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Speaker 1: Appoche production. Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am

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Speaker 1: Neil the muscle comments and in.

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Speaker 2: This episode I speak to consciously Ash, a former stripper

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Speaker 2: and sex worker turn spiritualistic monk.

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Speaker 3: I found the military was like college. I spent more

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Speaker 3: time drinking, partying, and played rugby. I reached out to

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Speaker 3: my friend again and he got me a job as

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Speaker 3: a stripper. My justification behind it was I used to

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Speaker 3: get naked in the army for free whilst I was drinking.

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Speaker 1: I may as well get paid for it.

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Speaker 3: First time I hadn't got a button naked in front

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Speaker 3: of one hundred and twenty people was the event where.

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Speaker 1: My parents found out that I was a stripper.

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Speaker 3: So I jumped back into only fans where I felt

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Speaker 3: like I was really selling my soul. And basically, it's

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Speaker 3: a thirty day retreat where you can go live as

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Speaker 3: a month for thirty days experience the life of a monk.

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Speaker 2: Before we get into the nitty gritty of your life,

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Speaker 2: because I've kind of had to google and search your

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Speaker 2: whole life, and yeah, a lot comes up, A lot

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Speaker 2: comes up. We'll start off like with you growing up

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Speaker 2: and you know your first job and through school and

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Speaker 2: your family, and then we'll get into the nitty.

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Speaker 1: Gritty, well do it. I was. I was born in Sydney.

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Speaker 1: I was born in the Northern Beaches in Manley.

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Speaker 3: And then over the years like my family and I'm

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Speaker 3: moving to golden Southern table Lands in between Camber and Sydney,

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Speaker 3: and for them, man like, I never liked it. I

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Speaker 3: was teased a lot as a kid. I remember there

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Speaker 3: was one moment because we used to have little lump

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Speaker 3: somewhere as you kind of see one there still, And

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Speaker 3: bless my mum, she did the right thing, what she

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Speaker 3: thought was right. She goes told the kids that Sato

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Speaker 3: won't give them any presents because the kids used to

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Speaker 3: call me elf ears, so she's I told the kids

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Speaker 3: are never going to get any presents from Santa.

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Speaker 1: So I did that.

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Speaker 3: Obviously we know exactly how that turned out. I played rugby,

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Speaker 3: so I played rugby a lot, so I love playing rugby.

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Speaker 3: I played for the Southern table Lands. I played in Canberra.

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Speaker 3: I played in the Black Division like I played like

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Speaker 3: good level rugby. Then at seventeen I joined the military,

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Speaker 3: which was good like today. So as soon as I

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Speaker 3: left school, like I did the whole work at McDonald's work,

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Speaker 3: at Hungry Jack's work, at all those places. I left

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Speaker 3: school in year ten because I didn't like being told

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Speaker 3: what to do and it just never registered with me.

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Speaker 3: So I, for some reason I joined the military, where

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Speaker 3: I was.

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Speaker 1: Told what to do again, And is that always what

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Speaker 1: you wanted to do?

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Speaker 3: Look, so I did air cannets when I was younger,

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Speaker 3: and I was always really into that sort of military

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Speaker 3: style thing, but I never thought about joining them until

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Speaker 3: like when I was seventeen. They I had left school,

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Speaker 3: I was working the Abatwise. I hated the advatise because

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Speaker 3: I remember seeing I got in there and there were

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Speaker 3: these guys that had never left Goldwin that were working

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Speaker 3: in the abbatwires that were going on the knives. There

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Speaker 3: were only one thousand dollars a week, and this is

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Speaker 3: back in two thousand and six, two and seven, and

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Speaker 3: they're like, mate, this is the best job in the world.

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Speaker 3: You can literally on a thousand dollars a week. You

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Speaker 3: work half the day and then you're off. And it

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Speaker 3: was like the place stunk. It was a dead end

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Speaker 3: sort of place. And I remember these guys were telling me,

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Speaker 3: this is what I aspired to be in life. And

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Speaker 3: I was just like no. So I got to the

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Speaker 3: point I wasn't working anymore and I was arguing with

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Speaker 3: my mom. There was one day, I remember it clear

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Speaker 3: as day. She was basically in the kitchen. She was

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Speaker 3: screaming at me. I was screaming back at her, and

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Speaker 3: I basically stood up and I was like I went,

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Speaker 3: grabbed the keys and walked out the door.

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Speaker 1: Mom goes, where are you going?

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Speaker 3: I said, I'm joining the fucking army. So I drove

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Speaker 3: from Golden to Camera when got the actual when said

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Speaker 3: to the people the recruitment center, I want to join,

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Speaker 3: and they go, yeah, here's a CD, look at what

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Speaker 3: job you want to do. So I did that, didn't

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Speaker 3: say drove back to Golden, didn't say a word to Mum,

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Speaker 3: looked at everything, then basically left again and went back

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Speaker 3: into the car and drove back to Camera, and I

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Speaker 3: said to the lady, I'm like, I want to join transport,

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Speaker 3: and she's like, well that one. I can't make that

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Speaker 3: for you too. You call the number on the back

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Speaker 3: of the CD. You don't come back. So I drove

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Speaker 3: the entire way back and all I had to do

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Speaker 3: was call the phone number. Anyway, as soon as I

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Speaker 3: told mom I was joining the army. We got along

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Speaker 3: like that because I was how long how long you

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Speaker 3: are in the military for I did five years, so

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Speaker 3: didn't go overseas. I started off as infantry, tore my

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Speaker 3: knee finally to go on a transport, and then when

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Speaker 3: I was there, I missed out three times. There was

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Speaker 3: the first time I got done drinking when I shouldn't

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Speaker 3: have been. Yeah, yeah, I got drinking, done drinking when

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Speaker 3: I shouldn't have been. The second time, my sergeant told

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Speaker 3: me that he could do my job, so he took

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Speaker 3: my spot and he went over. And the third time

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Speaker 3: was I'll get ready for it to pre deployment training,

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Speaker 3: and my RSM didn't like the fact that I used

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Speaker 3: to play rugby in touch the whole time, so he

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Speaker 3: was basically like, you're not going overseas. You're getting hosted

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Speaker 3: to Darwin on Townsville. I was like, definitely not. So

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Speaker 3: I put my discharge in. Try to call his buff

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Speaker 3: and I discharged. Wow. So I found the military was

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Speaker 3: like college. I spent more time drinking, partying and playing rugby.

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Speaker 1: And that was great.

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Speaker 3: From there, I ended up working on the train line

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Speaker 3: for BHP out in Western Australia and I did that

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Speaker 3: for a year and it was amazing that I think

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Speaker 3: in that year I made one hundred and sixty K,

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Speaker 3: and I have no idea where it went. At the

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Speaker 3: age of like, you're given a twenty one year old,

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Speaker 3: twenty two year old one hundred and sixty K with

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Speaker 3: zero money guidance is going to disappear very quickly. So

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Speaker 3: I was out there and one of my best friends, Blake,

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Speaker 3: he was like, dude, just go get some life experience, travel,

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Speaker 3: go to the UK. And I was like, fuck it,

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Speaker 3: why not? So I handed my resignation and basically went

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Speaker 3: back to live with my parents for a couple of months. Now,

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Speaker 3: at this point in time, my family had all moved

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Speaker 3: up to Queensland on the Sunshine Coast, so I was

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Speaker 3: over there living and working with them, helping them run

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Speaker 3: their business for a bit. Whilst I was there, prepping

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Speaker 3: to go over to the UK, I got their two

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Speaker 3: year youth mobility scheme, so as I went over, I

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Speaker 3: was able to work. But I decided it was a

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Speaker 3: great idea to travel at the start. Stupid me because

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Speaker 3: I went traveling, did a lot of Europe. I drank

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Speaker 3: my way through Europe. I experienced so much I got

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Speaker 3: to see.

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Speaker 1: It was incredible. Dude, I did some.

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Speaker 3: There was a point, like I went, we were partying

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Speaker 3: up until November. November I went and joined my mum,

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Speaker 3: who was working in Cyprus at that point in time,

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Speaker 3: and this is twenty and thirteen. I went and joined

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Speaker 3: her because she was working for the UN. So I

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Speaker 3: went and joined her and spent a month of drinking,

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Speaker 3: which was good. From that, I went traveling started December,

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Speaker 3: and dude, I drank. I went through Istanbul, Budapest, Crack

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Speaker 3: of Barcelona, Paris, Edinburgh, Berlin, like I did all these things.

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Speaker 3: But after a month of straight drinking, I remember we

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Speaker 3: were in We're kogamany So the world's biggest street party

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Speaker 3: in Edinburgh for New Years, and my liver had stopped

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Speaker 3: hurting by this point in time, Like I think that

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Speaker 3: night I did a bottle of Cafe Patron, a bottle

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Speaker 3: of wine, a bottle of vodka and something else, and

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Speaker 3: I was still the last man standing the following day.

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Speaker 1: Like that was ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: So from that point I ended up spending all my

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Speaker 3: money and I was like, I'm gonna go home, don't I?

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Speaker 3: So I went home, and then I stopped drinking. Like

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Speaker 3: as soon as I landed Man, I could feel my

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Speaker 3: live up just punching me for how much I'd been drinking.

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Speaker 1: And so a little bit it happened.

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Speaker 3: I was there working for business with mom and dad again,

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Speaker 3: and my parents said, look, you're wasting an opportunity here.

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Speaker 1: You're twenty three years old.

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Speaker 3: Get your ass back to the UK, find yourself a job,

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Speaker 3: will pay for you to get over there.

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Speaker 1: You're not wasting this. She got a two year visa.

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Speaker 3: So I reached out to my friend again who convinced

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Speaker 3: me to go in the first place, and he got

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Speaker 3: me a job as a stripper. Now my justification behind

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Speaker 3: it was I used to get naked in the army

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Speaker 3: for free whilst I was drinking.

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Speaker 1: I may as well get paid for it. So I.

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Speaker 3: Told my parents that I was doing security because I

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Speaker 3: wouldn't have let me go if I was a stripper.

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Speaker 3: So they paid for my flight and I remember getting

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Speaker 3: down to Cornwall and now at this point in time,

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Speaker 3: the guy that I was living with doing all this with,

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Speaker 3: he also wanted me to go door knocking. Now I

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Speaker 3: had no idea what he meant by door knocking. Found

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Speaker 3: out when I got there. He was a dealer as

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Speaker 3: well well, so he was asking me to go collect money.

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Speaker 3: Fuck so I was like, no, that's not fucking happening, mate,

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Speaker 3: I am not doing that. That's that's just against my

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Speaker 3: moral compass completely. I don't wrong, I've taken my fair

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Speaker 3: show in Nicothics in my life, but I'm not going

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Speaker 3: knocking on doors to try to get.

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Speaker 1: Money for people. Anyway.

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Speaker 3: He promised me the world of what the stripping was

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Speaker 3: going to be, and it was nowhere near that. Like

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Speaker 3: I think in three months, I made three four hundred

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Speaker 3: quid the entire.

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Speaker 1: Time I was there, and I think, what were you

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Speaker 1: doing private parties or what?

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Speaker 3: So they had private parties and we did two events

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Speaker 3: so funny enough. Actually the first event, first time I'd

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Speaker 3: ever got button naked in front of one hundred and

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Speaker 3: twenty people, was the event where my parents found out

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Speaker 3: that I was a stripper. So basically we'd been doing it.

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Speaker 3: I've done like two privates and two main shows. The

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Speaker 3: main show again the first time I've done this, he

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Speaker 3: was like, just basically get on stage, wiggle around, take

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Speaker 3: your jacket off, go to that set of table, rip

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Speaker 3: your shirt off, come down this set of tables, rip

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Speaker 3: your trousers off, get on stage, take your underwear off,

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Speaker 3: and do a windmill.

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Speaker 1: So I fucking I did exactly that. I did exactly that.

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Speaker 1: I got on stage and did a windmill. Now there

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Speaker 1: is a photo.

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Speaker 3: It's a very blurry photo, but someone took a photo

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Speaker 3: of me standing on stage go be like that stark naked,

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Speaker 3: and basically my friend found it and tagging me on Facebook.

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Speaker 3: So about a couple of days later, I get a

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Speaker 3: message from my mum going, we're not upset, We're just disappointed,

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Speaker 3: and I was just like.

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Speaker 1: Okay. So I obviously told him what I was doing.

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Speaker 3: But at the same time, we were working for defense

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Speaker 3: contractors for the military, so we were still getting paid.

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Speaker 3: We were able to go to Germany do things for

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Speaker 3: the military as enemy party. From that, I wanted to

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Speaker 3: get away from where I was. I didn't like it,

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Speaker 3: so I'm like, okay, I want to get a job.

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Speaker 3: I want to start model because everyone kept saying, dude,

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Speaker 3: you're a good looking lad.

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Speaker 1: Start modeling.

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Speaker 3: So I went to London. I did photo shoot with

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Speaker 3: this company which was called Raw and Models. It turned

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Speaker 3: out it was one of those scam things where They

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Speaker 3: basically asked you to pay a shipload of money, give

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Speaker 3: you average ass photos and to the industry is going

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Speaker 3: to do this anyway. So I did that, and I

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Speaker 3: remember I was on the phone call to him and

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Speaker 3: the guy was like, if you want to make it

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Speaker 3: be a model, you've got to move to London. So

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Speaker 3: I was like done. So I basically reached out to

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Speaker 3: a company called Forbidden Nights and for bidd Nights had

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Speaker 3: a Saturday show at Pasha, which used to be across

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Speaker 3: the road from Victoria Station. So they said, yeah, come in,

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Speaker 3: let's let's have a chat. So I went up to

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Speaker 3: London and basically I said to him, I remember I

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Speaker 3: got there early, dude. I remember looking at these boys

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Speaker 3: on the website and I was like, my god, they're

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Speaker 3: all famous. Look at and they've got show real they've

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Speaker 3: got all these sort of things. And I remember walking

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Speaker 3: in there and I remember looking at them all thinking

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Speaker 3: they all looked like ken dolls. But I watched the

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Speaker 3: show and the show was incredible. Not only were there

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Speaker 3: three hundred screaming women, these boys were on stage having fun,

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Speaker 3: just a bunch of lads. So at the end of

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Speaker 3: the show they bade he said, ladies, this is Ossie

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Speaker 3: at his birthday, who thinks he should do a strip.

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Speaker 1: So I got on stage and I did a strip.

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Speaker 3: I jumped on some girl bump and grind, took a

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Speaker 3: shirt off, and then had to lead the girls upstairs

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Speaker 3: to where the photos were. Anyway, a few days later,

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Speaker 3: the boss gave me a phone call and he's like, look,

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Speaker 3: we can't afford to have you, which is not in

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Speaker 3: our budget. And I was like, dude, I will work

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Speaker 3: for free. I just want to be a part of

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Speaker 3: what we're doing. I really love this this. And then

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Speaker 3: as you hear that I want so he gave me,

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Speaker 3: he goes, I give you a call back, called me back,

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Speaker 3: and about thirty minutes later I was like, I'll give

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Speaker 3: you fifty quit a show. So at this point we

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Speaker 3: were only doing Saturday shows. I was living on a

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Speaker 3: friend's couch. I just started work as a personal trainer

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Speaker 3: in New Barnett, North London, and I was like, cool,

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Speaker 3: I need to find a place to live because I

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Speaker 3: couldn't live on my friend's couch for fucking ever. So

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Speaker 3: I remember I had gone to this I found this place,

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Speaker 3: this lady I'd convinced her to do the four hundred

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Speaker 3: pound a month's read and instead of paying the bond,

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Speaker 3: I will look after the garden.

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Speaker 1: Because I used to be do some gardening as well,

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Speaker 1: So that fucking hell, man of all trades, you aren't man, fucking.

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Speaker 3: Jack of all trades. Marshals and nine and I was

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Speaker 3: working at the gym. So I was working at the

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Speaker 3: gym around the corners of pt And at this point

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Speaker 3: I was paying four and a pound a month rent

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Speaker 3: to the house. I was paying five hundred pound a

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Speaker 3: month rent to the gym. I got a one thousand

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Speaker 3: pound loan off a friend, which took me about a

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Speaker 3: year and a half to payback. And I only had

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Speaker 3: one client in the gym, and I was only making

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Speaker 3: two hundred pound a month doing the show as a

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Speaker 3: stage hand. So I'm like, I don't remember how I

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Speaker 3: was making money. I think I was doing like there

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Speaker 3: were some events things where I could have been, like

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Speaker 3: you know, you know where you go to like common

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Speaker 3: Garden or wherever you go into the streets during Christmas

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Speaker 3: and people are handing things out. I think I was

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Speaker 3: doing that for like maybe eighty quid, it for like

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Speaker 3: eight hours or ten an hour or something. So I

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Speaker 3: was doing that, and I then started bodybuilding at the

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Speaker 3: same time, so fucking God did everything.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, look, I've got nothing I was

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Speaker 1: to lose.

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Speaker 3: I was going through this phase of someone gave me

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Speaker 3: a book called Asking. It is given by Esther Hicks,

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Speaker 3: which is at Channeled Work. So I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: let's read this. And this got me started on the

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Speaker 3: power of affirmation and manifestation. So like, I usually go

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Speaker 3: to bed every night with the external affirmations of I

300
00:13:22,241 --> 00:13:25,841
Speaker 3: am successful, I'm rich, I'm wealthy, I'm financially free, all

301
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Speaker 3: these things that I'd say to myself this moment I

302
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Speaker 3: wake up, the moment I go to bed, I was prepping.

303
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Speaker 3: I was mill prepping, I was training. I had a

304
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Speaker 3: solid routine of what was going on, and because I

305
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Speaker 3: had nothing to lose, everything was just happening.

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Speaker 1: I was there with the flow.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm twenty three years old, living in the UK,

308
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Speaker 3: i am a stage hand at a strip show.

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Speaker 1: I'm working in a gym.

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Speaker 3: I'm able to bodybuild, I can somehow afford to live,

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Speaker 3: like I was just on this cloud night. Anyway, a

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Speaker 3: few weeks after I'd started working as a stage hand,

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Speaker 3: I had finished it in the stage. I turned up

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Speaker 3: early every Saturday. I was setting the chairs, I was

315
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:05,001
Speaker 3: setting the rigs, I was doing everything like I'm at work.

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Speaker 3: So I was like, I'm going to just show these

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Speaker 3: boys what I'm worth, because at the end of the day,

318
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Speaker 3: man he took a chance on me when no one

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Speaker 3: else would and for that I'm forever grapeful with that.

320
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Speaker 3: We then had I picked up the fire staff, so

321
00:14:17,801 --> 00:14:23,801
Speaker 3: I'm a fire performer as well. So I picked up

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00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:26,161
Speaker 3: the fire staff and started playing with it and they

323
00:14:26,201 --> 00:14:28,361
Speaker 3: were like, we didn't know you could do that, and

324
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:29,881
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, yeah, it's something I can do.

325
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Speaker 3: Didn't think anything of it. A few weeks later, one

326
00:14:33,321 --> 00:14:36,201
Speaker 3: of my friends, Lewis was he became our host. He

327
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Speaker 3: was like, bro, they're going to put you in the show.

328
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Speaker 3: They're going to put your rehearsals. And I was like,

329
00:14:40,201 --> 00:14:41,721
Speaker 3: fuck no, man, I'm a rubbing player. I don't know

330
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Speaker 3: how to dance. And they're like, no, no, they're going to

331
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Speaker 3: teach you. So basically what had happened. The fire guy

332
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Speaker 3: was leaving just by a chance, so they put me

333
00:14:49,721 --> 00:14:52,961
Speaker 3: into rehearsals. I took his spot. It took me three

334
00:14:53,001 --> 00:14:55,961
Speaker 3: weeks to learn half a routine. It was wild. But

335
00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:57,961
Speaker 3: what we were rehearsing for was that Britain's Got Talent

336
00:14:58,001 --> 00:15:01,281
Speaker 3: audition in twenty fourteen, so I was trying to learn

337
00:15:01,281 --> 00:15:02,961
Speaker 3: how to do that at the same time, I was

338
00:15:02,961 --> 00:15:06,001
Speaker 3: then trying to learn all the routines. Now, dude, I

339
00:15:06,081 --> 00:15:09,201
Speaker 3: for years, I'm talking up until I left, the only

340
00:15:09,281 --> 00:15:13,001
Speaker 3: playlist I'd really have in my ears was the routines

341
00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:15,801
Speaker 3: that I needed to know and learn. I'd be rehearsing

342
00:15:15,841 --> 00:15:18,641
Speaker 3: in the shower, in the gym, at home, anywhere, because

343
00:15:19,321 --> 00:15:21,481
Speaker 3: I'm not strong dancer, so I needed to make sure

344
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:24,121
Speaker 3: that I was going to be the best I could. Anyway,

345
00:15:24,681 --> 00:15:26,601
Speaker 3: we did Britain's Got Talent. That was amazing. There was

346
00:15:26,601 --> 00:15:28,041
Speaker 3: so much that was meant to come from it. But

347
00:15:28,401 --> 00:15:30,921
Speaker 3: because it's Britain's Got Talent as a show, if you

348
00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:32,641
Speaker 3: make it past the first round, you have to sign

349
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:35,441
Speaker 3: a contract, which means anything that you do Britain's Got

350
00:15:35,481 --> 00:15:37,361
Speaker 3: Talent home. So we were like, well, there's no point.

351
00:15:37,481 --> 00:15:40,401
Speaker 3: We already have a show, so we couldn't create something new.

352
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:42,641
Speaker 3: So we were like, fuck it, let's just continue on.

353
00:15:42,761 --> 00:15:45,001
Speaker 3: So what we did was we got over eighty nine

354
00:15:45,041 --> 00:15:48,601
Speaker 3: million views on that video. Like, we went from doing

355
00:15:48,841 --> 00:15:51,321
Speaker 3: probably about forty shows a year up to one hundred

356
00:15:51,361 --> 00:15:53,841
Speaker 3: and seventy shows a year. We were traveling in the

357
00:15:53,881 --> 00:15:56,321
Speaker 3: UK before me in theaters like we do shows. I

358
00:15:56,321 --> 00:15:58,761
Speaker 3: remember we did a show of like ten people one time,

359
00:15:59,401 --> 00:16:03,721
Speaker 3: and we've also done shows of twelve, thirteen hundred people.

360
00:16:04,241 --> 00:16:06,641
Speaker 3: It was wild. We were a bunch of lads that

361
00:16:06,721 --> 00:16:09,561
Speaker 3: were brothers. We were a family. We did literally did

362
00:16:09,561 --> 00:16:12,521
Speaker 3: everything together. We traveled the UK in a sprinter van

363
00:16:12,601 --> 00:16:14,641
Speaker 3: with our faces on the side of it that we

364
00:16:14,761 --> 00:16:16,441
Speaker 3: did all the theaters, everywhere we could.

365
00:16:16,481 --> 00:16:18,401
Speaker 1: It was amazing and you were making good money from

366
00:16:18,401 --> 00:16:18,681
Speaker 1: it too.

367
00:16:19,481 --> 00:16:23,121
Speaker 3: No, dude, the thing is with male strippers, the ones

368
00:16:23,121 --> 00:16:25,561
Speaker 3: that I've done, when you're in those kind of shows

369
00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:28,161
Speaker 3: like look dream Boys. Yes they did, but they had

370
00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:30,721
Speaker 3: more of a budget and a bigger name. We were

371
00:16:30,801 --> 00:16:33,801
Speaker 3: a family that was working hard. So I think per

372
00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:36,281
Speaker 3: show the max I get was two hundred and fifty quick.

373
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Speaker 1: Wow.

374
00:16:37,961 --> 00:16:41,761
Speaker 3: But on top the thing on top of that was like, look,

375
00:16:41,961 --> 00:16:43,921
Speaker 3: I could make we do four shows a week. You're

376
00:16:43,921 --> 00:16:46,481
Speaker 3: walking away with one thousand pounds so and that was

377
00:16:46,521 --> 00:16:48,081
Speaker 3: a lot more than a lot of people were making.

378
00:16:48,161 --> 00:16:50,681
Speaker 3: Plus I was a personal trainer. Plus I was doing

379
00:16:50,721 --> 00:16:53,601
Speaker 3: only fans, Plus I was doing muscle work. I was

380
00:16:53,641 --> 00:16:58,761
Speaker 3: doing all these things where I was performing in other areas. Yeah,

381
00:16:58,801 --> 00:17:01,281
Speaker 3: I'll do There's so much to this story. I was

382
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:05,161
Speaker 3: making good money with muscle worship, only fans, codline coaching,

383
00:17:05,201 --> 00:17:09,041
Speaker 3: and performing. I was still living a life where I

384
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,761
Speaker 3: was still very comfortable in my time. But I was

385
00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:16,840
Speaker 3: still earning about eight k a month, like eight pounds

386
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:18,801
Speaker 3: a month, and I was literally living on my terms.

387
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,961
Speaker 3: So I've gone from this kid who didn't know how

388
00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:22,721
Speaker 3: he was living to make an eight k a month.

389
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:23,201
Speaker 1: Fuck.

390
00:17:23,281 --> 00:17:27,600
Speaker 3: Yeah. But all in this time, Like I then got married,

391
00:17:28,241 --> 00:17:32,201
Speaker 3: So I was married. We were like best friendly. Yeah,

392
00:17:32,241 --> 00:17:34,241
Speaker 3: so we were both sort of in the same industry.

393
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,561
Speaker 3: Like the story how it unfolded was beautiful because we

394
00:17:37,561 --> 00:17:40,801
Speaker 3: were we were like best friends, but it was also

395
00:17:40,921 --> 00:17:42,721
Speaker 3: one thing where I had to learn so much in

396
00:17:42,801 --> 00:17:46,720
Speaker 3: this relationship. So what ended up happening was during this

397
00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:50,001
Speaker 3: time was like I was going through this whole awakening subconsciously,

398
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 3: Like I wasn't really aware of what was happening, but

399
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 3: there were things that were going on. I was always learning,

400
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:58,680
Speaker 3: listening to podcasts, listening to audiobooks, always trying to better myself,

401
00:17:58,721 --> 00:18:02,001
Speaker 3: improve myself. It came to COVID, we lost everything, so

402
00:18:02,041 --> 00:18:04,120
Speaker 3: I really had to start diving into breath work and

403
00:18:04,201 --> 00:18:07,401
Speaker 3: learning things about myself within that sort of space. As

404
00:18:07,441 --> 00:18:09,761
Speaker 3: all this was happening as well, Like I had become

405
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:14,041
Speaker 3: a professional bodybuilder in three federations, so PCA, w BFF

406
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,600
Speaker 3: and I FBB I.

407
00:18:15,481 --> 00:18:19,200
Speaker 1: Had was that natural? Natural or natural? No no, no

408
00:18:19,201 --> 00:18:20,761
Speaker 1: no no.

409
00:18:20,041 --> 00:18:20,640
Speaker 3: No no no.

410
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:24,921
Speaker 2: I'm only saying I'm only saying natural because I'm trying

411
00:18:24,921 --> 00:18:26,400
Speaker 2: to think where you're gonna get the money from PA

412
00:18:26,681 --> 00:18:27,801
Speaker 2: to get the step.

413
00:18:29,761 --> 00:18:33,441
Speaker 1: Me. It is so cheap. Like I remember I came

414
00:18:33,441 --> 00:18:34,201
Speaker 1: back to Australia.

415
00:18:34,241 --> 00:18:36,120
Speaker 3: At one point I was going through my post cycle

416
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,041
Speaker 3: and the lady was like she went through my bag,

417
00:18:39,321 --> 00:18:41,200
Speaker 3: and like every time I came back to Australia to

418
00:18:41,281 --> 00:18:45,640
Speaker 3: visit family because of my size, you they'd inconspicuously walk

419
00:18:45,721 --> 00:18:48,120
Speaker 3: over to me as if they weren't targeting me at all,

420
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,960
Speaker 3: and You're like, excuse me, circle check your bags or

421
00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:51,841
Speaker 3: your bodybuilder.

422
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:54,521
Speaker 1: You know, they spent two hours going through my bag.

423
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,600
Speaker 3: And I remember how I had this one lady she

424
00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:01,321
Speaker 3: was let's just say a not very athletic individual going

425
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:03,761
Speaker 3: through my bag and she's pulling out all of my

426
00:19:03,801 --> 00:19:06,641
Speaker 3: supplements like protein in creating, glued to me and all

427
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,001
Speaker 3: these sorts of things as well as I had my

428
00:19:09,041 --> 00:19:11,921
Speaker 3: post cycle in this. I commet into mooxiphon, but basically

429
00:19:11,961 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 3: she was pulling through everything and she was like, excuse me, so, oh,

430
00:19:14,761 --> 00:19:16,680
Speaker 3: this is illegal. I go to supplements stores. I know

431
00:19:16,721 --> 00:19:21,281
Speaker 3: you can't buy this, and I'm like, that's incorrect. That's

432
00:19:21,321 --> 00:19:24,281
Speaker 3: protein powder, that's glue to me and that's creating. Like

433
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 3: all of this stuff is legal. You can buy this

434
00:19:26,201 --> 00:19:30,041
Speaker 3: all at a shop. Maybe this the colomet intomoxiphon. You're

435
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,761
Speaker 3: probably not, Like I'm from the UK. You can buy

436
00:19:33,761 --> 00:19:35,601
Speaker 3: these things. These are a part of the post psychotherapy,

437
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:39,121
Speaker 3: but everything else probably not. So anyway, after about two

438
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,761
Speaker 3: hours they decided to let me go with all of

439
00:19:40,761 --> 00:19:41,840
Speaker 3: my supplements.

440
00:19:42,441 --> 00:19:42,761
Speaker 1: Wow.

441
00:19:42,801 --> 00:19:46,001
Speaker 3: So I was doing all of this stuff whilst growing

442
00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 3: through a big awakening, that is the big thing. Like

443
00:19:48,481 --> 00:19:50,961
Speaker 3: I was bodybuilding, I was stripping, I was only fans.

444
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 3: I was in a marriage that was failing. I was

445
00:19:54,801 --> 00:20:00,361
Speaker 3: in pushing myself to the limit of competitions, where like, look,

446
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,681
Speaker 3: the height of vulnerability is pushing yourself through twenty weeks

447
00:20:03,681 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 3: of the most intense prep to then stand on stage

448
00:20:06,761 --> 00:20:09,160
Speaker 3: with forty other guys to be judged by people who

449
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 3: have no idea who I am, to be told if

450
00:20:10,921 --> 00:20:14,880
Speaker 3: I'm good enough or not. Then combine that with stripping.

451
00:20:15,241 --> 00:20:18,281
Speaker 3: I'm not a strong dancer. I found my passion being

452
00:20:18,281 --> 00:20:22,961
Speaker 3: on stage as an entertainer. But going from not being

453
00:20:23,001 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 3: able to dance to then stand in front of a

454
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 3: crowd three hundred women half naked, mess something up and

455
00:20:28,481 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 3: then be okay with it Within myself was another thing

456
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:36,161
Speaker 3: of learning how to become okay with not being okay.

457
00:20:36,281 --> 00:20:39,041
Speaker 3: That makes sense, and I think there was a running

458
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,681
Speaker 3: joke because my legs were so big. Whenever I'd tear

459
00:20:41,721 --> 00:20:44,440
Speaker 3: my trousers off, it wasn't sexy. I'd do a trouser

460
00:20:44,481 --> 00:20:46,521
Speaker 3: riper I'd taken down, but they get caught over my

461
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,521
Speaker 3: quads or over my car, so you'd see me basically

462
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,201
Speaker 3: jumping around on the stage trying to get it off.

463
00:20:50,201 --> 00:20:52,281
Speaker 3: It turned into more of comedy show what should happen,

464
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 3: but basically COVID happened.

465
00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:55,001
Speaker 1: We lost everything.

466
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 3: I was getting deep into breath work, and this is

467
00:20:57,441 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 3: where my marriage really started.

468
00:20:58,721 --> 00:20:59,321
Speaker 1: Falling apart.

469
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 3: I got diagnosed with ADHD after COVID and I was

470
00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:06,881
Speaker 3: then like, okay, I'm not stripping anymore. I'd stepped away

471
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,801
Speaker 3: from stripping and I started. I was like, I'm going

472
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,001
Speaker 3: to focus on my personal training business. So being a

473
00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:14,321
Speaker 3: bodybuilder having the name I did, I was like, I

474
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:19,160
Speaker 3: had a really well, doing well coaching business. From that after,

475
00:21:19,241 --> 00:21:20,761
Speaker 3: my marriage was getting to the point I'm like, I

476
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 3: can't be here anymore. I can't be in this energy.

477
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,400
Speaker 3: I moved out to try to save the marriage, to

478
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,761
Speaker 3: see if the removing our energies could work a bus

479
00:21:27,801 --> 00:21:31,200
Speaker 3: getting back together. Unfortunately it didn't. I got back in

480
00:21:31,201 --> 00:21:33,321
Speaker 3: about two days later. I ended up moving out. I'm like,

481
00:21:33,321 --> 00:21:35,401
Speaker 3: I can't do this. And at that point in time,

482
00:21:35,441 --> 00:21:37,041
Speaker 3: I was prepping for the biggest show of my life,

483
00:21:37,041 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 3: which was the Arnolds. So I think a month before

484
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:43,440
Speaker 3: the Arnolds I moved out. I then found a new

485
00:21:43,441 --> 00:21:46,200
Speaker 3: place to live at that point in time because I

486
00:21:46,281 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 3: was in such a bad state with the two shows

487
00:21:48,961 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 3: prior that year. I was cheating, I was running so

488
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:55,561
Speaker 3: much gear. I was with the Empro Classic and the

489
00:21:55,561 --> 00:21:59,801
Speaker 3: Sharu Classic and the Yarnolds. I was following my calories

490
00:21:59,801 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 3: more than anything, but using an air fry for chicken

491
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 3: and chips, bait chicken, chips and vegetables. So I was

492
00:22:04,001 --> 00:22:07,801
Speaker 3: really slacking on my die. I was heavily relying on

493
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,961
Speaker 3: the gear. I was in a very depressed stag, smoking

494
00:22:11,041 --> 00:22:15,801
Speaker 3: so much weed every day. And I remember the second show,

495
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,561
Speaker 3: so the Shrew Classic. I was standing at the back

496
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 3: and I look, I've torn my lap. So if you

497
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 3: see that I've tore my lap, waitboar him so I

498
00:22:22,961 --> 00:22:25,801
Speaker 3: don't have the wits anymore. I remember standing on that

499
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 3: stage and out of fifteen guys who were there, they

500
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,601
Speaker 3: did the callouts, and they only called the top fourteen

501
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,360
Speaker 3: and I was stood there and never got called out.

502
00:22:33,321 --> 00:22:36,001
Speaker 3: And straight away, when you're going through a breakup, when

503
00:22:36,041 --> 00:22:38,801
Speaker 3: you're that depressed, when you're that messed up, everything is

504
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,360
Speaker 3: running through your head going am I fucking good enough?

505
00:22:42,201 --> 00:22:44,880
Speaker 1: Like man, I was in such a bad state.

506
00:22:45,321 --> 00:22:47,801
Speaker 3: And even the judge when I finally got a hold

507
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,640
Speaker 3: of him a few days later, which is like, oh, sorry,

508
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,640
Speaker 3: it was a mistake, I was just like, oh, I

509
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,521
Speaker 3: could have if he was there, I could have punched

510
00:22:55,561 --> 00:22:58,281
Speaker 3: out shit and do it anyway. I then did the

511
00:22:58,281 --> 00:23:01,561
Speaker 3: final show, I dropped ten kilos in three weeks just

512
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,360
Speaker 3: to get myself into the condition that I could be

513
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,680
Speaker 3: on that stage. Because I switched coaches as well, I

514
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,761
Speaker 3: was like, okay, what do I do now. I'm not

515
00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:10,481
Speaker 3: going to bodybuild it anymore. So I stepped out and

516
00:23:10,521 --> 00:23:13,161
Speaker 3: I started trying to really focus on my own personal development.

517
00:23:13,241 --> 00:23:15,801
Speaker 3: I was like, to be fair, I actually jumped on

518
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,921
Speaker 3: a bulking cycle. I started running insulin. I started running everything.

519
00:23:18,961 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 3: I got myself to one hundred and five kilos. I

520
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 3: was trying to still numb the pain of what was

521
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,920
Speaker 3: going on, still smoking a lot of weed whilst trying

522
00:23:26,921 --> 00:23:30,241
Speaker 3: to work through this struggle. I was facing of losing

523
00:23:30,241 --> 00:23:33,681
Speaker 3: a marriage, losing who I was trying to refine myself again,

524
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,921
Speaker 3: trying to find out who I am, trying to find

525
00:23:35,961 --> 00:23:37,881
Speaker 3: out what I'm going to do with my life. All

526
00:23:37,921 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 3: at the same time, my coaching business was slowly failing.

527
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 3: There was so much happening, and I was like, what

528
00:23:43,481 --> 00:23:46,321
Speaker 3: do I do? So I jumped back into OnlyFans. My

529
00:23:46,321 --> 00:23:48,241
Speaker 3: friend convinced me, is like, open it up and see

530
00:23:48,241 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 3: how much is in there. I opened up and there

531
00:23:50,441 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 3: was a couple of grand in there, and I was like, yeah, okay,

532
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 3: let's resell our content again. So I started reselling the

533
00:23:55,921 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 3: old content that then stopped selling. So then I had

534
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,321
Speaker 3: to jump into making new content. And I was just like, fuck,

535
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:05,881
Speaker 3: here we go. So I started doing collaborations, I started

536
00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 3: making other videos again, and I was like, I got

537
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 3: to the point where I felt like I was really

538
00:24:11,041 --> 00:24:13,721
Speaker 3: selling my soul. Like the same reason why I left

539
00:24:13,721 --> 00:24:15,640
Speaker 3: in the first place was the same reason why I

540
00:24:15,681 --> 00:24:16,481
Speaker 3: left in the second place.

541
00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 1: I was selling my soul. Like I look at my friends, like,

542
00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:20,680
Speaker 1: I love the more of it.

543
00:24:20,801 --> 00:24:22,561
Speaker 3: They're still doing a lot of my friends back in

544
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 3: the UK still do the only fans.

545
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: But I see the progression that has to happen with it.

546
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,481
Speaker 3: You start, a lot of people start off with I'm

547
00:24:29,481 --> 00:24:32,001
Speaker 3: never going to show my face to their showing their face.

548
00:24:32,561 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 3: Next you know they're using toys. Next you know they're

549
00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:38,360
Speaker 3: going down there doing collaborations. Next you know they're going

550
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,801
Speaker 3: down and then going gay room. Now, look, there's zero

551
00:24:41,961 --> 00:24:45,721
Speaker 3: judgment whatsoever. But for you to promote yourself on any fans,

552
00:24:45,761 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 3: you have to be promoting on social media, and for

553
00:24:48,481 --> 00:24:50,001
Speaker 3: you to get the kind of content that you want

554
00:24:50,041 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 3: to get that people through, there has to be a

555
00:24:51,681 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 3: type of content you're doing. Like, look, I get it.

556
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,121
Speaker 3: I'm very open about only fans. I know a lot

557
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 3: of my stuff, of the videos that I did, are

558
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 3: out there. They're never going away. I get it. Like

559
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,360
Speaker 3: one day when I'm on stage speaking to stage's round, well,

560
00:25:05,441 --> 00:25:08,521
Speaker 3: doing what I'm doing, Someone's gonna pull it out and

561
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,360
Speaker 3: there's gonna be something kicks off about it. And the

562
00:25:10,441 --> 00:25:12,321
Speaker 3: more opra I am honest about it, it's like, well,

563
00:25:12,321 --> 00:25:13,281
Speaker 3: you can't fuck me over.

564
00:25:13,921 --> 00:25:15,801
Speaker 1: But the stuff that you're.

565
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,241
Speaker 3: Putting on social media for it, I find is a

566
00:25:18,321 --> 00:25:22,161
Speaker 3: very different story and you can't come back from that anyway. Again,

567
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,241
Speaker 3: there's there is zero judges there. I still support every

568
00:25:24,241 --> 00:25:25,241
Speaker 3: single one of them in exactly.

569
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:27,721
Speaker 1: So I'm surprised. I'm surprised because you've done a lot

570
00:25:27,721 --> 00:25:28,001
Speaker 1: of things.

571
00:25:28,041 --> 00:25:34,681
Speaker 2: I'm surprised you haven't done like porn or doty collaborations.

572
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,001
Speaker 1: You didn't do that kind of you wait, you actually

573
00:25:37,281 --> 00:25:37,761
Speaker 1: go down.

574
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,920
Speaker 3: That only fans collaborations. Man, So I think I shot

575
00:25:41,001 --> 00:25:43,160
Speaker 3: with Funny four collaborations.

576
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,041
Speaker 2: I think it was so when you said you were

577
00:25:45,041 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 2: going to do collaborations, I thought you're just doing you know,

578
00:25:47,561 --> 00:25:49,360
Speaker 2: the odd bit of like nudity and all like that,

579
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,001
Speaker 2: but I didn't know actually you went down there.

580
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 1: I do know it was.

581
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,961
Speaker 3: It was down in the collaboration side with other women.

582
00:25:54,561 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 3: So it was right down that root man, because it

583
00:25:56,521 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 3: was that was the way to go forward. There was

584
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 3: there was only so much I could do to myself

585
00:26:00,561 --> 00:26:04,481
Speaker 3: on camera down until it got boring. So it was like,

586
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,561
Speaker 3: what's the next stage for him? So I went down

587
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:11,001
Speaker 3: that route and like when I moved back to Australia,

588
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,481
Speaker 3: is I continued doing it. I started stripping with magic men.

589
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 3: But from the get go, man, what was promised wasn't happening.

590
00:26:17,321 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 3: We were promised Melbourne wages living in Brisbane. It was

591
00:26:20,721 --> 00:26:22,481
Speaker 3: just those guys in Melbourn can earn a load of money.

592
00:26:22,521 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 3: We barely made one thousand dollars a week living in Brisbane,

593
00:26:25,281 --> 00:26:28,801
Speaker 3: and I remember thinking I moved out from my parents'

594
00:26:28,801 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 3: house because I was staying with him for a few months.

595
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:30,920
Speaker 1: With my friend.

596
00:26:31,281 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 3: We got over an apartment and him got an apartment

597
00:26:33,201 --> 00:26:36,120
Speaker 3: down in Brisbane, and I was like, this is great.

598
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,601
Speaker 3: I'm back doing only fans. I've got this going on.

599
00:26:38,961 --> 00:26:41,481
Speaker 3: Sweet money's kind of still working. I'm making about two

600
00:26:41,521 --> 00:26:44,681
Speaker 3: grand a week. But okay, it's doable. But I wasn't

601
00:26:44,681 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 3: happy I was being undervalued at the show, and I

602
00:26:47,201 --> 00:26:50,481
Speaker 3: remember the kicker, like this thing really really pissed me off.

603
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 3: We were promised at the start when we joined that

604
00:26:53,321 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 3: because they were doing a UK tour. He's like, you

605
00:26:55,441 --> 00:26:56,921
Speaker 3: can go through. We'll put you boys in the UK

606
00:26:57,001 --> 00:26:59,880
Speaker 3: tour and I were like, amazing because we had the

607
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:00,721
Speaker 3: fan base over there.

608
00:27:01,201 --> 00:27:02,521
Speaker 1: I basically said to him.

609
00:27:02,681 --> 00:27:04,121
Speaker 3: They were like, we can't get inside the m twenty

610
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 3: five because of Magic and I'm like, dude, I literally

611
00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:09,881
Speaker 3: know the manager of the Grand, which is where they

612
00:27:09,921 --> 00:27:12,761
Speaker 3: feel Magic Mike three. I can get you in there,

613
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 3: which is obviously kicking the teeth to Magic Mike. So

614
00:27:16,201 --> 00:27:18,121
Speaker 3: I was like, I can give you the contact.

615
00:27:18,241 --> 00:27:19,281
Speaker 1: Anyway. They got the.

616
00:27:19,281 --> 00:27:21,121
Speaker 3: Contact, they got it. I had their final show at

617
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:25,761
Speaker 3: the Grand. They didn't put me on the tour. They

618
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 3: didn't put me on the tour, and he gave me

619
00:27:28,281 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 3: so many excuses behind it, and I was just from

620
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,920
Speaker 3: that moment, man, I was like, you know what, no,

621
00:27:34,561 --> 00:27:35,761
Speaker 3: just I can't. I don't.

622
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:37,281
Speaker 1: I just know.

623
00:27:37,521 --> 00:27:40,120
Speaker 3: The thing was, man, It's like, look, there are guys

624
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,441
Speaker 3: that can dance, and I'm a performer.

625
00:27:41,481 --> 00:27:42,281
Speaker 1: I'm an entertainer.

626
00:27:43,001 --> 00:27:44,801
Speaker 3: What I made don't what I don't do in dancing,

627
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,921
Speaker 3: I make up for a stage presence and everything else,

628
00:27:46,921 --> 00:27:48,761
Speaker 3: and funny enough matter. Most of the shows, I was

629
00:27:48,761 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 3: the one that had a lot of the attention because

630
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 3: I was the one that was ground hugging and doing

631
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,761
Speaker 3: everything and caught me getting involved. From that, I wasn't

632
00:27:54,761 --> 00:27:56,640
Speaker 3: feeling valid, so I'm like, I'm done, I'm out. I

633
00:27:56,721 --> 00:27:59,761
Speaker 3: need to do something different. My best friend wasn't liking

634
00:27:59,801 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 3: with me at the time. He was with me, but

635
00:28:01,521 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 3: he was spending more time away, and I remember sitting

636
00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:05,561
Speaker 3: in the house just thinking, I've had a falling out

637
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 3: my family or my parents. We're good now, who are

638
00:28:08,001 --> 00:28:09,441
Speaker 3: very good now, but I had a falling out with them,

639
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:12,041
Speaker 3: and I was just like, I don't like any fans.

640
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 3: Nothing is working. What the fuck is going on my life?

641
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 3: I'm thirty four years old. I'm like, where am I

642
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,641
Speaker 3: going with my life? My dog came into my life,

643
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,281
Speaker 3: so he was a rescue, a friend. I looked after

644
00:28:22,321 --> 00:28:24,441
Speaker 3: him for a bit, so he came into my life

645
00:28:24,441 --> 00:28:27,681
Speaker 3: and he saved my life. Once I had something, Yes

646
00:28:27,721 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 3: it's external, but I had something that gave nothing but

647
00:28:31,801 --> 00:28:35,761
Speaker 3: pure unconditional love that gave me love in a moment

648
00:28:35,761 --> 00:28:37,400
Speaker 3: that I needed at most. And from that I was

649
00:28:37,441 --> 00:28:39,561
Speaker 3: able to put my attention into him, which then switched

650
00:28:39,601 --> 00:28:43,561
Speaker 3: me doing back into personal development, listening to podcast audio books.

651
00:28:43,561 --> 00:28:46,921
Speaker 1: I had my routine. I was back doing breath work, stretching,

652
00:28:47,041 --> 00:28:47,681
Speaker 1: doing everything.

653
00:28:47,681 --> 00:28:49,361
Speaker 3: I was trying to learn to do handstands, I was

654
00:28:49,441 --> 00:28:52,881
Speaker 3: learning guitar, I was learning Spanish, like I wanted to

655
00:28:52,921 --> 00:28:55,321
Speaker 3: start doing things to start improving my mind and improve

656
00:28:55,361 --> 00:28:58,241
Speaker 3: my mental health. And then what happened from there was

657
00:28:58,321 --> 00:29:01,161
Speaker 3: I did a breath work session and the breath work

658
00:29:01,201 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 3: session was a download, which, like its clear as day

659
00:29:03,521 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 3: man zed needed to be a breathwork facilitator. So I

660
00:29:07,241 --> 00:29:09,561
Speaker 3: reached out to two people. I reached out to the

661
00:29:09,561 --> 00:29:11,961
Speaker 3: guy that I work with now doing retreats here in

662
00:29:12,081 --> 00:29:14,841
Speaker 3: Dubai we do all around the world, and another guy

663
00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:17,481
Speaker 3: I invited me over to Perth and said, look, this

664
00:29:17,521 --> 00:29:20,161
Speaker 3: is going to be perfect for you. We've got a videographer.

665
00:29:20,281 --> 00:29:21,921
Speaker 3: You don't need to do social media because I come

666
00:29:21,921 --> 00:29:25,561
Speaker 3: away from social media. You don't need to worry. We'll

667
00:29:25,641 --> 00:29:28,521
Speaker 3: qualify you as a breathwork facilitator. You can come here

668
00:29:28,561 --> 00:29:30,001
Speaker 3: and do what you need to do and just kind

669
00:29:30,041 --> 00:29:35,081
Speaker 3: of restart your life. I'm like banging done. So I

670
00:29:35,201 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 3: uped and left and went to Perth. I sold everything

671
00:29:37,961 --> 00:29:40,681
Speaker 3: I could, moved stuff back to my parents, sold my

672
00:29:40,721 --> 00:29:43,721
Speaker 3: car and went. I got over there. I was living

673
00:29:43,761 --> 00:29:45,841
Speaker 3: rent free. We were in this beautiful villa. I was

674
00:29:45,881 --> 00:29:48,881
Speaker 3: creating these guys, helping them build what they were building,

675
00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:51,881
Speaker 3: which was saudas some ice bars that were building a

676
00:29:51,921 --> 00:29:55,401
Speaker 3: retreat space. But the retreat space never came to fruition.

677
00:29:55,761 --> 00:29:57,681
Speaker 3: There were so much promises of things that were happening

678
00:29:57,761 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 3: that weren't happening. But at the same time, I was

679
00:30:00,521 --> 00:30:04,201
Speaker 3: able to be connected with the spiritual community over there

680
00:30:04,281 --> 00:30:07,321
Speaker 3: to start getting with sound healings, to start diving deeper

681
00:30:07,321 --> 00:30:08,881
Speaker 3: into my own journey, which was needed.

682
00:30:09,681 --> 00:30:11,521
Speaker 1: From that, I flew my dog over.

683
00:30:11,841 --> 00:30:15,161
Speaker 3: I realized that I had to start looking after myself

684
00:30:15,201 --> 00:30:18,241
Speaker 3: because I said something was off, so I had to

685
00:30:18,281 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 3: start doing something for myself. So what I did was,

686
00:30:22,361 --> 00:30:24,721
Speaker 3: just before were meant to go to Thailand to look

687
00:30:24,721 --> 00:30:27,601
Speaker 3: for retreat spaces, I did another breath work and I

688
00:30:27,601 --> 00:30:30,161
Speaker 3: had this other download which said it's time for you

689
00:30:30,201 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 3: to get back onto social media. The only condition is

690
00:30:34,001 --> 00:30:37,881
Speaker 3: you aren't posting for lights. You're posting to share your story.

691
00:30:38,321 --> 00:30:40,561
Speaker 3: You've been on such a journey over the past years.

692
00:30:40,961 --> 00:30:43,881
Speaker 3: You're sharing what feels authentic to you while sharing your

693
00:30:43,881 --> 00:30:46,761
Speaker 3: story and complete putability so people can resonate what you're doing.

694
00:30:47,641 --> 00:30:50,441
Speaker 3: So what I did was I spoke to my friend

695
00:30:50,481 --> 00:30:52,001
Speaker 3: that I was living with in Brisbane and what we'd

696
00:30:52,001 --> 00:30:54,001
Speaker 3: actually done back when I was there was we'd started

697
00:30:54,001 --> 00:30:55,401
Speaker 3: a podcast called got Swollen.

698
00:30:55,881 --> 00:30:58,321
Speaker 1: The podcast We've Got Swolled was.

699
00:30:58,321 --> 00:31:00,121
Speaker 3: Me and him were doing only fans together, doing duo

700
00:31:00,201 --> 00:31:03,801
Speaker 3: tag teams, and we're also stripping together. We said it

701
00:31:03,801 --> 00:31:06,001
Speaker 3: to each other, it's like, well, let's start a podcast

702
00:31:06,361 --> 00:31:09,321
Speaker 3: because there's so much more to us than me and strippers, Like,

703
00:31:09,361 --> 00:31:11,161
Speaker 3: there's a lot of depth to us, and so far

704
00:31:11,281 --> 00:31:13,521
Speaker 3: everyone just sees this as the good looking guys coming

705
00:31:13,521 --> 00:31:15,441
Speaker 3: in tattoos at a jack that just take their kid off.

706
00:31:15,761 --> 00:31:17,761
Speaker 3: Let's show you there's a different vulnerability to it. So

707
00:31:17,801 --> 00:31:20,321
Speaker 3: we started a podcast called got Swallowed, and we started

708
00:31:20,321 --> 00:31:22,241
Speaker 3: building an Instagram page and things like that, and we

709
00:31:22,321 --> 00:31:24,081
Speaker 3: got to talk about three thousand people and then we

710
00:31:24,121 --> 00:31:28,201
Speaker 3: both stopped. I then when I had this download, saying

711
00:31:28,241 --> 00:31:30,321
Speaker 3: let's start back up again. I said to him, I'm like, dude,

712
00:31:30,321 --> 00:31:32,481
Speaker 3: do you mind if I take over that page? People

713
00:31:32,481 --> 00:31:35,321
Speaker 3: are resonating with us there for personal development instead of

714
00:31:35,361 --> 00:31:37,081
Speaker 3: me starting again, let me just use this And he

715
00:31:37,121 --> 00:31:39,081
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, cool, dude, do a thing. So that's

716
00:31:39,081 --> 00:31:43,721
Speaker 3: how I restarted consciously ash and everything I started filming

717
00:31:43,921 --> 00:31:49,521
Speaker 3: was stretching fitness, mobility, mindset, all around personal development and

718
00:31:49,601 --> 00:31:51,801
Speaker 3: sharing the things that I've been doing. And I remember

719
00:31:51,801 --> 00:31:54,521
Speaker 3: when we were in Thailand, like I'd stopped smoking weed

720
00:31:54,601 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 3: for about six months, and when we got to Thailand

721
00:31:57,521 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 3: and I started up again. This time I had a

722
00:31:59,481 --> 00:32:02,801
Speaker 3: better relationship with a much better relationship with him. Plus

723
00:32:02,841 --> 00:32:05,841
Speaker 3: I found it made me creative, especially in this sort

724
00:32:05,881 --> 00:32:07,801
Speaker 3: of space. So I was able to become creative working

725
00:32:07,841 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 3: with working the smoking wheed. I'd seen this video and

726
00:32:11,321 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 3: from his video that I'd seen, i'd come home one night,

727
00:32:13,841 --> 00:32:15,561
Speaker 3: I'd opened Instagram and I'd see this video of a

728
00:32:15,561 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 3: guy called Kevin and basically he was sitting on the

729
00:32:17,961 --> 00:32:20,641
Speaker 3: plane and he had he had hair, video like this.

730
00:32:20,961 --> 00:32:22,921
Speaker 3: He went like this, and then he had no hair

731
00:32:22,961 --> 00:32:26,001
Speaker 3: and no eyebrows, and I was like, the fuck just happened?

732
00:32:26,801 --> 00:32:29,601
Speaker 3: So I dove into his page, and that's where I

733
00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:32,481
Speaker 3: found he'd gone and lived in a monastery called Eye Monastery,

734
00:32:33,041 --> 00:32:36,561
Speaker 3: and basically it's a thirty day retreat where you can

735
00:32:36,601 --> 00:32:38,881
Speaker 3: go live as a monk for thirty days experience the

736
00:32:38,881 --> 00:32:42,161
Speaker 3: life of a monk. So I was like, this is perfect,

737
00:32:42,241 --> 00:32:44,761
Speaker 3: this is I've always wanted to do this, but I've

738
00:32:44,761 --> 00:32:47,121
Speaker 3: never known how. I'm in a space where this is

739
00:32:47,161 --> 00:32:49,081
Speaker 3: the moment I can really dive into who I am,

740
00:32:49,281 --> 00:32:53,121
Speaker 3: remove social media everything from my life, and literally go

741
00:32:53,241 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 3: quiet for thirty days.

742
00:32:55,001 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 1: And I'm like, let's apply, Let's see what happens.

743
00:32:57,881 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 3: So I applied, I got accepted, and I was like,

744
00:33:01,081 --> 00:33:03,841
Speaker 3: this is incredible, because look, Buddhism is dying out. Thairrivita,

745
00:33:03,841 --> 00:33:06,361
Speaker 3: Buddhism is dying out nowhere near as many as what

746
00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:09,681
Speaker 3: they used to be. And from my understanding, it's because

747
00:33:10,441 --> 00:33:13,881
Speaker 3: in Thailand it's still a very big honor for your children,

748
00:33:13,881 --> 00:33:15,841
Speaker 3: for the men in the family to go with Buddhist months.

749
00:33:16,201 --> 00:33:16,841
Speaker 1: But a lot of.

750
00:33:16,761 --> 00:33:20,041
Speaker 3: People don't stay past a year or two years because

751
00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:22,641
Speaker 3: it's again the rules haven't shifted until and a half

752
00:33:22,681 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 3: thousand years, Like you still can't listen to music, watch movies,

753
00:33:26,081 --> 00:33:29,561
Speaker 3: Swinger arms in public, seeing dance, touch a woman, all

754
00:33:29,561 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 3: these sorts of things you can't do that, And for me,

755
00:33:32,001 --> 00:33:33,601
Speaker 3: like I don't want to be father. So I was like,

756
00:33:34,001 --> 00:33:36,521
Speaker 3: thirty days is enough, we can do this. Okay. So

757
00:33:37,561 --> 00:33:39,361
Speaker 3: we're gone back to Perth and this is where everything

758
00:33:39,401 --> 00:33:43,161
Speaker 3: slowly started really coming undone. I started seeing everything start

759
00:33:43,241 --> 00:33:46,481
Speaker 3: going completely wrong. We had the people that were telling

760
00:33:46,561 --> 00:33:49,001
Speaker 3: us that things were happening that were never happening. We

761
00:33:49,121 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 3: had promises of a shop launching which never launched. Just

762
00:33:53,521 --> 00:33:56,921
Speaker 3: everything started going wrong and not feeling right. So basically

763
00:33:57,081 --> 00:34:01,961
Speaker 3: in August last year, I'd gone to Bali to work

764
00:34:02,001 --> 00:34:04,281
Speaker 3: on a retreat, which is the people I work with now,

765
00:34:05,081 --> 00:34:07,401
Speaker 3: and we did with retreating Valley, and straight from there

766
00:34:07,441 --> 00:34:09,241
Speaker 3: as I went to Thailand and I lived at the

767
00:34:09,241 --> 00:34:12,921
Speaker 3: monastery for a month. Now that time at the monastery

768
00:34:13,001 --> 00:34:15,241
Speaker 3: is I had the option to stay longer, but for

769
00:34:15,321 --> 00:34:18,721
Speaker 3: me it was my calling. I had my awakening in

770
00:34:18,801 --> 00:34:22,761
Speaker 3: the second week. So the awakening, you call it the awakening.

771
00:34:22,841 --> 00:34:27,361
Speaker 3: There's also in Buddhism they say it's like when you

772
00:34:27,401 --> 00:34:30,281
Speaker 3: reached the first level of enlightenment with Dammagaya, which is

773
00:34:30,761 --> 00:34:33,681
Speaker 3: their thirteen stages. What happens is you get the rush

774
00:34:33,721 --> 00:34:37,161
Speaker 3: of a Buddha and basically, like I can't visualize, but

775
00:34:37,201 --> 00:34:39,721
Speaker 3: I remember sitting down and as I was sitting down,

776
00:34:39,761 --> 00:34:41,241
Speaker 3: I had this Buddha, a blue.

777
00:34:41,041 --> 00:34:43,081
Speaker 1: Or white like vision of a budder just go like

778
00:34:43,121 --> 00:34:43,841
Speaker 1: that my face.

779
00:34:44,841 --> 00:34:48,081
Speaker 3: And I remember thinking that didn't just happen, That's not it,

780
00:34:49,321 --> 00:34:52,681
Speaker 3: that's not it. But then what happened was I had

781
00:34:52,761 --> 00:34:56,481
Speaker 3: the rush of emotion come straight up. I felt the

782
00:34:56,481 --> 00:34:58,881
Speaker 3: love of the universe. I felt the love of everything

783
00:34:58,921 --> 00:35:01,281
Speaker 3: around me. I felt warm and fuzzy. I was in

784
00:35:01,361 --> 00:35:05,281
Speaker 3: tears with joy, pure joy happenings. Everything just came up.

785
00:35:05,881 --> 00:35:09,241
Speaker 3: And then in my meditation, I could part the clouds

786
00:35:09,601 --> 00:35:11,641
Speaker 3: and see a starry sky like one of the most

787
00:35:11,681 --> 00:35:14,041
Speaker 3: stariust skies you've ever seen, but I attached to it.

788
00:35:14,081 --> 00:35:16,001
Speaker 3: Then it would close, but I was able to keep

789
00:35:16,041 --> 00:35:19,721
Speaker 3: opening and closing, opening and closing. So I had that experience.

790
00:35:20,241 --> 00:35:22,361
Speaker 3: I think it was later that night. I was there

791
00:35:22,401 --> 00:35:24,881
Speaker 3: meditating and it felt like someone basically stepped in front

792
00:35:24,881 --> 00:35:26,801
Speaker 3: of me with a torch. I was shining it right

793
00:35:26,801 --> 00:35:29,521
Speaker 3: in my face, and again I had those feelings come

794
00:35:29,641 --> 00:35:32,521
Speaker 3: rushing up and I was almost like on the other

795
00:35:32,561 --> 00:35:34,841
Speaker 3: side of this white wall. I could feel goodden, I

796
00:35:34,841 --> 00:35:36,561
Speaker 3: could feel like he was there and I was trying

797
00:35:36,561 --> 00:35:39,041
Speaker 3: to get through it. I remember feeling like that, but

798
00:35:39,121 --> 00:35:41,361
Speaker 3: it wasn't happening. I couldn't get through, and then it

799
00:35:41,401 --> 00:35:44,521
Speaker 3: pulled me out. So this was the start of me

800
00:35:44,601 --> 00:35:50,881
Speaker 3: promptly learning about non attachment. So it's like with any experience,

801
00:35:50,921 --> 00:35:54,281
Speaker 3: with breathwork, meditation, any plant medicine, anything like that, you

802
00:35:54,321 --> 00:35:56,721
Speaker 3: can't have an expectation of the outcome or the result

803
00:35:57,001 --> 00:35:59,521
Speaker 3: because if you do, you never have the same experience,

804
00:35:59,761 --> 00:36:01,721
Speaker 3: and if you attached to an experience, you never get there.

805
00:36:02,281 --> 00:36:04,841
Speaker 3: So this was me learning that over the coming weeks

806
00:36:05,041 --> 00:36:08,401
Speaker 3: and three more experiences. One was, as I said, I

807
00:36:08,401 --> 00:36:11,521
Speaker 3: can't visualize, so I have aphanatia. I had this picture

808
00:36:11,721 --> 00:36:13,801
Speaker 3: clear as I see you, where it was a baby

809
00:36:13,841 --> 00:36:16,361
Speaker 3: here and a dark haired woman here. A few days later,

810
00:36:16,401 --> 00:36:18,641
Speaker 3: I had another vision where it's me feeding a baby

811
00:36:18,641 --> 00:36:20,561
Speaker 3: and a dark haired woman coming around the corner. And

812
00:36:20,641 --> 00:36:22,561
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, what's going on? Why am I

813
00:36:22,641 --> 00:36:25,161
Speaker 3: able to see this? I asked the monks and I

814
00:36:25,241 --> 00:36:26,841
Speaker 3: was like, is this a real experience?

815
00:36:26,881 --> 00:36:27,321
Speaker 1: This vision?

816
00:36:27,321 --> 00:36:29,641
Speaker 3: And they're like, there are two ways to tell. Is

817
00:36:29,681 --> 00:36:32,401
Speaker 3: there's zero doubt and did it feel one hundred percent real?

818
00:36:32,521 --> 00:36:33,921
Speaker 3: And I was like, yes, he goes well, that's a

819
00:36:33,961 --> 00:36:37,440
Speaker 3: true experience. So then a few days later, going into

820
00:36:37,441 --> 00:36:40,681
Speaker 3: the fourth week, what it happened is I got another

821
00:36:40,721 --> 00:36:44,121
Speaker 3: download and that download said you need to move to Dubai.

822
00:36:44,801 --> 00:36:47,121
Speaker 1: The buy is a safe city. Dubai is a.

823
00:36:47,081 --> 00:36:50,761
Speaker 3: Place where there is so much going on energetically that

824
00:36:50,841 --> 00:36:55,121
Speaker 3: it needs people that are grounded, that are integral, that

825
00:36:55,241 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 3: can help the shift that's happening in the world because

826
00:36:58,441 --> 00:37:00,121
Speaker 3: a lot of people are coming to Dubai at the moment,

827
00:37:00,401 --> 00:37:03,641
Speaker 3: and the world has a really distorted picture of Dubai.

828
00:37:03,961 --> 00:37:07,561
Speaker 3: They see the bay as this social media thing of cars, money,

829
00:37:07,561 --> 00:37:10,801
Speaker 3: and women. But there's a deeper spiritual side to Dubai

830
00:37:11,121 --> 00:37:12,521
Speaker 3: that does it that people don't know about.

831
00:37:13,201 --> 00:37:16,761
Speaker 1: So I was like, cool, what do I do with that?

832
00:37:17,761 --> 00:37:19,841
Speaker 3: So I kind of sat with it for a bit,

833
00:37:19,961 --> 00:37:22,001
Speaker 3: journal about it and thought, Okay, I've been told to

834
00:37:22,001 --> 00:37:22,521
Speaker 3: go to Dubai.

835
00:37:22,561 --> 00:37:25,241
Speaker 1: How do I follow this. I've got my dog, I'm

836
00:37:25,281 --> 00:37:27,361
Speaker 1: living in Perth. I can't.

837
00:37:27,401 --> 00:37:29,241
Speaker 3: I was also seeing a girl at the time and

838
00:37:29,281 --> 00:37:30,681
Speaker 3: I'm like, but I can't just up and leave and

839
00:37:30,721 --> 00:37:34,281
Speaker 3: go there. Anyway, I got out of the monastery and

840
00:37:34,321 --> 00:37:36,521
Speaker 3: two days later, I don't think it was even two

841
00:37:36,601 --> 00:37:37,081
Speaker 3: days later.

842
00:37:37,481 --> 00:37:39,001
Speaker 1: So you were seeing a girl while you were in

843
00:37:39,041 --> 00:37:42,161
Speaker 1: the monastery. Yeah, yeah, So basically I was in the

844
00:37:42,161 --> 00:37:42,921
Speaker 1: monastery for a month.

845
00:37:43,641 --> 00:37:46,321
Speaker 3: Okay, there was only there for a month, So I

846
00:37:46,841 --> 00:37:49,121
Speaker 3: was seeing this girl from during the entire time at

847
00:37:49,121 --> 00:37:52,121
Speaker 3: the monastery. And basically what had happened was when I

848
00:37:52,121 --> 00:37:54,561
Speaker 3: came out of the monastery two days later, I had

849
00:37:54,601 --> 00:37:56,201
Speaker 3: a phone call saying you have to be out of

850
00:37:56,201 --> 00:37:57,241
Speaker 3: your house within two weeks.

851
00:37:57,441 --> 00:37:58,041
Speaker 1: Back in Perth.

852
00:37:58,481 --> 00:38:00,681
Speaker 3: Basically, the guy who were in the house and basically

853
00:38:00,881 --> 00:38:02,841
Speaker 3: got me and some of the boys to sign a

854
00:38:02,881 --> 00:38:05,881
Speaker 3: document saying it was for one thing and then basically

855
00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:09,161
Speaker 3: forudulently use the signatures and then put it in a

856
00:38:09,761 --> 00:38:11,641
Speaker 3: load of other people to basically stop them coming up.

857
00:38:11,601 --> 00:38:12,121
Speaker 1: In for money.

858
00:38:12,841 --> 00:38:14,841
Speaker 3: So he had all these court cases against him. So

859
00:38:14,921 --> 00:38:17,161
Speaker 3: basically I was told how to be out of the house.

860
00:38:17,641 --> 00:38:19,601
Speaker 3: So I was like, well, there's my sign. The universe

861
00:38:19,641 --> 00:38:21,841
Speaker 3: has literally taking my accommodation away from me and told

862
00:38:21,881 --> 00:38:22,481
Speaker 3: me go to Dubai.

863
00:38:22,921 --> 00:38:24,481
Speaker 1: So that's what I did.

864
00:38:24,521 --> 00:38:26,601
Speaker 3: I was literally within two weeks I was here in Dubai,

865
00:38:26,641 --> 00:38:29,401
Speaker 3: I was staying with a friend. He was looking after

866
00:38:29,441 --> 00:38:31,001
Speaker 3: me for a few weeks, and then I ended up

867
00:38:31,041 --> 00:38:32,561
Speaker 3: moving in with the guy that I live with now.

868
00:38:33,081 --> 00:38:36,961
Speaker 3: And one of the most beautiful things is since I've

869
00:38:37,001 --> 00:38:40,081
Speaker 3: been here, I've been living in surrender. And when I

870
00:38:40,121 --> 00:38:42,881
Speaker 3: say living in surrender, I'm controlling what I can control

871
00:38:43,041 --> 00:38:44,881
Speaker 3: and what I can't control is I'm just surrendering to

872
00:38:44,881 --> 00:38:46,681
Speaker 3: the universe and going it is what it.

873
00:38:46,601 --> 00:38:50,521
Speaker 1: Is, It it bears at be. But what's happened is its been.

874
00:38:50,641 --> 00:38:54,601
Speaker 3: Everything has moved so quickly from doing that because I'm

875
00:38:54,601 --> 00:38:55,601
Speaker 3: not living in resistance.

876
00:38:56,201 --> 00:38:57,841
Speaker 1: I've gone being. It's this November.

877
00:38:57,881 --> 00:39:01,201
Speaker 3: I now run some of the biggest best breath works here,

878
00:39:01,241 --> 00:39:04,521
Speaker 3: which is a floating breathwork in or a skypool in

879
00:39:04,521 --> 00:39:08,041
Speaker 3: the middle of the palm, big building sky call that over. Yeah,

880
00:39:08,201 --> 00:39:12,041
Speaker 3: so we run a closing breathwork. I run one at

881
00:39:12,081 --> 00:39:13,841
Speaker 3: five on the palm. We've got a few others that

882
00:39:14,321 --> 00:39:16,601
Speaker 3: we're in the talks of running at the moment. I

883
00:39:16,681 --> 00:39:19,281
Speaker 3: run an ice bath and breathwork every Saturday morning. I've

884
00:39:19,321 --> 00:39:22,041
Speaker 3: got coaching clients that I coach through removing limiting beliefs

885
00:39:22,441 --> 00:39:25,321
Speaker 3: and remembering who they are. We've got retreats that we

886
00:39:25,401 --> 00:39:29,841
Speaker 3: do in Zanzibar, Thailand and Bali. There is I've been

887
00:39:30,121 --> 00:39:33,361
Speaker 3: working at festivals, running breathworks and ice baths. I've got

888
00:39:33,641 --> 00:39:35,761
Speaker 3: a few events in the planning. There are so many

889
00:39:35,801 --> 00:39:38,041
Speaker 3: things happening, and all of this has come because I've

890
00:39:38,041 --> 00:39:40,921
Speaker 3: surrendered to what the universe is, what it's showing me,

891
00:39:41,681 --> 00:39:45,521
Speaker 3: and it's been one of the most beautiful experiences of

892
00:39:45,961 --> 00:39:49,361
Speaker 3: learning to not attach to an outcome, but also in

893
00:39:49,401 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 3: the same time, learning about myself, learning about this whole

894
00:39:53,081 --> 00:39:55,801
Speaker 3: journey of everything that has been a trigger, everything that

895
00:39:55,881 --> 00:39:57,441
Speaker 3: has been something that I've needed to go through and

896
00:39:57,521 --> 00:40:01,321
Speaker 3: work through my shadows. And the thing is, I remember

897
00:40:01,321 --> 00:40:02,841
Speaker 3: my ex wife used to say to me, she goes,

898
00:40:03,001 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 3: you do so much breath work, why you can't, And

899
00:40:06,081 --> 00:40:08,841
Speaker 3: I was like, you look at like I do. I've

900
00:40:08,881 --> 00:40:11,041
Speaker 3: had the past couple of days have been very heavy.

901
00:40:11,041 --> 00:40:13,041
Speaker 3: There's a lot happening at the moment behind the scenes,

902
00:40:13,481 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 3: and there are moments that have been incredibly triggering. And

903
00:40:18,161 --> 00:40:19,841
Speaker 3: instead of being the person that I used to be

904
00:40:19,921 --> 00:40:22,361
Speaker 3: that would react as I've taken time and I responded.

905
00:40:22,401 --> 00:40:24,841
Speaker 3: I've addressed what I'm feeling and understood what they are

906
00:40:25,361 --> 00:40:28,241
Speaker 3: and then acted accordingly to that. At the end of

907
00:40:28,241 --> 00:40:30,881
Speaker 3: the day, we don't get just because you've done the

908
00:40:30,921 --> 00:40:33,081
Speaker 3: work with yourself doesn't mean you're still on a trigger,

909
00:40:33,321 --> 00:40:35,641
Speaker 3: doesn't mean you still don't get frustrated or upset and

910
00:40:35,681 --> 00:40:37,761
Speaker 3: these sorts of things. What it means is you know

911
00:40:37,761 --> 00:40:39,761
Speaker 3: how to address it easier. It means you know how

912
00:40:39,801 --> 00:40:41,881
Speaker 3: when it does arise, you know how to handle the situation.

913
00:40:42,161 --> 00:40:43,641
Speaker 3: But a lot of people think it's like, oh, if

914
00:40:43,641 --> 00:40:44,921
Speaker 3: you do the work, then you've done you never get

915
00:40:44,961 --> 00:40:45,361
Speaker 3: angry again.

916
00:40:45,401 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 1: That's not the case.

917
00:40:46,681 --> 00:40:50,241
Speaker 3: So it's been a whole beautiful journey that's brought me

918
00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:52,201
Speaker 3: to exactly where I am now. Where Look, I don't

919
00:40:52,201 --> 00:40:55,521
Speaker 3: regret a single thing in my life because every single

920
00:40:55,521 --> 00:40:57,440
Speaker 3: thing has brought me to exactly where I am now,

921
00:40:57,681 --> 00:41:00,161
Speaker 3: and every experience is putting me in the position of

922
00:41:00,201 --> 00:41:02,761
Speaker 3: where I'm going to be. Like, I want to be

923
00:41:02,801 --> 00:41:05,441
Speaker 3: speaking on stages around the world, transforming life power of

924
00:41:05,441 --> 00:41:07,681
Speaker 3: words of breath. I want to be making an impact

925
00:41:07,681 --> 00:41:09,881
Speaker 3: where my social media has been doing that. I received

926
00:41:09,921 --> 00:41:13,081
Speaker 3: messages daily about thank you. I needed this, thank you

927
00:41:13,121 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 3: so much. I couldn't have done this without watching your video.

928
00:41:15,481 --> 00:41:18,521
Speaker 3: It's like I'm and everything that I post, I have

929
00:41:18,681 --> 00:41:22,001
Speaker 3: no structure. Everything I post is something that comes to

930
00:41:22,041 --> 00:41:24,721
Speaker 3: me and goes, okay, post this, so I post it

931
00:41:24,761 --> 00:41:28,281
Speaker 3: and it's resonating. And the thing is, everything I've been

932
00:41:28,321 --> 00:41:31,161
Speaker 3: through has got me to this stage, and I wouldn't

933
00:41:31,481 --> 00:41:34,561
Speaker 3: be here without any of that, and I'm so grateful

934
00:41:34,881 --> 00:41:37,361
Speaker 3: I am in the position now where, like everything I

935
00:41:37,401 --> 00:41:40,241
Speaker 3: learned through my previous marriage, I hope that my next

936
00:41:40,601 --> 00:41:42,921
Speaker 3: relationship is the person that I can have a family with.

937
00:41:43,841 --> 00:41:46,081
Speaker 3: I hope I have that person. But if I don't

938
00:41:46,081 --> 00:41:48,121
Speaker 3: have that person, then the next person someone that I

939
00:41:48,201 --> 00:41:50,281
Speaker 3: learn and grow from and move forward. I never would

940
00:41:50,321 --> 00:41:53,401
Speaker 3: have had this look on life, but I've learned non attachment.

941
00:41:53,441 --> 00:41:55,721
Speaker 3: I've learned that attachment is suffering through Buddhism, and it's

942
00:41:55,721 --> 00:41:58,681
Speaker 3: allowed me to have this different outlook on life, which

943
00:41:58,681 --> 00:42:00,761
Speaker 3: has allowing me to live in this surrendered state of

944
00:42:00,961 --> 00:42:01,681
Speaker 3: where I am now.

945
00:42:03,081 --> 00:42:04,881
Speaker 1: You don't miss it at all, what you're of a

946
00:42:04,921 --> 00:42:05,801
Speaker 1: life at all?

947
00:42:06,961 --> 00:42:10,921
Speaker 3: No, Like my favorite memory is the I think it's

948
00:42:10,961 --> 00:42:12,521
Speaker 3: a waterfront theater in Belfast.

949
00:42:12,961 --> 00:42:15,761
Speaker 1: I will never forget this. There was twelve hundred people there.

950
00:42:15,801 --> 00:42:17,561
Speaker 3: I walked on stage and I remember I looked up

951
00:42:17,561 --> 00:42:19,601
Speaker 3: and it was black and I'm standing there in naval

952
00:42:19,641 --> 00:42:23,481
Speaker 3: officers outfit. I come to attention, turn, come to attention,

953
00:42:24,081 --> 00:42:25,921
Speaker 3: lift my head up. As I lift my head up,

954
00:42:26,481 --> 00:42:28,441
Speaker 3: all I see is a light come on. As a

955
00:42:28,521 --> 00:42:31,281
Speaker 3: light comes on, there's twelve hundred people dead quiet, and

956
00:42:31,321 --> 00:42:36,001
Speaker 3: I just go ha so loud, but then everyone goes wow.

957
00:42:37,681 --> 00:42:41,481
Speaker 3: I will never forget that. Like I used to party

958
00:42:41,921 --> 00:42:44,001
Speaker 3: so hard with the boys, and I had so many

959
00:42:44,041 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 3: sessions with him where it was like it was just fun,

960
00:42:46,681 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 3: just talking, just up talking or not partying and having

961
00:42:49,441 --> 00:42:52,441
Speaker 3: fun doing silly shit. I will never forget that. But

962
00:42:53,201 --> 00:42:55,081
Speaker 3: it was a part of my life. That doesn't serve

963
00:42:55,081 --> 00:42:57,601
Speaker 3: you anymore. Let's serve the purpose that it was meant

964
00:42:57,601 --> 00:42:58,721
Speaker 3: to for that point in time.

965
00:42:59,241 --> 00:43:01,201
Speaker 2: But what about when you were you know, you went

966
00:43:01,201 --> 00:43:03,681
Speaker 2: in the monastery for a month, like that would have

967
00:43:03,721 --> 00:43:06,641
Speaker 2: been a big life change for you having that lifestyle

968
00:43:06,681 --> 00:43:08,041
Speaker 2: and then doing that for a month.

969
00:43:08,441 --> 00:43:11,201
Speaker 1: What was an average day of being a monk?

970
00:43:12,001 --> 00:43:15,481
Speaker 3: So you'd wake up at four thirty, you do morning

971
00:43:15,561 --> 00:43:18,281
Speaker 3: chanting at five thirty five point thirty till six thirty

972
00:43:18,481 --> 00:43:22,881
Speaker 3: was morning meditation. Six thirty till seven or quarter past

973
00:43:22,921 --> 00:43:26,601
Speaker 3: seven was morning chores from morning chores. You'd go into breakfast.

974
00:43:26,681 --> 00:43:29,881
Speaker 3: You then have time off until nine nine am. You'd

975
00:43:29,921 --> 00:43:32,841
Speaker 3: do some like ap probably about forty minutes dama, which

976
00:43:32,921 --> 00:43:34,841
Speaker 3: is the truth, which is almost like the Bible and

977
00:43:34,881 --> 00:43:37,961
Speaker 3: the Koran, like the version in Buddhism. You then do meditation.

978
00:43:38,521 --> 00:43:41,801
Speaker 3: You'd then do lunch at eleven. From that, you'd then

979
00:43:41,881 --> 00:43:44,641
Speaker 3: do you time off until two. You then go through

980
00:43:44,721 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 3: darma classes and meditation again, and then you'd have time

981
00:43:49,001 --> 00:43:52,161
Speaker 3: off until six, and then you'd do evening chanting meditation

982
00:43:52,801 --> 00:43:54,121
Speaker 3: and go to bed for nine o'clock.

983
00:43:54,201 --> 00:43:54,921
Speaker 1: And that was every.

984
00:43:54,841 --> 00:43:57,961
Speaker 2: Day's communication with the outside world.

985
00:43:58,241 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 3: No like okay, so I had because I was doing

986
00:44:00,481 --> 00:44:02,961
Speaker 3: a collaboration with them. They asked me to do some

987
00:44:03,041 --> 00:44:05,001
Speaker 3: social media posts and some collaborations.

988
00:44:05,121 --> 00:44:05,681
Speaker 1: I was like okay.

989
00:44:05,721 --> 00:44:08,361
Speaker 3: At start, I said yes, and I remember I did

990
00:44:08,441 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 3: one post and I was like, I can't. You're giving

991
00:44:12,001 --> 00:44:14,041
Speaker 3: me access to my phone. This is ruining the experience.

992
00:44:14,081 --> 00:44:16,681
Speaker 3: I can't do this. And it was funny enough. After

993
00:44:16,721 --> 00:44:18,441
Speaker 3: I made that decision where I'm like, I can't do this,

994
00:44:19,081 --> 00:44:22,121
Speaker 3: I then had that really deep experience like a day later.

995
00:44:22,401 --> 00:44:24,121
Speaker 3: But the first one where I had the light, the

996
00:44:24,121 --> 00:44:26,401
Speaker 3: bright light because I'd made that conscious decision to make

997
00:44:26,441 --> 00:44:29,361
Speaker 3: sure I was. But dude, I'm grateful because we had

998
00:44:29,401 --> 00:44:31,401
Speaker 3: eight guys with us and doing the thing. We all

999
00:44:31,401 --> 00:44:33,601
Speaker 3: got along very well. We were in the middle of

1000
00:44:33,641 --> 00:44:36,801
Speaker 3: the rainforest in chang Mine. We'd see villages because there

1001
00:44:36,801 --> 00:44:39,121
Speaker 3: were some villages that were around, but most of it

1002
00:44:39,241 --> 00:44:42,521
Speaker 3: was away from everything. Like, look, they want you to follow,

1003
00:44:42,761 --> 00:44:44,801
Speaker 3: you go there, you follow the rules. The good thing

1004
00:44:45,001 --> 00:44:47,801
Speaker 3: that I found with us is because we were we

1005
00:44:47,841 --> 00:44:50,041
Speaker 3: all got along very well. We weren't trying to prove

1006
00:44:50,081 --> 00:44:52,921
Speaker 3: to each other that my way is better at meditating

1007
00:44:52,921 --> 00:44:53,401
Speaker 3: all this or we.

1008
00:44:53,401 --> 00:44:54,401
Speaker 1: All got along very well.

1009
00:44:54,761 --> 00:44:57,601
Speaker 3: The monks were very lenient with us, so like I

1010
00:44:57,721 --> 00:45:01,521
Speaker 3: was still telling Dick jokes, I was still like telling

1011
00:45:01,641 --> 00:45:04,241
Speaker 3: stories about my time stripping because a lot of the

1012
00:45:04,241 --> 00:45:05,961
Speaker 3: boys wanted to know, and we had to share some

1013
00:45:06,001 --> 00:45:09,121
Speaker 3: of these stories. But everyone was there for their own

1014
00:45:09,121 --> 00:45:12,001
Speaker 3: different journey. One guy was there because it was the

1015
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:14,121
Speaker 3: only way that could save his life. He was heavily

1016
00:45:14,121 --> 00:45:16,081
Speaker 3: addicted to drugs. He'd been in and out of rehab

1017
00:45:16,121 --> 00:45:18,041
Speaker 3: for years, and he was like, if I don't do this,

1018
00:45:18,081 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 3: I'm going to kill myself. So he's now been there

1019
00:45:21,001 --> 00:45:23,561
Speaker 3: for almost a year. One of the other guys had

1020
00:45:23,601 --> 00:45:28,721
Speaker 3: been searching for his understanding his own spirituality through Taoism,

1021
00:45:28,841 --> 00:45:33,121
Speaker 3: through Hinduism, through all different religions, and he was there

1022
00:45:33,161 --> 00:45:36,121
Speaker 3: to try to understand that. Now he had some very beautiful,

1023
00:45:36,161 --> 00:45:39,361
Speaker 3: deep experiences as well, and I got to share a

1024
00:45:39,401 --> 00:45:41,561
Speaker 3: few very deep conversations with him through all of this.

1025
00:45:42,241 --> 00:45:44,401
Speaker 3: And look, if I'm honest, he was actually one person

1026
00:45:44,441 --> 00:45:47,801
Speaker 3: who's really inspired me to continue doing what I'm doing, because.

1027
00:45:47,841 --> 00:45:48,961
Speaker 1: He said to me at once.

1028
00:45:49,081 --> 00:45:51,281
Speaker 3: There was one day, so in the first week, we

1029
00:45:51,321 --> 00:45:54,121
Speaker 3: had a breakfast, the monk was reading something and then

1030
00:45:54,281 --> 00:45:56,321
Speaker 3: what he was reading, this guy just broke down on

1031
00:45:56,401 --> 00:45:59,441
Speaker 3: the table and started boiling his eyes out, and everyone

1032
00:45:59,481 --> 00:46:00,641
Speaker 3: was trying to make sure he was okay, and I

1033
00:46:00,721 --> 00:46:02,081
Speaker 3: was just like, let's let him do his thing, let

1034
00:46:02,161 --> 00:46:04,081
Speaker 3: him have this, because you want to take away his

1035
00:46:04,161 --> 00:46:06,841
Speaker 3: pain by trying to a squashing. Afterwards, I went and

1036
00:46:06,841 --> 00:46:08,961
Speaker 3: spoke to him and we kind of we gotten a

1037
00:46:09,001 --> 00:46:10,921
Speaker 3: bit of a deep conversation about the experience he was

1038
00:46:10,921 --> 00:46:12,401
Speaker 3: having and why the reason was here.

1039
00:46:13,041 --> 00:46:13,761
Speaker 1: From that, he.

1040
00:46:13,841 --> 00:46:16,401
Speaker 3: Dove really deep into it, like really really really deep,

1041
00:46:17,281 --> 00:46:19,521
Speaker 3: to the point like there were times, man, you'd literally

1042
00:46:19,521 --> 00:46:21,761
Speaker 3: think that he was floating around the place like he

1043
00:46:21,881 --> 00:46:23,561
Speaker 3: was having some really deep meditations.

1044
00:46:23,601 --> 00:46:26,281
Speaker 1: You thought he was levitating. That's how that's how calm

1045
00:46:26,321 --> 00:46:26,681
Speaker 1: he was.

1046
00:46:26,721 --> 00:46:29,841
Speaker 3: He was so out of what was happening besides what

1047
00:46:29,881 --> 00:46:32,121
Speaker 3: was happening inside it was. It was beautiful to see.

1048
00:46:32,761 --> 00:46:35,521
Speaker 3: But towards the end he ended up saying like, I

1049
00:46:35,561 --> 00:46:37,361
Speaker 3: didn't want to be too serious. I still wanted to

1050
00:46:37,401 --> 00:46:39,241
Speaker 3: be able to joke. So we started joking and opening

1051
00:46:39,321 --> 00:46:41,841
Speaker 3: up a lot more with us. And then within the

1052
00:46:41,881 --> 00:46:44,801
Speaker 3: last week he basically stood up from breakfast one morning

1053
00:46:44,961 --> 00:46:46,441
Speaker 3: and went and sat in the shallow And now the

1054
00:46:46,481 --> 00:46:49,281
Speaker 3: shallow is this beautiful place we could meditate by the river.

1055
00:46:49,841 --> 00:46:52,401
Speaker 3: And I was watching him and he was you can

1056
00:46:52,401 --> 00:46:54,121
Speaker 3: see he's bailing his eyes out, he was crying. He

1057
00:46:54,161 --> 00:46:57,361
Speaker 3: was wiping his tears off on his robes. So after

1058
00:46:57,401 --> 00:46:59,041
Speaker 3: we finished breakfast, I walked over to him and I

1059
00:46:59,081 --> 00:47:01,281
Speaker 3: just sat with him and just listened to what was

1060
00:47:01,321 --> 00:47:01,681
Speaker 3: going on.

1061
00:47:01,761 --> 00:47:04,121
Speaker 1: And he was going through a lot.

1062
00:47:04,481 --> 00:47:07,961
Speaker 3: He was going through a lot there, and basically at

1063
00:47:07,961 --> 00:47:09,721
Speaker 3: the end of it, he was like, you know what, Ash,

1064
00:47:10,161 --> 00:47:12,761
Speaker 3: you are going to change the world. Just promise me

1065
00:47:12,841 --> 00:47:15,481
Speaker 3: you maintain your honesty and you maintain you're intriguity. If

1066
00:47:15,481 --> 00:47:17,881
Speaker 3: you maintain those things, but the person you are and

1067
00:47:18,081 --> 00:47:19,841
Speaker 3: the gift that you have, you're going to change the world.

1068
00:47:20,361 --> 00:47:26,361
Speaker 3: And from that, man, I was just like, Okay, cool, sweet,

1069
00:47:26,521 --> 00:47:30,241
Speaker 3: Now this is a dude, I admired heavily. Like again,

1070
00:47:30,281 --> 00:47:32,641
Speaker 3: he'd been living in ash Rams, he'd been traveling India,

1071
00:47:32,641 --> 00:47:34,481
Speaker 3: he'd been traveling through the bet he'd been traveling through

1072
00:47:34,481 --> 00:47:38,121
Speaker 3: all these countries to understand spirituality. So that meant a

1073
00:47:38,161 --> 00:47:42,241
Speaker 3: lot to him. But again for me, I had the

1074
00:47:42,241 --> 00:47:45,681
Speaker 3: opportunity to stay. But my mission in life is service

1075
00:47:45,721 --> 00:47:50,241
Speaker 3: to others. I can't stay in service to self. I

1076
00:47:50,281 --> 00:47:54,041
Speaker 3: can't stay secluded away from the world when there are

1077
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:57,201
Speaker 3: so many people that need guidance in where they're going

1078
00:47:57,241 --> 00:47:59,001
Speaker 3: with understanding their own life. Because the word the world

1079
00:47:59,041 --> 00:48:01,361
Speaker 3: is awakening right now, the world, the world is awaking.

1080
00:48:01,401 --> 00:48:01,881
Speaker 1: We're seeing it.

1081
00:48:03,001 --> 00:48:04,761
Speaker 2: But you think you're in a comfortable place right now.

1082
00:48:05,561 --> 00:48:08,441
Speaker 2: As you've told your story, you stay somewhere for a

1083
00:48:08,441 --> 00:48:10,081
Speaker 2: couple of years and then you find.

1084
00:48:09,921 --> 00:48:11,481
Speaker 1: Something else and you move on. You move on, you

1085
00:48:11,521 --> 00:48:13,681
Speaker 1: move on. Do you think you're you're in a happy

1086
00:48:13,681 --> 00:48:15,401
Speaker 1: place now? Oh?

1087
00:48:15,481 --> 00:48:19,201
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like whateverthing's going on around me at the moment,

1088
00:48:19,441 --> 00:48:23,241
Speaker 3: that is external. My happy place is withinside me. The

1089
00:48:23,241 --> 00:48:25,921
Speaker 3: happiness comes from within. The good thing now is we

1090
00:48:25,961 --> 00:48:27,761
Speaker 3: live in a day where social media is able to

1091
00:48:27,761 --> 00:48:29,561
Speaker 3: get my message in what I'm sharing to the world,

1092
00:48:30,201 --> 00:48:32,161
Speaker 3: so I could be anywhere in the world and still

1093
00:48:32,201 --> 00:48:33,961
Speaker 3: do exactly what I'm doing and make sure I'm still

1094
00:48:34,001 --> 00:48:36,481
Speaker 3: having the impact that I'm happy. The thing is like Australia.

1095
00:48:36,521 --> 00:48:40,241
Speaker 3: For me, going back to Australia never felt like home.

1096
00:48:40,881 --> 00:48:43,121
Speaker 3: Australia never felt home. It never felt comfortable to me.

1097
00:48:43,721 --> 00:48:45,961
Speaker 3: But if I look at the UK, I spent ten

1098
00:48:46,041 --> 00:48:49,041
Speaker 3: years there. Those ten years I was able to discover

1099
00:48:49,121 --> 00:48:51,401
Speaker 3: who I was and live my adult life. I only

1100
00:48:51,481 --> 00:48:53,321
Speaker 3: left because I was because I got divorced.

1101
00:48:53,361 --> 00:48:53,721
Speaker 1: I had to.

1102
00:48:54,441 --> 00:48:57,001
Speaker 3: But from what I do now, like again, seeing the

1103
00:48:57,041 --> 00:48:59,641
Speaker 3: shift that's happening in the world and how many people

1104
00:48:59,641 --> 00:49:02,721
Speaker 3: are coming here and knowing the spirituality that's here, is

1105
00:49:02,761 --> 00:49:04,561
Speaker 3: I feel I'm in the right place to be doing

1106
00:49:04,601 --> 00:49:07,521
Speaker 3: what I'm doing. And with that everything that's been happening

1107
00:49:07,561 --> 00:49:11,081
Speaker 3: around me, with the path of zero resistance and just

1108
00:49:11,121 --> 00:49:13,561
Speaker 3: following and surrendering to the universe. With everything happening, it's

1109
00:49:13,601 --> 00:49:16,401
Speaker 3: showing me that I'm exactly where I it to be Okay,

1110
00:49:16,601 --> 00:49:17,241
Speaker 3: here's a question.

1111
00:49:17,481 --> 00:49:21,521
Speaker 2: Do you think if you left Dubai tomorrow, went to

1112
00:49:21,561 --> 00:49:25,281
Speaker 2: the UK or come back to Australia, that you would

1113
00:49:25,361 --> 00:49:27,641
Speaker 2: change and go back to your old ways.

1114
00:49:27,961 --> 00:49:30,761
Speaker 3: Nope, not a chance to help, Not a chance because

1115
00:49:30,921 --> 00:49:33,441
Speaker 3: the people that I associated with then are on a

1116
00:49:33,441 --> 00:49:35,841
Speaker 3: different frequency to where I am. I don't resonate with

1117
00:49:35,921 --> 00:49:38,761
Speaker 3: going back and partying. I don't resonate with stripping anymore.

1118
00:49:38,801 --> 00:49:42,441
Speaker 3: I don't resonate with that lifestyle. It's a very toxic lifestyle,

1119
00:49:42,801 --> 00:49:45,841
Speaker 3: a very toxic lifestyle. I removed myself because like, look,

1120
00:49:45,881 --> 00:49:47,561
Speaker 3: the stripping in the UK was one thing. It was

1121
00:49:47,601 --> 00:49:50,761
Speaker 3: amazing on stages in theaters around the UK. In Australia,

1122
00:49:51,081 --> 00:49:54,161
Speaker 3: we were performing fifteen minute routines, getting five people on

1123
00:49:54,241 --> 00:49:56,801
Speaker 3: stage with each routine, and in that you're bringing people

1124
00:49:56,841 --> 00:49:59,121
Speaker 3: into your intimate zone. When you're bringing them into your

1125
00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:01,561
Speaker 3: intimate zone, you're bringing their energies in with you.

1126
00:50:01,601 --> 00:50:02,921
Speaker 1: They're coming to the strip show.

1127
00:50:02,961 --> 00:50:07,201
Speaker 3: Drinking, shitty energies, breakups, divorces, all these things. And next

1128
00:50:07,201 --> 00:50:09,641
Speaker 3: you know, I'm trying to have this routine whilst her

1129
00:50:09,761 --> 00:50:10,601
Speaker 3: energy is right there.

1130
00:50:11,281 --> 00:50:12,361
Speaker 1: I started taking that in.

1131
00:50:12,481 --> 00:50:14,401
Speaker 3: And as I started taking that in I fell back

1132
00:50:14,441 --> 00:50:18,241
Speaker 3: into drinking drugs and sleeping around and it just felt

1133
00:50:18,241 --> 00:50:19,001
Speaker 3: empty and hollow.

1134
00:50:19,841 --> 00:50:22,001
Speaker 1: And that's the same with only fans. It felt empty

1135
00:50:22,001 --> 00:50:22,361
Speaker 1: and hollow.

1136
00:50:22,681 --> 00:50:24,841
Speaker 3: The only stripping I enjoyed, and the only thing working

1137
00:50:24,881 --> 00:50:27,721
Speaker 3: the outer industry that I enjoyed was with forbidding nights.

1138
00:50:27,961 --> 00:50:30,681
Speaker 1: That was it. And what do you think the most

1139
00:50:30,681 --> 00:50:32,681
Speaker 1: important thing is that you've learned from all this?

1140
00:50:34,241 --> 00:50:38,241
Speaker 3: Through all of this to there's so many one thing

1141
00:50:38,321 --> 00:50:40,521
Speaker 3: is never attached to the outcome. The reason I say

1142
00:50:40,601 --> 00:50:43,121
Speaker 3: that is every single time I've done something, I thought

1143
00:50:43,121 --> 00:50:44,521
Speaker 3: I would be a bodybuilder fear of the rest of

1144
00:50:44,561 --> 00:50:46,281
Speaker 3: my life. When I was stripping, I thought I was

1145
00:50:46,321 --> 00:50:47,881
Speaker 3: doing that for the rest of my life. When I

1146
00:50:47,881 --> 00:50:49,361
Speaker 3: was personal training, I thought I'd be doing that for

1147
00:50:49,401 --> 00:50:51,401
Speaker 3: the rest of my life. I'm doing none of those now,

1148
00:50:52,201 --> 00:50:54,681
Speaker 3: and I feel more aligned with my purpose than I

1149
00:50:54,681 --> 00:50:59,161
Speaker 3: ever had before. I think the other one as well,

1150
00:50:59,241 --> 00:51:03,161
Speaker 3: is the biggest thing I learned about was myself. I

1151
00:51:03,241 --> 00:51:06,481
Speaker 3: learned that I can achieved so much more in my life.

1152
00:51:06,481 --> 00:51:08,401
Speaker 3: The more in tune with who I am, the more

1153
00:51:08,401 --> 00:51:11,480
Speaker 3: authentic I can be to myself. The more I don't

1154
00:51:11,481 --> 00:51:12,961
Speaker 3: feel like I fit in with the crowd, and I

1155
00:51:12,961 --> 00:51:14,641
Speaker 3: don't have to feel with the crowd. But the more

1156
00:51:14,681 --> 00:51:16,241
Speaker 3: I do that, the more I am who I am,

1157
00:51:16,281 --> 00:51:18,561
Speaker 3: the more people resonate with it. And then it taught

1158
00:51:18,601 --> 00:51:19,561
Speaker 3: me the two biggest things.

1159
00:51:20,121 --> 00:51:22,281
Speaker 1: Okay, so you still to me, you still look fit,

1160
00:51:22,361 --> 00:51:24,841
Speaker 1: all right? You must you still work out? Yeah? Yeah,

1161
00:51:25,001 --> 00:51:27,241
Speaker 1: not as much as I used to. But yeah, So

1162
00:51:28,241 --> 00:51:29,081
Speaker 1: how have you come.

1163
00:51:28,961 --> 00:51:34,241
Speaker 2: To terms with not using steroids and just going down

1164
00:51:34,281 --> 00:51:37,041
Speaker 2: that natural path now? Is it just your whole sense

1165
00:51:37,081 --> 00:51:41,081
Speaker 2: of everything that you've done now by giving up everything,

1166
00:51:41,481 --> 00:51:43,241
Speaker 2: you just feel like you don't need that anymore in

1167
00:51:43,281 --> 00:51:45,961
Speaker 2: your life because you told me you abused it for

1168
00:51:46,041 --> 00:51:49,561
Speaker 2: massively as you said before, Yeah, I am so.

1169
00:51:50,201 --> 00:51:50,881
Speaker 1: When I was competing.

1170
00:51:50,921 --> 00:51:53,321
Speaker 3: When I first started competing, it wasn't I was taking

1171
00:51:53,361 --> 00:51:56,121
Speaker 3: little doses. When I got to the pro leagues, and

1172
00:51:56,161 --> 00:51:58,041
Speaker 3: the person that I was using as a coach for

1173
00:51:58,161 --> 00:52:01,561
Speaker 3: the cycle, he had me on a heavy dose. When

1174
00:52:01,601 --> 00:52:03,681
Speaker 3: I switched that coach, is I went back to a

1175
00:52:03,721 --> 00:52:06,601
Speaker 3: low dose again. I was doing everything I was doing.

1176
00:52:06,641 --> 00:52:10,721
Speaker 3: Everything is just following blindly. Now I'm on TRT now

1177
00:52:11,041 --> 00:52:14,201
Speaker 3: because my testosterone is after years of doing things I

1178
00:52:14,241 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 3: am everything's low.

1179
00:52:15,761 --> 00:52:17,481
Speaker 1: So I'm on TRT I've been running a.

1180
00:52:17,401 --> 00:52:20,041
Speaker 3: TRT cycle and then from that is I am then

1181
00:52:20,121 --> 00:52:23,041
Speaker 3: able to I'll come off the TRT and work on

1182
00:52:23,081 --> 00:52:25,801
Speaker 3: my natural levels coming back. But the tit when I

1183
00:52:25,841 --> 00:52:27,881
Speaker 3: came off, it was that whole thing, and instead it's

1184
00:52:27,921 --> 00:52:30,841
Speaker 3: coming straight off and that everything just crash has come

1185
00:52:30,881 --> 00:52:32,641
Speaker 3: off and just let everything happens slowly.

1186
00:52:33,081 --> 00:52:35,321
Speaker 1: So I've been doing that for a year.

1187
00:52:36,081 --> 00:52:38,801
Speaker 2: So what's the future hole for ash?

1188
00:52:39,081 --> 00:52:42,561
Speaker 3: Running retreats, running events, speaking on stages around the world,

1189
00:52:42,961 --> 00:52:45,481
Speaker 3: running the floating breath work in there's some of the

1190
00:52:45,481 --> 00:52:49,201
Speaker 3: best pools in the world, married with kids, traveling the

1191
00:52:49,201 --> 00:52:52,041
Speaker 3: world at the freedom that I want to travel, being

1192
00:52:52,081 --> 00:52:53,681
Speaker 3: able to make the biggest impact.

1193
00:52:53,361 --> 00:52:53,761
Speaker 1: That I can.

1194
00:52:54,241 --> 00:52:59,161
Speaker 3: And no regret, no never even the things that I,

1195
00:52:59,281 --> 00:53:01,441
Speaker 3: like you would have thought would be regret, like cool,

1196
00:53:01,761 --> 00:53:04,241
Speaker 3: like the fact that I did it happened, the fact

1197
00:53:04,281 --> 00:53:06,281
Speaker 3: that I did. Those things happen. But there's nothing I

1198
00:53:06,281 --> 00:53:08,201
Speaker 3: can do to change those things. And again, if I

1199
00:53:08,201 --> 00:53:10,601
Speaker 3: didn't do those things, the emotions and the experiences that

1200
00:53:10,681 --> 00:53:13,281
Speaker 3: came from that experience, I wouldn't be here right now.

1201
00:53:13,641 --> 00:53:14,401
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1202
00:53:14,561 --> 00:53:21,761
Speaker 3: Describe yourself in one word, Oh, a student, A student,

1203
00:53:22,841 --> 00:53:26,121
Speaker 3: student of life. Man, I'm always learning I'm always growing,

1204
00:53:26,161 --> 00:53:29,681
Speaker 3: I'm always understanding more of myself, I'm always learning more

1205
00:53:29,721 --> 00:53:30,401
Speaker 3: about people.

1206
00:53:30,521 --> 00:53:33,281
Speaker 1: I'm always learning something to grow.

1207
00:53:33,081 --> 00:53:35,561
Speaker 3: To become the best version of myself, but also to

1208
00:53:35,601 --> 00:53:37,281
Speaker 3: make sure as I can show up the best for

1209
00:53:37,361 --> 00:53:38,881
Speaker 3: the people that need.

1210
00:53:38,561 --> 00:53:41,041
Speaker 2: Me before we end. Just because there's a question of

1211
00:53:41,121 --> 00:53:43,041
Speaker 2: what I asked and you kind of answered it before

1212
00:53:43,121 --> 00:53:47,161
Speaker 2: you brought it off. But what happens if you're you're

1213
00:53:47,161 --> 00:53:50,881
Speaker 2: doing one of your classes and then someone brings up

1214
00:53:51,081 --> 00:53:53,601
Speaker 2: about your past or they realize who you are?

1215
00:53:54,361 --> 00:53:57,961
Speaker 1: Do you think that will be awkward? Now? How are

1216
00:53:57,961 --> 00:53:59,881
Speaker 1: you you know? You don't?

1217
00:54:00,481 --> 00:54:03,481
Speaker 3: No, this is the thing I'm I'm very aware it's

1218
00:54:03,521 --> 00:54:04,561
Speaker 3: going to happen at some point.

1219
00:54:05,241 --> 00:54:06,201
Speaker 1: I'm very happened.

1220
00:54:06,281 --> 00:54:09,721
Speaker 3: Yet. Look, I've had people that have been following me

1221
00:54:09,801 --> 00:54:12,401
Speaker 3: through only fans and stripping that have now become clients

1222
00:54:12,401 --> 00:54:15,521
Speaker 3: of mine that like, they literally became clients because they

1223
00:54:15,521 --> 00:54:17,561
Speaker 3: saw the transition, they saw the journey. So they went

1224
00:54:17,561 --> 00:54:20,481
Speaker 3: from literally seeing me play with myself to then watching

1225
00:54:20,521 --> 00:54:22,201
Speaker 3: me educate them on how to live.

1226
00:54:22,041 --> 00:54:23,921
Speaker 1: A better life. Really funny.

1227
00:54:24,681 --> 00:54:27,241
Speaker 3: But it's like it's going to happen at some point.

1228
00:54:27,321 --> 00:54:30,841
Speaker 3: I've already had people previously that have tried to extort me,

1229
00:54:30,921 --> 00:54:33,321
Speaker 3: have tried to go like look at these things that

1230
00:54:33,361 --> 00:54:35,121
Speaker 3: he used to do and all this sort of stuff

1231
00:54:35,201 --> 00:54:37,081
Speaker 3: like this is the one sorry, this is the one

1232
00:54:37,121 --> 00:54:39,281
Speaker 3: thing that gets me because I see the comments that

1233
00:54:39,321 --> 00:54:40,881
Speaker 3: I put on I've seen on some of my social

1234
00:54:40,921 --> 00:54:43,921
Speaker 3: media posts stripping a month videos. So many people are

1235
00:54:44,001 --> 00:54:48,761
Speaker 3: so misinformed and literally sharing their uneducated opinions about their

1236
00:54:48,841 --> 00:54:51,721
Speaker 3: ideas of what my life is that they're making these

1237
00:54:51,761 --> 00:54:53,881
Speaker 3: judgments on it. But not only that, for men it's

1238
00:54:53,881 --> 00:54:56,681
Speaker 3: so much easier to do this transition. For women it's

1239
00:54:56,681 --> 00:54:59,761
Speaker 3: so much harder, but it's so much more empowering for

1240
00:54:59,841 --> 00:55:02,161
Speaker 3: them to go through and do this because people have

1241
00:55:02,201 --> 00:55:04,921
Speaker 3: this idea of like if you get an only fans

1242
00:55:05,041 --> 00:55:06,761
Speaker 3: get into adult work, or you're a stripper that you

1243
00:55:07,161 --> 00:55:10,201
Speaker 3: don't know how to make money and you're a crackle. No,

1244
00:55:10,401 --> 00:55:13,401
Speaker 3: that's not the case. Like back in the eighties, one

1245
00:55:13,481 --> 00:55:15,881
Speaker 3: hundred percent cool, that's what a lot of people may

1246
00:55:15,881 --> 00:55:16,521
Speaker 3: have been doing.

1247
00:55:17,001 --> 00:55:18,161
Speaker 1: But these days, a lot of.

1248
00:55:18,081 --> 00:55:19,921
Speaker 3: People that are strippers that are working only fans in

1249
00:55:19,921 --> 00:55:22,241
Speaker 3: the autult industry are a shitload more money than these

1250
00:55:22,241 --> 00:55:25,881
Speaker 3: people making judgments. Most of these people are making criticisms

1251
00:55:25,881 --> 00:55:27,841
Speaker 3: about them, but are signed up to their things behind

1252
00:55:27,841 --> 00:55:30,281
Speaker 3: the scenes, and at the end of the day, that's

1253
00:55:30,281 --> 00:55:32,881
Speaker 3: a person going through the life experiences that have landed

1254
00:55:32,921 --> 00:55:36,081
Speaker 3: in this position because that's where life took them. Just

1255
00:55:36,121 --> 00:55:38,161
Speaker 3: like fucking Bob who ended up being a janitor, his

1256
00:55:38,241 --> 00:55:40,201
Speaker 3: life took him down that place of him being a janitor.

1257
00:55:40,761 --> 00:55:42,921
Speaker 3: The job in the role makes no difference to who

1258
00:55:42,961 --> 00:55:45,641
Speaker 3: that person is, and most of these people are very intelligent,

1259
00:55:46,001 --> 00:55:47,841
Speaker 3: deep spiritual, deeper connected they are.

1260
00:55:48,121 --> 00:55:48,681
Speaker 1: Don't get wrong.

1261
00:55:48,761 --> 00:55:50,401
Speaker 3: There are a lot of materialistic people in there that

1262
00:55:50,441 --> 00:55:53,121
Speaker 3: are shallow as fuck, but there are a lot of people,

1263
00:55:53,201 --> 00:55:57,441
Speaker 3: especially going through this transition now, that are understanding more

1264
00:55:57,481 --> 00:56:00,201
Speaker 3: of who they are, realizing that that isn't who I

1265
00:56:00,241 --> 00:56:02,881
Speaker 3: am anymore. That resonates it at that point in time,

1266
00:56:03,121 --> 00:56:05,601
Speaker 3: it doesn't resonate anymore. So they're making a shit shift.

1267
00:56:05,921 --> 00:56:08,041
Speaker 3: And too many people are judging these people and they're

1268
00:56:08,081 --> 00:56:10,001
Speaker 3: put on their past instead of going, you know what,

1269
00:56:10,481 --> 00:56:12,601
Speaker 3: well done for coming out and doing something different about it.

1270
00:56:13,001 --> 00:56:15,441
Speaker 3: So I bring this up because I've got a lot

1271
00:56:15,481 --> 00:56:17,841
Speaker 3: of my friends females who are going through this thing

1272
00:56:17,881 --> 00:56:19,641
Speaker 3: at the moment. I want them to know that it's

1273
00:56:19,681 --> 00:56:22,921
Speaker 3: okay what you're going through and how powerful and strong

1274
00:56:22,961 --> 00:56:24,561
Speaker 3: it is to be able to stand up and share

1275
00:56:24,561 --> 00:56:27,801
Speaker 3: a story in the face of judgment from so many people.

1276
00:56:28,361 --> 00:56:30,641
Speaker 3: But yeah, people come to me with my videos and

1277
00:56:30,641 --> 00:56:32,801
Speaker 3: they say I saw this video of you, or I

1278
00:56:32,801 --> 00:56:35,441
Speaker 3: remember doing this. I had a beer, like did you

1279
00:56:35,521 --> 00:56:37,041
Speaker 3: have fun? Did you enjoy the video?

1280
00:56:40,561 --> 00:56:43,601
Speaker 2: Oh? Man, Well, I'll say this, you know what, it

1281
00:56:43,641 --> 00:56:45,721
Speaker 2: was worth contacting you for this interview.

1282
00:56:45,721 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, because, as I said

1283
00:56:47,481 --> 00:56:48,041
Speaker 1: at the start of.

1284
00:56:48,041 --> 00:56:50,801
Speaker 2: The interview, I seen it, I ready, and I just

1285
00:56:50,841 --> 00:56:53,041
Speaker 2: went I got to have this person on my podcast

1286
00:56:53,081 --> 00:56:54,641
Speaker 2: because I know he's got more to tell them what

1287
00:56:54,681 --> 00:56:55,481
Speaker 2: he's fucking saying.

1288
00:56:56,281 --> 00:57:00,041
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I'm I'm a complete open book.

1289
00:57:01,281 --> 00:57:03,681
Speaker 2: I know, because you've actually said a lot of things

1290
00:57:03,721 --> 00:57:09,081
Speaker 2: that I actually couldn't fucking find on Google. You're welcome,

1291
00:57:09,521 --> 00:57:12,001
Speaker 2: but you know what, it's been a pleasure, and I

1292
00:57:12,041 --> 00:57:14,081
Speaker 2: hope all the success for you in the future. But

1293
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Speaker 2: I really appreciate you coming on my podcast and sharing

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Speaker 2: your story.

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Speaker 1: Bro Bro, thank you very much much for having me