1 00:00:46,799 --> 00:00:51,229 Robert: November 17, 2024. Welcome to the Women and Money podcast, 2 00:00:51,279 --> 00:00:54,479 Robert: as well as everyone smart enough to listen. Hi everybody, 3 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,200 Robert: it's Robert the producer back with you here for just 4 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,599 Robert: another moment as Suze and KT are still on their 5 00:01:00,599 --> 00:01:05,080 Robert: break this week. They'll be back on Thursday, but today 6 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,519 Robert: what we're gonna do is revisit an episode from earlier 7 00:01:08,519 --> 00:01:09,160 Robert: this year. 8 00:01:09,639 --> 00:01:12,910 Robert: And this is a Suze Story that's a little bit different, 9 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,839 Robert: but it is very, very powerful. And here's Suze to 10 00:01:16,839 --> 00:01:17,319 Robert: set it up. 11 00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:20,199 Suze: Today we're going to be doing something different. We're going 12 00:01:20,199 --> 00:01:24,470 Suze: to have a Suze Story. These are real 13 00:01:24,694 --> 00:01:29,434 Suze: life stories. So listen to it because these are stories 14 00:01:29,434 --> 00:01:35,285 Suze: that will relate to many of you out there. Go on, KT. 15 00:01:35,285 --> 00:01:41,084 KT: Everyone remember there's always a blessing in Suze's stories. So 16 00:01:41,084 --> 00:01:43,805 KT: I'm going to play the part of Deborah who actually 17 00:01:43,805 --> 00:01:48,315 KT: wrote into Suze, and Suze will answer in her voice 18 00:01:48,644 --> 00:01:50,684 KT: what she sent back to Deborah. 19 00:01:55,809 --> 00:02:00,010 KT: Hi Suze, please help me. I am a mess. I 20 00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:05,419 KT: was a very successful corporate employee, single mom, homeowner with 21 00:02:05,419 --> 00:02:11,820 KT: a 401k, a Roth, financial cushion, etc. all that you prescribe. 22 00:02:12,660 --> 00:02:17,119 KT: I tragically suffered the loss of my home when referred 23 00:02:17,119 --> 00:02:20,080 KT: to an attorney who was supposed to be helping me 24 00:02:20,369 --> 00:02:26,479 KT: with a loan modification back in 2014. He turned out 25 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:30,928 KT: to be a con man and stole from many, many people. 26 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:37,100 KT: He even filed 4 bankruptcies in my name to avoid 27 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:40,740 KT: the sale of my home so that he could continue 28 00:02:40,990 --> 00:02:45,630 KT: to use its equity all completely without my knowledge. 29 00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:52,889 KT: An exceptionally long convoluted story involving the district attorney and 30 00:02:52,889 --> 00:02:57,690 KT: pending prison time for the con man, except Suze, he 31 00:02:57,690 --> 00:03:01,649 KT: took his own life rather than face the consequences. 32 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:07,250 KT: My daughter and I were left homeless with no hope 33 00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:11,978 KT: of restitution and no surviving family. All I had was 34 00:03:11,979 --> 00:03:12,929 KT: in my home. 35 00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:17,479 KT: I suffered a breakdown. I was unable to work for 36 00:03:17,479 --> 00:03:22,119 KT: several years. However, I did put my daughter through college. 37 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,389 KT: At least there she had a roof over her head 38 00:03:26,679 --> 00:03:30,758 KT: while I bounced around renting miserable rooms all while trying 39 00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:35,839 KT: to heal mentally and emotionally with no one and nowhere 40 00:03:35,839 --> 00:03:36,589 KT: to fall. 41 00:03:38,929 --> 00:03:41,729 KT: All the money I had was slowly drained away by 42 00:03:41,729 --> 00:03:47,820 KT: the attorneys, doctors, inpatient stays, storage fees for our home contents, 43 00:03:47,970 --> 00:03:49,289 KT: and moving costs. 44 00:03:51,259 --> 00:03:54,490 KT: I wanted to die, and I did try taking my 45 00:03:54,490 --> 00:03:56,119 KT: own life several times. 46 00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:02,720 KT: Oh, and I forgot to share that when this all happened, 47 00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:07,809 KT: I was taking prerecs for nursing school. I planned to 48 00:04:07,809 --> 00:04:11,270 KT: attend college while my daughter was away at college. That 49 00:04:11,270 --> 00:04:15,050 KT: was my goal, my dream, until it was all taken 50 00:04:15,050 --> 00:04:15,570 KT: from me. 51 00:04:18,028 --> 00:04:21,859 KT: That was 10 years ago and I still do not 52 00:04:21,859 --> 00:04:25,259 KT: own my own home. I still rent a room because 53 00:04:25,259 --> 00:04:29,498 KT: I live in the Bay Area here in California, and 54 00:04:29,498 --> 00:04:32,699 KT: whereas it was possible for one person to buy a 55 00:04:32,699 --> 00:04:37,699 KT: home alone back in 1999, which is when I bought mine, 56 00:04:37,709 --> 00:04:40,609 KT: it is completely impossible today. 57 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:46,440 KT: Indeed it is also impossible for couples in this area. 58 00:04:46,809 --> 00:04:51,290 KT: Most share multi-family homes or must rent out rooms to 59 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:56,049 KT: bolster income enough to make the exorbitant mortgage payments here. 60 00:04:57,529 --> 00:05:00,119 KT: I dropped out of school for a couple of years 61 00:05:00,119 --> 00:05:03,920 KT: and then picked it up again and I'm about to graduate. 62 00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:10,178 KT: So Suze, how do I put my life together again 63 00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:12,339 KT: at 60 years old? 64 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:17,118 KT: Please, please help me. I feel such a let down 65 00:05:17,119 --> 00:05:20,519 KT: to my daughter whom I worked so hard to provide 66 00:05:20,519 --> 00:05:23,470 KT: for and leave something once my life is over. 67 00:05:24,859 --> 00:05:29,480 KT: I'm willing to leave California but so afraid of making 68 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:33,928 KT: a mistake with so little in reserve now and so 69 00:05:33,928 --> 00:05:39,000 KT: few working years left. I trust your judgment above all others. 70 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,200 KT: Can you please advise me? 71 00:05:43,339 --> 00:05:47,739 Suze: My dear Deborah, life at 60 can really just be 72 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:52,239 Suze: a start for you, not an ending. You have to 73 00:05:52,238 --> 00:05:55,970 Suze: believe that with all your heart. You have to look 74 00:05:55,970 --> 00:05:59,980 Suze: at what you have, not at what you could have had. 75 00:06:00,890 --> 00:06:05,200 Suze: Could have, should have, would have, I don't think so. 76 00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:08,769 Suze: Now listen to me, Deborah. You have to stop thinking 77 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:14,010 Suze: of yourself as a victim. You chose this lawyer. You 78 00:06:14,010 --> 00:06:17,890 Suze: were somehow responsible for not checking what was going on 79 00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:24,049 Suze: after all those years. You obviously just trusted with never 80 00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:28,720 Suze: checking your credit reports, so you have to own this. 81 00:06:29,178 --> 00:06:33,488 Suze: So rather than looking at all that was taken from you, 82 00:06:33,779 --> 00:06:39,010 Suze: I need you to look at all it has given you. 83 00:06:39,339 --> 00:06:42,980 Suze: What was the gift you gave your daughter by teaching 84 00:06:42,980 --> 00:06:47,380 Suze: her what can go wrong? And with all that, you 85 00:06:47,380 --> 00:06:50,980 Suze: still put your daughter through college, a let down to 86 00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:53,500 Suze: your daughter? Are you kidding me? 87 00:06:54,649 --> 00:06:59,239 Suze: You showed her that a mom will do anything to 88 00:06:59,238 --> 00:07:03,660 Suze: take care of her daughter. How did you let her down? 89 00:07:04,079 --> 00:07:08,679 Suze: I want you to write it down. What that you 90 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:11,279 Suze: don't own your own home? Is that how you let 91 00:07:11,279 --> 00:07:14,679 Suze: her down? That you don't have money? You don't drive 92 00:07:14,679 --> 00:07:19,440 Suze: a fancy car? Go on, write all the reasons as 93 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:23,119 Suze: to why you let your daughter down. 94 00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:27,040 Suze: That is what you think your daughter wants from you. 95 00:07:27,779 --> 00:07:32,049 Suze: Your daughter only wants you to be happy, to love her, 96 00:07:32,459 --> 00:07:39,089 Suze: but more importantly, to love yourself. Maybe you disappointed yourself, 97 00:07:39,339 --> 00:07:43,339 Suze: but not your daughter. You showed her what a truly 98 00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:47,100 Suze: strong woman can do, and now you are about to 99 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,660 Suze: graduate and live your dream. 100 00:07:50,329 --> 00:07:56,239 Suze: Do not let your emotions, fear, shame, and anger get 101 00:07:56,239 --> 00:08:00,119 Suze: in your way. Don't turn your back on the battlefield now, 102 00:08:00,369 --> 00:08:04,529 Suze: not now, when you have finally won the war. And 103 00:08:04,529 --> 00:08:07,959 Suze: you best get, Deborah, that life is not about what 104 00:08:07,959 --> 00:08:09,649 Suze: you leave when you die. 105 00:08:10,269 --> 00:08:14,260 Suze: It's about giving to yourself for once and let others, 106 00:08:14,519 --> 00:08:18,149 Suze: including your daughter, do the same. Do you hear me? 107 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:22,779 Suze: Stop this right now and be the powerful woman you 108 00:08:22,779 --> 00:08:26,339 Suze: were born to be. Now you go out there and 109 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,540 Suze: make some magic happen. 110 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:37,880 KT: Thank you, Suze. Thank you for taking your precious time 111 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,890 KT: to respond to me, for sharing your wisdom and reminding 112 00:08:41,890 --> 00:08:44,119 KT: me of the value in all of this. 113 00:08:44,950 --> 00:08:49,049 KT: You are absolutely right, of course. I just needed to 114 00:08:49,049 --> 00:08:50,239 KT: hear that from you. 115 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:55,039 KT: From the person whose advice and framing I know I 116 00:08:55,039 --> 00:08:58,840 KT: can trust in order to move ahead with real hope 117 00:08:58,840 --> 00:08:59,830 KT: and purpose. 118 00:09:00,969 --> 00:09:05,500 KT: I feel that today I can. Perhaps all is not lost. 119 00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:10,679 KT: My daughter learned one of the most valuable life lessons. 120 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:16,690 KT: Never to trust or believe that everyone has your best 121 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:20,840 KT: interests at heart, even those referred to you and without 122 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,228 KT: negative online reviews. 123 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:27,829 KT: She has always been driven and a hard worker. I 124 00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:31,830 KT: put that down in part to my nighttime readings, which 125 00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:35,549 KT: was always one or two of your books. Indeed, as 126 00:09:35,549 --> 00:09:38,750 KT: soon as she turned 16, she was excited to work 127 00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:43,179 KT: and earn her own money to become independent and self-sufficient, 128 00:09:43,510 --> 00:09:46,349 KT: and this was long before we lost our home. 129 00:09:47,729 --> 00:09:56,609 KT: Since then her drive quadrupled. She managed to save over $190,000. 130 00:09:58,169 --> 00:10:01,799 KT: Which because of what we endured she has invested following 131 00:10:01,799 --> 00:10:05,080 KT: your advice and will not be tied to having to 132 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:10,440 KT: work after 45 if she chooses and for that I 133 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:11,960 KT: am truly grateful. 134 00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:16,510 KT: She will have choices which are not available to those 135 00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:20,039 KT: without a nest egg, and I am so relieved because 136 00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:20,669 KT: of that. 137 00:10:22,059 --> 00:10:26,530 KT: May I ask a question, Suze, about my finances going forward? 138 00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:31,090 KT: Since all of this, I have little trust in my 139 00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:35,250 KT: ability to make the best financial decisions. I have learned 140 00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:39,098 KT: what not to do, but not what I should do 141 00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:42,599 KT: with income from this point in my life onwards. 142 00:10:43,950 --> 00:10:47,669 KT: How should I best invest some of what I earn 143 00:10:47,669 --> 00:10:50,419 KT: after my monthly obligations are paid? 144 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:56,409 KT: What is a recommended vehicle for this in my circumstance 145 00:10:56,409 --> 00:10:59,250 KT: as there are so many from which to choose. 146 00:11:00,429 --> 00:11:03,539 KT: A path to follow one day at a time would 147 00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:06,260 KT: bring tremendous comfort and reassurance. 148 00:11:07,719 --> 00:11:13,590 KT: Thank you again, Suze, with all of my grateful heart. Sincerely, Deborah. 149 00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:15,380 Suze: Deborah 150 00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:21,150 Suze: I want you to ask your daughter for guidance. Empower 151 00:11:21,150 --> 00:11:25,978 Suze: to help you as you have empowered her to help herself. 152 00:11:26,630 --> 00:11:29,030 Suze: She will guide you, and the two of you will 153 00:11:29,030 --> 00:11:33,339 Suze: figure it out together. If she has the ability to 154 00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:39,739 Suze: have saved $190,000 she can teach you to do the same. 155 00:11:40,229 --> 00:11:43,340 Suze: She will love that you are coming to her. 156 00:11:44,429 --> 00:11:48,299 Suze: Now this circle has been completed. 157 00:11:50,289 --> 00:11:54,590 Suze: You have to be wondering maybe, why did we choose 158 00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:58,150 Suze: this particular story to tell you. 159 00:11:58,909 --> 00:12:03,890 Suze: And there are so many lessons in this story. So 160 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:09,890 Suze: get out your little Suzie notebooks, because the lessons involved here. 161 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:15,229 Suze: Are what, what would you say they are? Trust yourself 162 00:12:15,229 --> 00:12:18,599 Suze: with your money more than anyone, right? So one of 163 00:12:18,599 --> 00:12:21,739 Suze: the major laws of money is trust yourself more than 164 00:12:21,739 --> 00:12:25,340 Suze: you trust others. I find it very hard to believe 165 00:12:25,340 --> 00:12:28,429 Suze: that Deborah didn't feel like something was going wrong during 166 00:12:28,429 --> 00:12:32,109 Suze: this time, but sometimes we don't want to know, so 167 00:12:32,109 --> 00:12:34,619 Suze: we just don't investigate it. 168 00:12:36,599 --> 00:12:40,469 Suze: It's your money and what happens to your money directly 169 00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:45,299 Suze: affects the quality of your life, not some lawyer's life, 170 00:12:45,549 --> 00:12:50,820 Suze: not some financial advisor's life, insurance agent's life, but your life, 171 00:12:51,109 --> 00:12:53,429 Suze: and you can see in this story. 172 00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:59,989 Suze: How other people, one person, just one they came recommended 173 00:12:59,989 --> 00:13:00,739 Suze: by the way. 174 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:09,539 Suze: How it totally affected Deborah's life, but when that does happen, 175 00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:14,210 Suze: you have to have faith that everything happens for the best. 176 00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:21,020 Suze: Write that down because look at what her daughter learned 177 00:13:21,020 --> 00:13:26,179 Suze: from loss, not from gain, not from privilege, not from 178 00:13:26,179 --> 00:13:28,739 Suze: all the gifts that you could buy her, not from 179 00:13:28,739 --> 00:13:31,299 Suze: the new car you could have bought her, whatever it 180 00:13:31,299 --> 00:13:37,978 Suze: may be. Look at the strength it made her daughter have. 181 00:13:38,539 --> 00:13:42,510 Suze: And so many times, so many of you write me 182 00:13:42,510 --> 00:13:46,280 Suze: and you feel so bad just like Deborah that you 183 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:50,500 Suze: couldn't give your children all the things you wanted to 184 00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,640 Suze: you had to have them take out loans. You couldn't 185 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,320 Suze: do this. You couldn't do that. 186 00:13:55,130 --> 00:13:57,159 Suze: Without even realizing. 187 00:13:58,419 --> 00:14:01,968 Suze: How you gave them the greatest lesson in life. 188 00:14:02,830 --> 00:14:04,750 Suze: Which is a lesson that all the money in the 189 00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:06,080 Suze: world can ever buy. 190 00:14:06,849 --> 00:14:11,739 Suze: And that is a lesson of strength, a lesson of 191 00:14:11,739 --> 00:14:15,309 Suze: knowing that you can do it no matter what happens. 192 00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:21,349 Suze: And that was what Deborah passed down to her daughter. 193 00:14:21,659 --> 00:14:26,159 Suze: What would you say was the value of that lesson? 194 00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:30,150 Suze: What would you say is the cost of that lesson? 195 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:34,799 Suze: It is a priceless, priceless lesson. 196 00:14:37,020 --> 00:14:40,330 Suze: You might want to listen to this story over and 197 00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:41,299 Suze: over again. 198 00:14:42,239 --> 00:14:46,219 Suze: And ask yourselves the questions if this had happened to you, 199 00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:51,869 Suze: what would you have learned? Deborah finally has learned to 200 00:14:51,869 --> 00:14:53,080 Suze: honor herself. 201 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,780 Suze: Not everything she created as a corporate person in a 202 00:14:57,780 --> 00:15:01,820 Suze: house and this or that, but to honor the gift 203 00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:05,380 Suze: that she gave her daughter and now the gift that 204 00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:08,580 Suze: she is going to give herself. What do you want 205 00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:09,729 Suze: to say, KT? 206 00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:14,140 KT: For me, what resonated most in the story is the same. 207 00:15:14,630 --> 00:15:17,340 KT: But I say it a little differently. It's just have 208 00:15:17,340 --> 00:15:19,640 KT: faith in yourself. 209 00:15:19,849 --> 00:15:24,369 Suze: You have to, and you have to know that no 210 00:15:24,369 --> 00:15:27,989 Suze: matter what happens in your life, you have to stand 211 00:15:27,989 --> 00:15:32,460 Suze: in your truth and have the strength to carry on. 212 00:15:33,169 --> 00:15:35,440 Suze: Never ever forget that. 213 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:40,650 Suze: So until next Thursday, KT, there's really only one thing 214 00:15:40,650 --> 00:15:44,020 Suze: that we want you all to remember, and it's a 215 00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:46,609 Suze: little bit different this week. 216 00:15:47,369 --> 00:15:54,520 Suze: It's: stand in your truth and remain connected to your 217 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:59,789 Suze: own divinity. If you do that, what will happen, KT? 218 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:06,030 Suze: You will be unstoppable. Bye bye now.