: got to situate. You go about this till you get released,

727
00:40:20,881 --> 00:40:22,761
Speaker 2: and then by the end of it, it was like

728
00:40:22,801 --> 00:40:25,121
Speaker 2: you were running the fucking jail, you know what I mean?

729
00:40:25,161 --> 00:40:27,561
Speaker 2: Like it was like, what the fuck We've gone from

730
00:40:27,561 --> 00:40:29,201
Speaker 2: this to this now? You know what I mean? Oh, yeah,

731
00:40:29,241 --> 00:40:30,961
Speaker 2: she's doing this for me and that she's doing that

732
00:40:31,001 --> 00:40:31,921
Speaker 2: for me, and it's like what.

733
00:40:33,561 --> 00:40:35,761
Speaker 1: By the end of it, I was my bed was

734
00:40:35,801 --> 00:40:38,121
Speaker 1: being made because I didn't know how to make my bed.

735
00:40:39,641 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 1: My hair was being washed every Sunday. The girls would

736
00:40:43,041 --> 00:40:45,961
Speaker 1: do that and they'd cook me dinners. So every night

737
00:40:46,001 --> 00:40:49,121
Speaker 1: I'd get my dinner cooked for me. Yeah, it was

738
00:40:49,681 --> 00:40:52,601
Speaker 1: my washing sometimes you know that hang it out or

739
00:40:52,601 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 1: put it in the dryer once it had been washed.

740
00:40:55,481 --> 00:41:01,881
Speaker 1: So yeah, to say that live like a crad. After that,

741
00:41:03,201 --> 00:41:05,801
Speaker 1: it was kind of the last you know, eight weeks,

742
00:41:05,841 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, wee this. I genuinely didn't feel

743
00:41:09,041 --> 00:41:11,521
Speaker 1: like I was in jail the last eight weeks. It

744
00:41:11,681 --> 00:41:15,801
Speaker 1: actually just felt like I was on some sort of

745
00:41:15,841 --> 00:41:19,761
Speaker 1: like boot camp. Yeah, but it went very quick the

746
00:41:19,841 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 1: last eight weeks. And the thing was, I could see

747
00:41:23,001 --> 00:41:25,801
Speaker 1: the end of the tunnel and I kept, you know,

748
00:41:25,921 --> 00:41:28,881
Speaker 1: saying it like to myself and I think I've said

749
00:41:28,881 --> 00:41:31,041
Speaker 1: it to you so many times, Like I did it,

750
00:41:31,321 --> 00:41:36,481
Speaker 1: Like I actually found that inner strength and I was

751
00:41:36,521 --> 00:41:40,561
Speaker 1: able to pull through despite thinking to myself that, you know,

752
00:41:40,641 --> 00:41:42,481
Speaker 1: at the start, I was like I don't even know

753
00:41:42,481 --> 00:41:46,081
Speaker 1: how I'm going to do this. I was such a mess.

754
00:41:46,201 --> 00:41:49,681
Speaker 1: And then to come out, I feel like stronger. Yeah,

755
00:41:49,761 --> 00:41:53,041
Speaker 1: then nothing can break me now, you know, knowing what

756
00:41:53,121 --> 00:41:59,201
Speaker 1: I've been through, what I've seen, Yeah, my life is yeah,

757
00:41:59,361 --> 00:42:02,881
Speaker 1: it's been a curveball. But that was the final chapter

758
00:42:02,961 --> 00:42:06,041
Speaker 1: for me, and I'm glad that now I can, you know,

759
00:42:06,361 --> 00:42:09,761
Speaker 1: I can finally put that behind me. That's been going

760
00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:13,761
Speaker 1: on Neil for four years. Yeah, this whole situation. And look,

761
00:42:13,921 --> 00:42:16,441
Speaker 1: I was in a really bad place when all this happened,

762
00:42:17,841 --> 00:42:21,321
Speaker 1: you know, as you know, and you know, we do

763
00:42:21,401 --> 00:42:24,921
Speaker 1: things when we're in bad places and we're down where

764
00:42:25,441 --> 00:42:30,161
Speaker 1: hip rock bottom mentally not well, and you know I

765
00:42:30,601 --> 00:42:34,001
Speaker 1: did what I did to survive that was you know,

766
00:42:34,241 --> 00:42:37,041
Speaker 1: I had nothing, so it was for me to be

767
00:42:37,041 --> 00:42:39,681
Speaker 1: able to live. You know. It was obviously in Sydney

768
00:42:40,081 --> 00:42:42,201
Speaker 1: and then yeah, moved back down to Melbourne and I'd

769
00:42:42,241 --> 00:42:45,561
Speaker 1: been dealing with that ever since twenty twenty, never really

770
00:42:45,601 --> 00:42:48,841
Speaker 1: opened up about it. I kind of just dealt with

771
00:42:48,881 --> 00:42:51,681
Speaker 1: it myself. And look what happens when you deal with

772
00:42:51,721 --> 00:42:56,401
Speaker 1: it yourself end up behind bars. But had I have,

773
00:42:56,681 --> 00:43:00,561
Speaker 1: I guess, you know, reached out and spoken.

774
00:43:00,561 --> 00:43:01,721
Speaker 2: Like do you think you were just you were just

775
00:43:01,801 --> 00:43:03,201
Speaker 2: lost in that in that when you were down that

776
00:43:03,281 --> 00:43:04,921
Speaker 2: in that hole and you just didn't.

777
00:43:04,681 --> 00:43:08,201
Speaker 1: Know what's I lost myself, you know, like I just

778
00:43:08,281 --> 00:43:12,081
Speaker 1: felt like the whole world was was on top of me,

779
00:43:12,361 --> 00:43:14,761
Speaker 1: like there was no coming out. I was just drowning.

780
00:43:14,801 --> 00:43:16,761
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do,

781
00:43:16,881 --> 00:43:18,401
Speaker 1: how I'm getting out of it, because it was just

782
00:43:18,801 --> 00:43:21,121
Speaker 1: one thing after another after another, and I was like,

783
00:43:21,201 --> 00:43:24,361
Speaker 1: this is not what life should be like. And I guess,

784
00:43:24,361 --> 00:43:28,241
Speaker 1: you know, come coming back from like the childhood that

785
00:43:28,281 --> 00:43:31,161
Speaker 1: I've had and the trauma and what I've had to

786
00:43:31,161 --> 00:43:34,281
Speaker 1: go through, I've been very independent and yeah, don't get

787
00:43:34,281 --> 00:43:37,601
Speaker 1: me wrong. We all make mistakes, some worse than others,

788
00:43:37,961 --> 00:43:41,121
Speaker 1: but it doesn't define you as a person. You know.

789
00:43:41,601 --> 00:43:44,841
Speaker 1: I know that I am a good person, and despite

790
00:43:45,241 --> 00:43:47,601
Speaker 1: how you know, I've been betrayed and things like that,

791
00:43:47,921 --> 00:43:51,321
Speaker 1: we do make mistakes, but it's about learning from it

792
00:43:51,761 --> 00:43:54,601
Speaker 1: and being able to be able to push forward. And

793
00:43:54,721 --> 00:43:58,041
Speaker 1: that's what I'm doing. And I feel like I had

794
00:43:58,081 --> 00:44:00,721
Speaker 1: been doing that the past four years, obviously getting into

795
00:44:00,721 --> 00:44:05,281
Speaker 1: boxing and mentally getting getting myself right. Finding myself off

796
00:44:05,281 --> 00:44:09,041
Speaker 1: again and being hit with that curveball was like fuck,

797
00:44:09,241 --> 00:44:11,481
Speaker 1: you know, but I felt like it was a sign

798
00:44:11,521 --> 00:44:13,481
Speaker 1: that it was like, you know, this is the final

799
00:44:13,561 --> 00:44:16,601
Speaker 1: chapter that needs to be closed, and now that it

800
00:44:16,641 --> 00:44:19,481
Speaker 1: has been closed, like I can like it's a whole

801
00:44:19,481 --> 00:44:21,041
Speaker 1: big weight off my shoulders.

802
00:44:21,521 --> 00:44:25,601
Speaker 2: You just want to move on there. Yeah, before we

803
00:44:25,801 --> 00:44:26,961
Speaker 2: I asked you what you want to move on for?

804
00:44:27,361 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 2: I just want to know about what was the worst

805
00:44:29,001 --> 00:44:30,161
Speaker 2: thing you've seen inside.

806
00:44:29,881 --> 00:44:36,281
Speaker 1: Joh I've seen quite a lot, Neil, Like, I don't

807
00:44:36,321 --> 00:44:37,841
Speaker 1: know where to start that, Like.

808
00:44:38,081 --> 00:44:38,881
Speaker 2: How about are we talking?

809
00:44:38,961 --> 00:44:39,041
Speaker 1: Like?

810
00:44:39,161 --> 00:44:40,561
Speaker 2: Is there is the system corrupt?

811
00:44:41,081 --> 00:44:46,361
Speaker 1: Very corrupt. Yeah, it's so corrupt, like I would see

812
00:44:46,481 --> 00:44:51,441
Speaker 1: drug deals going on mobile phones coming in drops being

813
00:44:51,521 --> 00:44:56,641
Speaker 1: done easy, that easy, Yeah, it was crazy. You could

814
00:44:56,681 --> 00:44:59,401
Speaker 1: office a shop so depending on which officer you could.

815
00:44:59,681 --> 00:45:03,641
Speaker 1: You know, people like prison prisoners, they they know you

816
00:45:03,721 --> 00:45:06,361
Speaker 1: inside out, like the as in the guards. So the

817
00:45:06,441 --> 00:45:10,121
Speaker 1: minute you've got your belt undone or your shirt is

818
00:45:10,121 --> 00:45:12,641
Speaker 1: not in place, they know that you're tired, that you're down,

819
00:45:12,721 --> 00:45:15,521
Speaker 1: that you're not switched on, so they take advantage of that.

820
00:45:16,761 --> 00:45:19,881
Speaker 1: So I just feel like the system is so corrupt,

821
00:45:20,201 --> 00:45:24,521
Speaker 1: like real corrupt, and the amount of things that happen

822
00:45:24,601 --> 00:45:27,401
Speaker 1: in there is beyond me. Like they will turn a

823
00:45:27,441 --> 00:45:31,081
Speaker 1: blind eye at times to seeing people get bashed, seeing

824
00:45:31,121 --> 00:45:34,601
Speaker 1: people get shived, Like I've seen a girl just go hard.

825
00:45:34,681 --> 00:45:37,961
Speaker 1: She had sharpened tweezers and just went in and just

826
00:45:38,201 --> 00:45:41,721
Speaker 1: pounded this girl like it was it was brutal, but

827
00:45:41,841 --> 00:45:44,961
Speaker 1: putting in them in a segro cell for fourteen days

828
00:45:45,001 --> 00:45:48,361
Speaker 1: does nothing, you know, that's what they do. Put in

829
00:45:48,441 --> 00:45:52,041
Speaker 1: me in segregation cells fourteen days. They may take your

830
00:45:52,081 --> 00:45:56,121
Speaker 1: phone away from you, like the tablet. It may take

831
00:45:56,121 --> 00:45:58,161
Speaker 1: you off by up for a week or something. But

832
00:45:58,521 --> 00:46:02,121
Speaker 1: these women don't learn from that, you know. And then

833
00:46:02,161 --> 00:46:05,841
Speaker 1: they're back out and they're you know, maybe hurting somebody again.

834
00:46:07,601 --> 00:46:11,321
Speaker 1: The thing is, and especially in some areas, like they'll

835
00:46:11,361 --> 00:46:13,761
Speaker 1: tell the guards that they if they don't like the

836
00:46:13,801 --> 00:46:16,961
Speaker 1: look of some person, if they don't like something, they'll

837
00:46:16,961 --> 00:46:19,241
Speaker 1: tell them that they're going to fuck them up. But

838
00:46:19,361 --> 00:46:22,761
Speaker 1: they still yet put that person in there. There should

839
00:46:22,801 --> 00:46:25,801
Speaker 1: be some sort of duty of care that doesn't happen,

840
00:46:26,801 --> 00:46:29,521
Speaker 1: you know. And the amount of things that get through

841
00:46:29,761 --> 00:46:34,641
Speaker 1: prisons is beyond me. I was surprised even like so,

842
00:46:34,761 --> 00:46:39,561
Speaker 1: I obviously worked at a place logistics, yes Neil, I

843
00:46:39,641 --> 00:46:45,121
Speaker 1: did so the last eight weeks I was out the

844
00:46:45,121 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 1: front of the jail. So it was in a house

845
00:46:47,001 --> 00:46:49,961
Speaker 1: that was called ILU Independent Living. This is where I

846
00:46:49,961 --> 00:46:52,241
Speaker 1: have my roast pork, my roast lamb, and I had

847
00:46:52,241 --> 00:46:55,761
Speaker 1: my dinner's cooked for me. So Monday to Friday, I

848
00:46:55,801 --> 00:46:57,801
Speaker 1: would go to work, so I'd be up at five

849
00:46:57,801 --> 00:47:02,321
Speaker 1: pointy five. That was a struggle, a muster at six,

850
00:47:02,601 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 1: so you would obviously get up and then you'd steer

851
00:47:05,201 --> 00:47:06,841
Speaker 1: in a line and they come and like, you know,

852
00:47:06,921 --> 00:47:09,681
Speaker 1: say last name, make sure you hear, and then it's

853
00:47:09,921 --> 00:47:12,321
Speaker 1: I think it was about like seven fifteen twenty past

854
00:47:12,321 --> 00:47:15,841
Speaker 1: seven that the officers will come get you and would

855
00:47:15,881 --> 00:47:17,881
Speaker 1: walk to work because it wasn't that far so would

856
00:47:18,161 --> 00:47:21,201
Speaker 1: work in logistics. So we're dealing a lot with like

857
00:47:21,281 --> 00:47:23,801
Speaker 1: the jails, so all the jails open, New South Wales.

858
00:47:24,281 --> 00:47:28,121
Speaker 1: It was a very interesting job. But let's just say

859
00:47:28,681 --> 00:47:32,601
Speaker 1: me and palette jacks and strapping trucks is not a vibe.

860
00:47:33,241 --> 00:47:37,001
Speaker 1: Some people thought it was, but it's not for me,

861
00:47:37,921 --> 00:47:40,361
Speaker 1: you know. I had my hard yaka boots on, my

862
00:47:40,481 --> 00:47:44,681
Speaker 1: hype is hair off in a high pony and I

863
00:47:44,761 --> 00:47:46,961
Speaker 1: was given it a go, you know. But that was

864
00:47:47,641 --> 00:47:49,881
Speaker 1: so when they'd actually asked me to go out there,

865
00:47:50,001 --> 00:47:53,321
Speaker 1: they I don't understand like the categories and things like that.

866
00:47:53,361 --> 00:47:55,681
Speaker 1: But obviously I was not a threat to the community

867
00:47:55,761 --> 00:47:58,521
Speaker 1: or anything like that, and I wasn't going to escape,

868
00:47:58,681 --> 00:48:00,561
Speaker 1: you know, it'd be stupid to do something like that.

869
00:48:00,681 --> 00:48:05,201
Speaker 1: So what was stopping me from being like our in

870
00:48:05,241 --> 00:48:07,201
Speaker 1: the wilderness was a picked fence.

871
00:48:07,361 --> 00:48:09,241
Speaker 2: Yeah I've seen that. Yeah, I've seen that.

872
00:48:09,401 --> 00:48:13,441
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I would like walk out, you know, and

873
00:48:13,561 --> 00:48:16,361
Speaker 1: go to work and then come back, and so it

874
00:48:16,361 --> 00:48:20,601
Speaker 1: would work. Yeah, seven twenty past seven, I get there

875
00:48:20,601 --> 00:48:22,481
Speaker 1: were like seven thirty. It was like five ten minute

876
00:48:22,521 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 1: walk and then finished around about like two thirty three

877
00:48:25,681 --> 00:48:28,241
Speaker 1: and then we'd be walk back. But like i'd see

878
00:48:28,241 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 1: careers come in and ideal, so I do a lot

879
00:48:30,481 --> 00:48:33,241
Speaker 1: of like GRB kind of stuff because I didn't really

880
00:48:33,241 --> 00:48:36,761
Speaker 1: want to do. I said to the officers, I was like,

881
00:48:36,801 --> 00:48:41,201
Speaker 1: come on, bro do I look on They were like

882
00:48:41,321 --> 00:48:44,161
Speaker 1: du buso And then they were like all right. They

883
00:48:44,281 --> 00:48:46,361
Speaker 1: just laughed at me. You know, I said, look, I'm

884
00:48:46,401 --> 00:48:48,201
Speaker 1: not here for much longer. I've only got eight weeks.

885
00:48:48,521 --> 00:48:51,321
Speaker 1: And in the scheme of things, eight weeks to them

886
00:48:51,441 --> 00:48:54,081
Speaker 1: is a long time, but not really because like me

887
00:48:54,201 --> 00:48:57,321
Speaker 1: strapping trucks and doing that or just geez, where are we?

888
00:48:57,681 --> 00:49:00,721
Speaker 1: If you were there, you would laugh. But I had

889
00:49:00,721 --> 00:49:02,641
Speaker 1: to do what I had to do. You know. For me,

890
00:49:02,721 --> 00:49:06,801
Speaker 1: that was freedom. I was getting out, had getting out

891
00:49:06,881 --> 00:49:09,921
Speaker 1: into society. Had I have not done that? And stayed

892
00:49:09,961 --> 00:49:13,201
Speaker 1: in protection where I was, I feel like I would

893
00:49:13,201 --> 00:49:18,641
Speaker 1: be institutionalized, so because I felt like sheltered, you know,

894
00:49:19,601 --> 00:49:22,721
Speaker 1: So it was more I had got my confidence. I

895
00:49:22,761 --> 00:49:27,801
Speaker 1: felt good despite being in green like and I had

896
00:49:27,841 --> 00:49:30,081
Speaker 1: the girl that pumping me out, so it felt good.

897
00:49:30,881 --> 00:49:34,201
Speaker 1: We could have a laugh and yeah, I do a

898
00:49:34,201 --> 00:49:36,401
Speaker 1: lot of GRB I do. So we would do the

899
00:49:36,441 --> 00:49:40,761
Speaker 1: apples for all the jails, would do the rations, and

900
00:49:40,801 --> 00:49:44,081
Speaker 1: then a lot of you know, freight to and from organizers.

901
00:49:44,081 --> 00:49:48,201
Speaker 1: I except parcels, like it was crazy, anything missing for

902
00:49:49,081 --> 00:49:51,521
Speaker 1: any Oh my god, just jot me just howp you

903
00:49:51,561 --> 00:49:55,481
Speaker 1: something that happened? And of course, of course I was

904
00:49:55,521 --> 00:49:57,921
Speaker 1: the one that signed off on it, so it was

905
00:49:57,921 --> 00:50:01,041
Speaker 1: a bit of a confusion, not on my behalf. So

906
00:50:01,201 --> 00:50:04,241
Speaker 1: they came to me. So obviously delivery drivers coming in

907
00:50:04,321 --> 00:50:08,961
Speaker 1: like a start Trek is Australian post everything freight and

908
00:50:09,041 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, yeah, I'll just look to see

909
00:50:10,961 --> 00:50:12,641
Speaker 1: where it's going. Could we go on to like Jeffrey

910
00:50:12,641 --> 00:50:17,041
Speaker 1: Pierce or like de Winnia park Lee Goldwyn. So I

911
00:50:17,121 --> 00:50:19,361
Speaker 1: look to see what's who it's for and where it's going.

912
00:50:19,401 --> 00:50:20,961
Speaker 1: I'll just sign off. Yet and there was like a

913
00:50:21,001 --> 00:50:23,681
Speaker 1: specific place I would have to have to put it. Anyways,

914
00:50:24,081 --> 00:50:28,361
Speaker 1: just a few weeks ago, obviously, jeez. So laptops came

915
00:50:28,401 --> 00:50:33,441
Speaker 1: in with sin cards and shit like this. This is

916
00:50:33,561 --> 00:50:37,241
Speaker 1: why I never wanted my name on things, because they

917
00:50:37,321 --> 00:50:40,001
Speaker 1: come straight to you. So the storeman was like, Bella,

918
00:50:40,121 --> 00:50:43,121
Speaker 1: you signed off at nine point fifteen laptops and I

919
00:50:43,161 --> 00:50:45,321
Speaker 1: was like, laptops. I'm like, I would know if I

920
00:50:45,641 --> 00:50:49,441
Speaker 1: like shit that is coming in, you know. Anyways, I

921
00:50:49,521 --> 00:50:51,681
Speaker 1: was like, nah, I don't remember. They're like it was

922
00:50:51,721 --> 00:50:53,961
Speaker 1: for de Winnia and I was like, nah, I looked

923
00:50:53,961 --> 00:50:57,041
Speaker 1: in the book nothing. I was like far out. I

924
00:50:57,081 --> 00:50:59,000
Speaker 1: was like nah, I'm like, are you sure you've looked,

925
00:50:59,001 --> 00:51:01,401
Speaker 1: and they're like, yeah, we've looked. And I was like, okay, shit.

926
00:51:01,761 --> 00:51:04,641
Speaker 1: They're like it's expensive. It's got sin cards, like they're

927
00:51:04,681 --> 00:51:13,161
Speaker 1: like four d rellative. So anyways, then like the governor

928
00:51:13,161 --> 00:51:16,321
Speaker 1: gets involved and I was like, holy shit, I'm like,

929
00:51:16,361 --> 00:51:19,321
Speaker 1: of all people, it's me that this has happened to you.

930
00:51:19,521 --> 00:51:23,441
Speaker 1: So anyways, my my boss there at Logistics was like,

931
00:51:23,441 --> 00:51:25,761
Speaker 1: you know, Bella would never do this. Then my girls

932
00:51:25,761 --> 00:51:29,201
Speaker 1: wouldn't you know, do such a thing where a rap. Anyways,

933
00:51:29,321 --> 00:51:31,841
Speaker 1: tomorrow of the story. They fucking found it, thank god,

934
00:51:31,881 --> 00:51:35,281
Speaker 1: because I was shipping my pants. It was wrongly labeled,

935
00:51:35,721 --> 00:51:39,201
Speaker 1: and it was in a Kleenex, yeah, Cleenex toilet box,

936
00:51:39,281 --> 00:51:43,201
Speaker 1: a toilet paper box, so and it was in stores,

937
00:51:43,561 --> 00:51:46,081
Speaker 1: so it wasn't for de Winer and had been obviously

938
00:51:46,121 --> 00:51:49,681
Speaker 1: wrongly labeled. So they found it. But man, I was

939
00:51:49,761 --> 00:51:52,721
Speaker 1: so petrified. I was like, holy shit. And meanwhile, I

940
00:51:52,761 --> 00:51:55,081
Speaker 1: only had like a week or so before I was

941
00:51:55,121 --> 00:51:56,801
Speaker 1: getting out, and I was like, I do not need

942
00:51:56,841 --> 00:52:00,241
Speaker 1: any inside charges because otherwise I'm not to get down

943
00:52:00,681 --> 00:52:02,881
Speaker 1: on the twelve of July. I'll tell you that much.

944
00:52:03,441 --> 00:52:06,481
Speaker 1: I was like, surely not like but the thing is,

945
00:52:06,521 --> 00:52:08,721
Speaker 1: you just don't know if people are trying to set

946
00:52:08,721 --> 00:52:11,480
Speaker 1: you up either because people know that you're getting out,

947
00:52:11,601 --> 00:52:16,361
Speaker 1: so they're envy, like a prime example. So I think

948
00:52:16,361 --> 00:52:20,001
Speaker 1: it was on the Sunday, and then I was getting

949
00:52:20,001 --> 00:52:23,961
Speaker 1: out on the Thursday, and I was no, I was

950
00:52:24,001 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 1: at the house that I'm you know, sleeping, and I'd

951
00:52:27,521 --> 00:52:30,441
Speaker 1: taken the scales from the gym because I want to

952
00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:33,201
Speaker 1: go away myself because at the gym there that the

953
00:52:33,201 --> 00:52:36,601
Speaker 1: floor was like uneven, you know, so I wanted to,

954
00:52:36,761 --> 00:52:38,561
Speaker 1: you know, strip my kid off and just do it.

955
00:52:38,641 --> 00:52:41,561
Speaker 1: See how much I'd wait because realistically, look, I don't

956
00:52:41,561 --> 00:52:43,401
Speaker 1: think I put on any weight since I've been in

957
00:52:43,401 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 1: there made me feel good about myself. So anyways, all

958
00:52:48,001 --> 00:52:51,241
Speaker 1: I hear is like this chick yelling at Bella where

959
00:52:51,241 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 1: the fox is scales, and I was like, I beg

960
00:52:54,481 --> 00:52:57,761
Speaker 1: your fucking pardon. You know, she comes right up to

961
00:52:57,841 --> 00:53:02,601
Speaker 1: my face, points at me. Is this bitch for real?

962
00:53:03,201 --> 00:53:07,761
Speaker 1: It's like you're lackyo, okay heading your dog snatched the

963
00:53:07,841 --> 00:53:10,841
Speaker 1: scales out of my hands. Wow. I was like burning

964
00:53:10,921 --> 00:53:14,921
Speaker 1: because I was like I wanted like to shot yep

965
00:53:15,041 --> 00:53:17,281
Speaker 1: to show that like I wasn't scared of you bitch,

966
00:53:17,601 --> 00:53:20,321
Speaker 1: like you know, but I knew that that was a

967
00:53:20,361 --> 00:53:22,561
Speaker 1: test because I had four days to get out and

968
00:53:22,641 --> 00:53:27,561
Speaker 1: if I got an inside charge straightaway handcuffed back over

969
00:53:27,641 --> 00:53:30,081
Speaker 1: into the jail, and you know, I wouldn't be sitting

970
00:53:30,081 --> 00:53:33,321
Speaker 1: here with you today. So it was that I had

971
00:53:33,321 --> 00:53:36,361
Speaker 1: to like just relax. I had to just keep my cool.

972
00:53:36,881 --> 00:53:39,801
Speaker 1: And even the officer had come like he had seen

973
00:53:39,841 --> 00:53:43,601
Speaker 1: it and said double so don't do anything, you know, like,

974
00:53:43,761 --> 00:53:46,121
Speaker 1: do not you it's not worth it. I will deal

975
00:53:46,161 --> 00:53:49,321
Speaker 1: with it, you know. This chick would walk around like

976
00:53:49,361 --> 00:53:51,561
Speaker 1: she owned the joints, like settle down, Love, you're in

977
00:53:51,641 --> 00:53:54,241
Speaker 1: greens too, you know, you're no different to us. But

978
00:53:54,721 --> 00:53:57,041
Speaker 1: some people have chips on their shoulders, you know. And

979
00:53:57,081 --> 00:54:00,441
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to let somebody ruin that, you know

980
00:54:00,521 --> 00:54:03,441
Speaker 1: what I had left over a pair of scales. But

981
00:54:03,961 --> 00:54:08,641
Speaker 1: you'd be amazed what people like just click over, like

982
00:54:08,681 --> 00:54:11,721
Speaker 1: the smallest things, whether it be they haven't washed up,

983
00:54:11,801 --> 00:54:14,481
Speaker 1: or they've left something somewhere, or that they've said something,

984
00:54:14,561 --> 00:54:17,041
Speaker 1: or they've even looked you've looked at them the wrong

985
00:54:17,081 --> 00:54:20,361
Speaker 1: way like they will. They will just pound you like

986
00:54:20,361 --> 00:54:22,561
Speaker 1: they would jump. And it's not a one on one either,

987
00:54:23,321 --> 00:54:26,481
Speaker 1: like that ship. They'll offer you a three out like

988
00:54:26,721 --> 00:54:29,001
Speaker 1: they'll even just get you in your cell and there'll

989
00:54:29,041 --> 00:54:31,041
Speaker 1: be three, four of them and they'll just go you

990
00:54:31,761 --> 00:54:35,761
Speaker 1: like they're ruthless. But I'm glad that, you know, I

991
00:54:35,841 --> 00:54:39,841
Speaker 1: never had that, Thank God. I mean, I can box,

992
00:54:39,921 --> 00:54:42,441
Speaker 1: but fuck, it's three onto one. I don't know how

993
00:54:42,481 --> 00:54:45,961
Speaker 1: I feel about that. It's a bit unfair it.

994
00:54:47,441 --> 00:54:51,761
Speaker 2: Oh shit, I remember, I remember when I came to

995
00:54:51,841 --> 00:54:55,841
Speaker 2: visit you, and I think like and I came in

996
00:54:55,881 --> 00:54:58,000
Speaker 2: there and I've seen the house that as I came in,

997
00:54:58,961 --> 00:55:01,481
Speaker 2: and I must admit, I think out of all the

998
00:55:01,481 --> 00:55:03,521
Speaker 2: people who visited, they because I don't know who's come

999
00:55:03,561 --> 00:55:04,881
Speaker 2: to see like family and friends and the ones in

1000
00:55:04,921 --> 00:55:07,681
Speaker 2: all like that. But I remember seeing you in the

1001
00:55:07,721 --> 00:55:10,361
Speaker 2: greens and I remember I remember because yeah, I was

1002
00:55:10,361 --> 00:55:12,481
Speaker 2: inside waiting to come in to see it, and then

1003
00:55:12,521 --> 00:55:15,801
Speaker 2: you walk past. I went, oh shit, that's a that's

1004
00:55:15,841 --> 00:55:18,241
Speaker 2: a picture and that one, you know what I mean,

1005
00:55:18,281 --> 00:55:20,081
Speaker 2: Like I was lucky enough to see it in the greens,

1006
00:55:20,121 --> 00:55:21,601
Speaker 2: but then you came out and teaming and you were

1007
00:55:21,601 --> 00:55:24,361
Speaker 2: in your your white overalls kind of thing. And then

1008
00:55:24,601 --> 00:55:27,441
Speaker 2: it was like, but as I said, with that house,

1009
00:55:27,841 --> 00:55:32,001
Speaker 2: I was amazed how close it was to the outside world.

1010
00:55:32,361 --> 00:55:35,961
Speaker 1: Yeah. Crazy, like I wasn't in the jail, yeah whatsoever.

1011
00:55:36,161 --> 00:55:38,761
Speaker 2: And the way you just freely walked out of that

1012
00:55:38,841 --> 00:55:41,201
Speaker 2: house to come and get ready to see me in

1013
00:55:41,521 --> 00:55:43,961
Speaker 2: the visits. You're gonna just walk straight out if you

1014
00:55:43,961 --> 00:55:46,921
Speaker 2: want to do running. And the guards at the entry

1015
00:55:46,921 --> 00:55:48,841
Speaker 2: were like seventy years old, we ain't going to run

1016
00:55:48,881 --> 00:55:51,241
Speaker 2: after you, you know what I mean exactly, Like it's

1017
00:55:51,361 --> 00:55:53,480
Speaker 2: just weird the way they've got the system in there, Yeah,

1018
00:55:53,761 --> 00:55:55,961
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And and the fact that

1019
00:55:56,081 --> 00:55:57,841
Speaker 2: when I when I was in there and looking at

1020
00:55:57,881 --> 00:56:00,761
Speaker 2: the state of the place, like when I was waiting

1021
00:56:00,761 --> 00:56:03,281
Speaker 2: in the room for you, like it's like, oh my god,

1022
00:56:04,201 --> 00:56:06,561
Speaker 2: like that there's no care in the world for anything.

1023
00:56:06,601 --> 00:56:12,761
Speaker 2: They don't care about the paint job, the carpets.

1024
00:56:11,361 --> 00:56:15,281
Speaker 1: Even the carpet. So I would never wear like bare

1025
00:56:15,321 --> 00:56:19,761
Speaker 1: feet or just socks, Like walking around, I always had

1026
00:56:19,801 --> 00:56:22,201
Speaker 1: shoes on, or I had socks and thongs. Like I

1027
00:56:22,241 --> 00:56:25,961
Speaker 1: could never wear bare feet because I just didn't know,

1028
00:56:26,201 --> 00:56:29,440
Speaker 1: like it was just that old. It was like it's

1029
00:56:29,441 --> 00:56:31,041
Speaker 1: like that water moldy smell.

1030
00:56:31,121 --> 00:56:33,601
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's how I felt. It was its stalk

1031
00:56:33,641 --> 00:56:35,761
Speaker 2: of mold inside the jail when I went in.

1032
00:56:36,081 --> 00:56:39,721
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was very, very run down. But you know,

1033
00:56:40,441 --> 00:56:43,521
Speaker 1: I'm glad that I'm out the least.

1034
00:56:43,801 --> 00:56:47,961
Speaker 2: I remember, like we've talked off about stuff and just

1035
00:56:48,001 --> 00:56:49,521
Speaker 2: so I could get an insight of what was going

1036
00:56:49,561 --> 00:56:51,841
Speaker 2: on in there. And I remember you telling me a

1037
00:56:51,881 --> 00:56:56,041
Speaker 2: story which is like has now got me kind of

1038
00:56:57,201 --> 00:57:03,241
Speaker 2: on frozen bananas, Oh God, because I wasn't expecting that.

1039
00:57:03,281 --> 00:57:05,641
Speaker 2: And then you told me the situation about other person

1040
00:57:05,721 --> 00:57:10,441
Speaker 2: using a cucumber to keep themselves happy. I know, and

1041
00:57:10,481 --> 00:57:13,281
Speaker 2: I asked you if you'd ever done the frozen banana.

1042
00:57:14,161 --> 00:57:18,281
Speaker 2: You said, you haven't tell me about this. Tell me

1043
00:57:18,281 --> 00:57:20,601
Speaker 2: about that, like the like you know some I know

1044
00:57:20,641 --> 00:57:23,081
Speaker 2: some of the girls must get like sexually frustrated and

1045
00:57:23,121 --> 00:57:25,841
Speaker 2: all like that. But to use a frozen banana.

1046
00:57:25,721 --> 00:57:28,281
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was next level. Like I didn't know it

1047
00:57:28,321 --> 00:57:29,281
Speaker 1: was as a thing.

1048
00:57:30,561 --> 00:57:32,761
Speaker 2: Didn't know, and I do. I made a protein shake

1049
00:57:32,801 --> 00:57:35,241
Speaker 2: after you told me the story, and I used frozen bananas.

1050
00:57:39,921 --> 00:57:42,881
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. It was next level, like I didn't

1051
00:57:42,921 --> 00:57:45,321
Speaker 1: know it was. It was a thing. But obviously, you know,

1052
00:57:45,481 --> 00:57:49,441
Speaker 1: women have needs and whatnot. But yeah, we would. You

1053
00:57:49,481 --> 00:57:52,561
Speaker 1: would get charged if you would if you were found

1054
00:57:52,641 --> 00:57:56,041
Speaker 1: with frozen banana, and we obviously had fridge and freezers. Yeah,

1055
00:57:56,241 --> 00:57:59,441
Speaker 1: so you could, yeah, put your banana in the freezer

1056
00:57:59,481 --> 00:58:03,881
Speaker 1: and they would put a rubber glove over it and

1057
00:58:04,001 --> 00:58:04,841
Speaker 1: go ham.

1058
00:58:05,801 --> 00:58:09,361
Speaker 2: So did tell me this off camera?

1059
00:58:17,401 --> 00:58:21,481
Speaker 1: I just yeah, wow? And then yeah, does zebel using cucumbers.

1060
00:58:21,761 --> 00:58:24,201
Speaker 1: I couldn't even eat a cucumber knowing what they were

1061
00:58:24,201 --> 00:58:25,081
Speaker 1: doing with cucumbers.

1062
00:58:25,161 --> 00:58:26,921
Speaker 2: Told me about some into.

1063
00:58:26,921 --> 00:58:29,881
Speaker 1: She had a hospital escort because it got stuck up

1064
00:58:29,961 --> 00:58:30,641
Speaker 1: inside her.

1065
00:58:30,921 --> 00:58:32,721
Speaker 2: How's it? How's it? You can we get stuck at

1066
00:58:32,721 --> 00:58:36,441
Speaker 2: like the snap or she goes to you don't know that.

1067
00:58:38,601 --> 00:58:45,801
Speaker 1: That question. Yeah, I don't. Look the cucumbers were fairly big.

1068
00:58:46,161 --> 00:58:47,761
Speaker 1: I won't lie. Yeah, you get it was.

1069
00:58:48,001 --> 00:58:49,361
Speaker 2: It was actually stuck. She couldn't get out.

1070
00:58:49,441 --> 00:58:52,681
Speaker 1: I couldn't get it out. No, it's obviously I don't know.

1071
00:58:52,841 --> 00:58:55,001
Speaker 1: I don't know how it's happened. But the grip maybe

1072
00:58:55,121 --> 00:58:59,561
Speaker 1: is yeah she didn't maybe it was too slimy knows,

1073
00:58:59,681 --> 00:59:03,321
Speaker 1: I don't know, but yeah it was. Yeah. I couldn't

1074
00:59:03,361 --> 00:59:06,401
Speaker 1: believe it. I was like wow, but you'd be amazed

1075
00:59:06,441 --> 00:59:15,641
Speaker 1: on like I got offered that many times, Like the

1076
00:59:15,721 --> 00:59:18,201
Speaker 1: girls would just yeah, they're like, you know, do you

1077
00:59:18,281 --> 00:59:21,921
Speaker 1: swing that way? Have you ever? Would you ever? You

1078
00:59:21,961 --> 00:59:24,361
Speaker 1: know that? And some of them was, you know, have

1079
00:59:24,561 --> 00:59:27,041
Speaker 1: never been in that position, so they were like, oh,

1080
00:59:27,121 --> 00:59:30,601
Speaker 1: I'll turn for you, and yeah, I was like wow,

1081
00:59:30,641 --> 00:59:33,441
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, you're delicious and uncomfortable was that. It

1082
00:59:33,481 --> 00:59:34,481
Speaker 1: was very uncomfortable.

1083
00:59:35,481 --> 00:59:38,401
Speaker 2: But these girls share showers with you or anything.

1084
00:59:38,361 --> 00:59:41,561
Speaker 1: Like sometimes because like you would have a communal shower,

1085
00:59:41,841 --> 00:59:44,401
Speaker 1: so there was like two showers and they're like eight

1086
00:59:44,441 --> 00:59:46,961
Speaker 1: of us in one place. That would obviously have to

1087
00:59:47,561 --> 00:59:50,241
Speaker 1: you know, you go in and shower and take turns.

1088
00:59:50,281 --> 00:59:53,481
Speaker 1: But yeah, I guess you know, they've seen a lot

1089
00:59:53,561 --> 00:59:56,201
Speaker 1: of you. I mean during my time, I've seen a

1090
00:59:56,201 --> 00:59:58,961
Speaker 1: lot of boobs and a lot of bits that I

1091
00:59:59,001 --> 01:00:00,801
Speaker 1: didn't really want to see, but I did.

1092
01:00:00,961 --> 01:00:04,521
Speaker 2: An there's a question for you, what about the guys

1093
01:00:04,521 --> 01:00:07,401
Speaker 2: who tear and I want to go female?

1094
01:00:07,681 --> 01:00:11,321
Speaker 1: Yeah? So I had two of those in there, and

1095
01:00:11,361 --> 01:00:15,201
Speaker 1: it was so interesting because when I had seen them,

1096
01:00:15,241 --> 01:00:20,041
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, like males in female prisons. And

1097
01:00:20,081 --> 01:00:23,961
Speaker 1: then they were like some the girls were telling me, no,

1098
01:00:24,121 --> 01:00:28,761
Speaker 1: they've actually transitioned, so they they don't have their genitals

1099
01:00:28,801 --> 01:00:31,881
Speaker 1: so that they've had the operation done so they're able

1100
01:00:31,921 --> 01:00:36,281
Speaker 1: to be in here, but they actually are still very masculine. Yeah,

1101
01:00:36,321 --> 01:00:39,401
Speaker 1: so it was quite interesting, you know, seeing the progress

1102
01:00:39,441 --> 01:00:42,201
Speaker 1: of things like that. Like I worked with one and

1103
01:00:42,921 --> 01:00:46,601
Speaker 1: at the start it was he still had his name,

1104
01:00:46,921 --> 01:00:50,721
Speaker 1: you know, and then not long ago he had like

1105
01:00:50,881 --> 01:00:54,601
Speaker 1: finally transitioned into the female. So I was wearing makeup

1106
01:00:54,681 --> 01:00:59,001
Speaker 1: and had hair extensions and yeah, the breast must have

1107
01:00:59,041 --> 01:01:02,481
Speaker 1: been taken some sort of like you know, hormones or steroids. Yeah,

1108
01:01:02,521 --> 01:01:05,401
Speaker 1: and ended up having breasts and I was like wow,

1109
01:01:05,681 --> 01:01:06,241
Speaker 1: like just.

1110
01:01:06,321 --> 01:01:08,321
Speaker 2: So hard to talk to someone like that, like knowing

1111
01:01:08,321 --> 01:01:11,041
Speaker 2: that it's a male really, but it's a like outside

1112
01:01:11,321 --> 01:01:15,241
Speaker 2: you know, we all know like a lot of gaze

1113
01:01:15,281 --> 01:01:19,001
Speaker 2: and people who've changed and changed the transgender, but like

1114
01:01:19,321 --> 01:01:22,601
Speaker 2: to know that he still looks like a male.

1115
01:01:22,961 --> 01:01:26,281
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. It was interesting. I mean I didn't

1116
01:01:26,361 --> 01:01:29,681
Speaker 1: really go into it too much because I didn't, like,

1117
01:01:29,761 --> 01:01:33,521
Speaker 1: I guess you don't know where the line is to draw,

1118
01:01:33,681 --> 01:01:36,281
Speaker 1: like what you can ask what you can't. I mean

1119
01:01:36,321 --> 01:01:39,841
Speaker 1: I accepted them, and you know, one of them was

1120
01:01:40,401 --> 01:01:42,881
Speaker 1: when I first not long went into do Win Now

1121
01:01:42,921 --> 01:01:46,241
Speaker 1: and they were talking about this person and they were like, oh,

1122
01:01:46,281 --> 01:01:48,881
Speaker 1: you need to go and say hi to her. And

1123
01:01:48,921 --> 01:01:51,441
Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, I don't know if I want.

1124
01:01:51,321 --> 01:01:51,641
Speaker 2: To do that.

1125
01:01:51,721 --> 01:01:54,681
Speaker 1: They're like, no, she will love you. And I was like, oh,

1126
01:01:54,721 --> 01:01:56,241
Speaker 1: dear lord, like this is a bit.

1127
01:01:56,241 --> 01:01:56,441
Speaker 2: You know.

1128
01:01:57,121 --> 01:01:59,521
Speaker 1: So they got me outside and I was like hi,

1129
01:01:59,801 --> 01:02:03,441
Speaker 1: you know, no she was like, oh my fucking god,

1130
01:02:03,521 --> 01:02:08,401
Speaker 1: you are gorgeous, old lords. You know. But but it

1131
01:02:08,521 --> 01:02:10,481
Speaker 1: freaked me out because I was like, wow, that's a

1132
01:02:10,641 --> 01:02:15,521
Speaker 1: that's a male, you know, like seeing that, but knowing

1133
01:02:15,601 --> 01:02:20,241
Speaker 1: that she had had you know, the progress and all

1134
01:02:20,281 --> 01:02:23,641
Speaker 1: that done, I was like wow, they actually allow that. Yeah,

1135
01:02:23,761 --> 01:02:25,721
Speaker 1: it was it was interesting. It was an eye opener,

1136
01:02:25,881 --> 01:02:26,521
Speaker 1: that's for sure.

1137
01:02:26,681 --> 01:02:30,121
Speaker 2: Yeah, tell me about your last night, last night inside,

1138
01:02:30,281 --> 01:02:31,281
Speaker 2: or your last couple of night.

1139
01:02:31,881 --> 01:02:36,401
Speaker 1: Well, you know what, it was emotional. It was emotional

1140
01:02:36,441 --> 01:02:40,561
Speaker 1: because it was just so nice to you know. I

1141
01:02:40,601 --> 01:02:44,401
Speaker 1: shared so many different bonds with all the women you

1142
01:02:44,441 --> 01:02:48,001
Speaker 1: know in there, and we had great banter and we

1143
01:02:48,481 --> 01:02:50,201
Speaker 1: you know, sit on the couch and they'd be all

1144
01:02:50,241 --> 01:02:53,361
Speaker 1: talking dirty, and I'd learn things and I'd give them

1145
01:02:53,481 --> 01:02:55,121
Speaker 1: insights and things as well.

1146
01:02:55,281 --> 01:02:57,841
Speaker 2: Actually, there's one thing you just forgot to tell me about.

1147
01:02:58,001 --> 01:02:59,481
Speaker 2: What's that thing you told me about that you put

1148
01:02:59,521 --> 01:03:00,161
Speaker 2: on your mouth?

1149
01:03:00,521 --> 01:03:02,801
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I can't remember what it's called. But it

1150
01:03:02,881 --> 01:03:06,361
Speaker 1: was like, so guys get condoms in jail, and girls

1151
01:03:06,361 --> 01:03:09,521
Speaker 1: gets like a condom for your mouth, so they would

1152
01:03:09,521 --> 01:03:13,281
Speaker 1: put it over their mouth before they eat out the woman.

1153
01:03:14,761 --> 01:03:15,081
Speaker 2: Given that.

1154
01:03:15,841 --> 01:03:16,681
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it.

1155
01:03:16,601 --> 01:03:18,881
Speaker 2: Was like a bug when you first came in.

1156
01:03:20,881 --> 01:03:24,361
Speaker 1: No, no, no, not that. But they were like vending machines

1157
01:03:24,361 --> 01:03:27,921
Speaker 1: in there, and you, yeah, go get them, but.

1158
01:03:27,881 --> 01:03:30,561
Speaker 2: Don't don't the prisoners try and stop that. Like, if

1159
01:03:30,601 --> 01:03:32,201
Speaker 2: you can't use a frozen banana, how come they can

1160
01:03:32,241 --> 01:03:33,281
Speaker 2: put that on a vendor machine.

1161
01:03:33,321 --> 01:03:36,241
Speaker 1: Well that was my That's how I thought. I was like,

1162
01:03:36,401 --> 01:03:39,121
Speaker 1: how can they do that? You know? So, but I

1163
01:03:39,121 --> 01:03:41,561
Speaker 1: guess you can't really stop some of the girls sometimes,

1164
01:03:41,721 --> 01:03:45,081
Speaker 1: you know, I think I never understood it until being

1165
01:03:45,161 --> 01:03:48,721
Speaker 1: in there. But still I still don't understand it because

1166
01:03:48,721 --> 01:03:50,641
Speaker 1: I would never do that for myself.

1167
01:03:51,161 --> 01:03:55,361
Speaker 2: Making people try and like get sexual with each other. Yes, yeah,

1168
01:03:55,521 --> 01:03:57,401
Speaker 2: if you use the frozen banana or a cumber. At

1169
01:03:57,481 --> 01:03:59,121
Speaker 2: least they're doing it independently by themselves.

1170
01:03:59,201 --> 01:04:04,961
Speaker 1: In a call, the girls made me a dildo. Really,

1171
01:04:05,121 --> 01:04:06,721
Speaker 1: they had a good old laugh. They put it in

1172
01:04:06,761 --> 01:04:09,361
Speaker 1: my room and like bella co check your room, like

1173
01:04:09,521 --> 01:04:11,921
Speaker 1: you know, and I was like, what the hell is

1174
01:04:12,001 --> 01:04:15,321
Speaker 1: going on? But like they actually it's amazing how they

1175
01:04:15,361 --> 01:04:17,801
Speaker 1: make it. But I just couldn't. I had to throw

1176
01:04:17,801 --> 01:04:23,201
Speaker 1: it out. Well, it was a rubber glove. And then

1177
01:04:23,201 --> 01:04:27,041
Speaker 1: they had stuff like so, do you know you know

1178
01:04:27,121 --> 01:04:31,481
Speaker 1: your toothpaste, sorry, your toothbrush holder, you know, if like

1179
01:04:31,521 --> 01:04:33,921
Speaker 1: you put it in and it's like it clips in. Yeah,

1180
01:04:34,001 --> 01:04:36,361
Speaker 1: so they use one of those, right, wrapped a pad

1181
01:04:36,401 --> 01:04:40,001
Speaker 1: around it, put it in a rubber glove and then

1182
01:04:40,161 --> 01:04:47,441
Speaker 1: tied it. And then that's what made Yeah, I was like, yeah, no, thanks,

1183
01:04:48,121 --> 01:04:51,241
Speaker 1: not for me, but some of it, man, some of

1184
01:04:51,281 --> 01:04:53,201
Speaker 1: them would like wrap it up, wrap it up, put

1185
01:04:53,281 --> 01:04:57,321
Speaker 1: toilet paper like that. That was looking like take a

1186
01:04:57,441 --> 01:04:59,721
Speaker 1: leg of ham at times. Yeah, and they put it

1187
01:04:59,761 --> 01:05:03,241
Speaker 1: in their pillow and I was like wowee. Yeah. So

1188
01:05:03,561 --> 01:05:04,841
Speaker 1: a lot of girls do it, and a lot of

1189
01:05:04,881 --> 01:05:06,841
Speaker 1: girl was getting there and they ended up being with

1190
01:05:06,881 --> 01:05:11,241
Speaker 1: somebody or the experiment. So they've come from the outside

1191
01:05:11,241 --> 01:05:13,641
Speaker 1: and they've never done it, and in there, I think

1192
01:05:13,721 --> 01:05:16,281
Speaker 1: sometimes it's more a companion kind of thing and they

1193
01:05:16,321 --> 01:05:22,041
Speaker 1: feel like they've got somebody. But yeah, it wasn't for me.

1194
01:05:23,081 --> 01:05:25,441
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it.

1195
01:05:25,441 --> 01:05:27,961
Speaker 2: Tell me back to your final couple of days, your party.

1196
01:05:27,721 --> 01:05:31,281
Speaker 1: And yeah, I feel like every night from Monday to Thursday,

1197
01:05:31,321 --> 01:05:33,761
Speaker 1: it was like I had a few of the houses

1198
01:05:33,761 --> 01:05:37,961
Speaker 1: who cooked dinners for me. And at work where I worked,

1199
01:05:38,081 --> 01:05:41,961
Speaker 1: they had like cake and and they actually I actually

1200
01:05:42,001 --> 01:05:46,601
Speaker 1: bought it in Neil because I wanted Yes.

1201
01:05:48,081 --> 01:05:51,121
Speaker 2: Actually, so what's with the socks? What's with the green socks? No,

1202
01:05:52,121 --> 01:05:54,001
Speaker 2: I don't want to wear it. They didn't bring it

1203
01:05:54,801 --> 01:05:57,121
Speaker 2: was not a present for me. They wearing your green socks.

1204
01:05:57,161 --> 01:06:00,601
Speaker 1: Now, I saw my first ever pair of socks that

1205
01:06:00,841 --> 01:06:03,001
Speaker 1: I had got given and I was like, you know what,

1206
01:06:03,721 --> 01:06:05,281
Speaker 1: there'd be somebody out there.

1207
01:06:05,641 --> 01:06:06,481
Speaker 2: I thought, you're going to wrap them.

1208
01:06:12,601 --> 01:06:16,441
Speaker 1: There would be somebody out there that would purchase these, okay,

1209
01:06:16,921 --> 01:06:20,041
Speaker 1: And I mean they don't smell, They're quite nice. I

1210
01:06:20,041 --> 01:06:24,121
Speaker 1: haven't washed them, okay. So I mean, if anything, if

1211
01:06:24,121 --> 01:06:28,801
Speaker 1: you've got any listeners listening interested in my first pair

1212
01:06:28,881 --> 01:06:29,721
Speaker 1: of jails.

1213
01:06:29,481 --> 01:06:31,761
Speaker 2: We shoultart a competition to give them away. Well, where

1214
01:06:31,761 --> 01:06:32,721
Speaker 2: do you want to make some money from the.

1215
01:06:35,081 --> 01:06:38,681
Speaker 1: I'm having to sell them separately rather than a pair.

1216
01:06:39,481 --> 01:06:41,441
Speaker 1: So these were the fancy socks that I had to

1217
01:06:41,481 --> 01:06:45,241
Speaker 1: wear until obviously I got my monthly buyap so then

1218
01:06:45,241 --> 01:06:47,561
Speaker 1: I could buy bonds. I wore bond socks and like

1219
01:06:48,081 --> 01:06:51,561
Speaker 1: rip off assics. You know, I was vibing nose. But yeah,

1220
01:06:51,601 --> 01:06:53,601
Speaker 1: these were first ten weeks i'd wear these.

1221
01:06:54,481 --> 01:06:57,041
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't bring it your ever greens, your T

1222
01:06:57,121 --> 01:07:00,561
Speaker 2: shirts and your shirts and your pants, and I weren't

1223
01:07:00,561 --> 01:07:01,321
Speaker 2: feeling the vibe.

1224
01:07:01,521 --> 01:07:04,281
Speaker 1: I wasn't, I would say, like the girls. So we

1225
01:07:04,361 --> 01:07:06,521
Speaker 1: had a thing going when I when I was out

1226
01:07:06,561 --> 01:07:10,201
Speaker 1: the front, any girl that would come into the house

1227
01:07:10,321 --> 01:07:13,161
Speaker 1: will do like a welcome, you know, welcome to the house.

1228
01:07:13,201 --> 01:07:17,561
Speaker 1: So of course it was me. I'd have a little

1229
01:07:17,641 --> 01:07:22,601
Speaker 1: do winnier outfit. So these pair of socks, I'd tie

1230
01:07:22,641 --> 01:07:24,481
Speaker 1: them and make them into like a little boob chew

1231
01:07:25,401 --> 01:07:31,721
Speaker 1: right so and just well, and then I'd have a

1232
01:07:31,721 --> 01:07:33,681
Speaker 1: pair of shorts so we're cut into like a real

1233
01:07:33,761 --> 01:07:36,001
Speaker 1: mini skirt. And then i'd have a pair of like

1234
01:07:36,161 --> 01:07:39,401
Speaker 1: long socks, so my hair up in a high pony

1235
01:07:39,561 --> 01:07:42,681
Speaker 1: so you can kind of picture it. Yeah, then they'd

1236
01:07:42,761 --> 01:07:44,921
Speaker 1: all call a house meeting and then I'd be in

1237
01:07:44,921 --> 01:07:48,761
Speaker 1: my room and they'd call out bella, you know, they'd play music,

1238
01:07:49,601 --> 01:07:51,761
Speaker 1: just go out and give him a sharry. I was like, hey,

1239
01:07:52,121 --> 01:07:59,761
Speaker 1: look at jail. Shut the curtains and nobody you know

1240
01:07:59,881 --> 01:08:04,121
Speaker 1: inside couldn't see, and they were all you know, you know,

1241
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,921
Speaker 1: it was a vibe, it was it was good. We

1242
01:08:07,001 --> 01:08:09,281
Speaker 1: had a good laugh. And look if I could put

1243
01:08:09,281 --> 01:08:12,041
Speaker 1: a smile on their face some some way or another,

1244
01:08:12,321 --> 01:08:15,601
Speaker 1: it was by doing that. And yeah, being the person

1245
01:08:15,641 --> 01:08:19,000
Speaker 1: that I am, and that's just you know, the caring

1246
01:08:19,081 --> 01:08:22,201
Speaker 1: nature and laughs that I have, and you need that

1247
01:08:22,281 --> 01:08:25,881
Speaker 1: in a place like like jail. You know, you're you're

1248
01:08:26,201 --> 01:08:29,241
Speaker 1: at your lowest, you're very vulnerable, and it's not a

1249
01:08:29,281 --> 01:08:31,761
Speaker 1: good environment. So if you can make people happy and

1250
01:08:31,801 --> 01:08:34,561
Speaker 1: have a laugh, then you know, that's that's what I

1251
01:08:34,601 --> 01:08:36,881
Speaker 1: was there for. But getting back to my last couple

1252
01:08:36,921 --> 01:08:41,241
Speaker 1: of days, it was quite emotional because obviously I've formed

1253
01:08:41,241 --> 01:08:43,281
Speaker 1: a bomb with these girls and I'd lived with them,

1254
01:08:43,321 --> 01:08:46,481
Speaker 1: i worked with them, and yeah, it was just nice

1255
01:08:46,521 --> 01:08:50,481
Speaker 1: to not be judged because I feel, you know, for

1256
01:08:50,481 --> 01:08:53,041
Speaker 1: for many years now, I'm you know, being in the

1257
01:08:53,041 --> 01:08:56,121
Speaker 1: public eye. I've had a lot of media scrutiny and

1258
01:08:56,121 --> 01:09:00,241
Speaker 1: and people are happy to troll you. But now you'd

1259
01:09:00,241 --> 01:09:04,321
Speaker 1: be pleased, Neil that I actually don't give fuck. I

1260
01:09:05,041 --> 01:09:08,680
Speaker 1: really don't care what people have to say. I am

1261
01:09:08,761 --> 01:09:12,201
Speaker 1: who I am. Yes, I've made mistakes, but it doesn't

1262
01:09:12,241 --> 01:09:16,241
Speaker 1: define me as a person. And if anything, I've learned

1263
01:09:16,241 --> 01:09:19,481
Speaker 1: from this, and it's it's made me stronger and it's

1264
01:09:19,561 --> 01:09:25,960
Speaker 1: made me resilient. I've I've got gratitude and it's realigned

1265
01:09:26,001 --> 01:09:29,801
Speaker 1: my values. So knowing that I can walk away from this,

1266
01:09:30,681 --> 01:09:34,041
Speaker 1: put it all behind me and move forward like it's

1267
01:09:34,121 --> 01:09:36,801
Speaker 1: the best feeling in the world. And you know, the

1268
01:09:37,201 --> 01:09:40,921
Speaker 1: girls made this card and I you know, the little

1269
01:09:40,961 --> 01:09:43,201
Speaker 1: saying that I have is I love that for you.

1270
01:09:43,961 --> 01:09:46,961
Speaker 1: I had the girls all saying it and saying boo,

1271
01:09:47,041 --> 01:09:50,641
Speaker 1: because I'll be like, oh boo. You know, so I

1272
01:09:50,681 --> 01:09:53,041
Speaker 1: had them all saying love that for you, boo. And

1273
01:09:53,761 --> 01:09:55,841
Speaker 1: you know, they made me a card and had so

1274
01:09:55,921 --> 01:10:00,081
Speaker 1: many people sign it, and oh, guess me a bit teary.

1275
01:10:00,961 --> 01:10:03,561
Speaker 1: It says you're going home, and then it says, we

1276
01:10:03,641 --> 01:10:07,801
Speaker 1: love that for you. A few people. Well, actually, as

1277
01:10:07,801 --> 01:10:11,081
Speaker 1: you can see, quite a lot of people have like

1278
01:10:11,201 --> 01:10:13,281
Speaker 1: put their wishes in here, but I would just give

1279
01:10:13,321 --> 01:10:16,361
Speaker 1: you a few, you know small so Bala, You're both

1280
01:10:16,401 --> 01:10:19,121
Speaker 1: surprised and inspire me. It was a pleasure to be

1281
01:10:19,161 --> 01:10:21,161
Speaker 1: in your company. I wish you all the best. I

1282
01:10:21,201 --> 01:10:25,121
Speaker 1: have a great life, Rachel says by Bella. I hope

1283
01:10:25,121 --> 01:10:27,321
Speaker 1: to never see you in here again. You have a

1284
01:10:27,321 --> 01:10:30,441
Speaker 1: beautiful smile. Wish you all the very best and stay happy.

1285
01:10:30,641 --> 01:10:32,720
Speaker 1: I did, Bella. It was a pleasure working with you

1286
01:10:32,761 --> 01:10:35,441
Speaker 1: and getting to know you. Congrats on getting out and

1287
01:10:36,721 --> 01:10:40,241
Speaker 1: keep being a lovely person. Best of luck, Ella, And

1288
01:10:40,281 --> 01:10:43,921
Speaker 1: then you know it also had a girl that you

1289
01:10:43,961 --> 01:10:47,601
Speaker 1: know the last eight weeks was you know, I felt

1290
01:10:47,641 --> 01:10:50,761
Speaker 1: like she could come to me at any time, you know,

1291
01:10:50,841 --> 01:10:53,521
Speaker 1: and talk to me, and it was hard for her.

1292
01:10:53,601 --> 01:10:56,841
Speaker 1: She had a daughter as well, and she'd wrote a

1293
01:10:56,881 --> 01:10:59,321
Speaker 1: little letter and it just said, you know, my dear friend,

1294
01:10:59,321 --> 01:11:01,121
Speaker 1: I'm going to miss you so much. You have been

1295
01:11:01,121 --> 01:11:04,321
Speaker 1: a rock for so many people, including myself, and I'm

1296
01:11:04,361 --> 01:11:07,720
Speaker 1: so grateful I've met you. You're a kind, generous, funny

1297
01:11:07,721 --> 01:11:12,681
Speaker 1: and insightful person. Don't ever let anyone think different of

1298
01:11:12,721 --> 01:11:15,761
Speaker 1: you or less than perfect. Remember what you need to

1299
01:11:15,761 --> 01:11:19,441
Speaker 1: say every day. I'm smart, I'm strong, I'm beautiful, and

1300
01:11:19,481 --> 01:11:23,081
Speaker 1: I'm on fire. Time to move on to the next

1301
01:11:23,441 --> 01:11:26,001
Speaker 1: big adventure. I'll always be cheering you on. And so

1302
01:11:26,121 --> 01:11:29,161
Speaker 1: will Charlie, which is you know, her daughter and says

1303
01:11:29,241 --> 01:11:33,561
Speaker 1: all her love. So it was just nice that, Yeah,

1304
01:11:33,761 --> 01:11:37,201
Speaker 1: like coming out, Yeah, I had a lot of respect

1305
01:11:37,281 --> 01:11:40,401
Speaker 1: in there, and to know that, you know, I've you know,

1306
01:11:40,521 --> 01:11:43,041
Speaker 1: changed people's aspects on life and if I can give

1307
01:11:43,441 --> 01:11:46,281
Speaker 1: had given them something so small like a little bit

1308
01:11:46,281 --> 01:11:52,361
Speaker 1: of advice or you know, trains them, given them some insight. Yeah,

1309
01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:56,201
Speaker 1: I know in myself like that my job there is done,

1310
01:11:56,441 --> 01:12:00,201
Speaker 1: and yeah, I can now finally move forward.

1311
01:12:00,641 --> 01:12:01,881
Speaker 2: Well what was that? What was that day?

1312
01:12:02,001 --> 01:12:02,081
Speaker 1: Like?

1313
01:12:02,241 --> 01:12:05,840
Speaker 2: Well, let's see that the morning and you got released.

1314
01:12:05,921 --> 01:12:06,720
Speaker 2: How did that feel?

1315
01:12:06,801 --> 01:12:10,441
Speaker 1: It was so surreal? You know, just been let out.

1316
01:12:10,481 --> 01:12:12,761
Speaker 2: It I feel like over five months that you were in.

1317
01:12:12,721 --> 01:12:15,681
Speaker 1: There for it felt longer. Yeah, to be fair, you know,

1318
01:12:15,881 --> 01:12:19,760
Speaker 1: And it was just that sigh of relief I think

1319
01:12:19,841 --> 01:12:23,921
Speaker 1: once I got home. Yeah, I just couldn't believe. And

1320
01:12:23,961 --> 01:12:26,241
Speaker 1: I kept saying to myself, like, I can't believe I've

1321
01:12:26,281 --> 01:12:29,961
Speaker 1: just done that, Like I've just done five months behind bars,

1322
01:12:30,121 --> 01:12:34,281
Speaker 1: and a lot of people have doubted me, and I

1323
01:12:34,361 --> 01:12:38,121
Speaker 1: know they have, and I feel that I have not

1324
01:12:38,321 --> 01:12:42,680
Speaker 1: proven because I don't owe anybody anything, but I've proven

1325
01:12:42,721 --> 01:12:46,241
Speaker 1: to myself that I am strong and no matter what

1326
01:12:46,361 --> 01:12:48,641
Speaker 1: is thrown my way, that I can get through it

1327
01:12:48,681 --> 01:12:52,121
Speaker 1: and that will It shows that that was my lowest

1328
01:12:52,641 --> 01:12:55,241
Speaker 1: that I've ever been and to come out as strong

1329
01:12:55,281 --> 01:12:58,841
Speaker 1: as I have is, you know, I think a credit

1330
01:12:58,881 --> 01:13:03,481
Speaker 1: to myself. And it's just so surreal, even sitting here

1331
01:13:03,481 --> 01:13:06,521
Speaker 1: with you, Neil, like st don't think you're no even

1332
01:13:07,081 --> 01:13:08,521
Speaker 1: you know, I think I said at the start. Still

1333
01:13:08,561 --> 01:13:11,281
Speaker 1: for as like ma jail, there's that many cameras like,

1334
01:13:11,361 --> 01:13:17,401
Speaker 1: oh no, what's going on? You know? Yeah, but I yeah,

1335
01:13:17,801 --> 01:13:20,041
Speaker 1: it's such a good feeling. And now for me it's

1336
01:13:20,921 --> 01:13:24,961
Speaker 1: moving forward. I want to put everything behind me and

1337
01:13:24,961 --> 01:13:26,961
Speaker 1: and I look forward to what the future has to

1338
01:13:27,081 --> 01:13:29,481
Speaker 1: hold for me. I have so many goals. I would

1339
01:13:29,521 --> 01:13:33,401
Speaker 1: like to, you know, obviously, release my own personal book.

1340
01:13:33,801 --> 01:13:36,721
Speaker 1: I would like to start my own recovery lounge, my

1341
01:13:36,761 --> 01:13:41,001
Speaker 1: own clothing brands. So I do have so many goals

1342
01:13:41,001 --> 01:13:42,801
Speaker 1: that I want to achieve and I know that I

1343
01:13:42,841 --> 01:13:44,961
Speaker 1: can do it because I'm going to just put my

1344
01:13:45,041 --> 01:13:47,961
Speaker 1: head down and I know that nothing can stop me

1345
01:13:48,001 --> 01:13:53,641
Speaker 1: now and I'm here for it. You know, I've had

1346
01:13:53,641 --> 01:13:57,201
Speaker 1: a story to tell and you're the first one that

1347
01:13:57,721 --> 01:14:01,921
Speaker 1: has been able to sit here and well, I.

1348
01:14:01,921 --> 01:14:04,001
Speaker 2: Think we got that bond from Melbourne and then when

1349
01:14:04,041 --> 01:14:05,921
Speaker 2: you ask me to you know, after you when for

1350
01:14:06,001 --> 01:14:09,121
Speaker 2: the court case and all that and then we stayed

1351
01:14:09,121 --> 01:14:11,161
Speaker 2: in touch. I think we've got to trust you know

1352
01:14:11,201 --> 01:14:13,161
Speaker 2: what I mean. And that's why when I asked you,

1353
01:14:13,161 --> 01:14:15,681
Speaker 2: you know what, I know you you were going to

1354
01:14:15,681 --> 01:14:17,561
Speaker 2: get offers and all like that to come and and

1355
01:14:17,681 --> 01:14:19,841
Speaker 2: tell your story. But the thing is, that's why I

1356
01:14:19,841 --> 01:14:21,961
Speaker 2: said to you, at least you know you can get

1357
01:14:21,961 --> 01:14:25,161
Speaker 2: it out your way, and you know no one can

1358
01:14:25,281 --> 01:14:27,841
Speaker 2: change what you're going to say right now, because then

1359
01:14:27,921 --> 01:14:29,281
Speaker 2: put add words to it, you know what I mean?

1360
01:14:30,001 --> 01:14:31,920
Speaker 2: And I think that's why I said to you, I'd

1361
01:14:31,961 --> 01:14:33,561
Speaker 2: love you to come on the podcast and share your

1362
01:14:33,561 --> 01:14:37,081
Speaker 2: story and put a stop to all the negative people

1363
01:14:37,081 --> 01:14:38,521
Speaker 2: out there who are giving you ship. You know what

1364
01:14:38,561 --> 01:14:42,601
Speaker 2: I mean. But so what what? So if you can

1365
01:14:42,641 --> 01:14:46,281
Speaker 2: say one word that describes being in jail, would you

1366
01:14:46,441 --> 01:14:47,321
Speaker 2: what would you describe?

1367
01:14:48,561 --> 01:14:52,521
Speaker 1: Oh? Jeez, I think politely putting, we can do.

1368
01:14:52,441 --> 01:14:55,401
Speaker 2: Two words if you want.

1369
01:14:55,521 --> 01:14:59,561
Speaker 1: It was the next level just I don't know. It

1370
01:14:59,601 --> 01:15:02,761
Speaker 1: was very eye opening, you know, obviously confronted with a

1371
01:15:02,761 --> 01:15:05,441
Speaker 1: lot of things and had seen being exposed a lot

1372
01:15:05,441 --> 01:15:07,881
Speaker 1: of things because obviously I've never done drugs. I've you know,

1373
01:15:08,041 --> 01:15:10,921
Speaker 1: never done any of that, and you've seen people shoot

1374
01:15:11,041 --> 01:15:14,521
Speaker 1: up or you know, take drugs, and yeah, I didn't

1375
01:15:14,521 --> 01:15:16,760
Speaker 1: even know what beep was until I was in there,

1376
01:15:16,841 --> 01:15:20,760
Speaker 1: and then you know, finding out about all these these things.

1377
01:15:20,801 --> 01:15:23,241
Speaker 1: And it's sad because so many girls in there have

1378
01:15:23,321 --> 01:15:27,041
Speaker 1: so much potential and they just like go down that

1379
01:15:27,081 --> 01:15:30,001
Speaker 1: path and they you know, it's not their first barbecue.

1380
01:15:30,041 --> 01:15:31,561
Speaker 1: They've been in eight nine times.

1381
01:15:31,681 --> 01:15:33,680
Speaker 2: I think I think you told me when we when

1382
01:15:33,681 --> 01:15:35,321
Speaker 2: I was in there visiting you that some of the

1383
01:15:35,401 --> 01:15:39,161
Speaker 2: girls in there take the rap for their partners yeap.

1384
01:15:39,361 --> 01:15:41,481
Speaker 1: Like, So, there was quite a few girls that I

1385
01:15:41,521 --> 01:15:44,441
Speaker 1: got to know when they had taken the rap for

1386
01:15:44,481 --> 01:15:47,041
Speaker 1: their partners obviously drug deals. And it's sad to see

1387
01:15:47,081 --> 01:15:50,641
Speaker 1: because they've got kids, you know, and they're like, oh, well,

1388
01:15:50,761 --> 01:15:53,321
Speaker 1: you know the baby, Daddy's gonna support me and that.

1389
01:15:53,361 --> 01:15:57,521
Speaker 1: But it's like, that's your life, you know. I get

1390
01:15:57,521 --> 01:16:00,241
Speaker 1: it to a certain extent, Like you do the crime,

1391
01:16:00,361 --> 01:16:02,161
Speaker 1: you cop it on the chin and you've got to

1392
01:16:02,161 --> 01:16:05,361
Speaker 1: deal with the consequences, but you don't do it and

1393
01:16:05,361 --> 01:16:09,081
Speaker 1: you're taking the rap for somebody. Yeah, it's it's it's

1394
01:16:09,121 --> 01:16:12,201
Speaker 1: not nice, you know, for their own gain, like the

1395
01:16:12,281 --> 01:16:16,481
Speaker 1: male's gain. It's I don't see how they can how

1396
01:16:16,481 --> 01:16:19,281
Speaker 1: they can do it, but yeah, but they do. And

1397
01:16:19,481 --> 01:16:21,441
Speaker 1: it's hard. You know, a lot of kids, a lot

1398
01:16:21,481 --> 01:16:24,041
Speaker 1: of women have kids in there, and to be away

1399
01:16:24,161 --> 01:16:26,680
Speaker 1: from you know, even for myself, just to be away

1400
01:16:26,681 --> 01:16:30,361
Speaker 1: from loved ones was really difficult, you know. So it's

1401
01:16:30,361 --> 01:16:33,401
Speaker 1: taught me life's too short and just take every day

1402
01:16:33,441 --> 01:16:37,881
Speaker 1: as it comes and be grateful, you know, for each

1403
01:16:37,961 --> 01:16:39,680
Speaker 1: day that I wake up, I want.

1404
01:16:39,561 --> 01:16:41,921
Speaker 2: To say thank you for coming on. Thanks, I want

1405
01:16:41,961 --> 01:16:44,361
Speaker 2: to say thank you for sharing your story with me.

1406
01:16:44,681 --> 01:16:48,881
Speaker 1: It made me cry. Neil Like, no, I'm a pick.

1407
01:16:49,041 --> 01:16:51,561
Speaker 2: Now, but I hope everything goes well for you in

1408
01:16:51,561 --> 01:16:53,761
Speaker 2: the future, and I hope in all the goals that

1409
01:16:53,801 --> 01:16:57,201
Speaker 2: you've got succeed with the more and everyone just fucking

1410
01:16:57,241 --> 01:16:58,881
Speaker 2: leaves you alone and you get on with your lobe.

1411
01:16:59,881 --> 01:17:01,681
Speaker 1: Thanks again for coming on, Thanks for having me. I

1412
01:17:01,721 --> 01:17:03,760
Speaker 1: really appreciate it. Thank you.