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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Women & Money podcast. This is a special podcast today because this is right around International Women's Day. What does that mean? Why do we need a day just for women? I think back, and there's Mother's Day, Father's Day, Columbus day, there's all kinds of days. So why do we need a day, a day for women? I'll tell you why we need a day for women. Because it is just possible that you don't think about yourself except for this day. Because maybe you're not a mother, maybe you don't have a role that you play like that. Maybe you're just a woman. And being just a woman is a big deal. You know, there is a saying in China that goes like this. Women hold up half the sky. In America if I was going to create a saying, I would say women hold up the entire sky. Isn't it true, it's on you. Most of the time, it's on you. You are the ones that take care of your parents, you are the ones that probably take care of your kids, you are the ones who take care of everybody. From your pets, to your plants, but do you do you take care of yourself? International Women's Day. It's not just in the United States, it's internationally. Because as women, as women, it is our nature to nurture. It is our nature to give to everybody else, and how many times have I said this on the podcast, to give to everybody else except ourselves. If you haven't already made that change, if you don't honor yourself before you honor everybody else, today with this podcast, is the day that I would like you to start to make that change. Because when you honor who you are, then you have the ability to truly honor the entire world. Especially your children. If you are a mother out there, right moms day, are you teaching your children to honor their mothers? But are you teaching them how to be a great mother and a great mother is a woman is a woman who honors herself, who respects herself, who gives to herself more than she gives others. And that is not selfishness, that is respect. That is strength. And that is what you want to teach your children, especially your little girls. So today is a special podcast. Because the title of this podcast is Women & Money. My life right now is totally devoted to making sure women are strong, smart and secure. And I can do that now, because I am strong, I am smart, and I am secure. And I wasn't always that way. I know what it's like to be insecure, I know what it's like to give to others and to make it like you don't even matter. I've done that for the majority of my life. It wasn't until I was 50 years of age for the last 18 years now, that I have learned how to honor myself, to give to myself. And the more I do that, the more I can help you. The more than I can help the millions of women out there that need help. Not just with their money, but with their self-esteem, their self-worth, every part of their lives. So I feel like today, today is the day that we literally honor this podcast. Because we're honoring women. We're honoring you. And of course we always have to honor money. So happy International Women's Day, I hope, I hope that this podcast brings you that much closer to knowing who you are, what you think, and everything that you need to do to be able to show the world your strength by standing up for yourself, speaking up for yourself, saying what is true for you. Now before I go into the topic of today's podcast, which is stand up for yourself, if you want to be a part of this podcast, please write in to asksuzepodcast @gmail.com, ask me your questions, again, keep them short. And either I'll answer them on Ask Suze Anything which is on Thursday, sometimes I write to you directly, but you can do that. Also, we only have a few days left. It is next Saturday, which is my March 16th at the Apollo everybody, five p.m. Come on down. If you're in the New York area, tickets are $20 online, go to Apollotheater.org. Be part of it. Be part of it. An audience made up of women, an audience made up of women who want to be more, so that they can have, more so that they too can learn how to stand up for themselves. As I've been saying lately, if you like this podcast, please go to Apple podcast and rate it. Also, if you like the theme song Together We Will Survive, go to Spotify and listen to it. It's by Effie. Fabulous, fabulous song. Because it's as together as women sometimes it's really hard to do something all by yourself. But together as women, we can lift each other up, we can make sure that we all succeed. We can do it, but you have to be strong enough to lift yourself up as well so that you can give your strength to other women to help them find their own strength so that they can lift themselves up, and then, and then we will rise. So let's get to today's podcast. I love music, I love music because music really touches the heart. And sometimes when your heart is closed, then everything else in your life is closed as well. Because nothing really has any meaning when you can't feel the love that you have for yourself, and therefore the love that hopefully you have for others as well. I have a very, very good friend by the name of Tina Clark. And Tina wrote a song, and she wrote it for Aretha Franklin. And the name of the song is Stand up for Yourself. And Aretha actually recorded it. I just want to read to you the beginning words of this song. Because it's these words and the music that I really think so many women need to hear. Because you know everybody, you know, you have to be able to stand up for yourself. And the song starts with the words and they go like this, you say that you don't matter. What difference does it make? No one listens to you, so there's nothing here at stake. You choose to stay contented, to give your hearts away. To let another speak for you, don't you have nothing to say? Declare yourself. Declare your independence, give yourself a chance to make a difference. It's your life, you're right. And where this life leads you, life, be there, stand up for yourself. Now I tell you the words to this song, because recently I had a couple come to see me. And they wanted to talk to me about money. Because for the first time in their lives, they were going to come in to approximately $15 million. Which for both of them was more money than they had ever dreamt possible that would come their way. And they didn't know what to do with it, and they didn't know who to go and see, and they thought to themselves, I know. Suze, Susie will tell us what to do. So my doorbell rings one day and they come in because they're my friends. And we sit down and they tell me of their great good fortune. And both of them have been married previously, and this is their second marriage, maybe about 11 years of 11 years now that they've been together, and they really love each other. They are the perfect couple. And they're sitting there and I'm noticing that the man is telling me everything. And his wife, the woman, is just sitting there saying nothing. And he's telling me what he wants to do with it, and how it should be, and blah blah blah blah blah. And she is saying nothing. She was not standing up for herself. She was not using her voice. She was just somebody who was being silent. And of course I told them everything that I thought they should do, and what they should be careful of, and I set them up with somebody and all of that. And they left. Later on, I literally saw this woman again and I went up to her and I said why didn't you say anything? Where was your voice? Why were you so quiet? I bet you were thinking this. And I told her what I thought she was thinking. She said yeah that's exactly what I was thinking. And the thought was, well what about some of this money to take care of me if we don't stay together, and what about my security and everything that maybe I should want, and maybe do I get to have any money, because you know Suze I did, I gave up my career to be with this person. And I was making $165,000 a year and then I just decided okay, I'll just go be with this person. And I said but why didn't you say anything? And she said to me because I don't know. How I didn't know how to stand up for myself. Which is why obviously I opened up this podcast with the song Stand Up for Yourself by Tina Clark. So we had a long talk. And then later on, I happened to meet up with her husband. And I said to him listen to me, when you go see the financial advisor that I've set you up with, you have got to talk to this person and you have got to make sure that you put money away to take care of your spouse. And he said oh yes I'll do that, no problem. Because this was a good man. And this was an honest man. And of course he wanted to do that, but his wife had no idea. So it is so important that we talk to each other. That we are never afraid to stand up for ourselves and to voice our opinions and what we want for ourselves. Because if this woman had simply done it, she would know that her husband was willing to do that and she wouldn't have had to feel like she was just by herself and nobody cared about her and all closed and then out of touch with her heart as if what she would have said would not have made a difference so why should she even try? We have got to try. We have got to find our voice, we have got to say what we want and we have got to always stand up for ourselves.