1 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: Everyone. It's Color Talichy for this week's Mojo Monday. So 2 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 1: today I want to talk about an emotion that is 3 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 1: incredibly powerful and one which we often struggle with, and 4 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: that is anger. Anger is not a choice. Aggression is 5 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: so feeling angry about something or someone is not a 6 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: sign that you're failing it being calm or balanced. Anger 7 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 1: is a built in, automatic human emotion, just like other emotions. 8 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: It arrives before you've even had a chance to think, 9 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: so you don't choose anger, it just shows up. And 10 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: the Stoics talked about anger a lot. So Marcus Aurelius 11 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: wrote how much more grievous are the consequences of anger 12 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: than the causes of it? So what he is saying 13 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 1: is that what anger makes us do usually creates far 14 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: more damage than what originally triggered the anger. So what 15 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 1: we do with anger can create much bigger consequences than 16 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: the anger itself. Not because it's that anger that is bad, 17 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 1: but because it's our reaction to it that con spiral 18 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: into something that we never intended. I think we've probably 19 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 1: all been there. So harsh words, slam doors, hurt feelings, 20 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 1: damage trust. A lot of the time we have these 21 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: feelings of regret of the things that we did from 22 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: the anger. So anger is like a signal. Aggression is 23 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: the strategy, and strategies can change with intention, with self 24 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 1: awareness that you can control your actions even when anger 25 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 1: shows up. And our anger is also a mobilizing emotion. 26 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: It wants us to move, and I think this is 27 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: really important to understand. We feel it in our bodies. 28 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: It's that fight flight or fhreeze. It's that fight part 29 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: of that stress response. And when you fight, you've got 30 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:17,519 Speaker 1: to move, and sometimes that movement is powerful and even necessary. 31 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: So you think about Greta Thornberg. Her anger about environmental 32 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:27,519 Speaker 1: injustice didn't make her aggressive, but it made her clear, 33 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,920 Speaker 1: It made her courageous, and it helped her become one 34 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 1: of the strongest voices for change in her generation. So 35 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 1: her anger was fuel for positive action. So that's one 36 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: face of anger. It can be helpful. It can have 37 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 1: values behind it, So it's a value driven kind of 38 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:51,359 Speaker 1: mobilizing emotion. It's a side that protects what matters. It's 39 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,960 Speaker 1: a side that says, this is not okay, and I 40 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 1: have to do something. So anger can point us towards 41 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 1: our values and the places where change is needed and 42 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: there's always something that you care about on the other 43 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: side of anger. But of course we know anger also 44 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 1: has a shadow site. So this is a side where 45 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:19,639 Speaker 1: emotions surge, where we act like we don't have a choice, 46 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,640 Speaker 1: and that's where we can lose control of what we do. 47 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: That's the side where aggression comes in. That's the yelling, 48 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 1: the snapping, the shutting down, the stuff that we can't 49 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: take back, And that's the anger that Marcus Aurelius was 50 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: talking about, the kind where the consequences are far more 51 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: painful than the moment that triggered it. So here's the 52 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 1: middle ground. It's kind of the human ground. Anger itself 53 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: is not the problem. It's what we do that matters. 54 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: So we don't need to get rid of the anger. 55 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: The anger is normal. It's just a normal human emotion, 56 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: and some of us feel it more intensely than others. 57 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 1: But we just need to widen that space between anger 58 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: and action. So even a tiny pause can shift everything. 59 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: Taking a deep breath, counting backwards from ten, walking away, 60 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: these are strategies that can widen that space between the 61 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: feeling and the action. Because anger can be a spotlight, 62 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 1: it can be a source of clarity and courage, or 63 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: it can be a complete wildfire, so damaging everything in 64 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: its path. The feeling isn't the choice, the behavior is. 65 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: So this week, see if you can simply notice the 66 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: moment that anger arrives. Just notice it, and you can 67 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 1: ask yourself, what do I care about in this situation 68 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 1: and maybe take a deep breath, count backwards from ten. 69 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: Create a space between that feeling of anger and what 70 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: you do next, because that is going to widen, that 71 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: space where the power is, where you have a choice, 72 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 1: and then that space that's where you have strength. So 73 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,719 Speaker 1: thanks everyone, thanks for listening. I hope you all have 74 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: a great week and I will catch you next week. 75 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: Sa