1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: I'll get a gang. I hope your bloody terrific. So 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:08,800 Speaker 1: I want to talk about intelligence today, and I want 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,559 Speaker 1: to for a range of reasons. One, I've always been 4 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: fascinated with the idea of being smart, and I think 5 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: because I never really felt smart, like I never really 6 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: felt like an athlete, so I tried to become one. 7 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: I'd never had amazing genetics, so I tried to optimize 8 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:35,560 Speaker 1: my genetics, and I rightly or wrongly through my childhood 9 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 1: and teen years. But I will admit also though I 10 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 1: wasn't a very studious student. I didn't apply myself brilliantly, 11 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: but I but I was definitely around other people who were, 12 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: from an academic point of view, perhaps more adapted to that, 13 00:00:54,160 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 1: more suited to that, more natural students than MOI. But 14 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: there were sometimes when I realized I had a kind 15 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: of a kind of intelligence where I could navigate situations, 16 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: solve problems, do things, understand things, deal with things that 17 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: some of my academically brilliant friends couldn't. So I think 18 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: I understood from an early age, or I became curious 19 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: from an early age about what intelligence might be beyond academia, 20 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: what intelligence could be, or maybe what it is beyond 21 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 1: IQ and some number, some arbitrary number that we might 22 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: score answering some arbitrary, very familiar, very similar questions, you know, 23 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: across that kind of IQ testings spectrum. And so for me, 24 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: intelligence over the last ten to twenty years, I've really 25 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: come to understand that intelligence is not a thing, but 26 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: rather a range of things. It's many things. And we 27 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,800 Speaker 1: know some people who are socially smart but academically not 28 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: so smart, or creatively brilliant but not you know, can't 29 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: add three numbers. And some people who have got brilliant 30 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 1: incredible timing and humor and storytelling capacity, but they can't 31 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:38,640 Speaker 1: cook a piece of toast. And in some situations or 32 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 1: some rooms, they're brilliant. In other situations or rooms they're 33 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: not so brilliant. And I think that's all of us, 34 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: all of the time. So there was a dude called 35 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: Howard Gardner. I should have looked up when, but I 36 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: think it was the early eighties. He developed a theory 37 00:02:55,680 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 1: called the theory of multiple intelligences. Now he's probably should 38 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: have done more research, but I know he is or 39 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: was a professor at Harvard. He's a psychologist, and he 40 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: kind of proposed that intelligence was not a single, fixed 41 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: ability to be measured by traditional IQ tests, but rather 42 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 1: intelligence was a range of things. It comprised a variety 43 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: of distinct types of intelligence that reflected different capacities to 44 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: interact with the world. And so he wrote a book 45 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: one hundred years ago, now I think it was about 46 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:47,119 Speaker 1: forty years ago, early eighties, called Frames of Mind, The 47 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: Theories of Multiple Intelligences. And while this, I mean there 48 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: was four decades ago, so it's been expanded and extrapolated, 49 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 1: and different people have thrown there to bob'sworth, as Mary 50 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: Harper says, and I've even got one addition to his 51 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 1: kind of proposal or his his kind of model. But 52 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: I think this is a good way to open the 53 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: door because I want to talk, as you would have 54 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 1: seen by the title of today's episode, I want to 55 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: talk about interpersonal intelligence because I think that on a practical, functional, 56 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: operational level, out in the real world, as a human 57 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: being interacting with other human beings, which is most of 58 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: us most of the time, not all of us all 59 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 1: of the time, but most of us do a lot 60 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: of you know, interacting, connecting, connecting, conversing, problem solving, working 61 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 1: alongside being team members with and so on other humans, 62 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: and our ability to be able to do that and 63 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: interact and connect and solve problems and all of those 64 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:54,920 Speaker 1: things in real time with other humans. That capacity falls 65 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,479 Speaker 1: under the banner of interpersonal intelligence. How well we can 66 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,919 Speaker 1: do that, how well we can int act with, intersect with, 67 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:08,040 Speaker 1: understand meet the needs of communicate effectively with be understood 68 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:15,719 Speaker 1: by others. So he recognized eight core intelligences. One of 69 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: them I'm a bit oh, yeah, they are. I think 70 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:20,280 Speaker 1: there's a lot more, but I think this is a 71 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: nice start. So his first one was linguistic intelligence, which 72 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 1: is essentially sensitivity to spoken and written language, the ability 73 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:34,239 Speaker 1: to learn new languages, and our capacity to be able 74 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: to use language well to express ourselves, he says quite clunkily, 75 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: which is ironic for that sentence, But to be able 76 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: to articulate ourselves in a way, express ourselves in a 77 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: way that others understand. But part of that also is understanding. 78 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:58,840 Speaker 1: Listen to this sentence, understanding how they understand. As I've 79 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: said before, thinking about thinking, So that whole kind of 80 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: understanding others, which we'll get to. So linguistic intelligence, how 81 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: well we can frame things, express things, tell stories, solve 82 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: problems in conversation, sit in a meeting, connect with others 83 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:22,000 Speaker 1: in conversation, understand be understood, and all of that that 84 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: comes broadly in the space of linguistic intelligence, logical mathematical intelligence. 85 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 1: To this is more in the I guess, the traditional 86 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: IQ space, which is our ability to think logically, to 87 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 1: analyze problems, to recognize problems, to analyze problems, to come 88 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: up with potential solutions and strategies, and all of those 89 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: things that I talk about a lot timelines. Accountability to 90 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:56,839 Speaker 1: understand abstract concepts, you know, like mathematics and scientific reasoning, 91 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:02,160 Speaker 1: and you know people generally, people with high levels of 92 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: this often fall into you know, the sciences, mathematics, physics, engineers, 93 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 1: you know, people like that. He his third kind of 94 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:20,120 Speaker 1: intelligence in his list of eight is musical intelligence, whereas 95 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 1: I I think I would replace this one. I would 96 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: replace this one with creative intelligence, which is just more 97 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 1: broad like I think for me, whether it's through music, 98 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 1: whether it's through art, whether it's through singing, whether it's 99 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: through coming up with an idea to build something and 100 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: then transferring that theoretical something in our head to a 101 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: real world something. It could be to design a beautiful 102 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: garden at the front of your house. It could be 103 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 1: it could be to build a bridge literal brick doesn't matter, 104 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: but anything where that creative intelligence is where we can 105 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: invent something in our mind in inverted commas, conceptualize it, 106 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:14,000 Speaker 1: visualize it, dream it up, and then extract that from 107 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: our mind being something that doesn't exist in the world, 108 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: and pushing it out into the world and transferring that 109 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: theoretical potential something into a real world, actual something for 110 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: other people to experience and interact with and enjoy it. 111 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: And of course, you know, musicians, composes, artists of all kinds, architects, 112 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 1: you know, there are a myriad of people who fall 113 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 1: into this space. His next one is called bodily or 114 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:52,959 Speaker 1: kinesthetic intelligence. And so we see this with often with 115 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: people who are physical like they are very you know, 116 00:08:56,440 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: so dancers and athletes and even people like our friend 117 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 1: doctor Alex who's been on the show a bunch who's 118 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: a neurosurgeon. So surgeons, neurosurgeons people like that who can 119 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 1: control their body really well, like they have an ability 120 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: to be able to move their body in a way 121 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: to execute certain physical requirements, be they athletic, or be 122 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:33,000 Speaker 1: that something less gross mode of control and more kind 123 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 1: of very specifically fine mode of control, like a surgeon. 124 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:42,319 Speaker 1: But it's that body awareness, that body control, that ability 125 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:45,680 Speaker 1: to be able to even to kick a football, or 126 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: to throw a netball or a basketball, or throw a 127 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 1: javelin or make an incision with a scalpel in a 128 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: brain and do what's required. That's what we would call 129 00:09:54,679 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 1: bodily or kinesthetic intelligence. Spatial intelligence. So somebody that I 130 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 1: know who's got a high level of spatial intelligence, and 131 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 1: it's almost like where we are, where we are, and 132 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,680 Speaker 1: where things are in three dimensional space. So I trained 133 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: to an elite athlete for a very long time, five 134 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 1: time Olympian, five time world champion, Jackie Cooper aerial ski jumper. 135 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,199 Speaker 1: So somebody like her who would have to hurdle down 136 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 1: a ramp at eighty kilometers an hour, jump off the 137 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:36,439 Speaker 1: ramp and then twist and contort and spin and rotate 138 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,000 Speaker 1: upside down, inside out, back the front, and then know 139 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 1: where she was so that she could then keep moving 140 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:48,280 Speaker 1: forward and then land beat together ish in an upright 141 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: position and then complete the movement and win a gold medal. 142 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:57,680 Speaker 1: That ability, that spatial awareness, that's spatial intelligence. It can 143 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 1: be trained to an extent. Of course, we can improve 144 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 1: spatial awareness through training and our ability to do all 145 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: of those things. But people like you know, pilots also. 146 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 2: Navigators in planes need to be able to visualize and 147 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 2: have that capacity in real time to know where they 148 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 2: are even when they're upside down. 149 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 1: So that's a kind of I don't think I have 150 00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 1: that pretty sure. If I jumped off the ski RAMPI 151 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: would I would land on my head. That would be 152 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:42,079 Speaker 1: my first and last attempt. So the one that I'm 153 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 1: going to talk about today mostly just because it interests 154 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:50,320 Speaker 1: me and I think this kind of intelligence is kind 155 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:54,319 Speaker 1: of a personal person superpower. I'll talk about it last. 156 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 1: But on his list, it's number six into personal intelligence. 157 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 1: Number seven is intrapersonal intelligence. This is really falls in 158 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 1: the kind of self awareness. Space is understanding you, is 159 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: understanding your thoughts and feelings. You're like, what. 160 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 3: Drives you, why you think the way that you do, 161 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 3: Your ability to navigate life, and to be aware of 162 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:25,679 Speaker 3: the space between the objective reality around you and the 163 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 3: subjective reality in you. 164 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 1: That's that. So that intra versus interpersonal personal person intro 165 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:37,960 Speaker 1: within you. So you know and I think because my 166 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:44,320 Speaker 1: PhD is in this space of understanding, understanding myself, understanding others, 167 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 1: and how I am for others, but that whole kind 168 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 1: of deep dive into self awareness. I think the reflection 169 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 1: and the introspection that I've been through over the last 170 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: five years of study in this space has really helped 171 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 1: me understand me better, to understand me better, but also 172 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: then to understand me for others better. And that has 173 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 1: helped me do what I'm doing right now, which is 174 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,960 Speaker 1: sit in a room with no audience, with no feedback, 175 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,440 Speaker 1: with no real stimulus, and to be able to keep 176 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:24,560 Speaker 1: a conversation going and recognize in real time, you know, 177 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 1: my own nerves, my own ego, my own propensity to 178 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 1: overtalk my you know, all the bullshit that is me, 179 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,559 Speaker 1: the good stuff and the bad stuff. But to be 180 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: able to understand myself and when I can, when I 181 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:42,920 Speaker 1: can understand myself better, you know, self awareness, self reflection, 182 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:47,600 Speaker 1: then I can regulate myself better. And the last kind 183 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:54,199 Speaker 1: of last kind of intelligence that old Howard Gardner talks 184 00:13:54,240 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 1: about is naturalistic intelligence, which is kind of sensitivity to 185 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 1: nature and to be able to understand the relationship between 186 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 1: us and the planet US and you know, nature, ecology, flora, fauna, 187 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:18,240 Speaker 1: and so people who are in the kind of kind 188 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:25,760 Speaker 1: of the biologist, space, conservationists, farmers, people who work on 189 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:30,640 Speaker 1: and with the earth and land and nature and plants 190 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 1: and agriculture and all of that. Those kinds of people 191 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,360 Speaker 1: who were great at that and suited to that. You 192 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: would say they had potentially high naturalistic intelligence. But the 193 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: one that I want to dive into, let me just 194 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 1: finish also just quickly. So in this was quite groundbreaking 195 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 1: when he wrote his book. You know, there of multiple 196 00:14:53,760 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: intelligences in the early eighties because while you know, even 197 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 1: the Stoics we're talking two thousand and three thousand years 198 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 1: ago about you know, what intelligence was and understanding their 199 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: self and all of those, But for a very long 200 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 1: time in research and academia, intelligence was really looked upon 201 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 1: one dimensionally and researched one dimensionally. You want to know 202 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 1: how intelligent someone is, they do this particular test and 203 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:29,240 Speaker 1: then we go boom, you're that intelligent. But we now 204 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 1: know through you know, a range of things, and we've 205 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: evolved and we've adapted, and we've got more awareness and 206 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: more understanding. We know that that you know there are 207 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 1: some people who are academically challenged. But like, for example, 208 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 1: I read recently and I posted recently, I think I'm 209 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:49,880 Speaker 1: going to fuck this up a little bit. But it's 210 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:55,360 Speaker 1: a very high percentage of millionaires and therefore billionaires, but 211 00:15:55,400 --> 00:16:00,320 Speaker 1: a very disproportionately high percentage of people who who are 212 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 1: super successful in business are dyslexic. And you think, wow, 213 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 1: people who really struggled. So obviously, most dyslexic people who 214 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: can't read well and really struggle to understand the words 215 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,359 Speaker 1: on the page in front. 216 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 2: Of them, an extraordinarily a disproportionately hypercentage of them do 217 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 2: well in life. 218 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,800 Speaker 1: And I was talking with this about this with a 219 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,240 Speaker 1: friend of mine, Christian, who I trained with the gym 220 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:36,120 Speaker 1: alongside the crab, and his dyslexic and he's also he's 221 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,920 Speaker 1: also funny, he can also read the room. He's also creative. 222 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: He's also really good at solving problems. And our kind 223 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: of theory together was that because he lived in a 224 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 1: world where he often couldn't understand what everyone around him understood, 225 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 1: I mean everyone, would you know, open to chapter four 226 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 1: and read fucking page one, two three of the Web 227 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,360 Speaker 1: of Life, the biology book we had in year eight 228 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,879 Speaker 1: nine and ten or whatever it was, everyone's reading it 229 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,400 Speaker 1: going all right, so it sells a single this and that, 230 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 1: and he was looking at it as just a page 231 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:17,560 Speaker 1: full of fucking horror glyphics and mumbo jumbo bieroglyphics whatever. 232 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 1: You can't understand it, you get my point. And so 233 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,200 Speaker 1: when you live in a world where there's a lot 234 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 1: going on that you can't naturally understand, and you need 235 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 1: to figure out how to navigate that world with your 236 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: own kind of I guess language, and with your own strategies, 237 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,760 Speaker 1: and that requires a specific kind of intelligence and a 238 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 1: real ability to be able to be able to problem 239 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 1: solve in real time. And so I'm sure there's research 240 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,520 Speaker 1: on this. Why the bit between you know, people who 241 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:58,360 Speaker 1: are people who have dyslexia and why they are disproportionately 242 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 1: successful in business, But I would not be surprised if 243 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:07,439 Speaker 1: there was a correlation between that and their ability to 244 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 1: solve problems, to think outside the box, to be creative. 245 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: Because they had to be creative. They couldn't do things typically, 246 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,399 Speaker 1: they couldn't do things traditionally, they couldn't do things the 247 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 1: way that their classmates did things. And also because it's 248 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:28,640 Speaker 1: not something that people really wanted known or to make public, 249 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 1: or you know, people would keep it a secret and 250 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,160 Speaker 1: they would not tell people quite often, or they would 251 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,159 Speaker 1: tell limited people because they didn't want to be judged 252 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:41,879 Speaker 1: or criticized or marginalized or bullied or all of those things. 253 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 1: And so they developed this capacity to be able to 254 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 1: navigate the world looking like the rest of the group, 255 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 1: while on some level not really being like the rest 256 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:58,040 Speaker 1: of the group in the sense that they didn't have 257 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:03,000 Speaker 1: a certain skill or capacity that their friends or colleagues 258 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 1: or classmates did anyway, So but just quickly when when 259 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:16,640 Speaker 1: Old Howard was developing this, he also made clear that 260 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 1: or he suggested that there was no real hierarchy of intelligence, 261 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:30,879 Speaker 1: that they were all equal in a sense. And I 262 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:35,760 Speaker 1: understand what he's saying with that, but also I think 263 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,720 Speaker 1: we would have to acknowledge that different kinds of intelligence 264 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,400 Speaker 1: would be more or less important, more or less valued 265 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,360 Speaker 1: in different contexts and different cultures, depending on where we're 266 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,640 Speaker 1: at and what we're doing. If you're living on an island, 267 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 1: then interpersonal living on an island by yourself, then interpersonal 268 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 1: intelligence is probably not high on the list of things 269 00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 1: that you need. But being able to solve problems might 270 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:07,160 Speaker 1: be really fucking important. So his thinking was that they are. 271 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,120 Speaker 1: They're all different, kind of connected, but all different, and 272 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:16,919 Speaker 1: none is more valuable than the other. And I think 273 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:27,359 Speaker 1: that is generally true, but specifically in certain instances, cases, environments, context, cultures, 274 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:32,120 Speaker 1: of course, organizations than different kinds of intelligence are going 275 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,959 Speaker 1: to be held in higher esteem, of course, and you know, 276 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 1: more valuable in certain contexts. So let's I just want 277 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,919 Speaker 1: to share with you just some really practical examples of 278 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 1: its personal intelligence. So, in general terms, it's the ability 279 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 1: to understand, to interact and communicate effectively with other people. 280 00:20:55,960 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 1: I'll say it again, to understand, to interact and communicate effectively, 281 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 1: build rapport, build understanding, build awareness, build respect, work with others. 282 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:13,160 Speaker 1: It involves recognizing and interpreting other people's emotions, motivations, desires, 283 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:17,480 Speaker 1: and intentions and responding in ways that build connection, collaboration, 284 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:23,200 Speaker 1: and mutual understanding. So people with this kind of intelligence, 285 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: you know, this high level interpersonal intelligence, tend to excel 286 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,359 Speaker 1: in social settings. So in other words, and by social 287 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:37,680 Speaker 1: I don't mean at parties, I mean, although they're probably 288 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 1: crush parties, I just mean any environment, any situation setting 289 00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 1: where there are other people, so you know which is 290 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 1: going to make them good at leadership and teamwork, and 291 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 1: like I've said many times, resolving conflict and building connection 292 00:21:54,840 --> 00:22:03,080 Speaker 1: and building strong, respectful personal and professional relationships. So the 293 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:10,879 Speaker 1: six kind of characteristics that i'll mate identifies as important 294 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 1: or foundational too. And none of these are going to 295 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,720 Speaker 1: blow you away, but I'll just quickly run through them. 296 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: So empathy, understanding how others feel, and caring would be 297 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:27,439 Speaker 1: good effective communication, conveying thoughts, ideas and emotions clearly and 298 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:32,160 Speaker 1: listening actively, being able to resolve conflict of course, teamwork 299 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:37,280 Speaker 1: of course, social awareness of course, and our ability to 300 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 1: influence others in an ethical way, not in an a 301 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:48,359 Speaker 1: moral kind of subversive way. So I wanted to share 302 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:57,400 Speaker 1: just some really fundamental thoughts and examples of interpersonal intelligence 303 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,359 Speaker 1: for what I do and for the people that I 304 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,239 Speaker 1: work with, which is a lot of corporates. I work with, 305 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 1: some athletes, I work with a range of people across 306 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:13,639 Speaker 1: a range of settings, but virtually everybody that I know, 307 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 1: I think everybody that I know, but maybe somebody doesn't 308 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,040 Speaker 1: come under this ban. But in terms of who springs 309 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 1: to mind, everybody that I know needs to be able 310 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,439 Speaker 1: to build rapport and trust and respect and understanding and 311 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:33,639 Speaker 1: communication with other people at some stage. And so this 312 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 1: falls in the context of interpersonal intelligence. So for example, 313 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:46,159 Speaker 1: knowing when to talk and when not to talk. So 314 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:51,000 Speaker 1: this is something that I was probably an over talker 315 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,919 Speaker 1: when sound ironic coming from a man who's just talking 316 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,919 Speaker 1: NonStop now, but in one on one situations or in 317 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:03,080 Speaker 1: group situation maybe when I was younger, I think I 318 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,200 Speaker 1: was an overtalker, not a chronic over talker, but probably 319 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 1: at times spoke more than I needed to. And if 320 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,800 Speaker 1: you are in especially if you're in a one on 321 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: one conversation and you're over talking, then you're under listening. 322 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,919 Speaker 1: And if you are over talking, you are probably creating 323 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 1: more disconnection than you are connection. And if you're over talking, 324 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,439 Speaker 1: then you might be creating more problems and solutions. So 325 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:42,240 Speaker 1: being not only knowing when to talk to somebody, but 326 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,879 Speaker 1: also how to talk how to talk to them, like 327 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 1: how do I approach this conversation or this interaction in 328 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:54,040 Speaker 1: a way with this particular person who isn't like me 329 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 1: and also isn't like that other person over there or 330 00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 1: the other person over the other side of the room, 331 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,200 Speaker 1: but with this person about this issue that I wanted 332 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 1: to discuss or explore or resolve or whatever. When is 333 00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,879 Speaker 1: a good time to talk to them, How do I 334 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 1: talk to them? And also perhaps in what, sometimes even 335 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 1: where should I talk to them. Many times, when I 336 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,200 Speaker 1: had a challenge, let's say, a challenge or an issue 337 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,440 Speaker 1: or a problem with one of my staff members. Remember 338 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,199 Speaker 1: I owned gyms, and so most of the work was 339 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,639 Speaker 1: done most of the most all of the training was 340 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 1: done on the gym floor, of course, and most of 341 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 1: the work was done out of an office and on 342 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 1: a gym floor. So if I would see somebody doing 343 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 1: one of my team doing something that I didn't want 344 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,199 Speaker 1: or that I didn't approve of, or I thought was 345 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:55,480 Speaker 1: potentially problematic. Now, depending on what it was, of course 346 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,600 Speaker 1: i thought someone was going to injure someone in the 347 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 1: next ten seconds, I would just going intervene, and if 348 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 1: they got their feelings hurt, bad luck, because I'm more 349 00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,880 Speaker 1: interested in a client not getting hurt than someone's feelings 350 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 1: emotions being fucking hurt for seven seconds, right, But in 351 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 1: general terms, when I would need to have a talk 352 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,680 Speaker 1: to one of my team about something that I thought, 353 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,120 Speaker 1: it depends of course, maybe I was going to tell 354 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:23,679 Speaker 1: them they were doing great. But if I was going 355 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,960 Speaker 1: to tell them that there's something I needed them to 356 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 1: think about or change, I would be really careful about 357 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,520 Speaker 1: how I did that. I would be really mindful about 358 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:40,120 Speaker 1: the energy that I brought into that conversation. I would 359 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,439 Speaker 1: be really mindful of the language and the tone that 360 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:47,800 Speaker 1: I used. I would be really mindful of what is 361 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:48,760 Speaker 1: it like being. 362 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:52,360 Speaker 2: Around me, because I can be intimidating, and I don't 363 00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 2: want to intimidate this person. 364 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to upset them. I just want to 365 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,919 Speaker 1: fix this thing or I want to resolve this. I 366 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,800 Speaker 1: want to have a conversation about this, and I want 367 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 1: to do it in a way that works for them 368 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 1: and works for me, so that when we finish this interaction, 369 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 1: we've made some real progress and they're fine, but they're 370 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 1: somewhere between fine and happy, and I've moved closer to 371 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 1: or we've moved closer to solving a problem. So if 372 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,159 Speaker 1: somebody would do something on the gym floor or there 373 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:29,479 Speaker 1: was something happening that I didn't love, I would virtually 374 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 1: never I would never have this conversation in front of 375 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 1: somebody else, like because that would be, even if what 376 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 1: I had to say was relevant and right and pertinent 377 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 1: and potentially going to help them as an exercise specialist 378 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,280 Speaker 1: or an exercise professional, even if what I had to 379 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,959 Speaker 1: say was one hundred percent accurate, relevant and right, giving 380 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 1: that information in the wrong setting, in the wrong way, 381 00:27:55,119 --> 00:28:00,239 Speaker 1: at the wrong time is a fucking catastrophe. And that 382 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 1: is what interpersonal intelligence is about. That it is about 383 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,919 Speaker 1: knowing when, what, and how to connect with people, to 384 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:14,440 Speaker 1: talk to people. It's about it's about understanding, like, for example, 385 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:18,679 Speaker 1: with that conversation or any conversation, understanding their reality in 386 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 1: the moment. Remember that old chestnut that I keep wheeling out. 387 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 1: As you know, theory of mind is your ability to 388 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:31,679 Speaker 1: understand somebody else's thoughts and feelings and subjective experience as 389 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:37,200 Speaker 1: much as you can in the moment, realizing that only 390 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,640 Speaker 1: you think like you and what's in your head. What 391 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 1: is your intention? What is your goal? Might not necessarily 392 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: be anything close to their fucking version of that interaction. 393 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,800 Speaker 1: Your intention may well not be their experience. Your intention, 394 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,120 Speaker 1: I'm assuming, would be good, it would be positive. It 395 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,920 Speaker 1: would be to fix something, to improve something, to help someone, 396 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 1: to enlighten someone, to help them become better. But you 397 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 1: and I know this is no revelation. I'm not pulling 398 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,640 Speaker 1: back some mysterious curtain now when I tell you that, 399 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,960 Speaker 1: how many times have your good intentions not had a 400 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,840 Speaker 1: good outcome? Or how many times have you shared with 401 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 1: somebody something that is unequivocally true, but nonetheless it is 402 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:32,560 Speaker 1: not well received at all? And the outcome of that interaction, 403 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 1: despite your good intention, despite the validity of the information 404 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 1: being shared, actually makes things worse. So we need timing, 405 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: we need awareness. We need to know when and how 406 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: to speak to people. I spoke recently about the fact 407 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:54,080 Speaker 1: that we all speak our own language. Now, of course 408 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 1: that we all speak English, right, but if we for example, 409 00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:01,400 Speaker 1: if we reframe English from a language to a tool, 410 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,320 Speaker 1: it's a tool that we use, and we all have 411 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:09,360 Speaker 1: the same essentially a version of the same vocabulary. And 412 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,360 Speaker 1: even though we all have a similar or same vocabulary, 413 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: we don't all speak the same. We don't all speak 414 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 1: the same. We have a different language. And the way 415 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,480 Speaker 1: that we speak in inverted commons is the way that 416 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:26,280 Speaker 1: we think. So the way that I speak is interpreted 417 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 1: by some people as funny and amusing, by some people 418 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:34,080 Speaker 1: as rude, and abrasive by some people, as offensive by 419 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:39,120 Speaker 1: some people, as enlightening and illuminating by some people, as educational. 420 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:45,320 Speaker 1: Now all of these disparate, different varied experiences of the 421 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:52,120 Speaker 1: same person me speaking the same way. I know that 422 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 1: that is going to happen. And so when I begin 423 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 1: to talk to a group that two or three or 424 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:07,480 Speaker 1: two or three thousand, I'm absolutely positive that nobody in 425 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,280 Speaker 1: front of me is having an identical experience of me 426 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 1: as somebody else in the group. There might be similar, 427 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 1: there might be some overlap, but that is that kind 428 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:23,160 Speaker 1: of awareness, that kind of intelligence, that kind of knowing, 429 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 1: that kind of real time kind of navigation of what 430 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,600 Speaker 1: is in front of me. That is high level into 431 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 1: personal intelligence. I'm not saying I have high level, but 432 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:39,360 Speaker 1: that is an example of it. Being able to read 433 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: the room, you know, being able to I told you 434 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 1: a story recently about a gig I did with hundreds 435 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 1: and hundred seven or eight hundred people, a mental health 436 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:56,800 Speaker 1: workshop for the general public, and a young lady in 437 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,120 Speaker 1: the front row who was amazing. By the way, her 438 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,440 Speaker 1: name was mel I think her name was mal I remember, 439 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 1: and she had an intellectual handicap, but she was fucking 440 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,640 Speaker 1: fantastic and nalarious and gorgeous. And she kept shouting out 441 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 1: while I was doing different things, while I was doing 442 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:15,920 Speaker 1: my presentation. It's not really a presentation. It's just a talk, 443 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,160 Speaker 1: isn't it. But here's the thing, right, So in that moment, 444 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,880 Speaker 1: I've got hundreds of people there to listen to me 445 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 1: sitting down, and I've got to talk for an hour 446 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:28,320 Speaker 1: and a quarter about an hour and a quarter maybe 447 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,120 Speaker 1: it went a bit longer. And there's and I've got 448 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,040 Speaker 1: seven or eight hundred different people with different personalities and 449 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:37,640 Speaker 1: backgrounds and needs and expectations and wants in front of me. 450 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 1: I've got this information that I want to share. I've 451 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 1: got this kind of conversational journey that I want to 452 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 1: take people on. And I did not expect to have 453 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 1: Mel in the front road joining in the process, but 454 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,200 Speaker 1: I did. I did have her, And so then the 455 00:32:56,320 --> 00:33:00,280 Speaker 1: challenge is, well, how do I do this? How do 456 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,440 Speaker 1: I do this in real time? And how do I 457 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,120 Speaker 1: And so we just need to be able to problem 458 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:13,560 Speaker 1: solve like with other people with different persons interpersonal intelligence. 459 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,920 Speaker 1: And I don't know how well I did, but I 460 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,520 Speaker 1: think I did okay. And so I thought well, for 461 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: better or worse, Mel's involved, and so essentially it was 462 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:29,120 Speaker 1: a three way kind of exchange between Mel and me 463 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 1: and everyone else in the room. And the feedback that 464 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 1: I got was really positive, which was really nice. But 465 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 1: being able to being able to be in an unpredictable, uncertain, 466 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:48,120 Speaker 1: unknown dynamic where you know when you step on stage 467 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,320 Speaker 1: as a speaker, and most of you won't do this, 468 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:54,760 Speaker 1: but it could be even just stepping in into a 469 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,160 Speaker 1: meeting room where you're talking, but when you step on 470 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 1: stage as a speaker, you don't know the people in 471 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,800 Speaker 1: the room. Generally, most of the audiences I talk to 472 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:08,880 Speaker 1: in the real world, face to face, three dimensional live gigs, 473 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,480 Speaker 1: most of the people in most of the rooms I've 474 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,560 Speaker 1: never met and may well never see again. And so 475 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:21,279 Speaker 1: I'm talking to a group of strangers, and so I 476 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,279 Speaker 1: need to be able to read the room. I need 477 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,719 Speaker 1: to be able to read the energy I need. Of course, 478 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,800 Speaker 1: I need to go in and have a plan and awareness, 479 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,680 Speaker 1: and you know, these are the kind of key things 480 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 1: I want to get across. But I need to understand 481 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 1: how to navigate that moment in time with those people, 482 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,840 Speaker 1: with that group of people at that moment in time, 483 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:47,440 Speaker 1: in that room on that day, because my goal, apart 484 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 1: from information and education, my goal is to be able 485 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,239 Speaker 1: to create a moment in time that is for them, 486 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,799 Speaker 1: hopefully informing and inspiring and all of that, but also 487 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,799 Speaker 1: something that they enjoy. People to leave that experience and 488 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:06,399 Speaker 1: go that was good. That was good. Yeah, he's good. 489 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,920 Speaker 1: It was good. I got something from it. I liked it. 490 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,840 Speaker 1: Because apart from the fact that I'm an educator and 491 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:18,520 Speaker 1: a motivator, I've also got to create an experience or 492 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 1: contribute towards creating an experience for people that they want 493 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:26,080 Speaker 1: to be in the middle of. I say to bosses 494 00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:30,120 Speaker 1: all the time, leaders, managers in corporate spaces. I say 495 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:36,240 Speaker 1: to them when I'm standing at their workplace, I say, 496 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:40,440 Speaker 1: do your staff? Does your team like coming here? And 497 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:44,319 Speaker 1: they're like Often they're like, what do you mean? I go, 498 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,920 Speaker 1: do the people that work for you like coming to 499 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:53,319 Speaker 1: this place? And if the answer is no, well, how 500 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,160 Speaker 1: can you fuck batman? You've got some things to figure 501 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 1: out Like that. There are some significant problems that need 502 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,840 Speaker 1: to be a dressed and resolved because if you have 503 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,600 Speaker 1: a work environment or a culture or a place that 504 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:09,239 Speaker 1: you're the people that work for you don't want to 505 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,000 Speaker 1: be in they don't look forward to coming to that place, 506 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:16,400 Speaker 1: they don't enjoy it. Then you have a lot bigger 507 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,600 Speaker 1: problems than the bottom line that you need to address. 508 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,560 Speaker 1: And this is as a leader, as a manager, as 509 00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,680 Speaker 1: whoever you are, as a teacher, as a coach. Being 510 00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:29,800 Speaker 1: able to create experience is being able to interact with people, 511 00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:32,759 Speaker 1: being able to read a room, being able to have 512 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:36,359 Speaker 1: some insight into their thoughts and their feelings and their 513 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 1: reality in real time, and taking all of that into 514 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:45,759 Speaker 1: account as you open your gob, as you open your 515 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,799 Speaker 1: gob and say something that might create a problem or 516 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:54,560 Speaker 1: a solution. This is a kind of intelligence that is becoming, 517 00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:59,000 Speaker 1: I believe, more and more valuable. I think this kind 518 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,920 Speaker 1: of intelligence is an interpersonal superpower. And I've said this before. 519 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 1: It's like, if you can really build connection or poor 520 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,080 Speaker 1: and trust and understanding with people, if you can really 521 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 1: by the way, as I've said a thousand times, you 522 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,160 Speaker 1: don't have to agree with them. Remember you don't have 523 00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,280 Speaker 1: to be like them. There are people who do horrible 524 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 1: shit in the world. I wish they didn't. I wish 525 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,960 Speaker 1: there was no horrible shit in the world. But that 526 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 1: is not the world that you and I live in. 527 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,200 Speaker 1: You and I live in a world with sociopaths and psychopaths. 528 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,720 Speaker 1: You and I live in a world with amazing, generous, kind, 529 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:41,560 Speaker 1: beautiful humans who have a purpose bigger themselves, bigger than themselves. 530 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,200 Speaker 1: You and I live in a huge cross section of 531 00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:51,839 Speaker 1: different people, different personalities, different needs, different motivations. That's the 532 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 1: world that you and I live in. Now. If you 533 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,640 Speaker 1: and I want to be able to function somewhere close 534 00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:01,719 Speaker 1: to optimally around a myriad of different, different people, at 535 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:05,560 Speaker 1: the very least, we should try to understand them because 536 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:10,840 Speaker 1: like them or dislike them, good or bad people. Hopefully 537 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,120 Speaker 1: most people are good. I think most people are good. 538 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:19,160 Speaker 1: But it's in our interest to understand people. I employed 539 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 1: lots of people, about five hundred people over the years. 540 00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:24,760 Speaker 1: Did I like every person? 541 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:25,080 Speaker 2: Like? 542 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:29,600 Speaker 1: Did I really like every person that I employed? If 543 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 1: I'm being honest, you know, like, not necessarily like? I 544 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,839 Speaker 1: definitely didn't like them at times? And did they not 545 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:40,320 Speaker 1: like me? Of course? And do I understand? Of course? 546 00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,960 Speaker 1: Do I expect everyone to like me? I absolutely do not. 547 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:49,440 Speaker 1: In fact, I expect people to dislike me. I expect that, 548 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,480 Speaker 1: do you know why? Because it's statistically inevitable and by 549 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,719 Speaker 1: the way, I will get things wrong. And by the way, 550 00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,920 Speaker 1: I completely understand right, this is the form of interpersonal 551 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:02,360 Speaker 1: and social intelligence. Can completely understand that I'm not for everyone. 552 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:06,719 Speaker 1: I completely understand it. And also, my goal is not 553 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,440 Speaker 1: to make people like me. If my goal is to 554 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:13,080 Speaker 1: make people like me, then that's about my insecurity, my 555 00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,880 Speaker 1: shitty self esteem and my ego. My goal is to 556 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:19,239 Speaker 1: serve people. And yes I want to serve myself in that, 557 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 1: I guess, but understanding that, of course, there will always 558 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:30,320 Speaker 1: be people that intersect with you that for no apparent reason, 559 00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,600 Speaker 1: won't click with you, may not like you at all, 560 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:40,960 Speaker 1: and it might be something that you can't explain. But 561 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,360 Speaker 1: the challenge, the challenge for us is to know that 562 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:48,600 Speaker 1: we are not going to connect with everyone. We are 563 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 1: going to piss some people off. You and me are 564 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 1: going to get things wrong. Also, news flash, sit down, 565 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,120 Speaker 1: get out your fucking pen and paper, write this down, 566 00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:02,080 Speaker 1: underline it. News flash, you and I, me and you. 567 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,879 Speaker 1: I know you're fucking great and I'm great, just look 568 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:06,799 Speaker 1: at us. But you and I are going to be 569 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:11,879 Speaker 1: the problem at times. The problem will be you. Now, 570 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:16,799 Speaker 1: if you're traversing life, thinking that you are almost never 571 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:23,399 Speaker 1: the problem. Well, then you're probably the problem more than 572 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:28,160 Speaker 1: you think you could be the problem a lot. Now, 573 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:32,240 Speaker 1: that's not self loathing. That's not throwing ourselves under the bus. 574 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,480 Speaker 1: That's going you know what, I'm human, I've got flaws, 575 00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:36,719 Speaker 1: I've got bias. I see things the way that I 576 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:41,799 Speaker 1: see them. If I always think I'm right right, if 577 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,920 Speaker 1: I always think I'm right, then I always think everyone 578 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:48,800 Speaker 1: who disagrees with me in the world about anything is wrong. 579 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:54,160 Speaker 1: That's a very precarious moral high horse to climb up onto, 580 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,480 Speaker 1: to perch myself up there like the all knowing, fucking 581 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:04,280 Speaker 1: deity that is me. When I've up until this point 582 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:09,400 Speaker 1: in my life been wrong, probably tens of thousands of times, 583 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:14,880 Speaker 1: of course, So how do I navigate that? Well, I 584 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,279 Speaker 1: know what I think, but I also you might say 585 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,400 Speaker 1: to me, what he doesn't matter. Let's not pick a 586 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:25,080 Speaker 1: topic because people get fucking hysterical and emotional. I think 587 00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:31,560 Speaker 1: a certain way about topic A. However, I'm open to 588 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:35,040 Speaker 1: being wrong because I've been wrong many times, and so therefore, 589 00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:40,080 Speaker 1: unless I have absolute evidence and data and by the way, 590 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:44,240 Speaker 1: somebody telling you something is not evidence or data. Unless 591 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,040 Speaker 1: I've fucking seen it or touched it or measured it. 592 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:51,440 Speaker 1: And you know, unless I have unequivocal evidence or proof 593 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:56,640 Speaker 1: of something, then I assume with almost everything that I 594 00:41:56,719 --> 00:42:00,960 Speaker 1: could be wrong. And I think, by the way, I 595 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,040 Speaker 1: don't assume I'm wrong, but I know that I could 596 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,480 Speaker 1: be wrong. And I think this having certain beliefs and 597 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:11,200 Speaker 1: ideas and values that kind of provide a compass for 598 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:15,480 Speaker 1: your choices and your behavior, an internal sat Nav for 599 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,279 Speaker 1: how you live and who you become and where you 600 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:22,520 Speaker 1: go literally or metaphorically. I think having those beliefs and 601 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:27,160 Speaker 1: those values as kind of internal drivers and compasses, as 602 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:31,600 Speaker 1: I said, are great. But also being open to the 603 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:37,040 Speaker 1: idea that I might be wrong, getting out of the 604 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:42,839 Speaker 1: echo chamber, like it's a specific kind of intelligence and 605 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:47,319 Speaker 1: awareness to know that well, despite the fact that this 606 00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:51,399 Speaker 1: is comfortable for me to think, despite the fact that 607 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,720 Speaker 1: I've thought this for a long time, despite the fact 608 00:42:55,719 --> 00:43:00,440 Speaker 1: that this belief, this idea, this philosophy, this ideology is 609 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:05,239 Speaker 1: intertwined with my sense of self, as much as it 610 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:09,879 Speaker 1: fucking terrifies me, because if it's not true, then who 611 00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:13,280 Speaker 1: am I? As much as it terrifies me, the idea 612 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:17,160 Speaker 1: that this might not be true. I have to acknowledge 613 00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,480 Speaker 1: that it might not be true, and if that's the case, 614 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:26,480 Speaker 1: I will just deal with it. Because also if I 615 00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:31,000 Speaker 1: unequivocally know something, then that makes the need for belief 616 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,320 Speaker 1: and faith redundant because you don't need faith now because 617 00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:37,560 Speaker 1: you have evidence, you have data. And faith is literally 618 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:43,200 Speaker 1: or belief is literally believing in something that you can't prove, 619 00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,359 Speaker 1: because if you could prove it unequivocally, then you would 620 00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:53,640 Speaker 1: just have science or data or knowledge or information. I 621 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:57,040 Speaker 1: feel like I've banged on a lot, but I just 622 00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:04,640 Speaker 1: love this. I love this intelligence conversation. You know, it's 623 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:10,560 Speaker 1: my training partner who I've spoken about probably fifty times 624 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:14,360 Speaker 1: over the years on the podcast. Mark his name is 625 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,839 Speaker 1: I call him the Crab. His actual name is Mark. 626 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:24,080 Speaker 1: And Mark is you know, just somebody who I think 627 00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,120 Speaker 1: he I don't know what you left school year ten 628 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:32,000 Speaker 1: or eleven, and certainly even academically, he's not stupid at all. 629 00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:36,200 Speaker 1: He's quite smart. But he has a kind of intelligence. 630 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,680 Speaker 1: He has an ability to solve problems and make things 631 00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:43,399 Speaker 1: and fix things, and and just he has a kind 632 00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:48,719 Speaker 1: of intelligence that I do not have. And he's very 633 00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:52,160 Speaker 1: laid back, he's very informal he's like me a little bit. 634 00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,360 Speaker 1: But when I look at him and him and I 635 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:59,080 Speaker 1: are a good friends, and I have I guess a 636 00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:03,919 Speaker 1: certain capacity for certain things and he has for other things. 637 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:10,959 Speaker 1: And between us, what's interesting is there's a lot of divergence, 638 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 1: not convergence. We're quite different in terms of our skills 639 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:19,920 Speaker 1: and our abilities and our kinds of intelligence, like the 640 00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,920 Speaker 1: kind of social and emotional intelligence that I have, the 641 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:28,320 Speaker 1: interpersonal intelligence that I have. Not that he is socially stupid, 642 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:32,200 Speaker 1: it's not at all. But he will often ask me 643 00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,080 Speaker 1: something in that space, how do I go about this? 644 00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:39,520 Speaker 1: How do I And then on the other side, he's 645 00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:43,480 Speaker 1: got a kind of a practical intelligence that I do 646 00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:48,880 Speaker 1: not have. You know, there's just things that I don't 647 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,919 Speaker 1: know how to solve certain problems. I'll run it by him. 648 00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:56,040 Speaker 1: He will come up with four potential solutions in thirty 649 00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,640 Speaker 1: seconds that I couldn't come up with one in thirty hours. 650 00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:05,400 Speaker 1: So it is indeed a multitude of things. It is 651 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,640 Speaker 1: a spectrum intelligence. It's not one thing, it's many things. 652 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,000 Speaker 1: So I wonder what your kind of intelligence is. I wonder, 653 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,920 Speaker 1: I want. I'm sure it's more than one thing, but 654 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:20,480 Speaker 1: I'm interested in how smart you are and in what 655 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,080 Speaker 1: way see you next time.