1 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,949 Suze: December 8, what year KT? 2 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:41,500 KT: 2022. We have a real countdown. 2023 is around the 3 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,440 KT: corner everybody. 4 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,280 Suze: But you know what we have a real countdown to 5 00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:48,400 Suze: December 15 everybody. 6 00:00:48,850 --> 00:00:56,100 Suze: Have you gotten involved with the Alliant Suze Holiday Sweepstakes? 7 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:03,440 Suze: Because December 15 it is over where two of you 8 00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:07,440 Suze: could win $10,000 each. You gotta do 9 00:01:07,450 --> 00:01:09,510 Suze: do it. If you're not a member right now of 10 00:01:09,510 --> 00:01:10,240 Suze: the Alliant Credit Union. 11 00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:14,760 KT: Become a member today this is a really big chance 12 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,140 KT: to win. It's not like there's thousands of millions and 13 00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:22,479 KT: millions and millions of entries. You have a really big 14 00:01:22,490 --> 00:01:23,760 KT: chance to win. 15 00:01:23,890 --> 00:01:26,050 Suze: So very briefly 16 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:29,090 Suze: right? If you're not a member right now of the 17 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:32,830 Suze: Alliant Credit Union you wanna get a good return on 18 00:01:32,830 --> 00:01:37,350 Suze: your money right now it's at 2.60%. You open an 19 00:01:37,350 --> 00:01:41,250 Suze: account you put in at least $100 a month. You do. 20 00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:44,220 Suze: So every month for 12 consecutive months gets what you'll 21 00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:48,420 Suze: get $100 you're entered into the sweepstakes right away. 22 00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:51,200 Suze: And for those of you who are already a member 23 00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:56,480 Suze: don't you want more entries? Just give the link that 24 00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:01,250 Suze: you can get at my alliant dot com slash suze. 25 00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,940 Suze: That's S. U. Z. E. 26 00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:06,000 Suze: Get a link. If you already don't have one, give 27 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,270 Suze: it to a friend a family member. If they just 28 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,810 Suze: open up an account you get an extra entry and 29 00:02:11,810 --> 00:02:13,520 Suze: they're entered as well. What do you want to say? 30 00:02:13,530 --> 00:02:17,540 KT: The best Christmas gift or holiday gift that you could 31 00:02:17,550 --> 00:02:23,019 KT: ever give anyone is the Ultimate Opportunity Savings Account we 32 00:02:23,030 --> 00:02:27,169 KT: all need to save especially for next year. 33 00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:29,930 Suze: Right, so once again for those of 34 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,910 Suze: you who don't have an account yet, You go to 35 00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:37,800 Suze: My Alliant dot com. If you are already a member, 36 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,290 Suze: you have an account but you haven't gotten a link 37 00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:43,389 Suze: to send to friends that go back to you. So 38 00:02:43,389 --> 00:02:47,609 Suze: you both get extra entries. It's My Alliant dot com 39 00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:51,720 Suze: slash Suze. Okay Ms Travis... 40 00:02:52,230 --> 00:02:53,550 KT: Wait a minute! welcome to the Women and Money Podcast... 41 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:55,860 Suze: I totally forgot, 42 00:02:56,570 --> 00:02:58,840 KT: Hey everybody, this is KT, 43 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,280 Suze: This is Suze 44 00:03:00,290 --> 00:03:02,650 KT: Welcome to the Women and Money podcast 45 00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,959 Suze: and everyone smart enough to 46 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,040 KT: listen 47 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:11,470 Suze: This is the Ask KT and Suze edition. KT, what 48 00:03:11,470 --> 00:03:16,970 Suze: has your life been like with me lately watching gooooaaaalllll! 49 00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:22,649 KT: My God, Suze has become an absolute football queen and 50 00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:24,260 KT: I say football 51 00:03:24,650 --> 00:03:26,359 KT: as in soccer. 52 00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:27,370 KT: So 53 00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:31,150 KT: she's watching World Cup and she watches it absolutely faithfully 54 00:03:31,150 --> 00:03:34,280 KT: with Colo. The two of them sit in these really 55 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:38,080 KT: big chairs we brought in from outside in front of 56 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,900 KT: the television with a little table between them for snacks 57 00:03:41,910 --> 00:03:44,180 KT: and drinks and the two of them watch... 58 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:45,420 Suze: Drinks, what kind of drinks? 59 00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:46,140 KT: Well non-alcolholic drinks. 60 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,100 Suze: Right, we don't drink alcolhol. 61 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:51,900 KT: They sit there and they watch the game like all 62 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:52,869 KT: day long 63 00:03:53,050 --> 00:03:56,940 KT: and I run around doing Colo's job, doing Suze's job, 64 00:03:56,950 --> 00:04:00,510 KT: I'm cleaning, I'm washing and they just love it. And 65 00:04:00,510 --> 00:04:03,090 KT: every now and then if I'm outside I hear 66 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:09,000 KT: well I hear them both screaming, especially Colo, he loves soccer, 67 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,150 KT: he was a great player himself in Colombia. 68 00:04:12,590 --> 00:04:13,370 KT: Okay let's get 69 00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:15,700 KT: started. So this is 70 00:04:16,350 --> 00:04:18,510 Suze: Wait, I have one more thing to say. 71 00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:19,100 Suze: Right, 72 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:25,080 Suze: so last Thursday we did three questions and we went 73 00:04:25,089 --> 00:04:29,170 Suze: in depth with them. So many of you wrote in 74 00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:32,350 Suze: and you said you loved that format 75 00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:37,300 Suze: This day, we're gonna do three questions as well. But 76 00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:41,320 Suze: they're a little bit different in nature, the type of 77 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,790 Suze: questions they are because as you know, 78 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:51,290 Suze: I believe deeply that money is just not money. Money 79 00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:54,740 Suze: has a lot to do with your emotions, your relationship, 80 00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:59,600 Suze: your psychology, your fears, your shame, your anger, all of 81 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,680 Suze: those things. 82 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,430 KT: Yeah, these are personal questions. But I think many of 83 00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:06,860 KT: you will relate to it or certainly know someone that 84 00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:08,510 KT: has been in this situation. 85 00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:11,279 KT: So let me start with the first one. This is 86 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:15,089 KT: from Genevieve and she said, Hi Suze, I'm in a 87 00:05:15,089 --> 00:05:19,930 KT: tough situation. My partner Sam and I purchased our first 88 00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:26,290 KT: home together in December 2020. We put down 25,000 as 89 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:31,400 KT: our down payment and my grandmother contributed 10,000 of that. 90 00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:34,760 Suze: Hold on one second KT, I want all of you to 91 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,480 Suze: be doing as KT is reading. 92 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:40,660 Suze: I want you to get out your little notebooks again 93 00:05:40,670 --> 00:05:43,810 Suze: and I want you to write down these figures and 94 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,570 Suze: I want you to listen to this as if this 95 00:05:46,570 --> 00:05:51,420 Suze: was a problem in your family as this is something 96 00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:55,520 Suze: that maybe somebody is coming to you and asking you 97 00:05:55,529 --> 00:06:01,550 Suze: to solve. So play along with what would you tell 98 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,560 Suze: these people to do? 99 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,469 Suze: All right, KT, Go on. 100 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,730 KT: So then it continues. Genevieve said I financed the mortgage 101 00:06:09,730 --> 00:06:12,710 KT: to the house on my own since I was able 102 00:06:12,710 --> 00:06:16,840 KT: to get us a better interest rate. However, I still 103 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:20,589 KT: put Sam's name on the deed as joint ownership with 104 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:24,960 KT: rights of survivorship. We were engaged at the time 105 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,930 KT: and she did contribute towards our down payment too, though 106 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,320 KT: not as much as me since I make more than 107 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:35,800 KT: she does. Nonetheless. It all made sense at the time. 108 00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:39,860 KT: We also had combined our money into one joint checking 109 00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:45,270 KT: account back in 2019 and everything from that point on 110 00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:48,659 KT: was split 50-50. I know not... 111 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,180 Suze: Wait one second. I want everybody to take note 112 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,080 Suze: really on what Genevieve just said: 113 00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:59,760 Suze: she makes more than Sam 114 00:07:00,490 --> 00:07:07,240 Suze: but they put everything into a joint checking account where 115 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:13,670 Suze: they split everything 50-50. First mistake. Go on KT. 116 00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:17,290 KT: And and Genevieve said I know not very smart on 117 00:07:17,290 --> 00:07:20,200 KT: my end. Just as it wasn't smart of me to 118 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,840 KT: put her on the deed to the house. You ready everyone? 119 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:30,770 KT: Then she said in 2021, my grandmother moved in with us. 120 00:07:31,090 --> 00:07:35,420 KT: in July of this year, me and Sam broke up. 121 00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:38,940 KT: This is where it all starts to go downhill everyone. 122 00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:42,510 KT: We got our own separate bank accounts and now just 123 00:07:42,510 --> 00:07:47,400 KT: use the joint account to pay shared household bills. So 124 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,180 KT: we're still living together. I want to buy her out 125 00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,980 KT: of the house so I can keep it. Sam wants 126 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,460 KT: to sell the house. 127 00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:58,480 KT: My grandmother said she wants to give me however much 128 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,990 KT: money I need from the proceeds that she made for 129 00:08:01,990 --> 00:08:06,230 KT: when she sold her own home, which is currently under 130 00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:09,490 KT: contract to settle at the end of this month so 131 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:12,810 KT: that I can buy Sam out of the house. Sam 132 00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:13,640 KT: told me 133 00:08:14,030 --> 00:08:18,170 KT: that since the house is an investment and that she 134 00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:22,680 KT: partly owns that she will get charged capital gains taxes 135 00:08:22,690 --> 00:08:26,550 KT: unless she waits until the two year mark from the 136 00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:31,800 KT: date we closed our house on December 2020. Now, Genevieve 137 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:36,000 KT: is asking Suze, I thought capital gains taxes were only 138 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,630 KT: paid if you try to sell the house before the 139 00:08:39,630 --> 00:08:40,250 KT: two year mark. 140 00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:41,440 Suze: Wrong, go on. 141 00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:43,040 KT: Okay, 142 00:08:43,330 --> 00:08:47,240 KT: I had offered to gift the money to her and 143 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,500 KT: she alluded to that not being the right way to 144 00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:53,300 KT: do this. Here are my questions. Number one: 145 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,090 KT: am I going to have to pay any taxes on 146 00:08:57,090 --> 00:09:01,250 KT: the money? My grandmother gifts to me. Number two: is 147 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:05,260 KT: Sam going to have to pay capital gains taxes if 148 00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:10,790 KT: I buy her out in December? Number three: what about 149 00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:16,380 KT: the 10,000 my grandmother contributed towards our down payment. Should 150 00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:20,520 KT: she get that back from Sam's portion of the equity? 151 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:25,559 KT: Number four: once we get the house appraised in order 152 00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:29,390 KT: to find out exactly how much I'm going to owe 153 00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:34,010 KT: her for this buyout. Sam, ready for this Suze? Sam 154 00:09:34,010 --> 00:09:36,240 KT: wants me to sweeten the pot 155 00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:39,980 KT: and give her more than what it appraises for like 156 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:43,429 KT: five or 10 grand more because she says that if 157 00:09:43,429 --> 00:09:46,530 KT: we sold it, we could get more than what it 158 00:09:46,530 --> 00:09:51,920 KT: appraises for. Hence the reason she wants to sell and 159 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:56,240 KT: not let me buy her out. Wow. She said Suze, 160 00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:00,829 KT: any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm a faithful listener 161 00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:04,980 KT: and absolutely love listening to you and KT. 162 00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:07,359 KT: So how can we help her one? I'm going to 163 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,140 KT: give this to you so you can go through one 164 00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:11,120 KT: question at a time. 165 00:10:11,130 --> 00:10:16,260 Suze: Now everybody, before I even answer Genevieve's questions, 166 00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:21,180 Suze: This would not have been a problem. If the house 167 00:10:21,179 --> 00:10:24,730 Suze: had just been in Genevieve's name. 168 00:10:25,370 --> 00:10:30,260 Suze: If somebody can't contribute equally, if you haven't been in 169 00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:35,090 Suze: a relationship for a long time, if you needed money 170 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:38,030 Suze: from somebody else for the down payment, 171 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,410 Suze: like granny 172 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:46,190 Suze: and you are the one that is responsible for the mortgage, 173 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:52,270 Suze: than the other person's name does not belong on the deed. 174 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:56,770 Suze: So it may feel like that's harsh. You're in love 175 00:10:56,770 --> 00:11:00,350 Suze: with somebody. Whatever. Money is money. 176 00:11:00,890 --> 00:11:03,650 Suze: And unless you have an agreement 177 00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:08,620 Suze: that if you know the mortgage is just in your name, 178 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:14,240 Suze: then therefore the title to the house should just be 179 00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:17,250 Suze: in your name as what, what do you want to say? 180 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,420 KT: I h I have to share this with all of you. 181 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:24,540 KT: Suze and I have been together now for 21 years. 182 00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:25,860 KT: About 21 years. 183 00:11:25,870 --> 00:11:26,790 Suze: Almost 22. 184 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,020 KT: So I just want you all to know that when 185 00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:31,360 KT: we met each other 186 00:11:31,510 --> 00:11:37,240 KT: I had a beautiful fabulous home in San Francisco. Suze 187 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:41,730 KT: had a home in Oakland California. When we met each other. 188 00:11:41,740 --> 00:11:45,100 KT: We wanted to renovate the home. Suze put in the 189 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,200 KT: lion's share a huge amount... 190 00:11:47,530 --> 00:11:48,270 Suze: Two million dollars in fact. 191 00:11:48,890 --> 00:11:53,710 KT: ...in renovation. But I said to Suze this home is 192 00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:57,370 KT: in my name. I wanted in both names and she 193 00:11:57,370 --> 00:11:59,770 KT: said absolutely not. And I said why? 194 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,820 KT: She said, because KT I want you to feel secure. 195 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:08,450 KT: This is your home. We haven't been together long enough. 196 00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:11,760 KT: We don't know what the future holds. So I want 197 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,630 KT: you to always have a home 198 00:12:14,770 --> 00:12:19,130 KT: Suze, meanwhile had two homes at the time. Oakland and 199 00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:21,830 KT: New York City. So I just want to share that 200 00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:24,780 KT: with all of you. She kept that home in my 201 00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:26,819 KT: name I think forever right? 202 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:33,030 Suze: Yeah. Until we sold it. But the point is the person that you're with, 203 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:38,240 Suze: you have to trust enough that she or he wants 204 00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:41,400 Suze: as much for you as you want for them 205 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,819 Suze: and they should want to protect you. And if you 206 00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:48,600 Suze: are taking all the risk of your name being on 207 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,910 Suze: the mortgage then their risk has to be their name 208 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:57,230 Suze: is not on the title in case there is a breakup. 209 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:01,900 Suze: Especially if you gave the majority of the down payment. 210 00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:04,620 Suze: And a lot of it also came from a gift 211 00:13:04,630 --> 00:13:06,000 Suze: from granny. 212 00:13:06,429 --> 00:13:10,550 Suze: That's number one, all of you, that's a rule that 213 00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:15,640 Suze: you should do. So, my dear Genevieve. If granny, let's 214 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:20,920 Suze: just assume gives you $200,000. I don't know the amount, 215 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:25,560 Suze: but let's just say it's $200,000 to buy out Sam 216 00:13:25,570 --> 00:13:28,740 Suze: or 100,000 to buy out Sam. 217 00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:32,280 Suze: She's not gonna owe taxes on that money. You're not 218 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:35,740 Suze: going to owe taxes on that money because every one 219 00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:42,000 Suze: of us has what's called the lifetime gift tax exclusion. 220 00:13:42,550 --> 00:13:45,830 Suze: Just really in plain talk. It's how much money you 221 00:13:45,830 --> 00:13:52,770 Suze: can leave to somebody over your lifetime above the $16,000 222 00:13:52,780 --> 00:13:57,510 Suze: a year. Currently this year 17,000 next year. And currently 223 00:13:57,510 --> 00:14:05,740 Suze: that amount is about $12 million. Next year, it's going to almost $13 million. So if 224 00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:08,920 Suze: you're not planning on giving one person more than that 225 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:09,880 Suze: amount of money, 226 00:14:10,020 --> 00:14:12,900 Suze: I don't think I'd worry about it. Even though in 227 00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:16,290 Suze: 2025 it does go back down to somewhere in the 228 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,360 Suze: $5 million dollar area. 229 00:14:19,090 --> 00:14:23,229 Suze: But I think you're pretty safe. So I won't worry 230 00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:26,110 Suze: about that if I were you 231 00:14:26,670 --> 00:14:29,580 Suze: Is Sam going to have to pay capital gains tax 232 00:14:29,590 --> 00:14:34,300 Suze: if I buy her out prior to December? The key 233 00:14:34,310 --> 00:14:38,510 Suze: is how long have the two of you lived in 234 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:42,240 Suze: that house as your primary residency. 235 00:14:42,870 --> 00:14:49,400 Suze: And essentially you have lived in it since December of 2020. 236 00:14:49,950 --> 00:14:53,440 Suze: If you were to sell that house, whether it's to 237 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:58,380 Suze: somebody else or Sam is selling you her half. 238 00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:05,760 Suze: She gets a $250,000 exemption. This was not an investment, 239 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:10,840 Suze: this was a primary residency that both of you bought 240 00:15:10,850 --> 00:15:16,740 Suze: together and live in it. And if you have lived 241 00:15:16,740 --> 00:15:20,790 Suze: in it for two out of the past five years 242 00:15:20,810 --> 00:15:25,390 Suze: as your primary residency, because she's still living in it 243 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,820 Suze: and that will make December when that happens. 244 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:33,890 Suze: Alright, it'll be two years that you've lived in it. 245 00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:38,390 Suze: Make sure the date of December, What is when you 246 00:15:38,390 --> 00:15:40,990 Suze: buy her out to be safe? You might want to 247 00:15:40,990 --> 00:15:44,810 Suze: just wait til January of next year, which is just 248 00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:48,520 Suze: a few days away. Truthfully, she is not going to 249 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:54,360 Suze: owe anything in capital gains tax at all. If, let's 250 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:55,240 Suze: just say 251 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,510 Suze: it was an investment, 252 00:15:58,170 --> 00:16:04,300 Suze: she's owned it over one year. Therefore she would only 253 00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:08,570 Suze: have to pay capital gains tax. However, if she's not 254 00:16:08,570 --> 00:16:12,000 Suze: making at least like 40 some odd thousand dollas a year 255 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,770 Suze: or so, she would still only 0% in capital gains tax. 256 00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:21,950 Suze: Next year, if she is making under $44,000 a year, 257 00:16:21,950 --> 00:16:24,850 Suze: just let's say she is and this applies to all 258 00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:25,410 Suze: of you, 259 00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:28,960 Suze: no matter how much money you made in capital gains 260 00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:34,050 Suze: you owe 0% in capital gains. 261 00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:39,470 Suze: So capital gains tax is attached to how much money 262 00:16:39,470 --> 00:16:43,030 Suze: you are making. So no, this doesn't apply to her 263 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:48,870 Suze: and you, Genevieve should not be listening to anything 264 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:52,460 Suze: that Sam is telling you at this point in time 265 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:56,330 Suze: because it is obvious that everything she is telling you 266 00:16:56,340 --> 00:17:00,970 Suze: is for her benefit, nothing is for your benefit. And 267 00:17:00,970 --> 00:17:05,889 Suze: the only reason that she is benefiting is your generosity 268 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,399 Suze: that you gave her as well as the generosity of 269 00:17:09,410 --> 00:17:13,270 Suze: your grandmother. Number three: 270 00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:18,770 Suze: What about the 10,000 my grandmother contributed towards our down payment. 271 00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:22,410 Suze: Should she get that back from Sam's portion of the 272 00:17:22,410 --> 00:17:23,160 Suze: equity 273 00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:29,040 Suze: She should because she contributed to you being able to 274 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,280 Suze: buy the house. However, don't go there, 275 00:17:32,730 --> 00:17:38,250 Suze: don't do anything else that put Sam on alert and 276 00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:41,230 Suze: wants to make her more angry. What's that? 277 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:44,240 KT: I think goal is to get Sam out of the house. 278 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,619 Suze: Just get her out 279 00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:46,320 KT: of your 280 00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:51,860 Suze: life. So forget about that because really it's in the house. 281 00:17:51,869 --> 00:17:54,300 Suze: Although if she was ethical, 282 00:17:54,310 --> 00:17:58,790 Suze: she would be splitting that with you or taking the 283 00:17:58,790 --> 00:18:06,290 Suze: 10,000 off of whatever money she may. Next, she says 284 00:18:06,510 --> 00:18:11,110 Suze: that she can sell the house for more than the appraisal. 285 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:16,510 Suze: Well girlfriend, the price of houses are coming down. The 286 00:18:16,510 --> 00:18:19,399 Suze: best way to do it is not by an appraisal, 287 00:18:19,609 --> 00:18:23,500 Suze: is to have three real estate agents come in, 288 00:18:23,950 --> 00:18:30,909 Suze: give you what they think the house would actually sell for. 289 00:18:32,020 --> 00:18:35,860 Suze: And why and then maybe what you would do is 290 00:18:35,859 --> 00:18:39,080 Suze: you would average the price of all three of those 291 00:18:39,090 --> 00:18:45,970 Suze: and then subtract 6% for the real estate Commission. Since 292 00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:49,180 Suze: you would have to pay that if you sold it 293 00:18:49,190 --> 00:18:50,730 Suze: like she wants to 294 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:56,379 Suze: And give her half of whatever that amount happens to 295 00:18:56,380 --> 00:19:02,859 Suze: be that simple. But here's what you need to start doing. 296 00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:06,820 Suze: You need to be a little bit tougher. 297 00:19:07,460 --> 00:19:11,180 Suze: So that Sam doesn't feel like she can just say 298 00:19:11,190 --> 00:19:13,720 Suze: anything and you, Genevieve are going to do it. 299 00:19:14,410 --> 00:19:18,040 Suze: You need to start showing her that you know what? 300 00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:21,689 Suze: My grandmother made it possible for us to buy this house. 301 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,250 Suze: My credit score made it possible for us to pay 302 00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:30,470 Suze: less on this house. I contributed more to this house 303 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:31,890 Suze: to even get it. 304 00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:36,160 Suze: So don't be telling me that you want 50% now. 305 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,850 Suze: You can be nice. Yeah, 306 00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:39,890 KT: I would I would be very very 307 00:19:39,890 --> 00:19:40,700 Suze: firm 308 00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:43,770 KT: firm but kind when I said this and here's the 309 00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:47,689 KT: other thing that Suze's not putting in there have granny's 310 00:19:47,690 --> 00:19:51,760 KT: voice say something like you know, Sam I don't want 311 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,300 KT: to move from this house. I don't want to sell it. 312 00:19:54,580 --> 00:19:58,580 KT: I want to live here with my granddaughter and wish 313 00:19:58,580 --> 00:20:01,179 KT: we wish you well Sam goodbye. 314 00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:03,300 Suze: We'll try not to go so long. Everybody on the 315 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:06,010 Suze: next one. But the reason that I did 316 00:20:06,270 --> 00:20:10,210 Suze: is this is a problem that happens with so many 317 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:13,460 Suze: of you. It's not even funny, just so you know. 318 00:20:14,290 --> 00:20:18,040 KT: And this next one isn't a problem. But it's a real life situation. 319 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,910 KT: This may be all we need to talk about on 320 00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:25,260 KT: this podcast because this next one, every single one of 321 00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:26,570 KT: us one way or another 322 00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:30,909 KT: have to cope and deal with this next email. Ready? 323 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:36,100 KT: Taking care of mom. So true. Everyone. This is from Lisa. 324 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:40,360 KT: Hi KT and Suze. I've been a longtime reader and listener. 325 00:20:40,380 --> 00:20:43,379 KT: I heard you speak of your mother. So I thought 326 00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:46,900 KT: maybe you could offer some advice about my mother 327 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,570 KT: First, she is an amazing woman, raised six children and 328 00:20:51,570 --> 00:20:54,750 KT: has been an inspiration to all of us. 329 00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:56,550 Suze: You know, who's going to really be able to talk to this, 330 00:20:56,850 --> 00:20:58,000 Suze: is KT. 331 00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:00,000 KT: Don't make me cry. I don't want to cry. 332 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,000 Suze: 'Cause that's her. 333 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,000 KT: My mother, 334 00:21:04,690 --> 00:21:05,020 Suze: Her mother was an amazing woman. 335 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:09,129 KT: Let me get through this. Our father passed away at 67. Pretty much 336 00:21:09,130 --> 00:21:11,160 KT: true by the way, from my family. 337 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:15,300 KT: My mom was a widow at 60. She worked until 338 00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:18,800 KT: she was 80. Ready for this? 80 years old as 339 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:23,030 KT: a waitress and could have run circles around all of 340 00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:27,150 KT: us until the last year and a half. Ready? Mom 341 00:21:27,150 --> 00:21:31,250 KT: is now 90. She's had a series of medical issues 342 00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:36,590 KT: which have left her frail with mobility, cardiac, and breathing issues. 343 00:21:36,650 --> 00:21:39,790 KT: We tried for about eight months to keep her in 344 00:21:39,790 --> 00:21:40,890 KT: her own home 345 00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:44,680 KT: with health care workers coming in during the day and 346 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,560 KT: one of us spending the night with her. It was 347 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:52,960 KT: unsustainable for us to continue doing this. Financially and emotionally 348 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:57,740 KT: it has been hard. As a family, And with mom's consent, 349 00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:00,540 KT: we decided assisting living would be... 350 00:22:02,869 --> 00:22:03,600 Suze: Go on KT. 351 00:22:04,910 --> 00:22:05,390 Suze: Mhm. 352 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:09,200 Suze: You see it is emotional. Everybody. Yeah, 353 00:22:09,950 --> 00:22:10,910 Suze: It's okay. 354 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:12,620 Suze: It's okay. 355 00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:16,500 KT: I'm a little bit weepy because I'm the one out 356 00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:19,370 KT: of the six of my siblings that have to... that 357 00:22:19,369 --> 00:22:20,680 KT: moved my mom 358 00:22:21,420 --> 00:22:24,300 KT: and I'll never forget what that was like putting her 359 00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:26,520 KT: in assisted living. It was so sad. 360 00:22:26,530 --> 00:22:27,619 Suze: I was right there with you. 361 00:22:28,190 --> 00:22:28,980 KT: Okay, 362 00:22:29,650 --> 00:22:33,129 KT: as a family, and with mom's consent, we decided assisted 363 00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:35,629 KT: living would be the best option for us. 364 00:22:37,250 --> 00:22:40,790 KT: We had mom try a less expensive facility. But the 365 00:22:40,790 --> 00:22:44,550 KT: food was not good. The clientele were not always alert 366 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:48,730 KT: or everything. There were always issues. So the present facility 367 00:22:48,730 --> 00:22:52,000 KT: overall is a better fit for mom. But the cost 368 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,850 KT: will go up as her level of care increases. 369 00:22:56,270 --> 00:22:56,520 KT: We 370 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,510 KT: worry that mom will run out of money. Frankly, I 371 00:22:59,510 --> 00:23:03,290 KT: don't think any of us envisioned this scenario of mom 372 00:23:03,410 --> 00:23:05,209 KT: declining in this way. 373 00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:09,840 KT: The whole experience has been eye opening for our family. 374 00:23:11,630 --> 00:23:16,450 KT: None of us realized the expense involved in how devastating 375 00:23:16,450 --> 00:23:20,670 KT: the cost of elder care is. The whole experience has 376 00:23:20,670 --> 00:23:24,740 KT: made me worry about how all of us should be 377 00:23:24,740 --> 00:23:28,440 KT: approaching the fact that we may all need help as 378 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,770 KT: we get older. 379 00:23:30,350 --> 00:23:35,890 KT: Suze, any insights you could offer. And again, this isn't 380 00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:39,409 KT: a solution email. It's a it's a fact of life. 381 00:23:39,410 --> 00:23:40,670 KT: It's a reality. 382 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,050 Suze: Oh, 383 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,790 KT: We took good care of my mom and Suze took great, 384 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:52,629 KT: great care of her mother in a private facility. 385 00:23:53,550 --> 00:23:58,869 Suze: KT, your mother had a private room and private help that 386 00:23:58,869 --> 00:24:00,810 Suze: I got her, right. 387 00:24:01,260 --> 00:24:04,020 KT: But the person that took my took care of my mother 388 00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:05,620 KT: the most was my twin sister. 389 00:24:05,630 --> 00:24:07,970 Suze: What I wanted to say there is that 390 00:24:08,140 --> 00:24:13,190 Suze: yes, I was able to take care of everything because 391 00:24:13,190 --> 00:24:16,190 Suze: I had so much money. But all the money in 392 00:24:16,190 --> 00:24:21,070 Suze: the world never could have replaced KT's sister Lynn. 393 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:24,669 KT: Let me tell them what she did. She would go 394 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:29,480 KT: every afternoon after work, four o'clock, to my mom's room 395 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,270 KT: and they'd watch Oprah together and then Lynn would stay 396 00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:34,450 KT: there and wait till her meal tray came 397 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,900 KT: and would help her cut all the food and feed 398 00:24:37,900 --> 00:24:41,130 KT: her because she couldn't use her hands at the end. 399 00:24:41,430 --> 00:24:43,040 Suze: For years actually. 400 00:24:43,050 --> 00:24:47,870 KT: Yeah. And and my mother - Lynn was so loyal of 401 00:24:47,869 --> 00:24:51,609 KT: all of us, Lynn was the one. But we had 402 00:24:51,609 --> 00:24:55,290 KT: six siblings, what if you're just one person listening and 403 00:24:55,290 --> 00:24:58,260 KT: you know that your mom or dad is getting older, 404 00:24:58,270 --> 00:25:00,870 KT: what are you going to do? And then I mean 405 00:25:00,869 --> 00:25:02,780 KT: this is a great, great 406 00:25:02,990 --> 00:25:05,530 KT: email because it's so true. 407 00:25:05,540 --> 00:25:09,590 Suze: You know, it's coincidental everybody that today. 408 00:25:10,730 --> 00:25:15,359 Suze: And this is again December 8th, at one p.m. East 409 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,909 Suze: coast time. If you go to the women and money 410 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:19,600 Suze: app 411 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,429 Suze: there is, if you look on the wall there, there 412 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:27,700 Suze: is one of the postings that gives you the link 413 00:25:27,730 --> 00:25:32,409 Suze: to go to a free webinar today where it's about 414 00:25:32,420 --> 00:25:37,890 Suze: care givers. And Phyllis Shelton will also be there. And 415 00:25:37,890 --> 00:25:42,920 Suze: Phyllis Shelton in my opinion is really one of the 416 00:25:42,930 --> 00:25:47,560 Suze: experts if not the expert on long term care. 417 00:25:48,020 --> 00:25:52,470 Suze: And these are things that you need to learn about 418 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,620 Suze: because when you are a caregiver it's a big deal. 419 00:25:56,630 --> 00:26:02,410 Suze: So today's webinar is about caregiving and alternatives for you. 420 00:26:02,420 --> 00:26:05,350 Suze: Especially if you don't have a lot of money. But 421 00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:09,100 Suze: also hopefully it will give you the information of how 422 00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:13,129 Suze: to contact Phyllis Shelton. If you either have long term 423 00:26:13,130 --> 00:26:15,500 Suze: care and you just want to check out your policy 424 00:26:15,510 --> 00:26:17,060 Suze: and or 425 00:26:17,250 --> 00:26:21,359 Suze: you're thinking about buying a long term care insurance policy. 426 00:26:21,390 --> 00:26:26,449 Suze: Do not do it without contacting Phyllis. She's honest. She's 427 00:26:26,450 --> 00:26:28,810 Suze: not going to be there just to sell you something. 428 00:26:28,820 --> 00:26:31,890 Suze: She has been there and she has helped hundreds of 429 00:26:31,890 --> 00:26:34,800 Suze: you for free, over the years. 430 00:26:34,810 --> 00:26:38,930 KT: I have my own long term care policy and Phyllis 431 00:26:38,940 --> 00:26:41,580 KT: um set me up with that. It's a great one. 432 00:26:41,590 --> 00:26:43,760 Suze: Yeah. If I could, 433 00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:48,010 Suze: I would have a long term care insurance policy but 434 00:26:48,020 --> 00:26:52,030 Suze: I don't qualify for one. So do not wait because 435 00:26:52,030 --> 00:26:57,369 Suze: you never know when your health can change. Okay. So 436 00:26:57,369 --> 00:27:00,320 Suze: Lisa that's kind of the answer 437 00:27:00,750 --> 00:27:03,940 Suze: you asked me, you know what can you do? 438 00:27:03,950 --> 00:27:07,120 KT: Yeah, Lisa and her siblings I think range from something 439 00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:12,070 KT: like 50-60, 50 something to their early 60s. 440 00:27:12,070 --> 00:27:16,530 Suze: Yeah. So this is the time that you now start looking, really. 441 00:27:16,540 --> 00:27:22,880 Suze: If you can afford it into long term care insurance. 442 00:27:23,180 --> 00:27:25,970 Suze: The other thing, I just want to say one other thing, 443 00:27:25,970 --> 00:27:27,290 Suze: KT, 444 00:27:27,690 --> 00:27:31,399 Suze: it's really important that families have a conversation 445 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:37,300 Suze: and they have a conversation with their parents as well. 446 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:44,399 Suze: I tried and I tried and I tried to buy 447 00:27:44,410 --> 00:27:50,720 Suze: a long-term care insurance policy for my mother and I 448 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:55,580 Suze: started this when she was 66 years of age. My 449 00:27:55,580 --> 00:27:58,629 Suze: mother said to me, there is no way I'm going 450 00:27:58,630 --> 00:28:01,500 Suze: to allow you to buy me a long-term care insurance policy. 451 00:28:01,540 --> 00:28:04,260 Suze: I am never going to need it. I am always 452 00:28:04,260 --> 00:28:05,770 Suze: going to be independent. 453 00:28:06,550 --> 00:28:10,420 Suze: And even when I would buy one for her and 454 00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:13,150 Suze: then they would have to give her an examination. She 455 00:28:13,150 --> 00:28:14,740 Suze: wouldn't do it. 456 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,619 KT: And that's one of the qualifications, 457 00:28:16,810 --> 00:28:17,640 Suze: Yeah, a medical, 458 00:28:18,710 --> 00:28:19,200 KT: You ave to have a medical exam 459 00:28:19,830 --> 00:28:22,210 Suze: She refused and she... 460 00:28:22,210 --> 00:28:26,169 KT: She was adamant about not having long term care. And and 461 00:28:26,170 --> 00:28:27,780 KT: in the end look what happened. 462 00:28:27,790 --> 00:28:33,510 Suze: I was totally responsible. She lived remember till 97 463 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:38,150 Suze: all for years. I begged her, my aunt and uncle 464 00:28:38,150 --> 00:28:40,660 Suze: listened to me. They did it. 465 00:28:41,310 --> 00:28:46,760 Suze: But in the end when she needed assistance and needed 466 00:28:46,770 --> 00:28:51,360 Suze: care I had to pay for it out of my 467 00:28:51,370 --> 00:28:56,010 Suze: own pocket to the tune of millions of dollars. If 468 00:28:56,010 --> 00:29:00,330 Suze: we had had a conversation with the family. Who's going 469 00:29:00,330 --> 00:29:05,720 Suze: to be responsible. If mommy needs care? Who physically is 470 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,520 Suze: going to be responsible and financially, 471 00:29:09,030 --> 00:29:11,270 Suze: maybe it wouldn't have all fallen on me. 472 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:17,600 Suze: So it is important that the parents have a seriously 473 00:29:17,610 --> 00:29:23,410 Suze: honest viewpoint of what could happen. The Children all have 474 00:29:23,410 --> 00:29:27,520 Suze: it and this really is a family affair. Do not 475 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:31,230 Suze: wait until you are later on in life. And that 476 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:35,530 Suze: is needed to have the conversation. You all need to 477 00:29:35,530 --> 00:29:38,890 Suze: agree while you're younger and... 478 00:29:39,390 --> 00:29:43,020 Suze: If long term care insurance is not in place, it 479 00:29:43,020 --> 00:29:46,070 Suze: would not hurt for all six of you in this 480 00:29:46,070 --> 00:29:50,490 Suze: situation to have been putting money every month into a 481 00:29:50,490 --> 00:29:55,410 Suze: fund to have to take care of Mommy later on. 482 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,300 Suze: So obviously we're out of time. So we only got 483 00:29:59,300 --> 00:30:02,740 Suze: 22 of them. I actually liked the third one, best 484 00:30:02,740 --> 00:30:06,780 Suze: of all, but we'll save that till next Thursday. So 485 00:30:06,820 --> 00:30:13,450 Suze: these are two questions that aren't just Ask KT and 486 00:30:13,450 --> 00:30:19,810 Suze: Suze Anything. These are two questions that I am begging 487 00:30:19,810 --> 00:30:22,230 Suze: you to ask yourself. 488 00:30:22,650 --> 00:30:26,470 Suze: And the two questions are: if you're buying a home 489 00:30:26,470 --> 00:30:30,860 Suze: with somebody else and the relationship doesn't work out, 490 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,450 Suze: how are you going to split it? How is it 491 00:30:35,450 --> 00:30:39,520 Suze: going to work? And that is to be committed by 492 00:30:39,530 --> 00:30:42,990 Suze: a contract between the two of you. So you know 493 00:30:42,990 --> 00:30:46,180 Suze: what to do. You're going to decide if you're going 494 00:30:46,180 --> 00:30:48,600 Suze: to put the other person's name on title. If you're 495 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:52,640 Suze: the one financing everything I suggest you do not. You 496 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,460 Suze: want to have this conversation when you are in a 497 00:30:55,460 --> 00:30:58,560 Suze: state of love, not when you are in a state 498 00:30:58,650 --> 00:31:00,800 Suze: of hate. That's number one. 499 00:31:01,130 --> 00:31:05,500 Suze: Number two, you really need to have a conversation with 500 00:31:05,500 --> 00:31:06,660 Suze: your family. 501 00:31:07,470 --> 00:31:12,780 Suze: As to who does what? How much can you each contribute? 502 00:31:12,790 --> 00:31:16,700 Suze: Can you afford long term care insurance? And you need 503 00:31:16,700 --> 00:31:21,510 Suze: to make sure that your parent or parents are involved. 504 00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:27,130 Suze: I am asking you all to do that now. Alright, 505 00:31:27,130 --> 00:31:28,340 Suze: Ms Travis. 506 00:31:29,180 --> 00:31:33,160 KT: That was a very emotional podcast. But really valuable. 507 00:31:33,170 --> 00:31:35,460 Suze: It was really emotional for you. 508 00:31:35,470 --> 00:31:38,750 KT: It always is. I miss my mom every day and 509 00:31:38,750 --> 00:31:43,219 KT: my daddy. But boy, we miss her so much. 510 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,480 Suze: Your mommy was so great. And you all know about me 511 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:51,450 Suze: and my mom and mom... I so wish that I 512 00:31:51,450 --> 00:31:52,340 Suze: could have... 513 00:31:52,770 --> 00:31:55,640 Suze: No, don't make me cry now. All right. That's it. 514 00:31:55,650 --> 00:31:56,350 Suze: It's over. 515 00:31:56,350 --> 00:31:57,340 KT: She's crying. 516 00:31:57,350 --> 00:32:00,530 Suze: Now until next week. Take it out, KT. 517 00:32:00,540 --> 00:32:03,660 KT: Okay. We want you all look at her, She's crying. 518 00:32:03,660 --> 00:32:08,080 KT: Suze's crying. Yeah, it's okay. We want you to all 519 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,600 KT: be safe, secure, smart and happy. 520 00:32:11,610 --> 00:32:17,590 Suze: Alright until Sunday. Just remember, stay safe. See you then. 521 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:18,230 Suze: Bye bye.