WEBVTT - #2103 Coaching Time - Harps 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:04.200 A hollow term. It's harps. I've been instructed by the 0:00:04.240 --> 0:00:08.039 women that boss me around at typ Central to not 0:00:08.160 --> 0:00:11.880 come in too hot on the micro Apparently I have 0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:16.520 a tendency to be somewhat loud and for both if 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:22.760 not frightening. So this is me being very regulated and 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:26.960 fucking boring. But anyway, HI, hope you're all good. I 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:32.120 hope you're well. I did a loaner a solo at 0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:35.800 just Me the other day. Seemed to go okay. We 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:42.160 had someone booked in for tomorrow, which is Wednesday, recording 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:47.879 today Tuesday, and they pulled the pin and they had 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:50.839 a very good reason, So that is all good. Even 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:52.920 if they don't have a good reason, it's all good 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:56.320 because they're all guests and they're all being generous. But 0:00:56.840 --> 0:00:59.280 so I thought I might. I was thinking to myself 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:02.800 self self, what are you going to do? What are 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:06.960 you going to do that might be of value? That's simple, 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:12.200 that's potentially helpful. That is kind of tied in with 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:17.720 my work. I've just started taking on just quietly in 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:22.000 the background. There one or two coaching clients. I've reigned 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:25.039 it back over the last few years because of all 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:28.160 the stuff that I will not mention because the stuff 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:33.279 gets too much airtime. But I thought I might share 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:35.640 some of the now For those of you who've heard 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:39.360 me a thousand times, this will be some of it 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:45.400 revision or repetition, so please feel free too fast forward 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:48.960 to the next episode or wait for the next episode. 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:52.080 But these are really kind of fundamental questions that I 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:56.840 find helpful, but only if we ask an answer and 0:01:56.880 --> 0:02:00.680 then do something off the back of the asking and answering, 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:03.760 you know what I mean. So it's all well and 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.480 good to recognize something that needs to change, or something 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:09.240 that we're not doing or should be doing, or something 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:14.320 that's ineffective or something that's you know, self sabotaging or whatever. 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:19.200 That's good to recognize it and then to take ownership 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:23.000 of it acknowledge it. But then where the change happens 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:26.239 is not in either of those first two steps. Where 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:30.799 the change happens, obviously, is when we get a bit strategic, 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:33.960 create a plan, we make some decisions, we execute the plan, 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:38.040 we do something, and we start to see some results 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:41.720 in our world. We've spoken recently a little bit about 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:46.240 the idea of your life being a kind of a project. 0:02:46.320 --> 0:02:52.560 Of course, ergo the you project and the reality that 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:54.920 things are not going to magically. You're not going to 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.280 magically succeed. You're not going to magically or mysteriously fall 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:00.440 on your feet. Nobody's going to knock on the door. 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:02.520 The Opportunity Fair is not going to knock on the 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:06.079 door and hand your fucking unicorn. It's not going to happen. 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:11.040 So the truth is for many of us, not you necessarily, 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:14.560 but for many humans, me included, at times there are 0:03:14.639 --> 0:03:16.799 periods of our life, could be weeks, could be months, 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:23.640 could be years, could be fucking decades where we keep 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:27.160 doing what doesn't work, but we keep doing the thing 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:31.280 like we recognize, Ah, I need to obviously, just a 0:03:31.280 --> 0:03:34.160 practical example, I need to get in shape. Some people 0:03:34.160 --> 0:03:36.360 have been saying that for ten years while not actually 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:42.000 really really having a crack, not really making hard decisions, 0:03:42.040 --> 0:03:47.640 not really doing difficult things, not really pushing the needle 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:50.920 on the effort, not being consistent, not owning up and 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:54.880 stepping up, while all the time recognizing that their current 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:58.920 trajectory with their health and their diet and their lifestyle 0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:02.720 is probably heading down a path of destruction. No judgment 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:07.400 in that, no criticism in that. That's just literally what happens. 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:10.320 And you don't need to be a genius to look 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:16.120 at the stats on obesity and obesity related diseases and 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:18.440 all of that to figure out that we're not heading 0:04:18.520 --> 0:04:21.840 in the right direction. Despite the fact that we know 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:25.480 more stuff, We've got more podcasts. We didn't have podcasts, 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:27.440 not that they're all good, not that these ones are 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:30.680 all good sometimes, but we've got more information. We've got 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:36.160 more access to academic research and studies. You don't need 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:39.359 to be an academic. You don't need to be a 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:43.719 high level kind of PhD or master's or honors student 0:04:43.880 --> 0:04:47.760 or anything like that. You can go into academic search 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:54.840 engines and find whatever you want to find. You know, 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:56.760 sometimes it's a bit tricky, but you can just go 0:04:56.880 --> 0:05:01.760 into a bunch of just go into Google as a 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:05.120 starting point and say, give me the top five academic 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:09.680 search engines and BIBD Bobby boot. Now you've got access 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:15.679 to actual science, not opinions about science. So when somebody 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.960 says I did my research, you know, I've been taking 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:20.760 this and I go, why are you taking that? I 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:24.520 did my research? And usually what I did my research 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:27.640 means is I watched three videos from people who had 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:30.760 no academic qualification in the field of which they were speaking. 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:34.240 That's often what it means, not always, but even then 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:39.120 we need to be careful. We need to be careful 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:42.960 that we're not paying attention to the wrong people, or 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:47.120 we're not trusting people who perhaps need to earn that. 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:52.440 And even with the stuff that I share and download 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:57.159 to you, all I have said forever, don't believe me 0:05:57.279 --> 0:06:00.360 because I resonate with you, or I talk the way 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:05.520 that you enjoy, or I sound credible. The best I 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:07.920 can hope for from you is to think about what 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:12.000 I'm saying and if it sounds reasonable or a good idea, 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:13.919 like the things I'm about to share with you tonight. 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:17.919 And if you decide off the back of any of 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:20.960 the questions that I'm about to share with you fundamental 0:06:21.040 --> 0:06:24.640 basic change your life type, change your thinking, change your habits, 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:29.320 change your outcomes type questions. If you decide that you're 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:31.320 going to roll the dice and you're going to take 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.359 action and do one of those things, that's cool. That's cool. 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:40.279 But also remember not everything works for everybody. So maybe 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:43.800 in my case, specific to me and you our relationship, 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:47.479 think about what I say, does that sound logical to you, 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:49.480 do I sound like I know what the fuck I'm 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:54.279 talking about? And then can you see perhaps the potential 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:59.720 benefits in asking that question, answering that question, and then 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:03.120 do doing something doing something off the back of that. 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:07.479 And this is how I guess. A frustration point of 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:14.160 mine after twenty one hundred episodes is that just so 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:17.560 many people don't do anything. So many people listen to 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:20.640 I'm not talking about you guys necessarily, I'm just talking broadly, 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:26.200 even people who've come to I've met I know people 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:29.360 by face now who come to my workshops, a lot 0:07:29.360 --> 0:07:31.760 of them, and there are some people who've probably been 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:34.920 to twenty workshops of mine over the years, and God 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:37.560 bless them. This is not obviously I'm not talking about 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:41.320 an individual here, but they still don't do the work. 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:43.880 They like the words, they like the energy, they like 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:47.560 the ideas. They come, they get a bit inspired, a 0:07:47.640 --> 0:07:50.680 bit motivated. The inspiration goes, the motivation goes, and then 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:53.160 the behaviors go, and now three weeks later they're back 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:56.679 at status quo. They're back where they were, and they're 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:59.760 waiting for the next emotional rollercoaster to jump on, or 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:02.120 the push or the next shove or the next light 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:05.320 bulb or whatever it is, and it just doesn't work. 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:09.520 It's it's our ability to succeed. And I've said this 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:12.080 many times, is it's about a lot of stuff. It's 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:14.560 not about one thing. So when someone says to you, 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:17.320 I've probably done this, So if I have, I was wrong. 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:19.720 But when someone says to you, you know, success is 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:24.240 all about this, that's bullshit because it's not all about 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:29.160 one thing. It's about a multitude of things. But like 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:31.120 one of the ones I'm going to share with you, 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:32.640 one of the ideas I'm going to share with you 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:38.360 tonight is extremely important. I would say it's definitely in 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:40.120 the top three. But we'll get to that when we 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:42.319 get to that, all right, So I'm just gonna I've 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:47.640 actually got ten questions. This could end up being too 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:50.520 I want to keep it short. I've already been banging 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:53.920 on for nine minutes, right, I want to keep it short, 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:55.920 So it might be five and then maybe I'll do 0:08:55.960 --> 0:09:02.440 another five. But question one is what's my life telling me? 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.959 I always think about that for myself. I always think 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:11.080 about what are my relationships saying, what's my energy saying? 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:16.280 What are the outcomes? And results that I'm producing at work, 0:09:16.400 --> 0:09:21.880 at university, on the stage, on the podcast, with friends, 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:26.839 with family, with individual projects with for example, Melissa who 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:30.319 runs my life. You know, like, am I what am 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:34.520 I like? For her? Like? Does her behavior tell me 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:38.920 that I don't get it? Sometimes? Sometimes it does? Does 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:42.560 her behavior like am I a person that she enjoys 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:45.720 working with and being around? Like that really matters to me? 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:48.680 Because who the fuck wants to work with somebody that 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:51.920 either they don't like or don't like being around? Right, 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:53.920 so we don't have to be best is, but I'm 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:57.920 it matters to me that she really enjoys the work 0:09:58.000 --> 0:10:01.880 relationship and also the work, and that information is there. 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:03.719 You just need to open your eyes. You just need 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:06.840 to pay attention. You just need to ask great questions 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:10.160 about things and shut the fuck up and stop trying 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:13.240 to get an opinion or an idea across and stop 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:16.400 trying to win. Ask somebody a question if you want 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:21.640 to know how that's going, and then truly listen, truly 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:25.960 try to understand, truly try to do something smart off 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:29.040 the back of that piece of information and insight that 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:34.480 you get. So your life is always giving you data, 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:39.599 as we call in science data or information or feedback, 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:43.640 and then it's the important thing is to in the 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.400 context of all of those things, and not immediately and 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:48.600 not overnight, and we're not going to change the world 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:54.120 by the weekend, right, But it is to think about, all, right, well, 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.200 when I eat this way, or when I communicate this 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:00.960 way with these people, when I approach this issue with 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:04.880 my boss or with my sister or with my children, 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:09.800 it's just for whatever reason, it's a fucking catastrophe. And 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:15.080 often it's because of them. In fact, it's almost all 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:19.720 because of them. Then you go, oh, hang on, let 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:23.599 me bring my good friend's self awareness into the situation 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:30.880 and humility and honesty and accountability and personal responsibility. And 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:33.720 I go, okay, well, with this person, I am producing 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:37.000 some not very good results. And even though I want 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:41.520 it to be him or her, it's either entirely me 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:45.199 or maybe a little bit me, or maybe somewhere in between. 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:48.959 And the chances are most of the time it's somewhere 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:52.040 in between. Of course, that there are times when it 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.400 won't really be you at all, or it might be 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:58.600 all you. But and this is the challenge to be 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:02.080 able to like really grow and learn and evolve, really 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:05.720 not just bullshit on a podcast, not just another fucking mantra, 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:09.760 and not another cliche bloody post that we put on 0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:12.240 the wall or we put on our iPhone or whatever. 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:16.400 All those things are cool. But I guess it, well, 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:18.679 I'm going to I'm going to read my next question 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:22.160 because it's dependent on this, I believe. So the next 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:27.120 question is am I ready to do the work right? 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.880 So they go together, like I'm getting all this starter, 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:32.520 I'm getting all this information if I'm putting on my 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:35.440 big boy pants or in your case, perhaps big girl pants, 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.560 and I'm ready to take ownership. I'm ready to stop 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:41.679 thinking I'm right all the time. I'm ready to stop 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:45.240 having to be right. Like that's a curse, that's ego, 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:48.880 that's bullshit, that's in security, that's fear. You don't fucking 0:12:48.960 --> 0:12:51.120 need that. You're better than that. You don't need to 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:54.760 be right all the time, you need to be well. 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.320 This is me telling you, of course, way up what 0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:01.520 I'm saying, But I suggest you humble and aware and 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:06.760 open to feedback. I'm not talking about criticism from haters. 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:10.040 I'm talking about, like what I'm saying right now, the 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:13.640 value in what I'm saying right now is not in 0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:16.080 the words I'm saying, but rather in your ability to 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:18.680 be able to consume the words, analyze the words, think 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:21.319 about the words, think about whether or not there's some 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:27.280 millimeter of truth in it for you, and then do 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:30.520 something with that, do the work. Like everybody wants to 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:34.719 be wealthier not most people want to make more do 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:37.079 Most people want to be in better shape. Most people 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:41.880 want better relationships. Most people want a better career or 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.960 a better business or. Most people want less stress. Most 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:49.120 people want less anxiety. Most people want to be more grounded. 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:51.640 Most people want to be the calm in the cars cool. 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:58.400 All of those things don't fucking magically happen. You wanting 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:02.440 to be calmer doesn't make you calmer. You wanting to 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:06.559 be leaner and stronger and healthier and more functional doesn't 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:12.200 do anything until you wrap that want, until you wrap 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:17.679 that desire in some behavior, and then, on top of that, 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:21.240 some fully fucking committed This is what I'm doing now. 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:23.720 This is not what I'm trying for the twentieth time. No, 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:26.640 this is my new normal. And if it's not fun, 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:30.640 that's cool. It's not quick, don't give a shit. If 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:33.800 it's not easy, great I'm building resilience, I'm building understanding, 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:38.800 I'm building strength, I'm building emotional and the situational awareness. 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:41.640 I'm becoming a better version of me. So let's bring 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:44.440 on the fucking hard, because I tell you what, where 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:48.080 we don't grow is in the easy, and there's the irony. 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:52.239 We want the easy because easy is comfortable, familiar, certainty, 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:55.560 It's all that shit we love. But guess what, none 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:59.200 of that makes us stronger or better. I'm not saying 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.120 we need to live in in pain and uncertainty and adversity. 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:05.200 Of course we don't. But there will be times when 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:08.280 you and I are required in order to get where 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:11.360 we want to go, achieve our goals, reach our mountaintop, 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:13.440 whatever the fucking metaphor you want to choose, there will 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:17.240 be times when you and I are just required if 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:22.920 we want to succeed to do the thing. What's the 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:25.360 thing you need to do? I need to walk five 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:29.920 k's a day. Cool? Start tomorrow? Ah but albit, arbit, fuck, albit, 0:15:30.880 --> 0:15:35.160 just fucking start tomorrow. Is it hard? Probably? Is it convenient? 0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:38.240 Probably not? Is it? Does it take a long time? 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:43.560 A bit? Yep? Is it going to blow your life up? Nah? 0:15:43.800 --> 0:15:45.680 Will you be all right, yep, can you do it 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:50.440 in three installments so it's more convenient instead of one. Yet, whatever, 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:53.560 whatever the thing is, figure out the thing that you 0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:57.680 need to do, not you hope you'll do, not you 0:15:57.800 --> 0:16:00.160 might get to one day on the fucking today do 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:03.360 list of your life when all the planets are aligned 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:05.880 and the angels arrived on the window with a fucking 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:08.280 message from you know who and you know where, and 0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:13.680 just do the fucking thing that you keep talking about 0:16:13.800 --> 0:16:18.200 or hoping to do or intending to do, and stop 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:22.200 waiting for the feeling that you're waiting for of inspiration 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:25.840 and motivation. Like, think about this, And I know this 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:32.360 is extreme, but let's say this is going to sound traumatic, 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:37.760 So for those who don't like this kind of little metaphor, 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:42.760 I apologize. But let's say you really should walk half 0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:45.640 an hour a day, and you've known that for ten 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:47.640 years because you don't do any cardio, you don't ride 0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:50.560 a bike, you don't you know, let's just say, and 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:52.400 of course there's way more ways to do it, but 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:54.320 let's just say walking half an hour, and you know 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:56.960 you really should walk half now maybe forty five minutes 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:59.240 right each day, just to move your body because you 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:02.840 sit a lot, and outside of structured exercise, there's not 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:06.359 a lot of calorie expenditure. And you've been telling people 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:08.920 and others, I need to start walking every day. I need, 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:11.240 you know, But the kids this, and the family that's 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:14.439 and work that, and you know, my loa back and 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:16.640 blah blah, and then it's five years, and then it's 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:20.920 ten years. Now let's say let's say now that there's 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.680 no absolute reason why you can't walk, but let's say 0:17:23.680 --> 0:17:29.160 it's possible you're not injured. Right if, in some alternate reality, 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:35.080 the cost of you not walking for a year, so 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:38.440 three hundred and sixty five days in a row, was 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:42.960 that something fucking terrible would happen in your life. I 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:45.480 won't identify the terrible because we don't need to get 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:48.920 too specific. But let's say that you've got to walk 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:54.840 five k's a three hundred and sixty five days in 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:58.600 a row, and or something horrendous is going to happen, 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:03.119 something that you would truly fucking dread that, and it'll 0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:06.520 happen the next day, the first day you have off. 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:09.480 Let's make it that day. Okay, So you're not walking 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:11.840 today and you get to the end of the day 0:18:11.880 --> 0:18:15.520 and the horrible thing happens. Now. I know that's melodramatic, 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:17.639 and I know that's fucking ridiculous. I get all of that, 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:23.000 But my point is who would not do it? I 0:18:23.040 --> 0:18:27.399 would think almost nobody. And I've had this conversation with 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:29.800 people and I said, if it was life and death, 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:31.520 would you absolutely do it? And they went, well, if 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.800 it's life and death, of course I'll do it. So 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:36.480 the point is not about it needs to be life 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:40.600 and death. The point is, given the right circumstances, we 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:44.640 absolutely know we can do it, because we just prove 0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:47.600 that with this silly little kind of analogy or this 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:50.880 thought experiment, right, we know we can. We're not saying 0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:53.239 run a fucking marathon. We're not saying bench press three 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:56.240 hundred pounds. We're not saying, you know, climb a mountain. 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:58.080 We're not saying do one hundred chin ups a day. 0:18:58.119 --> 0:19:01.000 We're saying, walk at the pace that you walk at 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:02.800 for thirty minutes. If you've got to do it in 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:06.679 six five minute installments or ten three minute installments, or 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:10.879 fifteen two minute installments or one thirty minute, doesn't fucking matter. 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:14.400 We're still moving. We're still walking for thirty minutes, right, 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:19.200 And so the thing is we need to be prepared 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:22.359 to stop fucking talking about things that we're not going 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:26.560 to do and start doing the things. And when you 0:19:26.640 --> 0:19:29.200 start doing the thing, and this has me being coaching 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:32.959 coach to little Bossy Craig, And I'm telling you this 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:35.399 for a reason. I'll explain the reason in a moment. 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:39.720 When you do it, don't tell one hundred people, don't 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:42.960 post about it on Instagram, don't post about it on Facebook. 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:48.280 Maybe in a month or three maybe, But why Because 0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:51.840 what happens is when we start something like that and 0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:55.440 we look for attention, we look for accolades, we look 0:19:55.520 --> 0:19:58.800 for praise, and that's exactly what we do. We go, oh, 0:19:58.880 --> 0:20:01.639 I'm doing this, I'm so good, I'm so proud of me, 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:06.280 and that that you're fucking walking. Bro, Come on, you 0:20:06.359 --> 0:20:09.480 don't need a trophy for just not being a dickhead. 0:20:10.200 --> 0:20:14.520 You don't need a trophy for walking. But this is 0:20:14.600 --> 0:20:17.720 where we're fucking at in twenty twenty six. We want 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:21.000 a plaque and a fucking round applause, the round of applause, 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:24.639 and a ribbon and a trophy and fifteen thousand pats 0:20:24.640 --> 0:20:26.959 on the back for doing something that is in no 0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:32.600 way exceptional. This is how low our standards have become. 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:35.680 I'm not trying to be a ball breaker. I'm trying 0:20:35.680 --> 0:20:38.719 to help you get strong. I'm trying to help you 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:42.960 be resourceful. I'm trying to help you be the answer 0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:46.000 in your life. I'm not the answer in your life. 0:20:46.320 --> 0:20:49.400 I haven't changed any lives. I have not changed one life. 0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:52.080 Craig Harper is not the answer to anyone for anything. 0:20:52.400 --> 0:20:56.840 Craig Harper is a bloke that says stuff. Now you think, oh, 0:20:57.000 --> 0:20:59.119 and some people go, oh, that's not true, Harps, you 0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:01.080 changed my life. I've had a lot of people say that, 0:21:01.119 --> 0:21:04.520 which is really nice, and you know, my ego loves 0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:06.560 that shit, right, But it's not true though. It just 0:21:06.680 --> 0:21:09.200 isn't true because I said the same thing to a 0:21:09.280 --> 0:21:13.040 thousand other people who did nothing. So it isn't about me. 0:21:13.119 --> 0:21:15.920 It's about you, because you're the one. You're the one 0:21:15.960 --> 0:21:18.040 that did the thing. You're the one that heard the words. 0:21:18.080 --> 0:21:21.960 You're the one that operationalized the plan, the idea, the intention. 0:21:22.160 --> 0:21:24.360 You're the one who kept going. You're the one who 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:27.520 got uncomfortable. You're the one who did the fucking work, 0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:30.520 while others just keep talking about what they're going to 0:21:30.600 --> 0:21:34.840 do but never do. So much of success, so much 0:21:34.880 --> 0:21:37.760 of you changing your life and your body and your 0:21:37.800 --> 0:21:40.760 outcomes and all the shit that needs to be changed. 0:21:40.840 --> 0:21:45.280 So much is about mindset. So much is about your 0:21:45.320 --> 0:21:49.320 ability to be able to just fucking hold on. You 0:21:49.359 --> 0:21:53.200 feel like shit? Cool? I'm sorry you feel like shit? 0:21:53.680 --> 0:21:56.680 What can you do? Can you walk a bit? Yeah? 0:21:56.720 --> 0:21:58.600 I can, but not for long because I'm real tired. 0:21:58.680 --> 0:22:01.320 Can you walk five minutes? Cool? Okay? And a few 0:22:01.320 --> 0:22:03.520 hours walk another five? You've got to walk around the 0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:06.399 house for five cool? Or maybe it's not thirty minutes, 0:22:06.440 --> 0:22:09.920 maybe it's fifteen for you. Obviously, I'm just giving an example. 0:22:10.160 --> 0:22:12.680 Maybe it's not walking at all. Maybe it's something else. 0:22:12.800 --> 0:22:17.600 You know it, but that the idea is stop fucking 0:22:17.720 --> 0:22:22.040 waiting for the mystical, magical, mythical, right time, for the crowd, 0:22:22.160 --> 0:22:28.320 for the approval, for the applause. It is emotional and 0:22:28.400 --> 0:22:33.600 psychological kryptonite. It makes you weak because then you have 0:22:33.680 --> 0:22:36.639 a new addiction. And now your addiction is not fucking 0:22:36.760 --> 0:22:40.760 chocolate and cake. Now your addiction is approval from others. 0:22:41.280 --> 0:22:44.639 Now your addiction is to put shit on Instagram or 0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:48.560 Facebook to show people how amazing you are. And then 0:22:48.720 --> 0:22:52.000 all those positive comments you get back, that's like fucking 0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:55.320 cocaine for your ego. And then but what about when 0:22:55.359 --> 0:22:58.159 they stop, Well, you've got to pump it up or 0:22:58.160 --> 0:23:00.679 what about note, So this is why we don't need that. 0:23:01.920 --> 0:23:06.160 You want that, maybe, but you don't need that. What 0:23:06.200 --> 0:23:08.919 you need is to make yourself the best version of 0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:13.560 you that you can be. All right, I'm going to 0:23:13.640 --> 0:23:17.359 finish with Have I done two or three? I think 0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:20.200 only two I do bang on, so I've got a 0:23:20.200 --> 0:23:21.840 bunch more, but I'm just going to do one more 0:23:21.880 --> 0:23:24.600 because I want to keep this succinct, and I probably 0:23:24.600 --> 0:23:27.719 do another one very soon. If you like these, by 0:23:27.760 --> 0:23:31.280 the way, if you enjoy this and this is you know, 0:23:31.320 --> 0:23:33.080 it's never going to be one or the other. But 0:23:33.240 --> 0:23:36.000 and I'm not seeking accolades. I just want to know 0:23:36.080 --> 0:23:39.439 what my audience likes. If you go, hey, you know 0:23:39.520 --> 0:23:44.520 those solo ones, fuck off with those, no problem. I'll 0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:48.960 just do interviews, right So, but if this kind of 0:23:51.760 --> 0:23:54.120 no bullshit, you know, I'm not trying to be offensive 0:23:54.160 --> 0:23:57.400 to anyone. I know someone gets some people get offended 0:23:57.400 --> 0:24:01.720 by me. Totally understand that. Got a message from a 0:24:01.800 --> 0:24:05.120 lady last night who sounds absolutely love me lovely, who's 0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:07.440 been following me for years, who's got a couple of kids. 0:24:07.840 --> 0:24:10.560 She told me how disappointed she's in me lately because 0:24:10.560 --> 0:24:15.480 of my language. And firstly, I'm so brave for reaching 0:24:15.520 --> 0:24:18.880 out and saying that. But what I loved about her 0:24:19.160 --> 0:24:23.360 was she didn't attack me. She didn't. It wasn't horrible. 0:24:23.400 --> 0:24:26.840