1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:07,281 Speaker 1: Apogae production. 2 00:00:10,121 --> 00:00:13,521 Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the 3 00:00:13,601 --> 00:00:16,401 Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects 4 00:00:16,481 --> 00:00:19,641 Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect 5 00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:22,881 Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. 6 00:00:25,081 --> 00:00:28,641 Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. 7 00:00:28,961 --> 00:00:31,321 Speaker 3: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level 8 00:00:31,401 --> 00:00:31,841 Speaker 3: up together. 9 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,641 Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, and find the 10 00:00:34,721 --> 00:00:37,481 Speaker 1: lessons to Grow and Glow. Nothing is off the table 11 00:00:37,521 --> 00:00:39,881 Speaker 1: with Grow and Glow, and we're here to be your expander. 12 00:00:43,801 --> 00:00:46,841 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, welcome back to Grow and Glow. I had 13 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:50,321 Speaker 1: my brain surgery finally, so stoked to be out the 14 00:00:50,361 --> 00:00:53,321 Speaker 1: other side of it. Now, before we get started on 15 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,721 Speaker 1: this episode, what's your share of the week? 16 00:00:58,281 --> 00:01:00,001 Speaker 3: My share of the week. I feel like you're probably 17 00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:01,921 Speaker 3: going to share it too, because I saw you're also 18 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:07,441 Speaker 3: watching the same thing. The Inspired and I were laughing 19 00:01:07,521 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 3: like you, Like we were literally cackling. 20 00:01:10,041 --> 00:01:11,041 Speaker 1: Why are they so funny? 21 00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 3: They are so funny? So it's on Paramount Plus or 22 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,721 Speaker 3: Apple well Apple, Oh my goodness, but this season's way 23 00:01:17,721 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 3: better than the first one. I feel like you yeah, 24 00:01:19,881 --> 00:01:21,481 Speaker 3: I feel like the first one they were just kind 25 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 3: of getting started and this one has just been watching. 26 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,481 Speaker 3: Both worth watching, but this one's been like next level 27 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 3: funny and they're acting like they're not laughing and keeping 28 00:01:30,241 --> 00:01:32,281 Speaker 3: the straight faces. I'm like, they're so. 29 00:01:32,161 --> 00:01:34,241 Speaker 1: Good if you want a belly laugh or just like 30 00:01:34,321 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: a fun show for you on your partner. 31 00:01:35,681 --> 00:01:39,401 Speaker 3: It's best, honestly, Like even some bits and pieces like 32 00:01:39,401 --> 00:01:41,481 Speaker 3: we showed the kids that were appropriate for them and 33 00:01:41,521 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 3: they thought it was so funny, like when they knew 34 00:01:43,241 --> 00:01:46,321 Speaker 3: what was going on. Oh, it's just absolutely. 35 00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:49,681 Speaker 1: There's another one on YouTube called Misfit Minds, but they're 36 00:01:49,721 --> 00:01:52,041 Speaker 1: just not as funny, and I feel like they're really 37 00:01:52,041 --> 00:01:54,561 Speaker 1: funny at the start and now I'm like, ah, like giggle, 38 00:01:54,641 --> 00:01:57,041 Speaker 1: but this one was like full high oh gosh. 39 00:01:56,801 --> 00:01:58,441 Speaker 3: And I think too because they're Aussie, like they've got 40 00:01:58,441 --> 00:02:00,721 Speaker 3: our sense of humor. So when you watch, like you 41 00:02:00,881 --> 00:02:01,801 Speaker 3: just it's. 42 00:02:01,761 --> 00:02:05,921 Speaker 1: Just classic classics. Such a good one. My Share of 43 00:02:05,921 --> 00:02:08,561 Speaker 1: the Week was just something that I listened to and 44 00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:12,081 Speaker 1: it was like, sometimes we can catch ourselves complaining about 45 00:02:12,121 --> 00:02:14,481 Speaker 1: things that we have in our current life, but if 46 00:02:14,481 --> 00:02:16,721 Speaker 1: you're rewind a year ago or five years ago, like 47 00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: your past self would have dreamt to be where you 48 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,161 Speaker 1: are right now and just would have been so stoked 49 00:02:22,201 --> 00:02:24,161 Speaker 1: and so lucky to have the opportionites that you have 50 00:02:24,321 --> 00:02:25,721 Speaker 1: to have, the life style that you have, the people 51 00:02:25,761 --> 00:02:28,081 Speaker 1: around you that have like and yes, things can still 52 00:02:28,121 --> 00:02:30,521 Speaker 1: annoy you and you cannot enjoy every moment. That's totally 53 00:02:30,561 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: a part of life. But I caught myself the other 54 00:02:32,841 --> 00:02:34,721 Speaker 1: day just like I was complaining about something and I 55 00:02:34,761 --> 00:02:37,561 Speaker 1: was like, uh uh, we're not going there because past 56 00:02:37,601 --> 00:02:40,321 Speaker 1: as she would have loved this to be a problem, 57 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:42,801 Speaker 1: Like this is a good problem to have, So true, 58 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,041 Speaker 1: So just catch yourself and be like, hang on, And 59 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:48,240 Speaker 1: I think it can just help you get out of victim, 60 00:02:48,321 --> 00:02:50,481 Speaker 1: get out of focusing what you don't have, and put 61 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,361 Speaker 1: yourself in a higher state to be grateful for what 62 00:02:52,361 --> 00:02:54,561 Speaker 1: you do have and the life that you've created. And 63 00:02:54,601 --> 00:02:58,681 Speaker 1: if you're not, also your past decisions have landed you 64 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,361 Speaker 1: where you are now. If you don't want this to 65 00:03:00,401 --> 00:03:02,281 Speaker 1: be your life, then you have to change. You have 66 00:03:02,321 --> 00:03:05,041 Speaker 1: to create the change, be the change, make different choices. 67 00:03:05,481 --> 00:03:06,161 Speaker 1: That's up to you. 68 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:08,921 Speaker 3: So that's a really cool way to think about it. 69 00:03:08,921 --> 00:03:11,001 Speaker 3: I love that what would have passed me thought about 70 00:03:11,041 --> 00:03:11,521 Speaker 3: this problem. 71 00:03:11,601 --> 00:03:14,081 Speaker 1: Be stoked. Yeah, past me would have been so stoked. 72 00:03:14,201 --> 00:03:15,921 Speaker 1: We're going through it with Hideaway at the moment, like 73 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,561 Speaker 1: Hideaway's just doing so so well, like absolutely popping off. 74 00:03:19,561 --> 00:03:21,481 Speaker 1: It's the most successful we've been in our whole time 75 00:03:21,481 --> 00:03:23,481 Speaker 1: of hard haidway, which is really cool because it's worked 76 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,520 Speaker 1: really hard. But we just cannot keep up with the orders. 77 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,761 Speaker 1: And the first problem was we had a shipment delay 78 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,121 Speaker 1: in the actual perfume bottles and a lot of our packaging. 79 00:03:31,201 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 1: So it's like that's totally out of our hands. Now 80 00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:36,201 Speaker 1: we've got them. It's just like we're actually hiring more stuff, 81 00:03:36,241 --> 00:03:38,441 Speaker 1: they're working longer hours, they're doing weekend work, Like we 82 00:03:38,481 --> 00:03:41,201 Speaker 1: just can't kick up. Was it's so busy, Yeah, Steve 83 00:03:41,241 --> 00:03:43,281 Speaker 1: sometimes like, oh, that's really stress because obviously you don't 84 00:03:43,281 --> 00:03:45,281 Speaker 1: want our customs being upset. But I said to him, Babe, 85 00:03:45,321 --> 00:03:47,681 Speaker 1: this is a great problem to have, Like, Yeah, how 86 00:03:47,681 --> 00:03:49,721 Speaker 1: amazing all this hard work that you've put in over 87 00:03:49,761 --> 00:03:52,321 Speaker 1: the years, all the times where it's been so fucking hard, 88 00:03:52,321 --> 00:03:54,361 Speaker 1: where we've had the dips and business, because that is 89 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: normal as well, that you've tried to navigate things, things 90 00:03:57,201 --> 00:04:00,081 Speaker 1: have gone wrong, things aren't selling or whatever, like this 91 00:04:00,161 --> 00:04:02,281 Speaker 1: is a good problem. You've done really well. Like past 92 00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:04,881 Speaker 1: Steven past Ashley would have dreamt of being a problem. 93 00:04:04,881 --> 00:04:06,481 Speaker 1: That that's the problem. You can't keep up with a 94 00:04:06,481 --> 00:04:08,001 Speaker 1: lot of It's so true, you know what I mean, 95 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:11,521 Speaker 1: just changing the perspective. I love that. Yeah, So a 96 00:04:11,521 --> 00:04:15,441 Speaker 1: little background story if you missed what happened earlier in 97 00:04:15,441 --> 00:04:17,641 Speaker 1: the year. I lost my sight three times in a week. 98 00:04:17,681 --> 00:04:19,001 Speaker 1: I went to the doctor, he sent me trag to 99 00:04:19,081 --> 00:04:21,721 Speaker 1: the hospital. They did a CT scan and they found 100 00:04:21,801 --> 00:04:24,361 Speaker 1: a brain aneurysm, which was the last news I ever 101 00:04:24,401 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 1: expected to hear in my life. Although when I say 102 00:04:26,761 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: that out loud, I'm like, it's not that unexpected because 103 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,321 Speaker 1: on my father's side of the family, we've lost so 104 00:04:32,361 --> 00:04:34,721 Speaker 1: many family members not knowing they had one, and then 105 00:04:34,721 --> 00:04:36,681 Speaker 1: we have family members have them and it have them 106 00:04:36,721 --> 00:04:39,321 Speaker 1: being monitored. But just because Steve's had one when he 107 00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:41,921 Speaker 1: was younger, I was like, oh my gosh, so found 108 00:04:41,921 --> 00:04:44,841 Speaker 1: that out. Booked in a surgery date and myself up 109 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: mentally prepared, went into the hospital, fasted when on blood thinners, 110 00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:51,241 Speaker 1: stayed the night, went to get wheeled into surgery, got delayed, 111 00:04:51,561 --> 00:04:53,881 Speaker 1: and then later that afternoon they canceled the surgery, so 112 00:04:53,921 --> 00:04:56,281 Speaker 1: had to go home get a new date. I was 113 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:59,041 Speaker 1: honestly expecting it to be canceled again, so I was like, 114 00:04:59,601 --> 00:05:01,561 Speaker 1: not nervous to go on for surgery, more nervous I 115 00:05:01,561 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: was going to go in and be canceled. Okay, But 116 00:05:04,401 --> 00:05:06,921 Speaker 1: I went there, got checked in, have my own room, 117 00:05:06,921 --> 00:05:09,001 Speaker 1: which was really nice, got as much sleep as I could. 118 00:05:09,041 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 1: I work up at two am the day of the surgery, 119 00:05:11,241 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: I think, just because I knew it was coming up. 120 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,281 Speaker 1: And then Steven Tage came in the morning and I 121 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:16,721 Speaker 1: got to have some cuddles and they got to send 122 00:05:16,721 --> 00:05:20,001 Speaker 1: me off, and then they put the canula in my arm. 123 00:05:20,041 --> 00:05:21,801 Speaker 1: They'd take all my blood, just kind of prepped me 124 00:05:21,841 --> 00:05:23,281 Speaker 1: with what's going on. Tell me, I'm gonna have a 125 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: catho to put in. Surgeries anywhere from an hour to 126 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,401 Speaker 1: an hour and a half. The most common question now 127 00:05:28,521 --> 00:05:30,681 Speaker 1: post surgery is like, why didn't they shave your hair? 128 00:05:31,001 --> 00:05:33,321 Speaker 1: But they actually go up through my wrist, which is 129 00:05:33,361 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: pretty amazing. Like I've got the tiniest little scab on 130 00:05:36,481 --> 00:05:36,801 Speaker 1: my wrist. 131 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:41,361 Speaker 3: I can't believe how small it is. It's literally like tiny, tiny, just. 132 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,481 Speaker 1: Just incredible the technology, so they. 133 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,041 Speaker 3: Can do that and do such a major like thing 134 00:05:46,481 --> 00:05:48,121 Speaker 3: and go all the way from there as well and 135 00:05:48,161 --> 00:05:49,001 Speaker 3: make it to your brain. 136 00:05:49,121 --> 00:05:50,761 Speaker 1: Yeah, and they can go to your heart as well, 137 00:05:50,801 --> 00:05:54,481 Speaker 1: which is really cool. Yeah. So yeah, I'll take you 138 00:05:54,481 --> 00:05:56,361 Speaker 1: guys through kind of the whole process because got a 139 00:05:56,401 --> 00:05:58,201 Speaker 1: lot of questions, and there's also a lot of other 140 00:05:58,201 --> 00:06:00,441 Speaker 1: people that have this surgery coming up, or they've found 141 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: out they've got an aneurysm and they're scared and so 142 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:05,681 Speaker 1: many questions. Obviously, I am not the doctor a surgeon, 143 00:06:05,761 --> 00:06:08,080 Speaker 1: so if you have any concerns with your vision or 144 00:06:08,081 --> 00:06:10,841 Speaker 1: headaches or anything, there's no harm to go and get checked. 145 00:06:11,361 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: I'm so glad that my doctor pushed me to go 146 00:06:13,601 --> 00:06:15,561 Speaker 1: get a CTS GAIN because I just wouldn't have done it. 147 00:06:15,681 --> 00:06:17,521 Speaker 1: I just would have thought it was stress and headaches 148 00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,561 Speaker 1: or my necks out, like I was trying to think 149 00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:22,441 Speaker 1: of any other reason. Yeah, So I had the surgery. 150 00:06:22,601 --> 00:06:24,521 Speaker 1: Surgery went well. Steve was there when I work out, 151 00:06:24,521 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: which is really nice. Got wheeled into ICU. You have 152 00:06:27,681 --> 00:06:30,201 Speaker 1: to be in ICU for twenty four hours post surgery 153 00:06:30,241 --> 00:06:31,840 Speaker 1: because you're not allowed to get up. You're not allowed 154 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,681 Speaker 1: to really move to have to monitor you every single hour, 155 00:06:34,841 --> 00:06:36,161 Speaker 1: come in. If you're asleep, they have to come in 156 00:06:36,201 --> 00:06:37,921 Speaker 1: to wake you up. Put bright lights in your eyes, 157 00:06:38,561 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: test the strength of both of your hands, both of 158 00:06:40,921 --> 00:06:44,121 Speaker 1: your feet, your leg strength. They have to touch beside 159 00:06:44,121 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 1: your eyes, your cheeks, your shoulders, all of your body 160 00:06:47,201 --> 00:06:48,841 Speaker 1: to make sure that you can feel everything, just to 161 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 1: make sure that your brain's functioning. Basically every single hour 162 00:06:53,081 --> 00:06:55,281 Speaker 1: for the whole like nearly twenty four hours that I 163 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:56,601 Speaker 1: was in ICY. I think it's in there for about 164 00:06:56,641 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: twenty hours. 165 00:06:57,641 --> 00:07:01,041 Speaker 3: Wow, So we rewind back a time because I know something. 166 00:07:01,041 --> 00:07:03,241 Speaker 3: When I spoke to you, you were saying how you're worried, 167 00:07:03,241 --> 00:07:05,761 Speaker 3: how you're going to feel before going under as well? 168 00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:08,801 Speaker 3: Oh so how did you feel like the night beforehand 169 00:07:09,201 --> 00:07:11,441 Speaker 3: and then the morning of like when you're getting wheeled 170 00:07:11,441 --> 00:07:14,361 Speaker 3: in that process. Because I haven't even spoke to you about. 171 00:07:15,641 --> 00:07:18,801 Speaker 1: Podcast. Yeah, sorry, I've kind of rushed through it. I 172 00:07:18,841 --> 00:07:22,521 Speaker 1: was actually very regulated going in. I felt really centered, 173 00:07:22,561 --> 00:07:26,081 Speaker 1: I felt really calm. I felt just at peace that 174 00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:28,641 Speaker 1: this is happening, and felt grateful that I get to 175 00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:31,121 Speaker 1: have the surgery and that I had so much beautiful 176 00:07:31,121 --> 00:07:33,161 Speaker 1: support around me from my family, from my friends. I 177 00:07:33,201 --> 00:07:34,801 Speaker 1: just was in a really good place, like even the 178 00:07:34,841 --> 00:07:37,321 Speaker 1: morning off I did that. You seen that coconut dance. 179 00:07:37,401 --> 00:07:39,201 Speaker 1: I was like, in my surge cook Gowd, I was 180 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:42,361 Speaker 1: like dancing. I felt really good. I didn't feel the 181 00:07:42,441 --> 00:07:45,521 Speaker 1: nerves or the fear that I thought I would. It 182 00:07:45,641 --> 00:07:47,481 Speaker 1: was one moment, actually, so laying there. When I went 183 00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:50,401 Speaker 1: downst to the surgical like room where they do the surgery, 184 00:07:50,841 --> 00:07:52,681 Speaker 1: they had to like prep on my bloods and everything. 185 00:07:52,961 --> 00:07:55,961 Speaker 1: The guy that was trying to insert my canula, I 186 00:07:55,961 --> 00:07:58,761 Speaker 1: have never seen someone shake so much, so I stopped him. 187 00:07:58,761 --> 00:08:00,521 Speaker 1: I grabbed his hand. I said, are you nervous? And 188 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,761 Speaker 1: he said, no, no, I've just had too much caffeine. I'm 189 00:08:02,761 --> 00:08:04,801 Speaker 1: not kidding you, babe. It was like he'd had five 190 00:08:04,801 --> 00:08:07,081 Speaker 1: shops coffee and he was struggling to get it in 191 00:08:07,161 --> 00:08:10,361 Speaker 1: because he was shaking so much. And when he walked away, 192 00:08:10,401 --> 00:08:13,241 Speaker 1: I said to that anesthetic surgeon, I was like, is 193 00:08:13,281 --> 00:08:16,081 Speaker 1: that normal? Thank God he's not doing my surgery. So 194 00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:18,441 Speaker 1: that moment there made me feel a little bit nervous, 195 00:08:18,441 --> 00:08:19,841 Speaker 1: because then I got in my head. I was like, 196 00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:23,081 Speaker 1: imagine my surgeon's having an off day. Imagine if they've 197 00:08:23,041 --> 00:08:24,681 Speaker 1: had a fight with their partner. Imagine if one of 198 00:08:24,681 --> 00:08:27,161 Speaker 1: their kids is sick at the moment. Imagine if they've 199 00:08:27,201 --> 00:08:30,921 Speaker 1: just found out their mum's dying and they're not there 200 00:08:31,401 --> 00:08:34,801 Speaker 1: like emotionally or like mentally there. Imagine if they had 201 00:08:34,801 --> 00:08:37,441 Speaker 1: wines last night and they're shaky with their hands. So 202 00:08:37,441 --> 00:08:39,001 Speaker 1: I started to get a little bit in my head 203 00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:40,881 Speaker 1: with that, but I quickly resent it. I was like, 204 00:08:40,881 --> 00:08:43,161 Speaker 1: you're safe, this is all going to be perfect. You're 205 00:08:43,161 --> 00:08:45,721 Speaker 1: all good. And then I can never say the word 206 00:08:45,801 --> 00:08:48,321 Speaker 1: is an anesthesiast. He came in. He still come. I'm 207 00:08:48,321 --> 00:08:50,521 Speaker 1: gonna give you a little injection. He said, what's your 208 00:08:50,561 --> 00:08:52,681 Speaker 1: favorite cocktail? I said, I don't drink. He's like, if 209 00:08:52,721 --> 00:08:55,481 Speaker 1: you go to drink? I said, oh, sow emmereto. He's like, perfect, 210 00:08:55,561 --> 00:08:56,921 Speaker 1: I'm going to give you an injection that's going to 211 00:08:57,001 --> 00:08:59,001 Speaker 1: make you feel a little bit like you've had a 212 00:08:59,001 --> 00:09:01,041 Speaker 1: couple of drinks. I was like, okay, cool, and it 213 00:09:01,121 --> 00:09:02,801 Speaker 1: gave that to me in a minute later. I was like, oh, 214 00:09:04,281 --> 00:09:07,681 Speaker 1: I know what you mean. Fun. And as he was 215 00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:09,521 Speaker 1: doing that, he wheeled me in and there's probably like 216 00:09:09,681 --> 00:09:12,241 Speaker 1: ten fifteen people in the room. So I'm just looking 217 00:09:12,241 --> 00:09:14,561 Speaker 1: around observing. She's like, what music do you like? I said, 218 00:09:14,681 --> 00:09:17,481 Speaker 1: chuck on some Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift song went on, 219 00:09:17,801 --> 00:09:18,961 Speaker 1: I can't remember anything else. 220 00:09:19,241 --> 00:09:19,801 Speaker 3: Wow. 221 00:09:20,481 --> 00:09:22,441 Speaker 1: They didn't even do a countdown? Did you do account? 222 00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:24,961 Speaker 3: No? I was out going because I always remember that, 223 00:09:24,961 --> 00:09:28,121 Speaker 3: like Conden. 224 00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:28,761 Speaker 1: I've had my boobs on. I remember counting he gets 225 00:09:28,921 --> 00:09:33,401 Speaker 1: like a but I cannot remember. I remember listening to 226 00:09:33,441 --> 00:09:37,641 Speaker 1: Taylor and I was gone, wow. Yeah, so it felt 227 00:09:37,681 --> 00:09:38,081 Speaker 1: really good. 228 00:09:38,321 --> 00:09:40,721 Speaker 3: Yeah, considering it's pretty nice, smooth sailing. 229 00:09:40,921 --> 00:09:43,521 Speaker 1: Yeah, which made I think be a bit naive to 230 00:09:43,561 --> 00:09:44,161 Speaker 1: the recovery. 231 00:09:44,321 --> 00:09:46,441 Speaker 3: What did you expect the recovery to be? 232 00:09:46,561 --> 00:09:47,521 Speaker 1: Like, like in your head? 233 00:09:47,841 --> 00:09:51,001 Speaker 3: Had you like ask anyone about it? Obviously you had 234 00:09:51,121 --> 00:09:52,881 Speaker 3: Steve a long time ago. 235 00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:54,841 Speaker 1: He woke up and had to be put in a coma. 236 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:57,761 Speaker 1: He couldn't see it. His whole skull had been cut 237 00:09:57,801 --> 00:10:00,521 Speaker 1: open from the top right to the bottom. Yeah, he 238 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:03,001 Speaker 1: was in hospital for like six months. He was so 239 00:10:03,081 --> 00:10:05,761 Speaker 1: different to mine. So he had me, they're going to 240 00:10:05,841 --> 00:10:08,001 Speaker 1: be doing these tests every hour. They had told me 241 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,761 Speaker 1: they'll be coming in every hour to wake me up 242 00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:12,601 Speaker 1: to do them. So I expected I would have little 243 00:10:12,761 --> 00:10:15,081 Speaker 1: micro naps in between when they wake me up. I 244 00:10:15,121 --> 00:10:17,081 Speaker 1: would expect that'd wake me up and I'd go straight 245 00:10:17,081 --> 00:10:19,721 Speaker 1: back to sleep. Yeah, I've never had a catheter, said, 246 00:10:19,721 --> 00:10:22,281 Speaker 1: no idea, what was involved with that? Yeah. I just 247 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:24,641 Speaker 1: honestly thought, oh, sleep, and in between, I'll watch a 248 00:10:24,681 --> 00:10:28,961 Speaker 1: TV series and stoke to get to watch TV series uninterrupted. Yeah, Like, 249 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,561 Speaker 1: I honestly thought that I'm going to make the most 250 00:10:30,561 --> 00:10:32,721 Speaker 1: of being hospital and just chill out, watch some TV 251 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:36,721 Speaker 1: series and just maybe read it with my book. Yeah. Yeah. 252 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,601 Speaker 1: So it was probably the hardest twenty four hours of 253 00:10:39,601 --> 00:10:42,361 Speaker 1: my life. Yeah. So when I woke up, Steve was 254 00:10:42,401 --> 00:10:45,161 Speaker 1: there and I was a bit drowsy or whatever. Steve 255 00:10:45,201 --> 00:10:46,441 Speaker 1: saved for a couple hours and then he needed to 256 00:10:46,481 --> 00:10:48,921 Speaker 1: go home to the kids. The first thing I remember 257 00:10:49,041 --> 00:10:52,201 Speaker 1: properly once I was fully awake was the neurosurgeon coming 258 00:10:52,321 --> 00:10:56,841 Speaker 1: and telling me surgery went great. It's all gone to plan, however, 259 00:10:57,881 --> 00:11:00,721 Speaker 1: and that's when I was like, well, Steve, with you okay, 260 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,121 Speaker 1: I think that really woke me up. Was like, however, 261 00:11:03,601 --> 00:11:05,361 Speaker 1: He's like, we have found another one, and I was 262 00:11:05,401 --> 00:11:09,521 Speaker 1: just like, oh, okay, okay, tell me about it. And 263 00:11:09,561 --> 00:11:11,201 Speaker 1: he said it's very similar to the one on your 264 00:11:11,241 --> 00:11:13,361 Speaker 1: right hand. Side, and he said, but you're very lucky 265 00:11:13,361 --> 00:11:15,881 Speaker 1: because this happens often when there's one, we find a second, 266 00:11:15,921 --> 00:11:18,601 Speaker 1: and often we find a third. There's no third, there's 267 00:11:18,601 --> 00:11:20,361 Speaker 1: only a second. I was like, ha is that meant 268 00:11:20,401 --> 00:11:24,401 Speaker 1: to make me feel better? Because it's not. But I 269 00:11:24,441 --> 00:11:26,401 Speaker 1: was like, oh, okay, And I said, do I have 270 00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:30,281 Speaker 1: to do all of this again? And he's like, most likely, 271 00:11:30,361 --> 00:11:32,601 Speaker 1: but we meet every Thursday to discuss everyone's cases and 272 00:11:32,601 --> 00:11:34,201 Speaker 1: then we'll decide what's going to be the best for you. 273 00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:37,321 Speaker 1: More than likely. It's very similar sizing. It's a more 274 00:11:37,361 --> 00:11:41,081 Speaker 1: shallow aneurysm, but it's very similar. So at your age, 275 00:11:41,161 --> 00:11:43,521 Speaker 1: we would want to just probably do what we can 276 00:11:43,601 --> 00:11:45,161 Speaker 1: to make sure that it's not going to rupture. It 277 00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:47,361 Speaker 1: was a massive shock to my system. I called Steve, 278 00:11:47,481 --> 00:11:49,881 Speaker 1: and his whole face, like his whole energy. I just 279 00:11:50,121 --> 00:11:52,921 Speaker 1: I felt even bad telling him. He was just like, 280 00:11:53,201 --> 00:11:57,081 Speaker 1: you're kidding. Call my mom. She was just absolutely shocked. 281 00:11:57,121 --> 00:11:58,641 Speaker 1: She always puts on a brave face, but I just 282 00:11:58,681 --> 00:12:01,361 Speaker 1: can read my mom and I could tell she was devastated. 283 00:12:02,561 --> 00:12:04,201 Speaker 1: So I kind of had to like process that. But 284 00:12:04,241 --> 00:12:06,601 Speaker 1: I had a beautiful nurse during out the day. She 285 00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:11,001 Speaker 1: was amazing so caring, so nurturing, so soft, so sweet. 286 00:12:11,081 --> 00:12:12,881 Speaker 1: I felt really good to just cry to her if 287 00:12:12,921 --> 00:12:15,961 Speaker 1: I needed to. My catheta never worked like properly. I 288 00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:17,921 Speaker 1: had to like bring the tube up to drain my peas. 289 00:12:17,961 --> 00:12:20,801 Speaker 1: I constantly felt this discomfort of needing to pee. But 290 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,841 Speaker 1: she was just really lovely. And at six pm we 291 00:12:22,881 --> 00:12:26,321 Speaker 1: swopped over to another nurse and she was the biggest vibe, 292 00:12:26,401 --> 00:12:30,921 Speaker 1: like just so like us, very funny, very easy going, cracking, 293 00:12:30,961 --> 00:12:35,281 Speaker 1: like silly jokes, even like sexual jokes, like for example, 294 00:12:35,281 --> 00:12:37,001 Speaker 1: they wanted to see how much we I had in 295 00:12:37,041 --> 00:12:38,561 Speaker 1: my bladder, and like the thing that they do on 296 00:12:38,561 --> 00:12:40,721 Speaker 1: your tummy, it looks like a big deal do and 297 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,121 Speaker 1: she picks it up and she's like, eh, what does 298 00:12:43,161 --> 00:12:46,881 Speaker 1: this look like? Like that's funny, And I thought to myself, 299 00:12:46,961 --> 00:12:49,961 Speaker 1: I am so grateful for these nurses. They are just beautiful, 300 00:12:49,961 --> 00:12:51,641 Speaker 1: and I've got epic ones. I can do this. I 301 00:12:51,641 --> 00:12:54,321 Speaker 1: can get through this night. And at eight o'clock she 302 00:12:54,361 --> 00:12:56,561 Speaker 1: comes in and she's like, I'm so sorry, but I 303 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,721 Speaker 1: have to go to another patron that is incubated, and 304 00:12:58,721 --> 00:13:01,961 Speaker 1: I'm the most experienced nurse here. You'll be having this gentleman, takeover. 305 00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:04,801 Speaker 1: My stomach dropped. I just I looked at her like, 306 00:13:05,121 --> 00:13:07,201 Speaker 1: please don't leave me, but he was standing there. I 307 00:13:07,201 --> 00:13:08,521 Speaker 1: didn't want to be like, oh, I don't want you, 308 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,081 Speaker 1: but I just did not feel a connection or vibe 309 00:13:11,081 --> 00:13:13,801 Speaker 1: from him straight away, And my intuition was right. He 310 00:13:13,841 --> 00:13:16,681 Speaker 1: had no bed manner, no empathy. Every time you touch 311 00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:18,961 Speaker 1: my catheter to drain it, it's like he was ripping it. 312 00:13:19,001 --> 00:13:20,881 Speaker 1: Anyone doesn't know where the catheter is. You've basically got 313 00:13:20,921 --> 00:13:23,641 Speaker 1: this like balloon and tube up your vagina to drain 314 00:13:23,681 --> 00:13:24,961 Speaker 1: your pea because you know how to get up to 315 00:13:24,961 --> 00:13:27,121 Speaker 1: go toilet. So every time he would pull it, he's 316 00:13:27,161 --> 00:13:29,201 Speaker 1: like yanking it. And at one point I was like, 317 00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:31,081 Speaker 1: can you please be a little bit more gentle. That's 318 00:13:31,121 --> 00:13:35,481 Speaker 1: like yanking on my vagina. It's very uncomfortable. And yeah, 319 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,561 Speaker 1: at one point it was like eleven thirty. I hadn't slept. 320 00:13:38,601 --> 00:13:40,921 Speaker 1: I've been up since two am, so it's getting on. 321 00:13:40,961 --> 00:13:43,001 Speaker 1: I haven't slept for over twenty hours apart from when 322 00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:45,641 Speaker 1: I was in surgery. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm not 323 00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:49,521 Speaker 1: feeling good. I'm very uncomfortable, like I've got massive bruises 324 00:13:49,521 --> 00:13:51,841 Speaker 1: on my arms where the canula were. Every time I 325 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:54,921 Speaker 1: moved that would hurt. I hadn't eaten. I just felt 326 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:57,561 Speaker 1: shit and I started to emotionally just not feel so good. 327 00:13:58,041 --> 00:13:59,401 Speaker 1: So I started to cry, and I was like, can 328 00:13:59,441 --> 00:14:01,201 Speaker 1: I please get this catheter out? And he's like, no, 329 00:14:01,281 --> 00:14:02,761 Speaker 1: you have to have that till eight o'clock in the morning. 330 00:14:02,961 --> 00:14:04,601 Speaker 1: I was like, can we do something else because I'm 331 00:14:04,641 --> 00:14:07,081 Speaker 1: so comfortable and like he was like, oh, there's not 332 00:14:07,161 --> 00:14:08,921 Speaker 1: much I can really do for you, and I just 333 00:14:08,961 --> 00:14:11,521 Speaker 1: like burst out crying. I was like, oh, can you 334 00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:13,281 Speaker 1: please leave the room, just gonna call my husband, and 335 00:14:13,321 --> 00:14:15,961 Speaker 1: I called Steve and I said to him after this, 336 00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:18,041 Speaker 1: I was like, I can't remember the last time. Like 337 00:14:18,081 --> 00:14:19,921 Speaker 1: I cry a lot, and I allowed my feelings and 338 00:14:19,921 --> 00:14:22,681 Speaker 1: emotions to come up, but I can't remember the last 339 00:14:22,681 --> 00:14:26,441 Speaker 1: time I hyperventilated. It was almost felt on the verge 340 00:14:26,441 --> 00:14:28,721 Speaker 1: of like a panic attack where I was just like 341 00:14:28,881 --> 00:14:31,041 Speaker 1: could not get my breath back. I was crying like 342 00:14:31,081 --> 00:14:33,241 Speaker 1: I can't do this, babe, Like get me out of here, 343 00:14:33,281 --> 00:14:34,881 Speaker 1: Like I can't get through the rest of the night 344 00:14:34,921 --> 00:14:39,281 Speaker 1: like this so uncomfortable, like everything hurts. Got a raging headache, 345 00:14:39,281 --> 00:14:42,081 Speaker 1: which is normal after an aneurysm as well, and he 346 00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:44,161 Speaker 1: just took some breaths with me and like just spoke 347 00:14:44,201 --> 00:14:47,041 Speaker 1: to me and got me at a calm estate. So 348 00:14:47,081 --> 00:14:49,001 Speaker 1: that was really nice to talk to him. And then 349 00:14:49,561 --> 00:14:51,521 Speaker 1: my girlfriend Beth messaged me and I was like, are 350 00:14:51,481 --> 00:14:53,561 Speaker 1: you're awake and she's like, yeah, babe, I'm in Perth. 351 00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:55,641 Speaker 1: That's Perth time, give me a call. And it was 352 00:14:55,681 --> 00:14:57,241 Speaker 1: just so nice to talk to her as well. She 353 00:14:57,281 --> 00:14:59,881 Speaker 1: had me giggling and laughing and where her weddings in Italy, 354 00:14:59,961 --> 00:15:02,481 Speaker 1: so so we're talking about that. By that time. It 355 00:15:02,521 --> 00:15:04,121 Speaker 1: must have been like one thirty in the morning, and 356 00:15:04,121 --> 00:15:05,401 Speaker 1: I was like when I hung up from her, I 357 00:15:05,441 --> 00:15:07,321 Speaker 1: was like, okay, talking to myself and like, you've made 358 00:15:07,361 --> 00:15:09,921 Speaker 1: it through the first half the night. This sounds really dramatic, 359 00:15:09,921 --> 00:15:13,521 Speaker 1: but when you're in it, not sleeping for over twenty 360 00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:16,841 Speaker 1: four hour period, feel like you're going crazy. It's actual torture. Yeah. 361 00:15:16,881 --> 00:15:18,521 Speaker 1: I knew I wasn't going to be sleeping for like 362 00:15:18,561 --> 00:15:22,081 Speaker 1: probably another twelve even twenty four hours more because it's 363 00:15:22,161 --> 00:15:24,521 Speaker 1: just so hard chutting on you kept checking on you, 364 00:15:24,561 --> 00:15:28,401 Speaker 1: it's noisy, it's uncomfortable. Also, you're on this inflatable mattress, 365 00:15:28,721 --> 00:15:31,801 Speaker 1: So it's only in the ICU. Every three to five minutes, 366 00:15:32,121 --> 00:15:35,601 Speaker 1: your mattress to flats and then it inflates again, so it. 367 00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:37,881 Speaker 3: Goes keep the blood pumping, is it like. 368 00:15:38,121 --> 00:15:40,761 Speaker 1: Must be something to do with it the pressure, so 369 00:15:40,801 --> 00:15:44,041 Speaker 1: it makes a vibration and a sound. So every time 370 00:15:44,041 --> 00:15:46,681 Speaker 1: you're not off, Yeah, mattress is going off in ten 371 00:15:47,401 --> 00:15:49,801 Speaker 1: So that was another thing. So yeah, got to one thirty, 372 00:15:49,801 --> 00:15:50,881 Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I can get through the rest 373 00:15:50,881 --> 00:15:53,121 Speaker 1: of the night, kept watching my TV series, kept trying 374 00:15:53,121 --> 00:15:56,241 Speaker 1: to stay hydrated, even though I was so uncomfortable. Obviously 375 00:15:56,281 --> 00:15:58,401 Speaker 1: made it through. And then first thing in the morning 376 00:15:58,401 --> 00:16:00,401 Speaker 1: when the doctor came around, I was like, please take 377 00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:02,401 Speaker 1: the catheter out, like leave everything else in, but can 378 00:16:02,441 --> 00:16:05,041 Speaker 1: I get that out and go toilet? My blood pressure 379 00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:07,001 Speaker 1: naturally is really really low, and when I went up 380 00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:08,681 Speaker 1: to go to the toilet for the first time, dropped 381 00:16:08,681 --> 00:16:10,561 Speaker 1: down to like seventy six, which is really low. So 382 00:16:10,561 --> 00:16:12,761 Speaker 1: I felt quite dizzy, but I just had two nurses 383 00:16:12,761 --> 00:16:15,201 Speaker 1: beside me that walked into the toilet. That felt like 384 00:16:15,321 --> 00:16:18,161 Speaker 1: absolute heaven. You never would think you just take going 385 00:16:18,201 --> 00:16:19,921 Speaker 1: to the toilet for granted, because this is what you 386 00:16:19,921 --> 00:16:21,881 Speaker 1: do a million times to day when you don't have 387 00:16:21,961 --> 00:16:24,361 Speaker 1: the ability to go toilet and sit on a toilet, 388 00:16:24,561 --> 00:16:28,001 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it is so nice. And then I 389 00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:30,441 Speaker 1: got taken back to the normal ward where I was 390 00:16:30,441 --> 00:16:32,001 Speaker 1: sharing a room with the lady who had had the 391 00:16:32,001 --> 00:16:34,201 Speaker 1: same surgery as me, and she was really really lovely. 392 00:16:34,281 --> 00:16:36,161 Speaker 1: She just loved to have a chat, and I had 393 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,321 Speaker 1: no energy to talk, so I like close my curtains, 394 00:16:38,361 --> 00:16:40,241 Speaker 1: put my headphones on, but she would like poke her 395 00:16:40,241 --> 00:16:41,681 Speaker 1: head in and like want a chat, sit on the 396 00:16:41,761 --> 00:16:43,801 Speaker 1: end of my pick. And she was old or so 397 00:16:43,841 --> 00:16:46,161 Speaker 1: she probably just wanted a company. But I really felt 398 00:16:46,201 --> 00:16:49,761 Speaker 1: like I just had no capacity for anyone. But Steve 399 00:16:49,761 --> 00:16:52,081 Speaker 1: obviously came visited again, which was really nice, and then 400 00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:54,241 Speaker 1: just got through that twenty four hours before I got 401 00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:57,121 Speaker 1: to go home the next day. And then yeah, I 402 00:16:57,201 --> 00:17:00,721 Speaker 1: really didn't sleep much for I think three or four days. 403 00:17:00,801 --> 00:17:02,561 Speaker 1: It was very very short. Even when I got home. 404 00:17:02,801 --> 00:17:04,640 Speaker 1: The first night, I got sleeping side and it got 405 00:17:04,641 --> 00:17:06,321 Speaker 1: to midnight and I was like, oh my god, I'm 406 00:17:06,321 --> 00:17:09,561 Speaker 1: still not asleep. I'd taken two melatonin that normally would 407 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,360 Speaker 1: knock me out, it didn't, so I only had about 408 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,120 Speaker 1: four hours that first night. It was just rough sleep. 409 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,081 Speaker 3: Anxiety is so realist, like when you're gone a long 410 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,120 Speaker 3: period of time where you don't sleep, you're like fixated 411 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 3: on you, like I just need to get sleep. I 412 00:17:20,201 --> 00:17:21,360 Speaker 3: just need to get sleep. And then you're sitting there 413 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:24,160 Speaker 3: and you're like, why am I not going to sleep? 414 00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:29,200 Speaker 1: When in hospital? On Monday had surgery? Tuesday was home Thursday, Friday, 415 00:17:29,241 --> 00:17:31,721 Speaker 1: Saturday I rested heaps. Sunday was still a slow day, 416 00:17:31,761 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 1: but I just woke up feeling much better. But I 417 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,601 Speaker 1: hadn't gone toilet for like four days, which is very 418 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:39,720 Speaker 1: unlike me, and if you know, you know, that just 419 00:17:39,761 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 1: makes you feel so crap. So Steve was like, why 420 00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 1: don't you just go for a walk intended He's like, 421 00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:49,721 Speaker 1: just go for a light walk, at your body moving. 422 00:17:49,721 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 1: I beat you that, I'll get you going. And it did, 423 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,041 Speaker 1: thank god, because you just feel toxic with when you're. 424 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,801 Speaker 3: Growing, honestly I do, and all the stuff that's been 425 00:17:54,801 --> 00:17:57,160 Speaker 3: in your body too for the surgery. 426 00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:00,001 Speaker 1: So we just went grocery shopping and then I cooked 427 00:18:00,041 --> 00:18:02,161 Speaker 1: heaves and we had a few of Tug's friends over. 428 00:18:02,201 --> 00:18:04,600 Speaker 1: They sim in the pool. I meal prepped and just 429 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,640 Speaker 1: cleaned up and hung with the kids, and it was 430 00:18:06,761 --> 00:18:09,761 Speaker 1: just the nicest day. Just had full blown gratitude for 431 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,960 Speaker 1: my family, for my home, for my health, my body 432 00:18:13,321 --> 00:18:15,081 Speaker 1: being able to put makeup on, like just a full 433 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,360 Speaker 1: night's sleep. Yeah, it just was so grateful. And now 434 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,201 Speaker 1: I'm just waiting for the phone call to what they're 435 00:18:20,201 --> 00:18:22,200 Speaker 1: going to do for surgery. So if I have to 436 00:18:22,241 --> 00:18:24,761 Speaker 1: go for another surgery, which is very likely, they have 437 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,880 Speaker 1: to wait for two months to make sure this one's worked. 438 00:18:27,441 --> 00:18:28,960 Speaker 1: And I also said to them, why did you not 439 00:18:29,001 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 1: fix the other one while you're in there, and he said, 440 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,440 Speaker 1: because you hadn't given consent. I was like, damn it. 441 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,841 Speaker 3: Oh, so if they put something in there to say, 442 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,281 Speaker 3: like if we find anything else, then. 443 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,160 Speaker 1: They can't do that either though, because if there was 444 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:42,200 Speaker 1: a bleed or a stroke, if something happened on the table, 445 00:18:42,561 --> 00:18:45,001 Speaker 1: they need to know which aneurysms come from, and they're 446 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:48,041 Speaker 1: dealing with multiple that it's just more complicated. He's like, 447 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,561 Speaker 1: I know it might not seem like major surgery to you, 448 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,401 Speaker 1: but this is major surgery. I have literally been inside 449 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,120 Speaker 1: of your brain. Yes, So it's just one at a time, 450 00:18:56,721 --> 00:18:58,281 Speaker 1: so it'd be in two months time. So if I 451 00:18:58,281 --> 00:19:01,201 Speaker 1: go back it'd be around October November. Yeah, I'm secretly 452 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,561 Speaker 1: hoping they say we're just going to monitor it. But 453 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 1: my mum and Steve were like, no, you got to 454 00:19:06,241 --> 00:19:08,201 Speaker 1: get back in there because otherwise you are literally walking 455 00:19:08,241 --> 00:19:10,321 Speaker 1: around like a digcking time bomb. You just never know 456 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,321 Speaker 1: if it's gonna rupture. 457 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 3: And then you got in the back of your mind 458 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,640 Speaker 3: until you do get surgery that it's there. 459 00:19:15,801 --> 00:19:18,681 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Yeah, And like, will I be better off 460 00:19:18,761 --> 00:19:23,001 Speaker 1: knowing what's coming or maybe more traumatized and more scared 461 00:19:23,041 --> 00:19:25,681 Speaker 1: because I know what's coming? Maybe, like how I wonder how? 462 00:19:25,801 --> 00:19:28,441 Speaker 3: So I feel like your experience with the catheter made 463 00:19:28,441 --> 00:19:30,920 Speaker 3: it so annoying as well. I don't think that's a 464 00:19:30,921 --> 00:19:33,120 Speaker 3: normal experience because I had one when I had my 465 00:19:33,241 --> 00:19:35,400 Speaker 3: C section, and although I was numb at the start, 466 00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:37,081 Speaker 3: I feel like at the end you can feel it 467 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,681 Speaker 3: a little bit, but it shouldn't hurt. 468 00:19:38,721 --> 00:19:40,360 Speaker 1: But then one nurse had said to me, oh, did 469 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,241 Speaker 1: they insert this when you were on the table asleep? 470 00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,120 Speaker 1: And I said yes, and she rolled I. She was 471 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,481 Speaker 1: like oh, I was like, what does oh mean? Yeah? 472 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,321 Speaker 1: Is that like? Does it not work as well? But 473 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:52,440 Speaker 1: the really nice nurse I had the second time she 474 00:19:52,521 --> 00:19:56,041 Speaker 1: tried to readjust it. Yeah, it didn't help. I was 475 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,801 Speaker 1: laying on my side a little bit elevated. It helped 476 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,921 Speaker 1: a little bit more. So I constantly was just trying 477 00:20:00,921 --> 00:20:02,801 Speaker 1: to be on my side. But you also just feel 478 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,680 Speaker 1: so dehydrated. So I wanted to keep my high. I 479 00:20:05,681 --> 00:20:08,961 Speaker 1: bought these like salty sachets. They were flavored, but they're 480 00:20:08,961 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: all natural and had magnesium, potassium, and sodium in there. 481 00:20:11,761 --> 00:20:14,041 Speaker 1: I really want to just keep really hydrated. Yeah, so 482 00:20:14,041 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 1: I was trying to drink keeps those, but then I 483 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 1: was just you know, you're busting for the toilet and 484 00:20:17,481 --> 00:20:19,360 Speaker 1: it's painful. That was me for the whole time I 485 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:23,001 Speaker 1: was in ICU, So it did not ease off. Uncomfortable 486 00:20:23,041 --> 00:20:26,680 Speaker 1: and also just frustrating. When you're emotionally like stretched at 487 00:20:26,681 --> 00:20:29,201 Speaker 1: that point from no sleep, I just feel like everything 488 00:20:29,241 --> 00:20:33,561 Speaker 1: feels harder. Yeah. So I hope that has stretched my 489 00:20:33,681 --> 00:20:36,281 Speaker 1: capacity to be able to handle a different type of stress, 490 00:20:36,801 --> 00:20:38,921 Speaker 1: like a health stress. So hopefully next time I'm better. 491 00:20:39,441 --> 00:20:41,681 Speaker 1: I must say I've definitely gotten so much better at 492 00:20:41,761 --> 00:20:44,640 Speaker 1: self regulating, like I can bring myself back in but 493 00:20:44,761 --> 00:20:46,640 Speaker 1: in the moments, I don't want to say weakness in 494 00:20:46,681 --> 00:20:49,720 Speaker 1: the moments of struggle, I had people there that just 495 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,400 Speaker 1: were there. You know. Without that, I don't know how 496 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 1: I would have gone through that. Yeah, it was brutal, 497 00:20:55,201 --> 00:20:57,041 Speaker 1: but I mean out the other side, I feel better 498 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,360 Speaker 1: than ever now, so grateful for it. It's taught me 499 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,321 Speaker 1: so much. That's the thing to leave. I was like, 500 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 1: what's this second one taught you? And I was like, 501 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,641 Speaker 1: that's what I'm not sure of yet. First one taught 502 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,680 Speaker 1: me so much and I made drastic changes, Like I 503 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 1: closed down my business of eight years. I've fully slowed down. 504 00:21:13,761 --> 00:21:16,120 Speaker 1: I'm stepping to my feminine I've hired a coach to 505 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:19,041 Speaker 1: help support me with this new like way of living. Yeah, 506 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:23,801 Speaker 1: I'm trying to break so many old beliefs around who 507 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,400 Speaker 1: I am and what I need to be to be 508 00:21:25,441 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 1: loved and successful and working on so much like And 509 00:21:29,001 --> 00:21:30,960 Speaker 1: that was all from that moment of finding out how 510 00:21:30,961 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 1: to aneurism my universe. I've learned a lot, I've taken on. 511 00:21:34,721 --> 00:21:38,521 Speaker 1: At what more do you want from me? I don't 512 00:21:38,521 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 1: know what the second one's taught me. Is it just 513 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:43,001 Speaker 1: to keep surrendering? Maybe I do not know? Man, live 514 00:21:43,041 --> 00:21:44,760 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not sure. Actually, don't know why 515 00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:47,680 Speaker 1: I said that the universe is being an asshole. I 516 00:21:47,761 --> 00:21:49,721 Speaker 1: was like, no, there'll be a higher purpose for it. 517 00:21:50,481 --> 00:21:53,281 Speaker 1: And maybe it's just I don't know, to keep creating 518 00:21:53,281 --> 00:21:55,401 Speaker 1: impact other people will not feel alone. 519 00:21:55,721 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 3: Maybe that's the one that would have gone bad if 520 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,241 Speaker 3: they didn't spot, you know what I mean, Like maybe 521 00:22:00,281 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 3: the fact that the doctor spotted that one. 522 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:04,681 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's lucky, Like I definitely feel lucky. It's weird 523 00:22:04,681 --> 00:22:07,880 Speaker 1: how like you can have so many emotions existing at once. 524 00:22:08,521 --> 00:22:10,921 Speaker 1: I hate on social media. It's a downfall of social media. 525 00:22:10,961 --> 00:22:13,601 Speaker 1: If you express it you're struggling with something, or you're 526 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,001 Speaker 1: having a hard time with mum life, or finances aren't great, 527 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:18,961 Speaker 1: or your business is not growing great, or I'm in 528 00:22:19,041 --> 00:22:21,241 Speaker 1: hospital finding it really hard. People are like, oh, you 529 00:22:21,241 --> 00:22:23,041 Speaker 1: should be so grateful you've got the surgery, you should 530 00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:26,521 Speaker 1: be grateful for this. I am, but I'm also in 531 00:22:26,561 --> 00:22:28,640 Speaker 1: the thick of it, and I'm also experiencing all of 532 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 1: these emotions, and I'm not gonna shame any. 533 00:22:30,321 --> 00:22:31,321 Speaker 3: Of those human beings. 534 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:35,681 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that is part of my experience. Like, those heavier, 535 00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:38,521 Speaker 1: harder emotions should not be ones that we just park 536 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,001 Speaker 1: over there. I think everyone should be able to feel 537 00:22:41,001 --> 00:22:42,440 Speaker 1: all that when you're in the thick of it. If 538 00:22:42,521 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 1: you don't feel it, you just store it. Yeah, and 539 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,161 Speaker 1: that comes out in toxic ways later on. But yeah, 540 00:22:47,201 --> 00:22:49,161 Speaker 1: proud of my body and what it's taken me through 541 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,761 Speaker 1: and how I have come out the other side and 542 00:22:50,801 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: it will take me through again. I also asked the 543 00:22:52,961 --> 00:22:56,080 Speaker 1: neurosurgeons because obviously Steve's had one and I've had one. 544 00:22:56,321 --> 00:22:58,321 Speaker 1: With our kids, we're going to get TAJ and MRI 545 00:22:58,561 --> 00:23:01,720 Speaker 1: next year, and he said, wait till they're fourteen or fifteen. Okay, 546 00:23:01,801 --> 00:23:03,921 Speaker 1: things like I wouldn't stress too much, even though age 547 00:23:03,921 --> 00:23:06,161 Speaker 1: which confuses me because it can be born with them. 548 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,480 Speaker 1: But Steve said he started to have fits and that's 549 00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:11,120 Speaker 1: how they found his His was more in his teens 550 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,160 Speaker 1: as well. But he said, yeah, wait till he's fourteen 551 00:23:13,241 --> 00:23:14,441 Speaker 1: or fifteen and then get an MRI. 552 00:23:14,961 --> 00:23:16,640 Speaker 3: How many people are walking around do you know with 553 00:23:16,721 --> 00:23:17,201 Speaker 3: an in. 554 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,721 Speaker 1: Twenty in twenty or brain any aneurysm? 555 00:23:20,801 --> 00:23:22,120 Speaker 3: Wow, there you go. 556 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,521 Speaker 1: That's pretty crazy, hey, which is sounds really common. Yeah, 557 00:23:25,681 --> 00:23:27,561 Speaker 1: And I don't think you hear like you don't see 558 00:23:27,561 --> 00:23:29,561 Speaker 1: it on the news or hear about people dying from 559 00:23:29,801 --> 00:23:32,801 Speaker 1: unless they're famous or something, but it's very very common. 560 00:23:33,001 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 1: I think if you ever have anything to do with 561 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: your site, really intense headaches, why would you not get tested, Like, 562 00:23:39,241 --> 00:23:40,880 Speaker 1: just go and get a check, go and get a 563 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,561 Speaker 1: CT scan and an MRI and just have it looked at, 564 00:23:44,041 --> 00:23:45,641 Speaker 1: and they might decide not to touch it. They might 565 00:23:45,681 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 1: just monitor it, but at least you know. 566 00:23:48,321 --> 00:23:50,281 Speaker 3: So, were you having headaches as well? 567 00:23:50,441 --> 00:23:52,640 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, it was more that week though, Like I 568 00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:54,880 Speaker 1: would get the loss of vision and then the headache 569 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 1: would come on, but I would quickly take voltairean or 570 00:23:57,801 --> 00:24:01,000 Speaker 1: neuropin to stop it. Yes, And I feel like before that, 571 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,960 Speaker 1: headaches would pop up normally around my period, but I 572 00:24:04,001 --> 00:24:07,001 Speaker 1: just thought it was information. Who knows. Yeah, I just 573 00:24:07,041 --> 00:24:09,001 Speaker 1: think if anything is not feeling right in your body, 574 00:24:09,041 --> 00:24:11,121 Speaker 1: why would you not investigate it. That's your body giving 575 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:12,680 Speaker 1: you a symptom and a sign that something's not right 576 00:24:12,681 --> 00:24:14,640 Speaker 1: and there's a root issue to what it is. You 577 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,521 Speaker 1: can keep popping your patot all and taking whatever, but 578 00:24:17,761 --> 00:24:20,801 Speaker 1: it's such an opportunity to figure out exactly what's going 579 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,961 Speaker 1: on and potentially give yourself a second chance of life. Absolutely, 580 00:24:24,001 --> 00:24:26,200 Speaker 1: Like if I didn't go to the hospital, imagine if 581 00:24:26,241 --> 00:24:28,001 Speaker 1: this burst next year and my life was lost, my 582 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,120 Speaker 1: kids are left with my mum. Yeah, and it could 583 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:33,041 Speaker 1: have been prevented. That's the thing. These can be prevented. Yeah, 584 00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:36,681 Speaker 1: just cool now yeah. Yeah. So that's my message everyone. 585 00:24:36,721 --> 00:24:38,601 Speaker 1: If you think something's not right, like, go and get 586 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:42,281 Speaker 1: it checked. Yeah. Yeah, So glad that it's done for 587 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:45,201 Speaker 1: you and thank you. Yeah until next time. 588 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,641 Speaker 3: Yeah, wait and see what happens is the next one. 589 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,401 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. And my heart goes out to anyone who 590 00:24:50,441 --> 00:24:52,440 Speaker 1: was going through any health issues. It's not fine, anyone 591 00:24:52,441 --> 00:24:55,041 Speaker 1: that's in hospital, like even when I was in hospital. 592 00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:57,521 Speaker 1: Her name's Alano. I think can actually leave her go 593 00:24:57,561 --> 00:25:00,880 Speaker 1: from the account in our description box. Yep. She's a 594 00:25:00,921 --> 00:25:04,961 Speaker 1: little girl called Daisy and her brain is riddled with tumors. 595 00:25:05,761 --> 00:25:08,041 Speaker 1: They've had to move into the Brisbane hospital. They've got 596 00:25:08,041 --> 00:25:10,881 Speaker 1: two other children. So her little girl was like asleep 597 00:25:10,961 --> 00:25:12,920 Speaker 1: all the time, Like there's videos of her just like 598 00:25:13,041 --> 00:25:15,080 Speaker 1: out at parks and just like couldn't keep awake. The 599 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 1: doctor's like, no, she's fine, she's fine. The mom was like, 600 00:25:17,521 --> 00:25:20,400 Speaker 1: she's not fine. Got it checked and her brain's riddled 601 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,160 Speaker 1: with tumors. So she said her brain is unfortunately covered 602 00:25:23,201 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 1: with tumors. They were trying to remove as many as 603 00:25:25,281 --> 00:25:27,640 Speaker 1: they can, focus on the ones giving her bad seizures. 604 00:25:27,961 --> 00:25:30,001 Speaker 1: We've met the surgeon, been given the paperwork. They just 605 00:25:30,041 --> 00:25:32,200 Speaker 1: waiting on her genetics to come back before operating in 606 00:25:32,201 --> 00:25:34,401 Speaker 1: case they find out it's not safe to do so. 607 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,841 Speaker 1: It's been a very scary week seeing her look so lifeless. 608 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:40,360 Speaker 1: But hopefully this operation may even help a little. She's like, 609 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,400 Speaker 1: I've been living my worst nightmares as a parent. I 610 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,441 Speaker 1: wish I could take away all of this pain from her. 611 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,041 Speaker 1: It's just heartbreaking. Whatever you're going through in life, There's 612 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,481 Speaker 1: just so many people out there struggling. And I was 613 00:25:51,521 --> 00:25:53,801 Speaker 1: in there for a couple of days. I can't imagine 614 00:25:53,801 --> 00:25:55,521 Speaker 1: the families that are in there, Like, I'm so glad 615 00:25:55,561 --> 00:25:57,281 Speaker 1: I had to go through that, not my kids as well, 616 00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,721 Speaker 1: but my heart just goes out there to anyone who 617 00:25:59,761 --> 00:26:02,281 Speaker 1: is in hospital struggling, who has family in hospital, who 618 00:26:02,321 --> 00:26:04,081 Speaker 1: you have a curtain you're coming up, Like, whatever you're 619 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:09,041 Speaker 1: going through far it is not easy on your body physically, mentally, 620 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 1: and emotionally. It stretches you in more ways than you 621 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,680 Speaker 1: can think of. If there's any way that you can 622 00:26:14,681 --> 00:26:16,640 Speaker 1: help another family like we will. You can donate to 623 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,761 Speaker 1: a Daisy's family or put that go fund me in there. 624 00:26:19,801 --> 00:26:22,561 Speaker 1: Everyone could dig deep. That'd be awesome. But yeah, otherwise 625 00:26:22,561 --> 00:26:25,680 Speaker 1: that's my journey. What a journey. PS. This is a 626 00:26:25,721 --> 00:26:28,881 Speaker 1: new mantra that I've been saying to myself, and it's 627 00:26:29,001 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 1: just I have everything that I need right now. It 628 00:26:33,041 --> 00:26:34,961 Speaker 1: kind of relates back to my share of the week, 629 00:26:35,041 --> 00:26:39,001 Speaker 1: but like whether it comes to support, love, my resources, food, 630 00:26:39,041 --> 00:26:41,401 Speaker 1: like literally anything. And when you get stuck in a 631 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,041 Speaker 1: lack mindset, you turn into a victim. If you actually 632 00:26:45,041 --> 00:26:47,441 Speaker 1: look around, you have everything that you need. You can 633 00:26:47,441 --> 00:26:49,960 Speaker 1: always want more. That's totally fine to have goals, But 634 00:26:50,001 --> 00:26:51,961 Speaker 1: when I was in hospital and coming out of hospital, 635 00:26:51,961 --> 00:26:53,680 Speaker 1: and just even at night when I'm sitting with my family, 636 00:26:53,721 --> 00:26:56,801 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't need anything else. I love life 637 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,920 Speaker 1: and I love having goals and things look forward to, 638 00:26:58,961 --> 00:27:00,801 Speaker 1: and there's different things that I would like to achieve 639 00:27:00,961 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 1: or buy or whatever I want a sauna, beach, but honestly, like, 640 00:27:05,521 --> 00:27:07,561 Speaker 1: I'm just so happy and attent. I have everything I 641 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 1: need right here right now. That's beautiful. PS. 642 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,681 Speaker 3: Luxury is waking up being able to say I love 643 00:27:14,721 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 3: it here. I love who I've become. I love how 644 00:27:17,281 --> 00:27:19,641 Speaker 3: I've healed. I love how sure I am of myself. 645 00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:21,681 Speaker 3: I love how I believe in what I can do. 646 00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:24,120 Speaker 3: I love where the roller coaster of life has taken me. 647 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,520 Speaker 3: I love that I allow myself to feel free. I 648 00:27:26,521 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 3: love that I can let go. I love that I 649 00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 3: can say no. I love that I can give love, 650 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,161 Speaker 3: and I love that I allow love. 651 00:27:32,761 --> 00:27:35,521 Speaker 1: That's so nice, pretty, it's really pretty. 652 00:27:35,521 --> 00:27:35,961 Speaker 2: I saw it. 653 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:40,640 Speaker 1: I was like, that's really really really that's nice. Yeah, 654 00:27:40,721 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 1: alrighty guys, will wrap it up here and we'll be 655 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,641 Speaker 1: seeing you on Wednesday. We'll see you then. By bye.