1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,480 Speaker 1: Get a welcome to verter than yesterday. Thanks Dann loading 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: the show. This is a podcast that has got lots 3 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: of useful tools and useful conversations to make your day 4 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,959 Speaker 1: to day better than yesterday, and it has done that 5 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 1: every week since twenty thirteen. My name's Osha Ginsberg. I've 6 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 1: been here every week since twenty thirteen, and I'm glad 7 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 1: you're here today. If you're listening to this in a 8 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:22,440 Speaker 1: few years from now, well this will make no sense 9 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: what I'm about today. But if we're listening to this 10 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 1: to day that it came out last night on Dancing 11 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: with the Stars, I danced a tango to David Bowie's 12 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: fashion and I was eliminated that show. Dancing with the 13 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 1: Stars easily is the hardest thing I've ever had to 14 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 1: do in my career, not physically, emotionally, more than I 15 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 1: expected it would be, and to the point where it 16 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 1: pushed me to do something that I have often talked 17 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: about but I've never done myself. But I ended up 18 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: doing it because I had no choice. I'm going to 19 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 1: tell you about that in just a moment. I really 20 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 1: appreciate that you're here. Just before I start talking about 21 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,279 Speaker 1: dancing stuff. I do want to tell you that story 22 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: Club is firing along and next Joe's August tenth and 23 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 1: September seventh. Tickets to story Club Live dot com. Locked 24 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: in for August show is Jeeves Verma, Jenfricka, Luke, Haggy 25 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,040 Speaker 1: and my wife Audrey Griffin's going to jump on stage 26 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,000 Speaker 1: tell a story. It's a very good one. You can 27 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:33,960 Speaker 1: also get the brand new book. It's called So What 28 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: Now What. It's on pre sale, but not for much longer. 29 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: It's coming out on the fifth of August. There are 30 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: signed copies if you're head over to the book tope 31 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: your website. I'll put a link in the show notes 32 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: for that. So last night I was voted off the 33 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: island on Dancing with the Stars. My torch was snuffed out. 34 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: I had to hand in my apron and I had 35 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: whatever other reality TV show trope there is. The big 36 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: screen opened up and I had to walk and vanish 37 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,559 Speaker 1: in between it. I left. I didn't get enough points 38 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: to continue, but I still haven't watched them. I still 39 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 1: haven't watched the episode, so I don't know what the 40 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: edit was like. But I can tell you that show 41 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: was professionally the hardest thing I've ever had to do easily, 42 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 1: which is okay, because I knew it was going to 43 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: be the hardest thing I've had to do. And I knew, 44 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,519 Speaker 1: because it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, 45 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: I would gain a lot out of it. And I did, 46 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: which I'll talk to you about. But it was still hard. 47 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: And the day after I got voted off, I ended 48 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: up doing something which I've often talked about but I've 49 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,959 Speaker 1: never done myself. But I ended up being left with 50 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,519 Speaker 1: no choice but to do it. I'll get to that, 51 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,959 Speaker 1: But I knew by saying yes to this, I would 52 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,079 Speaker 1: learn a lot, And that's why I said yes to it, 53 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: Because I think, as I've spoken a few times, as 54 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 1: we get older, just generally it's important to say yes 55 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 1: to stuff that scares you. It really really is, because 56 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: you end up finding stuff and discovering things otherwise would 57 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 1: never ever discover. Growth does not come from within one's 58 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 1: comfort zone. Adaptation responses do not come in the absence 59 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: of stress. If one wants to grow and build and learn, 60 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: one must be challenged. That is life, that is how 61 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,519 Speaker 1: it works. So I learned a few things doing Dancing 62 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: with the Stars. Number one, I learned and was reminded 63 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 1: that I love music like crazy. I was given the 64 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,840 Speaker 1: opportunity to for five or six weeks training every day, 65 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: riding my bicycle to training, listening to music all the 66 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: way on a bicycle there, all the way back, listening 67 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: to music all day. Just there's something that music does 68 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: for me. I'm very very lucky in that I have 69 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: something in my brain which sends triggers of some kind 70 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: of huge physical response to vibrations of air to chord changes, 71 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 1: like I'll get goosebumps and feel like you've just given 72 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: me drugs. I get that from music. I'm very very fortunate. 73 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 1: Not everybody is like that, and that reponds tends not 74 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: to dull over time, which is really remarkable. I've got 75 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 1: to just listen to music every day and discover so 76 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: much more music every day, because you know, you can 77 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 1: listen to your same playlist to it. You can be like, nah, 78 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 1: today I'm just going to go ninety ninety four hip 79 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: hop and let's just go let's see what Common was doing, 80 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 1: and just going, oh, that's right, it's just the best. 81 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: I love it and I like to sing all day 82 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 1: and just was the best. The second thing that I learned, 83 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 1: which I kind of knew but got to learn even more, 84 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 1: was that not only do I love to learn and 85 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 1: I'm very engaged when I'm learning something new, particularly something 86 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 1: that's challenging, I actually really love to move my body. 87 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: And there is I mean, I knew there was a 88 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,720 Speaker 1: great benefit to moving my body and that dance can 89 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,480 Speaker 1: be used as a way to shift mood states, but 90 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: I really unlocked a way to do that, to really 91 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: dance it off, to dance it out to feel bet 92 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: are just from moving. And so even on days that 93 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 1: were very hard, and there were some days that were 94 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: really hard doing there was another shit going on my life. 95 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 1: Of course, now some days are really really challenging. Nothing 96 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 1: to do with the dancing stuff. Dancing and moving all 97 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 1: day it just made it better, made it easy to handle. 98 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 1: The problems hadn't changed size. I was just able to 99 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 1: kind of think about them in better ways. And of 100 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: from riding the bicycle home, there'd be solutions that would 101 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:26,840 Speaker 1: show up to problems that I left the house with 102 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:30,159 Speaker 1: that morning, and that all came from moving my body. 103 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: And now, look, I don't move my body as well 104 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 1: as some people. I'm way stronger now than when I 105 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: finished that show. Because I've kind of kept up that 106 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,360 Speaker 1: amount of movement, thus less hard to do without a 107 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: dance partner. I've been doing it with kettle bells under 108 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: my house, but I move a lot better than I 109 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 1: did before I started this show, which is fantastic, and 110 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,720 Speaker 1: by moving I feel heaps better Like now. It was 111 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 1: a good part about training at home in between sets, 112 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,359 Speaker 1: I'll dance. I'll dance in between sets as I'm recovering 113 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: before I lift the next thing, and it's fun. It's 114 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: real fun. The third thing that I learned, which I 115 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: already knew, but I was able to do in ways 116 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: that I've never done before, is I love to connect 117 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: with people through performance, whether it's this speaking to you now, 118 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 1: whether it's on stage with a TV show, whether it's 119 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,720 Speaker 1: on radio without using my voice at all, which is 120 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: what I did on this show, just using my body. 121 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,480 Speaker 1: I love to connect with people through performance and figuring 122 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 1: out ways to convey my personality and the way that 123 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:30,280 Speaker 1: I feel and the emotions that I want you to 124 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 1: feel as well, just using my body. I learned how 125 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: to do that, and start to learn how to do that. 126 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: I mean, I've got heaps more to learn. Obviously, but 127 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 1: it was something that was unlocked that I never ever 128 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 1: had before, and that was great. So there's real three 129 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: positive things that I learned out of this. Another thing 130 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,920 Speaker 1: that was kind of challenging to learn was that I 131 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:53,039 Speaker 1: need to plan for when my brain stops working well 132 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: when I'm overwhelmed. Last night was our third dance, and 133 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: the first two times I went out there, what happened 134 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 1: was that when it's showtime and the audience is there, 135 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 1: it's like and now here we go, you go bop 136 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: boo boo, boom, and then the song hits all right. 137 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 1: I would get out there sometimes and like my brain 138 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: and be like, I don't know what you're doing here. 139 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 1: If you know, who's this person sitting in front of you, 140 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,480 Speaker 1: why are you in this room? Feet don't know what 141 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: to do. Everything would just vanish out of my brain 142 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: because I was in this very very high stress moment 143 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: when in this big overwhelming moment, my long term memory, 144 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 1: which happens in your brains. I had to learn how 145 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: all this happens. Like, when you're in those overwhelming moments, 146 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: your long term memory or your things you've learned how 147 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: to do that can get you in or out of trouble, 148 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 1: you just simply forget about that you know how to 149 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 1: do stuff, and you can find yourself frozen. And I 150 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: found myself frozen. I was like, shit, man, this has 151 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 1: got to stop happening. So I had to plan for 152 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: what to do, knowing that was going to happen, knowing 153 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: it was definitely going to happen when I stood out there, 154 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 1: I needed to make a plan as to what to 155 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: do about it when it did. And for me, what 156 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: that was was basically reciting something in my head, which 157 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 1: was the dance steps in a row. So rather than 158 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 1: just relying on my feet to remember what to do next, 159 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: I would in my brain say I gave them all 160 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 1: very silly names, like it's a it's the Travolters truck 161 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: for eight, it's the Zoolander for two, it's you know this, 162 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: that and the other. And I would say this in 163 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:34,319 Speaker 1: my head, Travolted, t Revolted, t Revolted, revolted at five, Lander, Zoolander, 164 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 1: Helen May, and Helen Aren, Like that's what I was 165 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: doing in my head to know that what comes after 166 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,320 Speaker 1: the Helen Mirror and the Jean Luke. All right, That's 167 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:44,559 Speaker 1: that's how I would remember it because it happened to 168 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: read like I said twice, I'd be out there and 169 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 1: the struy's look at me and going, what are you doing? 170 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,719 Speaker 1: It's like, I don't know, because it was gone, just 171 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,840 Speaker 1: like a puffer smoke was gone out of my brain. 172 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 1: And that was fascinating. And the other thing that I 173 00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: learned was that the amount of external valid that I 174 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 1: thought I was okay with was a lot lower than 175 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 1: the amount of external validation that I am actually okay with. 176 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 1: It's very hard for me not to be a part 177 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 1: of a show like this and not want to do 178 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 1: my part to make it better. But there's a possibility 179 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,559 Speaker 1: that much like when my mum was quite sick and 180 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,839 Speaker 1: she was trying to manage her own oncology treatment, we 181 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 1: had to say, Mum, you're not an oncologist. Can you 182 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 1: please stop that, because just because you're a doctor doesn't 183 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 1: mean you know the right thing to do. Here. There's 184 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: an element of me trying to have control by producing 185 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,199 Speaker 1: myself or trying to bring moments, but there's also like, 186 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,679 Speaker 1: I know what the job is. I'm here to make 187 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 1: other people do the thing that people want to see, 188 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 1: and so I actually really enjoyed playing along and playing 189 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,360 Speaker 1: the role of sparring with the judges a bit, give 190 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 1: a bit of crunch to the story. That was fun, actually, 191 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: because look, there's nothing worse than getting into an edit 192 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: and having to make something more dramatic than it is. 193 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: You can always cut stuff down, but it's very hard 194 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: punch stuff up. You can only put so many symbol 195 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 1: crashes and orchestra swells into an edit to make it 196 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,839 Speaker 1: feel feel bigger than it is. So you know this 197 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 1: show and show is this kind of television. The way 198 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: that you go on this kind of show is you 199 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: get stuff said to you that isn't often said in 200 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 1: polite conversation. And I am very well aware of that. 201 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: In fact, I was especially proud that I got Craig 202 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 1: Revel Hohoward to say the word disaster with five syllables. 203 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: So even though I know exactly how this kind of 204 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,439 Speaker 1: television works, even though I knew would never make it 205 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,319 Speaker 1: to the end, I've seen the footage, I know what 206 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,959 Speaker 1: it looks like when I move. I know that I'm 207 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,440 Speaker 1: not amazing at it. I knew that it wasn't going 208 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: to happen. I understood that, and even though I had 209 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: visualized and played through the scenario where they voted us off. 210 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 1: Even though I knew all of that stuff, it's still hurt, 211 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 1: and it hurt a lot. Now, make no mistake, there's 212 00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 1: no fault whatsoever with the way the show runs. Everyone 213 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: in production did a great job, was incredibly well supported, 214 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: the producers. Everybody was really, really, really cool. And at 215 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: first I was okay with it. That night, I was tired, 216 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,559 Speaker 1: and I was okay with I was delighted to be that. 217 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: I was very grateful, you know, we did what we did, 218 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 1: and I was very happy to work with reality and 219 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 1: we put it in everything. I left everything on the 220 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 1: dance floor. I did not not try the hardest I 221 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,079 Speaker 1: could possibly try, and at first I was fine with it. 222 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 1: But the next day I woke up and I wasn't. 223 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 1: And that's when I did something that I've often talked 224 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,199 Speaker 1: about but I've never done. And I'll tell you that 225 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:46,880 Speaker 1: after the break. So you're listening to this. A day 226 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: after I got voted off Dancing with the Stars, and 227 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 1: last night we did the dance of the Tango, which 228 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 1: is an astoundingly difficult dance to do. You're in a 229 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 1: walking squat the whole time home. You can't stand up straight. 230 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:04,960 Speaker 1: You kind of got a knees, always bent your your 231 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,959 Speaker 1: bums closer to your ankles and it normally is, and 232 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 1: your sideways the whole time. When it came to the music, 233 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: I really pushed for that song and thank you Sonya 234 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 1: who runs runs the music there. She said, okay, we'll 235 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: get it on because David Bowie fashion amazing track, absolutely amazing. 236 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 1: Srianni was really wonderful. She let me influence the choreography. 237 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 1: As we worked, I had the idea of very much 238 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: kind of early eighties is a film called Paris Is 239 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: Burning about the voguing scene of the early eighties that 240 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 1: Madonna then, you know, did her song Vogue about, and 241 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: I showed Srianni the trailer and we you know, kind 242 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,000 Speaker 1: of I looked through some showed her some you know, 243 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: herb Ritz photos and things. When it came to the 244 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: you know, so every time we stopped, we stopped in 245 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,840 Speaker 1: these incredible fashion poses as you know, Shalom Harlowe pulling 246 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:53,280 Speaker 1: the big the big fashion post faces from eighties nineties, 247 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 1: and Srianni was wonderful and when she really lean into it, 248 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,600 Speaker 1: she let me really leanto it. We rehearsed and rehearsed 249 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: and rehearsed, rehearsing, rehearse but rehearsing in our small dance 250 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: study is very different to rehearsing in the space where 251 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,680 Speaker 1: you actually perform it, which is much bigger. There's steps 252 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 1: and ramps and cameras and lights and all kinds of things, 253 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,559 Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna lie. It's difficult to adjust to 254 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 1: the new space. So we got voted off. And the 255 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: day after I woke up okay. But as soon as 256 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 1: I had a couple of coffee and my brain work up, 257 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 1: it remembered what had happened the night before, and then 258 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: my brain started going over it and over it and 259 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: over it and over it and over it. And I 260 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 1: did my usual things. I could feel the anxiety. I 261 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,920 Speaker 1: could feel it kind of all starting. I journaled, I 262 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 1: wrote it out, and I did a lot of writing 263 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,839 Speaker 1: that morning, just writing, writing, writing, writing, writing, running. I 264 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: trained a bit, moved my body, trying to move my 265 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: body make it feel a bit better better. I talked 266 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,320 Speaker 1: about it with Audrey, went for a walk, book to dogs, 267 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: but I wouldn't stop, and it was getting worse, and 268 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,839 Speaker 1: no breathing was calming it down, and no ability to 269 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 1: you know, rationalize it or think about stuff was working. 270 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,599 Speaker 1: And I know enough to know when I am outgunned. 271 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 1: And I knew, ah, I am out of my depth here. 272 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,719 Speaker 1: I'm not handling this. All the tools I already have 273 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,079 Speaker 1: aren't doing the job. I need more than I've got. 274 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,319 Speaker 1: So I reached out to my contact to production and 275 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 1: I said, can you lick me up with the onset 276 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 1: pych please? Every production on a show like this has 277 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: a psychologist, and I said, yeah, sure. Now that job 278 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: in Australia has a long history, and I was there 279 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,040 Speaker 1: at the very very start of it. I remember season 280 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: one Australian Idol two thousand and three. There was some 281 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 1: seventeen year old girl. She was kicked off and then 282 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 1: the next day she was back in a job at 283 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: the cinema. And I turned to my producer and I said, mate, 284 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 1: I don't know if we can do this. Like two 285 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 1: million people just saw her get told you're not good 286 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 1: in front of the nation, and now we just shoved 287 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 1: it back into the suburb where she lives. She's going 288 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:50,320 Speaker 1: to need a bit of a debrief, mate. He's like, 289 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 1: you know what, You're right, And the next day there 290 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,360 Speaker 1: was a psych on set, and there's been a cycle 291 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 1: on the set of every show that I've worked on. 292 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: I've often talked about this in interviews when people come 293 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 1: on the show like this, when you're dealing with authentic 294 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 1: human responses as a part of making nonscripted TV, you've 295 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 1: got to look after the humans that give you those 296 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 1: human responses, because they're often quite exaggerated, you know, in 297 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: these exaggerated situations, and so help and support is offered 298 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,520 Speaker 1: to everybody. Neither you nor me nor the production will 299 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 1: ever know how much they have accessed that, and that's 300 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 1: a very good thing. But I can tell you, for 301 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: twenty four years now there have been people who have 302 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 1: a full time job of being an onset psych in 303 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 1: TV production. And so wonderfully, the person from the production 304 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 1: office connected me with the psych wasn't very long, maybe 305 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 1: an hour or two later she called have We spoke 306 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: for about an hour. And this person's very experienced. She 307 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: knows the game very very well. She knows exactly how 308 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: the sausage is made. I know exactly how the sausage 309 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,720 Speaker 1: is made, and it's still hurt. And that's the weirdest part. 310 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,400 Speaker 1: One of the things I couldn't get my head around, 311 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,160 Speaker 1: but it was so incredibly powerful to have someone from 312 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 1: inside the production there's also a psychologist be able to 313 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: help me reframe and talk through what was going on 314 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:03,320 Speaker 1: for me. This person has counseled hundreds of people who 315 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: have been voted off or voted out or kicked off 316 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 1: or didn't get to the top of Mount Watsatani on 317 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: The Ninja Show or whatever. She's helped all kinds of 318 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 1: people from all walks of life deal with this overwhelming 319 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: feeling that I'm feeling, and it is a feeling that 320 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 1: you have probably faced yourself. Is the feeling of rejection. 321 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 1: And even though I know it's a show, and even 322 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: though I bunged a bit of MAO on it to 323 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 1: bring a bit of spice into it, because you know, 324 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 1: I've never been on the other side of this equation, 325 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,200 Speaker 1: I thought it'd be fun, and it was deeply, deeply 326 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 1: inside of me. Even though I know exactly how these 327 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 1: things work, deep inside of me, there was still a 328 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,640 Speaker 1: part of my ego that really really wanted to be 329 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 1: told I'd done a good job. Looking at it now 330 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 1: and Beary might still haven't watched the episode, but I'm 331 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,760 Speaker 1: pretty sure I know what I'm gonna see it makes 332 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 1: sense why they let me go. I get it, But 333 00:16:55,160 --> 00:17:00,280 Speaker 1: in the moment, mentally and physically exhausted from weeks and 334 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 1: weeks of training, I just didn't have the bandwidth to 335 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:07,639 Speaker 1: process it. I couldn't get my head around it. And 336 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 1: I'm grateful to know that I wasn't able to handle it. 337 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 1: And I'm grateful that I had resources available to me, 338 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: and I was smart enough to take action and make 339 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,639 Speaker 1: use of those resources. It's like I say all the 340 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,960 Speaker 1: time when I'm doing a keynote talking about this stuff, 341 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,639 Speaker 1: my ideas were no longer enough, and I know that 342 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:31,400 Speaker 1: when I get to that point, it doesn't just get 343 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 1: better by itself. You may be different, But once I 344 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,760 Speaker 1: tip over into that space where I can't no longer 345 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 1: calm myself down, or I can no longer rationalize or 346 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 1: think my way out of it, that's when I need 347 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 1: other people's ideas to help me get out of this 348 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,880 Speaker 1: place that I'm stuck. It was just a conversation, maybe 349 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: forty five minutes an hour we've been on the phone, 350 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,280 Speaker 1: But the perspective I had on the other side of 351 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 1: that conversation apples to oranges. I hung up. I was like, Ah, 352 00:17:56,359 --> 00:18:00,200 Speaker 1: that's it, and it was instantly, instantly better. Now. I 353 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: spoke about this, you know, earlier, and I spoke about 354 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,400 Speaker 1: it the other week. I've got something really valuable out 355 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 1: of doing this show. I got the chance to identify 356 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 1: that there was a larger, unexpected gap between my ideal 357 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 1: self and my actual self. I got the chance to 358 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:19,200 Speaker 1: address my self esteem and my self worth which were 359 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 1: not actually in the place that I thought they were, 360 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: And that is unbelievably valuable. As speaking to you now, 361 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,040 Speaker 1: I've worked very hard on both. Because this was April 362 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,400 Speaker 1: March April, it was a long time ago. I'm already 363 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,639 Speaker 1: a very different person in those respects, and I'm on 364 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,000 Speaker 1: a very different tangent to what I was. But I 365 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,119 Speaker 1: would not have known both of those things had I 366 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 1: not put myself in that situation and gone through something 367 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:46,639 Speaker 1: so incredibly hard pressure. Max Diamonds steals forged in fire, 368 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,920 Speaker 1: I have been forged on the dance floor. Did I 369 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,879 Speaker 1: get what I wanted into doing Dancing with the Stars 370 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 1: more than I could have dreamed. I've got a chance 371 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 1: to show both my kids that just because you can't 372 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,080 Speaker 1: do it perfectly doesn't mean you shouldn't try and if 373 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 1: you're going to do it, just fucking go for it. 374 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,400 Speaker 1: Just send it. If you're going to go out there, 375 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,680 Speaker 1: send it as hard as you can. It might not 376 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 1: be great, but if you commit, then you can lie 377 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 1: ahead at night and go. I did everything I could. 378 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:15,320 Speaker 1: The friendships that I made backstage were unbelievable connections with 379 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,680 Speaker 1: people that I'll value for a very very long time. 380 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,400 Speaker 1: I got to work with someone as masterful Astrianni, unbelievably 381 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 1: clever person, brilliant everyper and her husband Craig, equally talented. 382 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 1: Those two people are so gifted at what they do 383 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 1: and excellent teachers, and they really had their work cut 384 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 1: out with me. I got to be given performance notes 385 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: from one of the best to have ever done it 386 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 1: in Australia, Kelly Abby, who is just when someone like that, 387 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 1: who just knows showbies up and down can just say 388 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: to you, yeah, just but if you point your chin 389 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: this way, what does it do? Oh? Yeah, do that 390 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 1: like fire out man. The woman's amazing. And also to 391 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 1: work once again with crew that I'd worked with for 392 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 1: a very long time. Some of those crew, you know, 393 00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:59,440 Speaker 1: one of them, particularly Peter. He was on camera the 394 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,399 Speaker 1: very first thing I started in television, and he was 395 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 1: there on this show. He's going to still be working. 396 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: But there was a couple of other crew that I 397 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,200 Speaker 1: think that was the last job they're doing well, the 398 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,000 Speaker 1: last job they did before they hung up the headset. 399 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 1: Incredible honor. It was brilliant to do. It was incredibly 400 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 1: hard to do. It was really challenging. It really hurt 401 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:25,359 Speaker 1: as painful, it was overwhelming, and it was also great 402 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,640 Speaker 1: because it can be all of those things at once, 403 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,960 Speaker 1: all right, it really can, and all the stuff I 404 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 1: got out of it, the incredible benefit that I feel 405 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,480 Speaker 1: from having done it. It was worth the amount of discomfort, 406 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:47,960 Speaker 1: uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, body pain, no sleep, soreness, crankiness, everything. 407 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,480 Speaker 1: It was worth all of it, because that's what life is. 408 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:57,400 Speaker 1: It's all of it, and there are rewards there if 409 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 1: you're willing to be with the hard stuff. The rewards 410 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,239 Speaker 1: are there, even if that hard stuff is looking at 411 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:09,160 Speaker 1: yourself like I had to. It was brilliant and I'm 412 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 1: so glad I got to do it, and I'm grateful 413 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 1: I've got to share with you about it, And I 414 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: hope that if you're ever in a similar situation to me, 415 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: when you realize you're out gunned. Go talk to someone 416 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:22,240 Speaker 1: quick sticks because once you get that reframe, once you 417 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:25,000 Speaker 1: get that redirection, once their energy starts showing up again, 418 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,040 Speaker 1: because it doesn't just go away like that. Those sorts 419 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,440 Speaker 1: still come back, but now you know what to do 420 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,920 Speaker 1: with them. And now you can start doing different patterns 421 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 1: of behavior, and you can rewire things, and you can 422 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,360 Speaker 1: fundamentally shift how you go forward from there. But you've 423 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: got to identify it. And it really helps to have 424 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,680 Speaker 1: someone else around. So do what you got to do, 425 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,440 Speaker 1: and I'll see you Wednesday. Thanks for listening.