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Speaker 1: I'll get atif cook. Welcome to my show, which we

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Speaker 1: call the You Project. How are you?

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Speaker 2: I've a what a pleasure to just be here on

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Speaker 2: the You Project.

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Speaker 1: Ah, look at us both being here in the middle

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Speaker 1: of the fucking engine room of the project that is you,

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Speaker 1: eighteen one hundred and something episodes down the track, just

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Speaker 1: sharing the love and the information, inspiration, education and frivolity

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Speaker 1: with the masses. I just got off a big phone

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Speaker 1: call before with Nova, the people that partner with us

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Speaker 1: on this fine little bloody endeavor, at a five to

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Speaker 1: ten minute in the calendar, five to ten minute meeting

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Speaker 1: with Kerry from Nova. Kerry, if you're listening, Kerry could

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Speaker 1: talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles. She fucking goes.

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Speaker 1: She's a verbal fucking older sack. Once you go in,

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Speaker 1: once you drive into that verbal culder sack, you just

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Speaker 1: go around that. You cannot get out conversational stands. But

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Speaker 1: God bless she's good. She looks after us, and she's

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Speaker 1: great at her job. But there are no five minute

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Speaker 1: meetings with Kerry, none, not one.

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Speaker 2: Or there's no five minute meetings with you either, Harp.

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Speaker 2: So I'm just saying, chatty, chatty, you know.

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Speaker 1: You know, sometimes I'm not chatty. Sometimes I'm like do this,

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Speaker 1: do that? Shut up, get over there, But I am

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Speaker 1: somewhat well. That was a repeating theme in my school

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Speaker 1: reports starting in grade three with Craig has a tendency

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Speaker 1: to be somewhat loquacious in class and distracting for other children.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, Mum, what's loquacious? She's like, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: So there was no Google or fucking chat GPT back then,

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Speaker 1: just the Webster's Dictionary that we didn't have access. I

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Speaker 1: think you talk too much, is what she's saying. And

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Speaker 1: turns out Mary's guest was on the money excessively and

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Speaker 1: unnecessarily verbose was another one.

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Speaker 2: Thank god you didn't listen though, thank god.

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Speaker 1: And another teacher who remain sorry, a teacher who remained

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Speaker 1: nameless because people thought I was throwing her under the bus,

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Speaker 1: but I actually loved this teacher said to me, with

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Speaker 1: the most thoughtful of intentions, you need to stop talking

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Speaker 1: in class because no one is ever going to pay

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Speaker 1: to hear you talk, so you need to start learning.

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Speaker 1: And I went, that's a good point, and in most

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Speaker 1: instances that is very sound advice, as it turns out

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Speaker 1: she was wrong, but I love her. She was a

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Speaker 1: very good teacher and just again. But you know, here

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Speaker 1: I am now, and I have not learned my lesson,

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Speaker 1: still not shushing. I've turned it into a fucking business,

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Speaker 1: a career, I think.

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Speaker 2: Great. The amount of things you can turn into just

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Speaker 2: about anything you can turn into a business these days.

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Speaker 1: That is true. That is true. If you can I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think, and I'm not saying I'm a brilliant communicator

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Speaker 1: at all, but if you can communicate, whether or not

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Speaker 1: that's on a podcast or as a school teacher, as

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Speaker 1: a negotiator, or as a salesperson or as you know,

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Speaker 1: a parent, whatever, whatever the role, if you can communicate,

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Speaker 1: build connection, rapport, understanding with other people, Like, that's a

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Speaker 1: running start to a lot of careers and situations and

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Speaker 1: problems that you're going to need to solve. You know,

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Speaker 1: if you can communicate, understand others talk a little bit

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Speaker 1: less than me. Ideally, listen, listen a little more ideally.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting there, though.

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Speaker 2: You've come a long way. I dare say, be proud.

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Speaker 2: The unnamed teacher should be proud.

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Speaker 1: Now that's the unnamed teacher. The funny thing is like today,

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Speaker 1: it's one point thirty six is we're recording. I've spent

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Speaker 1: the whole from six am this morning till now, I've

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Speaker 1: spent it by myself. Other than that a cough at

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Speaker 1: the cafe where I'm still sitting by myself, and hello

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Speaker 1: to a few people. But yeah, and so then then

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Speaker 1: I get with another human, I get a bit excited.

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Speaker 1: My first, my first face to face significant chat. I'm

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Speaker 1: looking at a face on a screen. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: chat to you about something that I find very interesting.

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Speaker 1: I said to you, I opened this door last night

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Speaker 1: with my group. So we're recording this Tuesday. Last night

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Speaker 1: was week six of my mentoring group that I'm currently running.

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Speaker 1: If you're thinking, fuck, I wouldn't mind doing a mentoring

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Speaker 1: group with Harps. It's ten weeks of you and me

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Speaker 1: just opening all kinds of doors and pushing all kinds

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Speaker 1: of buttons. Then we're going to announce a new group

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Speaker 1: very soon. You can jump in on that. Yes, that

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Speaker 1: was a blatant fucking sales pitch. There you go, You're welcome.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, last night we did week six of ten.

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Speaker 1: And every week is obviously a different area or a

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Speaker 1: different topic. And last night was happiness, fulfillment and in

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Speaker 1: a piece. And as I said to you, and clearly

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Speaker 1: I'm not the guru on this, I mean, but it's

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Speaker 1: really it's a conversation and interaction, questions and answers, like

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Speaker 1: doing deep rabbit hole dives on different things. And of course,

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Speaker 1: you know, what is happiness and or fulfillment and or

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Speaker 1: in a piece for one person would be different from

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Speaker 1: someone else. So in other words, you know, you and

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Speaker 1: I get on a motorbike, happiness, fun, joy, someone else

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Speaker 1: gets on a motorbike, terror, you know, horror, fucking you know, anxiety,

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Speaker 1: all of those things, right, So it's not so it's

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Speaker 1: largely about what is the stimulus, what is the thing happening,

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Speaker 1: and what is the response. But a big part of

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Speaker 1: what we ended up talking about is what I call

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Speaker 1: the two world theory. There's actually a theory in science

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Speaker 1: called the many world's theory, but I just call this

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Speaker 1: very colloquially, and somebody else might use it in another capacity,

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Speaker 1: but I call it the two worlds theory, which is

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Speaker 1: essentially the fact that we're talking about the fact that

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Speaker 1: all of us inhabit on a level, we live in

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Speaker 1: a lot of worlds, and I could get really deep.

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Speaker 1: But on the most fundamental level, we kind of inhabit

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Speaker 1: a physical, three dimensional world, you know, a world where

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Speaker 1: I can see TIF go into the gym, or I

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Speaker 1: can see a ride a motorbike, or people can interact

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Speaker 1: with her on the street, and she does life out

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Speaker 1: in the world where she pays bills and does her

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Speaker 1: job and intersects with other humans and goes overseas to

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Speaker 1: India and travels and gets on planes and drives cars

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Speaker 1: and pays bills and has a career, all of these

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Speaker 1: practical things that happen in the real world, or the

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Speaker 1: physical world, I should say, And that's where kind of

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Speaker 1: life happens, and that's where we kind of do a

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Speaker 1: lot of life. But the place where living happens is

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Speaker 1: really more of that internal space of thoughts and feelings

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Speaker 1: and ideas and passions and desires and goals and intentions

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Speaker 1: and self love and self loathing and self worth and

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Speaker 1: self esteem and aspirations and values and beliefs and ideas

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Speaker 1: and creativity and terror and joy and pain and discomfort,

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Speaker 1: and you know, all of those things that happen or

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Speaker 1: are variables in our internal world. And so I wanted

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Speaker 1: to open this door with you today a little bit, because,

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Speaker 1: as we've said before, we are in terms of like

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Speaker 1: internal world. Where I do my living is in my

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Speaker 1: thoughts and feelings and ideas, et cetera. But where I

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Speaker 1: do life is in this big physical place out here

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Speaker 1: with all the other humans. And it's not better or worse,

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Speaker 1: or right or wrong. It's just part of the human experience.

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Speaker 1: And this idea that you know, success in our culture is,

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Speaker 1: as you've heard me say too many times, but we

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Speaker 1: generally define success in our culture as about all things external.

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Speaker 1: What you've got, what you own, what you look like,

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Speaker 1: what you drive, where you live, what people think you,

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Speaker 1: how many followers you have, how much do you make

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Speaker 1: your brand, your academic prowess, your motorbike, your car, your dogs,

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Speaker 1: or whatever. It is like all of these things that

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Speaker 1: people can see and assess and evaluate and assign a

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Speaker 1: certain value, be that financial or social status value or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And I guess the interesting thing is that so many

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Speaker 1: people seem to be ticking a lot of boxes. They've

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Speaker 1: got a good job, they're pretty fit, they've got a

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Speaker 1: nice car, they've got a nice place to live, they've

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Speaker 1: got from the outside looking in it's pretty good, but

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Speaker 1: the inside out experience is not always that, and we

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Speaker 1: seem to have a lot of effort and focus. I'm generalizing,

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Speaker 1: and so listener, this might not be you specifically, but

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Speaker 1: in general terms, we seem to have a lot of

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Speaker 1: energy and focus and attention on all that external stuff

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Speaker 1: while not really having a plan per se for the

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Speaker 1: internal stuff. And I guess my first I'll shut up

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Speaker 1: after this tiff, but I guess my first real revelation

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Speaker 1: in this space was even though I kind of instinctively

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Speaker 1: knew it as when my career kind of took off

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Speaker 1: and things did really well and I owned a bunch

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Speaker 1: of gyms and I was making lots to do and

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Speaker 1: in the middle of all of that, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: wasn't miserable, but I certainly wasn't. I actually was not

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Speaker 1: as happy as when I was younger. And that's not

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Speaker 1: to say one caused the other, but this started me

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Speaker 1: on this kind of inquiry, this path of inquiry about, oh,

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Speaker 1: what is if I've got all this stuff and I

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Speaker 1: don't feel successful, like I look successful and I seem

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Speaker 1: successful to others, but if that perceived success doesn't equate

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Speaker 1: to happiness or joy or fulfillment or contentment. Then maybe

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Speaker 1: I'm not successful at all. Steps down off soapbox.

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Speaker 2: I went for run this morning and I was thinking,

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Speaker 2: and I went for a walk with someone last night,

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Speaker 2: and I feel like this topic is really closely tied

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Speaker 2: to some of the thoughts I was having, And this

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Speaker 2: morning it was that idea that I've started doing a

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Speaker 2: little bit of running instead of the way that I

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Speaker 2: used to train. I've changed a lot of things. I've

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Speaker 2: got new hobbies now they're very different. I've signed up

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Speaker 2: for a new course, so I've restructured how I how

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Speaker 2: I manage my time and my days. And whilst I

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Speaker 2: was running, I was thinking about how hard and uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: but necessary change is, Like how hard it is even

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Speaker 2: when you choose it and you start it and you

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Speaker 2: know it's the right direction. The idea of habit and

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Speaker 2: familiarity gets inside your head, you know. And I could

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Speaker 2: still feel that happening in the middle of all the

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Speaker 2: stuff I'm doing, but also thinking about all of these

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Speaker 2: changes and being really aware of how this will change me,

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Speaker 2: how new hobbies will make my mind focus and think

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Speaker 2: about new things, and that will change the life that

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Speaker 2: happens inside my head and also outside and what will

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Speaker 2: be important and it's interesting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well I think see what I think about with that,

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Speaker 1: and this is not this is just me thinking out loud. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so you're learning piano. These are all things that are

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Speaker 1: happening in your external world, right yeah, yeah, not good

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Speaker 1: or not bad by the way. I think those things

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Speaker 1: are great, by the way, But I still think we

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Speaker 1: still then talk about stimulus and response, and in a

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Speaker 1: way we have this idea if I do this or

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Speaker 1: if I get that, talk about external world, if I

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Speaker 1: do this, achieve that change that own that, then I

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Speaker 1: will feel this or this will make my internal This

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Speaker 1: will make me less stressed, This will make me more calm,

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Speaker 1: this will make me. I wonder if we can address

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Speaker 1: the internal stuff without making that internal change a byproduct

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Speaker 1: of something that we are doing in our physical world,

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Speaker 1: Like ah, if I meditate, I do this thing, then

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Speaker 1: that will take away this. And I'm not saying that

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Speaker 1: they shouldn't be coral, but it's always like I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: you know, when I get you know me, part of

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Speaker 1: my story is when I get my PhD, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to be happier, like I know I'm not and that's

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Speaker 1: not to say that a PhD is good or bad,

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Speaker 1: but there's something just in the back of your head

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Speaker 1: where you go. Like somebody said to me today, when

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Speaker 1: do you finish? I go on, I'm kind of middle

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Speaker 1: of you. How happy will you be? I go, I'm

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Speaker 1: so fucking happy. It's all about lunchtime right right, because

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Speaker 1: this is we go. When I do this, that life

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Speaker 1: will be good. Yeah, maybe maybe.

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Speaker 2: But also you can't. You can't escape how everything influences you.

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Speaker 2: So I think about what are the people or the

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Speaker 2: conversations or where does what will my mind grab hold of?

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Speaker 2: Like you can't do nothing. You have to do things

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Speaker 2: to change you have to do things to change your

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Speaker 2: internal but it's it's not about the doing of the

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Speaker 2: thing that Maybe it's about the process of the environment

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Speaker 2: it puts you in, or the choices you make, or

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Speaker 2: how you adapt and evolve because of the thing. Does

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Speaker 2: that make sense even?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Kind of kind of. I think also by the

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Speaker 1: way I think I do without trying to contradict myself,

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Speaker 1: I think in general terms. Quite often it's the like,

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Speaker 1: for example, you want to learn to think differently, hang

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Speaker 1: out with different people, have different conversations, expose yourself to

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Speaker 1: new ideas, new new environments, new culture, and new whatever.

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Speaker 1: You know, you're gonna just by osmosis, you're going to

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Speaker 1: start to think differently because you're onboarding new ideas and information.

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Speaker 1: You want to become a better tennis player. Don't play

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Speaker 1: with people that are worse, play with people that are better.

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Speaker 1: Get dragged up. You know, same with a lot of principles.

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Speaker 1: But I still think that like being able to be

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Speaker 1: still and take us do a stuff like, ah, what's

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Speaker 1: this feeling? What's that about? Where's that coming? What is this? Okay?

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Speaker 1: What am I feeling right now? Like that awareness exercise?

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Speaker 1: Where what is it that I'm feeling? I'm feeling insecure? Okay,

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Speaker 1: where does that come from? What is that about? What

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Speaker 1: triggered that? What's a better way for me? How could

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Speaker 1: I reframe this? You know, all that kind of that

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Speaker 1: looking inward rather than looking outward to create some internal fix?

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Speaker 1: And like, how many people do you know? And I

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Speaker 1: know that like I've literally worked with thousands, You've worked

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Speaker 1: with I'm sure hundreds, literally work with thousands of people

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Speaker 1: who their overwhelming goal was to change their body significantly,

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Speaker 1: and then they did, and again they were happier till lunchtime,

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Speaker 1: and then the next day it's almost like their reset

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Speaker 1: back to their previous emotional and psychological state, and they

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Speaker 1: would come in and go, I just want to lose

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Speaker 1: three more caves, or I just want to lift this

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Speaker 1: much more, or I just want to run this much quicker,

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Speaker 1: or I want my body composition to be this not that,

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Speaker 1: And I go, that's what we've been working forwards towards

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Speaker 1: for a year. And you're there, You're at the top

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Speaker 1: of the mountain. Yeah. Yeah, it's like this destination disappointment thing.

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Speaker 1: You get there, you got into the destination, you reach

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Speaker 1: the goal, you hit the number, you reach, the wage,

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Speaker 1: you reach, the look, the feel, the shape, the PhD,

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Speaker 1: the whatever it is. And then you're like, ah, because

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Speaker 1: we have this story, whether it's conscious or subconscious, that

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Speaker 1: arriving at this literal or metaphoric, or financial or physiological

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Speaker 1: or professional point is going to create some internal experience

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Speaker 1: somewhere in the wheelhouse of joy and contentment and permanent happiness.

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Speaker 2: Do you often sit down and workshop your own life?

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Speaker 1: I think probably too much. Like you know, you've met Vin, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I love Vin. Shout out to Vin, best mate for

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Speaker 1: hundred years. Bin's like, you fucking think too much? Kay,

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Speaker 1: you know, because but I do. I try not to.

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Speaker 1: I don't really have any anxiety around it. I have

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Speaker 1: more curiosity, and I think because for me, I really

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Speaker 1: want to be I want to be authentic about like

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Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about stuff that I don't do,

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Speaker 1: you know. I don't want to talk about creating an

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Speaker 1: optimal operating system while not actually trying to do that myself.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, there's no bigger critic of me than me.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't mean I hate myself, but I don't often do

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Speaker 1: work and I go, yeah, that's fuck, I killed it.

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Speaker 1: That's amazing. Like I'm a very hard marker of my

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Speaker 1: own work. Doesn't mean there's self loathing in there. But

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Speaker 1: you know, if I do a corporate gig and I

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Speaker 1: speak to a bunch of people and I talk for

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Speaker 1: an hour and a half or whatever, I do you

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Speaker 1: know a day, an hour, half an hour, and Melissa

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Speaker 1: will always ask me on the way back from that gig,

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Speaker 1: how did you go? And I'll give her a number.

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Speaker 1: The numbers always between one and ten, and it's not

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Speaker 1: often I give myself an eight or a nine. It's

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Speaker 1: generally somewhere in a six, seven, seven and a half,

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Speaker 1: But if you ask the people in the audience, I

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Speaker 1: would think quite often it would be closer to a nine. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I just yeah, I think even when I do

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Speaker 1: something great, it doesn't me seem great. I feel like

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Speaker 1: there's room for improvement.

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Speaker 2: Do you also workshop your non working part of your life?

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Speaker 2: Like do you sit down and look at what's my

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Speaker 2: what's my what are my relationships look like? What does

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Speaker 2: my free time look like? What do my hobbies look like?

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Speaker 2: And if do I want them to be different? And

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Speaker 2: if I do, what does that? What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: What does that look like?

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Speaker 1: Uh No, I don't but I tell you what I

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Speaker 1: do do like, I don't do it that way, but

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Speaker 1: I do a version of that. I don't really see

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Speaker 1: like as I have a conversation with you, now this

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Speaker 1: is a genuine, in the moment for me thinking about stuff, honestly, conversation.

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Speaker 1: This is not me role playing to record something for

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Speaker 1: an episode that we can put up. So I'm simultaneously

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Speaker 1: connecting with you. We're having a good chat. I'm enjoying it.

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Speaker 1: But also we're doing work, we're produce sing something. So

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Speaker 1: I don't really have that delineation or that separation so

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Speaker 1: much between where I go now I'm working and now

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Speaker 1: I'm not working, and even when I do. You know,

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Speaker 1: the funny thing is, even when I work, where you go,

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Speaker 1: oh he's working, is getting dressed up and he's going

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Speaker 1: into the city and he's talking to a bunch of

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Speaker 1: people in a bloody auditorium. Even that for me is fun.

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Speaker 1: Like if you said to me, you can sit at

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Speaker 1: home by yourself and watch Netflix, or you can go

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Speaker 1: and talk to a thousand people. We won't pay you.

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Speaker 1: I'd probably rather go talk to a thousand people because

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Speaker 1: I love that. Like that is fun for me. So

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Speaker 1: there's no I think it depends on your relationship with work.

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Speaker 1: Like if work for you is something you survive, something

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Speaker 1: that you just put up with, something that is a

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Speaker 1: necessary evil, then yeah, I think that would be a

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Speaker 1: hard way to live. But you know, because that isn't

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Speaker 1: the case with me. I don't feel like I've got

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Speaker 1: to get away from anything.

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Speaker 2: You know, I didn't think that either, But I think

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Speaker 2: I'm starting to evaluate the idea of just how much

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Speaker 2: my mind always has to work, always has to think,

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Speaker 2: always has to plan. And I know, even with the

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Speaker 2: hobby of a piano. I'm still doing that, but I'm

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Speaker 2: doing it in a way that it doesn't relate to

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Speaker 2: any form of success or well apart from my own

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Speaker 2: accolades of bragging all over socials. But you know, it's

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Speaker 2: not related to a profession, you know, an endpoint that

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Speaker 2: has anything to do with business. And I think I

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Speaker 2: noticed when I try and take time to just sit,

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Speaker 2: my mind just wants to think and it wants to plan,

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Speaker 2: and it doesn't switch off very well.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, and that's.

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Speaker 2: Always been natural for me. Yeah, it's just I guess

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Speaker 2: it's just under the microscope at the moment, is it.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to continue to be that way all

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Speaker 2: the time.

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Speaker 1: It's it's you know, it's hard to change, isn't it,

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Speaker 1: when especially when like part of just how you operate

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Speaker 1: is just your personality. Then another part of it is

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Speaker 1: how your brain works based on your genetics, you know,

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Speaker 1: And then another part of it is how more broadly

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Speaker 1: out from your brain, your body works, like just biologically, physiologically.

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Speaker 1: And so it's one thing to say I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be different this year. No you're not. You're the fucker.

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Speaker 1: You're the same. You're the same. You might do different

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Speaker 1: things and behave differently, and that doesn't mean you can't change, grow,

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Speaker 1: or evolve. I'm talking about all of the c and

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Speaker 1: me included, but the amount of stuff that I know

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Speaker 1: that is stupid that I still do periodically. Like even

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Speaker 1: when you know something, it doesn't mean you don't do it.

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Speaker 1: Like if you know that that thing is destructive or

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Speaker 1: toxic or stupid, there's a fair chance you're going to

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Speaker 1: do it at some stage, because you know, for a

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Speaker 1: range of reasons, but one of the main reasons is

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Speaker 1: we're emotional. Like I look at people on which I

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Speaker 1: don't participate in, but on social media, just going nuts

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Speaker 1: at strangers about you know whatever, and it's just such

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Speaker 1: a fucking to me anyway, Like maybe it meets some

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Speaker 1: need in them, I'm sure it does, but I just go, fuck,

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Speaker 1: what a waste of energy and time. And you know,

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Speaker 1: and by the way, half the people fully agree with you,

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Speaker 1: and half of the people think you're more on and

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Speaker 1: those numbers are not going to change. So you're not

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Speaker 1: changing anyone's mind, and you're just getting thumbs up from

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Speaker 1: your own little echo chamber, and you're not creating anything

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Speaker 1: any change on any kind of significant level, like what's

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Speaker 1: the point. And it's like if that made your life

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Speaker 1: better or you're a better person, or that made you

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Speaker 1: joyful or then cool or healthier or but there's nothing

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Speaker 1: good to come out of that shit, but people are

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Speaker 1: so invested in it.

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Speaker 2: People can't help but do it. These days, I started

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Speaker 2: I unfollow, I unfollow people that are negative and put

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Speaker 2: stuff up that I don't want it. But even I've

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Speaker 2: started unfollowing stuff that even if it's not bad or negative,

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Speaker 2: if it just makes me if I just don't want

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Speaker 2: that energy in my life. If for no reason there

397
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Speaker 2: might need to be shit people with shit sharing shit stuff,

398
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Speaker 2: but if they share stuff that makes me go on

399
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Speaker 2: my own tangent, I just have started snoozing people on

400
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Speaker 2: socials and going on it. I don't want to. If

401
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 2: I'm going to open my phone and look at shit,

402
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Speaker 2: I want it to be stuff that makes my life better.

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00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think that's wise. And that doesn't mean,

404
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Speaker 1: you know, like snoozing people or deleting people or unfriending

405
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Speaker 1: or whatever the fuck it is. I don't know, I'm old,

406
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Speaker 1: but I don't know how it works with you kids.

407
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Speaker 1: But to me, it's like well, my energy and my

408
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Speaker 1: time and my attention is not infinite. It's finite. So

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Speaker 1: based on who I want to be and how I

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Speaker 1: want to be, what's the best investment, Like if I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be on my phone, I'm going to look

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Speaker 1: at stuff, I'm going to watch a video. Let's not

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Speaker 1: say everything's got to be life changing and uplifting. Sure,

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Speaker 1: I watched the odd motorbike video or the odd fucking

415
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Speaker 1: I seem to be inundated with dog videos. I blame

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Speaker 1: you and a couple of friends for that. Ah, But

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Speaker 1: you know, it's like, for the most part, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's that question that I've said a few times, like

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Speaker 1: in the morning. Generally I think something like, in terms

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Speaker 1: of what I want to do today and be today

421
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Speaker 1: and create and change and fix and address or whatever,

422
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Speaker 1: what's the best use of my energy and time? What

423
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Speaker 1: should have my attention, what needs what's the best use

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Speaker 1: of my mental and emotional energy? Because it's not finite,

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Speaker 1: you know, And I think if you you've got to

426
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Speaker 1: catch yourself though, because it's easy to go down distracting

427
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Speaker 1: rabbit holes where you look up and you're like, well

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Speaker 1: that was an hour.

429
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 2: And that's the thing it's like this, you've got to

430
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 2: accept that that we're wired for that they've they've made

431
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 2: this shit so that we will do that. So we're

432
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 2: fighting up, you know, we're swimming against the current. But

433
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 2: back to the two world theory, what do you have

434
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 2: principles or how do you manage or how do you

435
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 2: coach people to manage that?

436
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: I kind of think like, and this is a bit cheesy,

437
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 1: but I go, let's start with the internal stuff. What

438
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 1: matters to you, like, what's your what's your if you

439
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 1: have a life philosophy or ideology, what are your values,

440
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 1: what do you care about? And then based on that

441
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 1: stuff like what's important to you, what are your values,

442
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 1: what are your goals, what are your standards? Based on that,

443
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 1: are you living a life, a practical life that's reflective

444
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 1: of those things? You know, it's all well and good

445
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 1: for me to talk about the stuff that I talk about,

446
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 1: but then I need to go and be that and

447
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 1: do that and live that. You know. It's imagine if

448
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 1: somebody who's listened to me for hundreds of episodes, who

449
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,240
Speaker 1: kind of knows who I am and how I am,

450
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,239
Speaker 1: and then they see me out one night and I'm

451
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: eating fucking three. Chico rolls on my seventeenth beer and

452
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 1: I'm spewing in the garter and I'm screaming at someone

453
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 1: and people would go, you know, not that that would

454
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,479
Speaker 1: ever happen, but people would be like, oh, he's a

455
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 1: complete fraud, you know, or if I treated someone belligerently,

456
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 1: or if I was you know, I was just out

457
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 1: of alignment with how I present myself to the world.

458
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 1: And you know, we spoke last night. We've spoken here

459
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 1: again about this, but not for all while. You know,

460
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: the public version of you, the personal version of you,

461
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: the private version of you, and the secret version of you.

462
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 1: You know, and the public version of you is the

463
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 1: one that you let everyone see, and then the personal

464
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: one is you know, close friends, and then private you

465
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,199
Speaker 1: is maybe one or two people, and then secret you

466
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 1: is the you that only you get to know and meet. Right.

467
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 1: And I was talking about last night with my group,

468
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: my mentor and group about without being inappropriate, I try

469
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 1: to bring so remember it's public, personal private. As we

470
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: get closer to the core, I try to bring private

471
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 1: me out into the public domain a little bit so

472
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 1: that I can be really authentic and I can be

473
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: of value to others and talk about stuff that maybe

474
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: is hard to talk about, but also talk about stuff

475
00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 1: that doesn't make me look good, stuff that actually makes

476
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 1: me look a bit fucked up and a bit flawed

477
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 1: and a bit limited and a bit you know, inadequate.

478
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: Which is that is who I am, you know. And

479
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: if I'm always trying to present to my audience or

480
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: the world a better version of me than I actually am,

481
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: then I'm role playing. Now. It's catch twenty two. Because

482
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:29,160
Speaker 1: when you have a public facing kind of thing, of course,

483
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 1: you want people to think highly of you. You know,

484
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 1: your brand, your business. You want to look good, you

485
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 1: want to sound good. You want people to rave about you,

486
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: whatever it is. You want to have raving fans, as

487
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 1: they say. But yeah, like I had just before I

488
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: told you I was talking to Kerry from Nova, remember yeah,

489
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: shout out to Kez again and we're talking about a

490
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 1: sponsorship thing. Now i'll tell you what it is, afair.

491
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: I can't tell you now. But it's a bit tricky

492
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 1: because it's one of those products that I'm like, it depends,

493
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 1: you know. It's like I there are some things I'm

494
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 1: happy to have. Let's say, for example, let me pick

495
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 1: someone or something that like Subway, you know, the sandwich bar. Yeah, Like,

496
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: if Subway came to me and when can we sponsor

497
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: your show, I'd go yep, And I might go, hey,

498
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 1: today's episode is brought to you by Subway. Thanks Subway. Boom, right,

499
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to go, Hey, everyone, I eat

500
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: Subway three days a week or seven days a week,

501
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 1: and the food is the best food you can eat,

502
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 1: and you should all eat Subway. I'm not going to

503
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: do that now. I'm not saying it's bad at all.

504
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's a bad product. I'm not saying

505
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 1: anything either way. But there are just certain things that

506
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 1: like do you want me can we say that today's

507
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: episode is brought to you by the people from Subway

508
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 1: and blah blah blah this month you can buy a

509
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 1: foot long for that. Yep, we can do that. But

510
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 1: can I personally tell a lie about my relationship with No?

511
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 1: I can't, And I'm not going to go. I think

512
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 1: something's fucking amazing, even if you're offering me lots of

513
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 1: do if I don't think it's amazing.

514
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, because you lose credibility. People don't want to listen.

515
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 1: That's the ever present challenge. On the one hand, bills

516
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 1: you know, you go and then even Kerry goes, are

517
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 1: you sure? I go, yeah, I'm sure. That's okay. But

518
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: I think we've figured something out which is going to

519
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 1: be win wins. So so we'll see. But I mean, like,

520
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: when are you at your what are you at your

521
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: most This is not the right word, but you're most settled,

522
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 1: like the least anxious, the least overthinking. Is there a

523
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 1: rhyme or reason to that? Can you control it? Can

524
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: you manage it? Or is a little bit hit and miss.

525
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 2: I guess when I'm when I'm engaged in something that

526
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 2: like boxing, was always that for me, which is why

527
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 2: without doing it competitively anymore, I am I'm seeking something

528
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 2: that gets me that engaged because it need to block

529
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 2: out everything else. I always got a just a busy,

530
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 2: excitable minds. That's thinking, and that's my challenge at the moment.

531
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 2: And I guess what I was thinking about before is

532
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 2: that letting go of trying to get somewhere and just

533
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 2: be where I am. And that's all the little changes

534
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 2: I'm making. The internal changes exist. There is internally just

535
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 2: be where you are. So these are the choices you're

536
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 2: making and you're going to do new things, but not

537
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 2: to get somewhere, just to be where you are for now.

538
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 2: And one day you might get somewhere, but that'll just

539
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 2: be a byproduct, and then when you get there, you'll

540
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 2: just be where you are.

541
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is.

542
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 2: Very unme for a long time. I rush, I rush everything, rush.

543
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 2: I mean such a rush. What for fucked if?

544
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 1: I know?

545
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 2: But I'm busy rushing. I've got to get there.

546
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: And you know what's interesting too, I think we kind

547
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 1: of have a story, especially when it comes to things

548
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 1: like our calmness and stillness and equanimity. And it's like

549
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 1: we think, oh, he's sitting by a river counting butterflies

550
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: and patting his Golden retriever and eating tofu and the

551
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 1: breeze is just brushing up against his chin and he's

552
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 1: looking at the mountain in the you know, it's like, yeah,

553
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 1: maybe maybe that would drive me fucking nuts and make

554
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: me anxious because I can't get phone signal. Right, maybe,

555
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 1: but I think the real challenge, which is not necessarily

556
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: that's maybe part of it. Because I love having said that,

557
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 1: I love sitting out in my garden. That does change

558
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: my biology and physiology somewhat. But I think the real

559
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 1: challenge is can I get into that metaphoric space or

560
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:17,879
Speaker 1: that place of calm and contentment and stillness and equanimity

561
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 1: and peace and all of that. Can I do that

562
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 1: without having to be in a particular environment or location

563
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:29,879
Speaker 1: or by a river like Can I be the Can

564
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 1: I be the calm in the chaos? Can I be

565
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 1: that kind of little metaphoric monk in the middle of

566
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 1: the madness. Can I be that? You know? I think

567
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 1: that's the because if we can control our internal environment

568
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 1: without needing some kind of external situation to create it

569
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 1: for us, then we just take the calm with us.

570
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 2: In one of my last coaching groups, I I'm going

571
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 2: to do it again. My participants do an hour and

572
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,800
Speaker 2: I got this off someone else. This was a brilliant

573
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 2: guy I listened to on another podcast, and he talked

574
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 2: about doing this sitting in silent, not not meditating, but

575
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 2: just being still and silent for an hour in somewhere unfamiliar,

576
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 2: like be out of your environment and just be still

577
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 2: for an hour, not meditating, not trying to meditate, just

578
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 2: be there. And I remember one of those people were

579
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 2: brought to tears by the experience. It's hard, Like, how

580
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 2: do you just sit still without making the art the

581
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 2: act of sitting still the thing that you are doing. Yes,

582
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:45,919
Speaker 2: that's very fucking hard.

583
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 1: Oh well we are. I mean, apart from when we're sleeping,

584
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 1: we're pretty dynamic creatures. Like we're not static too often.

585
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 2: I was thinking about this morning. I was thinking, not

586
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 2: necessarily in reference to me, but maybe, but I was like,

587
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 2: I wonder how many people choose and respond to, but

588
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 2: choose tough love because they don't feel like they deserve

589
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 2: real love, right, because tough because real love is too whatever.

590
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 2: It is, like, maybe that's me. I love I love

591
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 2: training with tough love. I love being I love rising

592
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 2: to that. But it's like, well maybe because there's something

593
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 2: underneath that.

594
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 1: So are you talking about a coach that's kind of

595
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 1: you know, I loves you and cares about you, but

596
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,359
Speaker 1: they kind of beat you into performance.

597
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 2: Yeah I guess, yeah, I guess so yeah.

598
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I respond to that too. I like that.

599
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: I'm not and this is not to say that how

600
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: you and I respond to that is the way everyone should. Yeah,

601
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: the whole arm. Yeah, I get that kind of soft gentle.

602
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 1: You're amazing, Like I appreciate it, but it makes me

603
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:15,759
Speaker 1: a bit uncomfortable. Like I'm like, ah, I'm glad, I'm

604
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 1: glad you think that, but yeah, that doesn't Yeah, I

605
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,839
Speaker 1: don't know. Look, I do appreciate it, but I think

606
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 1: I feel unworthy. I don't know. I feel I'm always

607
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 1: felt unworthy. And I know this. I'm not looking for

608
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 1: anything from anyone. Yeah, and I'm aware of it, you know,

609
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 1: and the impostor and the self doubt and all that shit.

610
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 1: And I know I've done all right, and I know

611
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 1: I'm not a dickhead. I get all of that, but yeah,

612
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,760
Speaker 1: there's still this, ever, even though it doesn't make sense,

613
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 1: Like I can just objectively look at what I've done

614
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: in the last forty years and go, well, clearly you're

615
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 1: not a genius, but you're not an idiot. Right, You've

616
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 1: done some Okay, you've been somewhat successful. Right, But nonetheless,

617
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 1: despite that evidence, I can still feel the opposite because

618
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:07,439
Speaker 1: that's emotion, right, Yeah. Yeah, Like we were talking last

619
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 1: night about this is interesting. So you know how if

620
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 1: you take you've got a headache, you take a panadole.

621
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 1: For example, I take about one pana dolar year and

622
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: a good year, you take a panadolle your headache goes away.

623
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 1: Two days later you get a headache, or the next

624
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 1: day take pandola, and then you know, eventually, within a

625
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 1: few days you've got to take two. And then eventually

626
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: you've got to take ten to get the same response

627
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:36,320
Speaker 1: because your receptors have down regulated, and now you need

628
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: five thousand milligrams of whatever it was, not five hundred

629
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: milligrams to get the same response because your physiology has

630
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 1: changed around that in response to that. And there's a

631
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:53,800
Speaker 1: thing in psychology and human beha you called the headonic

632
00:38:54,840 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: called headonic adaptation. So have you heard of the term hedonism?

633
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 2: Yes, yep.

634
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: So hedonism is all about where if I'm a hedonist,

635
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: my whole life is about pleasure. It's about me doing

636
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: shit that gives me joy and happiness and pleasure, and

637
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 1: that's my focus, right. But this interesting thing happens is

638
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 1: when you do something that gives you, let's say, a

639
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:25,439
Speaker 1: ten out of ten response, and then the next day

640
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 1: you do it or that day you do it again.

641
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 1: You know you'll still get a great response. But eventually,

642
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 1: if you only have that same level of stimulus, like

643
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:42,800
Speaker 1: that awesome, amazing thing happen eventually that hedonic adaptation down

644
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 1: regulates your response. So now instead of I was going

645
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 1: to say, I'm going to say it, I fuck it,

646
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to say it. It also happens in sex,

647
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: like so some people start off and they have regular

648
00:39:56,719 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: sex and it's amazing. Then after a while, regularly X

649
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: doesn't give them the same arousal or excitement or joy

650
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 1: or pleasure. Then they've got to buy a fucking chandelier, right,

651
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 1: and then the chandelier gets tired and old. Then they've

652
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: got to bring you know, now I can't say it,

653
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 1: but now I can't fuck That was going to be

654
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 1: fucking hilarious too, but I'll get in trouble. But the

655
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 1: bottom line is, and this happens not just in sex,

656
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: but with lots of things where yeah, and in that case,

657
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 1: there's actually research on that where the sex has got

658
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 1: to escalate, it's got to become whatever, more intense, more diverse,

659
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 1: more weird, more whatever for that individual or those individuals

660
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,720
Speaker 1: to get the same level of pleasure or the same

661
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 1: physiological response. What's my point? My point is, I think

662
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:55,280
Speaker 1: to really experience happiness, you have to experience sadness reasonably

663
00:40:55,480 --> 00:41:00,239
Speaker 1: regularly and enjoy. You've got to experience pain and to

664
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 1: embrace the troughs. You've got to just fucking work through

665
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: the peaks, you know. I think it's like the shit storm,

666
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:15,240
Speaker 1: you know, gives us perspective when the sun shines, you know.

667
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,799
Speaker 2: And all of that exists no matter how good or

668
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 2: not good your life is, successfully or materiallybsent.

669
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm next week speaking of my group. Like I

670
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 1: said to you last night, we did Happiness Fulfillment inner piece.

671
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 1: Next week we're doing our career, money and Retirement. Right,

672
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 1: we're talking about which is very specific again and like

673
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 1: it's such like the psychology of money and wealth, the

674
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 1: experience and money and wealth, and the relationship that we

675
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:54,800
Speaker 1: have with money and wealth, and the way we socialize

676
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 1: and our culture around money and the drive for money

677
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,160
Speaker 1: and the status that comes with money and the bullshit.

678
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 1: Money's fascinating. Fuck, it's a fascinating especially the psychology of money.

679
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 1: So anyway, you've got to go and train someone very soon.

680
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:18,320
Speaker 1: And I've got to go and water my bamboo because

681
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 1: it's hot. It's not going to go get my little

682
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 1: feet in the dirt and order the fuck out of

683
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:29,320
Speaker 1: those bad boys. That are about fifteen feet outside my window.

684
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 1: Thanks helps, Thanks tip, Thanks everyone,