1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: I'll get a gang. Hope your bloody terrific. So I 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:08,840 Speaker 1: want to talk about intelligence today, and I want to 3 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: for a range of reasons. One, I've always been fascinated 4 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 1: with the idea of being smart, and I think because 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: I never really felt smart, like I never really felt 6 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: like an athlete, so I tried to become one. I'd 7 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: never had amazing genetics, so I tried to optimize my genetics, 8 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:36,560 Speaker 1: and I rightly or wrongly through my childhood and teen years. 9 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,599 Speaker 1: But I will admit also though I wasn't a very 10 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: studious student. I didn't apply myself brilliantly, but I but 11 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 1: I was definitely around other people who were, from an 12 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 1: academic point of view, perhaps more adapted to that, more 13 00:00:54,360 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 1: suited to that, more natural students than MOI. But there 14 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: were sometimes when I realized I had a kind of 15 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: a kind of intelligence where I could navigate situations, solve problems, 16 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: do things, understand things, deal with things that some of 17 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: my academically brilliant friends couldn't. So I think I understood 18 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:34,959 Speaker 1: from an early age, or I became curious from an 19 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:41,200 Speaker 1: early age about what intelligence might be beyond academia, what 20 00:01:41,319 --> 00:01:44,839 Speaker 1: intelligence could be, or maybe what it is beyond IQ 21 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: and some number, some arbitrary number that we might score 22 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 1: answering some arbitrary, very familiar, very similar questions, you know, 23 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: across that kind of IQ testings spectrum. And so for me, 24 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: intelligence over the last ten to twenty years, I've really 25 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: come to understand that intelligence is not a thing, but 26 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: rather a range of things. It's many things. And we 27 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 1: know some people who are socially smart but academically not 28 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: so smart, or creatively brilliant but not you know, can't 29 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: add three numbers. And some people who have got brilliant 30 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: incredible timing and humor and storytelling capacity, but they can't 31 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: cook a piece of toast. And in some situations or 32 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 1: some rooms, they're brilliant. In other situations or rooms, they're 33 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: not so brilliant. And I think that's all of us, 34 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: all of the time. So there was a dude called 35 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: Howard Gardner. I should have looked up when, but I 36 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: think it was the early eighties. He developed a theory 37 00:02:55,639 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 1: called the theory of multiple intelligences. Now he's probably should 38 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: have done more research, but I know he is or 39 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: was a professor at Harvard. He's a psychologist, and he 40 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:15,639 Speaker 1: kind of proposed that intelligence was not a single, fixed 41 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: ability to be measured by traditional IQ tests, but rather 42 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: intelligence was a range of things. It comprised a variety 43 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: of distinct types of intelligence that reflected different capacities to 44 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: interact with the world. And so he wrote a book 45 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: one hundred years ago, now I think it was about 46 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 1: forty years ago, early eighties, called Frames of Mind, The 47 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: Theories of Multiple Intelligences. And while this, I mean there 48 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,920 Speaker 1: was four decades ago, so it's been expanded and extrapolated, 49 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: and different people have thrown there to bob'sworth, as Mary 50 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: Harper says, and I've even got one addition to his 51 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: kind of proposal or his his kind of model. But 52 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 1: I think this is a good way to open the 53 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 1: door because I want to talk, as you would have 54 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: seen by the title of today's episode, I want to 55 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: talk about interpersonal intelligence because I think that on a practical, functional, 56 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 1: operational level, out in the real world, as a human 57 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:29,919 Speaker 1: being interacting with other human beings, which is most of 58 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 1: us most of the time, not all of us all 59 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: of the time, but most of us do a lot 60 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:39,720 Speaker 1: of you know, interacting, connecting, connecting, conversing, problem solving, working 61 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:43,840 Speaker 1: alongside being team members with and so on other humans, 62 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: and our ability to be able to do that and 63 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: interact and connect and solve problems and all of those 64 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:54,919 Speaker 1: things in real time with other humans. That capacity falls 65 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: under the banner of interpersonal intelligence. How well we can 66 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 1: do that, how well we can inter act with, intersect with, 67 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 1: understand meet the needs of communicate effectively with be understood 68 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:16,160 Speaker 1: by others. So he recognized eight core intelligencers. One of them, 69 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: I'm a bit oh, yeah, they are. I think there's 70 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: a lot more, but I think this is a nice start. 71 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: So his first one was linguistic intelligence, which is essentially 72 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: sensitivity just spoken and written language, the ability to learn 73 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: new languages, and our capacity to be able to use 74 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,480 Speaker 1: language well to express ourselves, he says quite clunkily, which 75 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 1: is ironic for that sentence, But to be able to 76 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,919 Speaker 1: articulate ourselves in a way, express ourselves in a way 77 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: that others understand. But part of that also is understanding. 78 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 1: Listen to this sentence, understanding how they understand. As I've 79 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: said before, thinking about thinking, so that whole kind of 80 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: understanding others, which we'll get to. So linguistic intelligence, how 81 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: well we can frame things, express things, tell stories, solve 82 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: problems in conversation, sit in a meeting, connect with others 83 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: in conversation, understand be understood, and all of that that 84 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: comes broadly in the space of linguistic intelligence, logical mathematical intelligence. 85 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 1: To this is more in the I guess, the traditional 86 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:38,719 Speaker 1: IQ space, which is our ability to think logically, to 87 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 1: analyze problems, to recognize problems, to analyze problems, to come 88 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 1: up with potential solutions and strategies, and all of those 89 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: things that I talk about a lot timelines. Accountability to 90 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: understand abstract concepts, you know, like mathematics and scientific reasoning, 91 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: and you know people generally, people with high levels of 92 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: this often fall into you know, the sciences, mathematics, physics, engineers, 93 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 1: you know, people like that. He his third kind of 94 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: intelligence in his list of eight is musical intelligence, whereas 95 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:27,119 Speaker 1: I I think I would replace this one. I would 96 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: replace this one with creative intelligence, which is just more 97 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 1: broad like I think for me, whether it's through music, 98 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: whether it's through art, whether it's through singing, whether it's 99 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 1: through coming up with an idea to build something and 100 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: then transferring that theoretical something in our head to a 101 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: real world something. It could be to design a beautiful 102 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: garden at the front of your house. It could be 103 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 1: it could be to build a bridge literal brick doesn't matter, 104 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: but anything where that creative intelligence is where we can 105 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: invent something in our mind in inverted commas, conceptualize it, 106 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: visualize it, dream it up, and then extract that from 107 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 1: our mind being something that doesn't exist in the world, 108 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 1: and pushing it out into the world and transferring that 109 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: theoretical potential something into a real world, actual something for 110 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 1: other people to experience and interact with and enjoy it. 111 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: And of course, you know, musicians, composes, artists of all kinds, architects, 112 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 1: you know, there are a myriad of people who fall 113 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 1: into this space. His next one is called bodily or 114 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:52,959 Speaker 1: kinesthetic intelligence. And so we see this with often with 115 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 1: people who are physical like they are very you know, 116 00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: so dancers and athletes and even people like our friend 117 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 1: doctor Alex who's been on the show a bunch who's 118 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: a neurosurgeon. So surgeons, neurosurgeons people like that who can 119 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:16,959 Speaker 1: control their body really well, like they have an ability 120 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: to be able to move their body in a way 121 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: to execute certain physical requirements, be they athletic, or be 122 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: that something less gross motor control and more kind of 123 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:37,160 Speaker 1: very specifically fine mode of control, like a surgeon. But 124 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: it's that body awareness, that body control, that ability to 125 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 1: be able to even to kick a football, or to 126 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: throw a netball or a basketball, or throw a javelin 127 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: or make an incision with a scalpel in a brain 128 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: and do what's required. That's what we would call bodily 129 00:09:55,080 --> 00:10:03,080 Speaker 1: or kinesthetic intelligence. Spatial intelligence. So somebody that I know 130 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 1: who's got a high level of spatial intelligence, and it's 131 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: almost like where we are, where we are, and where 132 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 1: things are in three dimensional space. So I trained to 133 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 1: an elite athlete for a very long time, five time Olympian, 134 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: five time world champion, Jackie Cooper aerial ski jumper. So 135 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: somebody like her who would have to hurdle down a 136 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: ramp at eighty kilometers an hour, jump off the ramp 137 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 1: and then twist and contort and spin and rotate upside down, 138 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: inside out, back the front, and then know where she 139 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: was so that she could then keep moving forward and 140 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:50,320 Speaker 1: then land beat together ish in an upright position and 141 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: then complete the movement and win a gold medal. That ability, 142 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: that spatial awareness, that's spatial intelligence. It can be trained 143 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 1: to an extent. Of course, we can improve spatial awareness 144 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: through training and our ability to do all of those things. 145 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 1: But people like you know, pilots also navigators in planes 146 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: need to be able to visualize and have that capacity 147 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 1: in real time to know where they are, even when 148 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:27,960 Speaker 1: they're upside down. So that's a kind of I don't 149 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,719 Speaker 1: think I have that pretty sure. If I jumped off 150 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: the ski, rampire would I would land on my head. 151 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: That would be my first and last attempt. So the 152 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: one that I'm going to talk about today mostly just 153 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:47,080 Speaker 1: because it interests me and I think this kind of 154 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 1: intelligence is kind of a personal person superpower. I'll talk 155 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,719 Speaker 1: about it last. But on his list, it's number six 156 00:11:55,760 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 1: into personal intelligence. Number seven is intrapersonal intelligence. This is 157 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:06,680 Speaker 1: really falls in the kind of self awareness. Space is 158 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 1: understanding you, is understanding your thoughts and feelings. You're like, 159 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,680 Speaker 1: what drives you, why you think the way that you do, 160 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:22,200 Speaker 1: Your ability to navigate life, and to be aware of 161 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 1: the space between the objective reality around you and the 162 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: subjective reality in you. That's that. So that intro versus 163 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: interpersonal personal person intro within you. So you know and 164 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 1: I think because my PhD is in this space of understanding, 165 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,840 Speaker 1: understanding myself, understanding others, and how I am for others, 166 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: but that whole kind of deep dive into self awareness. 167 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 1: I think the reflection and the introspection that I've been 168 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 1: through over the last five years of study in this 169 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 1: space has really helped me understand me better, to understand 170 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 1: me better, but also then to understand me for others better. 171 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 1: And that has helped me do what I'm doing right now, 172 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 1: which is sit in a room with no audience, with 173 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 1: no feedback, with no real stimulus, and to be able 174 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:23,199 Speaker 1: to keep a conversation going and recognize in real time, 175 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: you know, my own nerves, my own ego, my own 176 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 1: propensity to overtalk my you know, all the bullshit that 177 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 1: is me, the good stuff and the bad stuff. But 178 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 1: to be able to understand myself and when I can, 179 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 1: when I can understand myself better, you know, self awareness, 180 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: self reflection, then I can regulate myself better. And the 181 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 1: last kind of last kind of intelligence that old Howard 182 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 1: Gardener talks about is naturalistic intelligence, which is kind of 183 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,920 Speaker 1: sensitivity to nature and to be able to understand the 184 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:12,199 Speaker 1: relationship between us and the planet us and you know, nature, ecology, flora, fauna, 185 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:18,200 Speaker 1: and so people who are in the kind of kind 186 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 1: of the biologist, space, conservationists, farmers, people who work on 187 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 1: and with the earth and land and nature and plants 188 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 1: and agriculture and all of that. Those kinds of people 189 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 1: who were great at that and suited to that. You 190 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: would say they had potentially high naturalistic intelligence. But the 191 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 1: one that I want to dive into, let me just 192 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: finish also just quickly. So in this was quite groundbreaking 193 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 1: when he wrote his book. You know, they are of 194 00:14:53,360 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 1: multiple intelligences in the early eighties because while you know, 195 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,840 Speaker 1: even the Stoics were talking two thousand and three thousand 196 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 1: years ago about you know, what intelligence was and understanding 197 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 1: the self and all of those, but for a very 198 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:15,480 Speaker 1: long time in research and academia, intelligence was really looked 199 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: upon one dimensionally and researched one dimensionally. You want to 200 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,120 Speaker 1: know how intelligent someone is, they do this particular test 201 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 1: and then we go boom, you're that intelligent. But we 202 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,840 Speaker 1: now know through you know, a range of things, and 203 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 1: we've evolved and we've adapted, and we've got more awareness 204 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 1: and more understanding. We know that that you know, there 205 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 1: are some people who are academically challenged. But like, for example, 206 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 1: I read recently and I posted recently, I think I'm 207 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 1: going to fuck this up a little bit. But it's 208 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 1: a very high percentage of millionaires and therefore billionaires, but 209 00:15:55,400 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 1: a very disproportionately high percentage of people who are super 210 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 1: successful in business are dyslexic. And you think, wow, people 211 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 1: who really struggled. So obviously, most dyslexic people who can't 212 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 1: read well and really struggle to understand the words on 213 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 1: the page in front of them, an extraordinarily a disproportionately 214 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 1: hypercentage of them do well in life. And I was 215 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 1: talking with this about this with a friend of mine, Christian, 216 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 1: who I trained with the gym alongside the crab, and 217 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 1: his dyslexic, and he's also he's also funny, he can 218 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: also read the room. He's also creative. He's also really 219 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 1: good at solving problems. And our kind of theory together 220 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 1: was that because he lived in a world where he 221 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: often couldn't understand what everyone around him understood, I mean everyone, 222 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 1: would you know, Open to chapter four and read fucking 223 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: page one, two three of the Web of Life, the 224 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,960 Speaker 1: biology book we had in year eight nine and ten 225 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 1: or whatever it was. Everyone's reading it going all right, 226 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 1: so it sells a single this and that, and he 227 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: was looking at it as just a page full of 228 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 1: fucking horror glyphics and mumbo jumbo hieroglyphics whatever. You can't 229 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,119 Speaker 1: understand it, you get my point. And so when you 230 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: live in a world where there's a lot going on 231 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 1: that you can't naturally understand, then you need to figure 232 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:32,560 Speaker 1: out how to navigate that world with your own kind 233 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:36,639 Speaker 1: of I guess language, and with your own strategies. And 234 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: that requires a specific kind of intelligence and a real 235 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,679 Speaker 1: ability to be able to be able to problem solve 236 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: in real time. And so I'm sure there's research on this. 237 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:55,120 Speaker 1: Why the bit between you know, people who are people 238 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 1: who have dyslexia and why they are disproportionately successful in business, 239 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 1: But I would not be surprised if there was a 240 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:08,399 Speaker 1: correlation between that and their ability to solve problems, to 241 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:12,400 Speaker 1: think outside the box, to be creative. Because they had 242 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 1: to be creative. They couldn't do things typically, they couldn't 243 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 1: do things traditionally, they couldn't do things the way that 244 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 1: their classmates did things. And also because it's not something 245 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 1: that people really wanted known or to make public, or 246 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,719 Speaker 1: you know, people would keep it a secret and they 247 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,400 Speaker 1: would not tell people quite often, or they would tell 248 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 1: limited people because they didn't want to be judged or 249 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 1: criticized or marginalized or bullied or all of those things. 250 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 1: And so they developed this capacity to be able to 251 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 1: navigate the world looking like the rest of the group, 252 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 1: while on some level not really being like the rest 253 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 1: of the group in the sense that they didn't have 254 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:02,960 Speaker 1: a certain skill or capacity that their friends or colleagues 255 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:10,640 Speaker 1: or classmates did anyway, So but just quickly when when 256 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:16,640 Speaker 1: Old Howard was developing this, he also made clear that 257 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 1: or he suggested that there was no real hierarchy of intelligence, 258 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:30,840 Speaker 1: that they were all equal in a sense. And I 259 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:35,760 Speaker 1: understand what he's saying with that, but also I think 260 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,680 Speaker 1: we would have to acknowledge that different kinds of intelligence 261 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,360 Speaker 1: would be more or less important, more or less valued 262 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 1: in different contexts and different cultures, depending on where we're 263 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,640 Speaker 1: at and what we're doing. If you're living on an island, 264 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 1: then interpersonal living on an island by yourself and interpersonal 265 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 1: intelligence is probably not high on the list of things 266 00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 1: that you need, But being able to solve problems might 267 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:07,160 Speaker 1: be really fucking important. So his thinking was that they are. 268 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,080 Speaker 1: They're all different, kind of connected, but all different, and 269 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:16,919 Speaker 1: none is more valuable than the other. And I think 270 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 1: that is generally true, but specifically in certain instances, cases, environments, context, cultures, 271 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 1: of course, organizations than different kinds of intelligence are going 272 00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:35,919 Speaker 1: to be held in higher esteem, of course, and you know, 273 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 1: more valuable in certain contexts. So let's I just want 274 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,879 Speaker 1: to share with you just some really practical examples of 275 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 1: it's personal intelligence. So, in general terms, it's the ability 276 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 1: to understand, to interact and communicate effectively with other people. 277 00:20:55,920 --> 00:21:00,720 Speaker 1: I'll say it again, to understand, to interact and communicate effectively, 278 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 1: build rapport, build understanding, build awareness, build respect, work with others. 279 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: It involves recognizing and interpreting other people's emotions, motivations, desires, 280 00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:17,480 Speaker 1: and intentions and responding in ways that build connection, collaboration, 281 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:23,200 Speaker 1: and mutual understanding. So people with this kind of intelligence, 282 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: you know, this high level interpersonal intelligence, tend to excel 283 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 1: in social settings. So in other words, and by social 284 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:37,680 Speaker 1: I don't mean at parties, I mean, although they're probably 285 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 1: crush parties, I just mean any environment, any situation setting 286 00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:46,439 Speaker 1: where there are other people, so you know which is 287 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 1: going to make them good at leadership and teamwork, and 288 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 1: like I've said many times, resolving conflict. 289 00:21:52,240 --> 00:22:02,600 Speaker 2: And building connection and building strong, respectful personal and professional relationships. 290 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,680 Speaker 1: So the six kind of characteristics that i'll mate identifies 291 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:14,479 Speaker 1: as important or foundational too. And none of these are 292 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,320 Speaker 1: going to blow your weight, but I'll just quickly run 293 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 1: through them. So empathy, understanding how others feel, and caring 294 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:26,960 Speaker 1: could be good effective communication, conveying thoughts, ideas and emotions 295 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:31,240 Speaker 1: clearly and listening actively, being able to resolve conflict of course, 296 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:37,119 Speaker 1: teamwork of course, social awareness of course, and our ability 297 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:43,399 Speaker 1: to influence others in an ethical way, not in an 298 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 1: a moral kind of subversive way. So I wanted to 299 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 1: share just some really fundamental thoughts and examples of interpersonal 300 00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:01,159 Speaker 1: intelligence for what I do and for the people that 301 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,800 Speaker 1: I work with, which is a lot of corporates. I 302 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:08,359 Speaker 1: work with, some athletes, I work with a range of 303 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 1: people across a range of settings, but virtually everybody that 304 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,240 Speaker 1: I know, I think everybody that I know, but maybe 305 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:20,399 Speaker 1: somebody doesn't come under this ban. But in terms of 306 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,439 Speaker 1: who springs to mind, everybody that I know needs to 307 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 1: be able to build rapport and trust and respect and 308 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 1: understanding and communication with other people at some stage. And 309 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 1: so this falls in the context of interpersonal intelligence. So 310 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:43,960 Speaker 1: for example, knowing when to talk and when not to talk. 311 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:50,520 Speaker 1: So this is something that I was probably an over 312 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 1: talker when sound ironic coming from a man who's just 313 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:58,760 Speaker 1: talking NonStop now, but in one on one situations or 314 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,800 Speaker 1: in group situation maybe when I was younger, I think 315 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: I was an overtalker, not a chronic over talker, but 316 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 1: probably at times spoke more than I needed to. And 317 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 1: if you are in especially if you're in a one 318 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: on one conversation and you're over talking, then you're under listening. 319 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:24,879 Speaker 1: And if you are over talking, you are probably creating 320 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 1: more disconnection than you are connection. And if you're over talking, 321 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,439 Speaker 1: then you might be creating more problems and solutions. So 322 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:42,199 Speaker 1: being not only knowing when to talk to somebody, but 323 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,879 Speaker 1: also how to talk how to talk to them, like 324 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 1: how do I approach this conversation or this interaction in 325 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:54,040 Speaker 1: a way with this particular person who isn't like me 326 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,840 Speaker 1: and also isn't like that other person over there or 327 00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,880 Speaker 1: the other person over the other side of the room 328 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 1: with this person about this issue that I wanted to 329 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 1: discuss or explore or resolve or whatever. When is a 330 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:11,200 Speaker 1: good time to talk to them, How do I talk 331 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 1: to them? And also perhaps in what, sometimes even where 332 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:24,199 Speaker 1: should I talk to them. Many times, when I had 333 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,280 Speaker 1: a challenge, let's say, a challenge or an issue or 334 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,719 Speaker 1: a problem with one of my staff members. Remember I 335 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 1: owned gyms, and so most of the work was done 336 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 1: most of the most all of the training was done 337 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 1: on the gym floor, of course, and most of the 338 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 1: work was done out of an office and on a 339 00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 1: gym floor. So if I would see somebody doing one 340 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,159 Speaker 1: of my team doing something that I didn't want or 341 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 1: that I didn't approve of, or I thought was potentially problematic, 342 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 1: now depending on what it was. Of course, if I 343 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 1: thought someone was going to injure someone in the next 344 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 1: ten seconds, I would just going intervene. And if they 345 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 1: got their feelings hurt, bad luck, because I'm more interested 346 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,520 Speaker 1: in a client not getting hurt than someone's feelings emotions 347 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:12,880 Speaker 1: being fucking hurt for seven seconds, right, But in general terms, 348 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: when I would need to have a talk to one 349 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:20,879 Speaker 1: of my team about something that I thought, it depends 350 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 1: of course, maybe I was going to tell them they 351 00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 1: were doing great. But if I was going to tell 352 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 1: them that there's something I needed them to think about 353 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 1: or change, I would be really careful about how I 354 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:36,159 Speaker 1: did that. I would be really mindful about the energy 355 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,560 Speaker 1: that I brought into that conversation. I would be really 356 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 1: mindful of the language and the tone that I used. 357 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:48,159 Speaker 1: I would be really mindful of what is it like 358 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:52,119 Speaker 1: being around me, because I can be intimidating, and I 359 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,359 Speaker 1: don't want to intimidate this person. I don't want to 360 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,680 Speaker 1: upset them. I just want to fix this thing or 361 00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,439 Speaker 1: I want to resolve this. I want to have a 362 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,159 Speaker 1: conversation about this, and I want to do it in 363 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 1: a way that works for them and works for me, 364 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:09,199 Speaker 1: so that when we finish this interaction, we've made some 365 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: real progress and they're fine, They're somewhere between fine and happy, 366 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 1: and I've moved closer to or we've moved closer to 367 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 1: solving a problem. So if somebody would do something on 368 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,240 Speaker 1: the gym floor or there was something happening that I 369 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 1: didn't love, I would virtually never I would never have 370 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 1: this conversation in front of somebody else, like because that 371 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 1: would be even if what I had to say was 372 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: relevant and right and pertinent and potentially going to help 373 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:47,359 Speaker 1: them as an exercise specialist or an exercise professional, even 374 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,639 Speaker 1: if what I had to say was one hundred percent accurate, 375 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:54,000 Speaker 1: relevant and right, giving that information in the wrong setting, 376 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,280 Speaker 1: in the wrong way, at the wrong time is a 377 00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 1: fucking catastrophe. That is what interpersonal intelligence is about. That 378 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 1: it is about knowing when, what, and how to connect 379 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 1: with people, to talk to people. It's about it's about understanding, like, 380 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 1: for example, with that conversation or any conversation, understanding their 381 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,199 Speaker 1: reality in the moment. Remember that old chestnut that I 382 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 1: keep wheeling out. As you know, theory of mind is 383 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: your ability to understand somebody else's thoughts and feelings and 384 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:34,520 Speaker 1: subjective experience as much as you can in the moment, 385 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:39,320 Speaker 1: realizing that only you think like you and what's in 386 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: your head. What is your intention? What is your goal? 387 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:48,680 Speaker 1: Might not necessarily be anything close to their fucking version 388 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 1: of that interaction. Your intention may well not be their experience. 389 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 1: Your intention, I'm assuming, would be good, it would be positive. 390 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 1: It would be to fix something, to improve something, to 391 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:05,920 Speaker 1: help someone, to enlighten someone, to help them become better. 392 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 1: But you and I know this is no revelation. I'm 393 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 1: not pulling back some mysterious curtain now. And I tell 394 00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: you that how many times have your good intentions not 395 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 1: had a good outcome? Or how many times have you 396 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 1: shared with somebody something that is unequivocally true, but nonetheless 397 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 1: it is not well received at all? And the outcome 398 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:36,240 Speaker 1: of that interaction, despite your good intention, despite the validity 399 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 1: of the information being shared, actually makes things worse. So 400 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,400 Speaker 1: we need timing, we need awareness, We need to know 401 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 1: when and how to speak to people. I spoke recently 402 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 1: about the fact that we all speak our own language. Now, 403 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 1: of course that we all speak English, right, but if we, 404 00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 1: for example, if we reframe English from a language to 405 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,720 Speaker 1: a tool, it's a tool that we use. And we 406 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 1: all have the same essentially a version of the same vocabulary. 407 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: And even though we all have a similar or same vocabulary, 408 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 1: we don't all speak the same. We don't all speak 409 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 1: the same. We have a different language. And the way 410 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,479 Speaker 1: that we speak, in inverted commons is the way that 411 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:26,240 Speaker 1: we think. So the way that I speak is interpreted 412 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 1: by some people as funny and amusing, by some people 413 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:34,080 Speaker 1: as rude and abrasive by some people, as offensive by 414 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:39,120 Speaker 1: some people, as enlightening and illuminating by some people as educational. 415 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:45,280 Speaker 1: Now all of these disparate, different varied experiences of the 416 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:52,120 Speaker 1: same person, me speaking the same way. I know that 417 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:58,120 Speaker 1: that is going to happen. And so when I begin 418 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 1: to talk to a group that two or three or 419 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:07,440 Speaker 1: two or three thousand, I'm absolutely positive that nobody in 420 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:10,240 Speaker 1: front of me is having an identical experience of me 421 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 1: as somebody else in the group. There might be similar, 422 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 1: there might be some overlap, but that is that kind 423 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,120 Speaker 1: of awareness, that kind of intelligence, that kind of knowing, 424 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: that kind of real time kind of navigation of what 425 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,600 Speaker 1: is in front of me, That is high level into 426 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 1: personal intelligence. I'm not saying I have high level, but 427 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:39,360 Speaker 1: that is an example of it. Being able to read 428 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: the room, you know, being able to I told you 429 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:46,880 Speaker 1: a story recently about a gig I did with hundreds 430 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,800 Speaker 1: and hundred seven or eight hundred people, a mental health 431 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 1: workshop for the general public, and a young lady in 432 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,080 Speaker 1: the front row who was amazing. By the way, her 433 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,400 Speaker 1: name was Mail I think her name was mal I remember, 434 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 1: and she had an intellectual handicap, but she was fucking 435 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 1: fantastic and nalarious and gorgeous, and she kept shouting out 436 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:10,960 Speaker 1: while I was doing different things, while I was doing 437 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:15,920 Speaker 1: my presentation. It's not really a presentation. It's just a talk, 438 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 1: isn't it. But here's the thing, right, So in that moment, 439 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,880 Speaker 1: I've got hundreds of people there to listen to me 440 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 1: sitting down, and I've got to talk for an hour 441 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:28,320 Speaker 1: and a quarter about an hour and a quarter maybe 442 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,160 Speaker 1: it went a bit longer. And there's and I've got 443 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 1: seven or eight hundred different people with different personalities and 444 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:37,640 Speaker 1: backgrounds and needs and expectations and wants in front of me. 445 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 1: I've got this information that I want to share. I've 446 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 1: got this kind of conversational journey that I want to 447 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,600 Speaker 1: take people on. And I did not expect to have 448 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:53,160 Speaker 1: Mel in the front road joining in the process, but 449 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,160 Speaker 1: I did. I did have her, And so then the 450 00:32:56,280 --> 00:33:00,280 Speaker 1: challenge is, well, how do I do this? How do 451 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:02,440 Speaker 1: I do this in real time? And how do I 452 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:06,080 Speaker 1: and so we just need to be able to problem 453 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:13,560 Speaker 1: solve like with other people with different persons interpersonal intelligence. 454 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 1: And I don't know how well I did, but I 455 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:20,560 Speaker 1: think I did okay. And so I thought, well, the 456 00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:24,400 Speaker 1: better or worse. Mel's involved, and so essentially it was 457 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:29,120 Speaker 1: a three way kind of exchange between Mel and me 458 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 1: and everyone else in the room. And the feedback that 459 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 1: I got was really positive, which was really nice. But 460 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:42,040 Speaker 1: being able to being able to be in an unpredictable, uncertain, 461 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:48,080 Speaker 1: unknown dynamic where you know when you step on stage 462 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,280 Speaker 1: as a speaker, and most of you won't do this, 463 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:54,800 Speaker 1: but it could be even just stepping in into a 464 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,160 Speaker 1: meeting room where you're talking, but when you step on 465 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 1: stage as a speaker, you don't know the people in 466 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,760 Speaker 1: the room. Generally, most of the audiences I talk to 467 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:08,840 Speaker 1: in the real world, face to face, three dimensional live gigs, 468 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:11,439 Speaker 1: most of the people in most of the rooms I've 469 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,520 Speaker 1: never met and may well never see again. And so 470 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:21,239 Speaker 1: I'm talking to a group of strangers, and so I 471 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,279 Speaker 1: need to be able to read the room. I need 472 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,719 Speaker 1: to be able to read the energy I need. Of course, 473 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:27,720 Speaker 1: I need to go in and have a plan and awareness, 474 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,720 Speaker 1: and you know, these are the kind of key things 475 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 1: I want to get across. But I need to understand 476 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 1: how to navigate that moment in time with those people, 477 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,840 Speaker 1: with that group of people, at that moment in time, 478 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:47,400 Speaker 1: in that room on that day because my goal, apart 479 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:51,600 Speaker 1: from information and education, my goal is to be able 480 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,200 Speaker 1: to create a moment in time that is for them, 481 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,840 Speaker 1: hopefully informing and inspiring and all of that, but also 482 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,000 Speaker 1: something that they enjoy. I want people to leave that 483 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 1: experience and go that was good. That was good. Yeah, 484 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,719 Speaker 1: he's good. It was good. I got something from it. 485 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,000 Speaker 1: I liked it. Because apart from the fact that I'm 486 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:16,480 Speaker 1: an educator and a motivator, I've also got to create 487 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:21,480 Speaker 1: an experience or contribute towards creating an experience for people 488 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,200 Speaker 1: that they want to be in the middle of. I 489 00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 1: say to bosses all the time, leaders, managers in corporate spaces. 490 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:35,200 Speaker 1: I say to them when I'm standing at their workplace, 491 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:39,479 Speaker 1: I say, do your staff? Does your team like coming here? 492 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,120 Speaker 1: And they're like Often they're like, what do you mean? 493 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,920 Speaker 1: I go, do the people that work for you like 494 00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:52,280 Speaker 1: coming to this place? And if the answer is no, well, 495 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,799 Speaker 1: how can you fuck batman? You've got some things to 496 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,400 Speaker 1: figure out Like that. There are some significant problems that 497 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,600 Speaker 1: need to be a reed and resolved, because if you 498 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,360 Speaker 1: have a work environment or a culture or a place 499 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:09,120 Speaker 1: that you're the people that work for you don't want 500 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,360 Speaker 1: to be in they don't look forward to coming to 501 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:15,840 Speaker 1: that place, they don't enjoy it. Then you have a 502 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:19,040 Speaker 1: lot bigger problems than the bottom line that you need 503 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,240 Speaker 1: to address. And this is as a leader, as a manager, 504 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,880 Speaker 1: as whoever you are, as a teacher, as a coach. 505 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:29,200 Speaker 1: Being able to create experience is being able to interact 506 00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,280 Speaker 1: with people, being able to read a room, being able 507 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,960 Speaker 1: to have some insight into their thoughts and their feelings 508 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:39,920 Speaker 1: and their reality in real time, and taking all of 509 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:44,560 Speaker 1: that into account as you open your gob, as you 510 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:48,960 Speaker 1: open your gob and say something that might create a 511 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:53,600 Speaker 1: problem or a solution. This is a kind of intelligence 512 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:58,120 Speaker 1: that is becoming, I believe, more and more valuable. I 513 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:01,799 Speaker 1: think this kind of intelligence is an interpersonal superpower. And 514 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:05,720 Speaker 1: I've said this before. It's like, if you can really 515 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,840 Speaker 1: build connection or poor and trust and understanding with people, 516 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,120 Speaker 1: if you can really by the way, as I've said 517 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,600 Speaker 1: a thousand times, you don't have to agree with them. 518 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,920 Speaker 1: Remember you don't have to be like them. There are 519 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,720 Speaker 1: people who do horrible shit in the world. I wish 520 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:24,040 Speaker 1: they didn't. I wish there was no horrible shit in 521 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,399 Speaker 1: the world. But that is not the world that you 522 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,920 Speaker 1: and I live in. You and I live in a 523 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 1: world with sociopaths and psychopaths. You and I live in 524 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:38,719 Speaker 1: a world with amazing, generous, kind, beautiful humans who have 525 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:42,319 Speaker 1: a purpose bigger themselves, bigger than themselves. You and I 526 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:48,600 Speaker 1: live in a huge cross section of different people, different personalities, 527 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:52,680 Speaker 1: different needs, different motivations. That's the world that you and 528 00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 1: I live in. Now. If you and I want to 529 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:59,080 Speaker 1: be able to function somewhere close to optimally around a 530 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,880 Speaker 1: myriad of different, diferent people, at the very least, we 531 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:07,640 Speaker 1: should try to understand them because like them or dislike them, 532 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:11,839 Speaker 1: good or bad people. Hopefully most people are good. I 533 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:15,280 Speaker 1: think most people are good. But it's in our interest 534 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:20,640 Speaker 1: to understand people. I employed lots of people, about five 535 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:25,080 Speaker 1: hundred people over the years. Did I like every person? Like? 536 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:29,600 Speaker 1: Did I really like every person that I employed? If 537 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 1: I'm being honest, you know, like, not necessarily like? I 538 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,839 Speaker 1: definitely didn't like them at times? And did they not 539 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:40,279 Speaker 1: like me? Of course? And do I understand? Of course? 540 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,960 Speaker 1: Do I expect everyone to like me? I absolutely do not. 541 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:49,400 Speaker 1: In fact, I expect people to dislike me. I expect that, 542 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,480 Speaker 1: Do you know why? Because it's statistically inevitable, and by 543 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,680 Speaker 1: the way, I will get things wrong. And by the way, 544 00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,920 Speaker 1: I completely understand right, this is a form of interpersonal 545 00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:02,320 Speaker 1: and social intelligence. Can completely understand that I'm not for everyone. 546 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:06,680 Speaker 1: I completely understand it. And also, my goal is not 547 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,440 Speaker 1: to make people like me. If my goal is to 548 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:13,040 Speaker 1: make people like me, then that's about my insecurity, my 549 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,880 Speaker 1: shitty self esteem and my ego. My goal is to 550 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:19,200 Speaker 1: serve people. And yes, I want to serve myself in that, 551 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:24,480 Speaker 1: I guess. But understanding that, of course, there will always 552 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:30,280 Speaker 1: be people that intersect with you that for no apparent reason, 553 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,560 Speaker 1: won't click with you, may not like you at all, 554 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:40,960 Speaker 1: and it might be something that you can't explain. But 555 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:44,359 Speaker 1: the challenge, the challenge for us is to know that 556 00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:48,600 Speaker 1: we are not going to connect with everyone. We are 557 00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:51,480 Speaker 1: going to piss some people off. You and me are 558 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:56,160 Speaker 1: going to get things wrong. Also, newsflash, sit down, get 559 00:39:56,160 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 1: out your fucking pen and paper, write this down, underline it. Newsflash, 560 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,080 Speaker 1: you and I, me and you. I know you're fucking 561 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,640 Speaker 1: great and I'm great, just look at us. But you 562 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,480 Speaker 1: and I are going to be the problem at times. 563 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:13,280 Speaker 1: The problem will be you. Now, if you're traversing life. 564 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:21,759 Speaker 1: Thinking that you are almost never the problem, Well then 565 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,239 Speaker 1: you're probably the problem more than you think you could 566 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:29,400 Speaker 1: be the problem a lot. Now, that's not self loathing. 567 00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,799 Speaker 1: That's not throwing ourselves under the bus. That's going you 568 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,280 Speaker 1: know what. I'm human, I've got flaws, I've got bias. 569 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,399 Speaker 1: I see things the way that I see them. If 570 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:42,799 Speaker 1: I always think I'm right right, if I always think 571 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,839 Speaker 1: I'm right, then I always think everyone who disagrees with 572 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:50,239 Speaker 1: me in the world about anything is wrong. That's a 573 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:54,920 Speaker 1: very precarious moral high horse to climb up onto, to 574 00:40:55,120 --> 00:41:00,160 Speaker 1: perch myself up there like the all knowing, fucking deity 575 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:04,440 Speaker 1: that is me. When I've up until this point in 576 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:09,360 Speaker 1: my life been wrong, probably tens of thousands of times, 577 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:14,840 Speaker 1: of course, So how do I navigate that? Well, I 578 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,239 Speaker 1: know what I think, but I also you might say 579 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,360 Speaker 1: to me, what he doesn't matter. Let's not pick a 580 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:25,080 Speaker 1: topic because people get fucking hysterical and emotional. I think 581 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:31,520 Speaker 1: a certain way about topic A. However, I'm open to 582 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:35,000 Speaker 1: being wrong because I've been wrong many times, and so therefore, 583 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:40,080 Speaker 1: unless I have absolute evidence and data and by the way, 584 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,200 Speaker 1: somebody telling you something is not evidence or data unless 585 00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:47,000 Speaker 1: I've fucking seen it or touched it or measured it. 586 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:51,400 Speaker 1: And you know, unless I have unequivocal evidence or proof 587 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:56,600 Speaker 1: of something, then I assume with almost everything that I 588 00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:00,920 Speaker 1: could be wrong. And I think, by the way, I 589 00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:02,960 Speaker 1: don't assume I'm wrong, but I know that I could 590 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,480 Speaker 1: be wrong. And I think this having certain beliefs and 591 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:11,160 Speaker 1: ideas and values that kind of provide a compass for 592 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:15,480 Speaker 1: your choices and your behavior, an internal sat Nav for 593 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,279 Speaker 1: how you live and who you become and where you 594 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:22,480 Speaker 1: go literally or metaphorically. I think having those beliefs and 595 00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:27,160 Speaker 1: those values as kind of internal drivers and compasses, as 596 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:31,560 Speaker 1: I said, are great. But also being open to the 597 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:37,040 Speaker 1: idea that I might be wrong, getting out of the 598 00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:42,799 Speaker 1: echo chamber, like it's a specific kind of intelligence and 599 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:47,319 Speaker 1: awareness to know that well, despite the fact that this 600 00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:51,399 Speaker 1: is comfortable for me to think, despite the fact that 601 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:55,640 Speaker 1: I've thought this for a long time, despite the fact 602 00:42:55,719 --> 00:43:00,399 Speaker 1: that this belief, this idea, this philosophy, this ideology is 603 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 1: intertwined with my sense of self, as much as it 604 00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:09,839 Speaker 1: fucking terrifies me, because if it's not true, then who 605 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,280 Speaker 1: am I? As much as it terrifies me, the idea 606 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: that this might not be true. I have to acknowledge 607 00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,440 Speaker 1: that it might not be true, and if that's the case, 608 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:26,440 Speaker 1: I will just deal with it. Because also if I 609 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:30,960 Speaker 1: unequivocally know something, then that makes the need for belief 610 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,280 Speaker 1: and faith redundant because you don't need faith now because 611 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,520 Speaker 1: you have evidence, you have data. And faith is literally 612 00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:43,160 Speaker 1: or belief is literally believing in something that you can't prove, 613 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:46,359 Speaker 1: because if you could prove it unequivocally, then you would 614 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:53,640 Speaker 1: just have science or data or knowledge or information. I 615 00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:57,040 Speaker 1: feel like I've banged on a lot, but I just 616 00:43:57,160 --> 00:44:04,640 Speaker 1: love this. I love this intelligence conversation. You know. It's 617 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:10,560 Speaker 1: my training partner who I've spoken about probably fifty times 618 00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:14,320 Speaker 1: over the years on the podcast. Mark his name is 619 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,799 Speaker 1: I call him the Crab. His actual name is Mark. 620 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:24,040 Speaker 1: And Mark is you know, just somebody who I think 621 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,080 Speaker 1: he I don't know what you left school year ten 622 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:31,960 Speaker 1: or eleven, and certainly even academically, he's not stupid at all. 623 00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:36,200 Speaker 1: He's quite smart. But he has a kind of intelligence. 624 00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:39,600 Speaker 1: He has an ability to solve problems and make things 625 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:43,319 Speaker 1: and fix things, and and just he has a kind 626 00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:48,759 Speaker 1: of intelligence that I do not have. And he's very 627 00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:52,120 Speaker 1: laid back he's very informal. He's like me a little bit. 628 00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,319 Speaker 1: But when I look at him and him and I 629 00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,080 Speaker 1: are a good friends, and I have I guess a 630 00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:03,960 Speaker 1: certain capacity for certain things and he has for other things. 631 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:10,960 Speaker 1: And between us, what's interesting is there's a lot of divergence, 632 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 1: not convergence. We're quite different in terms of our skills 633 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:19,920 Speaker 1: and our abilities and our kinds of intelligence, like the 634 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:23,920 Speaker 1: kind of social and emotional intelligence that I have, the 635 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:28,280 Speaker 1: interpersonal intelligence that I have. Not that he is socially stupid, 636 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:32,200 Speaker 1: he's not at all, but he will often ask me 637 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,040 Speaker 1: something in that space, how do I go about this? 638 00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:39,480 Speaker 1: How do I And then on the other side, he's 639 00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:43,480 Speaker 1: got a kind of a practical intelligence that I do 640 00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:48,840 Speaker 1: not have. You know, there's just things that I don't 641 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,879 Speaker 1: know how to solve certain problems. I'll run it by him. 642 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:56,000 Speaker 1: He will come up with four potential solutions in thirty 643 00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,600 Speaker 1: seconds that I couldn't come up with one in thirty hours. 644 00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:05,400 Speaker 1: So it is indeed a multitude of things. It is 645 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,600 Speaker 1: a spectrum intelligence. It's not one thing, it's many things. 646 00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,960 Speaker 1: So I wonder what your kind of intelligence is. I wonder, 647 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,920 Speaker 1: I want. I'm sure it's more than one thing, but 648 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:20,440 Speaker 1: I'm interested in how smart you are and in what 649 00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,040 Speaker 1: way see you next time.