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KT: Okay everybody. It's September 1st and it's KT here and

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KT: I bet you all want to know how Suze is recovering. Well,

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KT: guess what? She's here. She's here and we're going to

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KT: sing for you. (Sings) See you in September...

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Suze: remember

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KT: we always do that. That's like my favorite song of

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KT: all time.

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Suze: So that was an easy surgery everybody. So just a little story...

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KT: Suze is like a trooper but I have to let her

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KT: not overdo it. So I'm keeping this podcast a little

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KT: bit short. I hope she doesn't go on and on

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KT: and on because I want her to rest. But

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KT: we want to thank everyone at Cleveland clinic for doing

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KT: such a fabulous job. What a great group of people.

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KT: So uneventful. I can't begin to tell you. So here

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KT: we go. Our first question is from Vai,

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KT: I have put money in a CD-account for my kids. Suze,

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KT: the rate is 2.10% for 24 months.

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KT: The penalty to withdraw right now is about $16. Should

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KT: I withdraw the money and put it into I bonds?

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KT: Mm Hmm.

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Suze: So here's the scoop girlfriend. If you don't need this

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Suze: money for at least five years or longer, I would

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Suze: absolutely take a $16

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Suze: penalty right now and switch to the I bonds for

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Suze: the kids. You can open one up as a minor

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Suze: account for them. You can do that in your own

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Suze: Treasury direct dot gov account because I think that the

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Suze: interest rate is going to be pretty good for next

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Suze: few years. Alright. However, if you need the money sooner

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Suze: than that,

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Suze: I would leave it where it is right now.

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KT: This is next question Suze, is from Georgiana. What a

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KT: pretty name. Georgiana. Dear Suze. I'm divorced. I'm a single

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KT: parent with full custody of my teenage daughter. I currently

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KT: have a term life insurance policy for 200,000 that I

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KT: opened in 2017 with my daughter as the sole beneficiary.

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KT: Now I don't want you to get riled up because

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KT: you're in recovery, Suze. But ready... I no longer work.

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KT: I'm on a fixed income due to a non curable

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KT: non terminal health condition. Recently the insurance company called to

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KT: talk me into converting into a whole life policy for 75,000.

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KT: My premium would increase ready from $30 to $132 a month.

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KT: I've listened to your podcast and only recall you speaking

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KT: about term life insurance. What is your opinion of whole

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KT: life for someone in my situation?

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KT: I know you should see your face. I'm supposed to

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KT: keep her calm.

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Suze: Here's what upsets me. Georgiana. You say you listened to

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Suze: the podcast. How can you have listened to this podcast

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Suze: and not have listened to all of these podcasts

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Suze: and know how much I seriously hate whole life insurance.

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Suze: What gives this away is in your email, you say

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Suze: that they called you? They went and talked to you

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Suze: to talk you into converting into a whole life insurance

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Suze: policy now. Why do you think that they would do that.

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Suze: Why?

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Suze: It's not like you went looking for something. They came

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Suze: to you saying, I know this is what you should

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Suze: do and on and on and on. I think if

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Suze: you are still insurable

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Suze: and I'm not sure you are because you say that

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Suze: you're not working, you're on a fixed income because you don't,

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Suze: you have something that can't be cured even though it's

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Suze: not going to really kill you. So I don't know

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Suze: if you're insurable or not. I also don't know how

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Suze: old your daughter is but a term life insurance policy

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Suze: and I also don't know how long the life insurance

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Suze: policy is good for.

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Suze: Right? So I get that she's a teenager. But is

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Suze: she 17 or is she...

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KT: 13.

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Suze: Right. Because really a child only needs life insurance usually

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Suze: up until the age of about 23, 25 to when

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Suze: they could be on their own. What good is $75,000

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Suze: going to do for her?

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Suze: Right. If you die versus $200,000. So no, I would

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Suze: not be doing this. If anything, what I would be

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Suze: doing is to see unless you have a 20 year

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Suze: level term policy which would bring you to 2037 when

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Suze: your daughter would be old enough. I would see if

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Suze: I could extend my term of the policy that I

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Suze: already have but I would not be doing a whole

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Suze: life policy

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Suze: and listen all you need to do is go on

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Suze: the Women and Money community app. And on the wall

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Suze: there you'll see you can search past podcasts

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Suze: Just put in the words whole life and you'll see.

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Suze: You'll see quite a few podcasts. All right. Just now.

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Suze: I hate in most circumstances, whole life insurance and one

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Suze: last thing you're on a fixed income and she's on

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Suze: a fixed income. But $100 more a month is $1,200

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Suze: more a year over 30 or 40 years. That could

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Suze: be hundreds of thousands of dollars.

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Suze: The

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KT: broker's making money not you.

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Suze: The broker is making you broker.

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KT: This is from Debbie. This is another concern. Mom. We

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KT: have lots of concern. Mommy's here.

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Suze: The last podcast was all about Dads.

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KT: I know well, listen to this. Hi Suze and KT,

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KT: my daughter opened a V. T. I with Vanguard. Are

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KT: they a discount broker? This is actually kind of sweet.

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KT: You suggested Fidelity and TD Ameritrade on Thursdays podcast. But

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KT: not Vanguard.

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KT: Should she transfer her money to? One of those mentioned,

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KT: she's only 42 and has years before retirement.

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Suze: There's absolutely nothing wrong with Vanguard. I love Vanguard funds.

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Suze: I love Vanguard brokerage firm. The whole thing. However,

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Suze: the reason that I normally don't say anything about them,

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Suze: but I tout their fund all over the place is because

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Suze: as far as I know as of last month, Vanguard

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Suze: doesn't offer slices of stock

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Suze: and I like Fidelity and Schwab when you can buy

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Suze: a slice You want to buy maybe a slice of Tesla.

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Suze: You like Tesla, but you don't have hundreds of dollars

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Suze: a share right to do that.

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Suze: You know to buy one share. So you could buy

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Suze: $10 worth of Tesla. You can't do that at Vanguard. However,

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Suze: you can't do that at T. D. Ameritrade either. So,

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Suze: I don't know why. I don't recommend Vanguard. I'll have

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Suze: to maybe add them to my list. But my true

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Suze: two favorites are Fidelity and Schwab. Just so you know.

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Suze: All right.

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KT: All right. This is another grandparent.

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KT: Our grandson is turning one in September. This is from Kathy.

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KT: What would be the best gift for his future. Should

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KT: we start a Series I bonds we were thinking of

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KT: starting with $1000 and giving a monetary gift each year

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KT: rather than toys. You're all for that Suze.

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Suze: You know, I am for that. But at one year

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Suze: of age

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Suze: it's also kind of the perfect time to start of

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Suze: 5 29 plan because over the next 17 years maybe

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Suze: you want this money for him or her to go

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Suze: to college. That money will probably grow more in a

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Suze: 5 29 plan than in a Series I bond.

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Suze: Because as interest rates come down here in the future.

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Suze: Three years from now. Four years from now. I bonds

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Suze: might only be paying 2%, 1%, 3%. So then you

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Suze: would be better off in a 529 plan.

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Suze: So it's difficult to know but you might want to

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Suze: do $500 right now in a series I bonds $500

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Suze: in a 529 plan or do only this year in

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Suze: a series I bond maybe next year and then start

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Suze: doing that $1000 a year in 529 plans. And as

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Suze: interest rates come down maybe you can then take the

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Suze: money out and put it all into a 5 29 plan.

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KT: I have a question.

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KT: What

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KT: if he doesn't want to go to college?

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Suze: Well if he doesn't want to go to college then

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Suze: obviously any money that they put into a 529 plan,

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Suze: they can take out what they put in. But anything

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Suze: that that money earned, they'll have to pay taxes on

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Suze: it plus a 10% penalty.

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Suze: Right? But it just depends. Right?

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KT: You never know. You never know what the future. It was good.

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KT: It was a diversified answer that for a description. This

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KT: is from Michelle,

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KT: My partner and I have been together for 27 years.

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KT: Where registered domestic partners but not married. Should we set

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KT: up individual trust or just have one joint trust?

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Suze: No, set up individual trust. Usually a joint trust is

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Suze: for people who are married a marital trust. But absolutely.

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Suze: Set up individual joint trust. Next

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KT: is from Cathy Mac

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KT: Hello. Should I purchase a warranty for this one's a

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KT: great one. I forgot this one I picked because it

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KT: pertains to you and me. Should I purchase a warranty

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KT: for a used vehicle? It cost over $2,000 for five years.

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KT: My vehicle is a 2013 Avalon with 54,000 miles. It

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KT: covers all electronics, AC etc.

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KT: Thank you. This is from Cathy. Now we don't you

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KT: and I have a car that's 10 years old but

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KT: it's not used but we don't have warranty anymore. And

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KT: you know what, let's tell the story about kevin.

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Suze: Yeah. So here's the thing that I've learned about cars

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Suze: and boats. It's now seriously, especially boats. It's almost as

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Suze: if every part that they put in a boat. An

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Suze: electronic part

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Suze: absolutely breaks three years to the date of when they

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Suze: put it in. So the battery goes in three years,

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Suze: The pumps going three years, everything goes in three years.

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Suze: I've never seen anything like it. Now. We love our car.

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Suze: We have had it now over 10 years. KT.

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KT: And about the same mileage 55.

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Suze: We have about 50,000 miles on it. But things have

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Suze: started to break

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Suze: On it and every time we take it in it's

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Suze: like 2000 here. 3000 there, KT keeps saying to me,

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Suze: why don't we just get a new car because I

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Suze: rather spend two or $3,000 or $4,000 once a year

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Suze: then get a new car. That's a whole lot more money.

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Suze: But wait, but our driver Kevin

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Suze: was talking to us that he and his husband have,

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Suze: both similar cars and they decided to buy a warranty

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Suze: on it because it's a little bit older. Sure enough,

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Suze: the month after they bought the warranty,

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Suze: Their car broke down, it would have been $4700 to

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Suze: fix it. And the warranty absolutely save them. So the

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Suze: answer to this question for you, Cathy is if you

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Suze: are going to keep this car, you're going to keep

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Suze: it for another five or 10 years. And you know

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Suze: exactly what the warranty covers?

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Suze: I have to tell you, I would fork out the

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Suze: $2,000 for it because over the next five years don't

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Suze: be surprised to see many things start to break.

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KT: And it's only 54,000 miles. That's the benefit. That's why

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KT: she wants to keep it.

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Suze: Well, we don't know if she she didn't say she

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00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:46,690
Suze: wanted to keep it, but if you're going to keep

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00:13:46,690 --> 00:13:49,429
Suze: it like we have no intention on any level of

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Suze: selling our car. You know, I'm fine keeping in another

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Suze: 10 years.

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00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,870
Suze: So if you're going to keep your car, get a

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00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,630
Suze: warranty and maybe Katie, we need to look into that.

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00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,210
KT: Yeah, I'm going to do that. It says this next

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00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:07,440
KT: one is from James. Dear Suze and KT.

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00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,679
KT: I absolutely love.

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00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:11,429
Suze: What was that?

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00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:16,329
KT: Because that's how he wrote it. He writes, Dear Suze. And

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00:14:16,330 --> 00:14:18,990
KT: then in parentheses, he goes, and KT.

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Suze: So what she's doing here everybody, she's...

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KT: I'm  sounding it out.

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Suze: She's sounding it and she's like dancing and I'm like,

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Suze: what made her dance?

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KT: Okay, James. I love that. You included me. Dear Suze

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KT: and KT.

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Suze: Hi

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KT: Suze. I absolutely love your Women and Money podcast. I'm currently

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KT: a 34 year old.

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KT: I have two traditional non Roth 401 Ks. One from

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KT: a former employer with around 80,000 in it. The other

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KT: with my current employer with 3000 in it. Both are

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KT: through Fidelity. I also have a traditional T. S. P.

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KT: 401 with 12,000 in it saved from this period of

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KT: active duty. Should I move everything to my current employer?

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KT: And does it matter when I do it, will the

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KT: market be up down so on and so forth. Thanks

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KT: Suze and KT.

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Suze: So James you absolutely, i f you wanted to have everything

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Suze: in one place you could actually transfer everything to your

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00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:28,370
Suze: current employer. But you would only do that if and

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Suze: only if the investments within the retirement plan at your

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Suze: current employers,

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00:15:36,420 --> 00:15:40,200
Suze: offers investments that you like, They give you the diversity

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Suze: that you want or better yet. Do you take all

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Suze: of that money and do an ira rollover with it

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00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:53,600
Suze: in one place where you have all the diversity in

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Suze: the world. You could buy slices of stock, You could

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Suze: buy anything that you want. You could convert little by

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Suze: little to a Roth I. R. A.

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KT: So

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00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:07,690
Suze: my preference always is if you have a lot of

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Suze: retirement accounts all over the place

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00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:15,050
Suze: rather than you know putting them all into your employer,

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00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:20,340
Suze: your current employer's 401k. Or retirement plan That's limited. Why

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00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:24,710
Suze: not do an ira rollover all in one place? Have

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00:16:24,710 --> 00:16:28,610
Suze: them there, you're diversified. You can dollar cost average, you

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00:16:28,610 --> 00:16:31,590
Suze: can convert when you want to to a Roth and

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Suze: do it that way.

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KT: Suze. This next question is from May and I was

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KT: very reluctant to include this in the lineup simply because

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00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:45,880
KT: it might open a can of worms. But because I

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KT: didn't understand what this was about. I thought might as

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KT: well educate everyone. Hi Suze and KT. I know you

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KT: don't like universal life insurance.

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00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:58,670
Suze: That is putting it mildly girlfriend.

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KT: But my question is, what are your thoughts about investing

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KT: in 7702 Indexed Universal life? That's why I picked this

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KT: because I have no idea what she's talking about as

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00:17:13,190 --> 00:17:17,990
KT: a way to diversify your investments and also avoid paying

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KT: income taxes in the future when you withdraw your money.

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KT: So I have no idea everybody what a 7702 is.

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KT: And I thought that Suze could enlighten us all right.

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Suze: God so

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00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:38,629
Suze: we all have to be on our toes as time

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Suze: goes on because

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00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:47,260
Suze: advisors or salespeople truthfully more than advisors will always figure

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00:17:47,260 --> 00:17:52,090
Suze: out a new way to present an old idea. Getting

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00:17:52,090 --> 00:17:55,910
Suze: you to think that it's a really great thing to do.

283
00:17:56,710 --> 00:18:02,240
Suze: The 7702 is simply an I. R. S. Tax code.

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Suze: And it came about a while ago. That's that's about

285
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:09,410
Suze: cash value life insurance policies and that the cash value

286
00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:12,969
Suze: had to be higher and it's just it's complicated. But

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Suze: no matter what it's not something that I want you

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00:18:17,869 --> 00:18:18,580
Suze: to do.

289
00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:23,460
Suze: The only reason that you can avoid paying income taxes

290
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:27,810
Suze: in the future on one of these universal life insurance

291
00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:34,609
Suze: policies or index policies or 7702 policies is because when

292
00:18:34,609 --> 00:18:36,429
Suze: you go to take money out

293
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:40,660
Suze: you take money out as a loan and loans are

294
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:45,570
Suze: not taxable according to the I. R. S. Now maybe

295
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:48,050
Suze: they charge you an interest rate on the loan. Maybe

296
00:18:48,050 --> 00:18:51,260
Suze: they credit you the same interest rate but it's a

297
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Suze: loan

298
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:57,159
Suze: And sometimes these policies can backfire on you as the

299
00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:01,080
Suze: mortality charges increase and Blah Blah Blah Blah. The other

300
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:05,300
Suze: thing is that it's just something that you don't want

301
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:08,040
Suze: to do. So can we just get this straight? So

302
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,919
Suze: all of you can stop writing in. I am never

303
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,350
Suze: going to tell you that a universal life variable life

304
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:18,050
Suze: or a whole life insurance policy in 99.9% of the

305
00:19:18,050 --> 00:19:20,899
Suze: cases is something that I want you to do.

306
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,090
Suze: I'm just not going to do that. So there you go.

307
00:19:25,090 --> 00:19:27,390
Suze: And I don't care what the name of it is.

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00:19:27,580 --> 00:19:28,119
Suze: There you

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00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:33,280
KT: go. Everybody now we all understand. Stay and steer clear.

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00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,230
KT: See it was the numbers. I was wondering what the

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KT: heck is that about? So Suze, we come to the

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KT: end of this podcast, we're cutting it a little short.

313
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,070
KT: Everybody she has to rest. But you said you had

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KT: a quizzie for me. That was a little bit different.

315
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:51,320
KT: A conversation quizzie.

316
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:52,460
Suze: I do a...

317
00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:53,950
KT: ...point of view quizzie.

318
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,609
Suze: I wanted to do a little bit different of a

319
00:19:56,609 --> 00:20:00,500
Suze: quizzie today I didn't want to do a yes no

320
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,590
Suze: answer type thing or right or wrong.

321
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:09,160
Suze: I got an email from somebody that really touched my heart.

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Suze: Now

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00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:13,750
Suze: you need to know I personally responded to this person

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00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:17,060
Suze: so they already have their answer from me but I'm

325
00:20:17,060 --> 00:20:21,290
Suze: always so curious as to how you would answer something

326
00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:28,440
Suze: like this. It's a thought provoking quizzie. A nd hopefully

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00:20:28,450 --> 00:20:32,710
Suze: it's a it's a learning quizzie for everybody listening

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00:20:32,950 --> 00:20:38,710
Suze: as to what I look for. When I read an email, right?

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00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:41,740
Suze: Hello Suze and KT,

330
00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:47,240
Suze: I am 28 years of age. My significant other is 40.

331
00:20:47,350 --> 00:20:52,520
Suze: He was previously married and he has about $100,000 debt

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00:20:52,530 --> 00:20:58,000
Suze: he incurred. I have no debt. He is planning to

333
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Suze: marry me by next year.

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00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:04,450
Suze: How do I protect myself from that debt? A little

335
00:21:04,450 --> 00:21:08,640
Suze: background on me. I earned my bachelor's and Master's degree

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00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,500
Suze: in nursing with no debt. Thanks to the military. I

337
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:17,280
Suze: start my doctorate in nursing in September this month with

338
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,440
Suze: no debt. I paid off my car. I also have

339
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,630
Suze: a T. S. P. That's a retirement plan. Everybody through

340
00:21:24,630 --> 00:21:30,750
Suze: the military a Roth 401k . And a personal Roth I. R. A.

341
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:34,260
Suze: I have a savings account at Alliant Credit Union. Thanks

342
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:38,040
Suze: to you. I started investing since I was 20 and

343
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:41,730
Suze: I made it my mission to not incur debt. I

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Suze: want to buy a condo but I want to save

345
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:48,139
Suze: up so I can at least put 25% down and

346
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,010
Suze: maybe a few years when the market cools off a bit.

347
00:21:51,730 --> 00:21:56,899
Suze: I am worried and afraid to marry someone with that

348
00:21:56,910 --> 00:22:00,590
Suze: much debt. Thank you for everything you do and stay

349
00:22:00,590 --> 00:22:02,110
Suze: safe and healthy.

350
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:09,100
Suze: So KT and everybody, we have a 28 year old here.

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KT: Very accomplished,

352
00:22:10,470 --> 00:22:11,670
Suze: very accomplished,

353
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,659
KT: very accomplished and responsible.

354
00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:20,879
Suze: Whose significant other is 40. And also I didn't read it.

355
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,840
Suze: But the significant other also has a child from a

356
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:28,450
Suze: previous marriage and has $100,000 in debt.

357
00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:32,250
Suze: What should she do? How does she protect herself?

358
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KT: Can I just tell you for me the key buzzword? There's

359
00:22:36,420 --> 00:22:41,679
KT: only one word in there that makes this answer very

360
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,909
KT: easy for me, Suze. And you know what that word

361
00:22:43,910 --> 00:22:50,570
KT: is "afraid." Who the heck talks about marriage? The person

362
00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:53,320
KT: they're in love with, the one you're supposed to want

363
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,630
KT: to spend the rest of your life with and be

364
00:22:55,630 --> 00:22:58,670
KT: afraid it doesn't work. It's oil and water. It does

365
00:22:58,670 --> 00:22:59,720
KT: not work.

366
00:22:59,950 --> 00:23:03,930
KT: Here's what I say. 28 years old. You're about to

367
00:23:03,930 --> 00:23:09,380
KT: start and focus on attaining a master's in nursing this month.

368
00:23:09,390 --> 00:23:15,480
KT: (Suze says: A doctorate). You don't have time to be afraid. Oh my God!

369
00:23:15,490 --> 00:23:19,550
KT: 28 years old. You do not have time my friend

370
00:23:19,550 --> 00:23:23,760
KT: to be afraid and to be worried about getting married

371
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:25,570
KT: next year to someone that

372
00:23:25,770 --> 00:23:31,980
KT: is already, you know, giving the association. Absolutely. I wouldn't

373
00:23:31,980 --> 00:23:35,710
KT: even say wait till he gets out of debt or

374
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,140
KT: I wouldn't even go there. I would say this is

375
00:23:38,140 --> 00:23:40,439
KT: not the right person for you.

376
00:23:40,450 --> 00:23:40,940
Suze: Alright,

377
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:41,869
Suze: So there is no right

378
00:23:42,690 --> 00:23:46,090
Suze: or wrong to this answer. So you don't get Or

379
00:23:46,090 --> 00:23:48,600
Suze: a Ding Ding Ding. But here's what...

380
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,040
KT: I want her to get a ding ding ding. And

381
00:23:51,050 --> 00:23:52,379
KT: personally Suze.

382
00:23:52,970 --> 00:23:59,180
Suze: Yeah. So here's what keyed me off. Right? So why

383
00:23:59,190 --> 00:24:01,740
Suze: I would not be doing this if I were you,

384
00:24:01,750 --> 00:24:04,760
Suze: I would not be getting married to him. And I'd

385
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:08,530
Suze: be thinking twice about this relationship. It's not because he

386
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:12,889
Suze: has $100,000 of debt. That's not it. There are a

387
00:24:12,890 --> 00:24:16,040
Suze: lot of people who have a lot of debt.

388
00:24:16,770 --> 00:24:18,970
Suze: But are they trying to get out on their own.

389
00:24:18,970 --> 00:24:22,030
Suze: Are they showing you that they're responsible? What else are

390
00:24:22,030 --> 00:24:26,540
Suze: they doing? What I didn't like about this email with

391
00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:31,200
Suze: this one line, KT that said he is planning to

392
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:37,280
Suze: marry me by next year. She did not say we

393
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,310
Suze: are planning to get married next year.

394
00:24:41,250 --> 00:24:46,280
Suze: This rings and don't get upset with me. But this

395
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:53,420
Suze: rings as a somewhat abusive relationship already. The age difference.

396
00:24:53,430 --> 00:24:57,380
Suze: Not that that means it's abusive, but he is planning

397
00:24:57,380 --> 00:25:02,070
Suze: to marry me by next year. I don't like that.

398
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,060
Suze: I wanted you to say in this email,

399
00:25:05,330 --> 00:25:08,619
Suze: I'm hoping that he gets to marry me or we

400
00:25:08,619 --> 00:25:14,280
Suze: are planning it. You tell me all about your life

401
00:25:14,330 --> 00:25:17,340
Suze: and everything that you have accomplished.

402
00:25:17,869 --> 00:25:21,660
Suze: And you say I want to buy a condo. You

403
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:24,990
Suze: do not say we want to buy a condo. You

404
00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:27,600
Suze: say I want to save up so I can at

405
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,320
Suze: least put 25% down. You do not

406
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,980
KT: say there

407
00:25:31,990 --> 00:25:37,150
Suze: is not one place in this email that uses the

408
00:25:37,150 --> 00:25:38,380
Suze: word "we"

409
00:25:39,369 --> 00:25:40,979
Suze: nowhere.

410
00:25:41,770 --> 00:25:43,410
KT: That's good that's a really good...

411
00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:46,330
Suze: that seriously concerns me.

412
00:25:46,340 --> 00:25:47,250
KT: Red flag.

413
00:25:47,260 --> 00:25:50,000
Suze: Red flag. So now all of you need to know.

414
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,399
Suze: And I keep telling you this that at times I

415
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:59,169
Suze: do answer you back and I wrote her back and

416
00:25:59,180 --> 00:26:05,570
Suze: I told her really that she was my daughter that

417
00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:09,250
Suze: I would tell her don't you dare marry this man

418
00:26:09,630 --> 00:26:12,420
Suze: right that I would move on so fast. It's not

419
00:26:12,430 --> 00:26:15,710
Suze: even funny. I told her that she's 28 years of

420
00:26:15,710 --> 00:26:19,090
Suze: age off to a great start. So don't screw it up.

421
00:26:19,090 --> 00:26:23,620
Suze: Now what was so sweet is she wrote me back

422
00:26:23,630 --> 00:26:26,810
Suze: and she said thank you so much Suze Mom, I

423
00:26:26,810 --> 00:26:30,700
Suze: will take your advice, Thanks for everything that you do

424
00:26:31,230 --> 00:26:36,840
Suze: Suze Mom now. But here's why I wanted to do

425
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:37,409
Suze: this quizzie.

426
00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:42,590
Suze: When you have a friend or anybody who's speaking to

427
00:26:42,590 --> 00:26:48,280
Suze: you about a relationship that they're in. Listen very closely

428
00:26:48,350 --> 00:26:52,489
Suze: to the words that they use, Do the words fear,

429
00:26:52,490 --> 00:26:56,189
Suze: shame or anger pop up. Do they only use the

430
00:26:56,190 --> 00:27:01,850
Suze: word i does we appear in the conversation or not?

431
00:27:02,430 --> 00:27:04,969
Suze: And it will really give you the clues that you

432
00:27:04,970 --> 00:27:08,290
Suze: need to help a friend or somebody who comes to

433
00:27:08,290 --> 00:27:14,110
Suze: you in a situation like this. Now before we end

434
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,790
Suze: this KT, I want to say something to you,

435
00:27:20,340 --> 00:27:22,330
Suze: right. I want to say thank

436
00:27:22,330 --> 00:27:23,129
Suze: you.

437
00:27:23,590 --> 00:27:27,219
Suze: I want to say thank you for how many times

438
00:27:27,230 --> 00:27:29,940
Suze: you've had to take care of me over the years

439
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:31,260
Suze: that we've known each other.

440
00:27:31,990 --> 00:27:35,379
Suze: My very first serious operation that I had

441
00:27:35,990 --> 00:27:40,390
Suze: When I was in Sloan Kettering in 2002 was one

442
00:27:40,390 --> 00:27:42,100
Suze: year after KT and I met

443
00:27:42,609 --> 00:27:45,930
Suze: and that was a serious operation. I've had so many

444
00:27:45,930 --> 00:27:46,840
Suze: since then.

445
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:51,130
Suze: And KT has been through it and I saw it

446
00:27:51,140 --> 00:27:54,160
Suze: as they took me in for a simple operation, like

447
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:57,470
Suze: a gallbladder. But I saw that look in your face

448
00:27:57,470 --> 00:27:58,700
Suze: again

449
00:27:58,710 --> 00:28:01,790
Suze: and you've had to take care of me so many

450
00:28:01,790 --> 00:28:04,820
Suze: times and I just want to say thank you.

451
00:28:05,510 --> 00:28:09,660
KT: You're most welcome. But guess what? We are in it together.

452
00:28:09,670 --> 00:28:12,609
Suze: I know, but I just want you all to know.

453
00:28:12,619 --> 00:28:15,969
Suze: I appreciate her more than you have any idea. And

454
00:28:15,970 --> 00:28:18,290
Suze: it's been so very very hard on her.

455
00:28:18,510 --> 00:28:19,720
KT: Oh no it hasn't.

456
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,070
Suze: But anyway, so with that not that I meant to

457
00:28:23,070 --> 00:28:27,140
Suze: cry there, but we only really want one thing for

458
00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:30,800
Suze: all of you and that's for you to all be smart,

459
00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:33,650
Suze: strong, safe and

460
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:34,730
KT: secure

461
00:28:34,740 --> 00:28:37,200
Suze: and healthy. Alright? We love you,

462
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,340
KT: Love you, Suze.

463
00:28:38,340 --> 00:28:41,210
Suze: Love you, KT. Talk to you soon, bye bye.