Robert: November 17, 2024. Welcome to the Women and Money podcast,
Robert: as well as everyone smart enough to listen. Hi everybody,
Robert: it's Robert the producer back with you here for just
Robert: another moment as Suze and KT are still on their
Robert: break this week. They'll be back on Thursday, but today
Robert: what we're gonna do is revisit an episode from earlier
Robert: this year.
Robert: And this is a Suze Story that's a little bit different,
Robert: but it is very, very powerful. And here's Suze to
Robert: set it up.
Suze: Today we're going to be doing something different. We're going
Suze: to have a Suze Story. These are real
Suze: life stories. So listen to it because these are stories
Suze: that will relate to many of you out there. Go on, KT.
KT: Everyone remember there's always a blessing in Suze's stories. So
KT: I'm going to play the part of Deborah who actually
KT: wrote into Suze, and Suze will answer in her voice
KT: what she sent back to Deborah.
KT: Hi Suze, please help me. I am a mess. I
KT: was a very successful corporate employee, single mom, homeowner with
KT: a 401k, a Roth, financial cushion, etc. all that you prescribe.
KT: I tragically suffered the loss of my home when referred
KT: to an attorney who was supposed to be helping me
KT: with a loan modification back in 2014. He turned out
KT: to be a con man and stole from many, many people.
KT: He even filed 4 bankruptcies in my name to avoid
KT: the sale of my home so that he could continue
KT: to use its equity all completely without my knowledge.
KT: An exceptionally long convoluted story involving the district attorney and
KT: pending prison time for the con man, except Suze, he
KT: took his own life rather than face the consequences.
KT: My daughter and I were left homeless with no hope
KT: of restitution and no surviving family. All I had was
KT: in my home.
KT: I suffered a breakdown. I was unable to work for
KT: several years. However, I did put my daughter through college.
KT: At least there she had a roof over her head
KT: while I bounced around renting miserable rooms all while trying
KT: to heal mentally and emotionally with no one and nowhere
KT: to fall.
KT: All the money I had was slowly drained away by
KT: the attorneys, doctors, inpatient stays, storage fees for our home contents,
KT: and moving costs.
KT: I wanted to die, and I did try taking my
KT: own life several times.
KT: Oh, and I forgot to share that when this all happened,
KT: I was taking prerecs for nursing school. I planned to
KT: attend college while my daughter was away at college. That
KT: was my goal, my dream, until it was all taken
KT: from me.
KT: That was 10 years ago and I still do not
KT: own my own home. I still rent a room because
KT: I live in the Bay Area here in California, and
KT: whereas it was possible for one person to buy a
KT: home alone back in 1999, which is when I bought mine,
KT: it is completely impossible today.
KT: Indeed it is also impossible for couples in this area.
KT: Most share multi-family homes or must rent out rooms to
KT: bolster income enough to make the exorbitant mortgage payments here.
KT: I dropped out of school for a couple of years
KT: and then picked it up again and I'm about to graduate.
KT: So Suze, how do I put my life together again
KT: at 60 years old?
KT: Please, please help me. I feel such a let down
KT: to my daughter whom I worked so hard to provide
KT: for and leave something once my life is over.
KT: I'm willing to leave California but so afraid of making
KT: a mistake with so little in reserve now and so
KT: few working years left. I trust your judgment above all others.
KT: Can you please advise me?
Suze: My dear Deborah, life at 60 can really just be
Suze: a start for you, not an ending. You have to
Suze: believe that with all your heart. You have to look
Suze: at what you have, not at what you could have had.
Suze: Could have, should have, would have, I don't think so.
Suze: Now listen to me, Deborah. You have to stop thinking
Suze: of yourself as a victim. You chose this lawyer. You
Suze: were somehow responsible for not checking what was going on
Suze: after all those years. You obviously just trusted with never
Suze: checking your credit reports, so you have to own this.
Suze: So rather than looking at all that was taken from you,
Suze: I need you to look at all it has given you.
Suze: What was the gift you gave your daughter by teaching
Suze: her what can go wrong? And with all that, you
Suze: still put your daughter through college, a let down to
Suze: your daughter? Are you kidding me?
Suze: You showed her that a mom will do anything to
Suze: take care of her daughter. How did you let her down?
Suze: I want you to write it down. What that you
Suze: don't own your own home? Is that how you let
Suze: her down? That you don't have money? You don't drive
Suze: a fancy car? Go on, write all the reasons as
Suze: to why you let your daughter down.
Suze: That is what you think your daughter wants from you.
Suze: Your daughter only wants you to be happy, to love her,
Suze: but more importantly, to love yourself. Maybe you disappointed yourself,
Suze: but not your daughter. You showed her what a truly
Suze: strong woman can do, and now you are about to
Suze: graduate and live your dream.
Suze: Do not let your emotions, fear, shame, and anger get
Suze: in your way. Don't turn your back on the battlefield now,
Suze: not now, when you have finally won the war. And
Suze: you best get, Deborah, that life is not about what
Suze: you leave when you die.
Suze: It's about giving to yourself for once and let others,
Suze: including your daughter, do the same. Do you hear me?
Suze: Stop this right now and be the powerful woman you
Suze: were born to be. Now you go out there and
Suze: make some magic happen.
KT: Thank you, Suze. Thank you for taking your precious time
KT: to respond to me, for sharing your wisdom and reminding
KT: me of the value in all of this.
KT: You are absolutely right, of course. I just needed to
KT: hear that from you.
KT: From the person whose advice and framing I know I
KT: can trust in order to move ahead with real hope
KT: and purpose.
KT: I feel that today I can. Perhaps all is not lost.
KT: My daughter learned one of the most valuable life lessons.
KT: Never to trust or believe that everyone has your best
KT: interests at heart, even those referred to you and without
KT: negative online reviews.
KT: She has always been driven and a hard worker. I
KT: put that down in part to my nighttime readings, which
KT: was always one or two of your books. Indeed, as
KT: soon as she turned 16, she was excited to work
KT: and earn her own money to become independent and self-sufficient,
KT: and this was long before we lost our home.
KT: Since then her drive quadrupled. She managed to save over $190,000.
KT: Which because of what we endured she has invested following
KT: your advice and will not be tied to having to
KT: work after 45 if she chooses and for that I
KT: am truly grateful.
KT: She will have choices which are not available to those
KT: without a nest egg, and I am so relieved because
KT: of that.
KT: May I ask a question, Suze, about my finances going forward?
KT: Since all of this, I have little trust in my
KT: ability to make the best financial decisions. I have learned
KT: what not to do, but not what I should do
KT: with income from this point in my life onwards.
KT: How should I best invest some of what I earn
KT: after my monthly obligations are paid?
KT: What is a recommended vehicle for this in my circumstance
KT: as there are so many from which to choose.
KT: A path to follow one day at a time would
KT: bring tremendous comfort and reassurance.
KT: Thank you again, Suze, with all of my grateful heart. Sincerely, Deborah.
Suze: Deborah
Suze: I want you to ask your daughter for guidance. Empower
Suze: to help you as you have empowered her to help herself.
Suze: She will guide you, and the two of you will
Suze: figure it out together. If she has the ability to
Suze: have saved $190,000 she can teach you to do the same.
Suze: She will love that you are coming to her.
Suze: Now this circle has been completed.
Suze: You have to be wondering maybe, why did we choose
Suze: this particular story to tell you.
Suze: And there are so many lessons in this story. So
Suze: get out your little Suzie notebooks, because the lessons involved here.
Suze: Are what, what would you say they are? Trust yourself
Suze: with your money more than anyone, right? So one of
Suze: the major laws of money is trust yourself more than
Suze: you trust others. I find it very hard to believe
Suze: that Deborah didn't feel like something was going wrong during
Suze: this time, but sometimes we don't want to know, so
Suze: we just don't investigate it.
Suze: It's your money and what happens to your money directly
Suze: affects the quality of your life, not some lawyer's life,
Suze: not some financial advisor's life, insurance agent's life, but your life,
Suze: and you can see in this story.
Suze: How other people, one person, just one they came recommended
Suze: by the way.
Suze: How it totally affected Deborah's life, but when that does happen,
Suze: you have to have faith that everything happens for the best.
Suze: Write that down because look at what her daughter learned
Suze: from loss, not from gain, not from privilege, not from
Suze: all the gifts that you could buy her, not from
Suze: the new car you could have bought her, whatever it
Suze: may be. Look at the strength it made her daughter have.
Suze: And so many times, so many of you write me
Suze: and you feel so bad just like Deborah that you
Suze: couldn't give your children all the things you wanted to
Suze: you had to have them take out loans. You couldn't
Suze: do this. You couldn't do that.
Suze: Without even realizing.
Suze: How you gave them the greatest lesson in life.
Suze: Which is a lesson that all the money in the
Suze: world can ever buy.
Suze: And that is a lesson of strength, a lesson of
Suze: knowing that you can do it no matter what happens.
Suze: And that was what Deborah passed down to her daughter.
Suze: What would you say was the value of that lesson?
Suze: What would you say is the cost of that lesson?
Suze: It is a priceless, priceless lesson.
Suze: You might want to listen to this story over and
Suze: over again.
Suze: And ask yourselves the questions if this had happened to you,
Suze: what would you have learned? Deborah finally has learned to
Suze: honor herself.
Suze: Not everything she created as a corporate person in a
Suze: house and this or that, but to honor the gift
Suze: that she gave her daughter and now the gift that
Suze: she is going to give herself. What do you want
Suze: to say, KT?
KT: For me, what resonated most in the story is the same.
KT: But I say it a little differently. It's just have
KT: faith in yourself.
Suze: You have to, and you have to know that no
Suze: matter what happens in your life, you have to stand
Suze: in your truth and have the strength to carry on.
Suze: Never ever forget that.
Suze: So until next Thursday, KT, there's really only one thing
Suze: that we want you all to remember, and it's a
Suze: little bit different this week.
Suze: It's: stand in your truth and remain connected to your
Suze: own divinity. If you do that, what will happen, KT?
Suze: You will be unstoppable. Bye bye now.