Kia Commodore: While your wedding date is one of the happiest days
Kia Commodore: of your life, it can also be one of the
Kia Commodore: most expensive days. In 2023, the average UK wedding costs over 20,
Kia Commodore: 000 pounds with the cost of living and inflation pushing
Kia Commodore: up prices from 2022. But proper planning, budgeting, and research
Kia Commodore: can help you build the day of your dreams and
Kia Commodore: reduce the financial stresses to that you focus on the
Kia Commodore: fun build up to your big day. Welcome to another
Kia Commodore: episode of A Little Bit Richer, brought to you by
Kia Commodore: my friends at Legal and General. Here to help us
Kia Commodore: navigate the world of weddings and how to manage the
Kia Commodore: costs is Ellie Austin- Williams. Ellie is the author of
Kia Commodore: Money Talks: A Lifestyle Guide for Financial Wellbeing and the
Kia Commodore: founder of This Girl Talks Money. With an online community
Kia Commodore: of over 50,000 people, Ellie provides knowledge, insights, and a
Kia Commodore: safe space to help people gain confidence and ownership over
Kia Commodore: their finances. Welcome to the show Ellie.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Thank you for having me.
Kia Commodore: I'm excited to talk about this, because for once, I
Kia Commodore: actually am not the expert. I'm here to learn from you.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Okay, I'll do my best.
Kia Commodore: I'm super excited to talk about this. So we're talking
Kia Commodore: all about love and weddings.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Yes.
Kia Commodore: To get things started, what advice would you have for
Kia Commodore: couples at the beginning of their wedding planning journey to
Kia Commodore: help them manage the costs of the big day?
Ellie Austin-Williams: Well, I think to start off with, enjoy the moment.
Ellie Austin-Williams: When you get engaged, it's so exciting and I think
Ellie Austin-Williams: that we're talking about money today and that is a
Ellie Austin-Williams: big aspect of it, but there's definitely a time for
Ellie Austin-Williams: celebration and excitement before you get into the nitty- gritty.
Ellie Austin-Williams: The first thing that I would always encourage people to
Ellie Austin-Williams: do is to sit down together and write down your priorities.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Individually, first of all, what your priorities are when you
Ellie Austin-Williams: think about what you want your wedding to look like.
Ellie Austin-Williams: And then compare notes and go through and see, are
Ellie Austin-Williams: they aligned? If not, no problem, but you are going
Ellie Austin-Williams: to keep coming back to this list of priorities. And
Ellie Austin-Williams: if you don't do it, it's going to end up
Ellie Austin-Williams: causing chaos when you go through the planning and particularly
Ellie Austin-Williams: the budget.
Kia Commodore: I think that's a really good point. Because for me what's
Kia Commodore: really important is the dress and the food. Everything else
Kia Commodore: we can cheap out on in my opinion, but the
Kia Commodore: dress and the food is what ... especially the food.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Absolutely. Because most of us are working to some sort
Ellie Austin-Williams: of budget with a wedding. If you don't have an
Ellie Austin-Williams: unlimited budget, you have to make choices and you want
Ellie Austin-Williams: to make sure that you're making those choices in a
Ellie Austin-Williams: way that aligns with getting you as close as possible
Ellie Austin-Williams: to the day that you've envisaged and the day that
Ellie Austin-Williams: you've dreamed. You need to have an order of priority
Ellie Austin-Williams: to work through or you're just going to end up
Ellie Austin-Williams: getting tied up in knots.
Kia Commodore: I love that. I think it is so crucial. Off
Kia Commodore: the back of budget then, what suggestions do you have
Kia Commodore: around managing and allocating a wedding budget?
Ellie Austin-Williams: I think first of all, you really need to get
Ellie Austin-Williams: clear on what your budget is at the start, because
Ellie Austin-Williams: the biggest trap you can fall into when you're getting
Ellie Austin-Williams: married is looking at things you can't afford. Do not
Ellie Austin-Williams: go near a dress that is outside your budget. Because
Ellie Austin-Williams: I can tell you, you'll fall in love with that
Ellie Austin-Williams: dress and every dress that's in your budget that you
Ellie Austin-Williams: try on-
Kia Commodore: You won't like anymore.
Ellie Austin-Williams: You won't like anymore. So there is no point doing it. So get
Ellie Austin-Williams: really clear on what your budget is before you start
Ellie Austin-Williams: actually looking. But don't start actually going and viewing things,
Ellie Austin-Williams: trying stuff on, ordering things, until you know what you're
Ellie Austin-Williams: working with. And that involves having some of the conversations
Ellie Austin-Williams: that you might need to have about budget. Because we're
Ellie Austin-Williams: in 2024, things are a bit different in terms of
Ellie Austin-Williams: how couples fund weddings. A lot of couples self- fund
Ellie Austin-Williams: them. A lot of people do still get family help,
Ellie Austin-Williams: but family help can mean both families. So have those
Ellie Austin-Williams: conversations early on so there aren't any surprises, there aren't
Ellie Austin-Williams: any misaligned expectations, and you can go into the actual
Ellie Austin-Williams: planning process with your eyes open and with a clear
Ellie Austin-Williams: idea of how much money you've got in that account
Ellie Austin-Williams: to spend.
Kia Commodore: Realistic expectations is such a big thing, because if people
Kia Commodore: are going to contribute, because they've said ... sometimes you might have
Kia Commodore: family members who say, " Oh yeah, don't worry, we'll help you
Kia Commodore: out." Okay, but how much?
Ellie Austin-Williams: What does that mean?
Kia Commodore: How much is that helping out? Is that 500 pounds? Is that a couple of grand? What
Kia Commodore: am I looking at so I can factor that into
Kia Commodore: how much we actually have to spend on that wedding.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Yeah, absolutely. Because the difference between 500 and 2, 000 when you're
Ellie Austin-Williams: planning a wedding is a lot. So you need to know
Ellie Austin-Williams: that because you don't want to fall into the trap
Ellie Austin-Williams: where you make the 2, 000 pound decision and it
Ellie Austin-Williams: turns out you're only getting 200 pounds.
Kia Commodore: Oh my gosh.
Ellie Austin-Williams: And then you've got to plug the gaps. And it
Ellie Austin-Williams: happens so often and it can be avoided a lot
Ellie Austin-Williams: of the time by having these conversations up front.
Kia Commodore: I think a lot of people are just worried to
Kia Commodore: talk about money and it's not easy. I don't think
Kia Commodore: we're saying it's easy.
Ellie Austin-Williams: No, it's not.
Kia Commodore: But it is important if you want to stay within your
Kia Commodore: budget it is very, very important. As we've said, paying for
Kia Commodore: a wedding is a big expense, and when you couple
Kia Commodore: that with our normal financial commitments, it can get quite
Kia Commodore: pricey. So do you have any thoughts on how people
Kia Commodore: can get that money together for the big day?
Ellie Austin-Williams: Yeah, absolutely. We're talking about a cost of around 20, 000 pounds
Ellie Austin-Williams: is the average at the moment in the UK. And
Ellie Austin-Williams: obviously that's an average, so a lot of weddings are
Ellie Austin-Williams: going way above that. The cost of living is high
Ellie Austin-Williams: at the moment, so it's no surprise people are getting
Ellie Austin-Williams: stressed and worried about how to afford a wedding. There are
Ellie Austin-Williams: a few different things to think about. First of all,
Ellie Austin-Williams: a longer engagement can help give you time. There is
Ellie Austin-Williams: absolutely no need to rush a wedding. You can enjoy
Ellie Austin-Williams: the engagement. Make the most of it. Add an extra
Ellie Austin-Williams: year, in the long term that is not going to
Ellie Austin-Williams: make a difference. It gives you that extra 12 months
Ellie Austin-Williams: to save up. Thinking about the size of the wedding
Ellie Austin-Williams: is also a really helpful way to try and manage
Ellie Austin-Williams: costs. Again, I've had so many conversations with people about
Ellie Austin-Williams: this. Where you start off with an idea of the
Ellie Austin-Williams: size of the wedding and it just spirals and it
Ellie Austin-Williams: can be really difficult, because I know parents typically get
Ellie Austin-Williams: very excited when their children are getting married and invite
Ellie Austin-Williams: everyone, and that's lovely. And I do think it's slightly
Ellie Austin-Williams: different where you're getting contributions from family in terms of
Ellie Austin-Williams: how much control and say they get over what happens
Ellie Austin-Williams: with a wedding. But the biggest cost usually is the
Ellie Austin-Williams: food and beverage cost per head. You're looking at somewhere
Ellie Austin-Williams: around 90- 100 pounds per person. And given that most
Ellie Austin-Williams: weddings you're looking at like 60, 80, 100 guests at least, that's
Ellie Austin-Williams: where the bulk of that cost tends to come from
Ellie Austin-Williams: if you're sitting down and having a three course meal
Ellie Austin-Williams: with drinks and the champagne reception and all of that.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Scaling down the size of the wedding can really help you to manage
Ellie Austin-Williams: the costs. Obviously, if you can save as much as
Ellie Austin-Williams: possible then that is brilliant. But I know that a
Ellie Austin-Williams: lot of people will be in a situation when they're
Ellie Austin-Williams: thinking about borrowing for a wedding. And the first thing
Ellie Austin-Williams: to say there is to just think about how you're
Ellie Austin-Williams: going to repay it. Please do try and think about
Ellie Austin-Williams: a plan for repayment, but also factor in the overall
Ellie Austin-Williams: cost of lending and try and work out whether the
Ellie Austin-Williams: best option for you is going to be a loan
Ellie Austin-Williams: or whether there is a credit card where you can
Ellie Austin-Williams: get some 0% percent borrowing. It really is going to
Ellie Austin-Williams: depend on each individual, but trying to reduce the cost of
Ellie Austin-Williams: any borrowing that you do need for the wedding is
Ellie Austin-Williams: going to help you overall when it comes to keeping
Ellie Austin-Williams: within that budget. I also think it's really worth thinking
Ellie Austin-Williams: about things like the dress. If it's going to take you
Ellie Austin-Williams: a year or two to save up the amount for
Ellie Austin-Williams: a brand new dress that you want, can you find
Ellie Austin-Williams: that dress secondhand, pre- loved, and get it tailored to
Ellie Austin-Williams: fit you for a fraction of the cost? There are
Ellie Austin-Williams: so many ways that you can be creative now, because
Ellie Austin-Williams: you want to enjoy this process of planning a wedding.
Ellie Austin-Williams: It's meant to be a celebration. It's meant to be
Ellie Austin-Williams: something you enjoy. So putting too much financial pressure on
Ellie Austin-Williams: I think can take a bit of that joy away
Ellie Austin-Williams: from it.
Kia Commodore: I'm happy that you mentioned pre- loved and secondhand. I
Kia Commodore: think it's a great way to reduce the cost and
Kia Commodore: be sustainable.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Exactly.
Kia Commodore: And enjoy your big day because financial stress shouldn't come
Kia Commodore: into it. However, I would be remiss to say that it
Kia Commodore: is still a massive thing that a lot of couples
Kia Commodore: do experience. So for any couples who are struggling with
Kia Commodore: that financial pressure, what advice would you have for them
Kia Commodore: when it comes to managing that, when they're planning for
Kia Commodore: their wedding?
Ellie Austin-Williams: Yeah. I think go back to that starting point that
Ellie Austin-Williams: I mentioned about priorities and really sit down and drill
Ellie Austin-Williams: into that. Because as much as you start off with
Ellie Austin-Williams: these good intentions, and it can be really easy to
Ellie Austin-Williams: lose perspective of A, what you set out to achieve
Ellie Austin-Williams: and what's important to you, but also B, the constraints
Ellie Austin-Williams: that you're working within. But what I really don't want
Ellie Austin-Williams: people to end up doing is finding themselves just popping
Ellie Austin-Williams: things on the credit card here, there, everywhere, and forgetting
Ellie Austin-Williams: about it and then ending up racking up these really
Ellie Austin-Williams: expensive charges because they're trying to achieve this picture perfect
Ellie Austin-Williams: day when actually they could do it on a budget
Ellie Austin-Williams: and they could stay within their initial constraints. Every time
Ellie Austin-Williams: you're making a decision, go back to that priority list,
Ellie Austin-Williams: go back to the budget. Where are you? Are things
Ellie Austin-Williams: costing more than you expected? Are things costing less? Are
Ellie Austin-Williams: there changes that you can make? If, for example, food
Ellie Austin-Williams: is something that's really important to you, what are the creative ways
Ellie Austin-Williams: that you can make sure that you're getting the high
Ellie Austin-Williams: quality, but without necessarily paying for the three course silver
Ellie Austin-Williams: service experience? Because there are options for that. Good food
Ellie Austin-Williams: doesn't have to be expensive. Again, venues are another one.
Ellie Austin-Williams: I know a lot of people have the idea in
Ellie Austin-Williams: their head of the type of venue that they want
Ellie Austin-Williams: for their wedding, but actually can you create the atmosphere and
Ellie Austin-Williams: the vibe that you want for your day at a
Ellie Austin-Williams: venue that's not going to cost you an arm and
Ellie Austin-Williams: a leg? And there are also ways to reduce the
Ellie Austin-Williams: cost of a venue. Looking at different seasons is a big
Ellie Austin-Williams: one. Looking at different days of the week.
Kia Commodore: We have social media, you see what other people have
Kia Commodore: done and you might think, right, I've got to do what
Kia Commodore: this person did, or I've got to try and do
Kia Commodore: better than what they did, but it is your day,
Kia Commodore: so it should be tailored to you and whatever you
Kia Commodore: can afford. But whatever you want, most importantly. What are
Kia Commodore: some other creative ways that couples can implement to reduce
Kia Commodore: the prices that they have to pay for their big day?
Ellie Austin-Williams: I think a really good one is thinking about ways
Ellie Austin-Williams: that you can do a bit of DIY. Even if
Ellie Austin-Williams: you're not doing a full scale DIY wedding, there are
Ellie Austin-Williams: elements throughout the day where you can actually get stuck
Ellie Austin-Williams: in or you can get your bridesmaids, get the groomsmen,
Ellie Austin-Williams: get your mother, friends, family to get involved. One thing
Ellie Austin-Williams: that I did for my wedding is we bought a
Ellie Austin-Williams: lot of flowers wholesale, and the night before my mum
Ellie Austin-Williams: and bridesmaids basically created the table decorations, because I knew
Ellie Austin-Williams: it was an area for me where I didn't want
Ellie Austin-Williams: to spend a lot of money. There were other areas
Ellie Austin-Williams: where I was like, " That's my priority." So it ended
Ellie Austin-Williams: up costing a couple of hundred pounds to do all
Ellie Austin-Williams: the table decorations. Where if you pay for table decorations,
Ellie Austin-Williams: you're looking at thousands of pounds. Things other people have
Ellie Austin-Williams: done are things like dessert tables where you can bake
Ellie Austin-Williams: a load of brownies and have a table. Or things
Ellie Austin-Williams: like a donut wall. You can have one of those really
Ellie Austin-Williams: cool boards where you order loads of donuts and you
Ellie Austin-Williams: stick them on and people can go up and take
Ellie Austin-Williams: their own. And yes, it probably costs you a couple
Ellie Austin-Williams: of hundred pounds, but compared to adding an extra course
Ellie Austin-Williams: to a sit down dinner, then you're going to save
Ellie Austin-Williams: money. Thinking a little bit outside the box. And a lot of these things
Ellie Austin-Williams: actually you can make look really cute and quirky as well.
Kia Commodore: My friend, she had a DJ, so instead of, I
Kia Commodore: know people have bands, but a DJ does help to
Kia Commodore: bring down that cost?
Ellie Austin-Williams: Yeah. And also just don't feel the pressure, like you
Ellie Austin-Williams: said, to do all the things that you see online.
Ellie Austin-Williams: One thing that I have noticed a lot of people
Ellie Austin-Williams: have stopped doing, thankfully, and I didn't do it either,
Ellie Austin-Williams: are wedding favors. The reality is, no one notices if
Ellie Austin-Williams: you've got them or not. And I also think a
Ellie Austin-Williams: great tip actually is think about your wedding from the
Ellie Austin-Williams: perspective of a guest. So think about when you're a
Ellie Austin-Williams: guest at other weddings, what do you notice and what
Ellie Austin-Williams: don't you notice? And then apply that to your own
Ellie Austin-Williams: wedding as well. And of course there'll be some things
Ellie Austin-Williams: that you just want to do because they matter to
Ellie Austin-Williams: you. But another example of this is, is we had the
Ellie Austin-Williams: option for the drinks reception of upgrading to a English
Ellie Austin-Williams: sparkling wine rather than a Prosecco. And when we were
Ellie Austin-Williams: told this, we were like, " Oh, well that would be
Ellie Austin-Williams: really nice because it's an English countryside Cotswold wedding. There's
Ellie Austin-Williams: something really nice about this English wine." And then we
Ellie Austin-Williams: stopped for a second and we thought, have you ever thought, "
Ellie Austin-Williams: What am I drinking at a wedding?"
Kia Commodore: It's true.
Ellie Austin-Williams: I have no idea what I've ever drunk at a
Ellie Austin-Williams: wedding. I drink what I'm given. And so we thought, "
Ellie Austin-Williams: Okay, we can save ourselves 15 pounds per bottle by
Ellie Austin-Williams: not doing that."
Kia Commodore: Wow.
Ellie Austin-Williams: And these are the kind of costs that we're talking
Ellie Austin-Williams: about. 15 pounds a bottle, that's like a lot of
Ellie Austin-Williams: bottles, a lot of money.
Kia Commodore: Yeah, it's a lot of money you would've spent.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Yeah.
Kia Commodore: That's a really good outlook and I think what is important
Kia Commodore: to focus on. I've seen many horror stories online of
Kia Commodore: people booking services, booking professionals, and the day comes and
Kia Commodore: they back out last minute, maybe a week before, maybe
Kia Commodore: even a day before, maybe even on the day. I've
Kia Commodore: heard some horrific things. So I know that there are things
Kia Commodore: that you can do to protect yourself. One thing being
Kia Commodore: potentially wedding insurance. So could you talk to us about
Kia Commodore: wedding insurance and whether or not this is important to have?
Ellie Austin-Williams: Yeah, so I think it really depends whether it's worth
Ellie Austin-Williams: it based on A, the size of your wedding and
Ellie Austin-Williams: the cost of the wedding, but also the different policies of
Ellie Austin-Williams: the providers and the suppliers. And that's going to be
Ellie Austin-Williams: so individual based on your wedding. There are certain venues
Ellie Austin-Williams: that will insist that you have insurance before you go
Ellie Austin-Williams: and actually book. In some cases you are going to
Ellie Austin-Williams: have to get a policy in the first place. But
Ellie Austin-Williams: I also think it's worth having those conversations with your
Ellie Austin-Williams: suppliers, like your photographers, for example, or your band or
Ellie Austin-Williams: your DJ, just to see how they tend to operate.
Ellie Austin-Williams: And like you say, sometimes people back out at the
Ellie Austin-Williams: last minute. I think it really comes down to checking
Ellie Austin-Williams: what the Ts and Cs are before you're signing up,
Ellie Austin-Williams: committing money to different suppliers. And also just looking at
Ellie Austin-Williams: the overall cost and working out what would happen if
Ellie Austin-Williams: something happened. If you don't have insurance, what's your plan
Ellie Austin-Williams: of action? What's your backup? And also if you do
Ellie Austin-Williams: have insurance, is it actually going to cover the eventualities
Ellie Austin-Williams: that you would like it to cover?
Kia Commodore: I know we are naturally programmed to scroll to the
Kia Commodore: bottom of the Ts and Cs and just sign or just click okay. But especially
Kia Commodore: when it comes to wedding, there's a massive expense. I
Kia Commodore: think anything that's going to cost you a whole chunk
Kia Commodore: of money that you don't really want to lose, you should be looking at-
Ellie Austin-Williams: Read it properly.
Kia Commodore: What are you in for? What are you liable for? What are they liable for? So you
Kia Commodore: can make sure that you are going in with your eyes wide open.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Absolutely.
Kia Commodore: That's the key thing. Ellie, you have shared some incredible
Kia Commodore: gems and I have learned way more than I thought
Kia Commodore: I would about weddings, so I feel like I'm ready.
Kia Commodore: I'm ready for my big day. Thank you. But before
Kia Commodore: we round off, what are your top three tips for
Kia Commodore: managing the cost of a wedding?
Ellie Austin-Williams: Number one, communicate. Communicate, most of all with your partner,
Ellie Austin-Williams: but also with the other people in your family, other
Ellie Austin-Williams: people that might be involved. Make sure that you are
Ellie Austin-Williams: having regular conversations so that you are staying on track
Ellie Austin-Williams: when it comes to the budget. Make sure that everyone
Ellie Austin-Williams: is working from the same page. Ultimately, a wedding is a
Ellie Austin-Williams: big project that you're all a big team working towards
Ellie Austin-Williams: executing, so you are ultimately the project manager. So get
Ellie Austin-Williams: on the same page and schedule those regular check- ins,
Ellie Austin-Williams: otherwise it will go off plan. Number two, don't just
Ellie Austin-Williams: think about yourself. And I know that sounds strange because
Ellie Austin-Williams: it's your big day, but think about what is most
Ellie Austin-Williams: important to you when you're planning this wedding. Is it
Ellie Austin-Williams: having all the people that you want to be there,
Ellie Austin-Williams: or is it having the day in the way that
Ellie Austin-Williams: you have pictured it, because they're not always compatible. And
Ellie Austin-Williams: I say that meaning, that a lot of the time
Ellie Austin-Williams: what ends up happening is that a bride and groom
Ellie Austin-Williams: make decisions about a wedding that basically pushes a lot
Ellie Austin-Williams: of costs onto the guests. They will decide they want
Ellie Austin-Williams: a certain venue or a certain destination, and the consequence
Ellie Austin-Williams: is that the guests end up having to take off
Ellie Austin-Williams: a week from work, pay for expensive flights, pay for
Ellie Austin-Williams: expensive accommodation. And what can end up happening is, A,
Ellie Austin-Williams: people can feel resentful. People can feel pressured. But then
Ellie Austin-Williams: also I think sometimes people won't be able to go.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Asking yourself, what is most important to me? Is it
Ellie Austin-Williams: about people being there and spending that day with the
Ellie Austin-Williams: people that you love the most? Or is it doing
Ellie Austin-Williams: things in the way that you wanted even if it
Ellie Austin-Williams: means some of those people can't make it. And three,
Ellie Austin-Williams: don't forget about stag and hen- dos. They can really,
Ellie Austin-Williams: really get out of control when it comes to cost.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Have a think about how to try to manage a
Ellie Austin-Williams: budget for your stag and hen- do.
Kia Commodore: Those are some good tips, especially about the stag and
Kia Commodore: hen, I've never really considered that, but it is a
Kia Commodore: part of the budget that you need to factor in.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Oh yeah.
Kia Commodore: Ellie, you have opened up our eyes and our wallets
Kia Commodore: to what we should be focusing on when it comes
Kia Commodore: to wedding budgets and planning for that big day. So
Kia Commodore: thank you so much for coming onto the podcast.
Ellie Austin-Williams: Thank you for having me.
Kia Commodore: So much to consider on tying the knot. Thanks for
Kia Commodore: breaking it all down, Ellie. Next time, financial wellbeing expert,
Kia Commodore: Clare Seal will be here to help us feel good
Kia Commodore: about our money. I'd love it if you could review
Kia Commodore: the podcast, spread the word, and help others get a little
Kia Commodore: bit richer too. Keep up with the show on TikTok and Instagram at
Kia Commodore: Legal and General. Thank you for listening. See you soon.