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Speaker 1: Coming up Relatables. Things guys say versus what they should say.

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Speaker 1: This is what they say, I don't like going on

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Speaker 1: my phone on a night out.

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Speaker 2: Okay. What they should say is.

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Speaker 1: I'm an asshole and I want to do what I

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Speaker 1: want when I want, and you should be okay with

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Speaker 1: it because again I'm an asshole.

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Speaker 2: Pattern Matt, would you like to go on a date

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Speaker 2: with me? Not? Let's hang out? Facts? Bro? I actually

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Speaker 2: I love that. I don't think anything more is facts

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Speaker 2: and that I absolutely love that. After doing this pod,

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Speaker 2: one of the things I hate the most is, like

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Speaker 2: we find out how many people just call it hanging out?

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Speaker 1: And also, you know what, one more thing that you

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Speaker 1: miss is you miss the imaginary life that you built

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Speaker 1: or the life that you had planned that now no

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Speaker 1: longer is going to happen.

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Speaker 2: And you miss that You're like, wait, now, what's my

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Speaker 2: life going to look like in ten years? Relatable the

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Speaker 2: Relatables podcast is hosted by myself, Jake Craig aka Daddy,

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Speaker 2: and my partner in crime, Bodie Clark aka Big M

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Speaker 2: Big M Baby. We're back again again, back back and ready.

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Speaker 2: But we have a big announcement to start, don't we Jake.

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Speaker 1: Very exciting announcement, this one. This has been about a

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Speaker 1: month in the making.

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Speaker 2: Yes, the first episode of twenty twenty five, we had

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Speaker 2: a little challenge for everybody listening slash more so watching. Yes,

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Speaker 2: there was a QR code hidden within the episode, and

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Speaker 2: all you had to do was scan it and get

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Speaker 2: in the running to win Who Jake Gracie Abrams tickets. Yes,

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Speaker 2: that's it, and we right now are about to call

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Speaker 2: the winner. Yes, alright. You just want to say a

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Speaker 2: big thank you to everyone that entered the Gracy Abrams giveaway. Yes,

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Speaker 2: this is exciting. We're about to have a random pick

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Speaker 2: I choose who wins the free tickets. We're going to

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Speaker 2: spin the wheel. That's been exciting. Ship a lot of

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Speaker 2: people entered it. Scary. It looks like it's Victoria, Victoria

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Speaker 2: car Tusano. Let's call her and give her the good news.

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Speaker 2: Let's go Hello, you're there. Yeah? Is that Victoria? Yes,

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Speaker 2: it's Jack and from the relatables. Just want the Gracey aprostick. Yes,

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Speaker 2: you were putting us straight to voice. That's why I

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Speaker 2: was Thanks so much for entering. And we've got your

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Speaker 2: email and everything, and we'll send the tickets over. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: thank you, no worries at all. Have a good day.

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Speaker 2: You too. Lucky? She rang back, Yeah, very lucky, she

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Speaker 2: rang back. She's sending me straight to voice messages. I'm

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Speaker 2: pretty jealous. Actually, I would have loved to go to

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Speaker 2: Grace mate. I'm I'm going, I'm on the floor. I'm jealous.

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Speaker 2: And then when when Beth got those first tickets, we

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Speaker 2: thought we were going to be sitting there, and for

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Speaker 2: some reason, I had like this impression that we were

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Speaker 2: going to be back up very top. Yeah. And she

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Speaker 2: went and looked at them the other day and she

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, they're like they seated tickets, but they're

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Speaker 2: full good. Yeah, they're actually like close. And I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh fuck, I frecking anywhere and they would be good.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, seen her to fuck Jesus, She's magical. I

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Speaker 2: was like, she's got fifty million monthly listeners on Spotify,

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Speaker 2: and I was just like, Jake's bay gone through all.

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Speaker 2: I've gone. I've just listening for some reason.

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Speaker 1: Well, because like we can see ours right yeah in

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Speaker 1: the back end. Here's a question for you actually, before

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Speaker 1: we get into the first segment, do you reckon on Spotify?

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Speaker 2: I reckon? They should Yeah, do you reckon? It should

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Speaker 2: say monthly listeners.

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Speaker 1: Maybe not that, but it should say how many Like

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Speaker 1: how on YouTube you can see how many people have

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Speaker 1: watched the YouTube video. Do you think you should say

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Speaker 1: how many listeners you get on each episode?

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Speaker 2: Well? I think just playing on Spotify, I think it

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Speaker 2: should say monthly listeners reckon because I always gauge artists

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Speaker 2: like how good they are by how many monthly listeners.

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Speaker 2: I look at that and I think they must be good, yes,

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Speaker 2: and like us, yeah, like tooting our own horn. But

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Speaker 2: we'd look pretty average, like better and average. I yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: we would. You'd look at it and you go, well

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Speaker 2: off that many people like it. I feel like it

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Speaker 2: out will do better for a podcast, just be like,

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Speaker 2: come on Spotify. Why, I don't understand. I don't understand.

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Speaker 2: They are a little they If anyone ever starts a podcast, right,

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Speaker 2: highly recommend it.

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Speaker 1: It's a fun thing. It's not as saturated as you think.

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Speaker 1: All right, It's very fun and you can do well

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Speaker 1: if you stick to it. But Spotify is a little

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Speaker 1: like I love Spotify. They're a little like with the data.

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Speaker 1: I think because they love their data.

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Speaker 2: I think because music's been there for so long and

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Speaker 2: on the scheme of things, podcast is still so new,

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Speaker 2: Yeah that they're like, I don't know what to do

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Speaker 2: fair and even I guess think about how old music

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Speaker 2: is before Spotify. Yeah, if I came out, what early

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Speaker 2: two thousands, I think so, yeah, or like early teens.

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Speaker 2: I think it might have been just after twenty ten. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: the podcast thing came out in like twenty fourteen, twenty

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Speaker 2: fifth thirteen.

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Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I think there's people that have been podcasting. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's maybe twenty thirteen, and that's like Joe Rogan and

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Speaker 1: two others.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then just mate, I don't know, fuck, do

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Speaker 2: you reckon? There's going to be what's the next thing?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I've always wanted to be in the

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Speaker 2: next thing. Yeah, what's that? Okay? When Joe Rogan started podcasting,

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Speaker 2: people were like the fuck, Yeah, what are you doing? Right?

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Speaker 2: What's the next thing? I'll tell you what. Though, human

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Speaker 2: nature always has the mindset that like, oh, it's already

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Speaker 2: so big, there's already so many people. I'm not going

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Speaker 2: to do it. Yeah, like TikTok. If you want to

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Speaker 2: start a TikTok account, you're like, oh, it's so saturated. Nah,

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Speaker 2: can't be fucked, or I want to start a podcast,

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Speaker 2: I want to become an artist, like oh nah, there's

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Speaker 2: already so many people out there in reality. It doesn't

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Speaker 2: matter what is.

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Speaker 1: If you want to do it, just do it, because

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Speaker 1: the next thing is going to be someone that is

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Speaker 1: going so wildly against the grain that it's gonna be

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Speaker 1: years of you're crazy, you're crazy, you're crazy.

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Speaker 2: We need to think of it and we need to

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Speaker 2: do it. I think the next thing is just like

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Speaker 2: a different type of video format. Yeah, like YouTube's making

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Speaker 2: a change at the moment from that mister beast like

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Speaker 2: clickie ten minute, like doom boom boom, you watch this

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Speaker 2: right now? Yeah, to like hour long, slower more type movie.

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Speaker 2: Trust TikTok was trying to do that for ages.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, TikTok's like algorithm was just getting fucked because they

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Speaker 1: were like, oh no, we want it so people can

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Speaker 1: post long form content and flip their phone and.

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Speaker 2: Have it in. It didn't work by nine twenty, nineteen

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Speaker 2: twenty or whatever, and it didn't work, No, not at all. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So I'm so I'm so keen.

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Speaker 1: We need we need a brainstorm because we've had a

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Speaker 1: few business ideas where we thought yeah, and then people

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Speaker 1: come out with them.

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Speaker 2: We're like fuck talking about business ideas. I sort of

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Speaker 2: had one the other day and then it came up

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Speaker 2: on my fucking TikTok for you paid, and I was

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Speaker 2: pissed it. So you know how when you're with your partner,

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Speaker 2: you can never choose a movie because a male and fem.

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Speaker 2: I've been seeing this go on. Have you seen the app?

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Speaker 2: I'm pissed. It's like we had an idea. I was like,

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Speaker 2: imagine if you could swipe, like you both had your

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Speaker 2: accounts connected and you selected which platform if you had Netflix,

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Speaker 2: stand or Disney, and then it came up with the

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Speaker 2: movies that correlated on that platform, and then you both swipe,

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Speaker 2: and then when you matched, you you like, yeah, sweet,

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Speaker 2: this is the moment that it's a genius idea. But yes,

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Speaker 2: someone has created it. I know, and I downloaded and

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Speaker 2: it's full good is actually? Oh shit's it? What's it called?

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Speaker 2: Because I want it's called No, I'm not fucking free primary.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you after I'm pissed, man, I'll show you

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Speaker 2: them up and we'll say, mate, we love movies on there,

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Speaker 2: but Disney. So they don't have access to all of them,

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Speaker 2: so business opportunity. Last night, how do you feel about this?

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Speaker 1: Johanna was like, do you I always end up back

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Speaker 1: on Netflix, and I was like saying, same, I always

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Speaker 1: end up back on Netflix. Also, I hate it when

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Speaker 1: you go to hover over one of the things and

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Speaker 1: it goes to the trailer. I don't know why, but

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Speaker 1: I hate that.

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Speaker 2: Do I? Because sometimes I want to like put it

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Speaker 2: on and then go do something, but I don't, and yeah,

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Speaker 2: and it starts. I'm like, no, that's not what I

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Speaker 2: want to watch. Yeah, I just don't have to stay there,

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Speaker 2: or at least repeat the trailer. Don't go and play

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Speaker 2: the whole thing exactly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, repeat the trailer. At least you don't fucking force

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Speaker 1: me to watch something I didn't choose. That's just like

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Speaker 1: holding me against my will. It's not legal. Okay, But

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Speaker 1: what are we starting with today?

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Speaker 2: Things? Boys should say? This should be a good insight,

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Speaker 2: maybe a bit of knowledge. Are some nine to ten

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Speaker 2: percent male listeners? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Everyone, get everyone, get your boyfriends listening. We had we

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Speaker 1: had a girl email us a woman sorry, a woman

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Speaker 1: emails Yes. I don't know if it was a dilemma

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Speaker 1: or something. But a girl sent us. I think she said,

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Speaker 1: I love the podcast. My ex boyfriend used to hate that.

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Speaker 1: I listened to it.

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Speaker 2: Oh what, and that's why I made him my ex

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Speaker 2: something along those lines. I was like, there's a reason

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Speaker 2: why he's an ex. And I was like, shit, So

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Speaker 2: maybe when when all the girls, because we're outing yeah,

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Speaker 2: toxic boyfriends.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like all the baddies will be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: these guys are kind of talking some sense. And so

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Speaker 1: then boyfriends are going no, no, no, no, no no, because they

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Speaker 1: don't They're like it makes sense, but they're like no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm stubborn.

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Speaker 2: And so then they don't they hate that they watch it.

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Speaker 2: I love that actually. So girls are going away from

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Speaker 2: this episode and they're like, oh wait a second, my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend doesn't do this. Talk to their boyfriend and like

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Speaker 2: where did you get this from. He's like, oh, relatable,

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Speaker 2: and he's like stop listening. Those guys are just fucking

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Speaker 2: says some slurs about us or something.

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Speaker 1: Like that, like fuck you. But so yeah, the way

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Speaker 1: my hair, I was like, things guys say versus what

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Speaker 1: they should say. Pretty much, Yeah, that's what That's what

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Speaker 1: I've gone with.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'll go first. Things boys should say, I'm not

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Speaker 2: feeling the best. Can we talk about it? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, facts, Yeah, I've been getting deep one. I've been

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Speaker 1: getting slightly better at this because I get super anxious

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Speaker 1: about it.

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Speaker 2: Do you get anxious to bring stuff up a little bit?

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Speaker 2: I get not anxious sometimes. My body sort of has

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Speaker 2: trouble deciphering the difference between anxious and nervous. Yeah. See,

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Speaker 2: are they the same thing? Though? I no, No, I

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Speaker 2: think anxious is like a different, more more type feeling right,

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Speaker 2: and nervousness it's like worse. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think maybe I'm just I just get nervous about

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Speaker 1: it because like when let's say, like, that's pretty good

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Speaker 1: at bringing stuff up if I've maybe hurt her feelings

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Speaker 1: or something like that, but I didn't mean to. She's

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Speaker 1: good at bringing it up and just being like, I

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Speaker 1: know you didn't mean to, but you did.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm like, oh, I appreciate that, thank you.

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Speaker 2: I didn't mean too.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but ah, if she does it, I convinced myself,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to bring it up because she

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Speaker 1: doesn't know she's hurt my feelings.

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Speaker 2: But I know she didn't mean to therefore, why would

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Speaker 2: I bring it up? You know, exantly?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And so then I convinced myself not to and

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Speaker 1: so I've been getting trying to get better at bringing

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Speaker 1: stuff up, and it's like to the point where I'm like,

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Speaker 1: and then I do it. I feel so much better

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Speaker 1: because she's like, oh, thanks for telling me.

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Speaker 2: I feel like our nature and Guy's nature as well

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Speaker 2: as like we hate the confrontation. So if we are sad,

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Speaker 2: instead of going, oh, I'm not feeling the best, can

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Speaker 2: we talk about it, we say we don't say anything,

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Speaker 2: and we're like, oh, just deal with it myself. It

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Speaker 2: is weird, like I'm feeling a bit sad, but like

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Speaker 2: I'll get over it, Like fuck it. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to have the conversation. I know. Always I always go

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Speaker 2: to that. I'm trying and catch myself out saying like, oh,

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Speaker 2: maybe no, I do need to talk about it. I'm

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Speaker 2: sad for a reason, I know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like the tough conversation is annoying because

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Speaker 1: I'm not mad at you.

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Speaker 2: No, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: It's like I'm not mad at you, but just like

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Speaker 1: I kind of I want you to know that, like

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Speaker 1: I don't know what something that you're doing is kind

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Speaker 1: of make me feel shitty, And I know you don't

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Speaker 1: mean to make me feel shitty, and I don't want

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Speaker 1: to make you feel shitty with guilt.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I just think you should know. It's

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Speaker 2: like so, I don't know why. It's just the craziest

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Speaker 2: spiral that I get, like a battle in your head

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Speaker 2: and a battle in the relationship. Do you get that? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I relatable.

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Speaker 1: I hate it so much. Okay, things guys say versus

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Speaker 1: what they should say. There's things guys say, right, I'm

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Speaker 1: guilty of this. No, I don't feel like a sweet treat.

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Speaker 2: What they should say is, of course, I'll get a

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Speaker 2: sweet treat with you. You need to. My little speck of dust,

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Speaker 2: you're gonna wither away into nothing, my little speck of dust.

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Speaker 2: Where the fuck did you get that from? TikTok?

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Speaker 1: I was like, I thought of it, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: what I see all those ones where it goes skipped

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Speaker 1: my sweet treat tonight.

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Speaker 2: If you see a speck of dust flowing around, that's

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Speaker 2: just me. You don't worry about me, especially if the girl

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Speaker 2: brings it up first. You always have to be like obviously, yes,

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Speaker 2: I will get a sweet treat with you. Yes, I

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Speaker 2: definitely will, even when you don't feel like one. Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 2: all right. Things boys should say, would you like to

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Speaker 2: go on a date with me? Not? Let's hang out? Facts? Bro?

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Speaker 2: I actually I love that. I don't think anything more

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Speaker 2: is facts and that I absolutely love that. After doing

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Speaker 2: this pod, one of the things I hate the most is,

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Speaker 2: like we find out how many people just call it

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Speaker 2: hanging out. Yeah, like put intension on what you're doing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And even like talking to friends and they kind

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Speaker 1: of go like talking about maybe a girl that they're seeing, right,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, yeah, like you have been hanging

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Speaker 1: out with this girl. Even then it's like you should

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Speaker 1: just be like, yeah, I've been dating this girl.

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Speaker 2: Like you don't have.

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Speaker 1: To be an exclusive couple to be dating because you

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Speaker 1: guys have been on dates like you are dating someone exactly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I tell you what was really interesting Patreon plug,

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Speaker 2: we had then interesting debate slash argument about conversations around

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Speaker 2: what are we and me and Jake had very different

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Speaker 2: stands on it. It's on Patreon, sorry, plug five dollars

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Speaker 2: a month. But the comments because I replied, all the

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Speaker 2: Patreon comments were very split it. Oh, they were also

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Speaker 2: split a few more with me. I was in a

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Speaker 2: strong mindset of you should I'm not going to say anymore, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but so they were they would kind of split, yeah,

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Speaker 2: a little bit, right. So maybe it is just like

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Speaker 2: a matter of that one's just like personal preference. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but I think it's also having like a standing ground

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Speaker 2: of making it known that it's you have been purpose

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Speaker 2: to the date. Yeah, Like it's a date. You're not

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Speaker 2: hanging out, Like if I hang out with Jake, I

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Speaker 2: don't want to kiss Hi at the end the day,

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Speaker 2: do I? Yeah, if you want to kiss him, if

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Speaker 2: you want to kiss them, it's a fucking day. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: if you want to kiss them, it's a date.

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Speaker 1: Most of the time, you want to kiss them from

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Speaker 1: the start. Literally, fucking hell. Okay, things guys that things

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Speaker 1: guys say.

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Speaker 2: Versus what they should say.

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Speaker 1: This first one is just silence, like radio silence, right,

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Speaker 1: just pretend okay, versus what they should say. And this

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Speaker 1: is only really around this time of year. I know

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Speaker 1: we're a couple in all, but will you be my valentine?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go. Still have to say yeah, yeah, even

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Speaker 2: if you've been dating for twelve hundred years. Yeah, you

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Speaker 2: gotta ask your girl will you be my Valentine's Oh? Man.

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Speaker 1: I was talking to Beth about this the other day, right. Actually,

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Speaker 1: first I saw a TikTok yesterday and it was like

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Speaker 1: a just a little carousel TikTok post and it was

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Speaker 1: a photo of a girl and it was her. Why

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Speaker 1: haven't you asked me to be your Valentine yet?

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Speaker 2: And it goes over to the boyfriend and obviously a

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Speaker 2: guy made this, and he said, do you ask your

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Speaker 2: mum to be your mother on Mother's Day? I was like,

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Speaker 2: come on, it's not called girlfriend's Day, It's called Valentine's Day.

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Speaker 2: For both of you to come on, Valentine's Day is romantic.

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Speaker 2: Mother's Day is at romantic. No, Mother's Day is not romantic.

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Speaker 1: But I was talking to Beth about it, right yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I was kind I kind of have like a

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Speaker 1: bit of a separate stance on it, right, So I

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Speaker 1: I asked Beth because I know that she likes that,

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Speaker 1: like it makes her feel good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And then the act of asking her to be

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Speaker 2: my Valentine is like.

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Speaker 1: It seems it's like you see of boyfriend that's putting

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Speaker 1: a lot of effort in, but not much effort goes

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Speaker 1: into it, because all you're.

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Speaker 2: Saying is will you be my Valentine? Literally, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean. But it means so much to her

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Speaker 2: if she likes that.

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Speaker 1: But I was also saying, like I can see I

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Speaker 1: can see both arguments where if a boyfriend was like,

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Speaker 1: we're dating, obviously you're my Valentine. If he was to like,

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Speaker 1: on Valentine's Day he hasn't asked, but made Valentine's Day

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Speaker 1: like very special, then I think that's also fine. But

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Speaker 1: if you're the type of guy that just like goes

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Speaker 1: I don't believe in Valentine's Day, that's what I think.

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Speaker 2: It's shit. Yeah, you know what I mean. That's toxic.

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Speaker 2: I think what you said about the gestures and making

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Speaker 2: a special day is definitely right, but it's also not

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Speaker 2: hard just to say do all that and then also

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Speaker 2: the day before, a couple of days before, will you

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Speaker 2: be my Valentine's Day? Yeah, to Valentine, I don't see it.

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Speaker 2: Just say it's a sentence, will you be my Valentine.

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00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,000
Speaker 2: It's a fucking scene. It's talking about Oh that piss

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00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,440
Speaker 2: you off. Actually I just realized I just did it

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Speaker 2: right then. Anyone listening might have picked up on it. It's

354
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 2: Valentine's Day. Yeah, I know, I know, it's me. I

355
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,360
Speaker 2: did a fucking brand deal for some flowers, which is

356
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Speaker 2: really good, and I subconsciously say Valentine's Day with an

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00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,880
Speaker 2: M and like I didn't even edited the video, listened

358
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Speaker 2: back to it like ten times, didn't pick up on

359
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Speaker 2: a once, send it to him, didn't pick up on it.

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Speaker 2: And then the comments were like Valentine's and it had

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Speaker 2: like ten lights and I was like, I hate myself.

362
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,360
Speaker 2: I hate how I talked. I saw the video right,

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Speaker 2: I didn't even know.

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Speaker 1: And then and and it also came up on BET's

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Speaker 1: page and she sent it to me and she wrote

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Speaker 1: and she said and just underneath all she wrote was

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Speaker 1: Valentine's and I was like, yeah, I know, he said it.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm assuming he filmed it, edited it,

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Speaker 2: and thought, fuck, Cob, I didn't even know, Ayet, And

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00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,720
Speaker 2: but you didn't even really, I didn't even know. I

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00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,160
Speaker 2: didn't even know. I thought it was a great video

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00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,200
Speaker 2: and it was a good video, and I didn't even

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Speaker 2: realize until you just set it right then and you

374
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,880
Speaker 2: said it right, and I was like, damn, man, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I see, I've always known it's Valentine to see the

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Speaker 2: gesture still there in my heart.

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00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,680
Speaker 1: Did you genuinely grow up thinking it was spelt with

378
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,840
Speaker 1: an M? Like if you would have write down valid

379
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:04,160
Speaker 1: probably I probably thought it was Valentine's Day? I don't

380
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Speaker 1: know why.

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00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:09,800
Speaker 2: That's funny? Bro alright, my last one things boys should say.

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00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,600
Speaker 2: This one's going across two days. Oh okay, I like this. Okay,

383
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,400
Speaker 2: I had a great time. I'll call you tomorrow. Bring bing,

384
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,919
Speaker 2: bring bing, Hey, you want to do this again sometime.

385
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,080
Speaker 2: So basically, what you're saying is, don't fucking lie and

386
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:33,919
Speaker 2: just stay through your word. Literally. Well wait, that just

387
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,480
Speaker 2: sounds so easy. Why don't they do it? I don't know, man,

388
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,880
Speaker 2: it's quite hard to be a man of your word.

389
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Speaker 2: We've found out on this pod. Oh fuck, it is

390
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:44,960
Speaker 2: hard to tell you what. It's hard to be a

391
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,919
Speaker 2: man of your word when you have a bad a

392
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:53,320
Speaker 2: bad memory. Is that your cop out? I wonder if

393
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,160
Speaker 2: a segment would be good, like some memory exercises for you,

394
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,120
Speaker 2: or we just play like cards and play memory beforehand.

395
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,879
Speaker 1: That's actually a good idea. Just play a couple of

396
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,080
Speaker 1: rounds of that memory game. It's good for old people

397
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,199
Speaker 1: with dementia. It's actually, yeah, it takes good because it

398
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,840
Speaker 1: trains your brain to remember stuff.

399
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Speaker 2: Fucking no.

400
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got one more things guys say versus what

401
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:13,680
Speaker 1: they should say.

402
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 2: This is what they say, I don't like going on

403
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,919
Speaker 2: my phone on a night out. Okay. What they should

404
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,400
Speaker 2: say is I'm an asshole.

405
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,560
Speaker 1: And I want to do what I want when I want,

406
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,840
Speaker 1: and you should be okay with it because again I'm

407
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Speaker 1: an asshole.

408
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:37,600
Speaker 2: Pattern Matt. Basically what they're saying when you read between

409
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 2: the lines, Yeah, yeah, so what do he said? That's

410
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 2: what he actually means. That's what he should just say.

411
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 2: Just come out and say it. I just don't get today.

412
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 2: Absolutely fucking trash, hilarious. I'm just a bad reply. I'm

413
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,760
Speaker 2: trying to think, like, let me live in the moment.

414
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Speaker 1: I definitely have gone through like a phase when I

415
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,639
Speaker 1: was younger with a girlfriend where I was just thinking,

416
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,080
Speaker 1: like I do I just want to live in the

417
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Speaker 1: moment and I can just go tap myself on the

418
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Speaker 1: shoulder and be like yeah, just hard to just like

419
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 1: maybe once an hour, just send.

420
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 2: An updated three seconds, just sucking updated. Yeah, you're still

421
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,439
Speaker 2: in the moment. What moment did you? Yeah, Like, if

422
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,119
Speaker 2: you can go through the effort of walking up to

423
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 2: a bargain a dream. As you're walking up, just get

424
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 2: your phone out and while you're waiting to pay, just

425
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 2: be like exactly, hey, what you're waiting for him to

426
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:29,359
Speaker 2: make it? Yeah? Fucking bullshit? Yeah, so bullshit. Dilemmas is

427
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,840
Speaker 2: up next, Jake? How do they submit a dilemma?

428
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 1: The way you submit a dilemmas is in the description

429
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,159
Speaker 1: of this video.

430
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:36,920
Speaker 2: There will be a link.

431
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 1: Okay, either use that or you go to our Instagram

432
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,239
Speaker 1: bio and you click the link in the bio and

433
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,399
Speaker 1: you scroll down and you choose dilemmas and you do

434
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 1: it that way.

435
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 2: That's it. This dilemma is tricky, Jake, did I get ghosted?

436
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,720
Speaker 2: I've got a bit of a crazy dilemma. I love

437
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,840
Speaker 2: the podcast and you guys always do such a good

438
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,959
Speaker 2: job of seeing into guys brains for us girlies, and

439
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,720
Speaker 2: your advice is always it's so insightful. I was hoping

440
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:05,040
Speaker 2: you could help me out with this one. So basically,

441
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:07,360
Speaker 2: I am nineteen and was talking to a twenty five

442
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 2: year old guy from Tinder for about two weeks he

443
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 2: was beautiful, and we had insane chat, the best banter

444
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 2: all round. Vibes were high, and I really couldn't wait

445
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 2: to see him. He never gave a vibe that he

446
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 2: was looking for something serious or long term, and neither

447
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:27,000
Speaker 2: did I, which was completely okay with me. But still,

448
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:31,879
Speaker 2: the messaging was super consistent and always really interesting. It

449
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 2: did get a little bit naughty, if you know what

450
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 2: I mean, but I am a virgin in brackets. I

451
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:41,639
Speaker 2: didn't tell him that and brackets, but I did let

452
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 2: him know on three occasions that I have a rule

453
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 2: that we're not having sex on the first date, and

454
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,679
Speaker 2: I'm not a smash and dash kind of girl. He

455
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 2: came to my city for the weekend and we made

456
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:55,159
Speaker 2: plans on Friday, which we didn't follow through both of

457
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 2: our faults, and Saturday and Sunday we tried to see

458
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,439
Speaker 2: each other, but that didn't work out either my fault.

459
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,760
Speaker 2: We both really wanted to see each other, and he

460
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 2: ended up staying extra in town another day purely to

461
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 2: meet me. Neither of us felt like going out, so

462
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 2: we decided he could come over and we could order

463
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 2: in in Bracket's probably not the best idea, but my

464
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 2: sister was home, so I felt comfortable. We talked quite

465
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 2: a bit in person, and he had really good chat

466
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 2: and we had a connection. We were talking about movies,

467
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,959
Speaker 2: so we decided to put one on. Long story short,

468
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 2: things got a bit heateed. We moved to the bedroom

469
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 2: and somehow ended up breaking my rule for him. Afterwards,

470
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 2: we sat on the couch and talked for a while.

471
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 2: We were joking and messing around, and he gave me

472
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,199
Speaker 2: kisses on the forehead, telling me how beautiful I was

473
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 2: and was just being really cute. He left and I

474
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 2: felt pretty okay about the situation, and he said he

475
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,399
Speaker 2: would be back in my city the following weekend, coming

476
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 2: the next day. He didn't message me, and around the

477
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 2: afternoon I got quite upset about it. I sent him

478
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 2: a reel that related to him, and he laughed at

479
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,199
Speaker 2: it and answered, and I answered back. He read my

480
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 2: message a couple hours later and hasn't sent a message

481
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,920
Speaker 2: since Tuesday. It's Thursday when I'm sending this, so almost

482
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 2: been a week. Jeez. I don't know what to do

483
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 2: in the situation. I feel quite used and icky about

484
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 2: it now. I'm not sure if I should send him

485
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 2: a message telling him I feel hurt and disrespect disrespected,

486
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 2: especially since I told him that I'm not that type

487
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 2: of girl. Or maybe it would be better just to

488
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 2: leave it and block him and try to move on

489
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 2: from the situation. I hate the thought of losing my

490
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,480
Speaker 2: vcar to a random guaft tinder that I might never

491
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,879
Speaker 2: see again, and I'm just not sure how to move forward.

492
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry this is insanely long, but I just

493
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 2: feel so stuck. I don't have an objective view on

494
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 2: this or or whatsoever, and I really appreciate an insight.

495
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 2: Love you, guys, so much. Love from Greece. Wow, Greece

496
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,719
Speaker 2: all the way from Greece. Yeah. Very A little bit

497
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 2: sad at the end. It just sad. I apologize, but

498
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,680
Speaker 2: I'm not apologizing on his behalf. But I just am

499
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,679
Speaker 2: sorry about the situation. Sorry it happened to you. I

500
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 2: have empathy for you. I thought it was a very

501
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: good dilemma to learn from, potentially for other maybe young girls.

502
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,679
Speaker 2: And it's sort of going off our first segment that

503
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 2: some dudes are very trash. Yes, and what I wanted

504
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 2: to say was him ghosting you doesn't change your value

505
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 2: at all. No, And although it's completely out of your

506
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 2: control and very sad that it happened to you. And

507
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 2: it's even worse because it was your virginity. Him leaving

508
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 2: or not replying shouldn't make you feel less than you

509
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 2: are in any way. If he can't see how valuable

510
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 2: you are, yeah, that's his fucking problem. Yeah. And although

511
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,639
Speaker 2: it's sad, I think it also comes down to a

512
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 2: personal preference. If you want closure, potentially messaging him him

513
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 2: might help, But in my personal opinion, I think you'll

514
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 2: get fuck all from it. He'll just be like, oh,

515
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 2: just foot, we'll having phone. Yeah.

516
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be surprised if you got a fuck all

517
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: from it. Yeah, but if you got something from it,

518
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:05,160
Speaker 1: that would be great.

519
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 2: Yeah. But basically my biggest takeaway was him ghosting you

520
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 2: doesn't change your value at all. And it's a good

521
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 2: learning curve because although they are hot, sexy, do all

522
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 2: the right things, you can never really tell. No, you can't.

523
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 2: That's actually so that's a good point. Yeah, you actually

524
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 2: cannot ever tell because people can just act. Yeah, just act.

525
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,439
Speaker 2: And I guess the thing that hurts is that it

526
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 2: probably just hurts that maybe he was acting. That's probably

527
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 2: what hurts. What makes you feel like shit, it's a

528
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,919
Speaker 2: harsh lesson funny that you talk about closure, because I

529
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,239
Speaker 2: was gonna and just a different episode, I saw like

530
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 2: this sick threat and it was what was something your

531
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 2: counselor or therapist has said to you that changed your life,

532
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 2: and one of them was someone's counselor said to them.

533
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 2: Closure is a luxury, and most of the time we

534
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,640
Speaker 2: don't get it because it's a luxury, and not everyone

535
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 2: gets luxury items. You have to look at it as

536
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 2: like a luxury item. Although you're entitled to closure, it's

537
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:01,400
Speaker 2: a luxury.

538
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: You don't always get it, and sometimes you just have

539
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: to get over it and move on, which is like

540
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 1: harsh in the end, but it makes a lot of

541
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 1: sense calling it a luxury item.

542
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 2: I really really like that.

543
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I just kin't. I remember reading it and

544
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, I actually bring this up because.

545
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:18,239
Speaker 2: Closure comes from someone else or something else, and it's

546
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 2: out of your control. But if you somehow gather that

547
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,120
Speaker 2: mindset if it's a luxury and don't let closure, having

548
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 2: closure or not control how you feel, you potentially move

549
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 2: on faster or Yeah. And I think the first step

550
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 2: would even just be like maybe listening to that quote

551
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:35,880
Speaker 2: or something and being like, yeah, that.

552
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 1: Makes a lot of sense. It's not gonna help you

553
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: straight away. You're gonna feel like shit for a while.

554
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: You're a human being, you have feelings.

555
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 2: He's literally like at the moment, you feel as though

556
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 2: he's used you. And the annoying thing is that you

557
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 2: don't know if he has or not.

558
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's just probably I guess the safest thing

559
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 1: to assume is he has. You got to like keep

560
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,160
Speaker 1: your you've got to understand what you're worth, and then

561
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 1: just I don't know, I mean.

562
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 2: Try to look on the bright side. Was the sex good?

563
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 2: You lost your virginity to a go on tinder devo?

564
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 2: Was it sex good? Yes? Take away days Yeah, like

565
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 2: glass half full take away Tinder Like it's just like

566
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 2: meeting another person if feels hot, like that's and it

567
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 2: was good sex. Who cares? But also yeah, I just

568
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 2: think as long as you don't let him control how

569
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 2: you feel, yeah, that's the most important thing.

570
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 1: It is hard because it's like all it's just like

571
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: super easier said than done.

572
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,959
Speaker 2: But I guess when you when you hear the advice,

573
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 2: it's just like you just like best case scenario is

574
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 2: you don't message him, yeah, I would say, try to

575
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,679
Speaker 2: move on. And then within a week or two he

576
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 2: comes crawling back, yeah, and was like, oh I had

577
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 2: a fun time. We should do it again.

578
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, actually yeah, I'm good as Yeah,

579
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,360
Speaker 1: I say fuck, I fully agree. I reckon, fuck off,

580
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: get rid of him, unfollow him, like you just gonna

581
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,679
Speaker 1: now look at this is just something that's in the past.

582
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 1: And yeah, if he comes crawling back, it's like I reckon.

583
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:51,919
Speaker 1: If he's throwing back, if he.

584
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 2: Says like you should send a voice message, he's going, yeah,

585
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 2: I reckon. We could do like let's just say okay,

586
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 2: leave it. And then a couple of weeks if he

587
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 2: messages you and he's like, had a great time. Sorry,

588
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 2: been busy with work. That's what he'll say, Sorry, been

589
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 2: super busy with work. In the shower, yeah, and uh

590
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:14,640
Speaker 2: busy with work.

591
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 1: Would love to have like take you on a date again,

592
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 1: and he'll like to try and get you back. He'll

593
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: do all that stuff. He'll be like, sorry, I want

594
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 1: to take you on a date. He'll might try and

595
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,159
Speaker 1: make you feel special by calling it a date. He

596
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 1: won't be like, I just want to hang out again, Yeah,

597
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 1: I want to take you on a real date. And

598
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,719
Speaker 1: then he'll be like, I hope she likes that. But

599
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,919
Speaker 1: this guy's a fucking trash dude, right, So what do

600
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 1: we say if he says this.

601
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 2: We say, I like taking like the high roads and

602
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 2: not replying to letting letting the little red receipt pop up.

603
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 2: That's good. I like that. Slightly, petty slightly, it's like

604
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 2: petty and matual. Yeah, I love that, But also I

605
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 2: can see the fun of it and being like sending

606
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,120
Speaker 2: some little fucking message. It just gets on his nerve.

607
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,400
Speaker 2: Oh what about no the sex with shit? Yeah? Yeah,

608
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 2: no facts. That's like I'm trying to think, like.

609
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: Something about like, oh you were as tall as I

610
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 1: thought I was being nice that night something like that.

611
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,879
Speaker 2: Just like fuck him up. Say he's like he's damaged

612
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 2: your ego.

613
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like as soon as you get you go

614
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 1: back damage here is fuck him, I say, be petty.

615
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,360
Speaker 1: Being petty in this world is just like people are

616
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:13,160
Speaker 1: like take the high road.

617
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 2: I get that.

618
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 1: I'm all about taking the high road as well, but

619
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,159
Speaker 1: sometimes it's a room for pettiness. Room for pettiness in

620
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 1: this world. Okay, my turn, the title of mine, the

621
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:28,399
Speaker 1: Sunday fling that left me high and dry? Was I

622
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: too harsh or just tired of being used?

623
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:34,640
Speaker 2: Oh? Shit? I went out with a guy a few

624
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 2: times last summer. We would basically meet up at his apartment,

625
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,719
Speaker 2: mostly during the day on Sundays, have sex, and then

626
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 2: go home after a bit brackets. We might grab drinks

627
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 2: before or order in after close bracket. He made it

628
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 2: very obvious he wasn't looking for something serious, so I

629
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 2: felt fine with it. What I wasn't fine with his

630
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 2: complete lack of effort to make me come. I commented

631
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 2: on it many times, and he'd say he was just

632
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 2: too tired. I was insulted and ended up sending him

633
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 2: an Amazon link to a book teaching you how to

634
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 2: make a woman come brackets in sincerity, I thought maybe

635
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 2: he didn't know. He never responded and we haven't talked since.

636
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 2: But was I being unreasonable? He made me feel like

637
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 2: a glorified cum dumb stuff? But when I retell the story,

638
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 2: people make me feel like I was being too mean. Also,

639
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 2: I'm new to sex, so I don't know how this

640
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 2: kind of stuff works. Well wait, wait, what's the dilemma?

641
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 2: She's like? Was my response valid, like is in valid

642
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 2: in the book or was it to me? I think

643
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 2: this brings up a very relatable dilemma or relatable problem

644
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 2: for how men view sex and that they're in it

645
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 2: for themselves. Facts a lot of you guys are, Yeah,

646
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 2: like so many men are in their own head and

647
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 2: they're just like, yeah, I'm just gonna get off myself. Yeah.

648
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 2: When in reality did she say she's consistently having sex

649
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 2: with him? Yeah, so she hasn't spoken to him for

650
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 2: a while, but it was every Sunday afternoon they're doing that.

651
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 1: It was like most Sundays during the during the day,

652
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: and then it was just sex and they'd either they'd

653
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 1: like she'd just go home after, or he'd just like

654
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,479
Speaker 1: go home after, or maybe they'd get like order in.

655
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 2: But it was never like lovey dovey stuff. I reckon

656
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 2: what you did is completely fine, especially if you're having

657
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 2: sex consistently, and obviously both parties should be winning. Facts

658
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 2: like fair enough if your partner, the male, finishes early,

659
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 2: but there's plenty of ways to get it done. Otherwise, well, yeah,

660
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 2: at least even just trying or offer, like if he

661
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 2: puts in the effort but still can't do it at

662
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 2: least you know he's putting in the effort. Right now,

663
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 2: it's just all you, none of him. Yeah, he gets

664
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 2: to finish every time. I think the biggest takeaway is like,

665
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 2: for a man here, this is a good insight going

666
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 2: into sex. Because you've been doing it a bit, he

667
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 2: should be fine. But there's a bit of pressure in

668
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 2: our own heads to perform, and it doesn't always work.

669
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 2: Not saying that's an excuse, but for any men listening,

670
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 2: it's okay to finish early, but just offer, like, all right,

671
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 2: give me five minutes, or do you want me to

672
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 2: finish you off, or just say something like that, here's okay.

673
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, so now you're just saying, like,

674
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: guys feel this kind of pressure. So I still feel it,

675
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 1: like you still want to perform, right, But that's so

676
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 1: that's you and I and we have a very similar mindset.

677
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, I'm gonna say something cocky. I

678
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 2: always perform, I was.

679
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: What's your definition of perform? But what if like because

680
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 1: who knows? Like we could be anomalies in this charm

681
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 1: on this world.

682
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 2: See see we say, surely we're not. But also do

683
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 2: you reckon now?

684
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: Because you know how like even we make jokes, like

685
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 1: we make jokes about not having a huge penis because

686
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: it's a funny joke. To make right, we make jokes

687
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 1: about lasting thirty seconds a funny joke to make right,

688
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: we last more than thirty seconds, all.

689
00:31:55,840 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 2: Right, everybody, I swear thirty two? And so do you

690
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 2: reckon this? Whole? There's like this whole jokiness now has

691
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 2: made it so guys are kind of like, yeah, it's

692
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 2: fucking like guys don't last long anyway, Like I'm gonna

693
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 2: it's fine, Like girls know that.

694
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 1: The joke's been the truth. Yeah, because the joke is

695
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: the truth. Usually it's like guys, some guys do struggle.

696
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 2: Do you reckon? Now?

697
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 1: There's like this there's just just this wave of guys

698
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 1: that will just go into it knowing he's gonna come,

699
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: and knowing that he's not gonna make her come because

700
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: he's never made a girl come, and so he's gonna go.

701
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: He just goes into it like yeah, like I got

702
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 1: what I want and says to them, I'm just too tired.

703
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: Like he pretends like he could do it, but he's

704
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 1: just too tired, but he can't actually do it like

705
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 1: he's just yeah.

706
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 2: I think that comes down to naivety as a young

707
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 2: male and not having the communication skills to talk with

708
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 2: your partner about the sex, because I remember when I

709
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 2: was like seven, eighten, eighteen, probably even nineteen, and I

710
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 2: was having sex with girls like I more I probably

711
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 2: didn't make him finish, and no way I was having

712
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 2: a conversation about that. Fair Like, I just didn't have

713
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 2: the capability in my communication skills or the closeness in

714
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 2: the relationship I was having sex with said person, and

715
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 2: maybe in hindsight, looking back at that, I should have

716
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 2: built that relationship more so I felt comfortable enough to

717
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 2: talk about said things. And we both want well.

718
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: It's like our egos couldn't take it right because like

719
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 1: we know from stories with friends right where they're probably

720
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 1: even lying about making a girl finish, and so it's like,

721
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 1: when you know you haven't, I'm not going to ask

722
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: you because then that's a definite answer, which is.

723
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 2: A very immature.

724
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 1: You're right, very naive and stupid, and so I think

725
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 1: that you you sending him this Amazon link has called

726
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: out something that's a fact of that he actually doesn't

727
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 1: know how because he probably never has and so he's

728
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 1: like probably just thinking.

729
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 2: Like, oh I got I just got to go. It's like,

730
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 2: that's that damaged my ego.

731
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying you're a mean I don't think

732
00:33:58,320 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 1: you're a mean person for damaging damaging?

733
00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 2: Is he like you genuinely wanted to help? Yeah, I

734
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 2: think the approach could have been slightly better.

735
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, though, it's kind of like

736
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 1: you could maybe you could have sent a message like

737
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 1: this is nothing like I just I just want to

738
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 1: help you because I like having sex with you.

739
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeahah, yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. And

740
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,840
Speaker 2: the fact that she said she had some comments beforehand

741
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 2: and nothing was changing. I think it was validus said

742
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 2: said thing, and like it's a little bit harsh. I mean,

743
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,919
Speaker 2: look it's harsh, but also I'm proud of I don't

744
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 2: blame her. Yeah. Yeah, I admit it's harsh, but I

745
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 2: don't think it's mean. I think in the situation that

746
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 2: you were just two people having fun, I think it's

747
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:37,320
Speaker 2: completely fine. I think it would be mean. Shut up, Jacinottie,

748
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,800
Speaker 2: we are hijacking the next couple of seconds of this episode.

749
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 1: This is Jake and Otti from Patreon Patrion. Sign up

750
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 1: to Patreon because that is where most of the fun happens.

751
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,400
Speaker 2: That's where all the fun happens. We can't get canceled.

752
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,240
Speaker 2: The episodes are just so much fun and we're building

753
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 2: the baddie community. How much is it, Jake? It's five

754
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,399
Speaker 2: dollars a month. You know how much that is a week?

755
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 2: A dollar twenty five a week? How much is that

756
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 2: a day? Seventeenth cents a day. Go run your money

757
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 2: to Patreon because we love you and it lets us

758
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 2: be able to do this for a living. And the

759
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 2: episodes are really good. We hope it's good value. Anyway,

760
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 2: Thanks guys, enjoy the rest of the episode.

761
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: If you sent it to him and then he wanted

762
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 1: to learn, but you were like, oh no, no, no, this

763
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 1: is me telling you where done, but here you need

764
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:20,319
Speaker 1: to learn for future, that.

765
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 2: Would be mean. Yeah, if he couldn't make you come,

766
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 2: but the fact that he goes to you, he definitely

767
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:26,399
Speaker 2: even though you wanted to help. I think you still

768
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,879
Speaker 2: won though he ghosted you because you heard his ego. Yeah,

769
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 2: fact you won for sure? Yeah yeah, but yeah, I

770
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 2: think there was valid what you did. Yeah, No, I

771
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 2: don't think. I think people I don't know why your

772
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 2: friends are saying you mean fuck that. Yeah. Also he

773
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 2: wasn't making me finish, so good riddance. Yeah. Facts like

774
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 2: as you I'm not saying like you gave him a

775
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 2: good chance. It sounds like you did it multiple Sundays

776
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 2: or maybe even other days of the week and you

777
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 2: gave him a good hard chance. I love E's plans

778
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 2: like Sunday sex Day. I know, I know it's crazy.

779
00:35:56,480 --> 00:36:02,439
Speaker 2: I was talking to someone and they it was someone's friend.

780
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 1: I don't even know the person, but they had an

781
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend who would plan their sex schedule like on

782
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 1: a calendar, like maybe like kind of the weak prior

783
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 1: or like the morning off basically you know what I mean.

784
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,399
Speaker 2: So it's like ready, yeah, it's kind of like yeah.

785
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 2: He would be like, so, well, what happens with me?

786
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 2: Is it just happens Like I never go into something knowing.

787
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,360
Speaker 2: It's kind of like starts with some kids seeing and

788
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 2: you get into it and then it happens and you're

789
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 2: kind of like, oh that was great. Yeah. Yeah.

790
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,240
Speaker 1: But he would be like eight pm tonight grabbing sex

791
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,359
Speaker 1: and then on the door eight pm he'd come in

792
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 1: and like they'd have sex.

793
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 2: But to be fair, like there's some organization kings and

794
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 2: queens out there like that they love the schedule, and like,

795
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 2: I'm going to judge that. I think it's definitely I'm

796
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 2: judging that. I think it's because he'd come in from

797
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 2: playing fucking video games or something and just do like

798
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,240
Speaker 2: time for sex. I'm serious, fucking hang out with your girlfriend,

799
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 2: take her on a date. I was gonna say, I

800
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:03,280
Speaker 2: think it's definitely more romantic to do it your way. Yeah,

801
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 2: your way? Why is this is just what's your I

802
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 2: do that as well. Planet I might say, like the

803
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 2: of like I'm keen, I'm keen or something. Oh yeah,

804
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 2: at least and then she knows you at least she

805
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 2: knows you're gonna try that. I don't ever say like

806
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 2: eight pm, thirty pm. Yeah, no, we are going for it,

807
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,239
Speaker 2: and it better be fucking before or don't you dare

808
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 2: cook dinner at six? I think there's a time in

809
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,279
Speaker 2: the world for both. Not the time thing I reckon.

810
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,760
Speaker 2: The time to plan it is when you're married with kids.

811
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 2: We don't know if you're married, if you have I

812
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 2: feel like there's like an unspoken rule when you're married,

813
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,399
Speaker 2: like if the kids are gone, like we're on.

814
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: Surely it's an unspoken rule for the dad and the

815
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:39,839
Speaker 1: mum's kind of like finally some chill time and she's

816
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 1: gonna be like, don't fucking touch me.

817
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm dead serious right now, do not touch me?

818
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:50,440
Speaker 2: Like what's with the whole thing of like, Dad's okay. Actually,

819
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 2: here's another question.

820
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 1: Is sometimes like I don't always feel like having sex,

821
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 1: Like I actually like I don't have the sex drive

822
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: where it's like on the drop of a dime I

823
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,359
Speaker 1: could do it. Sometimes I'm actually like, let's say, Beth

824
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 1: randomly one time was like, I'm keen right now. If

825
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 1: I wasn't keen, I'm I'm fine to be like, oh no,

826
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,920
Speaker 1: I'm not keen right now, you know what I mean.

827
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 2: We happen. We figured out now I'm ready done. We

828
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:17,359
Speaker 2: figured out that. So I can't remember the exact terminology,

829
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 2: but men's hormones go through the cycle of like horniness.

830
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,839
Speaker 2: It's definitely more technical. It's every twenty four hours every

831
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 2: day hormone cycle. Yeah, we go through it every twenty

832
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 2: four hours, whereas the girl goes through it twenty eight days, Yes,

833
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:30,879
Speaker 2: twenty eight days. So we're always like, oh, I'm honey,

834
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 2: I'm honey, I'm honey, whereas a girl's like, ooh the

835
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,839
Speaker 2: population week, it's like yeah week, so every single day,

836
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 2: but oh now, funny story. I finish on this. This

837
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 2: is funny, this is what all right? So I've been

838
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 2: doing I'll get to the kicker. I've been doing cardio

839
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 2: at the beach and walking up and down my local

840
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 2: beach doing like four laps takes me about hour, hour

841
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,759
Speaker 2: and a half. You go listen to podcast, just make

842
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 2: masters to copa. You got all the way you do

843
00:38:57,719 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 2: four laps, all the way to the surf club. Yeah,

844
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 2: surf club is if there's people. I don't like seeing people,

845
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 2: so I cut sometimes people we know decent walk. I

846
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 2: was walking the other day and got a message, like

847
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 2: a funny message I know with my girlfriend when it's on,

848
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:10,840
Speaker 2: and she was sending me like oh, she said she

849
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 2: brought me a vacuum and she's like, you want to

850
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 2: pick it up? I was like, oh, I didn't uder

851
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 2: say anything. She's like right now, and I'm like I

852
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 2: was like I was thinking at first, my initial thought

853
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:20,880
Speaker 2: was like what the fuck do I need a vacuum

854
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 2: right now? I'll just pick it up next time I

855
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 2: see it. She's like, no right now. And then she

856
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 2: said like, oh, I want to have sex. Anyway, I'm

857
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 2: halfway along the beach try I'm like, god, I've got

858
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 2: a bit keen, and I might as well run the

859
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 2: rest of it because to get me back was going

860
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 2: to take me a while to walk. So I was like,

861
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,239
Speaker 2: I'm as well run. So where we live in the

862
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 2: middle of our beach, like no one swims at. So

863
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 2: I get to the middle of about two hundred meters

864
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 2: from where I parked my car, So I'm starting to

865
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 2: run from there. And I start running, and out of

866
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,360
Speaker 2: nowhere there's this girl on the beach like waving her hands.

867
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 2: I'm like, what's going on here? And I'm running because

868
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:57,360
Speaker 2: I want to have sex. And then and then she

869
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 2: goes this guy is stuck in a rip, and I'm like, oh, now,

870
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 2: I'm like it looked like I was being a hero

871
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 2: and running like two hundred meters to go see this

872
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 2: guy stuck in a ring, like I had a dead eyesight.

873
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 2: And then anyway, this little kid, a little legend, was

874
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,960
Speaker 2: like walking with his backpack. He might have been like sixteen,

875
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 2: I don't know how old he was. Obviously like a

876
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 2: little like surf life right saver or something, dropped his bag,

877
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,399
Speaker 2: took his shirt off and ran in there and save

878
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 2: this like English pommy tourist, and I just like I

879
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 2: made sure they came back and were on dry land

880
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 2: before I left. I didn't want to talk to him

881
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 2: and get out placed with to be Yeah, yeah, no,

882
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 2: I made sure that. But I was like, fuck right now,

883
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 2: And I was just waiting for this little kid to

884
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 2: save this guy. And he was doing a fine job.

885
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 2: It was a little bit fatigued, and I watched him

886
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 2: come in. I was like, what's the timing on that.

887
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 2: I was like, God's up there, saying like I was

888
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:46,320
Speaker 2: here to save this guy. Maybe God is real? Yeah,

889
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 2: sometimes maybe, because I wouldn't have been running otherwise I

890
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 2: would have been in my own world if I didn't

891
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 2: get a text and just been like listening to podcast,

892
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 2: zoned out, and it just looked like I was running

893
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 2: to save this guy. I was like, what are the

894
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 2: chances of that happening? And so this girl thought you

895
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 2: were running to save this guy? Yeah, and then what

896
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 2: about the chance of this kid though yeah he was

897
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 2: also that was lucky and he was probably there or

898
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,800
Speaker 2: maybe forty five seconds mine for me, which is important

899
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,600
Speaker 2: when someone spoke in a rip and it was just

900
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 2: some English pommy, like the whole beach is pretty much flat.

901
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,800
Speaker 2: This is one rip and he just likes to swim straight.

902
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, I was just like, what are

903
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 2: you doing?

904
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: And yes, when it's when it's a flat day, Yeah,

905
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: that's the hardest time to see it. If there's waves,

906
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,399
Speaker 1: you can tell because the waves aren't breaking in a rip.

907
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. So that's just like the best bit of advice

908
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 2: you can give. But damn, that's funny. I know that

909
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 2: was funny. How you go? How'd you? God? You get vacuum? Yeah,

910
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 2: picked up the vacuum. Picked it up? Man? How long

911
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 2: did you stay? Just in and out? Friends come over?

912
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:53,400
Speaker 2: All right, hey, Jake, we've been way too agreeable this episode.

913
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 2: I agree, shut up. We're on the same wavelength and

914
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 2: I want things to change. I want to argue with you,

915
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,879
Speaker 2: and I want to do a bit of this you

916
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,719
Speaker 2: you so yeah, I want to be old a point

917
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 2: and I want to say you yeah, but you there's

918
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 2: something nice about arguing, and we don't do it enough.

919
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 2: So today let's argue. Can you be friends with your ex? Okay,

920
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 2: yes or no? What do you want? What is it? Everyone? Comment?

921
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 2: What do you think? Yes or no? About friends with

922
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 2: your ex? Before we start arguing? Okay, what do you want?

923
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 2: What do you want? I want? No, you can't call

924
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 2: it in the air tales never fails under the chair tales.

925
00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:33,959
Speaker 2: Let's go tal No, you cannot be friends with your eggs. Okay,

926
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 2: I'll start it.

927
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:40,840
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, it's the situation I'm about to arise.

928
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 2: Is God forbid this happens? Okay, but this is good

929
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,720
Speaker 2: for the argument. Okay, Odi, Yes, got some bad news?

930
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 2: What me and Beth are breaking up? No? Yeah, but

931
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 2: we're gonna stay friends. Smart approach. I'm glad you didn't

932
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 2: say your X wanted to be friends with you and

933
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 2: breaking up. But we're gonna stay friend, stay friends. Yeah. Yeah.

934
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,640
Speaker 2: Do you think that's a good idea? Well, I mean

935
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 2: we yeah, I do. Why do you break up screw apart?

936
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 2: You grew on different things? Her terms or your terms mutual? Interesting?

937
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:23,640
Speaker 2: I think that's a terrible idea. Why because you had

938
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 2: feelings you love this woman at one point? Yeah, And

939
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:30,319
Speaker 2: I think staying friends you're just holding on to a

940
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:32,919
Speaker 2: little grasp that in the back of your head, you're thinking,

941
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 2: if we stay friends, maybe it might happen again, and

942
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 2: that's not healthy. I think you need to have complete

943
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 2: distance from her to move on completely, especially if in

944
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 2: the future, I know you're not ready for it right

945
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 2: now you want to get with someone else. I don't

946
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 2: think you should be friends with your ex.

947
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, but at the same time, I can't really be

948
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 1: just planning for the future and assuming that I'm going

949
00:43:58,239 --> 00:43:59,840
Speaker 1: to be with someone in the future, and then I

950
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 1: can't be friends with my ex before that reason, because

951
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 1: she's a massive part of my life. She's been a

952
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 1: huge part of my life for the last year and

953
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: a bit, you know, and I don't.

954
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 2: I don't want to throw all that away. We've got

955
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:15,239
Speaker 2: the greatest connection. She's my you. She's my second best

956
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 2: friend still, she's she's been my way down here, my

957
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 2: second best friend. It was an amicable breakup. Everything was

958
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 2: on good terms. We want to stay.

959
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 1: I love her family, she loves my family, and my

960
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: family loves her. Her family loves me, and I think

961
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 1: we can make it work because we are mature.

962
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 2: Make what work the friendship, or because you're still in

963
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 2: love with her, of course I'm still in love with her.

964
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 2: I have all the love in the world for this.

965
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 2: I not love her in a romantic way anymore, but

966
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 2: I love her as a person. She's She's one of

967
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 2: the greatest people I know, and I think you owe

968
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 2: it to yourself. All those things you just mentioned are

969
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 2: really good, and it's so hard to detach yourself from

970
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 2: the relationship you build. But because it was romantic before,

971
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 2: I don't think you can just put this little barrier

972
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 2: in there saying now we're best friends and that's not there.

973
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 2: If you kiss someone and you've made love to someone,

974
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 2: you can't then be friends with them like at all.

975
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 2: I think maybe the only way of work if you

976
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,760
Speaker 2: need to work on yourself now and find your independence again,

977
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 2: and then in the future obviously because you've left on

978
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:23,919
Speaker 2: amicabol terms in five or ten years, when you've moved

979
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 2: on completely, you guys go and get a coffee and

980
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 2: laugh about it. I think that's the only way it

981
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 2: ever works, like five to ten years type time. But

982
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 2: I don't want to want to be free. I think

983
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,760
Speaker 2: it puts a little band aid over your heartbreak right now,

984
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 2: which might be nice, but for the long run and

985
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 2: getting over it and you probably need to stitch right

986
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 2: now and you're just putting a band aid over it,

987
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:56,840
Speaker 2: and you need to completely just touch yourself from the situation.

988
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 2: Really have nothing because I've never tried to be friends

989
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 2: with the next I thought you were gonna mention that

990
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 2: you want to see the dog. See, I didn't want

991
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 2: to bring him into it. That was make it out

992
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 2: of jail free custody. That was making out of jail

993
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 2: free card. But I valid your points of value. I

994
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 2: do see certain points, but I think for like the

995
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 2: best growth, you can't do it. Yeah, I mean fair enough,

996
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:26,879
Speaker 2: Like I I do agree with you.

997
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 1: I think you need to be a part because I

998
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 1: mean just once the once there's sexual stuff like you're

999
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: not friends and you're never ever gonna be.

1000
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 2: What does friends like look like? Does it mean like

1001
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 2: texting all the time and sharing reels and going to

1002
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,359
Speaker 2: get coffee and going to the swims at the beach

1003
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 2: every couple of days, or is it like just messaging

1004
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 2: every month saying you're good. I feel like that's nice

1005
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,080
Speaker 2: if you left on amicable terms, even though I do

1006
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 2: believe in non contact. But if you message once a

1007
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 2: month or something said just making sure you are good

1008
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 2: and just yeah, I'm good you yep, and that's it.

1009
00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 2: I feel like that's fine and mature if you did

1010
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 2: leave on amicable terms. But it's hard. I prefer the nah.

1011
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 1: I would say, I'm fully on the note. I'm about

1012
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: the no contact side of it.

1013
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I'm trying to think here, what's the best

1014
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 2: way to talk about this, because I've had situations where

1015
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 2: you like, break up, do no contact contact again, and

1016
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,799
Speaker 2: he's end up sleeping together again. Yeah, that's not friends together,

1017
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 2: or one of you thinks about sleeping with the other.

1018
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:30,320
Speaker 1: One of them wants that and they're just pretending to

1019
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:31,879
Speaker 1: be your friend because that's what they want. They hope

1020
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 1: that you end up wanting that, even THO if you

1021
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 1: don't want that, Yeah, it.

1022
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 2: Just turns in.

1023
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:39,720
Speaker 1: It just turns so so ugly. And I think again,

1024
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 1: like if there's people out there that make it work,

1025
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 1: like by all means, like that's the thing, prove us wrong.

1026
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 1: But I just like I for some reason can't see

1027
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,839
Speaker 1: myself making that work. And I think that's just the

1028
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 1: only reason of just because you work together for so long.

1029
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 2: I think anyone listening who's been through this situation, you

1030
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,319
Speaker 2: know yourself and you know your partner, if you can

1031
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:03,440
Speaker 2: make it work, nine times out of ten one of you,

1032
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 2: that situation won't work.

1033
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, even with married couples that have kids and do

1034
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 1: shared custody, it's like a lot of sometimes it's amicable

1035
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 1: and they understand they're not good for each other. But

1036
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: a lot of the times it was one of them

1037
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,280
Speaker 1: getting divorced with the other and so the other one

1038
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 1: like probably doesn't want contact, but they love their fucking kids,

1039
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, and so they're like they need contact, and

1040
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 1: it probably takes them a lot longer to get over

1041
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 1: it than.

1042
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 2: The other person. Like it wouldn't. It just wouldn't. It's

1043
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 2: just not nice at all.

1044
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 1: So like when obviously contact is so obvious when you

1045
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:35,760
Speaker 1: have kids, Yeah, and you have custody sharing and stuff

1046
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,959
Speaker 1: like that, but it would still just be so hard

1047
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 1: for either both parties maybe need the parties, but also

1048
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 1: it could also it could be really hard for one party.

1049
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 2: Like, Yeah, I think it's all about choosing yourself in

1050
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 2: this situation. Because all your arguments saying the families love

1051
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 2: each other, we had the best relationship. Ever, that's choosing

1052
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,359
Speaker 2: you two still together. I know, it's like just be together. Then, Yeah,

1053
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,800
Speaker 2: it's choosing the relationship rather than yourself when in reality,

1054
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 2: I think you need to pick yourself. Is a lot

1055
00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 2: harder and a harder decision to make. Yeah, it is hard.

1056
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 1: Breakups are hard because you've got a suck, You've got

1057
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:07,879
Speaker 1: the freakin' obviously the relationship that's now ended, but also

1058
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: like the relationships with the siblings, the relationships with the parents,

1059
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 1: and just like all of that, and you're kind of

1060
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 1: just like, fuck, it's like you miss a lot more people.

1061
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 2: Than you just it's not just one person that you're missing.

1062
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 2: You're missing like a bunch of people.

1063
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so tricky, and it's all the relationships you've built.

1064
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: And also, you know what, one more thing that you

1065
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:28,320
Speaker 1: miss is you miss the imaginary life that you built

1066
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 1: or the life that you had planned that now no

1067
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: longer is going to happen.

1068
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 2: And you miss that.

1069
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,799
Speaker 1: You're like, wait, now, what's my life going to look

1070
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:39,000
Speaker 1: like in ten years? I'm so happy, Like right now

1071
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about the life I've planned with my girlfriend. Yeah,

1072
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:43,719
Speaker 1: but a lot of people listening right now might be

1073
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: thinking about like the life that used to plan with

1074
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 1: their actually they're still single.

1075
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like it's so hard. It is hard. It

1076
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 2: is very hard. Like I currently I don't have a

1077
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 2: plan as a single guy because I have a plan

1078
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 2: with Beth. Yeah.

1079
00:49:57,480 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, And if I was to have a plan with

1080
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 1: a single guy, that would kind of mean like I'm

1081
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:01,879
Speaker 1: not fully into the relationship, you know what I mean.

1082
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 1: And so it's like if we were to break up,

1083
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: God forpid, yeah, I would be like, oh, now I

1084
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 1: don't have a plan.

1085
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to fully restart. Yeah, all of that

1086
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:19,720
Speaker 2: imaginary building. Yeah, those imaginary thoughts play such a vital

1087
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 2: role in your mental health. Yeah, and like your goals

1088
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 2: and your motivation, true, yeah, they add to motivation, like

1089
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 2: you do all this for someone else like that. I

1090
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 2: know it's not always the best, but extrinsic motivation is

1091
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 2: also so good when you're doing things for other people.

1092
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 2: It's interesting, it's very interesting. I have before.

1093
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was during I didn't think

1094
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 1: it was during the dilemmas, but we were talking about

1095
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:48,719
Speaker 1: being anxious or nervous to bring up the hard conversations

1096
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 1: with people. Now I get that with my relationship, but

1097
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 1: I also get it with other relationships and family included, right,

1098
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 1: because you still don't you still thinking to yourself what

1099
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:05,240
Speaker 1: they're doing is not on purpose, it's not with malice,

1100
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 1: but still it's like something you want to bring up

1101
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 1: and but you feel guilty bringing it up, right, And

1102
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 1: so again I think one thing I would like to

1103
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:18,719
Speaker 1: preface is that I just have like a it's not

1104
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 1: a family problem. It's just something that I'm like, it's

1105
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,879
Speaker 1: kind of like a dilemma, right, So I'm lucky to.

1106
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:33,359
Speaker 2: Have it, but still it's a dilemma. March twentieth, right, so.

1107
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 1: You're going to BALI Yes, worked out really well because

1108
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 1: I'm going to Queensland again for my younger sister's eighteenth

1109
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:45,800
Speaker 1: birthday right right now, Joanna, myself both going, Beth coming.

1110
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 2: We're all invited, right.

1111
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 1: But also I've got his grandparents invited, aunts and uncles invited,

1112
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:59,759
Speaker 1: cousins invited, right, So it's just a funny family.

1113
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:03,160
Speaker 2: It wasn't like me.

1114
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:04,719
Speaker 1: And Johanna have been talking about it, right, And so

1115
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:07,320
Speaker 1: I remember I called my dad and I was like, oh,

1116
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:09,800
Speaker 1: like who's coming. I'm just like looking at booking flights

1117
00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 1: and stuff, and so Dad said all the people coming,

1118
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:14,960
Speaker 1: and I was like, Oh, where's everyone going to stay?

1119
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:18,799
Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, yeah, no, like everyone's gonna

1120
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: have space, Like we'll work it out, will work it out,

1121
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 1: like everyone I have space at his place, Like we'll

1122
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:24,479
Speaker 1: have space for everyone. It'll be fine, and it'll be fine.

1123
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 2: I know where he's gone. But it wasn't like I

1124
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:29,799
Speaker 2: don't know.

1125
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:37,840
Speaker 1: It's weird, Like it wasn't implied that we would have space,

1126
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,840
Speaker 1: like do you okay? Basically me and Joanna are children

1127
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 1: of the people that are in the house. Is it

1128
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 1: entitled to be like, oh, we obviously get our own room,

1129
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: Like is that entitled?

1130
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 2: I think you should be first preference to get your

1131
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 2: own room.

1132
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like should we be above grandparents and aunt and

1133
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:54,400
Speaker 1: uncle and a sibling?

1134
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 2: I think maybe not grandparents because they are but aren't

1135
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 2: an uncle one hundred percent. So yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

1136
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 1: We're on the same page with that then, because it's

1137
00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 1: just like weird. I just have been finding it weird

1138
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 1: and been finding it hard to bring up when my

1139
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 1: parents like, oh, like I don't even know where we're staying, like,

1140
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:13,040
Speaker 1: and there was a moment where I was going.

1141
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,000
Speaker 2: To offer to like go pay for an airbnb and run.

1142
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 1: I was like, no, we're not doing that it was like,

1143
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:19,360
Speaker 1: they're our parents, We're not doing that, And I was like,

1144
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 1: fair enough, and so I just found it like weird

1145
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 1: that it wasn't implied that we had a room.

1146
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 2: I think it's more weird the fact that you're bringing

1147
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 2: your partner who was an outsider in the family and

1148
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 2: she might not have her own safe place.

1149
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 1: That's what I said, Yeah, I said to Johanna. I

1150
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:36,239
Speaker 1: was like, isn't it kind of embarrassing that I don't

1151
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 1: even know if me and bethiic going to have her

1152
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:39,960
Speaker 1: own room where she isn't like a proper outside of

1153
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 1: the field.

1154
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 2: She should have her own little space because it is

1155
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 2: a bit overwhelming being the whole family of someone else.

1156
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:45,360
Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's like a lack of

1157
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 1: communication or not, but it's still like, oh, we'll work

1158
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:49,399
Speaker 1: it out, will work it out.

1159
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 2: What don't you just say to your dad, like, hey,

1160
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 2: like me and Beth went our own room, do you

1161
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 2: have one or not? Or else? Can you buy as

1162
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 2: an airbnb like nearby? See? I don't know, yeah, I see,

1163
00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:59,279
Speaker 2: like I fully could. It's only been like three days

1164
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:00,880
Speaker 2: or something that yeah, it's only going to be for

1165
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:01,359
Speaker 2: a few nights.

1166
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 1: But I just for some reason to find it so

1167
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 1: weird that that even needs to come up, Like I

1168
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 1: feel like it should just be yeah, it should just

1169
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, all these people are coming, all the

1170
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:12,760
Speaker 1: other people that are being invited other than our kids,

1171
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,479
Speaker 1: they need to know what rooms are available. These rooms

1172
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:17,840
Speaker 1: are for these people. There's one room available maybe, so

1173
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,560
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, first in, first, best dressed, fair enough.

1174
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:21,880
Speaker 2: That means someone else is going to have to get

1175
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 2: an airbnb, you know what I mean? Like, why would

1176
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 2: I need to reckon? They're playing on your easy nature

1177
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:28,960
Speaker 2: or they haven't even thought about it.

1178
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 1: I don't know, because last time when we went up,

1179
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 1: when they moved up there, it was the same kind

1180
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:34,759
Speaker 1: of situation, and I straight away was like, oh, I'll

1181
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 1: just go stroll with my auntie.

1182
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:36,640
Speaker 2: That's twenty minutes away.

1183
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:40,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I did that just because like there was

1184
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:41,439
Speaker 1: going to be a lot of people in the house

1185
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:43,239
Speaker 1: and they were moving, so I was happy to be

1186
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 1: like this, I just want to make it as easy

1187
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 1: as possible.

1188
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:49,640
Speaker 2: For them, right, And then Joanna said that my dad

1189
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:52,320
Speaker 2: felt bad, and I was like, how bad did he feel?

1190
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:57,040
Speaker 2: Because he didn't say anything like how did he feel?

1191
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 2: Because he didn't say anything. Yeah, and they do. And like,

1192
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:04,320
Speaker 2: I know my parents get annoyed with the other family,

1193
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 2: but like it's just I don't know, is it. It's

1194
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 2: like weird that they're happy for me to use like

1195
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:12,640
Speaker 2: let my easy nature take over, go out of my

1196
00:55:12,680 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 2: way to stay somewhere else, even though I did something

1197
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:18,320
Speaker 2: for them, I brought Hailey's car up for them, Yeah,

1198
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,840
Speaker 2: but they were happy for me to let my easy

1199
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:22,920
Speaker 2: nature get be like, yeah, I'll stay somewhere else to

1200
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,040
Speaker 2: make it easy for you guys, just because they didn't

1201
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 2: want to have the conversation with the other people that

1202
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 2: were like not wanting to make it easy for them.

1203
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:32,080
Speaker 2: I even think they're playing on the fact that Jake

1204
00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 2: will figure it out when he gets here, because I

1205
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 2: know I'm an adult. Yeah I understand that, but I'm

1206
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:39,799
Speaker 2: still your kid. But also now your decision is going

1207
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 2: to hurt your those feelings if you go yeah, I

1208
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,799
Speaker 2: know you see. I feel like that I would take

1209
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:45,879
Speaker 2: the high road and just be like, all right, dad,

1210
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:49,080
Speaker 2: I'm sick of this like non communication. I want some

1211
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:52,200
Speaker 2: way to stay with Beth. Yeah, my girlfriend, do you

1212
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 2: have room for me? And if he says, oh, well,

1213
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:55,800
Speaker 2: I don't know. We'll figure it out when together. He's like,

1214
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 2: all right, well I'm going to stay on the Gold

1215
00:55:57,719 --> 00:56:00,359
Speaker 2: Coast near the beach for three days. Yeah, just say that. Yeah,

1216
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 2: and I'll come to the birthday party. And I'll come

1217
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:04,279
Speaker 2: to the birthday party like I'm coming here like having

1218
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 2: a little break from working, like I wanted to be relaxing.

1219
00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 2: I want to plan my trip, what we're going to do,

1220
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,520
Speaker 2: like I need to know, man, I know, it's funny.

1221
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:12,360
Speaker 2: It's just like a weird little family dilemma.

1222
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:13,560
Speaker 1: And it's like I don't want to bring it up

1223
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 1: because I know that they're like not purposely making.

1224
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 2: And it all comes back to that like nervousness, anxiety

1225
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:23,320
Speaker 2: on your side, on your sister's side, on your dad's side.

1226
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 2: He probably doesn't want to have the conversation either, and

1227
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:26,880
Speaker 2: he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Doesn't want hurt

1228
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:27,759
Speaker 2: your feelings. Fu.

1229
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, he probably doesn't want to talk to like his wife,

1230
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:31,440
Speaker 1: like my stepmom about it, because it's like then then

1231
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 1: it's putting her in a situation where she probably needs

1232
00:56:33,239 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 1: to go talk to her family because she's going to

1233
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 1: become we have.

1234
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,400
Speaker 2: Reason and be like no, that's right. So it's like

1235
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,120
Speaker 2: it's like this whole line of and then I'm kind

1236
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 2: of like, well if I if I complain it's a

1237
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 2: line of iffy communication. Yeah, it's weird. Think it is

1238
00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 2: very weird. It's weird.

1239
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I was just thinking, like I wanted to

1240
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:53,080
Speaker 1: see what you thought, Like, should it not be implied

1241
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 1: that Juanna gets one of those rooms best and I

1242
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:57,040
Speaker 1: get one of those rooms?

1243
00:56:57,800 --> 00:56:59,960
Speaker 2: The other two kids that live in their house get there,

1244
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:01,359
Speaker 2: obviously they live there.

1245
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, so the other family that's being invited that are

1246
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 1: all old, you should get first.

1247
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:06,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like that are all older. If they need to

1248
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:08,840
Speaker 2: get a combination, they can get a combination. Like it's like,

1249
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know why I feel so

1250
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:10,719
Speaker 2: weird about it.

1251
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 1: What if Johanna is at an age I'm even at

1252
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 1: an age right where What if Beth and I had

1253
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 1: a fucking kid, you know what I mean?

1254
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 2: Like, I'm twenty five.

1255
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,800
Speaker 1: It's not unheard of having kid at twenty five. What

1256
00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 1: if Johanna was married with a kid, she's twenty seven.

1257
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:22,880
Speaker 2: I'll tell you what it is. My parents do it,

1258
00:57:22,920 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 2: and I reckon this is relaidable. So many parents do

1259
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 2: it when they host, even though you're related to them,

1260
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 2: like parents, getting this weird little hosting mindset of like

1261
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:34,560
Speaker 2: pleasing everyone has to be pleased, and instead of like

1262
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 2: pleasing everyone, they're sort of like not pleasing everyone, but

1263
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 2: trying to please everyone. Yeah, and they're just getting confused instead,

1264
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 2: and they're stuck. Instead of unpleasing your auntie and uncle,

1265
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 2: they're like, oh yeah, we'll sort it out, and instead

1266
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 2: of unpleasing you, like, oh yeah, we'll sort it out

1267
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:49,160
Speaker 2: with the host. It's weird. Yeah, they're just like, no,

1268
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 2: we'll sort it everyone. Don't worry about it, sort it out.

1269
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:52,840
Speaker 2: And then it's like you feel bad.

1270
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 1: Because you're putting them in this position of like we

1271
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:56,080
Speaker 1: need to make everyone happy, blah blah blah.

1272
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 2: So it's like I will obviously.

1273
00:57:58,040 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 1: Take the high road and I if I need to

1274
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 1: go stay, I will, Yeah exactly.

1275
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I'm like, hmm, you should

1276
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 2: fucking give me that froom. Yeah, Like why am I

1277
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 2: like I'm your kid? Yeah, I think purely because you

1278
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 2: have a girlfriend. I think we had one hundred percent

1279
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 2: of be implied. Yeah, it's just I just thought it

1280
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 2: was so interesting and like like a bit of a

1281
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 2: champagne problem, Like it's not.

1282
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 1: It's like, of all problems to have, it's probably a

1283
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 1: great problem to have. But I just was like, can

1284
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:22,439
Speaker 1: you see what you thought?

1285
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 2: Keen to see? Like maybe what all the baddies think?

1286
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 2: Like any Yeah, yeah, I know, it's definitely a champagne problem,

1287
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:30,160
Speaker 2: but it's still a problem, man. Yeah, are you Another

1288
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 2: funny thing, when my parents.

1289
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 1: Lived here, they would go out for dinner with like

1290
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 1: my parents, my two younger siblings, and they with my

1291
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 1: stepmom's side of the family.

1292
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:39,800
Speaker 2: They'd always go get dinner.

1293
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 1: On a Sunday and I was always invited, but I

1294
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:45,080
Speaker 1: was quite often in Sydney and so I didn't go.

1295
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:48,280
Speaker 1: And so my parents moved up to Queensland and my

1296
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 1: grandparents they invite Joanna every every Sunday.

1297
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 2: And they don't. So we don't know, like it's probably

1298
00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:59,040
Speaker 2: maybe just like they send it to Joanna implying that

1299
00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 2: I'm invited. They just say like, hey, Janna, would you

1300
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 2: like to come? I was like, fuck, I was going

1301
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 2: to ask it might be too personally, you don't have

1302
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 2: to ask it, and I'll cut it out if it is.

1303
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 2: But because your family is stepmum now yeah, and half dad,

1304
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:18,840
Speaker 2: half stepmum, whatever, do you ever feel like slightly less

1305
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 2: not like slightly less important, not important to speak, but

1306
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:28,920
Speaker 2: like less a priority or less invited like that situation,

1307
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,440
Speaker 2: Because that's a great question. You're half the situation, not

1308
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 2: one hundred. That is a great question because I've never

1309
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:37,320
Speaker 2: felt that because obviously are still together, and I feel

1310
00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:40,040
Speaker 2: like that's a hard thing to if you do feel that,

1311
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 2: or anyone feels that, because there's a new family on

1312
00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:44,959
Speaker 2: both sides of your family, that is actually a good question.

1313
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 2: So on so here I would say yes. And the

1314
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 2: reason being right.

1315
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 1: Is like, so my dad is like me, it's kind

1316
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:01,200
Speaker 1: of like you and I right, just like go with

1317
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:06,479
Speaker 1: the flow and super easy going. And so because I'm

1318
01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:10,120
Speaker 1: like that and he knows I'm like that, it's like

1319
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 1: he it doesn't feel any need to stick up or

1320
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 1: like properly formally do things because he knows what my

1321
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 1: nature is like and that's your sorte of film and

1322
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:25,520
Speaker 1: that's and that's yeah. And then like my dad is

1323
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:26,640
Speaker 1: the one that's my bothers with dad, and then I

1324
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 1: have a step momah, and so if there is everything

1325
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 1: that needs a formal invite, she sends me the invite.

1326
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:34,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I know what you mean. It is weird.

1327
01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 2: It actually is different growing up with step parents.

1328
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 1: Like like it's also like my step mom loves me

1329
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 1: and my stepdad loves me, and I love him.

1330
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:47,040
Speaker 2: But I'm not an idiot.

1331
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:51,080
Speaker 1: Like my two half siblings. They obviously love them more

1332
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 1: because that's their fucking real kid. I'm their step kid.

1333
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 2: I understand they raised me from young Like, I'm not

1334
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:59,320
Speaker 2: an idiot in knowing that, like those two are obviously

1335
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:02,000
Speaker 2: more important, you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1336
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:02,600
Speaker 2: it's an interest.

1337
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 1: It is actually an interesting thing to feel, but you

1338
01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 1: just accept it because like if I was them and

1339
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 1: I was a kid's stepparent and then with just this

1340
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 1: kid's mum I had, I had a kid.

1341
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 2: Like you definitely still love I'm kind of love the

1342
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:16,160
Speaker 2: kid that I made more like it's just it's an

1343
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 2: instinctual thing. Yeah yeah, yeah, that's a good question though,

1344
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 2: And I think it's definitely hard because you were lucky

1345
01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:26,200
Speaker 2: and they were still pretty young. But like now you're

1346
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 2: independent when you can realize those feelings. If you were

1347
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:33,000
Speaker 2: like fucking fourteen and fifteen and you're realizing, like, oh,

1348
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:35,200
Speaker 2: they like them better than me, like yeah, like fuck,

1349
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 2: that's hard. Yeah, no, when you're young, you do realize that.

1350
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 1: But some kids would probably like give a shit. But

1351
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 1: I think from a young age I just had the

1352
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 1: attitude of like, obviously she liked loves her kids more

1353
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 1: than me. Obviously my stepdad loves kids, kids more than me.

1354
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 1: They still did a bunch for me.

1355
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 2: I know that's a harsh reality of it, but I

1356
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 2: also think that's given you a lot of independence from

1357
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:58,320
Speaker 2: a young age and made you such a strong independent person.

1358
01:01:58,400 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, like things like from year seven, I was making

1359
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 1: my own lunch, to do my own laundry, right, which

1360
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:06,840
Speaker 1: I think is like the best thing they ever did

1361
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:09,160
Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, I know how to make food, I

1362
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 1: know how to do my laundry. Yeah, my younger brother

1363
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 1: and sister that at my half siblings, they didn't do

1364
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:17,120
Speaker 1: that for them. Like my step mom she did their

1365
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 1: laundry for them, like she just didn't want to do

1366
01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:21,040
Speaker 1: mine for me, and maybe she wanted to teach me

1367
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:23,880
Speaker 1: to do it blah blah blah. Right, but like with them,

1368
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:25,640
Speaker 1: it's now I look at it as kind of a

1369
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:27,120
Speaker 1: thing of like, oh, well, now they don't actually know

1370
01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:30,080
Speaker 1: how to do that, so it's like it's weird, like

1371
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:33,520
Speaker 1: you babied them more because obviously you fucking love them more. Yeah,

1372
01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:37,120
Speaker 1: but with that has made it so they're less ready

1373
01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:38,919
Speaker 1: for like the real world.

1374
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,320
Speaker 2: Like they made me get a.

1375
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:44,520
Speaker 1: Job, right, grateful as fuck for that. Those two they

1376
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 1: like me and brother says they didn't need to They

1377
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 1: don't have a job.

1378
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 2: They didn't need to get a job.

1379
01:02:48,560 --> 01:02:52,040
Speaker 1: Like, it's just funny. And it's like unintentionally or intentionally,

1380
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:55,920
Speaker 1: they just set me up slightly better and it's like differently.

1381
01:02:56,120 --> 01:02:58,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is very it's funny. It's very funny. It's

1382
01:02:58,440 --> 01:02:59,000
Speaker 2: very interesting.

1383
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:00,680
Speaker 1: He didn't ever talk about you being the youngest and

1384
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:03,000
Speaker 1: being like the favorite, and shit, I don't think I

1385
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:04,120
Speaker 1: don't know about the favorite.

1386
01:03:04,320 --> 01:03:06,720
Speaker 2: Nah, I don't know. I think me and Eden completely

1387
01:03:06,720 --> 01:03:11,640
Speaker 2: different people. My brother, like we're so different like characteristics wise,

1388
01:03:12,120 --> 01:03:14,720
Speaker 2: like there was no comparison really, yeah right, we like

1389
01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:16,440
Speaker 2: different things. And I don't think that I never felt that.

1390
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:20,360
Speaker 2: I always just remember being less independent Eden because he

1391
01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:22,600
Speaker 2: was the firstborn. Yeah, like he always just like knew

1392
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:23,800
Speaker 2: what to do when I was always just like this

1393
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 2: little bitch. And I feel like that's just like, yeah,

1394
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:30,200
Speaker 2: it's just like the classic like old older brother, like dynamic. Yeah,

1395
01:03:30,280 --> 01:03:30,880
Speaker 2: very classic.

1396
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:39,480
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening. You guys

1397
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:40,920
Speaker 1: know what we do the end the episodes. We're gonna

1398
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 1: call a lovely listener one of the baddies.

1399
01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 2: This is a nail.

1400
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:47,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's call Jake or Jacob. I don't know, fingers crossed.

1401
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:52,040
Speaker 1: It's not our good friend Harry pranking. We hope you're real.

1402
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:56,360
Speaker 1: Ill Jacob.

1403
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:58,280
Speaker 2: This is Jake and Noty from the Relatables. How's it going?

1404
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:03,840
Speaker 2: Oh my god, let's go. We were like we thought

1405
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:05,200
Speaker 2: you were going to be one of our friends, sending

1406
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:10,120
Speaker 2: in like a prank one. I'm so happy you're real shots.

1407
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:13,959
Speaker 2: How good? How's it going? How are you very well?

1408
01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:16,600
Speaker 2: How are you doing good? We wanted you to sign

1409
01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:20,040
Speaker 2: off the episode. What have you got for us? Like

1410
01:04:20,920 --> 01:04:23,080
Speaker 2: answer scrape on YouTube? Give us a five star rating

1411
01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:27,640
Speaker 2: on Spotify. Please and thank you and yeah, enjoying the

1412
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:30,760
Speaker 2: rest of your days. Let's go. Thank you, Jacob, have

1413
01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:33,040
Speaker 2: a good day. Thanks mate, Thank you so much much.

1414
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 2: Stay bad