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Speaker 1: Approache Production. Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am

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Speaker 1: Neil the Muscle comments and.

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Speaker 2: In this episode, I speak with Trey Wallace, a former

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Speaker 2: footballer whose life spiraled into addiction and crime before finding redemption.

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Speaker 1: He always said, he goes, if you ever go to jail,

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Speaker 1: you're just going to walk in and flog the beers.

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Speaker 1: You can see there's certain dominance. Obviously there no one

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Speaker 1: will going to pick on you. Arf No. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to have to do this. Jaale was rock

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Speaker 1: bottom for me. That was me saying, Okay, I said,

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Speaker 1: this is the last time you'll see me. I'll never

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Speaker 1: put myself in a position to be back in here again.

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Speaker 1: But when I watched my wife give birth to my daughter,

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Speaker 1: it was like another flip, just switch and realistically, like

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Speaker 1: my whole life now revolves around her, Like it's not

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Speaker 1: all about me anymore. My whole life is her.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for coming on. I want to kind of

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Speaker 2: share your story and what you're up to now. So

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Speaker 2: we'll start off like talking about you growing up and

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Speaker 2: how you got into nitty gritty of who you are now.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I'll just let you take it away and

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Speaker 1: we'll get us with. I grew up in Logan in

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Speaker 1: Brisbane and it's almost like the slums of Brizzy. Was

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Speaker 1: raised by a very loving mother, pretty much a single

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Speaker 1: mom like my stepdad was always working away, so me

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Speaker 1: and my siblings always played semi professional football up until

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Speaker 1: like soccer up until I was eighteen. Went to school

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Speaker 1: for football. Whereas football is a subject at school, was

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Speaker 1: always so anti drugs, anti drinking, you know, so just

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Speaker 1: devoted to sport, and anyone that went the other way,

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Speaker 1: I was like, usually just.

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Speaker 2: Yucker the same, exactly the same.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because obviously, yeah, with our whole life, like outside

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Speaker 1: of school was football and then school was football. There

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Speaker 1: was like thirty forty of us reverse each other on

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Speaker 1: the weekends, but then we all went to school together

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Speaker 1: and played together as a team for school as well.

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Speaker 1: So it was just like our whole life we just

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Speaker 1: revolved around football and anything outside of that which is

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Speaker 1: external noise. Wow. But as soon as I turned eighteen,

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Speaker 1: I had my first PingER. Okay, how did that come about? Them?

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Speaker 2: Being so anti drugs and all like that? Who would

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Speaker 2: offer someone a PingER knowing that they I had.

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Speaker 1: One group of boys that was from another school, so

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Speaker 1: my childhood best made. It was actually my neighbor. So

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Speaker 1: the boys that he went to school with, they were

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Speaker 1: dabbling in pingeers and selling a bit thiss and that.

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Speaker 1: So as soon as we turned eighteen, they're he tried

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Speaker 1: one of these and me just sort of being the

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Speaker 1: external outside guy, good mate for them all, but obviously

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Speaker 1: not as crazy as them. So I was like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be ill losed and say oh no,

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Speaker 1: not for me. So I had a pinion and I

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Speaker 1: was like, fuck is the best thing ever. And that's

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Speaker 1: how it started. And legit two weeks later, every weekend

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Speaker 1: ping and ping and PingER and then legit two weeks

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Speaker 1: later I text my coach. I said enough enough. So

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Speaker 1: from a PingER, you gave up your football career? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: obviously it was only a couple hundred bucks a week,

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Speaker 1: not nothing crazy Like I wasn't playing, you know, just

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Speaker 1: just a local the BPL in Brisbane, so nothing crazy.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I just gave it all up. But also,

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Speaker 1: like my boss at the time, because I started my

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Speaker 1: plumbing apprenticeship, he was real stern. It was either football

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Speaker 1: or work and he was riding. I was like twelve

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Speaker 1: thirty hour days six seven days a week of work.

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Speaker 1: We couldn't leave on a Saturday to go to football,

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Speaker 1: and I was like it was just we just got

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Speaker 1: too much. So it was just like, you know, I

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Speaker 1: wasn't going to go professional with football, and I knew that.

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Speaker 1: So I was just like, you know what, trying to

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Speaker 1: wap my hands, you know, plumbings where my career or

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Speaker 1: see me long term. So I was like, yeah, sweet,

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Speaker 1: just give it all up.

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Speaker 2: So again you've gone from taking okay, one pinge and

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Speaker 2: you've got done. You've got the taste for you. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then what did it open up a kind of

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Speaker 2: a party scene for you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Pretty much. So the boys that gave me that

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Speaker 1: first thing, they started hanging around this guy. It's crazy

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Speaker 1: this story, head to toe, Tattoo's big juiced up, go

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Speaker 1: to his house and big gold chains, rolllexes, money counter,

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Speaker 1: Kilo's a meth on the counter, people coming and going

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Speaker 1: money girls, and I was like, what the fuck's going

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Speaker 1: on here? Like who is this bloke? And like just

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Speaker 1: you know, never worked, just set on his couch. Range

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Speaker 1: row was out of the front merks and I was

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Speaker 1: like coming and going with my mates because two of

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Speaker 1: them actually moved in with this bloke and I was

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Speaker 1: just like obsmack because I've never seen anything like that before.

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Speaker 1: And I was just like, what the fuck? Who is

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Speaker 1: this boy? And I just like instantly, just like I

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Speaker 1: was just like, this guy is a full gangster, Like

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Speaker 1: that's that's what I want.

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Speaker 2: That's how a lot of people get in taste. They

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Speaker 2: see what they've got and it tastes them in.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know why. I never have

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Speaker 1: my stepdad and he did like I think eight or

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Speaker 1: nine years, but I didn't meet him pre that. I

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Speaker 1: met him once he was out, but his mates were

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Speaker 1: always around. They always get on the pipe in the shed,

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Speaker 1: smoking speed, smoking weed, whatever they were doing. So I

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Speaker 1: was always around drugs, but I was always so against

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Speaker 1: them because of the football. But I was always around him.

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Speaker 1: But obviously jumping ahead a little bit. But that one

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Speaker 1: guy that I looked up to. It was the first

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Speaker 1: person I seen in jail, first person that called my

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Speaker 1: name and goes, is that utre? I said, who is that?

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Speaker 1: He goes, Oh, it's such and such. I said, you're

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Speaker 1: fucking kidding me. The one person that got me into

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Speaker 1: doing that. It was the first person I see in jail.

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Speaker 2: Wow, So when you look at someone like that and

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Speaker 2: then you kind of want that lifestyle, does that make

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Speaker 2: you turn and want that?

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Speaker 1: Did your mother know how about you being on there? No? No, no,

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Speaker 1: I kept it from her. She knew that I was

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Speaker 1: like doing pingers and whatnot, but she didn't know that

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Speaker 1: I eventually started selling them and making my own money

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Speaker 1: and whatnot. Because my mom, I was raised very religious.

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Speaker 1: My mom was like all my siblings were homeschool at

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Speaker 1: the church. My mom was at the church seventy four

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Speaker 1: times a week, like her whole life was a church.

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Speaker 1: It was actually my step that that got her into

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Speaker 1: the church. And then he actually went down and he

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Speaker 1: ended up getting cooked as again and I'm back in

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Speaker 1: jail for grievous bodily harm and torture. It was a

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Speaker 1: long story, and he ended up trying to kill the

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Speaker 1: pastor of the church and like all this crazy cool shit.

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Speaker 1: But me and my mom were always very close. It's

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Speaker 1: like still to this day, me and my mom are like,

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Speaker 1: I'm a firstborn, so like, now I could have done anything.

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Speaker 2: So how would you keep it from them? Surely you

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Speaker 2: mout where you moved out? Yeah, moved out because logan's

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Speaker 2: not that fucking small. Nah, But I moved out where was?

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Speaker 1: I moved out with my first missus when I was nineteen,

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Speaker 1: And that's when I sort of started doing what I

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Speaker 1: was doing because I was a second year apprentice and

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Speaker 1: moving out on my own with my misses who didn't

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Speaker 1: really I think she was working at the raffas or

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Speaker 1: doing eyelashes or something that couldn't really afford to live comfortably.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, oh, yes, sweet, I'll you know,

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Speaker 1: get some stuff and see how I go. And managed

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Speaker 1: to flick the whole lot in two days. And I

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Speaker 1: was like, fuck, okay, that was pretty easy. And I

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Speaker 1: just said to this and I said, bro, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I have money up front, I've got no money, but

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Speaker 1: can you just give me a shot. It might take

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Speaker 1: me four weeks, it might take me six weeks. I

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Speaker 1: just don't know. And I let you messaed him two

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Speaker 1: days later. I was like, but some more. He's like

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Speaker 1: you fucking kidding me. I was like, yeah, he's like really.

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, it's all gone. He's like perfect,

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Speaker 1: and yeah. I just sort of trembled on from there.

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Speaker 1: Well did you become on the radar with the cops

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Speaker 1: or you were under the radar. Well, I think I

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Speaker 1: was under the radar for a long time. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: then I sort of started hanging out with some like

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Speaker 1: not bad people, but like big time criminals, which is

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Speaker 1: when I think my whole life come undone, because Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately the boys that I was hanging out out with,

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Speaker 1: they're just like very very well.

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Speaker 2: Known, and then you become in their circle of friends. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then you're put on the reader.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because when I got out, the cops were just

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Speaker 1: dropping their names left, right and center. We knew where

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Speaker 1: for these people, the people, these people you need to

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Speaker 1: help us get them. And I was like, fuck, you

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Speaker 1: can get this much intel on me? They brought my

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Speaker 1: whole life undone. Like every single person I did business

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Speaker 1: with they named my first name. And I was like, fuck, boys,

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Speaker 1: if you guys got that much intel on me, you're

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Speaker 1: doing a pretty good job. Like so many times you've

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Speaker 1: been in Joe Walls once and what was that for?

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Speaker 1: So I was on parole and I got done for

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Speaker 1: what I'm currently on bail for. So had to go

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Speaker 1: straight in and serve out the rest of my parole,

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Speaker 1: which is trafficking.

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Speaker 2: Because it's funny because every time I have a guest on,

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Speaker 2: I always do some research and that and fucking Google

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Speaker 2: just like it's funny. When I brought your name up,

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Speaker 2: Google just brought up so much shit, and I'm thinking,

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Speaker 2: which one is the real world?

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Speaker 1: I got done for the TRT cleaning as well. I've

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Speaker 1: seen that, which my lawyers seem to think I'll be

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Speaker 1: okay because I invested money into an already established business

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Speaker 1: because my business partner was doing the wrong thing on

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Speaker 1: the side, which I was sort of half I sort

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Speaker 1: of knew, but we're sort of hoping that we get

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Speaker 1: away with it. But we both sort of knew that

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Speaker 1: he was doing the wrong thing out of his office.

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Speaker 1: But it was all scripted from the doctors. Everything was scripted.

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Speaker 1: But we were just sending out growth hormone from our

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Speaker 1: office when growth hormones went to come from a pharmacist,

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Speaker 1: because we got it script sent by the manufacturer where

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Speaker 1: it's made, and then we'd send it out with the scripts.

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Speaker 1: That's what we're getting done for. So they're trying to

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Speaker 1: PINNESST for trafficking steroids, but it was all scripted, So

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Speaker 1: my lay seemed to think I'll be okay on that.

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Speaker 1: But That's when I just got brought into all this

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Speaker 1: other shit as well. Okay yeah, because there was so

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Speaker 1: much and I just think, yeah, bro, which one do

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Speaker 1: I listen? Because I didn't.

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Speaker 2: It didn't actually have your name on it, but it

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Speaker 2: brings up yeah yeah, and that's why I was going, okay, wow.

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Speaker 1: So the tr TEA, I think it was crazy. We're

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Speaker 1: doing fifty to one hundred gand profit a week. Wow,

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Speaker 1: Like just stupid money and legit. When they rested me,

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Speaker 1: they seized everything, shut down all my bank accounts. I

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Speaker 1: literally come out to two thousand dollars Jesus and no job.

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Speaker 1: What was it like for you to go inside for

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Speaker 1: the first time? We were so my stepdad always had

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Speaker 1: his war stories about jail, so he'd always said, he goes,

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Speaker 1: if you ever go to jail, you just got to

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Speaker 1: walk in and flog the beers. Cunt. You can see.

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Speaker 1: It's just a certain dominance obviously, then no one will,

216
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Speaker 1: no one will pick on your afternoon. No. In my head,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to have to do this,

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Speaker 1: and like I'm not a fighter, bro, like I'm always

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Speaker 1: I've always been good to work with. I was never

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Speaker 1: a gronk, never did any any wrong with people? Never violent,

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Speaker 1: So like in my head, I was like, fuck, I'm

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Speaker 1: gon have to go in and flog the beers. Cut

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Speaker 1: in a second, and I'm sitting there at the door.

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Speaker 1: Better walk in. And I was like anxious when you

225
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Speaker 1: were inside, Yeah, sweating, target, Yeah, sweating. I was so

226
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Speaker 1: anxious full transparency. I was shitting myself because I was like,

227
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Speaker 1: I don't know what I about to walk into here?

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Speaker 1: Walk in? Hey, brother, how I this is my name?

229
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Speaker 1: Had a big lung, raady. But at the times I

230
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Speaker 1: think that I looked like I belonged to job. And

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Speaker 1: all the boys, fuck, bro, how are you done? I said, no,

232
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Speaker 1: it's my first time. You're like, fuck, you look like

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Speaker 1: you're done ten years. I'm like, nah, it was my

234
00:10:01,641 --> 00:10:04,081
Speaker 1: first time. And I straight away the boys that ran

235
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Speaker 1: in the un at the workers, they could see that

236
00:10:06,281 --> 00:10:08,921
Speaker 1: I didn't do drugs. I just fit, looked after myself,

237
00:10:09,281 --> 00:10:11,481
Speaker 1: full tatted up, not missing any teeth like everyone else

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Speaker 1: in jail, So like, all right, sweet, this this guy

239
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Speaker 1: must be all right. And the guy that knew me,

240
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Speaker 1: he was a part of that circle too. So the

241
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Speaker 1: boys that around the unit, they just flopped me straight away.

242
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Speaker 1: They said, oh, you need anything, you know, need this

243
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Speaker 1: need that we'll look after you. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: well fuck perfect. They got me a job the next

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Speaker 1: day and then straight away they're like, I'll trade you

246
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Speaker 1: to go up to the next unit. And I was like, fuck,

247
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Speaker 1: I just got in with these boys, feel uncomfortable, and

248
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Speaker 1: now I'm going to go up to another unit. So

249
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Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, here we go, and then walk

250
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Speaker 1: in their same deal. So anxious. I was like, but

251
00:10:36,681 --> 00:10:39,121
Speaker 1: the same deal. Everyone's just so respectful, so nice. Don't

252
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Speaker 1: get me wrong. There's the boys in there that like

253
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Speaker 1: run the units, so you don't want to fuck with.

254
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Speaker 1: But if you go in there be respectful. You went

255
00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:48,761
Speaker 1: and tasted, jomped up with anybody, they left you alone. Yeah,

256
00:10:49,161 --> 00:10:52,401
Speaker 1: to be honest, like I've heard down South, like Sydney

257
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Speaker 1: Melbourne jails are completely different to Queensland. Like from what

258
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Speaker 1: I've heard, queens And jails are nothing compared to down South.

259
00:10:59,921 --> 00:11:01,681
Speaker 1: So like it it was I was shitting myself, but

260
00:11:01,801 --> 00:11:04,041
Speaker 1: like it's legit, Like I love jail, to be honest,

261
00:11:04,241 --> 00:11:07,041
Speaker 1: Like it was so much fun. Really, you know what.

262
00:11:07,161 --> 00:11:09,001
Speaker 1: You're actually the second person to tell me that, Yeah,

263
00:11:09,281 --> 00:11:11,401
Speaker 1: we had a good group of boys at that second unit.

264
00:11:11,761 --> 00:11:13,521
Speaker 1: They were calling me the Commando because I was running

265
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Speaker 1: like thirty forty man boot camps outside of the yard

266
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Speaker 1: and like it was just good, good energy. The boys

267
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Speaker 1: would train every day, would get together like it was

268
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Speaker 1: just it was just fun. Like the boys that ran

269
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Speaker 1: the unit, they didn't allow drugs, like they were selling

270
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Speaker 1: the drugs, but they didn't let people shoot up in

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Speaker 1: front of everyone. They do, so it was good. It

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Speaker 1: was clean. The unit was good. If they wanted to

273
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Speaker 1: shoot up, I had to go do it away from everyone,

274
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Speaker 1: and everyone just respected that. So it was good. But

275
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Speaker 1: then when I went to the second jail at Brillin

276
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Speaker 1: twenty eight boys, I was the only one that didn't

277
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Speaker 1: use So how did you get into like mingle with that?

278
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Speaker 1: I would affect them that so I got very lucky.

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Speaker 1: I walked into my cell and the cell was immaculate Christine,

280
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Speaker 1: and I was like, holy fuck. And then my CELLI

281
00:11:53,401 --> 00:11:56,081
Speaker 1: come in and I said, bro, do you always have

282
00:11:56,161 --> 00:11:59,121
Speaker 1: it like this? And he goes yeah, I said why

283
00:11:59,601 --> 00:12:02,241
Speaker 1: he was just an OCD. I said, okay, I'm going

284
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:04,081
Speaker 1: to buy you a strip, which is what they're having

285
00:12:04,161 --> 00:12:06,121
Speaker 1: Jali's the bucks. I said, I'm going to buy you

286
00:12:06,201 --> 00:12:08,921
Speaker 1: a strip. I've got four weeks left. You keep your

287
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,961
Speaker 1: cell like this that strips yours. He's like, you're kidding, really,

288
00:12:12,081 --> 00:12:14,601
Speaker 1: I said yeah. He goes yeah, ma fucking oof, and

289
00:12:14,721 --> 00:12:17,121
Speaker 1: I was like sweet. But he was the only one

290
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Speaker 1: that didn't shoot up. He just snorted it. So I

291
00:12:19,481 --> 00:12:21,161
Speaker 1: was like, perfect, I'll let you do that, like I

292
00:12:21,201 --> 00:12:22,841
Speaker 1: can deal with that. But if you're going to shoot up, nah,

293
00:12:22,841 --> 00:12:25,001
Speaker 1: it's not happening, like not near. Do it out there

294
00:12:25,041 --> 00:12:28,601
Speaker 1: when we get outside, and he was great, so nice

295
00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:30,721
Speaker 1: and same deal, like you just treat everyone with respecting

296
00:12:30,801 --> 00:12:32,881
Speaker 1: jam and nine times out of ten. Can't speak for

297
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:35,721
Speaker 1: down South, but up here that's what I found. And

298
00:12:35,801 --> 00:12:38,001
Speaker 1: everyone said the same thing. Were you competing before you

299
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Speaker 1: went inside? So I literally got locked up three weeks

300
00:12:40,481 --> 00:12:43,881
Speaker 1: after my show. Oh wow, okay, so it's still banging

301
00:12:43,961 --> 00:12:46,921
Speaker 1: heaps of gear and I went when in my mystery

302
00:12:47,001 --> 00:12:49,001
Speaker 1: levels went through the roof test that was crashed. Sit

303
00:12:49,041 --> 00:12:52,361
Speaker 1: there watching a Straan idol, crying, getting letters from my family,

304
00:12:52,441 --> 00:12:53,961
Speaker 1: balling my eyes. I tell my selling I might bro

305
00:12:54,081 --> 00:12:56,121
Speaker 1: get out. I'm about to start crying reading these letters.

306
00:12:56,681 --> 00:12:59,441
Speaker 1: And then yeah, just just full of emotions obviously, coming

307
00:12:59,481 --> 00:13:01,881
Speaker 1: off gear with no no PCTs or anything like that.

308
00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:04,361
Speaker 1: So my emotions were just through the roof. When was

309
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Speaker 1: the addiction?

310
00:13:05,161 --> 00:13:05,281
Speaker 2: Was that?

311
00:13:05,401 --> 00:13:08,241
Speaker 1: Before that was? Well and truly before that was like

312
00:13:08,401 --> 00:13:11,441
Speaker 1: twenty I was twenty twenty one to about twenty three,

313
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Speaker 1: twenty four. And how bad was that? Would you say

314
00:13:13,721 --> 00:13:18,121
Speaker 1: minimum two balls a day to yourself? Yeah? That was

315
00:13:18,241 --> 00:13:20,881
Speaker 1: that was Monday, Thursday, then Thursday to Monday, like the

316
00:13:20,961 --> 00:13:24,601
Speaker 1: weekend from Thursday all the way to Monday. Why do

317
00:13:24,641 --> 00:13:25,801
Speaker 1: you think it got to a bad Is it because

318
00:13:25,841 --> 00:13:27,881
Speaker 1: you could get it so easy? I always had it

319
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Speaker 1: and I lived. I ended up moving out by myself

320
00:13:32,241 --> 00:13:35,241
Speaker 1: peak of COVID, So in an apartment, balled by myself.

321
00:13:35,521 --> 00:13:39,321
Speaker 1: Can't leave. Strippers come around? Sweet, have three four different

322
00:13:39,321 --> 00:13:41,841
Speaker 1: girls over every day. Strippers to come around. Yeah, the

323
00:13:41,961 --> 00:13:45,641
Speaker 1: waitresses all day every day, just get cooked as with girls. Fuck,

324
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Speaker 1: I must all loved you. I was great. That was great.

325
00:13:50,201 --> 00:13:53,721
Speaker 1: It was great. Wow, it was great. Don't get me wrong,

326
00:13:53,801 --> 00:13:56,001
Speaker 1: Like I had the best times. But I look back

327
00:13:56,041 --> 00:13:57,321
Speaker 1: now and I'm just like, you know, you were just

328
00:13:57,801 --> 00:13:59,761
Speaker 1: filling a void lonely, but you.

329
00:13:59,801 --> 00:14:02,281
Speaker 2: Were and you're competing at the same time. No, So

330
00:14:02,401 --> 00:14:05,001
Speaker 2: that was before, well and truly before, so you were

331
00:14:05,321 --> 00:14:07,281
Speaker 2: but when you were competing now, no, I wasn't.

332
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:09,761
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I was competing, I was off it. When

333
00:14:09,801 --> 00:14:12,641
Speaker 1: I competed, I was already maybe a year year and

334
00:14:12,681 --> 00:14:15,681
Speaker 1: a half sober and went to so jail. When I

335
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:18,401
Speaker 1: go to jail at twenty twenty three Christmas in twenty

336
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:21,201
Speaker 1: twenty three, I was one year sober and I competed

337
00:14:21,321 --> 00:14:24,681
Speaker 1: in October. So I was nine months sober when I competed.

338
00:14:25,561 --> 00:14:28,041
Speaker 2: So what made you think you've got to change and

339
00:14:28,081 --> 00:14:30,001
Speaker 2: get and become sober? How did that happen? Because it

340
00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:31,681
Speaker 2: would have been a big fucking cycle to do that.

341
00:14:31,921 --> 00:14:34,161
Speaker 1: So stop dah. So that's the thing. Like everyone asked

342
00:14:34,201 --> 00:14:35,281
Speaker 1: me that how'd you do it?

343
00:14:35,361 --> 00:14:36,041
Speaker 2: What was it? What was it?

344
00:14:36,401 --> 00:14:38,441
Speaker 1: And I said, man, I really wish I had a

345
00:14:38,521 --> 00:14:41,441
Speaker 1: method or some formula to give you, but I didn't.

346
00:14:41,601 --> 00:14:44,321
Speaker 1: I literally just met my missus and that's it. That's it.

347
00:14:44,761 --> 00:14:46,881
Speaker 1: It just stopped. I just ordered because she was reel

348
00:14:46,921 --> 00:14:48,481
Speaker 1: into the gym. She worked at the health through stort.

349
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,401
Speaker 1: Dont get me wrong. She was a stripper, but like

350
00:14:50,601 --> 00:14:52,801
Speaker 1: not like every other stripper, she didn't she didn't bend her.

351
00:14:53,281 --> 00:14:55,241
Speaker 1: She still had a full time job still at UNI.

352
00:14:55,401 --> 00:14:56,641
Speaker 1: So she was one of the ones that actually a

353
00:14:56,681 --> 00:14:58,721
Speaker 1: business woman. He was a hustler, don't get me wrong.

354
00:14:58,721 --> 00:15:01,081
Speaker 1: I loved a good time, but never bended, like if

355
00:15:01,121 --> 00:15:03,081
Speaker 1: I ever bended. For the first three weeks we were together,

356
00:15:03,481 --> 00:15:05,481
Speaker 1: she'd go home at like two am, and then I'd

357
00:15:05,481 --> 00:15:07,281
Speaker 1: go home to her whenever I just decided to finish up.

358
00:15:07,321 --> 00:15:10,201
Speaker 1: So she'd never do big nights. I just said to myself.

359
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:12,001
Speaker 1: We started training together in the gym, and she was

360
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:14,601
Speaker 1: like for a natural girl, like she's big, like mostly

361
00:15:14,801 --> 00:15:17,201
Speaker 1: like very much. Hether for a girl, And I was like, fuck,

362
00:15:17,281 --> 00:15:19,081
Speaker 1: I was fat, one hundred and twenty five Ki those

363
00:15:19,161 --> 00:15:21,881
Speaker 1: fat like just gross. And I was like, I can't

364
00:15:21,881 --> 00:15:24,721
Speaker 1: be in the gym looking like this with a partner

365
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:27,521
Speaker 1: like this, Like this is just fucked. So I just

366
00:15:27,561 --> 00:15:30,441
Speaker 1: straight away all the during the week stuff stopped, and

367
00:15:30,561 --> 00:15:33,561
Speaker 1: then after a few weeks, all the weekend stuff stopped

368
00:15:33,561 --> 00:15:33,881
Speaker 1: as well.

369
00:15:34,561 --> 00:15:36,841
Speaker 2: Wow, it's a big fucking ask man, Like, especially when

370
00:15:36,841 --> 00:15:39,281
Speaker 2: your familys what two three years, you've been doing that

371
00:15:39,361 --> 00:15:41,001
Speaker 2: hard and hard and you just stopped.

372
00:15:42,281 --> 00:15:44,601
Speaker 1: Or for a woman, yeah, must be worth it because

373
00:15:44,601 --> 00:15:47,121
Speaker 1: he's still with her. Yeah, married kids and she's poud,

374
00:15:47,201 --> 00:15:50,161
Speaker 1: So she's actually turned your life around. Pregnant at the moment. Yeah, wow,

375
00:15:50,481 --> 00:15:55,041
Speaker 1: yeah that's massive. I hate it. It's such a boring turnaround.

376
00:15:55,241 --> 00:15:57,681
Speaker 2: But it's not though, because like normally, you know, people

377
00:15:57,761 --> 00:15:59,521
Speaker 2: go through process like you know you have to do

378
00:15:59,641 --> 00:16:02,201
Speaker 2: this or they're fucking they've taken it on the slides too.

379
00:16:02,641 --> 00:16:04,961
Speaker 2: But then you've met someone and you've wanted to stop

380
00:16:05,041 --> 00:16:07,521
Speaker 2: because of hair and not look at you. You're still together.

381
00:16:08,521 --> 00:16:10,961
Speaker 1: And like the craziest thing was she never even said

382
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,321
Speaker 1: to me like you're a bit fucking crazy, like can

383
00:16:13,401 --> 00:16:17,401
Speaker 1: you turn it down? Like never, she just always backs

384
00:16:17,481 --> 00:16:19,721
Speaker 1: me and always love me. I think it's a cultural thing,

385
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:22,161
Speaker 1: like Asian Asian women they know how to treat their

386
00:16:22,201 --> 00:16:24,881
Speaker 1: men and look after men, and just straight away it

387
00:16:25,001 --> 00:16:26,521
Speaker 1: was just like wow, like I have to change, I

388
00:16:26,601 --> 00:16:28,121
Speaker 1: have to be better for this, for this. How did

389
00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:30,881
Speaker 1: you cop when you went inside? And Talia so she's

390
00:16:31,041 --> 00:16:33,641
Speaker 1: very headstrong, so I knew that she would be okay.

391
00:16:34,081 --> 00:16:35,681
Speaker 1: It was just being away from my daughter that killed me,

392
00:16:36,361 --> 00:16:40,481
Speaker 1: especially over Christmas, like in jail, everyone's miserable. Everyone's like,

393
00:16:40,561 --> 00:16:43,041
Speaker 1: oh fuck Christmas fun And I said, bro, no, no, no,

394
00:16:43,241 --> 00:16:45,121
Speaker 1: you want to bring that energy out here, bro, go

395
00:16:45,281 --> 00:16:47,281
Speaker 1: back in this ell. It's Christmas Day.

396
00:16:47,281 --> 00:16:47,401
Speaker 2: Bro.

397
00:16:47,481 --> 00:16:49,961
Speaker 1: I know you don't have good relationship with your family whatnot,

398
00:16:49,961 --> 00:16:52,041
Speaker 1: but some of us do. Some of us don't want

399
00:16:52,081 --> 00:16:54,081
Speaker 1: to be here. Someone's actually want to be with their family.

400
00:16:54,161 --> 00:16:55,641
Speaker 1: So you want to be negative and all that shit

401
00:16:55,921 --> 00:16:58,201
Speaker 1: go sit in this cell like, don't bring that out here, bro.

402
00:16:58,441 --> 00:17:00,681
Speaker 1: Some of us actually trying to enjoy the day. So

403
00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:02,601
Speaker 1: being away from my family and on a day that's

404
00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:05,721
Speaker 1: someone to be filled with love, family, joy, everything else.

405
00:17:06,001 --> 00:17:08,521
Speaker 1: That was hard. She came to visit you though, yeah,

406
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:10,920
Speaker 1: with the order. Didn't didn't know because I knew I

407
00:17:10,961 --> 00:17:12,720
Speaker 1: was only going to mean with three months because that's

408
00:17:12,721 --> 00:17:14,881
Speaker 1: when my parole finished, and I knew I had bail

409
00:17:14,921 --> 00:17:16,721
Speaker 1: on those new charges, so I knew I was getting

410
00:17:16,761 --> 00:17:18,920
Speaker 1: out in three months. So I told my miss I

411
00:17:19,001 --> 00:17:21,401
Speaker 1: just don't bring my daughter about your mom. Yeah, she come.

412
00:17:21,921 --> 00:17:23,640
Speaker 1: That was hard. I was surprised my mom when I

413
00:17:23,681 --> 00:17:25,521
Speaker 1: come out, and I thought I was gonna have to

414
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:28,801
Speaker 1: call the ambulance when she seen me just hysterically crying,

415
00:17:29,441 --> 00:17:30,281
Speaker 1: couldn't even breathe.

416
00:17:31,481 --> 00:17:33,761
Speaker 2: I'm already asking because you haven't brought them up, But

417
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,681
Speaker 2: what about your actual real dad.

418
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,561
Speaker 1: So I didn't meet my dad until I was six,

419
00:17:39,561 --> 00:17:42,201
Speaker 1: and we never had a good relationship till I was eighteen,

420
00:17:42,921 --> 00:17:45,561
Speaker 1: and even then, Like, if it wasn't for mysel because

421
00:17:45,561 --> 00:17:48,041
Speaker 1: me and my stepmom are very very close, So if

422
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,160
Speaker 1: it wasn't for me and her, me and dad probably

423
00:17:50,281 --> 00:17:53,081
Speaker 1: never would have had a good, strong relationship. But now,

424
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,521
Speaker 1: like we're pretty good now. Don't get me wrong, We're

425
00:17:55,521 --> 00:17:57,561
Speaker 1: not great, Like you know, we don't ring each other

426
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,001
Speaker 1: every day, but we still catch up weekly. Was that

427
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,400
Speaker 1: a problem with you growing up? Do you think? Or

428
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,400
Speaker 1: because you had your step dad, my stepdad, But like

429
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,561
Speaker 1: fortunately a lot of my family, like his sister, my stepdad,

430
00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:10,721
Speaker 1: or just filled my head with negative shit about my

431
00:18:10,721 --> 00:18:12,561
Speaker 1: old boy. So like in my head, I just had

432
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,240
Speaker 1: this negative picture about him anyway, So I didn't really

433
00:18:15,281 --> 00:18:17,440
Speaker 1: give a fuck that me and him weren't close. It

434
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,440
Speaker 1: never bothered me, and I always had my stepdad, so

435
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,521
Speaker 1: as much of a he was violent, aggressive, abusive towards

436
00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:25,041
Speaker 1: my mom, Like did you witness that? Yeah, you did

437
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,481
Speaker 1: watch him my mum a few times. Yeah. Oh wow

438
00:18:27,561 --> 00:18:28,041
Speaker 1: as a kid.

439
00:18:28,321 --> 00:18:31,721
Speaker 2: Oh that feel just funny because I've grown up with

440
00:18:31,921 --> 00:18:35,761
Speaker 2: that and I've seen that from my parents. And it's

441
00:18:35,761 --> 00:18:38,281
Speaker 2: funny how I resent him at the time, but when

442
00:18:38,321 --> 00:18:40,641
Speaker 2: I got older, it's like it's just forgotten.

443
00:18:40,801 --> 00:18:42,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean. At the time, I

444
00:18:42,481 --> 00:18:43,880
Speaker 1: want to bash him. You know what I mean. I

445
00:18:43,921 --> 00:18:46,440
Speaker 1: wouldn't get old. I was very young, but I was

446
00:18:46,481 --> 00:18:48,761
Speaker 1: always lived in fear with him because he was just

447
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,321
Speaker 1: a psycho. Like every day coming home, if we said

448
00:18:52,321 --> 00:18:54,441
Speaker 1: hello when he walked in the door and he said

449
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:55,920
Speaker 1: hello back, we knew it was going to be an

450
00:18:55,961 --> 00:18:58,840
Speaker 1: okay afternoon. But if we didn't say hello back, we knew, like, okay,

451
00:18:58,961 --> 00:19:00,561
Speaker 1: let's just go to our room and don't come out.

452
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,400
Speaker 1: Oh wow, because we just we just knew it was

453
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,721
Speaker 1: going to be a rough afteroon of everybody. And then

454
00:19:04,721 --> 00:19:07,920
Speaker 1: my left him, but never divorced him because she was

455
00:19:07,921 --> 00:19:10,961
Speaker 1: always too scared to actually officially leave him. And then

456
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:16,721
Speaker 1: well she just recently not long divorced him. Yeh yes.

457
00:19:16,801 --> 00:19:19,360
Speaker 1: But when they split, he said, so this is how

458
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,681
Speaker 1: he lives his life because he's been such a funk

459
00:19:21,721 --> 00:19:24,640
Speaker 1: with his whole life. He tries to make himself feel

460
00:19:24,681 --> 00:19:27,681
Speaker 1: better by looking after people. So he'll taking these people

461
00:19:27,721 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 1: from because he went to jail and when he was

462
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,041
Speaker 1: in jail, he made all these friends and said, oh, yeah,

463
00:19:32,041 --> 00:19:33,721
Speaker 1: when you get out, come live with me after you

464
00:19:33,801 --> 00:19:36,080
Speaker 1: give you a job. He had this kid come live

465
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:39,281
Speaker 1: with him, and this kid got lippy on the piss

466
00:19:39,561 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 1: and I said, I was like, but I'm just give

467
00:19:41,001 --> 00:19:42,521
Speaker 1: your heads up. If you keep talking shit like, I'm

468
00:19:42,521 --> 00:19:44,041
Speaker 1: going to flog the fuck out of you, and I

469
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,041
Speaker 1: may just keep going. I said, I just flogged the

470
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:49,400
Speaker 1: fuck out of this kid. And kid went to the cops,

471
00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:52,801
Speaker 1: told him my stepdad my said, and picked him up,

472
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:57,640
Speaker 1: kidnapped him, tortured him, went to jail for GBH and torture,

473
00:19:58,761 --> 00:20:01,281
Speaker 1: and I was gonna let him rot because I was like,

474
00:20:01,321 --> 00:20:03,041
Speaker 1: you know, because he was going around to my mom's house,

475
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,161
Speaker 1: trying to bask my mom, threaten my siblings, ringing my sister,

476
00:20:06,201 --> 00:20:07,521
Speaker 1: saying I'm going to kill you all. I'm going to

477
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 1: kill the pastor of the church. And so I was like,

478
00:20:10,481 --> 00:20:12,001
Speaker 1: you know what's sweet, it's in jail. He can't do

479
00:20:12,041 --> 00:20:14,241
Speaker 1: any harm. Then, Like something inside of me just was

480
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 1: like he raised me. Like you said before, like as

481
00:20:17,681 --> 00:20:19,481
Speaker 1: you get older, you sort of just forget. But it

482
00:20:19,561 --> 00:20:22,441
Speaker 1: wasn't so much forgetting. It was like because I worked

483
00:20:22,481 --> 00:20:25,041
Speaker 1: with him from like fifteen sixteen up until I was eighteen,

484
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:27,441
Speaker 1: on and off on weekends. I didn't know any work.

485
00:20:27,481 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 1: I just go work with him, and he just instilled

486
00:20:30,001 --> 00:20:32,160
Speaker 1: this real good work ethic in me. Like it was

487
00:20:32,201 --> 00:20:33,761
Speaker 1: a bad way to do it because he just screamed

488
00:20:33,761 --> 00:20:36,801
Speaker 1: me run, just just abused us on site. I was

489
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,241
Speaker 1: just we're just working hard out of fear. But like

490
00:20:39,441 --> 00:20:42,241
Speaker 1: I took that into life, like my planning apprenticeship, everything

491
00:20:42,281 --> 00:20:44,281
Speaker 1: that I did wrong construction, I just I was always

492
00:20:44,281 --> 00:20:46,761
Speaker 1: a good worker. And so in my head, I was

493
00:20:46,801 --> 00:20:49,321
Speaker 1: like I have this crazy work ethic because of him.

494
00:20:49,561 --> 00:20:51,561
Speaker 1: So without him, I wouldn't be where I am today.

495
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:55,481
Speaker 1: So I always had that like sense of attachment, even

496
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:58,360
Speaker 1: though it was like my sych now goes, mate, your

497
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,440
Speaker 1: stepdad's a flog, Like you shouldn't have this connection to him.

498
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 1: And when he was in jail, I was like, I

499
00:21:03,281 --> 00:21:06,041
Speaker 1: can't just let him rot money. He didn't have a lawyer.

500
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 1: He was just going to use the Jude lawyer, probably

501
00:21:07,681 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 1: sitting there for years, and I was like, I'll just

502
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,441
Speaker 1: get my lawyer. I wrung her up or my set

503
00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:14,680
Speaker 1: resident in here. I don't know what's going on. I

504
00:21:14,721 --> 00:21:16,640
Speaker 1: don't know anything that's gone on with him, what he did.

505
00:21:16,801 --> 00:21:18,561
Speaker 1: Just can you just fucking sort it, tell me what

506
00:21:18,681 --> 00:21:21,441
Speaker 1: I just let me know and then shoot up getting

507
00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:23,360
Speaker 1: him out and just still just you know, he's one

508
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 1: of those guys that the world owes him everything, but

509
00:21:26,761 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 1: he doesn't do anything to fix his current position. Just

510
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:33,160
Speaker 1: always not doing anything to better himself. He's had like

511
00:21:33,241 --> 00:21:35,001
Speaker 1: eight jobs since he's got a dad because he's like,

512
00:21:35,481 --> 00:21:37,881
Speaker 1: my boss is a winker. I'm like, mane, you don't

513
00:21:37,961 --> 00:21:40,241
Speaker 1: have much of an option, Like you don't have a house,

514
00:21:40,281 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 1: you don't any want to live, you don't have the

515
00:21:42,681 --> 00:21:44,801
Speaker 1: opportunity like this to be going through jobs and jobs

516
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 1: like he's gonna have to suck it up because he's

517
00:21:47,521 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 1: always worked for himself, So now having to abide to

518
00:21:50,441 --> 00:21:53,281
Speaker 1: someone and being told what to do, he's never like that.

519
00:21:54,441 --> 00:21:57,041
Speaker 1: I've cut him off now cut him off now because

520
00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:58,801
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago he went one to my mum's

521
00:21:58,801 --> 00:22:01,681
Speaker 1: and attacked my sister. So I just after that, he said,

522
00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:03,241
Speaker 1: you know what, even though you can see the size

523
00:22:03,241 --> 00:22:06,081
Speaker 1: of you, yeah, and he still know that he's got

524
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:10,081
Speaker 1: no fear. Wow, absolute psycho. Moving on. When you came

525
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 1: out of jail, Like, how long was that? Twenty two

526
00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:16,321
Speaker 1: years ago? In February a year and a half ago roughly. Okay,

527
00:22:16,801 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 1: So what's going for your mind now? What to do?

528
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,721
Speaker 2: Like, because you've gone in and you had that goal

529
00:22:22,761 --> 00:22:24,961
Speaker 2: and persona of what you were doing. Now you've come

530
00:22:25,041 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 2: out totally, everything's going to change in your life. What

531
00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:31,721
Speaker 2: set the mind to do that? Because a lot of

532
00:22:31,761 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 2: people who go to jail just think I'm going to

533
00:22:33,241 --> 00:22:35,001
Speaker 2: go back out and fucking get back into what I'm

534
00:22:35,041 --> 00:22:35,441
Speaker 2: doing again.

535
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 1: Well for me, like, so there's studies behind men having

536
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:41,481
Speaker 1: to hit rock bottom before they want to make a change,

537
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,241
Speaker 1: but jail for me, jail was rock bottom for me.

538
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 1: That was me saying, okay, that's it. I refuse to

539
00:22:47,241 --> 00:22:48,521
Speaker 1: be away, Like obviously I'm going to go back to

540
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,801
Speaker 1: jail for my current charges. But I was like I'm

541
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,121
Speaker 1: I told, and I told all the nings inside. I said,

542
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,041
Speaker 1: this is the last time you'll see me, except for

543
00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:57,160
Speaker 1: if I have to come back for on these current charges.

544
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,481
Speaker 1: I will never put myself in a position to be

545
00:22:59,561 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 1: back in here again. And when I got out, I

546
00:23:03,481 --> 00:23:06,561
Speaker 1: had no qualifications, I had no lost all my clinics,

547
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,081
Speaker 1: lost legit, everything like the godfather and my daughter went

548
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:13,640
Speaker 1: informing on me. I had nothing, and in jail, I

549
00:23:13,761 --> 00:23:16,041
Speaker 1: was like trying to journal as to what I can

550
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,400
Speaker 1: brainstorm what I can do, Go on to earthwork, go

551
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 1: and do this, go and do that.

552
00:23:20,481 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 2: And I was like.

553
00:23:20,961 --> 00:23:23,321
Speaker 1: I got out and I was like my rent at

554
00:23:23,321 --> 00:23:25,281
Speaker 1: the time was crazy. It's like fourteen hundred a week.

555
00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:26,601
Speaker 1: So I was like, fuck, I still have to cover

556
00:23:26,721 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: that until my lease is up. Still, I have put

557
00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:30,801
Speaker 1: a roof over my head still with my family, I

558
00:23:30,961 --> 00:23:33,241
Speaker 1: have to provide. What can I do? So I was like,

559
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:34,561
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to suck it up and get back

560
00:23:34,561 --> 00:23:37,201
Speaker 1: to plumbing. And I sold every till I ever had

561
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:39,881
Speaker 1: when I moved into that first apartment because the one

562
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,360
Speaker 1: there was no room for my trailer and too. I

563
00:23:41,441 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: was like, I'm never going back to plumbing. I was

564
00:23:43,761 --> 00:23:46,201
Speaker 1: making crazy money. Got out and I was like, fuck,

565
00:23:46,321 --> 00:23:47,881
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to go back to plumbing. I rung

566
00:23:47,961 --> 00:23:50,721
Speaker 1: one mate that was working in civil YEP and I said,

567
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:52,721
Speaker 1: can you must old mate if you put me on,

568
00:23:52,961 --> 00:23:54,841
Speaker 1: I said, I've got an ankle monitor, I'm here to work.

569
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 1: I need to provide let me know. He put me

570
00:23:57,921 --> 00:24:01,721
Speaker 1: on and it was fucked in Sybil in the sun

571
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 1: all day, just big excavators on a shovel. I was

572
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 1: just like, there's this. Really my life went out and

573
00:24:08,561 --> 00:24:10,321
Speaker 1: when I got out two weeks later, they whacked me

574
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,801
Speaker 1: with all these charges. But I'm fucked. Definitely go back

575
00:24:13,801 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 1: to jail. And my lawyer goes, Okay, I'm gonna give

576
00:24:17,241 --> 00:24:19,881
Speaker 1: your heads up. Been a minimum three four years before

577
00:24:19,921 --> 00:24:22,681
Speaker 1: you get sentenced. I said, fuck, really, he goes, yeah,

578
00:24:22,721 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 1: he goes. Committals a booked out sixteen months in advance.

579
00:24:25,041 --> 00:24:27,081
Speaker 1: It's another two years from a committal, like, he goes,

580
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:28,881
Speaker 1: you got plenty of time and we can drag it out.

581
00:24:29,041 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 1: So if you want to drag it out further, we can.

582
00:24:30,961 --> 00:24:33,160
Speaker 1: I said, no, perfect, that's enough. And I got it.

583
00:24:33,241 --> 00:24:36,360
Speaker 1: As you get into the union sites doing plumbing after

584
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:39,120
Speaker 1: about three four months and civil and got into the

585
00:24:39,241 --> 00:24:42,880
Speaker 1: union sites. And don't get me wrong, good money and

586
00:24:43,001 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 1: good work life balance like they're six thirty till two

587
00:24:45,281 --> 00:24:47,521
Speaker 1: thirty every day, pick up my doord on the way home,

588
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 1: still training before work. So I had a good balance

589
00:24:49,441 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 1: with work, good routine. But the drugs and alcohol on

590
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 1: those sites were just like something I couldn't believe and

591
00:24:56,761 --> 00:25:00,201
Speaker 1: the toxicity between men when it comes to their kids,

592
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:04,801
Speaker 1: their wives, alcoholism, drug addicts. Like it was a better

593
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,241
Speaker 1: fe leaving that job site than when I was coming

594
00:25:07,241 --> 00:25:11,041
Speaker 1: out of jail because I was around more men that

595
00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 1: were drug addict, adduct it to alcohol, hated their missus,

596
00:25:14,801 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 1: hated their kids. You talk to anyone on the job

597
00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: site about having kids or getting married, Oh, mate, your

598
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,200
Speaker 1: life fucked now. It's like, well, bro, you go to

599
00:25:22,241 --> 00:25:24,561
Speaker 1: the pub every afternoon, you snort rack with twenty year

600
00:25:24,561 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 1: olds on a job site, No wonder your missus hates it,

601
00:25:27,241 --> 00:25:28,841
Speaker 1: and then you wonder why you got to shit home

602
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,721
Speaker 1: and the drugs. Like the cycle is Monday to Wednesday.

603
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,481
Speaker 1: They're all cooked and coming down from the weekend. Thursday Friday,

604
00:25:36,521 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 1: they're all getting on it, so they're happy. They breath

605
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,201
Speaker 1: them around on a job site's great. So Thursday Friday,

606
00:25:42,241 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 1: the job site's good because the energy is hi. Everyone's

607
00:25:44,201 --> 00:25:46,521
Speaker 1: had a few bombs. And I just said to myself,

608
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: like I worked so hard to get away from this

609
00:25:49,561 --> 00:25:52,281
Speaker 1: that I'm now surrounded by more of it than ever.

610
00:25:52,921 --> 00:25:55,801
Speaker 1: And I was just like, I'm not doing this. And

611
00:25:55,961 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: this year, I said to myself and Christmas holidays. Over

612
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,681
Speaker 1: the seventh January, I said, I'm going to give myself

613
00:26:00,761 --> 00:26:03,161
Speaker 1: till March to get out. I don't know what I'm

614
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 1: going to do, but I understand to get out. I

615
00:26:05,321 --> 00:26:08,961
Speaker 1: can't keep living my life like this. And I walked

616
00:26:09,001 --> 00:26:10,521
Speaker 1: in on the sixth of Jenuary and I said to

617
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 1: my former and I said, brother, got me to the

618
00:26:12,281 --> 00:26:14,880
Speaker 1: end of the month, end of Jenerary. And he goes, yep, perfect,

619
00:26:14,921 --> 00:26:16,801
Speaker 1: all good. You give me plenty enough time to get

620
00:26:16,801 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 1: another boy. Sweet. That was on a Wednesday. Walking on

621
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,561
Speaker 1: the friday, I said, Brother, today's my last day. I'm

622
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,601
Speaker 1: not doing this. I'm just so mentally checked out. I'm

623
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,321
Speaker 1: not productive, I'm costing you money. I just feel shit

624
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 1: and i just hate it. So I'm just today's my

625
00:26:31,921 --> 00:26:34,761
Speaker 1: last day. I'm done. He goes, yes, Sweet, I respect that.

626
00:26:34,961 --> 00:26:37,120
Speaker 1: I can't blame you. And I didn't even know I

627
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,241
Speaker 1: was going to go onto coaching at that time. I

628
00:26:39,281 --> 00:26:41,241
Speaker 1: always had a very big love for coaching and health

629
00:26:41,241 --> 00:26:42,961
Speaker 1: and fitness because it's pretty much what saved my life

630
00:26:42,961 --> 00:26:46,201
Speaker 1: to an extent. And I've had many coaches and still

631
00:26:46,281 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: had a coach when I got out, and I've always

632
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,161
Speaker 1: tried to help people through sobriety because obviously my journey

633
00:26:51,201 --> 00:26:53,001
Speaker 1: with sobriety, so I always tried to make it on

634
00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:55,321
Speaker 1: social media with my sobriety story back in the day.

635
00:26:55,321 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 1: If you go through my old tiktoks, is like stories

636
00:26:57,201 --> 00:26:59,881
Speaker 1: of videos of me trying to help people with sobriety.

637
00:27:00,521 --> 00:27:02,721
Speaker 1: Never really went anywhere, but I always got a lot

638
00:27:02,761 --> 00:27:05,041
Speaker 1: of fulfillment out of trying to help people with sobriet

639
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:07,801
Speaker 1: And I said to myself, like, you know, I can

640
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: capitalize on something. I can help people, and like my

641
00:27:10,961 --> 00:27:12,561
Speaker 1: coach is Like I was just looking at my coach

642
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,120
Speaker 1: and how much we work together, and I was like,

643
00:27:14,481 --> 00:27:16,561
Speaker 1: I can do this, Like I can do exactly what

644
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,920
Speaker 1: you're doing. I don't have the knowledge like him, but

645
00:27:19,001 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 1: I was, I have very good knowledge when it comes

646
00:27:21,001 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 1: to health and fitness. I don't need to know what

647
00:27:22,721 --> 00:27:25,001
Speaker 1: he knows because he does competing people want to lose

648
00:27:25,041 --> 00:27:26,561
Speaker 1: weight and can put on muscle. I can do that,

649
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:29,400
Speaker 1: and I can help people mentally. So I was like,

650
00:27:29,721 --> 00:27:32,120
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going a coach. And on my

651
00:27:32,201 --> 00:27:34,041
Speaker 1: last day of work on that Friday, a guy that

652
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 1: I look up to on social media, Ryan Bennett, he

653
00:27:37,001 --> 00:27:40,001
Speaker 1: big online coach down in Sydney, loves calling people fat

654
00:27:40,041 --> 00:27:42,761
Speaker 1: and always talking about how man are just useless these days.

655
00:27:43,441 --> 00:27:45,961
Speaker 1: And he launched. He goes doing a five grand course

656
00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:47,921
Speaker 1: for new coaches to learn how to become a coach,

657
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: and I was like, fuck, Bro. I was like, today's

658
00:27:50,281 --> 00:27:53,201
Speaker 1: my last day of plumbing, like when you're launching this course,

659
00:27:53,481 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: and he goes, oh, Bro, not to the end of January.

660
00:27:55,961 --> 00:27:58,120
Speaker 1: So I just spent the whole Genuary from when I

661
00:27:58,201 --> 00:28:00,841
Speaker 1: left till the end of Jenerary just doing as much

662
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,281
Speaker 1: study as I could. And then as soon as he

663
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 1: launched his course, I jumped on in. But as soon

664
00:28:06,481 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 1: as I launched, I was coaching in February. I had

665
00:28:09,041 --> 00:28:11,761
Speaker 1: thirty clients in the first three weeks, and he was

666
00:28:11,801 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 1: like he kept asking me. He goes, Bro, you're doing

667
00:28:13,321 --> 00:28:15,441
Speaker 1: all the modules and I was like, nah, He's like why,

668
00:28:15,521 --> 00:28:17,801
Speaker 1: I said, but I've got thirty clients. He's like how,

669
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: I said, I don't fucking know. I just posted on

670
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,360
Speaker 1: Instagram where all these people were pointing my stories and shit,

671
00:28:22,801 --> 00:28:25,521
Speaker 1: and every week after week after week, You've done those modules,

672
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,201
Speaker 1: done those modules. I'm like, nah, He's like why, I said,

673
00:28:29,201 --> 00:28:30,920
Speaker 1: but I don't need it. Like, I've got all these

674
00:28:30,961 --> 00:28:33,561
Speaker 1: clients and he wanted me to do like automated emails

675
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 1: and this whole nurturing process, and I was like, Bro,

676
00:28:35,521 --> 00:28:37,680
Speaker 1: it's not me. It's just fake. I'm not doing that.

677
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 1: People want to work with me. It's because they want

678
00:28:39,561 --> 00:28:41,281
Speaker 1: to work with you, not because I've put them through

679
00:28:41,281 --> 00:28:44,361
Speaker 1: a twelve week nurturing process and automated emails and paid

680
00:28:44,401 --> 00:28:46,161
Speaker 1: ads and all that shit. I said, it's not me, bro,

681
00:28:46,441 --> 00:28:48,401
Speaker 1: it's just fake. It's just it's money hungry and it's

682
00:28:48,401 --> 00:28:51,041
Speaker 1: just fake. It's not something I'm going to do here.

683
00:28:51,081 --> 00:28:52,921
Speaker 1: I am, bro fucking six months. Why do you think

684
00:28:52,961 --> 00:28:56,921
Speaker 1: he went that big? It's because of my story. I've

685
00:28:56,961 --> 00:28:59,841
Speaker 1: been a drug addict, I've been fat, I've lived every

686
00:28:59,921 --> 00:29:02,921
Speaker 1: aspect that ninety percent of people have lived. So many

687
00:29:02,961 --> 00:29:05,001
Speaker 1: people are fat, so many people are hard on drug

688
00:29:05,201 --> 00:29:07,721
Speaker 1: and alcohol. And the fact that I'm so open about

689
00:29:07,761 --> 00:29:10,121
Speaker 1: it on my social media. You're open and your real

690
00:29:10,201 --> 00:29:13,641
Speaker 1: by Yeah. So it's the relatability that people love. Every

691
00:29:13,681 --> 00:29:15,761
Speaker 1: time someone comes to me, they're like, bro, we just

692
00:29:15,841 --> 00:29:18,401
Speaker 1: love your fucking content. Okay. Just it's like you're talking

693
00:29:18,481 --> 00:29:21,881
Speaker 1: to us through your content. I'm like, that's exactly why

694
00:29:21,921 --> 00:29:25,401
Speaker 1: I do it? Bro? Wow? Would you compete? I'm going

695
00:29:25,441 --> 00:29:28,001
Speaker 1: again this time next year? You are? Yeah? October next year?

696
00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: For which one?

697
00:29:29,401 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 2: Was that one?

698
00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:33,841
Speaker 1: Which? Yeah? So that okay, yeah, okay, I just think

699
00:29:33,881 --> 00:29:35,881
Speaker 1: you'll go with that. I don't know obviously on a

700
00:29:35,921 --> 00:29:38,601
Speaker 1: time frame, going back to jail in twenty twenty eight. So,

701
00:29:38,801 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: like it was up to me, I wouldn't step on

702
00:29:40,481 --> 00:29:42,641
Speaker 1: stage for the next five years. It was just to

703
00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:44,801
Speaker 1: keep getting bigger and rigging, because I know that to

704
00:29:44,921 --> 00:29:47,801
Speaker 1: be really competitive, I need to put on twenty thirty kilos,

705
00:29:48,321 --> 00:29:50,001
Speaker 1: like I've lean muscle tissue. What are you know? What

706
00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:53,841
Speaker 1: do you wa now? One fourteen? You're one fourteen? Yeah?

707
00:29:54,281 --> 00:29:57,561
Speaker 1: I was tall? Are you six and you're one fourteen? Yeah?

708
00:29:58,641 --> 00:29:59,961
Speaker 1: You look fucking bigger than that? Yeah?

709
00:30:00,361 --> 00:30:03,281
Speaker 3: Fuck me dad, Yeah one fourteen, I'm one twenty six.

710
00:30:03,361 --> 00:30:06,561
Speaker 3: They don't look that big. Fuck me, Dad must be

711
00:30:06,601 --> 00:30:12,401
Speaker 3: taking that long shit. Fucking my fucking supplier is not good.

712
00:30:14,281 --> 00:30:15,961
Speaker 1: But how many times? How many times you trained into

713
00:30:16,161 --> 00:30:16,441
Speaker 1: a week?

714
00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:16,601
Speaker 2: Now?

715
00:30:17,241 --> 00:30:20,961
Speaker 1: Five? Five? How many hours a day? What an hour

716
00:30:21,041 --> 00:30:23,321
Speaker 1: to and a half if legs about out and a half,

717
00:30:23,361 --> 00:30:24,961
Speaker 1: two hours everything else about an hour?

718
00:30:25,601 --> 00:30:29,401
Speaker 2: Pretty fucking big for one fourteen like I was one

719
00:30:29,521 --> 00:30:31,521
Speaker 2: fifteen when I competed last, and I didn't look that

720
00:30:31,601 --> 00:30:34,441
Speaker 2: big when I was done. Also, like when we spoke

721
00:30:34,641 --> 00:30:37,881
Speaker 2: like of offline a couple of days ago, with the

722
00:30:37,921 --> 00:30:40,361
Speaker 2: fatherhood and all that kind of thing. You know, that's

723
00:30:40,441 --> 00:30:42,321
Speaker 2: that's another thing that you've got a passion about too.

724
00:30:42,441 --> 00:30:45,961
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just having my daughter changed my life, like

725
00:30:46,081 --> 00:30:48,601
Speaker 1: for the better. Obviously I was already good before she come,

726
00:30:48,681 --> 00:30:51,481
Speaker 1: Like I was already sober nine months ober or something,

727
00:30:51,761 --> 00:30:54,241
Speaker 1: and so I thought I was good. I was on

728
00:30:54,281 --> 00:30:57,041
Speaker 1: the right track, had my TRT clinic, making good money,

729
00:30:57,121 --> 00:30:59,761
Speaker 1: doing everything else on the side. Life was good. But

730
00:30:59,921 --> 00:31:02,601
Speaker 1: when I watched my wife give birth to my daughter,

731
00:31:02,721 --> 00:31:05,521
Speaker 1: it was like another flip just switched in my I

732
00:31:05,601 --> 00:31:09,641
Speaker 1: was like, fuck, I now had this child that relies

733
00:31:09,681 --> 00:31:12,841
Speaker 1: on me. It's gonna look up to me, and realistically,

734
00:31:12,921 --> 00:31:15,641
Speaker 1: like my whole life now revolves around her, Like it's

735
00:31:15,681 --> 00:31:17,801
Speaker 1: not all about me anymore. My whole life is her.

736
00:31:18,561 --> 00:31:21,321
Speaker 1: But like now that I've been in jail, lost everything,

737
00:31:22,281 --> 00:31:24,841
Speaker 1: I don't care about money anymore. Like I've had all

738
00:31:24,881 --> 00:31:26,681
Speaker 1: the role Lexits, I've had, all the range Rover Sports,

739
00:31:26,681 --> 00:31:28,721
Speaker 1: all the Mercedes, I've had everything. I've had more money

740
00:31:28,761 --> 00:31:30,321
Speaker 1: than some people know what to do with being with

741
00:31:30,401 --> 00:31:33,001
Speaker 1: more women than some people. I've had hot dinners and

742
00:31:33,041 --> 00:31:34,881
Speaker 1: I'm not proud of it. I look back now and

743
00:31:34,921 --> 00:31:37,081
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, you're just you were miserable, you

744
00:31:37,161 --> 00:31:39,401
Speaker 1: weren't happy. But like when I had my daughter, I

745
00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:42,081
Speaker 1: sold everything, sold all my cars, all my jowey except

746
00:31:42,121 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 1: one watch, everything, I just didn't care for it. All

747
00:31:45,521 --> 00:31:47,561
Speaker 1: I cared about was being at home with her, my wife,

748
00:31:48,481 --> 00:31:51,081
Speaker 1: and that's what's brought me in true happiness. But unfortunately

749
00:31:51,121 --> 00:31:52,921
Speaker 1: I just couldn't leave that life behind. Still at the

750
00:31:52,921 --> 00:31:56,161
Speaker 1: same time, but now that I'm in the role that

751
00:31:56,201 --> 00:31:59,881
Speaker 1: I'm in, and I'm seeing the severity of the decline

752
00:31:59,921 --> 00:32:02,161
Speaker 1: with men and women. Don't get me wrong, but it's

753
00:32:02,161 --> 00:32:03,921
Speaker 1: not my job to call that women. But like men

754
00:32:04,001 --> 00:32:07,601
Speaker 1: as fathers, it's just it's sad, like men just have

755
00:32:07,721 --> 00:32:11,161
Speaker 1: this mindset now around fatherhood that like I provide financially,

756
00:32:11,241 --> 00:32:12,961
Speaker 1: I go to work, that's all I need to do.

757
00:32:13,681 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: And it's like, well, there's a lot more to that

758
00:32:15,841 --> 00:32:17,961
Speaker 1: than being a dad. Everything that we are as adults,

759
00:32:18,001 --> 00:32:20,081
Speaker 1: you know, anxiety, depression and everything we go through mentally,

760
00:32:20,361 --> 00:32:23,561
Speaker 1: all stems from our childhood so like all these men

761
00:32:23,801 --> 00:32:26,521
Speaker 1: are legit just raising coxic little human beings because one

762
00:32:26,561 --> 00:32:29,001
Speaker 1: they've never dealt with their problems and do they're just

763
00:32:29,081 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: in denial that they need to because they're just like, oh,

764
00:32:32,081 --> 00:32:34,321
Speaker 1: I'm fine, yeah, you know, miss happy. And it's just

765
00:32:34,361 --> 00:32:36,761
Speaker 1: like people just don't understand the severity and the importance

766
00:32:36,801 --> 00:32:39,081
Speaker 1: of being a father. And it's just now I'm just like,

767
00:32:39,161 --> 00:32:42,601
Speaker 1: that's my main goal to really have men, especially to

768
00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:45,481
Speaker 1: understand the importance of being a father, because now that

769
00:32:45,601 --> 00:32:48,201
Speaker 1: I went through that self development journey of seeing counselor

770
00:32:48,681 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: going back to Christ, I now understand how important is

771
00:32:53,521 --> 00:32:57,521
Speaker 1: for fathers to be strong deal with our problems internally

772
00:32:57,761 --> 00:33:00,121
Speaker 1: to make sure that we don't pass on our demons

773
00:33:00,161 --> 00:33:02,521
Speaker 1: to our kids. So like, now that's what's one of

774
00:33:02,561 --> 00:33:05,561
Speaker 1: my main goals in life, to just have men especially

775
00:33:05,801 --> 00:33:08,841
Speaker 1: understand the severity and the importance. I've been a good father,

776
00:33:09,241 --> 00:33:10,561
Speaker 1: So how are you going to cope them? But when

777
00:33:11,761 --> 00:33:14,841
Speaker 1: you re get sentenced, how old your daughter will be?

778
00:33:14,881 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 1: Then when that happens twenty twenty eight, so it was

779
00:33:17,241 --> 00:33:19,121
Speaker 1: that three years two two, three years away, so she'll

780
00:33:19,121 --> 00:33:23,161
Speaker 1: be we'll be probably a lot fun. Well that's the thing. Yeah,

781
00:33:23,241 --> 00:33:25,921
Speaker 1: she didn't understand when she was one, so now it

782
00:33:26,121 --> 00:33:28,841
Speaker 1: be Yeah, it'll be very different, don't get me wrong,

783
00:33:29,001 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 1: But like now because in my heart, I'm certainly on

784
00:33:31,321 --> 00:33:34,521
Speaker 1: two to four years serving. So like with a sentence

785
00:33:34,601 --> 00:33:36,241
Speaker 1: like that, like I'll have my daughters come up and

786
00:33:36,281 --> 00:33:39,521
Speaker 1: see me. Whether I think it's right or not, probably not,

787
00:33:39,841 --> 00:33:41,561
Speaker 1: but I'm not going to go two or four years

788
00:33:41,601 --> 00:33:44,121
Speaker 1: without seeing my daughter. Even though I fucked up did

789
00:33:44,161 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 1: what I did, she still needs to be able to

790
00:33:46,201 --> 00:33:49,361
Speaker 1: see me, feel me, hug me, and know that I'm there, yep,

791
00:33:49,681 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: because if that doesn't happen, it'll be worse for her

792
00:33:52,481 --> 00:33:54,961
Speaker 1: than what will be good. You don't think it will

793
00:33:55,561 --> 00:33:58,921
Speaker 1: scar her senior inside like it could, But I also

794
00:33:59,041 --> 00:34:02,161
Speaker 1: think that's seeing me in person every week, where every

795
00:34:02,161 --> 00:34:03,961
Speaker 1: two weeks will do her a lot better than what

796
00:34:04,041 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: it would to never see me. Yeah, it's just like

797
00:34:06,281 --> 00:34:07,921
Speaker 1: the bond that I have with my daughter is just

798
00:34:08,001 --> 00:34:10,841
Speaker 1: like something that I can't even put into words, and

799
00:34:11,001 --> 00:34:13,281
Speaker 1: like that's that's what I want men to feel, because

800
00:34:13,281 --> 00:34:14,841
Speaker 1: that's how it should be as a dad, especially with

801
00:34:14,921 --> 00:34:17,761
Speaker 1: our little girls. Like having that little girl is just

802
00:34:17,881 --> 00:34:20,521
Speaker 1: like my wife hates it how close we are like

803
00:34:20,681 --> 00:34:23,361
Speaker 1: every morning she'll coming to bed with us, Mummy, get out,

804
00:34:24,521 --> 00:34:26,961
Speaker 1: don't touch my daddy, my daddy, and I was want

805
00:34:26,961 --> 00:34:29,201
Speaker 1: to cud with daddy, Mummy go away like and my

806
00:34:29,281 --> 00:34:33,601
Speaker 1: missus hates it because I've just just forced myself to

807
00:34:33,681 --> 00:34:37,801
Speaker 1: deal with my childhood problems with my stepdad, the abandonment

808
00:34:38,121 --> 00:34:39,561
Speaker 1: and all the bullshit that I don't went through as

809
00:34:39,561 --> 00:34:41,761
Speaker 1: a child to now like just being so emotionally in

810
00:34:41,881 --> 00:34:44,441
Speaker 1: terms with myself that my bond with my daughter is

811
00:34:44,561 --> 00:34:47,521
Speaker 1: just like so special and it's just sad to see

812
00:34:47,561 --> 00:34:51,041
Speaker 1: that men don't have that bond. But they also have

813
00:34:51,161 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 1: no desire for that bond. They just, like I said,

814
00:34:53,441 --> 00:34:56,601
Speaker 1: they just have that nineteen hundred mindset of I'm a provider.

815
00:34:56,921 --> 00:34:59,281
Speaker 1: I don't need to do anything else. My missus needs

816
00:34:59,281 --> 00:35:00,921
Speaker 1: to do everything, cook, clean, look after the kids.

817
00:35:01,041 --> 00:35:02,801
Speaker 2: But do you think you're like that because of your

818
00:35:02,881 --> 00:35:05,721
Speaker 2: family when you're growing up, you don't the same the

819
00:35:05,801 --> 00:35:07,921
Speaker 2: same way. You know, Yeah, your your dad wasn't there

820
00:35:07,961 --> 00:35:09,721
Speaker 2: for you and the ship that you went through with

821
00:35:09,841 --> 00:35:12,161
Speaker 2: your stepfather, so you you want to make sure that

822
00:35:12,321 --> 00:35:15,761
Speaker 2: you can be there not just a ride, but also

823
00:35:15,881 --> 00:35:19,561
Speaker 2: to be a care and to be more quality time

824
00:35:19,641 --> 00:35:22,121
Speaker 2: with your daughter than what your dad ever did to you.

825
00:35:22,281 --> 00:35:25,361
Speaker 1: Possibly, possibly I have never actually looked at like that,

826
00:35:25,881 --> 00:35:28,001
Speaker 1: But I just told myself when I found out I

827
00:35:28,041 --> 00:35:30,521
Speaker 1: was having a daughter, I just always told myself that

828
00:35:30,681 --> 00:35:33,481
Speaker 1: I'm going to devote my life to being the man

829
00:35:33,601 --> 00:35:36,321
Speaker 1: that she needs and like the man that she'll always

830
00:35:36,361 --> 00:35:38,601
Speaker 1: be proud to bring home to me. Because as a man,

831
00:35:39,041 --> 00:35:41,921
Speaker 1: as with your daughter, we are their first love. We

832
00:35:42,081 --> 00:35:45,841
Speaker 1: are what they seek in their relationships. So like that,

833
00:35:46,041 --> 00:35:47,201
Speaker 1: that was just that was just the one thing that

834
00:35:47,281 --> 00:35:49,281
Speaker 1: always played on my mind. What sort of man do

835
00:35:49,361 --> 00:35:50,801
Speaker 1: I want my daughter to spend the rest of her

836
00:35:50,841 --> 00:35:52,681
Speaker 1: life with? Do I want to bring a home grong?

837
00:35:52,721 --> 00:35:53,921
Speaker 1: So I want to bring an own fat fox I

838
00:35:53,921 --> 00:35:55,361
Speaker 1: want to bring What would you do if she brought

839
00:35:55,441 --> 00:36:02,601
Speaker 1: something like you? Well? Me, now, me, now, I'll say

840
00:36:02,641 --> 00:36:05,921
Speaker 1: to me, Now, I'll be fine. You know, you know,

841
00:36:06,081 --> 00:36:08,641
Speaker 1: probably you see the same people. Just because some people

842
00:36:08,681 --> 00:36:11,161
Speaker 1: look the way they do, it doesn't mean anything. These days,

843
00:36:11,561 --> 00:36:15,161
Speaker 1: you know, tattoo is almost almost weird. Not having a tattooshion. Now, yeah,

844
00:36:15,561 --> 00:36:17,641
Speaker 1: back in the day, back in your era, like people

845
00:36:17,681 --> 00:36:20,321
Speaker 1: that had tattoo, it's a different story, you know. These days,

846
00:36:20,321 --> 00:36:22,281
Speaker 1: people going to throw tattoo. There's their first tattoo, and

847
00:36:22,321 --> 00:36:25,521
Speaker 1: it's all good. I don't judge anyone anymore, especially being

848
00:36:25,561 --> 00:36:28,801
Speaker 1: in jail, you know, coming out doing what I've done. Now,

849
00:36:29,201 --> 00:36:30,961
Speaker 1: like everyone's been on so many different walks of life.

850
00:36:31,001 --> 00:36:33,521
Speaker 1: It's just a mater of making sure that you've learned

851
00:36:33,521 --> 00:36:35,001
Speaker 1: from your mistates. Like I get grilled. I don't know

852
00:36:35,001 --> 00:36:36,401
Speaker 1: if you've been in my TikTok, but but I get

853
00:36:36,521 --> 00:36:40,001
Speaker 1: grilled about this ankle monitor, Like just grilled leffence. Yeah, bro,

854
00:36:40,161 --> 00:36:41,921
Speaker 1: the comments like how do you tell people how to

855
00:36:41,961 --> 00:36:43,121
Speaker 1: be a good day when you have an ankle one?

856
00:36:43,161 --> 00:36:45,681
Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, look, I get it. It's not

857
00:36:45,761 --> 00:36:48,481
Speaker 1: a good look. But like, literally just scroll back through

858
00:36:48,921 --> 00:36:51,561
Speaker 1: ver I've been. I've learned now not to look at comments.

859
00:36:52,081 --> 00:36:52,201
Speaker 1: You know.

860
00:36:52,281 --> 00:36:54,041
Speaker 2: I used to always check my comments comments, and I

861
00:36:54,121 --> 00:36:57,721
Speaker 2: fucking like tingled ones like are were great?

862
00:36:57,761 --> 00:37:01,361
Speaker 1: And then there's that one and it stays for weeks. Yeah.

863
00:37:01,401 --> 00:37:02,721
Speaker 1: So I was like that at the start. When I

864
00:37:02,761 --> 00:37:06,081
Speaker 1: first started blowing up. It was consuming me. I'd stay

865
00:37:06,121 --> 00:37:08,001
Speaker 1: up at night to all hours and I'm a very

866
00:37:08,081 --> 00:37:15,001
Speaker 1: rude yeah literally on facebo just yeah, it wasn't good

867
00:37:15,081 --> 00:37:17,401
Speaker 1: now and now I'm fine, don't get me wrong. I'll

868
00:37:17,441 --> 00:37:19,601
Speaker 1: reply to a few comments, just just sort of instigate

869
00:37:19,601 --> 00:37:21,921
Speaker 1: a little bit more traction. But like, nothing bothers me

870
00:37:21,961 --> 00:37:23,641
Speaker 1: anymore when it comes to like, because I'm just so

871
00:37:23,761 --> 00:37:25,521
Speaker 1: at peace to myself and i know deep down the

872
00:37:25,641 --> 00:37:28,561
Speaker 1: man I am. Yeah, I fucked up. I fully owned it,

873
00:37:28,881 --> 00:37:30,801
Speaker 1: and I'm fully open to it. But I know the

874
00:37:30,881 --> 00:37:32,521
Speaker 1: man I am, and I know the man that I'm

875
00:37:32,681 --> 00:37:35,001
Speaker 1: allowing my daughter to see and we raised up with.

876
00:37:35,601 --> 00:37:37,201
Speaker 1: And that's what I give a fuck about. Have you

877
00:37:37,241 --> 00:37:39,481
Speaker 1: spoken to your daughter about the situation or she too young?

878
00:37:39,481 --> 00:37:42,841
Speaker 1: You live No. Three, so she's still very young, Don't

879
00:37:42,841 --> 00:37:45,321
Speaker 1: get wrong, but it's pretty crazy. At school they pay

880
00:37:45,361 --> 00:37:47,521
Speaker 1: cops and robbers and she's always like, oh, daddy, you

881
00:37:47,601 --> 00:37:49,601
Speaker 1: go to jail. I'm like, yeah, one day, one day

882
00:37:49,641 --> 00:37:51,521
Speaker 1: I will like and me and my wife just like

883
00:37:51,641 --> 00:37:53,641
Speaker 1: looking at each other and smile. Do you think your

884
00:37:53,801 --> 00:37:57,561
Speaker 1: your look gives people a different persona of you? Like

885
00:37:57,641 --> 00:37:59,561
Speaker 1: going through the she's here, it looks like get walking

886
00:37:59,561 --> 00:38:01,361
Speaker 1: through the shops with a fucking ankle Monder and my daughter.

887
00:38:02,041 --> 00:38:03,921
Speaker 1: Back in the day, people that had ankle wanders with

888
00:38:03,961 --> 00:38:08,161
Speaker 1: our petows and so like the older generation, fuck brother

889
00:38:08,241 --> 00:38:10,161
Speaker 1: looks and I get from older people with my daughter

890
00:38:10,241 --> 00:38:12,281
Speaker 1: in the shops, they're just like I've never had it,

891
00:38:12,481 --> 00:38:14,321
Speaker 1: never had to have a go at anyone yet, like

892
00:38:14,401 --> 00:38:15,721
Speaker 1: a few people are, Like a few people at the

893
00:38:15,761 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 1: gym when I got out, like started like double looking

894
00:38:17,961 --> 00:38:19,321
Speaker 1: at me, and I'm like, yeah, but you see me

895
00:38:19,361 --> 00:38:21,281
Speaker 1: here for years used to talk to me. Now what

896
00:38:21,321 --> 00:38:22,881
Speaker 1: because I've got a ankle monder? Do you think that

897
00:38:22,881 --> 00:38:28,001
Speaker 1: I'm a scam? Like relax, but yeah, it's definitely a

898
00:38:28,081 --> 00:38:29,561
Speaker 1: problem if I go back in time, but I'd never

899
00:38:29,601 --> 00:38:33,201
Speaker 1: get tatooed. You'd never get a tattoo. Why did you

900
00:38:33,201 --> 00:38:38,081
Speaker 1: say that? Just because unfortunately, like the.

901
00:38:38,161 --> 00:38:41,041
Speaker 2: Tattoos don't look like they're any affiliation, so they're not

902
00:38:41,481 --> 00:38:42,801
Speaker 2: why would you change it up there?

903
00:38:42,921 --> 00:38:46,121
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, Like there still is that sigma with tattoos people

904
00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:47,841
Speaker 1: just as soon as people look at you, like as

905
00:38:47,921 --> 00:38:51,321
Speaker 1: much tattoos that I've got, automatically it's like criminal bikey

906
00:38:51,881 --> 00:38:54,841
Speaker 1: this that so like it's just unfortunately and it's just

907
00:38:54,921 --> 00:38:56,361
Speaker 1: not who I am anymore. Like I'm sorry, So I

908
00:38:56,441 --> 00:38:57,961
Speaker 1: cut my rat starle off because it was just a

909
00:38:58,041 --> 00:39:02,481
Speaker 1: life that I once lived so deeply in And that's

910
00:39:02,481 --> 00:39:04,121
Speaker 1: why I got all these tattoos. I wanted to fit in.

911
00:39:04,201 --> 00:39:05,601
Speaker 1: I wanted to be like all these I was looking

912
00:39:05,721 --> 00:39:08,001
Speaker 1: up to, when in hindsight, like I was just these

913
00:39:08,041 --> 00:39:11,401
Speaker 1: tatoes don't represent who am anymore. Not that they're club,

914
00:39:11,481 --> 00:39:13,321
Speaker 1: not that they mean anything. It's just but it's just

915
00:39:13,401 --> 00:39:15,721
Speaker 1: not me anymore. So like now that everyone that comes

916
00:39:15,721 --> 00:39:16,921
Speaker 1: to me like, oh, I want to get this, I

917
00:39:16,921 --> 00:39:19,161
Speaker 1: want to get this, trust me take it from me.

918
00:39:19,281 --> 00:39:21,721
Speaker 1: If I go back in time, I'd never get a tattoo. Well,

919
00:39:22,521 --> 00:39:24,681
Speaker 1: it's funny because my next question was, what's your biggest

920
00:39:24,721 --> 00:39:31,201
Speaker 1: regord Trusting the wrong people. Yeah, trusting the wrong people,

921
00:39:31,281 --> 00:39:32,761
Speaker 1: like I said, but like the Godfather and my daughter,

922
00:39:33,441 --> 00:39:39,681
Speaker 1: my best business partner, like we did everything together, trained worked,

923
00:39:40,161 --> 00:39:42,921
Speaker 1: we call each other forty times a day, like it was.

924
00:39:43,081 --> 00:39:43,241
Speaker 2: It was.

925
00:39:43,321 --> 00:39:45,841
Speaker 1: It was almost weird, like it was like our whole

926
00:39:45,921 --> 00:39:50,401
Speaker 1: life revolved around each other. And in jail because you

927
00:39:50,401 --> 00:39:52,401
Speaker 1: always said to me, but anything happens to you, I've

928
00:39:52,441 --> 00:39:54,081
Speaker 1: got your daughter, I've got your missus, and they'll never

929
00:39:54,201 --> 00:39:57,681
Speaker 1: have to worry. Went to jail on the phone of missus.

930
00:39:57,721 --> 00:40:01,041
Speaker 1: You heard from old mate, Nah, what are you serious?

931
00:40:01,681 --> 00:40:05,601
Speaker 1: She's like na. Christmas Day two months in right, ringer,

932
00:40:06,841 --> 00:40:10,081
Speaker 1: what the fuck is going on? Get out my lawyers? Like,

933
00:40:10,121 --> 00:40:11,841
Speaker 1: I didn't want to tell you when you're inside because

934
00:40:11,841 --> 00:40:14,321
Speaker 1: I didn't want to make it any harder. But he's

935
00:40:14,321 --> 00:40:16,721
Speaker 1: in your brief telling the cops that you're fucking selling

936
00:40:16,801 --> 00:40:19,921
Speaker 1: narcotics at your clinic. And I was like, okay, well

937
00:40:20,001 --> 00:40:23,801
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Wow when I sent that, like I

938
00:40:23,801 --> 00:40:27,441
Speaker 1: would be at work plumbing, balling my eyes out in anger,

939
00:40:28,401 --> 00:40:31,361
Speaker 1: just like so many situations playing in my head like

940
00:40:31,521 --> 00:40:33,641
Speaker 1: straight down the shop tie up. I just had so

941
00:40:33,761 --> 00:40:36,601
Speaker 1: many situations playing through my head and I just couldn't

942
00:40:36,641 --> 00:40:38,361
Speaker 1: deal with my emotions because I was just like, how

943
00:40:38,401 --> 00:40:40,841
Speaker 1: does someone betray someone like that? Like fair enough if

944
00:40:40,841 --> 00:40:43,641
Speaker 1: I've done something wrong, but like just did it to

945
00:40:43,681 --> 00:40:48,321
Speaker 1: hopefully save himself, no explanation why nothing. Still to this day,

946
00:40:48,721 --> 00:40:52,121
Speaker 1: never heard a single thing wrong. So what's what's new

947
00:40:52,161 --> 00:40:52,561
Speaker 1: for you? Then?

948
00:40:52,681 --> 00:40:55,121
Speaker 2: What before? Like, what what's your goals before you go inside?

949
00:40:56,041 --> 00:40:59,121
Speaker 2: Is there anything to achieve it apart from you bodybuilding,

950
00:40:59,721 --> 00:41:01,801
Speaker 2: anything else that you want to chieve before you go inside?

951
00:41:02,201 --> 00:41:05,561
Speaker 1: Because what you're looking at two years inside, two to four,

952
00:41:05,921 --> 00:41:08,201
Speaker 1: this is what I'm mentally preparing. So then what do

953
00:41:08,321 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 1: you want to do before you go in. My only

954
00:41:12,081 --> 00:41:14,081
Speaker 1: goal is just to touch as many lives as possible.

955
00:41:14,841 --> 00:41:18,361
Speaker 1: And even now, like obviously very heavily reverted my life

956
00:41:18,401 --> 00:41:20,481
Speaker 1: to Christ, and my whole life revolves around that now,

957
00:41:21,361 --> 00:41:23,321
Speaker 1: and it's crazy to say, like I even have chats

958
00:41:23,361 --> 00:41:25,041
Speaker 1: with people at church about this. Can you go to

959
00:41:25,161 --> 00:41:28,281
Speaker 1: church now full time? So you have fucking changed your

960
00:41:29,041 --> 00:41:31,761
Speaker 1: every Tuesday, every Sunday. My song kid's telling me to

961
00:41:31,841 --> 00:41:33,921
Speaker 1: do that. Yeah. So I actually got invited down to

962
00:41:34,201 --> 00:41:37,361
Speaker 1: a rehab in Goldie because a good friend of mine

963
00:41:37,481 --> 00:41:39,161
Speaker 1: is a part owner of it, and she goes, hey,

964
00:41:39,241 --> 00:41:41,761
Speaker 1: can you come down meet all the guys here, and

965
00:41:41,961 --> 00:41:44,321
Speaker 1: potentially let's try and work out a program where that

966
00:41:44,401 --> 00:41:47,841
Speaker 1: you can take on the male clients coming out. So yeah, perfect, perfect,

967
00:41:47,881 --> 00:41:51,121
Speaker 1: sounds good. I love to and come down and she goes, oh,

968
00:41:51,241 --> 00:41:52,921
Speaker 1: this is my business partner, Mike. He is the own

969
00:41:53,001 --> 00:41:56,721
Speaker 1: other owner and head to toe Tatoo's big goal chains,

970
00:41:56,881 --> 00:42:00,761
Speaker 1: big man like mohawk like ex enforcer, you know, did

971
00:42:00,801 --> 00:42:04,441
Speaker 1: all the extra dragon heroin addict jail. And I was

972
00:42:04,481 --> 00:42:07,041
Speaker 1: like fucking and she goes, I'm going to leave you

973
00:42:07,081 --> 00:42:09,561
Speaker 1: guys have a chat. It's okay, sweet, And then he

974
00:42:09,601 --> 00:42:12,921
Speaker 1: started talking about addictions and why people can't leave, especially men.

975
00:42:13,001 --> 00:42:15,361
Speaker 1: White men can't leave the criminal life style. And I

976
00:42:15,441 --> 00:42:17,521
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to be weird, but like

977
00:42:17,561 --> 00:42:19,721
Speaker 1: you're pulled on some heart strings here, like I'm so

978
00:42:19,841 --> 00:42:22,441
Speaker 1: far removed from that life and I don't struggle day

979
00:42:22,481 --> 00:42:24,881
Speaker 1: to day with things, but I know that I can

980
00:42:24,921 --> 00:42:27,081
Speaker 1: be a better human, Like I know that there's stuff

981
00:42:27,121 --> 00:42:29,281
Speaker 1: that I've never dealt with that I know is deep

982
00:42:29,361 --> 00:42:31,241
Speaker 1: down that I know that if I deal with it,

983
00:42:31,321 --> 00:42:33,441
Speaker 1: I can be an even better human being now. And

984
00:42:33,681 --> 00:42:35,961
Speaker 1: I just want to be a better father partner and

985
00:42:36,041 --> 00:42:38,601
Speaker 1: that makes me a better human for my clients. So

986
00:42:38,681 --> 00:42:40,241
Speaker 1: I was like, it's a win win. I said, I

987
00:42:40,361 --> 00:42:42,161
Speaker 1: know you don't take people on anymore, but like, would

988
00:42:42,201 --> 00:42:44,401
Speaker 1: you be happy to take me on? And he goes, fuck,

989
00:42:44,401 --> 00:42:46,761
Speaker 1: because you're a friend of Roses, I'll be happy to

990
00:42:46,801 --> 00:42:49,921
Speaker 1: take you on and on our first session because he's

991
00:42:50,001 --> 00:42:53,401
Speaker 1: next pastor as well and had his own church everything

992
00:42:53,441 --> 00:42:56,241
Speaker 1: and all his rehabs are now all Christian faith based,

993
00:42:57,161 --> 00:43:00,401
Speaker 1: and he has I have a feeling that you want

994
00:43:00,401 --> 00:43:03,921
Speaker 1: to you're seeking something, like you want to come back

995
00:43:03,921 --> 00:43:06,001
Speaker 1: to God? Do you want to come to church with me?

996
00:43:06,081 --> 00:43:09,721
Speaker 1: This Sunday and I said, fuck, no, no way bad, No,

997
00:43:09,841 --> 00:43:12,241
Speaker 1: it's not me. He goes, all right. I just put

998
00:43:12,281 --> 00:43:15,601
Speaker 1: it off of there, went through the session, went home,

999
00:43:15,881 --> 00:43:17,681
Speaker 1: chat to my mum. She goes, well, what do you

1000
00:43:17,721 --> 00:43:21,401
Speaker 1: got to lose? My videographer guy, he's very religious, he is, bro,

1001
00:43:21,641 --> 00:43:23,281
Speaker 1: you know, same deal. What do you got to lose?

1002
00:43:23,521 --> 00:43:25,841
Speaker 1: What harm can happen from it? And I just sort

1003
00:43:25,881 --> 00:43:27,881
Speaker 1: of just sort of sparked this feeling in me again.

1004
00:43:27,921 --> 00:43:29,881
Speaker 1: And I was like I went back on the Monday

1005
00:43:29,961 --> 00:43:31,681
Speaker 1: to see old mate and I was like, Bro, I'm

1006
00:43:31,721 --> 00:43:33,681
Speaker 1: we come to the church with you this Sunday. He's

1007
00:43:33,681 --> 00:43:36,121
Speaker 1: like really, I said, yeah, it why, I'll come with you.

1008
00:43:36,801 --> 00:43:38,921
Speaker 1: And I had a dream. I was having dreams the

1009
00:43:39,001 --> 00:43:41,601
Speaker 1: whole week leading up to that Sunday that I was

1010
00:43:41,761 --> 00:43:43,521
Speaker 1: crying in church and he was like patting me on

1011
00:43:43,601 --> 00:43:45,361
Speaker 1: the back telling me, I was all right, see exactly

1012
00:43:45,401 --> 00:43:47,721
Speaker 1: what happened? Like I just had tears come out of

1013
00:43:47,761 --> 00:43:49,961
Speaker 1: my face and emotions and this sends through my whole

1014
00:43:50,001 --> 00:43:52,641
Speaker 1: body that I couldn't control. And he was just patting

1015
00:43:52,681 --> 00:43:54,841
Speaker 1: me on the back saying, but it's all good, it's

1016
00:43:54,881 --> 00:43:57,481
Speaker 1: all good. And it was just like this sense of

1017
00:43:57,681 --> 00:44:01,121
Speaker 1: peace that I've just never been able to comprehend before

1018
00:44:01,121 --> 00:44:03,041
Speaker 1: in my life. And I just said to myself that day,

1019
00:44:03,081 --> 00:44:06,001
Speaker 1: I said, this is me. This is me.

1020
00:44:06,401 --> 00:44:08,841
Speaker 2: Some keeps telling me to do that, and like he says, Dad,

1021
00:44:10,201 --> 00:44:13,001
Speaker 2: God's telling me to tell you, you know, to you know,

1022
00:44:13,201 --> 00:44:15,681
Speaker 2: to come and come to church, and I don't.

1023
00:44:15,681 --> 00:44:18,001
Speaker 1: I don't want to disrespect my son, but I was

1024
00:44:18,001 --> 00:44:19,081
Speaker 1: trying to tell, you know, I don't.

1025
00:44:19,281 --> 00:44:21,681
Speaker 2: I don't laugh disrespectfully, but you know, it's it's just

1026
00:44:21,761 --> 00:44:24,041
Speaker 2: something that I'm not seeing a yellow eleven year kid

1027
00:44:24,081 --> 00:44:26,721
Speaker 2: tell me what to do and then you gets disappointed

1028
00:44:26,721 --> 00:44:28,361
Speaker 2: if I don't fucking agree with him, and then like

1029
00:44:28,441 --> 00:44:30,961
Speaker 2: you're saying that, I look at you like it's like

1030
00:44:31,081 --> 00:44:33,041
Speaker 2: you're the same posture like me walking into church and

1031
00:44:33,281 --> 00:44:34,241
Speaker 2: was going to the look at me and go, what

1032
00:44:34,321 --> 00:44:34,761
Speaker 2: the fuck is it?

1033
00:44:34,841 --> 00:44:38,481
Speaker 1: Yeah? You know what I mean? Yeah? But I because

1034
00:44:38,561 --> 00:44:42,081
Speaker 1: I obviously, like I said earlier, raised very religious, but

1035
00:44:42,241 --> 00:44:45,681
Speaker 1: my mum's church was like very culty, do this, your

1036
00:44:45,761 --> 00:44:47,281
Speaker 1: life will be like this. So I always had this

1037
00:44:47,401 --> 00:44:51,721
Speaker 1: bad taste. So like for me going into a church

1038
00:44:51,801 --> 00:44:56,041
Speaker 1: that I did, like, the community is just fucking incredible, bro.

1039
00:44:56,201 --> 00:44:59,241
Speaker 1: Everyone's so nice. Everyone comes to asking me about my

1040
00:44:59,281 --> 00:45:03,041
Speaker 1: angle monitor, like no judgment whatsoever, like just and I

1041
00:45:03,201 --> 00:45:07,041
Speaker 1: was like to my counselor, I said, but surely everyone's

1042
00:45:07,081 --> 00:45:09,761
Speaker 1: not this nice. He's that man. Even I get anxiety

1043
00:45:09,801 --> 00:45:12,801
Speaker 1: walking through those front doors. Just go with you twice ye.

1044
00:45:12,961 --> 00:45:15,161
Speaker 1: But she works every Sunday. So I take my daughter

1045
00:45:15,201 --> 00:45:18,081
Speaker 1: down every Sunday, and I've started taking my boys down there,

1046
00:45:18,121 --> 00:45:20,601
Speaker 1: and I meet people down there. I'm just like, yeah,

1047
00:45:20,601 --> 00:45:23,601
Speaker 1: I just I just want people to feel that feeling

1048
00:45:23,681 --> 00:45:29,121
Speaker 1: of God through their book, through their life. That mean

1049
00:45:29,201 --> 00:45:37,121
Speaker 1: you in one would fuck one word leader, Leader. I

1050
00:45:37,281 --> 00:45:41,161
Speaker 1: just I know, yeah, Leader, I'm destined for a lot

1051
00:45:41,201 --> 00:45:43,841
Speaker 1: of things. But I can see it. I know, even

1052
00:45:43,921 --> 00:45:46,681
Speaker 1: given jail what's to come. I know that I'm going

1053
00:45:46,761 --> 00:45:49,321
Speaker 1: to have such a big impact on so many lives

1054
00:45:49,321 --> 00:45:51,081
Speaker 1: around the world. I just see it.

1055
00:45:52,561 --> 00:45:54,121
Speaker 2: You think, even when you come out of jail, you're

1056
00:45:54,121 --> 00:45:55,561
Speaker 2: still going to have to say, You're gonna have to

1057
00:45:55,561 --> 00:45:57,961
Speaker 2: say motivation to do what you're gonna do, if not more.

1058
00:45:58,201 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 1: It's it's weird, but even I talked about this, even

1059
00:46:00,481 --> 00:46:02,761
Speaker 1: people at the church. I'm so excited to go back

1060
00:46:02,801 --> 00:46:06,521
Speaker 1: to jail. It's that good thing to probably not but

1061
00:46:06,641 --> 00:46:08,761
Speaker 1: I'm excited to go back and try and touch as

1062
00:46:08,801 --> 00:46:11,201
Speaker 1: many boys' lives impossible and spread the word of God

1063
00:46:11,241 --> 00:46:13,841
Speaker 1: through jail. Oh, I get what you're say and try

1064
00:46:13,921 --> 00:46:15,441
Speaker 1: and save as many boys as possible.

1065
00:46:16,321 --> 00:46:16,561
Speaker 2: Wow.

1066
00:46:17,721 --> 00:46:19,881
Speaker 1: It never looks at me like it's kind of weird, bro,

1067
00:46:20,001 --> 00:46:20,561
Speaker 1: But that's cool.

1068
00:46:20,921 --> 00:46:22,561
Speaker 3: Yeah it is when you say that, but when you

1069
00:46:22,601 --> 00:46:24,761
Speaker 3: say it to me, like, I'm actually exciting about that.

1070
00:46:25,241 --> 00:46:27,041
Speaker 1: I'm not excited to go back to jail, but I

1071
00:46:27,201 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: know that I'm going back and like for me jail.

1072
00:46:29,721 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: As soon as I went in, I was like, Okay,

1073
00:46:31,601 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 1: I'm here. I need to turn a negative into a positive. Yeah,

1074
00:46:35,161 --> 00:46:37,081
Speaker 1: a journaled. I was telling myself like, I will never

1075
00:46:37,241 --> 00:46:40,001
Speaker 1: not train, I will never ever fall into drugs because

1076
00:46:40,161 --> 00:46:42,081
Speaker 1: the drugs in jails like something you've never seen before

1077
00:46:42,081 --> 00:46:44,001
Speaker 1: in your life. Like I, out of one hundred boys

1078
00:46:44,001 --> 00:46:46,041
Speaker 1: at the first jail, there was twelve of us didn't

1079
00:46:46,081 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 1: shoot up every day like it was fun. And they're

1080
00:46:48,441 --> 00:46:52,321
Speaker 1: all using the same two needles. It's disgusting. On my

1081
00:46:52,401 --> 00:46:54,321
Speaker 1: first day, I was watching three boys put it in

1082
00:46:54,401 --> 00:46:57,001
Speaker 1: each other's neck and I was like, what the what

1083
00:46:57,161 --> 00:46:59,161
Speaker 1: the fuck is going on here? No one told me

1084
00:46:59,281 --> 00:47:01,241
Speaker 1: this All my mates's been in jail. No one told

1085
00:47:01,241 --> 00:47:03,961
Speaker 1: me about the drugs, so I was like in the watchhouse,

1086
00:47:03,961 --> 00:47:06,441
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to go Jim. This guy's like, no, bro,

1087
00:47:06,481 --> 00:47:09,001
Speaker 1: there's no gym. I was like, what what do you do?

1088
00:47:09,921 --> 00:47:13,121
Speaker 1: There's no gym. They just got dip bar and some

1089
00:47:13,281 --> 00:47:15,481
Speaker 1: pull up bars in the yard. That's it getting a

1090
00:47:15,561 --> 00:47:19,121
Speaker 1: jail like Jack Still and all the boys are doing burpies,

1091
00:47:19,161 --> 00:47:22,041
Speaker 1: bare crawls, handstand push ups, and I was like, nah,

1092
00:47:22,241 --> 00:47:23,681
Speaker 1: not for me, but I'll just go over here, do

1093
00:47:23,761 --> 00:47:26,041
Speaker 1: some push ups, do some dips, do pull ups. And

1094
00:47:26,161 --> 00:47:28,041
Speaker 1: after about a week, I was like, I'm going to

1095
00:47:28,081 --> 00:47:30,761
Speaker 1: have to join in with these boys because there's nothing

1096
00:47:30,801 --> 00:47:33,361
Speaker 1: for us for me to do. And then that's when

1097
00:47:33,361 --> 00:47:36,361
Speaker 1: I just started started just running boot camps in the

1098
00:47:36,441 --> 00:47:38,721
Speaker 1: yard and they started calling me in the Commando from

1099
00:47:38,761 --> 00:47:42,161
Speaker 1: the Biggest Loser, because yeah, I just started, and I

1100
00:47:42,241 --> 00:47:43,921
Speaker 1: told the boys that Everyone's like, oh, can I train

1101
00:47:44,001 --> 00:47:46,361
Speaker 1: with you? I said, yeah, you can on one condition

1102
00:47:46,841 --> 00:47:49,961
Speaker 1: that you train every day. You don't miss days. If

1103
00:47:50,001 --> 00:47:51,721
Speaker 1: you want to train with me, it's all good. Anyone

1104
00:47:51,761 --> 00:47:53,481
Speaker 1: can train, but if you miss a day, you're no

1105
00:47:53,561 --> 00:47:56,761
Speaker 1: longer welcome to train with me. And just bro the

1106
00:47:56,881 --> 00:47:59,001
Speaker 1: standing ovation almost that I got when I left that

1107
00:47:59,121 --> 00:48:01,641
Speaker 1: first jail. Even the guard was like, he's mate, I've

1108
00:48:01,681 --> 00:48:03,601
Speaker 1: never seen that before in my life. I've never seen

1109
00:48:03,601 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: a whole unit coming to shit, make someone's hand before

1110
00:48:06,001 --> 00:48:09,921
Speaker 1: they leave. It's good man, and even my missus every

1111
00:48:09,961 --> 00:48:12,161
Speaker 1: week you're right, and you're right. Yeah, I'm fucking great.

1112
00:48:12,761 --> 00:48:15,081
Speaker 1: Because she said the same thing, she goes, I couldn't

1113
00:48:15,161 --> 00:48:17,721
Speaker 1: not be good knowing that you were so good in jail,

1114
00:48:18,281 --> 00:48:20,721
Speaker 1: She goes, It'd be unfair on me to be upset

1115
00:48:21,001 --> 00:48:23,481
Speaker 1: when you're in there in the worst position of your

1116
00:48:23,521 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 1: life and you're still happy as fuck living your best life.

1117
00:48:26,881 --> 00:48:29,121
Speaker 1: She goes, I'm good because I know you're good if

1118
00:48:29,201 --> 00:48:30,961
Speaker 1: you if I knew you were in there struggling and

1119
00:48:31,081 --> 00:48:33,281
Speaker 1: doing it tough, I'd be out here doing the same.

1120
00:48:33,681 --> 00:48:35,841
Speaker 1: She goes, But I have no reason to be doing

1121
00:48:35,881 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 1: it tough when you're in there meant to be doing

1122
00:48:38,001 --> 00:48:40,601
Speaker 1: it tough. But you're in there fucking great, living your

1123
00:48:40,641 --> 00:48:43,441
Speaker 1: best life, making an impact on as many lives as possible.

1124
00:48:44,001 --> 00:48:45,241
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, I'm just going to turn

1125
00:48:45,241 --> 00:48:47,761
Speaker 1: a negative into a positive. If I sit around feeling

1126
00:48:47,761 --> 00:48:51,161
Speaker 1: sorry and depressed and miserable and fucking you know, yeah,

1127
00:48:51,201 --> 00:48:54,241
Speaker 1: exactly right. So I told myself, like, I will never

1128
00:48:54,841 --> 00:48:57,161
Speaker 1: do that to my daughter, and I will never ever

1129
00:48:57,601 --> 00:48:59,401
Speaker 1: as much as I failed her by being away from her,

1130
00:48:59,441 --> 00:49:01,121
Speaker 1: but I told myself that I will never fail her.

1131
00:49:01,761 --> 00:49:04,321
Speaker 1: And for me, not failing her was training every day

1132
00:49:04,681 --> 00:49:07,801
Speaker 1: and not giving into the ship inside. And that's all

1133
00:49:07,841 --> 00:49:10,241
Speaker 1: I gave a fun about Well, I wish you the

1134
00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:13,121
Speaker 1: best of look bro, and and I love what you're

1135
00:49:13,121 --> 00:49:13,761
Speaker 1: doing on TikTok.

1136
00:49:13,841 --> 00:49:15,841
Speaker 2: It's inspiring, but I could never do it because I

1137
00:49:15,921 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 2: probably haven't got the balls to do that kind of ship.

1138
00:49:17,561 --> 00:49:19,440
Speaker 1: So I'll put it out there. I take my hat

1139
00:49:19,481 --> 00:49:22,241
Speaker 1: off and it's but for everything else, Bro, I wish

1140
00:49:22,281 --> 00:49:23,321
Speaker 1: you the best to look appreciate it.

1141
00:49:23,641 --> 00:49:26,401
Speaker 2: But at last I got you on because I was

1142
00:49:26,481 --> 00:49:28,401
Speaker 2: thinking should I reach out or should I reach out?

1143
00:49:28,441 --> 00:49:30,161
Speaker 1: I actually didn't think I get replied from you. Actually,

1144
00:49:31,041 --> 00:49:33,481
Speaker 1: I replied all my dams, no matter who had to

1145
00:49:33,521 --> 00:49:35,881
Speaker 1: speaker small as well. I'm glad you did. I'm glad

1146
00:49:35,881 --> 00:49:38,481
Speaker 1: you did. I was the same I was because I'll

1147
00:49:38,481 --> 00:49:42,801
Speaker 1: followed you for years, bro, really yees years. I'm always

1148
00:49:42,841 --> 00:49:44,881
Speaker 1: followed through your stuff and as soon as seen your name.

1149
00:49:44,961 --> 00:49:47,841
Speaker 1: I was like, what the fuck and I opened thessage.

1150
00:49:47,841 --> 00:49:51,641
Speaker 1: I was like, what I fuck was? This is fucking

1151
00:49:51,761 --> 00:49:53,201
Speaker 1: sense from my body was like in a sense of

1152
00:49:53,241 --> 00:49:55,281
Speaker 1: accomplishment because I was like, I can't believe someone like

1153
00:49:55,321 --> 00:49:58,841
Speaker 1: yourself is reaching out. I appreciate that. B Thank you

1154
00:49:58,921 --> 00:50:01,761
Speaker 1: for coming on. Thanks having appreciate it. Thanks Bro, thank

1155
00:50:01,801 --> 00:50:02,601
Speaker 1: you having a good day.