WEBVTT - Mummy, Can You Put Your Phone Down? 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.679 And then halfa looked at me and said to me, mummy, 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:05.600 can you put your phone down? And hearing that from 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:08.879 probably a six year old, if that doesn't wake you up, 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:10.800 nothing will. And that was the day I decided I 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:14.240 needed some rules because this is just not on. Hello guys, 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:16.239 and welcome back to Stepping Up. I hope you are 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:18.680 having an amazing day or night or whatever tom of 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:19.799 day is that you're listening. 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:23.040 I feel like with this episode. 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:27.320 I look when I click on episodes or YouTube videos 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:29.639 or anything to do with like phone and technology, I 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:32.200 always feel a little bit judged, like low key feel 0:00:32.200 --> 0:00:35.319 a bit judged because I have no self control when 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:38.360 it comes to technology because it's dopamine and it's nice 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:40.760 and I love to have a good scroll. So before 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:42.600 we get into it, and obviously you can see by 0:00:42.680 --> 0:00:45.239 the title of this episode, it's like the rules that 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:47.479 I live by with my phone because it honestly was 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:50.600 ruining my life, my attention span, so many other things, 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:53.000 even my mental health. So before we get into it, 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:55.000 I want you to know this is a judge free zone. 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:58.080 We listen, we don't judge here. And I made these 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:02.160 rules because I love scrolling till it's two o'clock in 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:05.480 the morning. Future me hates it, but I'm this person, 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.840 so this is not me preaching or whatever. Like you 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:11.880 if some things that you love from this episode, you implement, 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:15.040 go for it. But this is just there's no judgment here. Okay, 0:01:15.080 --> 0:01:17.959 there's no judgment. But I'm so excited to be back 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:20.240 in your ears today because oh there's just so much 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:22.520 been going on in my life as well. Like before 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:25.240 I get into this episode, but you know, Harper recently 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:29.520 turned ten, which is insane because she's ten and I 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:31.720 should still be twenty five but I'm not. But anyway, 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:33.720 and it just goes so fast, and I know it 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:37.160 sounds like so cliche, but it's hard to see them, 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:40.600 you know, as I get older and how fast. 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:40.960 The time goes. 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:43.080 And then you tend to feel a lot of guilt 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:45.560 because like for me, you know, obviously, like all of us, 0:01:45.680 --> 0:01:49.040 life's going so fast and before we know it, it's 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:52.320 another year has gone. And you know, I had myself, 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:55.320 I was questioning, like I was watching her just she's 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:56.480 so clever and. 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:58.520 I just love her obviously, I love it so much. 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:02.280 She goes all right, you know, but it made me think, 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:05.279 like have I been present enough? Have I been present 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:09.720 enough as a mother in my own life? And again 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:11.799 this does tie with the phone, because a lot of 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:14.880 our time does go to that. But you know, I 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:17.400 planned this really cool sleepover before. It was like a 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:20.160 little pampa party. There's tps like you know, those cool 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:23.680 pinterest looking things. So with our girls, we don't really 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:26.080 like we don't really let them have like a big 0:02:26.120 --> 0:02:26.919 party every year. 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:27.440 Every year. 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:29.880 It's like they will have it for certain things. So 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:31.360 when they turn five, they had a bit of a 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:34.240 bigger one and then yes, so it was like double 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:36.680 digits is a big deal. Guys, like it's double digits, 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:37.840 so she needs to have it. She had to have 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:40.720 a bit of a soiree, so that's why we let 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:42.520 her have that. Otherwise it could be just like a 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:44.960 park date. Although I'll have friends come over. But we 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:47.919 don't tend to do yet big birthday parties every year, 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:50.720 that's just what we do. But for this I wanted 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:52.160 to do a little bit special, so we had the 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:54.840 little pampa party. They all got little eye masks. It 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:57.720 was really really nice and of course she asked me 0:02:57.760 --> 0:03:00.440 if she could have a phone, to which I also 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:00.919 said no. 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:01.880 So my girls. 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:04.800 I'm people a bit surprised by this, but I'm really 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:06.280 strict with the girls in tech. 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:08.000 And it's not because I judge other people. 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:10.320 Like you know, if your kid watches YouTube and all 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:13.520 the things every day, like that's awesome, Like you whatever 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:15.160 works for you and your kid, you do that. But 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:18.960 my girls, it's like the ipaddle like whatever, it turns 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:22.160 it to crack, like they just they can't get off 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:24.800 of it and it just changes their personality. 0:03:24.960 --> 0:03:27.480 Love them dearly, but I just couldn't deal with it. 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:30.040 And I also like for me being I've been on 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:32.680 social media for like over ten years now, and I 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:34.720 know how much it really affects my mental health. So 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:36.560 I'm like, it's the longer I can protect my kids 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:40.000 from that. And just like you know, like the things 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:42.520 that can be put on kids YouTube and stuff like, 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:45.680 it doesn't always it's not always kid friendly. And I 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:48.480 really believe that, you know, looking at the kids now 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:51.040 these days, they didn't go through the awkward phase that 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:55.880 we did. Like we we didn't have TikTok tutorials to 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.000 show us how to do makeup, like we wore mabeling 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:00.440 moose and I had no eyebrows. I don't know how 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:03.000 they came back, Like thank goodness for the eyebrow gods 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:05.320 that they grew back, but you know, they need to 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:07.240 do their time of looking awkward as well. 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:08.080 I don't think it's fair. 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:11.080 And I do believe like kids are acting older, like 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:14.160 you know, you know, even kids younger than harp are 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:16.240 like they want to wear skincare and stuff, which is cute, 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:19.800 like yes, but it's like it just makes me a 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:21.880 bit sad because I feel like for us growing up, 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:24.839 you know, on TV, there was a certain channel like 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:27.359 ABC where you know you tune in and heavy cartoons 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:30.160 and that was like the kid time and then we'll. 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:31.200 Go back to the adult shows. 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:33.440 And as I say, there was like remember like the 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:35.960 k Zone magazine and there's like kids magazine, and then 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:37.800 there was like Dolly Doctor that really saved us a 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:40.440 little bit as teenagers, and everything kind of was in 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:43.640 their age group. But now because there's like YouTube and 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:46.720 social media, there's no like everything's mixed together, so our 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:50.240 kids are not like learning things that are knowing about 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:52.440 things that maybe they shouldn't at their age, and that's 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:53.480 what kind of worries me. 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:55.159 Anyway, Sorry, I digress. 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:57.280 So Harpa wanted a phone, said no again for the 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:00.160 million of time, which is literally brings me on to 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:01.040 today's episode. 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:01.479 Sometime. 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:03.159 I want to try and make this episode. I know 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:05.080 I can talk a lot, so some of my episodes 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:07.000 are about forty minutes, so let me know if you 0:05:07.040 --> 0:05:09.200 guys are happy with the length of it. I kind 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:11.440 of just talk until I'm like, Okay, that's enough stuff. 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:13.440 You need to put the mic away. So I want 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:15.080 to try and make today's one a little bit snappier, 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:17.599 but also it probably won't be. Let's be honest here, 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:20.440 So today I want to talk about my phone and 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:23.600 the weird little rules I have that really has helped 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:26.200 me with it. Because you know, I am going to 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:28.000 hit you with some numbers first up, which are going 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:30.880 to be a little bit confronting because it was for 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:32.640 me as well. But I think this is going to 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:35.480 help you maybe want to change a couple of things 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.000 if you want to, Can you tell them my people 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:39.359 please are please don't hate me. 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:42.880 So the average. 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:45.720 Person picks up their phone ninety six times a day, 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:48.880 and I'm pretty sure mind for Instagram was more than that. 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:53.520 Just saying that's once every ten minutes, you're awake. And 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:55.680 we spend roughly four hour and a half hours on 0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:58.520 our phones a day, and that is over a year, 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:01.680 that's sixty seven full day staring at a screen. And 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:03.840 I can tell you right now my screen time it 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:07.640 was double that, and it's still very high. So when 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:10.360 you think about that in years, I've actually done this 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:13.559 on an old episode. I actually calculated that I'm pretty 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:15.000 sure it took up like nearly half my life. 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:17.159 It was terrifying, if not more. 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:20.640 So, even if you want to like really scare yourself, 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:23.760 go on your screen time and calculate if you keep 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:26.520 continuing that over a year, how many days that is, 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:27.760 and then over a lifetime. 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:30.560 That's a little wake up call for us. 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:33.240 And so there was a study from the University of 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.720 Texas that found that having your phone on a desk, 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:40.200 even face down and even turned off, reduces your cognitive capacity, 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:42.960 which is your brain spending energy not looking at it. 0:06:43.200 --> 0:06:46.680 So it's like your phone just being in the vicinity 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:52.880 is draining your brain just by being there because you're 0:06:52.920 --> 0:06:54.480 trying to actively not pick it up. 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:56.440 Like I can't tell you how many times, I don't know. 0:06:56.400 --> 0:06:58.200 If this has probably happened to you guys, got my 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:01.520 phone's diet, and I will forget it's died, and I'll 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:03.320 try and look at it constantly, and I'm like, call 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:06.160 it crap. I just it's such a habit that is 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:09.480 just so ingrained in our brains. And obviously for people 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:12.160 with ADHD, our brain's very low on dopamine and the 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:15.040 phone gives us a really good dump of dopamine, so 0:07:15.240 --> 0:07:17.400 it's even more addictive. So this is why we're going 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:19.440 to have these little rules. If that you like them, 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:23.360 take them on and see if they help. So it's 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:27.520 no secret that I have ADHD and my brain has 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:30.920 no off switch, and my phone is designed to exploit that. 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:35.800 Like apps socials, they're literally designed to keep our attention, 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:39.080 because attention is the biggest currency. It's the greatest currency, 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:43.920 especially right now that businesses and that have so they 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:46.080 want to keep us on the apps as long as possible. 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:48.960 So when you realize that number one, you can stop 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:51.920 blaming yourself and feeling like a piece of shit because 0:07:51.920 --> 0:07:54.880 it's not your fault. It's the phone's fault because it 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:58.800 likes it's literally they're using science to design these apps 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:01.400 to keep it yes with dopamine, so we will not 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:05.160 get off our phone. So I made rules, and this 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.400 was because I started realizing over time how much my 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:11.600 phone was affecting my mental health. And there was one 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:13.880 day in particular, this was a couple of years ago 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:16.680 now pro aw years ago now, even where I was 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:19.680 sitting on the couch scrolling on my phone and Harper 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:22.200 was obviously trying to get my attention and I didn't 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:22.640 even hear. 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:25.000 He did not even hear, which is sad. It was 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:25.840 really freaking sad. 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:29.120 And then Harper looked at me and said to me, mummy, 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:31.960 can you put your phone down? And hearing that from 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:35.240 probably a six year old, if that doesn't wake you up, 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:37.679 nothing will. And that was the day I decided I 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:39.440 needed some rules because this is just not on. 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:40.160 And now when I. 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:43.480 Say these rules, like I some of these have changed, 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:46.480 some of these are newer, and yes, I fall off 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:48.880 with these like a fall off the bandwagon, even though 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:49.880 there is no bandwagon. 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:51.000 I fall off with these. 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:54.160 But these are the rules that even if I am 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:57.120 doing a few of these, it will It reduces my 0:08:57.120 --> 0:08:59.240 screen time so much, and it really does help my 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:03.680 mental health because our brain, so when your phone dings 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:07.760 or you see a notification, your brain actually thinks you're 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:09.600 being chased by like a bear. 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:11.320 Like we have a quartersole spike. 0:09:11.520 --> 0:09:13.880 You get the adrenaline rush, which kind of feels good, 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:16.839 but our brain doesn't know that, like you're not actually 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:20.280 in a stressful situation. So getting that constantly all day, 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:24.120 think about what that's doing to us, even like our hormones. 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:26.199 Like you, I actually don't want to know that what 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:28.520 that would be doing to our hormones and things like that. 0:09:29.040 --> 0:09:31.600 So just have a little thing about how it's not 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:35.400 only you know, distracting, but it also is you know, 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:38.880 changing us at a chemical level as well. So rule 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:42.720 number one, this is about social media. Of course, social 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:46.280 media lives on page three. So you know, with iPhones 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:48.720 you can customize your home screen. So I had, you know, 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:51.080 the very bar at the bottom you usually have text, 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:54.600 phone call things like that. I had Instagram in that bar, 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:57.440 so it was always there, so no matter what page 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:01.720 I was on, I could still act access Instagram. Now 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:03.880 what I did because when I looked at my screen 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.760 time I went to Instagram and it was like an 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.920 offensive number of hours I was on Instagram, So I. 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:11.680 Was like, no, no, no, this is not on. So 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:13.160 what I did again. 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:15.920 I talked about an episode before saying we'd systems that 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:18.320 work for my ADHD brain, and one of the tips 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:20.959 in there said, if anything is more than two steps, 0:10:21.240 --> 0:10:23.360 redesign it. I'm going to say the opposite when it 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:26.680 comes to your phone, like, if it's less than two 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:29.320 steps or three steps, increase the amount of steps. So 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:34.160 this means it's not as accessible. I don't want it 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:37.600 to always be on my home page because I will 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:39.960 click on the app. Like how many times do you 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:41.800 go into your phone to do something and you end 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:44.240 up just on TikTok or Instagram and you're like, I 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:45.000 didn't even want to. 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:47.240 Be here, like this is not where I puck my car. 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:50.480 So what we do is we move your Instagram or 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:53.880 social media apps especially, take it out of that bottom 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:57.040 bar and put it on page three, because not only 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:58.880 are you not able to access it as quickly, you 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:02.360 have to actively unlock your phone and then scroll at 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:05.200 least three times. I feel really cool, do it on 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:07.959 page six if there is a page six on your phone. 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:11.200 So the more steps, the more resistance, and the less 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:13.199 likely you are to want to just go on there. 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:14.760 And it's not going to become a habit. And a 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:17.000 really good thing to do. Like to do also with 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.000 this is once your brain's used to it being on 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:23.760 page three, move it, move it again, because it's going 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:25.760 to like your brain will get used to going to 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:28.040 that spot. So the more you can kind of mix 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:30.920 it up, the better. And like in science they actually 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:34.960 call this friction design. So research at Stanford's Technology Lab 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.720 found that every additional step between you and an action 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:40.000 reduces the chance you'll do it by twenty percent. 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:43.360 So bad for good habits. So we want to put 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:44.640 your gym clothes out and all the things. 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:48.079 But for bad habits, let's put extra steps in the way, 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:52.800 even if we have to put objects between me and like, bloody, 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:55.520 what is it kmart? Let's put all these objects in 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:57.320 the way so I don't go there anymore. So just 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:02.280 increase your steps. Leads me onto my phone. Rule number two, 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:05.840 which is gray scale mode after seven pm. Now, if 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:08.120 you didn't know this, your phone can go into gray 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.920 scale mode, which means it's essentially like a black and 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:13.960 white television, which is really shit for our dopamine. 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:14.840 It's not very exciting. 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:20.320 You'd be surprised how much color and design our brain 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:21.080 really likes. 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:24.280 That it's aesthetic. It makes it like very interesting. 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:27.200 That's why we do love, you know, social media, because 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:28.080 we don't know what's next. 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:28.640 We don't know what. 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:30.199 Colors are going to be on the screen. And I 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:33.520 love carousel posts on Instagram. I love the design. I 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:35.400 love mixing up that stuff like it's really fun. So 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:39.040 my brain loves that. So after seven PM, my phone 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:40.800 will go into gray scale mode, which I'll tell you 0:12:40.840 --> 0:12:41.600 how to do it as well. 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:43.800 This is for iPhones though, so if you're on something else, 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:44.320 I'm sorry. 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:48.800 Color is designed to keep you scrolling, and Instagram in 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:52.040 grays scale is super boring. You don't get to see 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:54.559 the cute outfits, like what color is her dress? What 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:55.680 color is that cutevars she. 0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:56.439 Got from Kmart? 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:58.400 I gotta stop talking about Kmart, you know what I mean. 0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:01.000 Like it's just not as excited. It's kind of like 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:03.360 eating a cold piece of toast. 0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:04.880 It sucks. 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:08.880 And the signs behind this is because color activates the 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:12.600 ventral stratium anyway, I want to say that again. And 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.560 there is science behind this because color rewards the part 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:18.880 of our brain that is like the rewards center. So 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:23.560 red notification badges specifically trigger urgency responses. So that's why 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:27.800 when you think about like fire alarm, the notifications anything 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:31.200 like they warning danger, our brain knows that that color 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:35.240 is important and app designers know this as well. 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:36.599 So every color choice. 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:39.400 On your phone is super intentional again to keep your attention, 0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:44.160 and so grayscale disables the reward loop that you're getting, 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.079 which is also going to be helpful because in a 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:48.480 couple of hours you should be going to sleep technically, 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:53.080 and this gray scale thing actually was studied and they 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:57.240 said people that switched to grayscale reduced daily screen time 0:13:57.440 --> 0:14:00.200 by an average of thirty seven minutes without even trying, 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:02.280 because the phone just became boring. 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:04.600 So even if you want to, you could do it. 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:06.920 If you really want to, just step this up a notch, 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.120 turn your phone on grayscale all the time. 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:11.760 So how to set this up on your iPhone? 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:13.640 So you're gonna go to your settings, then go to 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:18.319 accessibility and then accessibility Shortcut and then click on color filters. 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:22.200 Then triple click your side button to toggle grayscale on 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:24.560 and off. You can also automate it, so go into 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:27.400 the shortcuts app and then go to automation time of 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:29.760 day and then choose your time, so seven PM or 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:32.200 whichever time you'd like, and then click. 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:33.160 Set color filters on. 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:36.480 And this is just going to make sure that you 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:39.760 also don't have to remember to do it, which we 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:43.239 know is not my forte, so put it on automatically. 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:45.720 I even have a shortcut as well that turns my 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:49.560 screen brightness right down. And I also have it on 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:52.400 like the night mode thing, so it hasn't got the 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:55.000 blue light because as we know, blue light makes your 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:57.640 brain think it's daytime. And that is why we can 0:14:57.640 --> 0:14:59.920 scroll two o'clock in the morning because our brain think 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:01.800 it's in the middle of the day because we have 0:15:02.040 --> 0:15:06.560 this light blaring in our eyeballs into our Retta's keeping 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:10.480 us awake. Now moving on it to rule number three 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:14.120 is every alarm has a name. Now as you remember 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:17.560 on the eight weird rule sorry, and as you guys 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.720 remember from the eight Weird systems for my ADHD, this 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:24.000 is something similar that I talked about there. So every 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:27.440 alarm has a name because because I need my phone 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:30.200 to talk to me like a passive aggressive assistant, otherwise 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:32.160 I'll be like why did I set this alarm? And 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:35.040 as you guys know, I have alarms for starting the 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:38.600 process of leaving for an appointment. So I'll have an 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:41.880 alarm to say get dressed. I'll have an alarm to 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:44.040 say eat, blah blah blah. Because when you think about it, 0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:47.200 if you just have an alarm for the appointment, you're 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:49.520 gonna be late. So for me, there's now or not now, 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:51.320 and if it's not now, it's not my problem until 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:54.560 it is now. I need to prep myself to get 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:56.800 to the appointment. I need to maybe shower, I need 0:15:56.840 --> 0:15:59.000 to eat, I need to get dressed. So those are 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:03.400 alarms that have names. So if we don't put names, 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:04.800 like you kind of just want to be told what 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:08.480 to do, you really do Like as humans, we need 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:10.560 to have the visual cues in our face. And this 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:14.920 even comes down to labeling our alarms, so they will 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:18.760 literally say things like wake up, actually, get up, shoes on, 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.040 leave now, or you are late, Like it literally is 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:24.880 very passive aggressive my phone. And this is why, like 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:27.720 because of time blindness, which if you guys don't realize 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:30.360 what that is, it's just like we like certain people 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.880 don't have a great sense of time. I have no 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:37.800 sense of time. So time blindness is tricky for everything 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:39.600 in our lives. And that's why we're late to everything. 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:39.920 Now. 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:44.560 Five minutes and five hours feel the same to me 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:46.600 and to a lot of people with ADHD. 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:49.840 So research actually shows eighty HD. 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:53.720 Adults underestimate time by forty to sixty percent. I would 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:57.080 say one hundred percent. But anyway, so if you think 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:59.920 you have twenty minutes, you probably have eight. So Thatt's 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:03.600 these alarms. Now, that's why unnamed alarms don't work, because 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:05.920 seven point thirty means nothing to our brain. 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:07.119 I'm just like cool. 0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:09.639 But if you so say you want to get up, 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:12.119 like you need to get up early for something important, 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:15.080 you need to label it like you don't wake up, 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:18.879 you have to go to school pick up in twenty 0:17:18.920 --> 0:17:20.600 minutes or something like. It could be very long, or 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:22.959 it could just be like this is why, because then 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:25.080 you've got the reasoning behind it. It's not just wake up, 0:17:25.200 --> 0:17:30.120 it's wake up XYZN and then you will remember straight 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:32.600 away why this is urgent and why this is important. 0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:34.520 And we work really well under pressure. But if it's 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:37.040 just an alarm that says six o'clock in the morning, 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:40.720 there's no emotional tie. There's no pressure to that well 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:44.480 for me anyway. So naming your alarms is key, and 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:48.040 this also comes down to like alarms to stop working. 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:51.240 So for me school pick up, I'm in the zone, 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:52.720 not always, but I'm in the zone. 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.600 And for me to like really have a hard stop, 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:58.560 I kind of struggle because my alarm will go off 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:00.159 and I'll still keep going. I want to finish what 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:03.640