1 00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:53,520 Suze: March 31st 2024. Happy Easter. Everybody. 2 00:00:53,610 --> 00:00:56,290 KT: Yeah. Happy Easter Suze. What a beautiful morning. 3 00:00:56,610 --> 00:00:59,520 Suze: Welcome to the Women and Money podcast. As well as 4 00:00:59,529 --> 00:01:04,160 Suze: everybody smart enough to listen today, we're going to be 5 00:01:04,169 --> 00:01:05,839 Suze: doing something different. We're going 6 00:01:05,925 --> 00:01:11,914 Suze: going to have a Suze story. These are real life stories. 7 00:01:11,925 --> 00:01:15,525 Suze: So listen to it because these are stories that will 8 00:01:15,535 --> 00:01:19,705 Suze: relate to many of you out there. Go on KT. 9 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:25,544 KT: Everyone remember there's always a blessing in Suze's stories. 10 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,089 KT: So I'm going to play the part of Deborah who 11 00:01:29,099 --> 00:01:34,260 KT: actually wrote into Suze and Suze will answer in her voice, 12 00:01:34,269 --> 00:01:36,419 KT: what she sent back to Deborah. 13 00:01:41,410 --> 00:01:45,690 KT: Hi, Suze. Please help me. I am a mess. I 14 00:01:45,699 --> 00:01:51,279 KT: was a very successful corporate employee, single mom, homeowner with 15 00:01:51,290 --> 00:01:57,510 KT: a 401k, a Roth financial cushion, etcetera. All that you prescribe. 16 00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:02,819 KT: I tragically suffered the loss of my home when referred 17 00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:05,930 KT: to an attorney who was supposed to be helping me 18 00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:12,199 KT: with a loan modification back in 2014. He turned out 19 00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:16,679 KT: to be a con man and stole from many, many people. 20 00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:22,910 KT: He even filed four bankruptcies in my name to avoid 21 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:26,470 KT: the sale of my home so that he could continue 22 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:31,380 KT: to use its equity all completely without my knowledge, 23 00:02:33,089 --> 00:02:38,600 KT: an exceptionally long convoluted story involving the district attorney and 24 00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:43,320 KT: pending prison time for the con man except Suze, he 25 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:47,419 KT: took his own life rather than face the consequences. 26 00:02:49,679 --> 00:02:53,008 KT: My daughter and I were left homeless with no hope 27 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:57,788 KT: of restitution and no surviving family. All I had was 28 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:58,690 KT: in my home. 29 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,149 KT: I suffered a breakdown. I was unable to work for 30 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:07,869 KT: several years. However, I did put my daughter through college. 31 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,070 KT: At least there, she had a roof over her head 32 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:16,520 KT: while I bounced around renting miserable rooms all while trying 33 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:21,509 KT: to heal mentally and emotionally with no one and nowhere 34 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:22,309 KT: to fall. 35 00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:27,538 KT: All the money I had was slowly drained away by 36 00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:32,630 KT: the attorneys, doctors, inpatient stays, storage fees for our home 37 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,009 KT: contents and moving costs. 38 00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:40,190 KT: I wanted to die and I did try taking my 39 00:03:40,199 --> 00:03:42,000 KT: own life several times. 40 00:03:44,419 --> 00:03:48,479 KT: Oh, and I forgot to share that when this all happened. 41 00:03:48,699 --> 00:03:53,639 KT: I was taking prereqs for nursing school. I planned to 42 00:03:53,649 --> 00:03:57,020 KT: attend college while my daughter was away at college. That 43 00:03:57,029 --> 00:04:00,720 KT: was my goal. My dream until it was all taken 44 00:04:00,729 --> 00:04:01,428 KT: from me. 45 00:04:03,779 --> 00:04:07,580 KT: That was 10 years ago. And I still do not 46 00:04:07,589 --> 00:04:11,110 KT: own my own home. I still rent a room because 47 00:04:11,119 --> 00:04:15,179 KT: I live in the Bay area here in California. And 48 00:04:15,190 --> 00:04:18,359 KT: whereas it was possible for one person to buy a 49 00:04:18,369 --> 00:04:23,470 KT: home alone back in 1999 which is when I bought mine. 50 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,320 KT: It is completely impossible today. 51 00:04:27,899 --> 00:04:32,118 KT: Indeed, it is also impossible for couples in this area. 52 00:04:32,410 --> 00:04:37,070 KT: Most share multifamily homes or must rent out rooms to 53 00:04:37,079 --> 00:04:41,790 KT: bolster income enough to make the exorbitant mortgage payments here. 54 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,929 KT: I dropped out of school for a couple of years 55 00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:49,700 KT: and then picked it up again and I'm about to graduate. 56 00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:55,829 KT: So, Suze, how do I put my life together again, 57 00:04:56,269 --> 00:04:58,140 KT: at 60 years old? 58 00:04:59,329 --> 00:05:02,859 KT: Please please help me. I feel such a let down 59 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:06,238 KT: to my daughter whom I worked so hard to provide 60 00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:09,238 KT: for and leave something once my life is over, 61 00:05:10,630 --> 00:05:15,260 KT: I'm willing to leave California, but so afraid of making 62 00:05:15,269 --> 00:05:19,450 KT: a mistake with so little in reserve now and so 63 00:05:19,459 --> 00:05:24,769 KT: few working years left. I trust your judgment above all others. 64 00:05:24,779 --> 00:05:26,959 KT: Can you please advise me 65 00:05:28,988 --> 00:05:33,529 Suze: My dear Deborah life at 60 can really just be 66 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:37,820 Suze: a start for you, not an ending. You have to 67 00:05:37,829 --> 00:05:41,760 Suze: believe that with all your heart, you have to look 68 00:05:41,769 --> 00:05:45,850 Suze: at what you have not at what you could have had, 69 00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:50,890 Suze: could have should have would have I don't think so. 70 00:05:51,339 --> 00:05:54,529 Suze: Now listen to me, Deborah, you have to stop thinking 71 00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:59,679 Suze: of yourself as a victim. You chose this lawyer. You 72 00:05:59,690 --> 00:06:03,570 Suze: were somehow responsible for not checking what was going on 73 00:06:03,579 --> 00:06:09,589 Suze: after all those years, you obviously just trusted with never 74 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:14,368 Suze: checking your credit reports. So you have to own this. 75 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:19,039 Suze: So rather than looking at all that was taken from you, 76 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:24,179 Suze: I need you to look at all it has given you, 77 00:06:24,899 --> 00:06:29,299 Suze: what was the gift you gave your daughter by teaching her? 78 00:06:29,309 --> 00:06:33,328 Suze: What can go wrong and with all that, you still 79 00:06:33,339 --> 00:06:37,589 Suze: put your daughter through college a let down to your daughter. 80 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,299 Suze: Are you kidding me? 81 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:44,549 Suze: You showed her that a mom will do anything to 82 00:06:44,690 --> 00:06:49,269 Suze: take care of her daughter. How did you let her down? 83 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:54,390 Suze: I want you to write it down. What that you 84 00:06:54,399 --> 00:06:57,010 Suze: don't own your own home? Is that how you let 85 00:06:57,019 --> 00:07:00,459 Suze: her down? That you don't have money, you don't drive 86 00:07:00,470 --> 00:07:05,149 Suze: a fancy car, go on, write all the reasons as 87 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,869 Suze: to why you let your daughter down. 88 00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:12,769 Suze: That is what you think your daughter wants from you. 89 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:17,619 Suze: Your daughter only wants you to be happy to love her, 90 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:24,769 Suze: but more importantly to love yourself. Maybe you disappointed yourself 91 00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:28,920 Suze: but not your daughter. You showed her what a truly 92 00:07:28,929 --> 00:07:32,760 Suze: strong woman can do. And now you are about to 93 00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:35,380 Suze: graduate and live your dream. 94 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:42,059 Suze: Do not let your emotions fear, shame and anger. Get 95 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:45,929 Suze: in your way. Don't turn your back on the battlefield. Now, 96 00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:50,269 Suze: not now when you have finally won the war and 97 00:07:50,279 --> 00:07:53,760 Suze: you best get Deborah, that life is not about what 98 00:07:53,769 --> 00:07:55,440 Suze: you leave when you die, 99 00:07:56,019 --> 00:07:59,959 Suze: it's about giving to yourself for once and let others, 100 00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:03,940 Suze: including your daughter do the same. Do you hear me? 101 00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:08,540 Suze: Stop this right now and be the powerful woman you 102 00:08:08,549 --> 00:08:12,040 Suze: were born to be. Now you go out there and 103 00:08:12,049 --> 00:08:14,279 Suze: make some magic happen. 104 00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:23,589 KT: Thank you, Suze. Thank you for taking your precious time 105 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,600 KT: to respond to me for sharing your wisdom and reminding 106 00:08:27,609 --> 00:08:29,839 KT: me of the value in all of this. 107 00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:34,640 KT: You are absolutely right. Of course, I just needed to 108 00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:36,000 KT: hear that from you 109 00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:40,590 KT: from the person whose advice and framing. I know I 110 00:08:40,599 --> 00:08:44,619 KT: can trust in order to move ahead with real hope 111 00:08:44,630 --> 00:08:45,510 KT: and purpose. 112 00:08:46,719 --> 00:08:51,218 KT: I feel that today I can perhaps all is not lost. 113 00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:56,468 KT: My daughter learned one of the most valuable life lessons, 114 00:08:57,609 --> 00:09:02,229 KT: never to trust or believe that everyone has your best 115 00:09:02,239 --> 00:09:06,590 KT: interest at heart, even those referred to you and without 116 00:09:06,599 --> 00:09:09,030 KT: negative online reviews, 117 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,369 KT: she has always been driven and a hard worker. I 118 00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:17,580 KT: put that down in part to my nighttime readings, which 119 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:21,260 KT: was always one or two of your books. Indeed, as 120 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:24,579 KT: soon as she turned 16, she was excited to work 121 00:09:24,590 --> 00:09:28,900 KT: and earn her own money to become independent and self sufficient. 122 00:09:29,159 --> 00:09:32,140 KT: And this was long before we lost our home. 123 00:09:33,409 --> 00:09:39,010 KT: Since then, her drive quadrupled. She managed to save over 124 00:09:40,049 --> 00:09:42,390 KT: $190,000 125 00:09:43,929 --> 00:09:47,489 KT: which because of what we endured, she has invested following 126 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:50,739 KT: your advice and will not be tied to having to 127 00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:56,130 KT: work after 45 if she chooses. And for that, I 128 00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:57,710 KT: am truly grateful 129 00:09:58,940 --> 00:10:02,239 KT: she will have choices which are not available to those 130 00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:05,820 KT: without a nest egg. And I am so relieved because 131 00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:06,429 KT: of that. 132 00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:12,320 KT: May I ask a question, Suze about my finances going forward? 133 00:10:13,719 --> 00:10:16,869 KT: Since all of this, I have little trust in my 134 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,940 KT: ability to make the best financial decisions. I have learned 135 00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:24,780 KT: what not to do but not what I should do 136 00:10:24,789 --> 00:10:28,419 KT: with income from this point in my life onwards. 137 00:10:29,609 --> 00:10:33,270 KT: How should I best invest some of what I earn 138 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,150 KT: after my monthly obligations are paid? 139 00:10:37,549 --> 00:10:42,090 KT: What is a recommended vehicle for this in my circumstance 140 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:45,039 KT: as there are so many from which to choose 141 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,209 KT: a path to follow. One day at a time would 142 00:10:49,219 --> 00:10:52,059 KT: bring tremendous comfort and reassurance. 143 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:58,580 KT: Thank you again, Suze, with all of my grateful heart, sincerely, 144 00:10:58,590 --> 00:10:59,330 KT: Deborah 145 00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:01,039 Suze: Deborah. 146 00:11:01,969 --> 00:11:06,830 Suze: I want you to ask your daughter for guidance, empower 147 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:11,659 Suze: to help you as you have empowered her to help herself. 148 00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:14,718 Suze: She will guide you and the two of you will 149 00:11:14,729 --> 00:11:19,079 Suze: figure it out together. If she has the ability to 150 00:11:19,090 --> 00:11:24,599 Suze: have saved nd $190,000 she can teach you to do 151 00:11:24,609 --> 00:11:29,108 Suze: the same. She will love that you are coming to her. 152 00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:34,059 Suze: Now, this circle has been completed. 153 00:11:36,059 --> 00:11:40,400 Suze: You have to be wondering maybe why did we choose 154 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:43,880 Suze: this particular story to tell you? 155 00:11:44,650 --> 00:11:49,549 Suze: And there are so many lessons in this story. So 156 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:55,150 Suze: get out your little Suze notebooks because the lessons involved 157 00:11:55,159 --> 00:11:55,659 Suze: here 158 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,270 Suze: are what KT, what would you say they are? 159 00:11:59,609 --> 00:12:03,799 KT: Trust yourself with your money more than anyone. 160 00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:05,960 Suze: Right. So, one of the major laws of money is 161 00:12:05,969 --> 00:12:09,940 Suze: trust yourself more than you, trust others. I find it 162 00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:12,900 Suze: very hard to believe that Deborah didn't feel like something 163 00:12:12,909 --> 00:12:16,500 Suze: was going wrong during this time, but sometimes we don't 164 00:12:16,510 --> 00:12:20,340 Suze: want to know. So we just don't investigate it. 165 00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:26,089 Suze: It's your money and what happens to your money directly 166 00:12:26,099 --> 00:12:31,190 Suze: affects the quality of your life, not some lawyer's life, 167 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:36,789 Suze: not some financial advisor's life, insurance agent's life, but your life. 168 00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:39,219 Suze: And you can see in this story 169 00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:45,710 Suze: how other people, one person, just one that came recommended 170 00:12:45,719 --> 00:12:46,510 Suze: by the way, 171 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:52,260 Suze: how it totally affected Deborah's life. 172 00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:57,809 Suze: But when that does happen, you have to have faith 173 00:12:58,020 --> 00:13:03,609 Suze: that everything happens for the best. Write that down because 174 00:13:03,619 --> 00:13:09,549 Suze: look at what her daughter learned from loss, not from gain, 175 00:13:09,859 --> 00:13:12,919 Suze: not from privilege, not from all the gifts that you 176 00:13:12,929 --> 00:13:15,488 Suze: could buy her, not from the new car, you could 177 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,728 Suze: have bought her whatever it may be. 178 00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:24,979 Suze: Look at the strength it made her daughter have. And 179 00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:28,598 Suze: so many times so many of you write me and 180 00:13:28,609 --> 00:13:32,309 Suze: you feel so bad, just like Deborah that you couldn't 181 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:36,369 Suze: give your Children, all the things you wanted to, you 182 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,949 Suze: had to have them take out loans. You couldn't do this, 183 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,070 Suze: you couldn't do that 184 00:13:40,710 --> 00:13:42,880 Suze: without even realizing 185 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,700 Suze: how you gave them. The greatest lesson in life. 186 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,450 Suze: Which is a lesson that all the money in the 187 00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:55,580 Suze: world can ever buy. And that is a lesson of strength, 188 00:13:56,179 --> 00:13:59,419 Suze: a lesson of knowing that you can do it no 189 00:13:59,429 --> 00:14:01,010 Suze: matter what happens. 190 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:07,079 Suze: And that was what Deborah passed down to her daughter. 191 00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:11,900 Suze: What would you say was the value of that lesson? 192 00:14:12,729 --> 00:14:15,890 Suze: What would you say is the cost of that lesson? 193 00:14:16,429 --> 00:14:20,590 Suze: It is a priceless, priceless lesson. 194 00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:25,929 Suze: So you might want to listen to this story over 195 00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:27,049 Suze: and over again 196 00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:31,880 Suze: and ask yourselves the questions. If this had happened to you, 197 00:14:32,159 --> 00:14:37,599 Suze: what would you have learned? Deborah finally has learned to 198 00:14:37,609 --> 00:14:38,760 Suze: honor herself, 199 00:14:39,989 --> 00:14:43,380 Suze: not everything she created as a corporate person in a 200 00:14:43,390 --> 00:14:47,530 Suze: house and this or that, but to honor the gift 201 00:14:47,539 --> 00:14:51,090 Suze: that she gave her daughter and now the gift that 202 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:54,409 Suze: she is going to give herself. What do you want 203 00:14:54,419 --> 00:14:54,760 Suze: to say, KT? 204 00:14:55,419 --> 00:15:00,010 KT: Is that on this Easter Sunday... I think also for me, 205 00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:03,809 KT: what resonated most in the story is the same. 206 00:15:04,359 --> 00:15:06,929 KT: But I say it a little differently. It's just have 207 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:09,489 KT: faith in yourself. 208 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:13,960 Suze: You have to and you have to know that no 209 00:15:13,969 --> 00:15:17,690 Suze: matter what happens in your life, you have to stand 210 00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:22,000 Suze: in your truth and have the strength to carry on. 211 00:15:22,599 --> 00:15:25,119 Suze: Never ever forget that. 212 00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:30,419 Suze: So until next Thursday, KT, there's really only one thing 213 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,619 Suze: that we want you all to remember and it's a 214 00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:36,280 Suze: little bit different this week. 215 00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:45,400 Suze: It's to stand in your truth. Stand in your truth 216 00:15:45,590 --> 00:15:50,280 Suze: and remain connected to your own divinity. 217 00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:55,200 Suze: Until then if you do that, what will happen, KT? 218 00:15:55,619 --> 00:16:01,330 Suze: You will be unstoppable. Bye bye now.