WEBVTT - #1901 UNSTUCK-IFICATION (The Process of Getting Unstuck) - Harps (PT2) 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.120 Good a groovers. Hope you're bloody terrific, welcome back. So 0:00:04.280 --> 0:00:08.880 yesterday I kicked off the kind of how to get 0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:12.680 unstuck conversation, how to get out of your own way, 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:16.560 how to stop self sabotaging, overthinking, how to stop being 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:19.880 held ransom to your own emotions, and all those things. 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:24.200 I think this is a really important conversation. I enjoyed it. 0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:28.200 This is the completion of that. Here is part two, 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:30.840 number four on my how to get unstuck list is 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:34.320 choose to do what scares you. That is the thing 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:36.520 that you need to do to create the outcome you want. 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:39.120 I'm not just talking about what scares you running in 0:00:39.159 --> 0:00:40.760 front of a truck do that, and no, of course not. 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:46.000 I'm talking about strategic, intelligent, purpose driven facing your fear. 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:51.640 Be courageous. Your goal is not to be fearless. Your 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:56.600 goal is not to eradicate all self doubt. Your goal is, 0:00:56.920 --> 0:01:00.640 despite your fear, despite your overthinking, despite your self doubt, 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:08.319 despite your insecurity, do something really fucking brave because you can. 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:12.640 Because you can. I know you don't want to sometimes, 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:16.200 I know that you doubt yourself. At the very least, 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:19.320 you're going to have an experience. You might fuck up, 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:22.679 you might fall down metaphorically, you might get it wrong, 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:25.000 and then at the end of that you have a 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:27.920 challenge by the way. You might get it right, might 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.399 be fucking great. Whatever the outcome is, you're going to 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:34.040 learn something. You're going to learn something. I've spent years 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:36.480 doing things that didn't work. In fact, most of the 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:41.800 things that I tried, at least initially didn't work or 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:43.560 I got a four out of ten, not a ten 0:01:43.600 --> 0:01:46.759 out of ten outcome, sometimes a minus two out of ten. 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:53.160 And that is because I knew. I knew that well, 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:55.760 I didn't know. Actually, I thought that I could probably 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:58.600 do this thing eventually. But in the moment, at the start, 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:00.800 I knew that I wouldn't win, that I wouldn't get 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:03.120 it right. I knew that it wouldn't be perfect. I 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:05.480 knew that it would be flawed. But I also knew 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:10.480 that that imperfection and that flaw and that three or 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:14.040 two out of ten result was a pathway. It was 0:02:14.080 --> 0:02:17.840 a conduit to understanding and skill and development and growth 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:22.840 and better outcomes. It's in the middle of doing the 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:27.200 things that scare me that I get better. It's in 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:29.960 the middle of doing the things that I'm uncomfortable with, 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:33.520 that I'm unfamiliar with, around which there is little or 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:35.920 no certainty. It's in the middle of that that I 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:39.919 become the best version of me. It's in the middle 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:43.080 of letting fear control me that I become the worst 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:46.799 version of me, because if I don't manage my fear, 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:50.360 it will manage me. And I do want to not 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:57.200 be a prisoner in my own emotions, and neither do you. 0:02:58.680 --> 0:03:06.000 Number five is practical, not sexy, not mind blowing. Number 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:08.840 five is write yourself for to do list. And that 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:11.240 might just be two things, that might be two hundred things. 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:15.239 Let's probably not go with two hundred. Right yourself a 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:19.520 to do list and fully commit to it, like fully, 0:03:20.120 --> 0:03:22.200 this is me, now, this is what I do. Now, 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:28.880 remove the escape clause and the safety net, take away 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:33.760 the get out a jail card. Tell somebody else, perhaps, 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:41.839 so that now you've got a level of accountability. Take 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:44.400 the emotion whatever it is that you feel, the thing 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:46.680 that you want to do, that you're excited about but 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:51.520 scared to do. And then with that emotion, that excitement, 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:54.280 that goal, that vision, that dream, that thing that you 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:57.040 want to change, that thing that you are moved to 0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:00.880 change or do, or be or create. Take that emotion 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:03.920 and wrap it in a strategy. Wrap it in a plan, 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:07.800 Wrap it in logic, Wrap it in accountability, wrap it 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:12.480 in wrap it. I'm not saying rabid wrap wrap, wrap 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:19.160 it in something which is almost impossible for you to 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:27.000 not operationalize. In other words, do so many people set 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:32.440 themselves kind of a goal or write themselves a to 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:36.600 do list, but they're on no level committed. Like if 0:04:36.640 --> 0:04:42.640 I'm fully committed to something, fully committed I mean mentally, emotionally, behaviorally, 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:47.919 one boots and all. Then on the days when I 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:51.880 don't feel disciplined, I'm not. I'm not you know, inspired, 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:55.720 I'm not motivated, I'm not feeling it, I'm not loving it. 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:59.800 It doesn't matter because I'm fully committed, So barring sickness 0:04:59.880 --> 0:05:04.480 or injury or some unavoidable reason, but barring that, I'm 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:06.320 doing it. And the reason that I'm doing it is 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:10.720 because I am fully invested and fully committed to this 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:14.280 process to create the thing I want to create. And 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:18.080 we need to get our head around the idea that 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:23.080 this won't be fun, quick, easy, or painless. And not 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:25.400 only is that okay, it's fucking great because in the 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:27.919 middle of all of that, I'm still gonna I'm going 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:30.880 to create better results anyway because I'm doing the workhead down, 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:34.400 bum up, I'm focused. But also the bonus and maybe 0:05:34.400 --> 0:05:36.240 even the real gift in the middle of all of this, 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:41.120 is that I'm becoming better. I am making me a 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:44.560 stronger me, a better me, a more resilient me, a 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:49.600 more capable me, a more resourceful creative me, and hopefully 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:53.640 a better me for others, a better leader, a better communicator, 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.720 a better dad, a better mum, a better sister, a 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:59.560 better brother, a better friend, a better problem solver, a 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:04.120 better career. Like this is kind of the refiner's fire, 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:08.440 where we put ourselves in the fire of that challenge 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:14.039 and we come out the other side. Ah. So that 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:17.839 was five and six. Number seven is extricate yourself from 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:23.239 people who perpetuate your stuckness. Oh, I'll say that again. 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:28.400 Extricate yourself from the people who from people who perpetuate 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:34.599 your stuckness. In other words, as much as possible. And 0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:36.159 I know there are a lot of variables around this. 0:06:36.279 --> 0:06:38.400 You say, yeah, cool, Craig, but what if one of 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:41.159 those people is my partner or my brother, or my 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:45.040 sister or my barcelma. I get it. And so that's 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:47.880 why this is global, That's why this is broad and general. 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:50.920 But as much as possible. When you realize that there 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:54.920 is a personal person's on planet, you that and we're 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:57.320 not blaming them, but we realize that perhaps they are 0:06:57.360 --> 0:07:03.280 a contributor. Then either if possible, if possible and appropriate, 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:07.600 we extricate ourselves from that relationship or that environment, or 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:13.240 we perhaps change the dynamic, that is, we maybe see 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:16.480 them less, we maybe realize there are certain conversations we 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:19.320 don't have with them. There are people in my life 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:27.200 virtue of situation and circumstance who over my journey have 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:32.440 not been encouraging or supportive, and that's okay, have not 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:36.480 had faith in me or confidence in me, and have 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:42.640 at times undermined, questioned, and done a whole lot of 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:47.440 things that really did not help me to move forward 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:49.640 to grow to a vole. In fact, if I had 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:52.520 paid too much attention, and I did pay too much attention, 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:55.040 but if I hadn't have been able to extricate myself 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:58.680 from that influence, I would not have done a lot 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:01.320 of the things I've done. And definitely no high watermark 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:04.080 for success or post a boyd for success. But I've 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:06.320 done some really cool things and I'm very happy and 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:10.600 proud of that. But I realize that there are certain 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:15.200 people that, although I may have to have a relationship 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:21.040 with them courtesy of just my life or situation, there 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:24.480 are certain people that I won't have particular conversations with, 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:27.120 I won't open certain doors. And that doesn't mean I 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:29.120 hate those people, are dislike them. It doesn't mean that 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:34.400 at all. It just means it just means that there 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.960 are there will always be people who don't understand you, 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:45.640 or your potential, or your possibilities or your vision. And 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:48.520 that's okay. We're not about hating on people. We're just 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:51.880 about realizing, okay, I need to And by the way, 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:54.080 we're not just looking for people who tell us what 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:57.040 we want to hear. That's the opposite of what we need. 0:08:57.920 --> 0:09:03.120 But we're talking about people who people who genuinely love 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:05.600 us and care about us and will support us but 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:10.840 also give us intelligent, critical feedback, you know, when required. 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:13.679 So we don't need the haters, and we don't need 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:17.840 the over the top, gushy, backslapping, you know support group. 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.840 We don't need that because that can create problems of itself. 0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:24.760 But just realize that who you hang around with matters. 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.200 In other words, hang out with people who drag you up, 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:31.080 so that I kind of meshed seven and eight there. 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:34.840 So number nine is this, do new things again? What 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:37.400 are we talking about? We're talking about getting unstuck. Do 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:43.320 new things, step into unfamiliar territory. I know that when 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:46.480 I do new things with new people in new environments, 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.520 I expose myself to new ideas. I expose myself to 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:55.480 even different cultures and conversations and people when I do 0:09:55.559 --> 0:10:01.960 something unme all of a sudden, I'm doing something new 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:04.600 in a way that I've never done it, perhaps different place, 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:09.520 different experiences, and it opens my brain. It makes me 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:12.320 realize that I've been living in a corridor or an 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:17.440 echo chamber. At times, when we have new experiences, it 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:21.160 exposes us to things that we are generally not exposed 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:24.880 to in our day to day. Sometimes it builds or 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:30.320 arouses curiosity. Sometimes it creates awareness or insights. Sometimes it 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:35.400 gives us a different understanding. Sometimes it creates momentum. You know, 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:38.240 for example, the amount of people that I have worked 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:41.360 with over the years that have done something physical which 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:45.440 was a challenge for the first time, and I coached 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:47.920 them towards that. They did the work, they did the event, 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.160 they got the outcome, not me, but I supported and 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:53.120 coached them towards that. So somebody who'd never run in 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:58.479 their life, never run one kilometer, always considered themselves unfit, unhealthy, 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:03.320 a complete non athlete. People love trained up to eventually 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:06.320 do marathons, but even say a ten k or a 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:11.280 five k fun run, when something amazing happens, when people 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:15.840 do shit that they never thought they could do and 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:20.040 they get unstuck, they get unstuck, they get out of 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:27.400 the groundhog danus of overthinking to an extent anyway, But 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:30.400 what it does is it opens It opens new doors. 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:35.520 It opens possibilities and understanding of possibilities and understanding of potential. 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:39.200 Because when people do something that they never thought they 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:42.160 could do, instantly they have a new belief or the 0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:44.240 belief is I can run a marathon. I know because 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:47.199 I just ran one, or a half marathon. The belief 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:50.240 is like, oh wow, I actually have more capacity and 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.640 more potential than I believed. I got it wrong? What 0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:56.960 else did I get wrong? If I can do this, 0:11:57.160 --> 0:12:00.240 what else can I do if I can get out 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.679 of my own way and run a marathon, or register 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.120 a business, or build a business, or do a degree, 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:09.920 or lose thirty kilos or menda relationship or overcome a 0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:13.319 distractive habit. If I can do that, what else can 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:16.640 I do? And it's in the doing of especially new 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:22.760 things that we've never tried, that we change and that 0:12:22.840 --> 0:12:26.840 we open new doors and we create momentum. You know, 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:31.559 it seems I'm kind of weird perhaps that I say 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:35.880 I'm not particularly academic, But I'm not particularly academic. That's 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:38.679 just the truth. But I'm in the middle of this 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:43.920 academic journey right now. And apart from the you know, 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:47.560 the work and hopefully we'll see, hopefully the outcome of 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:50.440 a PhD and all of that stuff, which is, you know, interesting, 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:53.040 and I guess the good achievement and all that, But 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:56.240 you know what's really interesting for me is I just 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:59.280 know so much different stuff now. I just have a 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:03.880 different insight. And I'm not a better person than I was, 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:06.920 but I've had in the last four years of my 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:13.280 PhD journey, so many new experiences, new conversations, new insights 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:18.800 in new environments, being exposed to new ideas, and just 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:22.200 so much stuff that is so different from the rest 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:26.439 of my life that it's fucking mind blowing. And it 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:30.680 just and honestly like, what are we now do I'm 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:35.600 sixty next month, which is fucking ridiculous. But I've never 0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:39.720 been maybe I've been this excited, but I've never been 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:45.840 more excited. I don't think I've never been more curious, 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:50.560 like to do, to keep learning, to keep evolving, to 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:54.320 keep optimizing everything from my body to my brain, to 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:58.600 my knowledge, to my performance, to my emotional state, to 0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:01.880 my outcomes, to my relifeationships, to my business and brand 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:05.760 and all of those things. I'm so fucking excited because 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:11.720 my life is well. Fortunately, yeah, fortunately, I'm very blessed 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:15.520 and very lucky. I acknowledge that. But at the same time, 0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:20.000 I've worked like a motherfucker for forty years. I've born 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.160 in a great country with great parents, and so I 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:24.600 had lots of I had a running start, as most 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:27.920 of us who were born in Australia did not all. 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:32.600 But it's for me a lifetime of doing new things 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:37.080 and to stepping into unfamiliar territory, to exposing myself to 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:42.760 new things, hard things, difficult, unfamiliar things. For me, that's 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:50.320 what's kept me unstuck, opening businesses, building, helping build an industry, 0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:55.280 personal training, writing the first course, writing books, getting books 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:59.160 published and distributed, working on the radio, working in television, 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:02.280 going back to or start doing my first degree at 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:05.000 thirty six years of age, going back at fifty six, 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:11.480 you know, for another crack, just this capacity that we 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:16.720 all have to just keep doing new things, having new experiences, 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:21.640 that we might keep growing and learning and evolving. Number 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:24.560 ten is a bit deep and philosophical, but that's me 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:27.160 tap into you. Number ten is tap into your internal 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:31.960 sat Nab. And if you know me, you've heard this 0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:34.920 term many times. Your internal sat Nab is that kind 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:41.720 of knowing, that wisdom, that insight, that intelligence that comes 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:46.640 from I don't know where. Maybe it's instinct, maybe it's intuition, 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:49.000 maybe it's divine. I don't know what it is. I 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:50.920 really do not know what it is. But I do 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:54.560 know that I have that you have. That we all 0:15:54.640 --> 0:16:00.480 have a knowledge, a knowing, and an understanding and a 0:16:00.640 --> 0:16:06.800 level of wisdom and insight that is innate. I'm not 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:09.360 talking about things that we got taught or things that 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:13.040 we got told, or I'm not talking about acquired knowledge. 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:17.440 I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about in the 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:21.120 middle of the bullshit. There's always this still quiet voice. 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:25.840 There's always this deep seated knowing of what we should 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:29.560 do and shouldn't do. And sometimes we just drowned that 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:32.360 out with noise and with chaos and with busyness and 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:36.160 booze and drugs and lack of focus and attention. But 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:38.240 when we can be still, where we can hit the 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:41.720 pause button, when we can find some space and some 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:48.280 time and some quiet, then we can realize and come 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:52.640 to see and understand things that we don't when we're 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:54.800 in our head, when we're trapped in our head, when 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:57.240 we're trapped in the momentum and the chaos of life. 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:03.320 And this requires again, discipline, This requires some time. This 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:05.320 is not something that you can do in the middle 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:08.840 of the bullshit. This is something that requires you. Maybe 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:10.959 it means that five minutes, you know you have fourteen 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:13.920 hundred and forty minutes a day. Maybe it means five 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:19.280 minutes you sit somewhere and you try to switch off 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:21.120 and you just see what comes up for you. You 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.200 just feel what you feel, and maybe you get out 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:25.200 of your head and maybe you get into your heart. 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:29.359 Maybe you see what's going on in there. Number eleven, 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:31.639 we've got three more to go. Number eleven is keep trying. 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:33.679 And that's one of those things you think, well, you 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:35.680 wouldn't have to say that, But the truth is people 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.800 don't keep trying. The truth is people try and then 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:42.600 they stop. But if they kept trying, and they kept trying, 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:46.200 and they improvised and adapted, you know, and overcame and 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:49.720 survived and just figured it out and fell down and 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:52.560 got up and fell down and got up and you know, 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:56.280 fucked up and got back up, and you know, sometimes 0:17:56.320 --> 0:17:59.880 it just comes down to not giving up. That's not set, 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:02.680 that doesn't require three HDS. You didn't need to pay 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:05.800 for that. But some people just don't give up, and 0:18:05.800 --> 0:18:09.160 they're not, you know, and they outperformed people with more 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:12.320 talent and skill and a higher IQ and better genetics. 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:16.040 And I think part of the reason I've done okay 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:20.720 is that, like and for me, I've said this before, 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:25.200 because I wasn't the naturally gifted, talented, genetically blessed kid, 0:18:26.359 --> 0:18:28.560 I always had to work harder for everything. I had 0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:30.600 to work harder to get in shape and harder to 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:33.919 make sporting teams, and harder to get academic results, and 0:18:34.000 --> 0:18:37.760 harder to even fit in socially because I wasn't the 0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:41.920 naturally charming, charismatic, gifted kid. I wasn't that, and so 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:47.959 my mediocrity in some ways for me was a gift. 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:51.280 And it was the gift that turned into resilience. It 0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:54.639 was the gift that turned into the capacity that I 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:56.879 have to keep going to not give up, to be 0:18:56.960 --> 0:19:00.720 able to deal with what many people would call I 0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:04.679 will generally call them insight into you know what's working 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:10.320 and what's not. Fall down, Get up, Fall down six times, 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:17.720 get up seven. Number twelve. This is an interesting one. Actually, 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:21.199 now I'm going to do that one last number, so 0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:22.760 we'll call this one number twelve. You don't know what 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:24.760 I'm talking about, but I just switched my own list around. 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:28.919 Number twelve is build a new relationship with discomfort. I 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:32.240 talk about this too much, probably, but I'm saying this 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:34.639 for those of you who are relatively new and haven't 0:19:34.640 --> 0:19:36.480 heard much of me. I'm going to tell you that 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:39.960 our capacity to be able to deal with discomfort and 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:41.760 do things that we don't want to do and things 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:44.720 that are not fun, quick, easy, or painless, that is 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:50.320 a superpower that is a personal development superpower because when 0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:55.080 we can, when we can lean into the discomfort, when 0:19:55.119 --> 0:19:59.200 we can when we can embrace the hard thing, when 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:04.080 we can choose to physically, mentally, emotionally work against resistance, 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:06.840 just like we go to the gym, we work against resistance. 0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:12.040 The byproduct is strength. The byproduct is we build resilience 0:20:12.080 --> 0:20:14.800 and capacity and insight. We do a hard thing and 0:20:14.840 --> 0:20:19.600 we develop. And when we are prepared to change our 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:23.560 relationship with discomfort, that is, we are prepared to lean 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:26.800 into the pain in an intelligent, strategic, not a reckless 0:20:26.840 --> 0:20:30.600 or silly way, but prepared to embrace pain on a 0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:37.160 daily basis sometimes or embrace discomfort, then we accelerate our growth, 0:20:37.480 --> 0:20:41.199 We accelerate our learning, we accelerate our resilience. Every day 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:43.000 in my life, I do things that I don't want 0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:45.719 to do, things that are uncomfortable, but things that I 0:20:45.800 --> 0:20:48.000 need to do to live my best life. Every day, 0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:50.919 every day, I do things that if it was just 0:20:51.080 --> 0:20:54.159 up to my comfort level or what I would like 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:57.080 to do or what is fun or what is convenient, 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:02.720 there's shit that I would absolutely not do. But because 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:05.560 of my commitment to being the best version of me. 0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:09.239 I do that stuff on autopilot. I don't overthink it 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:13.159 because I realize that's the commitment, that's the price that 0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:17.200 I need to invest every day. That's the emotional, physical, 0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:19.560 mental investment that I need to make every day to 0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:23.280 create the outcomes I want to create. And the last one, 0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:30.160 Number thirteen is is is deep. Number thirteen is don't 0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:32.920 ask me why thirteen. I just came up with thirteen points. 0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:38.680 Number thirteen is consiting or mortality. One of the things 0:21:38.760 --> 0:21:43.760 I think about is where I am now, Not in 0:21:43.800 --> 0:21:45.720 a morbid way or a dark way, but where I 0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:53.919 am now in the totality of Craig Harper's life. I 0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:56.280 think about nine am sixty three, and I think about 0:21:56.320 --> 0:22:00.320 twenty twenty three, So nineteen sixty three September. I was 0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:04.240 born September twenty eight, So next month, September twenty eight, 0:22:04.280 --> 0:22:08.679 I'll be sixty And I go, wow, if I'm a 0:22:08.720 --> 0:22:13.720 typical Australian male, whatever that is, but I'm going to 0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:18.840 live if I'm typical to around eighty might be eighty 0:22:18.960 --> 0:22:20.840 one or eighty two, but let's just round it out 0:22:20.840 --> 0:22:23.440 to eighty. So if you go, well, Craig, if you're typical, 0:22:24.200 --> 0:22:29.639 your three quarters done. If I'm typical, let's hope I'm not. 0:22:29.720 --> 0:22:31.359 Let's hope I have a few more years than that. 0:22:32.400 --> 0:22:35.160 But if I'm typical, I have about twenty years to live. Now, 0:22:35.160 --> 0:22:37.560 I know that you might go, oh, that's fucking sad 0:22:37.640 --> 0:22:44.000 or dark or also real. Also potentially that's my reality. Potentially, 0:22:44.480 --> 0:22:46.800 like I said, hopefully I can live longer and better. 0:22:46.960 --> 0:22:51.760 But who knows? And so I think sometimes it's good to, 0:22:52.680 --> 0:22:57.120 albeit somewhat uncomfortable and scary, to think about where am 0:22:57.160 --> 0:23:01.960 I on my journey, on my human journey? How much 0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:04.920 longer on my human journey am I going to wait? 0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:10.440 How much longer am I going to feed myself bullshit, 0:23:10.800 --> 0:23:16.680 either cognitively, emotionally or literally eating shit crap food? How 0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:19.960 much longer am I going to waste my time, my talent, 0:23:20.040 --> 0:23:23.720 my potential? Am I going to do it till I'm seventy? 0:23:23.840 --> 0:23:27.320 Am I going to do it till I just dropped dead? 0:23:27.359 --> 0:23:32.200 One day? Like? What? In the context of what really 0:23:32.240 --> 0:23:34.879 matters to me, in the context of the totality of 0:23:34.920 --> 0:23:38.200 my life? This is my only life. I can't get 0:23:38.200 --> 0:23:41.680 another one, I can't get another body. And so for me, 0:23:41.760 --> 0:23:46.440 who looks at the you know, just I once drew 0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:49.080 a dot on the left hand side of my white board, 0:23:49.080 --> 0:23:52.280 a dot on the right, and then I kind of 0:23:52.600 --> 0:23:54.840 I've figured out my timeline where I was at, and 0:23:54.880 --> 0:23:57.280 I looked at the context of the totality of my 0:23:57.320 --> 0:24:00.240 life based on eighty years, and you know that that 0:24:00.320 --> 0:24:05.639 line was three quarters complete. I'm like, wow. And of 0:24:05.680 --> 0:24:07.720 course there are a few variables that hopefully I can 0:24:07.760 --> 0:24:11.560 influence and control about doing the next twenty years or longer, 0:24:11.560 --> 0:24:17.719 perhaps better. But this is great, sometimes as uncomfortable as 0:24:17.720 --> 0:24:19.480 it might be, but it is great to step back 0:24:19.520 --> 0:24:24.520 and go, fuck my life, my life, what am I doing? Like, 0:24:24.800 --> 0:24:27.760 where am I at? What's going on with my job 0:24:27.840 --> 0:24:30.280 and me and my relationships and my body and my staff, 0:24:30.320 --> 0:24:33.679 and my happiness and my purpose and my reason and 0:24:34.200 --> 0:24:37.320 my spiritual life and my religion norm whatever it is 0:24:37.359 --> 0:24:42.200 that matters to you, Like one day, you and I 0:24:42.760 --> 0:24:45.359 we ain't going to be here, yeah, and we need 0:24:45.400 --> 0:24:47.639 to think about well, we don't need to do anything, 0:24:47.680 --> 0:24:51.280 but I'm keen on figuring out, Okay, what am I 0:24:51.359 --> 0:24:53.399 going to do? Be? Create? Change? What am I going 0:24:53.440 --> 0:24:55.199 to do in the next twenty or thirty years? And 0:24:55.280 --> 0:24:58.240 it's not all about ticking boxes and achieving, and it's 0:24:58.280 --> 0:25:00.280 not all about that. I also want to have I 0:25:00.359 --> 0:25:03.680 also want to laugh. I also want joy. I also 0:25:03.760 --> 0:25:06.840 want to watch Netflix and ride motorbikes and fucking hang 0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:10.080 out with friends. But at the same time, I want 0:25:10.080 --> 0:25:13.560 to be the best version of me. I want to 0:25:13.600 --> 0:25:16.760 live as long as I can optimally. I want to 0:25:16.760 --> 0:25:18.520 eat great food. I want to live in a great body. 0:25:18.520 --> 0:25:20.840 I want to I want to have a great, healthy mind. 0:25:20.880 --> 0:25:23.439 I want a healthy brain. I want healthy relationships. I 0:25:23.440 --> 0:25:27.720 want to do shit that's rewarding, fulfilling, and fun. I 0:25:27.720 --> 0:25:33.120 don't want to let father time or mother nature take 0:25:33.160 --> 0:25:36.600