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Speaker 1: I get are you bloody Champions, It's Jumbo, It's Craig

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Speaker 1: Anthey Harper, It's the You Project. It's Rena Ingles, it's me,

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Speaker 1: it's you, It's us, wherever you are, whatever you do

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Speaker 1: and happy, bloody, terrific. Renee Ingles, Welcome to the You Project.

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Speaker 2: Oh it is so good to be here. Craig, super excited.

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Speaker 2: I want to be here.

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Speaker 1: I'm very excited to have you. I'm like, it's funny

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Speaker 1: when I interview or chat with interviews the wrong word.

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Speaker 1: But when I chat with my friends that I've known

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Speaker 1: for a very long time, it's different. It's a different energy.

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Speaker 1: I interviewed a lady last night who was amazing an

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Speaker 1: author and a creative and the name's Samantha Wills, and

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Speaker 1: she's a big deal and she's got all these followers

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Speaker 1: and it was great and she was lovely. But it's

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Speaker 1: a completely different preparation and different mindset and different energy

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Speaker 1: to talking. Like, I feel like I don't need to

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Speaker 1: get myself in a different state. But because I know

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Speaker 1: I know you, I kind of know the vibe and

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Speaker 1: the energy and the emotion, so I don't have to

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Speaker 1: be on guard, you know, when you're talking to a stranger,

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Speaker 1: You're always thinking, I wonder how this will go. I

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Speaker 1: wonder what they're like, and I wonder how they'll be

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Speaker 1: around me, because I'm a lot So I've been excited.

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Speaker 2: Oh honestly, so have I.

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Speaker 3: And I would say even coming on as a guest,

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Speaker 3: I would say exactly the same thing, Like, my preparation

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Speaker 3: for your podcast is very different to another podcast of

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Speaker 3: where I maybe don't know the host as well as

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Speaker 3: I know you, And my preparation for you was nothing.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I'm going to show up today and

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Speaker 3: I'm going to be me and I'm going to have

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Speaker 3: a great chat to Crago, and I've been really excited

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Speaker 3: about it.

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Speaker 1: One hundred per And for those of you who are thinking,

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Speaker 1: what's Craigo? You probably heard me interview Bianca the other day.

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Speaker 1: Who calls me Craigo. Charrell, who's been on the show,

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Speaker 1: calls me Crago, And so people who over the journey

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Speaker 1: have been close to me, like a lot of family

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Speaker 1: and friends, is probably about aty people in the world

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Speaker 1: who call me that. So if you hear someone call

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Speaker 1: me that, you know that we're at some stage been

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Speaker 1: quite intertwined in our journeys. Did you hear me? You

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Speaker 1: probably didn't, but did you? Did you know? I chatted

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Speaker 1: to be the other day.

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Speaker 3: I was about to say, I can't believe I haven't

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Speaker 3: listened to that one. Is that one out yet? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah it came out the other day.

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Speaker 3: I didn't realize that one of my most favorite people

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Speaker 3: in the whole wide world be.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she's such a bloody she's so smart too, bi Ancha.

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Speaker 1: It's like, clearly a very good athlete Bianca Chatfield we're

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Speaker 1: talking about. If you're not sure, go back a few episodes.

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Speaker 1: You'll find her obviously a great athlete and all of that,

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Speaker 1: but really quite creative, quite intelligent, good communicator. She's like,

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Speaker 1: quite good at quite a lot of things, isn't.

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Speaker 3: She Definitely, and very quiet about it. If you don't

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Speaker 3: realize quite how intelligent Bianchor is, she's certainly not forthcoming

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Speaker 3: with how much she does know, which I think.

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Speaker 2: I like that about it intrigues me a little bit

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Speaker 2: with her. I learned something different.

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Speaker 1: Mmmmmm, well when I was talking to her the other day,

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Speaker 1: and well, your bio is significant as well. I learned

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Speaker 1: something about you today that I did not know, but

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Speaker 1: which I'll share in a moment, but yeah, you know. So,

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Speaker 1: she hosts The Nettie on Fox. She hosted the afl

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Speaker 1: W Footy Show for a couple of years. Oh, she

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Speaker 1: does lots of media, lots of corporate speaking, lots of

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Speaker 1: stuff in and around elite sport. You know, she owned gym,

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Speaker 1: she she renovates homes, She was on the block. She was,

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Speaker 1: of course alongside you are fucking superstar netballer representing the

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Speaker 1: country something times like and and like you a mum

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Speaker 1: and all of that stuff. So it's the transition from

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Speaker 1: sport into life. Well, I know that sport and life

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Speaker 1: are intertwine, but I guess the transition out of sport

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Speaker 1: as an athlete everyone copes differently with. So for my

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Speaker 1: listeners who don't, rather than me ring out, read out

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Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff, tell my listeners give them like

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Speaker 1: the however much you want the backstory to you a

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Speaker 1: bit of a snapshot of let's just start with the

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Speaker 1: sports stuff and then we might go back beyond. Sure.

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Speaker 3: Well, for me, I think I came through the pathway

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Speaker 3: really traditionally, I was a Victorian netballer through and through,

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Speaker 3: started playing for my first state team when I was

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Speaker 3: in Grade six and literally just went through every level

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Speaker 3: of state age. Was lucky enough to get a call

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Speaker 3: up to the Melbourne Phoenix as a development player when

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Speaker 3: I was only fifteen and would go in once a

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Speaker 3: month and train with the team, and then honestly my

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Speaker 3: netball journey just took off from there. I decided not

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Speaker 3: to go to the Australian Institute of Sport because I

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Speaker 3: thought I am in a club and in a team

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Speaker 3: here training with the best athletes and best team in

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Speaker 3: the world. Why would I chose to go on live

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Speaker 3: in Canberra, away from my family and friends and play

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Speaker 3: with girls at my level. So I decided and made

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Speaker 3: the hard decision and was told I would never play

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Speaker 3: for Australia because I made that decision. But the in

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Speaker 3: Phoenix purple blood was just pumping through my veins forever

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Speaker 3: really and went through and was lucky enough to play

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Speaker 3: nationally for the Phoenix for the Melbourne Vixen's got it

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Speaker 3: to a bit of a plateau in my career, so

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Speaker 3: moved over to Adelaide for six years, was lucky enough

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Speaker 3: to captain the club there, played for Australia. I went

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Speaker 3: to two Commonwealth Games in a World Championships and then

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Speaker 3: from there kind of started life as a mum, went

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Speaker 3: back to netball again, which is probably some of my

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Speaker 3: favorite memories on the netball court. I was after coming

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Speaker 3: home and now I'm sitting over here in Orlando, Florida

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Speaker 3: as my husband plays in the NBA. So it's a

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Speaker 3: seventeen year career. Feels like it just went by in

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Speaker 3: a flash, absolute flash.

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Speaker 1: Well, you were fifteen when you rock up at the Phoenix,

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Speaker 1: and then seventeen years later you hung up the boots,

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Speaker 1: so to speak. What do you remember of the first

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Speaker 1: time like rocking up? I mean not even a teenager,

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Speaker 1: like an eighten or nine year old, like like three

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Speaker 1: years before you were twelve, I mean you were you

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Speaker 1: were just what was that like? Going into that environment with,

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Speaker 1: as you said, probably the best club team in the

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Speaker 1: world and definitely some of the best players in the

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Speaker 1: world at that time, what was that like?

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Speaker 3: Easily and at the time, Joyce Brown was actually the

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Speaker 3: coach as well, so absolutely phenomenal coach. I remember feeling

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Speaker 3: like a kid in that environment. But I remember the

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Speaker 3: feeling just in my hands and running out in the

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Speaker 3: cold to warm up and just going this is what

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Speaker 3: I want to do with my life. I want to

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Speaker 3: be like these girls. I want to be Lisbonila and

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Speaker 3: Susan Meani. And remembering just I was a static, I

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Speaker 3: was only allowed to come in once a month at

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Speaker 3: that time, and there was your Briany Cargiles and your

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Speaker 3: Julie Prendergast, and we would go as our little young

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Speaker 3: group and train with them, and I aim to just

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Speaker 3: not drop a ball and hope to not be seen,

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Speaker 3: not to be noticed really at that time, and then

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Speaker 3: fast forward a couple of years from there when we're

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Speaker 3: actually contracted. It's that same thing. The one thing that

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Speaker 3: I would say about the Melbourne Phoenix, which I think

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Speaker 3: has held true through my entire career before and after sport,

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Speaker 3: is just the people that I came into the environment

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Speaker 3: with those older girls around me never treated us differently.

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Speaker 3: They really did take us under their wing and show

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Speaker 3: us the way and didn't give us any favors. Let's

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Speaker 3: say that it was work. You turned up and if

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Speaker 3: you're rocking up ready to train, then you rock up

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Speaker 3: and ready to train. There's no going easy on one.

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Speaker 3: And I learned that from day one in that environment.

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Speaker 3: And I loved that about the environment I think when

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Speaker 3: I think about sport now and even some of the

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Speaker 3: teams I played with in later in my career, I

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Speaker 3: think that old school mentality is not around anymore. It's

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Speaker 3: very very different environment and elite now. So I think

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Speaker 3: that held through with me for most of my career.

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Speaker 1: When I started. When I started working with the Phoenix,

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Speaker 1: you girl, I'd come out of football, so I'd worked

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Speaker 1: in AFL for four years with Some Kilda and then

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Speaker 1: with Port Melbourne and the VFL, and like lots of blokes,

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Speaker 1: I'd worked with lots of men and track athletes and

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Speaker 1: kind of fighters and a few swimmers, and like also

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Speaker 1: quite a few women, but disproportionately more blokes. And then

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Speaker 1: from the rest of my career it has been eighty

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Speaker 1: percent women, which is amazing in terms of athletes. But

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Speaker 1: I remember coming in thinking, I guess, not really having

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Speaker 1: high expectations because the sport then was semi professional. You

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Speaker 1: girls were paid fuck all. You were all either studying

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Speaker 1: or working and playing netball, and you were expected to

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Speaker 1: train and did train like full time elite athletes, which

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Speaker 1: you weren't, but you were elite athletes, but you all

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Speaker 1: had to support yourselves either academically or financially, and I

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Speaker 1: remember thinking, I don't know what I expected, but I

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Speaker 1: was blown away by the intensity and the ferocity and

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Speaker 1: the fucking take no prisoners in training, in training, and

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Speaker 1: then and then I rocked up, and I'd never this

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Speaker 1: is to my own detriment, right, But I got asked

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Speaker 1: by the then coach if I would come along and

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Speaker 1: do some conditioning works, which kind of grew and grew

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Speaker 1: until you know, I was there for a long time

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Speaker 1: and played, you know, in that space, a reasonable role,

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Speaker 1: I guess. But I remember the first game of the

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Speaker 1: first season, when I'd been there only maybe a few months,

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Speaker 1: doing all the preseason and training and conditioning and building

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Speaker 1: a relationship with all you girls slash women. And I

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Speaker 1: came to the first game and I was in the

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Speaker 1: change rooms and everyone was just hanging out and chatting

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Speaker 1: and laughing and talking shit. And I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you remember this story. I've told this once or twice,

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Speaker 1: but I remember being really worried because I'm like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: where are their heads? Like they are not like they're

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Speaker 1: just talking bullshit. No one's focused, like we're going out

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Speaker 1: in twenty minutes.

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Speaker 4: Everyone's fucking giggling, and there's music playing, and there's this

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Speaker 4: is this is bullshit, this is not elite sport and

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Speaker 4: all this because in the AFL rooms, like it's like

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Speaker 4: quite intense, you know, intense, and there were funny things.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't it was like a good environment, a fun environment.

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Speaker 1: But then then everyone ran out and it was just

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Speaker 1: like everyone crossed that line and it was like two

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Speaker 1: different people, two different teams. I'm like, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: And probably at the top of the list in terms

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Speaker 1: of white line fever. I mean, you were okay yourself,

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Speaker 1: but Bianca who went from being the nicest person to

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Speaker 1: the biggest bitch, And she would say that, she would

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Speaker 1: say that, she said it the other day and she's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't. Yeah, I didn't want to shake anyone's hand.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to. I wasn't in for that warm

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Speaker 1: and fuzzy you know. Maybe afterwards, but I remember, I

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Speaker 1: can't I can't remember which athlete it was, but someone

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Speaker 1: held out their hand to her and she pushed it away.

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Speaker 2: Or one of those girls.

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Speaker 3: Feaver came became worse depending on who we're playing, Like

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Speaker 3: when it was Phoenix Viva, Sydney Swift it was on

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Speaker 3: like it was on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And we're the same at training, like we got

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Speaker 2: the same at training.

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Speaker 3: I would expect if I was running past and I

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Speaker 3: was in Bianca's way, that I'd get clipped.

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Speaker 2: Just get on with it.

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Speaker 1: So your husband, as you said, Joe plays for the

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Speaker 1: Timberwolves Minnesota timbwlves in the NBA. Has been a bunch

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Speaker 1: of teams. Is he's without doubt one of Australia's best

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Speaker 1: ever basketball has done incredible stuff. You you did more

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Speaker 1: than what you said. You played sixty seven games for Australia,

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Speaker 1: you won a World Championship, you won common Wealth Games gold,

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Speaker 1: common Wealth Games silver. You've got a master's degree in

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Speaker 1: high performance. Is that right? You've got you know, you've

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Speaker 1: got to like, you've done some incredible shit, right, But

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Speaker 1: since you were a kid, you've been around high performance,

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Speaker 1: whether or not that's in sport or in mindset or both. Right,

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Speaker 1: tell me about the importance of being around people who

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Speaker 1: drag you up.

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Speaker 3: Oh, for me, I think being around people that raise

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Speaker 3: your standards all the time. Of the reason that I

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Speaker 3: got to where I was, I think for me, I

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Speaker 3: had talent and I had skill, But I think It's

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Speaker 3: always been the hard work that has held me to

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Speaker 3: where I am, and I actually think when I think

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Speaker 3: of my career and look back at what I was

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Speaker 3: able to achieve, I'm really grateful for it, But what

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Speaker 3: I actually think about is so much hard work behind it.

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Speaker 3: None of that came naturally for me, especially physically, which

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Speaker 3: a lot of people towards the end of my career

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Speaker 3: used to think that I was this physical beast, and

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Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I've worked for ten years to

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Speaker 3: be this physical beast because of some feedback, honestly, that

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Speaker 3: I had received when I as young as seventeen eighteen nineteen.

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Speaker 2: With you guys and your.

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Speaker 3: Team, having good people around you is crucial for any success.

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Speaker 3: I think, whether that is performance on the Sporting cort,

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Speaker 3: performance performance as a mum, performance in your relationships, music,

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Speaker 3: whatever it is that your career does. The people that

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Speaker 3: you have around you, I think is crucial to your

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Speaker 3: success or your lack thereof success, and then also your

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Speaker 3: enjoyment of that too, because you know the team that

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Speaker 3: you're in and the people you're around, the enjoyment that

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Speaker 3: you have, I think that leads to better results and

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Speaker 3: stuff as well. And I think I've always been held

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Speaker 3: to really high standards since literally since I was a

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Speaker 3: little girl.

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Speaker 2: In the home that I grew up in.

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Speaker 3: It was, you know, looking the right way, presenting the

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Speaker 3: right way, working hard, finishing things that I start. If

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Speaker 3: you commit to something, you're committed to it. There's no

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Speaker 3: dropping out, there's no quitting. All of those sorts of

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Speaker 3: things up and through teams and coaches and you know

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Speaker 3: the expectations and goals that you have to meet. And

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Speaker 3: I think that's both been a strength and a weakness

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Speaker 3: for me. Always wanting to be the absolute high performer

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Speaker 3: has been something obviously that I look back on my

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Speaker 3: career and I'm grateful for because of what I was

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Speaker 3: able to achieve.

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Speaker 2: But I think everything comes at a cost.

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Speaker 1: I was going to ask you about that, so beautiful segue.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for doing that. So one of the dichotomies

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Speaker 1: of sport is that on the one hand, you almost

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Speaker 1: have to be, if not have to be obsessed. An

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Speaker 1: obsession ain't healthy, right, It's like, well, you have to

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Speaker 1: sacrifice a lot, Like there's a even if you're talented,

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Speaker 1: and there's still all the work and there's still all

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Speaker 1: the external variables, you know, diet, nutrition, sleep, recovery, injury management,

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Speaker 1: you know, psychology, all that. There are so many things

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Speaker 1: that contribute to the end product, which is your performance

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Speaker 1: as an athlete and also the performance as a team.

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Speaker 1: But in the middle of that, you know, sometimes what

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Speaker 1: we see, what you've seen, definitely, what I've seen is

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Speaker 1: people who are amazing athletes but kind of almost broken

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Speaker 1: humans because you know, in some ways their world class

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Speaker 1: and in some ways you know they're emotional messes when

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Speaker 1: no one's looking right. It's not an easy thing because

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Speaker 1: everything comes at a cost. Tell me a little bit

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Speaker 1: about what if if you're comfortable to some of the

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Speaker 1: stuff that you struggled with off court in terms of

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Speaker 1: you the human, you, you the mum, you, the sister, you,

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Speaker 1: the daughter, you, the person just trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: how the fuck life works.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how deep do you want to go? Craig?

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Speaker 3: I think want to I think that for me, sport

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Speaker 3: and how hard I was able to work and what

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Speaker 3: I was able to achieve through that became my badge

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Speaker 3: of honor and my shield. So when it came to emotions,

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Speaker 3: I didn't show any It was really easy for me

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Speaker 3: physically and even psychologically to lock in that there is

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Speaker 3: this greater cause and this goal I've got to reach,

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Speaker 3: and anything that gets me in the way, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to tear down. And I think I lost myself along

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Speaker 3: the way in that, especially as a leader, in that

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Speaker 3: I grew up in a time and felt in the

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Speaker 3: house that I grew up that emotion was weakness, and

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Speaker 3: that leader I always had to be the strongest one,

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Speaker 3: the fittest one, and that meant not showing the emotions,

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Speaker 3: getting on with it, having that grit and that resilience

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Speaker 3: and all of those things which I think left the

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Speaker 3: human renee behind, and robot machine renee was made and

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Speaker 3: that was the easy part of doing it.

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Speaker 2: I was able to do that.

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Speaker 3: And then I think when you get into the next

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Speaker 3: phase of your life and after sport, when all of

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Speaker 3: a sudden you're not achieving things, or not getting the

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Speaker 3: external pat on your back, or not connecting with people

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Speaker 3: as well as you would because that's not what you

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Speaker 3: knew you would naturally do. It's incredibly hard. And I

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Speaker 3: just think life as an athlete as another layer to

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Speaker 3: that is you have to be selfish, you have to

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Speaker 3: be obsessed, and you have to be selfish when it

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Speaker 3: comes to what you eat, what you drink, when you sleep,

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Speaker 3: what you wear, like when you train. Everything that you

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Speaker 3: do in your day revolves around you and your performance.

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Speaker 3: And then for me, transitioning out of that and becoming

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Speaker 3: a mum, which you have to be the most unselfish

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Speaker 3: human being in the world because nothing is about you anymore,

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Speaker 3: has been quite a big identity shift. But long story short,

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Speaker 3: I think I lost my identity along the way in

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Speaker 3: my career because so much of who I was was

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Speaker 3: tied up in Renee as the netballer and Renee is

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Speaker 3: the athlete, and in all realms of my life, I

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Speaker 3: would show up as Renee as the netballer and the

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Speaker 3: Renee as the athlete, and that was my brand and

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Speaker 3: lost the human side of me along the way.

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Speaker 1: Wow, where did you Where did you learn that? Without

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Speaker 1: trying to throw anyone under the bus, any family member

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Speaker 1: under the bus, but where did you learn that emotions

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Speaker 1: equal weakness?

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Speaker 3: I think I grew up in a house that we

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Speaker 3: didn't have a lot financially. I think my parents were incredibly,

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Speaker 3: incredibly hard workers in their own right and together trying

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Speaker 3: to put food on the table and keep the lights

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Speaker 3: on in the house for my siblings and I I

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Speaker 3: was the oldest, so have always taken the care take

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Speaker 3: a role. So I think I learned really early on

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Speaker 3: that one if I was achieving and if I was

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Speaker 3: people pleasing and essentially being this chameleon that could mirror

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Speaker 3: the person sitting across me and give them the answer

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Speaker 3: that I thought they wanted from me and nice mind

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Speaker 3: and be the easy child, that that was the way

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Speaker 3: to go. And I think just even growing up in

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Speaker 3: a time where like showing emotion and be like, I

357
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Speaker 3: don't play like a girl, like you'd hear that, don't

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Speaker 3: play like a girl.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, ohyeah, I've got to be the

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Speaker 2: top all of the time.

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Speaker 3: And then I even just think about like my teenage years,

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Speaker 3: a couple of teams that I missed out on where

363
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Speaker 3: I'd be really upset. I think I got good feedback

364
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Speaker 3: around how tough I was to like just pick myself up,

365
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Speaker 3: get back in the gym the next day. It's hard

366
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Speaker 3: work out to be better next week or to make

367
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Speaker 3: the next team, And started getting recognition from that, so

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Speaker 3: you start going, Okay, I'm on a good thing here.

369
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Speaker 3: So yeah, I think just over time it chipped away

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Speaker 3: and then leadership positions and stuff. I think connection for

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Speaker 3: me wasn't something that came naturally because I was quite shy.

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Speaker 3: I've always had a pretty low self esteem or like

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Speaker 3: critiquing in a voice with me, So I think connection

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Speaker 3: early on wasn't easy. So I think I felt like

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Speaker 3: if I was showing emotion, that I was putting something

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Speaker 3: on someone else. So I always wanted just to be

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Speaker 3: the happy one, the nice one, the one that wanted

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Speaker 3: to be liked and valued and loved. So I to

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Speaker 3: say thing rather than say my thing.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I mean my time you know, spent around you,

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Speaker 1: me and a coaching role, you were in an athlete role.

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Speaker 1: It was I've never told you this. It was almost

383
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Speaker 1: like you were a little bit like, give us a hug,

384
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Speaker 1: but fuck off though yes, yes, like I always say,

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Speaker 1: Tiff who works with me? Tif TIFFs, TIFF's really the

386
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 1: ice is broken with her. But for a long time,

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Speaker 1: it's like she wears a T shirt that says give

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Speaker 1: me a hug, and at the same time a baseball

389
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Speaker 1: cap that says, nah, fuck off, just kidding, you know,

390
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Speaker 1: And you were like, You're always pleasant, you're always professional,

391
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Speaker 1: you're always nice. But it was I found it hard

392
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Speaker 1: to get through the renee Veneer, you know, and then

393
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Speaker 1: then but I mean we got them well, there were

394
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Speaker 1: no problems and it was all you know, it was.

395
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Speaker 1: It was friendly enough. But then it's funny because you

396
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Speaker 1: and I have reconnected in the last I don't know,

397
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Speaker 1: month or two, and we've spoken a bit, and we've

398
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Speaker 1: you know, we've connected interacted, and you've jumped in one

399
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 1: of my groups and fucked around a bit and contributed

400
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Speaker 1: to the group and we've spoken like this if you

401
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Speaker 1: and I feel like I've gotten to know you more

402
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Speaker 1: in a probably you know, four or five chats than

403
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Speaker 1: however many years that was because you're you're the same,

404
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Speaker 1: but you're not the same.

405
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Speaker 3: Now, totally agree, and that has taken Obviously, I'm a

406
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,240
Speaker 3: lot older now. When you first met me, I was

407
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Speaker 3: seventeen eighteen and trying to navigate what that meant for

408
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Speaker 3: a young girl in elite sports and trying to work

409
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Speaker 3: out relationships and all of the things. But yeah, I

410
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 3: think through more of my career than not, that is

411
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,800
Speaker 3: the way I was. I thought letting people in, I mean,

412
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 3: you know this, you know this in relationships, but letting

413
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,680
Speaker 3: people in gave me the opportunity to be let down,

414
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:41,719
Speaker 3: so not letting people in was easier, and wearing this

415
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:47,360
Speaker 3: hard armor and just being this elite athlete, I thought

416
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Speaker 3: it was going to serve me better.

417
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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: Of course, if I had my time again, i'd do

419
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Speaker 3: things a little bit differently, but you.

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Speaker 2: Know, it's all part of it. It's part of growth.

421
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Speaker 3: One thing that I will say throughout my entire career,

422
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Speaker 3: even since I was a little girl, I've loved to learn.

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Speaker 2: I've loved growth. I'm obsessed with learning, obsessed with growth, want.

424
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Speaker 3: To be better, I love evolving, I love learning new

425
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Speaker 3: things about myself. So that is a part of life

426
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Speaker 3: now and starting to get closer to the age of

427
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 3: forty and up there that I'm actually really enjoying that

428
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Speaker 3: self awareness piece and how much that is growing, and

429
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 3: why I want to do the work that I'm doing

430
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 3: at the moment and work with athletes and people that

431
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 3: are still doing it, because if they can harness some

432
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 3: of that stuff about who they are as people, not

433
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Speaker 3: just what their job title is or what they identify

434
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 3: like with are they an athlete or whatever, who they

435
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 3: are as a person away from the court. Because I

436
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,640
Speaker 3: didn't give enough time to that I just put everything

437
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 3: whilst I was still studying and working out what life

438
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 3: was going to look like and navigating those relationships that

439
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 3: so much of my identity was tied to the athlete

440
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,399
Speaker 3: and who she was.

441
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 1: I know there's a million answers to this, but in

442
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 1: general terms, so now you're the thirty eight year old

443
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 1: mum of three elect an ex elite athlete, wife to

444
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: a current elite athlete. You're in and around high performance

445
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: and have been most of your life, and now you've

446
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,879
Speaker 1: got more experience, more miles on the clock, You've got

447
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,640
Speaker 1: a different perspective, you've got more understanding and self awareness

448
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 1: and other awareness, and mentally, emotionally and socially, you've evolved

449
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 1: a lot. So now we plunk you in front of

450
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 1: a group of people who are basically a version of

451
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: you twenty years ago. What are the things that you

452
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 1: want to share with them? How do you want to

453
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: connect with them?

454
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:44,159
Speaker 3: For me, I think it's about them understanding themselves. So

455
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 3: I'm not asking them about their sport. I'm not asking

456
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,919
Speaker 3: about what teams they have or haven't made. I'm not

457
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 3: asking about what their goals are in that realm. I

458
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 3: want to know what they're passionate about what fills their cup,

459
00:24:55,160 --> 00:25:00,919
Speaker 3: what do other people, what do they bring to other people, what.

460
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 2: Do they love?

461
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 3: Who are the relationships?

462
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 2: Who's holding them up? I think?

463
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,360
Speaker 3: I think what I've learned is that connection can really

464
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 3: affect your quality of life, and connection really affects your performance.

465
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 2: So what do those connection pieces think?

466
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 3: Because I have always thought, and any girl that sits

467
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 3: in front of me, and even my daughter is eight

468
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 3: and I'm trying to have these conversations with her now

469
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 3: that my badge of honor was how independent I was.

470
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 3: I'm this independence wrong, kick ass, superhuman, right, But there's

471
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 3: only so much I can achieve on my own, and

472
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 3: that interdependency is what actually, that connection piece is what's

473
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:49,399
Speaker 3: actually going to make us thrive, not just survive. Because

474
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,439
Speaker 3: for a long time I was just driving, so I

475
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 3: would who's in your corner? How are they helping you?

476
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,879
Speaker 3: And how are you helping them? And what is it

477
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 3: you actually love? M I think so much of us

478
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 3: I would or like if people back then had said

479
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 3: to me, Hi, who are you? I would say, Hi,

480
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 3: I'm I'm an buller.

481
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 1: Yes, so interesting. It's like independences, like that defiant independence.

482
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 1: It's like a two edged sword, because on the one hand,

483
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: it's like, fuck people, I don't need people. I'm fuck

484
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 1: I can do this, And on the other side, you're like, well,

485
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 1: if I need people, that's a dependency and that's weak, right, yeah,

486
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: And that's I used to be a little bit like

487
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 1: that too, because in a different realm, but trying to me,

488
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 1: trying to succeed build something that would work, not as

489
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 1: an athlete, but as a whatever, as a business person, entrepreneur, creator, scientist, whatever,

490
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 1: trying to figure it out, and it's it's the same.

491
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 1: And you know, the other I guess curveball in the

492
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 1: middle of this is as an elite athlete, when you're

493
00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 1: in demand, like you you work for a very long

494
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,240
Speaker 1: time and still are to a level I'm sure, but

495
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,639
Speaker 1: there are a bunch of people who want something from you.

496
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:12,159
Speaker 1: So I think sometimes it's like I get you probably

497
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: get as many I get, I don't know, ten times

498
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: a week, someone who has an opportunity for me, And

499
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 1: then I look in I go, the only person that's

500
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: an opportunity for is them, you know, because they want

501
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 1: something from me, and it's just it's a sales pitch

502
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 1: dressed up as a fucking opportunity and so you know,

503
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 1: not that you want to be overly cynical, but you

504
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,479
Speaker 1: still have to be careful about for whom you open

505
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 1: the door to your heart and your head, right, And

506
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: so there's not everybody is not everybody that's here to

507
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 1: help is here to help. No.

508
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 3: I agree, it's such a hard thing to navigate. And

509
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,199
Speaker 3: I think what I'm learning now and a lot of

510
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 3: this especially, and you know, it's a bit of a buzzword,

511
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 3: but like vulnerability is that you've just got to take

512
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 3: the risk.

513
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 2: Like with other people. I think.

514
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 3: I was never the one to get vulnerable first or

515
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 3: put myself out there because I was scared of what

516
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 3: was going to happen.

517
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 2: But it almost takes that.

518
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just think I would love to

519
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 1: I would love to play this. I'd love to play

520
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 1: this chapter seventeen year old you, you would have gone,

521
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:24,439
Speaker 1: who the fuck is that?

522
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 2: I literally would? Yes, Yes, I know.

523
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,400
Speaker 1: Tell me about so knowing what you know, having been

524
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 1: where you've been, and kind of you and Joe have had,

525
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: you know, like similar journeys from a sport and development

526
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: and getting to the pointy end of where you could

527
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: get to in your chosen field. And now I know

528
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 1: you're much more than this, but part of your role,

529
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: I guess, is support crew for him. You know, of

530
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 1: course you're a lot more than that, but that's you know,

531
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 1: to support your husband. And what does that look like?

532
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 1: How do you how do you know how much to say,

533
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 1: when to say, when to shut the fuck up, when

534
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: to step in, when to step away? Because I feel

535
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: like that's a skill set.

536
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 3: One thing that I would say, and Joe and I

537
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 3: have been together now about fifteen years, never ever have

538
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 3: I ever given him any sort of feedback on a

539
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 3: basketball skill ever, nor because he'd laugh in my face

540
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 3: and say, what are you talking about?

541
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 2: But when it.

542
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 3: Comes to body language, how is moving his facial expressions,

543
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 3: how his energy looks, how he was contributing to the

544
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 3: group or not contributing to the group, what he is

545
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 3: doing in the lead up. Is this beneficial for you

546
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 3: and your performance? All of those stuff around who he

547
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 3: is an athlete? Absolutely, I say it, and we have

548
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 3: really good healthy conversations around that. But I would just

549
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 3: never ever give him any sort of skilled basketball advice,

550
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 3: just on the reverse that he would have never done

551
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 3: that to me in netball. But I would have to

552
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 3: say that as being an ex athlete myself. Is one

553
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 3: of the best things about being married to Joe, and

554
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 3: one of the hardest things about being married to Joe

555
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 3: is that my career is done, and there's almost this

556
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 3: sense of like, oh, if I'd done this then, or

557
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 3: I know this, so you should know this now and

558
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 3: let me help you with this, or do this because

559
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 3: it's differently, and one day that'll be gone and you know,

560
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 3: all of the feelings of what I've lost that he

561
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 3: still gets to do, and then the feeling of me

562
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 3: walking into his stadiums and sitting there and being so

563
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 3: happy to love and support and watch him do his thing.

564
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 2: Of course as an.

565
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 3: Eleinem in my heart where I'm like, oh, I'd love

566
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 3: to be back in the stadium full of people that are.

567
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 2: Cheering for me out there.

568
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 3: But yeah, Joe and I our entire careers have gone

569
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 3: about things completely differently. We're like chalk and cheese athlete

570
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 3: that he is as opposed to the athlete that I am,

571
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 3: and our preparation and who we are as athletes has

572
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 3: always been really different, and I actually think that has

573
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 3: been a really nice balance because he can calm my

574
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 3: farm and I can energize him and have some more

575
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 3: of those high performance behaviors that he wouldn't necessarily have

576
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 3: had in the first place.

577
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: What's harder? I think I know the answer. Elite's elite

578
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 1: sport or being a mum.

579
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 3: I'll be a mum by far. Elite sport is easy.

580
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 3: That is the easy part as compared to.

581
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 2: Being a mum.

582
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 3: Best, best job in the world, hardest and most mundane, resilient,

583
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 3: twenty four o'clock that never ends, but worth every minute.

584
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 1: Definitely tell us about the kids.

585
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 3: I have eight year old twins, Jacob and Miller and

586
00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 3: Jack who will before next month. They are all they're

587
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 3: three independent, completely different to each other kiddos, which keeps

588
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 3: me on my toes. Jacob, who is one of the

589
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 3: twins eight, was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder when he

590
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 3: was two and a half, so we've been navigating that

591
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 3: for the last six years or so. Sounds crazy saying

592
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 3: that it's been six years, but I am raising three

593
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 3: American children. They have American accents. They don't know the

594
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 3: Australian anthem, they know the American anthem. They Yeah, it's crazy,

595
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 3: three little American kids over here.

596
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: That's so interesting. Isn't it. I didn't think of that.

597
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: I didn't think of that. And yeah, wow, and do

598
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 1: they they just see themselves as American.

599
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.

600
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 3: I think the twins now, as they get older, they're

601
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 3: starting to understand now the difference and oh, we are

602
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 3: from Australia. Jack of course has no idea, he's too young,

603
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 3: but yeah, starting to understand now that Australia is home,

604
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 3: and especially in this last trip and in June we

605
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 3: came home, so that was really nice to see family.

606
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 3: But yeah, and I think they're only just starting to

607
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 3: comprehend how far away Australia is as home, and also

608
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 3: starting to understand the relationships that their friends have with

609
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 3: their families here that have aunties, uncles, grandparents all around

610
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 3: them that they visit weekends and do things with. And

611
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,959
Speaker 3: that's not something that we have. So conversations that are

612
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 3: starting to pop up in our house.

613
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 1: And I know Joe recently, well not well recently recently

614
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 1: went to Minnesota and you're still in Florida. How's that going?

615
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 3: It has been? We moved three times in three years.

616
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 3: We were in Salt Lake City for eight years, then

617
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:59,479
Speaker 3: Joe got traded to Portland, then got signed with Milwaukee Bucks,

618
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 3: moved to Milwaukee, and then we were there for ten months,

619
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 3: and then he signed with Orlando. So we moved here

620
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 3: to Orlando, have been here for twelve months, and honestly

621
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,320
Speaker 3: expected him to be signing here again a very last

622
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 3: minute that like in the NBA, the business that it is,

623
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 3: that changed and he had an opportunity to go to Minnesota.

624
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 3: And before that had happened, we'd had the conversation that

625
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 3: if he was going to be moving again, that it

626
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 3: wasn't fair for the kids to be in four schools

627
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 3: in four years. Three was a lot and a lot

628
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 3: on me as mum. So yes, he moved to Minnesota

629
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,399
Speaker 3: about a month and a half two months ago. Now,

630
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 3: I think for the first month I was riding on

631
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 3: the high of we're used to this, we've done this before,

632
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,760
Speaker 3: We're used to him being away and on the road.

633
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 3: But I think I have also grossly underestimated the mental

634
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 3: load that it has on me of not having a

635
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 3: finish line. So this is not a five day road trip.

636
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 3: This is not a ten day road trip in two

637
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:04,280
Speaker 3: days home into five days away. Again, this is completely different.

638
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 3: And Dad has his own house and lives in a

639
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 3: different spot, and we have to try and work out

640
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 3: times to get to him, and then when our weekends

641
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 3: work that we could fly there. He's of course on

642
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 3: the road in the West coast or you know, logistically.

643
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 2: It is a nightmare.

644
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 3: Even though it sounds really nice that we can fly

645
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 3: between two cities and have two houses and give the

646
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 3: kids snow and sunshine and all of that, but it's

647
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 3: been incredibly difficult, probably more difficult than I thought it

648
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 3: would be. But I think that's also on me and

649
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 3: the super woman that I try to be for my

650
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 3: family and the glue to keep us all together.

651
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 2: That I can't keep.

652
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 3: Juggling all of the balls all of the time, I

653
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 3: don't think so navigating through some of that at the moment,

654
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 3: and how I can get better support around me so

655
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 3: that Renee doesn't burn out.

656
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the idea of some lifestyles is way

657
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 1: better than the practical lived reality. You know, when you

658
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: think husband's in the NBA, I'm living in Orlando. It's beautiful,

659
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 1: it's Florida, it's it's you know, and while in some

660
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 1: ways it's fucking amazing, but the experience is not always amazing, right.

661
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 2: I have thought that since day one.

662
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 3: And I will be the first to say that before

663
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 3: Joe had signed in the NBA, like I would look

664
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,720
Speaker 3: at the NBA and go wow, and this wag life

665
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 3: that people I genuinely think people think we have this

666
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 3: most luxurious, incredible sport lived life, and that it's quite

667
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 3: a lonely existence, especially for the families, and then especially

668
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 3: when you get to a point in the player's career

669
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,840
Speaker 3: like Joe has been where he's one of the veterans,

670
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 3: and that they are moving around a lot more. We

671
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,759
Speaker 3: actually were really lucky that we were in Salt Lake

672
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 3: City for eight years with the role that Joe played,

673
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 3: that's almost unheard of. So we were quite lucky to

674
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 3: be able to entrench ourselves in a team and a

675
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 3: community for that long. But it's definitely not the luxurious

676
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 3: wag life that people.

677
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 2: Think it is.

678
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 3: It's quite lonely and logistically and mentally like incredibly tiring,

679
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 3: not only on us, on Joe as well, And like

680
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 3: I know they of course they get all of the

681
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 3: bells and whistles and they get paid incredibly well to

682
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 3: do what they do, So I'm not denying that for

683
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 3: a second. We're very grateful and privileged in that aspect,

684
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 3: but you know, eighty two games a year in all

685
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 3: different states, all across the country. They work bloody hard too,

686
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 3: and very, very tiring and exhausting in its own way.

687
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 3: So there's a lot to navigate in this lifestyle, and

688
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 3: a lot to navigate without a village around us.

689
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: What happens when? What happens when the superstar you, it's

690
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: just you. The kids are in bed, Joe's world away,

691
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 1: it's just you and your thoughts and you and the

692
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 1: shit hits the fan with you, like Kudie, who's your person?

693
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 1: Who do you reach out to or what do you

694
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 1: do like when you have, as we all do, when

695
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: you have a bit of a moment or a meltdown,

696
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 1: How do you navigate that?

697
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 2: Good question.

698
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 3: I don't allow myself to melt down that too often,

699
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 3: if I'm being completely honest, But I do think if

700
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 3: anyone's copying the brunt of that, that is Joe and

701
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:24,319
Speaker 3: I think that's actually been a good change in our

702
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 3: relationship over the last couple of years. Before then, I

703
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 3: didn't used to unload to him because I didn't want

704
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 3: to affect his performance or you know, have any marriage

705
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 3: issues or whatever. How deep we get down that way.

706
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 3: I think I have really good people around me, not

707
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,839
Speaker 3: a whole lot of people that understand this lifestyle, which

708
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 3: I think is difficult.

709
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 2: But my brother is a really good support system for me.

710
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,720
Speaker 3: I have a younger brother and a younger sister, but Tom,

711
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 3: he too has three young kids, just like I do,

712
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 3: and is just a good sounding board for me in

713
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 3: that way. And I also have one of my really

714
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 3: good friends in Salt Lakes, Sity Emma, who I call

715
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 3: on quite a lot, and she usually gets like the

716
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 3: mom side of the meltdowns. But I think your own

717
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,919
Speaker 3: mum's always on speed dollars as well. But I try

718
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 3: not to call my own mum because I know that

719
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 3: she'll worry too much about me as well. But I

720
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:21,839
Speaker 3: have my people definitely help my people, But Joe is

721
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 3: probably my biggest sounding board there.

722
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:33,240
Speaker 1: How has your mindset, thinking, feeling, operating system around managing

723
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: your body changed. Obviously you're not training like an elite athlete,

724
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:39,919
Speaker 1: and you're not an elite athlete anymore, but you're still

725
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,839
Speaker 1: in I mean, you look like you could play right now.

726
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:48,359
Speaker 1: You look fucking amazing. How has that changed? Because I

727
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 1: know a lot of most athletes that I've worked with

728
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:55,319
Speaker 1: have let's just say, interesting relationships with their body and

729
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 1: with food and with exercise. How does that go now

730
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 1: that you're a thirty eight year old mum of three.

731
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,719
Speaker 3: I think I'm in the period of finding that the

732
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 3: most difficult that I ever have. I think because I

733
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 3: used to get paid to be fit, it was easy.

734
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 3: That part of my job was being as fit as

735
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 3: I could humanly be and put all of that time

736
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 3: and energy into my body, and I needed.

737
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 2: My body to perform.

738
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 3: My body doesn't need to perform in the same way

739
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 3: as that it used to as an athlete. But I

740
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,400
Speaker 3: think now more my focus is on long term. I

741
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 3: think about you know, I think about me compared to

742
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 3: my parents, and we have had kids quite a lot

743
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,279
Speaker 3: later than what my parents' generation do, And I think

744
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 3: about my kids and if that gets later again, well,

745
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,879
Speaker 3: I want to be a grandparent that's around, that can

746
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,720
Speaker 3: look after my grandkids and play on the grass.

747
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 2: And kick a football and do all of that stuff.

748
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 3: So a lot of my focus now, i'd say is

749
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 3: long term rene rather than now. However, I would say

750
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 3: that I sit in the hardest part now when it

751
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 3: comes to body and meat and self esteem. Because I'm

752
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 3: obviously not as lean as what I used to be

753
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,680
Speaker 3: as an athlete, I don't need to be. I also

754
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 3: don't have the time or energy to put in as

755
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 3: many hours and effort into all of that stuff as

756
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 3: I do.

757
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 2: It's just craziness.

758
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 3: And I just you know, I'm thirty eight as well,

759
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 3: so I don't think the intensity that I used to

760
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 3: put my body through would do the same as what

761
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 3: it did five ten years ago. Do I believe that

762
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:28,399
Speaker 3: if I worked hard enough that I could get out

763
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 3: on the court and smash it and play again.

764
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,399
Speaker 2: Yes, but there is.

765
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 3: Nothing to gain from that other than honestly filling the

766
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 3: external pat on the back achievement.

767
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 2: A little bit. Again, I would say.

768
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 3: My relationship with my body over my entire career has

769
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 3: been pretty consistent in that a lot of how I

770
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 3: performed and how I felt about myself was connected to

771
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 3: how I felt physically about myself. You may or may

772
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 3: not remember this, but when I was seventeen, I was

773
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 3: sat down by coach Lisa Alexander. I can put myself

774
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,760
Speaker 3: on the chair at the courts where I was told

775
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 3: that I looked great for an average person, but was

776
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,399
Speaker 3: carrying too much weight. For an athlete, and of course

777
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,239
Speaker 3: as a seventeen year old girl, what I heard is

778
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 3: your fat. So I think since that day, I was like, right,

779
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 3: I'm always from this day going to be the leanest,

780
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 3: the fittest. I'll never have that red mark against me,

781
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 3: and I think I came pretty close to achieving that. However,

782
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 3: I think in terms of, you know, I don't need

783
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 3: to look fit, or tend or any of those things

784
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,279
Speaker 3: in a dress anymore. But that doesn't mean to say

785
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 3: that I don't look in the mirror still and go, oh,

786
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 3: but maybe if I just smashed myself for another couple

787
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 3: of weeks or go back to these old habits. Of

788
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 3: my vice was exercise, So I wouldn't say I had

789
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:54,920
Speaker 3: an unhealthy relationship with food in that I would restrict

790
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 3: calories and stuff, but not enough to affect my performance,

791
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,879
Speaker 3: but enough that I would feel and look and new

792
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,640
Speaker 3: enough and even in the degrees that I did what

793
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 3: I needed to do to fuel my body to stay

794
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 3: and look the part, but also offorn with that as well.

795
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 3: And I think coming out for retirement, coming into retirement

796
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:18,600
Speaker 3: and not training the way you always used to train,

797
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 3: of course you're going to look and feel different. And

798
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,879
Speaker 3: then another layer that you didn't ask for is that

799
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 3: you come into this NBA wag life and I don't

800
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:33,480
Speaker 3: look like your average wag right, Like I don't wear

801
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 3: a lot of makeup. I don't have the big, beautiful

802
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,280
Speaker 3: curly hair over here in America.

803
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 2: I'm not a tiny little whippet.

804
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 3: I'm like an ex athlete, right I've got muscles, i

805
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 3: still work out.

806
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 2: I'm like a taller, bigger girl.

807
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 3: And that is quite hard from a self esteem perspective

808
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 3: as well, when you're mixing with all of these beautiful,

809
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:57,320
Speaker 3: social media perfect girls when it's not me.

810
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,359
Speaker 1: Ah, that makes me laugh, But I get it. I

811
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:02,680
Speaker 1: get it, get it.

812
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,880
Speaker 3: Just like yeah, and then you do you laugh at yourself,

813
00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 3: and then I go, well, I.

814
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:09,800
Speaker 2: Truly don't have the time or energy to do that anyway.

815
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 2: Like even if I could, I could have my whole team.

816
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 3: Of all of that, and I could dress in the

817
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 3: labels and the fashion, but it's just not me. I'm

818
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 3: like Deans and sneakers and Joe's teamhood because that's all

819
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 3: I could throw on after getting the kids to bed

820
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 3: and rushing to a game. So I think too, Like, obviously,

821
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 3: given my age now and I've got three kids, and

822
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,399
Speaker 3: Joe's been in the league for as long as he has.

823
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 3: I don't care about that stuff as much as I

824
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 3: did year one. But of course that I'm a woman

825
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 3: think about Oh I do.

826
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: You know what? But I don't. Just yeah, firstly, I

827
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 1: totally understand. But even you know, I'm a sixty one

828
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 1: year old bug an idiot, and I still care what

829
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,919
Speaker 1: I look like. You know, It's like anyone who goes ah,

830
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 1: it's only about health and performance and function. For me,

831
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:58,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, I call bullshit. Ye, everyone everyone cares a

832
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: little bit what they look like. That doesn't mean you've

833
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 1: got to be vain or conceited or egotistical. But I

834
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe they exist, but I don't know that

835
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 1: I've ever met anyone who absolutely doesn't care at all.

836
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that needs to be the focus or

837
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 1: the priority, but I'm like, well, you know I want

838
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:23,600
Speaker 1: to be My priority is definitely health, wellness, you know, function, performance, fitness, definitely,

839
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 1: But also I don't want to look you know, I

840
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 1: want to look as good as I can look for

841
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 1: what i've got to work with. I think that's healthy

842
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,839
Speaker 1: and normal, and I think anyone who says that that's

843
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 1: irrelevant is a fucking is a big fucking fibber. Hey,

844
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 1: so you guys, I think he just turned thirty seven,

845
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 1: like just last month or something. Yeah, so he's on

846
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 1: the home straight of his career. He's probably not going

847
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 1: to play till he's fifty. So whether or not that's

848
00:45:54,880 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 1: another year or two or three, who knows when that's done.

849
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 1: Are you going to stay there? Are you going to

850
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 1: come to Australia or you're not sure? Or are you

851
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:09,279
Speaker 1: going to what are you? What are you going to do?

852
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 3: This for us has changed over the last couple of years.

853
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 3: I think we've always said the day that Joe retired,

854
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 3: we're on the first plane back to Australia to be

855
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:22,240
Speaker 3: in Melbourne with family and friends and all of that stuff.

856
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 2: We have house and stuff in Melbourne.

857
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 3: Navigating the school system for my son who is autistic

858
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 3: has been incredibly difficult, and with the changes and Australia

859
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 3: at the moment when it comes to autism and special

860
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:45,320
Speaker 3: needs and even neurodiversity in schools is quite far behind.

861
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 2: Compared to over here in the States.

862
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 3: Anyway, we'd still plan to come back until we landed

863
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 3: in Orlando and the three kids in the schools that

864
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 3: they are in. This is another logistical nightmare. Craigar I

865
00:46:56,239 --> 00:46:58,440
Speaker 3: have three kids in three different schools and no husband

866
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:00,919
Speaker 3: here to help, so it's a nightmare. But they're all

867
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 3: really happy and thriving. But Jacob is in a school

868
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 3: that he is. He goes to school really happy, he

869
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:12,240
Speaker 3: comes home really engaged, and is just a different kid,

870
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 3: which is part of the reason why we didn't move

871
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:19,320
Speaker 3: to Minnesota as well. But seeing him thrive and be

872
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 3: happy in school makes it incredibly difficult for us to say, yep,

873
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:25,240
Speaker 3: we're on the first white back home, because I don't

874
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 3: I think for him it would be a step backwards

875
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:31,799
Speaker 3: in his education and the resources that he has around him.

876
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 3: Then and then we'd also say that we landed in

877
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 3: Florida and this was just like this La la land

878
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:38,480
Speaker 3: for us. I was like, I know, Disney's there, I

879
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 3: don't know much else about it. Well, first winter here

880
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 3: in Florida, it was just beautiful. We absolutely loved it here.

881
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,879
Speaker 3: So we went, oh my gosh, we've been over here

882
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 3: in the league for ten years and we've done nothing.

883
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:52,240
Speaker 3: Let's get our green cards. So we got our green cards,

884
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 3: so that now at least.

885
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:54,720
Speaker 2: We have the option.

886
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 3: I Joe says that whenever he retires, whenever that is

887
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 3: however many years A way that is that he just

888
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 3: wants to sit on the couch and not do anything

889
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 3: for twelve months, and I think that'll last a month

890
00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 3: of being like stay at home.

891
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:08,800
Speaker 2: Down and trying to kids.

892
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 1: So I agree.

893
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:16,960
Speaker 3: He'll go into like coaching or something like that, a

894
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 3: role with a team or front office or something like that,

895
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 3: I think pretty quickly, which may keep us over here

896
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 3: as well. I think we're just keeping our options open

897
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 3: of what that can look like at the moment. But

898
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 3: definitely a hard decision to make when it comes to

899
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 3: Jacob and his schooling because it's just so important that

900
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,799
Speaker 3: he is the happiest version of him, and we've found

901
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:39,919
Speaker 3: that place for right now.

902
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 1: Well that makes total sense. I mean, I think it

903
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:46,879
Speaker 1: would almost be, you know, at this point in time,

904
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 1: would be kind of unfair and a little bit mean

905
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:51,800
Speaker 1: to drag him out of that thing where he fits

906
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 1: in well, you know where where you know just what

907
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: you said, like he goes to school happy and he

908
00:48:57,680 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 1: comes home happy or whatever you said. You know, I

909
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 1: mean that's but for kids with those kinds of challenges

910
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 1: that's not always in fact, that's often not the case,

911
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 1: so you don't want to let that go in a hurry, right.

912
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 3: That's exactly right. It's like what we talked about at

913
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 3: the start of this call, though. I think with everything good,

914
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,759
Speaker 3: there is a cost, and that for us is that

915
00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 3: we are a long way away from family and missing

916
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:25,840
Speaker 3: our nieces grow up, and my parents aren't getting any younger.

917
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 3: I'm obviously now stepping back into bits and pieces of

918
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 3: where I can in my career and fitting that in

919
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,480
Speaker 3: with the flexible remote stuff that I can. But I mean,

920
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 3: obviously i'd love to be working in sport in Australia,

921
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 3: and you know, I missing netball a lot and that environment,

922
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 3: and I'm navigating that however I can. But yeah, there's

923
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 3: a cost where there is also a reward. But what

924
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:52,400
Speaker 3: we will never ever regret in the future is picking

925
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 3: the best place where the three of our kids are

926
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 3: the happiest and thriving, and for right now, that's in Orlando.

927
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:04,759
Speaker 1: Before we wind up, tell us about you and I

928
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 1: have spoken a little bit about the work that you're

929
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 1: just starting to do and the business that you're developing,

930
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 1: because you are very entrepreneurial and creative as well. What's

931
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,759
Speaker 1: the stuff that you're starting to do and want to

932
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: do more of in the high performance landscape, whether or

933
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 1: not it's in corporate or with athletes or tell us

934
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 1: about the work that you're creating and building.

935
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm about four to six weeks away from launching

936
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 3: a new business, and I can't give you the name

937
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 3: and all of that softest yet or my there'll we

938
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 3: fire coming out of my team's ears.

939
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 2: But what I can say is what it's.

940
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 1: Not called the You project? Is it?

941
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:44,719
Speaker 3: It's not, I promise I'd love to take that from you. Know,

942
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 3: I'd actually love to do that with you. I think

943
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:50,359
Speaker 3: you're on a good thing, Grego. But no, it's an

944
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 3: opportunity I think to get people to disconnect from the

945
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:56,879
Speaker 3: digital space and the world that we live in now

946
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:01,280
Speaker 3: and reconnect and collaborate with other like minded and even

947
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:06,880
Speaker 3: disagreeable people to reconnect again, in particular to start with women.

948
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 3: In a way, I think we're just getting a little

949
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:13,280
Speaker 3: bit lost as to who we are in this world

950
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:16,439
Speaker 3: and around What I touched on earlier.

951
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 2: Actually is we're all better off.

952
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:22,920
Speaker 3: With connections and relationships and helping one another in those relationships,

953
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:26,520
Speaker 3: So hoping to just connect people again to each other

954
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 3: so that we can all get a better quality of

955
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 3: life and better performance out of ourselves in all realms

956
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 3: of our lives. So I'm really excited to come into

957
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,320
Speaker 3: that space and obviously use you as a mentor Cragio

958
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 3: and pick your brain around aspects of that. But it's

959
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,879
Speaker 3: funny that you said that I'm entrepreneurial and creative, because

960
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 3: I feel like I've spent my whole life feeling like

961
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 3: I'm not creative and that I was going to go

962
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 3: into like a job with one title, and that's what

963
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 3: I thought that I was working towards with all of

964
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:59,800
Speaker 3: my study and all of that stuff and life after netball,

965
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 3: and it's just gone in such a different way. But

966
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,279
Speaker 3: it's keeping it fun and exciting and just trying to,

967
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 3: I guess, make an impact as I can while I

968
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 3: can when I've got young kids and living in a

969
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 3: different country and making the best of it and having

970
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 3: fun with it. So it's actually it's been really nice

971
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,880
Speaker 3: reconnecting with you over the last four to six weeks.

972
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:23,000
Speaker 2: It really has. It's fun. There was actually one thing

973
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 2: that I want to ask.

974
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 1: You about actually I'm ready.

975
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:30,759
Speaker 3: I have just been thinking about it because, as you know,

976
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 3: I've been listening to a lot of your podcasts, and

977
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:36,480
Speaker 3: on nearly every single one of them, you say that

978
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:40,360
Speaker 3: you get the feedback from people that you're intimidating, And

979
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:44,040
Speaker 3: I think about seventeen year old Rena would have called

980
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 3: you intimidating, whereas thirty eight year old Rena doesn't think

981
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:52,360
Speaker 3: you're intimidating. I actually think you're a big, soft, cuddly

982
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:55,360
Speaker 3: teddy bear that throws out some big swear words sometimes

983
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 3: and acts tougher than what you really are in the interior.

984
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 3: But I just about the people that are telling you

985
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 3: that you're intimidating. Are you intimidating or are they intimidated.

986
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 1: It's interesting because, like feeling intimidated, or feeling any way

987
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 1: about any personal around any person is an individual response.

988
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 1: So I might have five people in front of me,

989
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 1: and one person's intimidated, and one person's curious, and one

990
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:30,439
Speaker 1: person's excited and whatever. Right, So we have these five

991
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:33,839
Speaker 1: different kind of internal realities going on around this one

992
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 1: external stimulus, Craig Harper, and so intimidation around me is

993
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 1: an individual response. It's not a universal response. Otherwise I

994
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to navigate life. But it is a

995
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:51,719
Speaker 1: good question because you know, look, even if and I

996
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 1: had to realize this that but Craig, even if one

997
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,239
Speaker 1: in every twenty people says you're intimidating, and it was

998
00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:00,840
Speaker 1: probably more than that at a time, was probably not

999
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,919
Speaker 1: in five or ten, I don't know. And even if

1000
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 1: I did not want to be timidating intimidating, which I didn't,

1001
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:12,960
Speaker 1: and yeah, I am a fucking softy. I'm I love people.

1002
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 1: I want to help people and serve people, and I'm intense.

1003
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:23,720
Speaker 1: I'm intense and I'm passionate. But never in a million

1004
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:27,520
Speaker 1: years has it been on my goal is to be intimidating.

1005
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:30,799
Speaker 1: But I think it's a little bit of both intimidating.

1006
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 3: I think That's where I'm coming from, is that I

1007
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 3: don't think you are intimidating. I think I think that

1008
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 3: people find it intimidating that you come across as very

1009
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:40,840
Speaker 3: self assured.

1010
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:46,879
Speaker 1: Probably look and I mean, but also look, I think

1011
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:49,439
Speaker 1: what I think. I say, this is what I think,

1012
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 1: but I could be wrong. Who says that? And I

1013
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 1: go by the way, I get more things wrong than right,

1014
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:58,360
Speaker 1: you know, And that's like. The thing is being in

1015
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,320
Speaker 1: a position like I am, which not that I'm anybody special,

1016
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:03,839
Speaker 1: but where I have thousands of people every day listen

1017
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:07,240
Speaker 1: to what I say. For me, It's an absolute privilege

1018
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:09,840
Speaker 1: and an honor right. But I also want to be

1019
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:13,479
Speaker 1: the real, raw, honest me, not the fucking the Craig Show.

1020
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 1: And I can do. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the

1021
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 1: You Projector's harps. Today we're chatting with Renee. Yeah, come

1022
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,759
Speaker 1: at you live from Florida. It's five pass Yeah, coming up.

1023
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 1: I can do the bullshit because I did twenty years

1024
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:29,400
Speaker 1: of radio and even then it wasn't bullshit. But people don't,

1025
00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:32,200
Speaker 1: you know. I just have to accept that some people

1026
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:34,520
Speaker 1: will be inspired by me, some people will think I'm

1027
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:38,720
Speaker 1: a fucking idiot, some people will be a bit intimidated.

1028
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:42,720
Speaker 1: I try to move through life with an awareness bigger

1029
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 1: than me. You know, theory of mind that I've spoken

1030
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 1: to you about, understanding how other people think and see.

1031
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:53,359
Speaker 1: But if I am constantly overthinking, am I am I?

1032
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 1: Does this person like me? Am I scaring the shit

1033
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:58,720
Speaker 1: out of them? Am I intimidating? How do they feel

1034
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: about me? And if I'm constantly doing that, then I'm

1035
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:05,759
Speaker 1: not being present. So I'm well aware that, you know,

1036
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,160
Speaker 1: the only person who sees me like me is me,

1037
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:10,880
Speaker 1: and I'm well aware that my version of me is

1038
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:14,920
Speaker 1: no one else's. You know. When I was at UNI

1039
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 1: first time, a guy called doctor Paul Callery, who played

1040
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 1: footy for Richmond and Saint Kilda. He was ahead of

1041
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 1: head of school for me, and he said to me,

1042
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 1: he said, if you never want yeah, if you never

1043
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:34,200
Speaker 1: want to offend anyone, he said, say nothing, do nothing,

1044
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 1: be nothing, and stand for nothing. And I always remembered it.

1045
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:42,359
Speaker 1: He's like, because some people, you know, like I know,

1046
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:47,240
Speaker 1: sometimes I'm a lot. I'm a lot. But at least

1047
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 1: with me, you know where you stand, you know, and

1048
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 1: I you know. But yeah, thanks for the question. I

1049
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:57,719
Speaker 1: try not to be but it is an interesting thing

1050
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:01,320
Speaker 1: and I find just an add on to that question.

1051
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:06,000
Speaker 1: And this chat is when people say you make me

1052
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 1: feel like this, I go, am I in charge of

1053
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:13,720
Speaker 1: your feelings? Now? Am I in charge of your Oh? Wow? Wow?

1054
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 1: I'm somehow in charge of your No, I don't make

1055
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:20,320
Speaker 1: you feel like that. You feel like that, because if

1056
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:23,800
Speaker 1: I was in charge of how everyone feels, I'd make

1057
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:31,080
Speaker 1: everyone feel happy, you know, Hey, it's been really nice.

1058
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 1: We should do it again, and I'm looking forward to

1059
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,040
Speaker 1: coming to the States in twenty twenty five. I don't

1060
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:38,440
Speaker 1: know what that's going to look like, but you and

1061
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 1: I am maybe going to do a one day or

1062
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 1: a two days something. They'll go, who the fuck is

1063
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 1: that old preck over there next to that young hot

1064
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 1: elite athlete. But anyway, we'll figure something out.

1065
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:52,919
Speaker 2: We'll have some fun persently.

1066
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,760
Speaker 1: We definitely will. Hey, if people want to find you,

1067
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:59,360
Speaker 1: connect with you, you know, learn a little bit more

1068
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:00,520
Speaker 1: about you. How to they do that?

1069
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 3: You can just find me on Instagram at Renee angles

1070
00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:07,280
Speaker 3: or Renee angles dot com is my website as well.

1071
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 2: But yeah, usually Instagram is probably.

1072
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 3: The place, the easiest place in this landscape, isn't it.

1073
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 3: It's what people do these days, young people.

1074
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 1: I think it is. I think it is. Or just

1075
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 1: send a pigeon with a bloody message in its beak. Hey,

1076
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,240
Speaker 1: I will say goodbye fair, but for now, nay, thank

1077
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:28,880
Speaker 1: you so much, love your guts, You're amazing. Congrats on

1078
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:33,040
Speaker 1: everything you're doing. You're an inspiration and you are a

1079
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 1: creative You know what are creative because apart from other things,

1080
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:40,120
Speaker 1: you're always solving problems, and that's a creative process.

1081
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Speaker 2: I appreciate that. Thank you. It's been good