1 00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:03,140 Music: Music (in). 2 00:00:28,909 --> 00:00:33,970 Robert: July 13th, 2023. Hi, everybody. This is Robert, Suze's producer. 3 00:00:34,049 --> 00:00:37,528 Robert: Coming to you from a hotel room in San Francisco, California. 4 00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:41,880 Robert: I am almost finished as Suze puts it, gallivanting across 5 00:00:41,889 --> 00:00:44,729 Robert: the United States following Dead and Company. In fact, that's 6 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:47,418 Robert: why I'm here in San Francisco for the final three 7 00:00:47,430 --> 00:00:48,810 Robert: shows this weekend. 8 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:53,189 Robert: And as we thought might happen, schedules didn't quite align. 9 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:57,409 Robert: So today instead of an Ask Suze and KT Anything, we're going to 10 00:00:57,419 --> 00:01:01,150 Robert: present highlights from an episode from about a year ago. 11 00:01:01,340 --> 00:01:04,809 Robert: As I have been driving and flying across the country 12 00:01:04,819 --> 00:01:09,050 Robert: this summer, this particular episode which was originally called Don't 13 00:01:09,059 --> 00:01:12,500 Robert: Turn Your Back on yourself has been with me as 14 00:01:12,510 --> 00:01:15,629 Robert: I've met different people on this amazing journey. 15 00:01:16,169 --> 00:01:19,309 Robert: So Suze will be back on Sunday with a brand 16 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:23,580 Robert: new Suze school, but we're gonna pick up this episode 17 00:01:23,949 --> 00:01:30,139 Robert: where Suze is talking about how she chooses emails on 18 00:01:30,150 --> 00:01:34,050 Robert: Ask Suze podcast at Gmail dot com. Suze: 19 00:01:34,250 --> 00:01:36,419 Suze: I do this thing where I like, just spin them 20 00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:39,510 Suze: and up comes an email and I punch it and 21 00:01:39,519 --> 00:01:42,440 Suze: I go, ok, that's the one that needs my attention. 22 00:01:43,099 --> 00:01:47,150 Suze: And one after another, after another 23 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:49,519 Suze: were from women 24 00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:55,610 Suze: who were in their either mid forties, mid fifties, mid sixties, 25 00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:57,160 Suze: even mid seventies, 26 00:01:58,339 --> 00:02:04,440 Suze: all having been left by their husbands, their spouses or 27 00:02:04,449 --> 00:02:06,400 Suze: they've even chosen to leave. 28 00:02:07,309 --> 00:02:13,579 Suze: And somehow one after another, they've gotten themselves into a 29 00:02:13,589 --> 00:02:19,919 Suze: state of such incredible anxiety and fear that they are paralyzed. 30 00:02:20,429 --> 00:02:25,500 Suze: They are paralyzed from doing anything that is possibly constructive 31 00:02:25,508 --> 00:02:30,809 Suze: for themselves, possibly even positive for themselves. They have given 32 00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:33,479 Suze: up hope. They have given up faith. They have all 33 00:02:33,490 --> 00:02:37,429 Suze: decided that they're never gonna trust anybody again. They're always 34 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,570 Suze: gonna live a life of fear. They're never gonna feel 35 00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:43,679 Suze: secure and on and on and on. 36 00:02:44,550 --> 00:02:51,589 Suze: And I've spent hours and hours and hours writing them back, 37 00:02:52,070 --> 00:02:56,800 Suze: going through their finances with them, one by one statement 38 00:02:56,809 --> 00:03:01,399 Suze: by statement. Don't do this, don't do that. No, here's 39 00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:02,679 Suze: what I want you to do. 40 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:06,350 Suze: But even with the best advice from me, 41 00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:09,470 Suze: they're all like, I can't, 42 00:03:10,169 --> 00:03:11,169 Suze: I don't know. 43 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,309 Suze: So, KT saw that I was angry 44 00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:19,210 Suze: and whenever I'm angry, she said go to a podcast, 45 00:03:19,669 --> 00:03:21,100 Suze: go do a podcast 46 00:03:22,059 --> 00:03:25,789 Suze: because it's not about anger at them. 47 00:03:26,699 --> 00:03:29,690 Suze: It's about anger at the fact 48 00:03:30,529 --> 00:03:34,419 Suze: that we turn our backs on our own power. 49 00:03:35,990 --> 00:03:41,179 Suze: Anger because it really is all of our prefer found 50 00:03:41,190 --> 00:03:44,389 Suze: of loss that keeps us from gain. 51 00:03:45,190 --> 00:03:49,350 Suze: All of us are the ones anyway that I've been reading, 52 00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:51,779 Suze: they are holding on so tightly 53 00:03:52,610 --> 00:03:54,820 Suze: to the little bit that they have 54 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:59,520 Suze: that their hands aren't open to receive that, which is 55 00:03:59,529 --> 00:04:01,130 Suze: meant to come their way. 56 00:04:02,179 --> 00:04:05,460 Suze: And then you put on top of that. Some of 57 00:04:05,470 --> 00:04:11,130 Suze: the worst, the absolute worst financial advice I have ever 58 00:04:11,139 --> 00:04:15,550 Suze: seen in my life being piled on top 59 00:04:16,368 --> 00:04:20,128 Suze: of the fact that these women are emotional wrecks right 60 00:04:20,139 --> 00:04:24,489 Suze: now and rightfully so, it's never easy to be left. 61 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,459 Suze: It's also never easy to leave. 62 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,529 Suze: It's hard to do so, 63 00:04:30,579 --> 00:04:35,420 Suze: but sometimes you have to just get through it and 64 00:04:35,428 --> 00:04:36,670 Suze: it takes time. 65 00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:46,440 Suze: But to have financial advisors giving advice that is 1000% wrong. 66 00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:50,899 Suze: That would hurt these women. It makes me even go nuts. 67 00:04:51,630 --> 00:04:53,989 Suze: So of course, I do my best to try to 68 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:54,760 Suze: help them. 69 00:04:55,549 --> 00:04:59,040 Suze: And then I think about the Women and Money podcast 70 00:04:59,579 --> 00:05:02,429 Suze: and I think about how I've said now, 71 00:05:03,049 --> 00:05:06,659 Suze: not just on this podcast, but on the Suze Orman show, 72 00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:11,058 Suze: every talk I've given every book I've written every blog 73 00:05:11,070 --> 00:05:13,419 Suze: I've ever posted. I've said 74 00:05:14,410 --> 00:05:21,880 Suze: I hate variable and universal life insurance policies, but it's 75 00:05:21,890 --> 00:05:26,019 Suze: as if it goes in one ear and out the other. 76 00:05:26,890 --> 00:05:30,450 Suze: I tell you things that you should not be investing 77 00:05:30,459 --> 00:05:34,660 Suze: in and it goes in one ear and out the other. 78 00:05:34,670 --> 00:05:38,440 Suze: What happens to you when you sit down in front 79 00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:43,320 Suze: of a financial advisor. And he or she says to you, 80 00:05:43,369 --> 00:05:45,790 Suze: this is what I think you should do and you 81 00:05:45,799 --> 00:05:51,220 Suze: just say, ok, what causes you to give up your power? 82 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:57,609 Suze: What causes you to make moves that are so radically wrong? 83 00:05:57,619 --> 00:06:01,929 Suze: And that will hurt you financially speaking, rather than help you? 84 00:06:03,260 --> 00:06:05,809 Suze: Is it that you just want somebody else to take 85 00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:09,170 Suze: care of you? Is it because when you've been left, 86 00:06:09,178 --> 00:06:12,570 Suze: even if you have left someone you still want to 87 00:06:12,579 --> 00:06:15,130 Suze: be taken care of and you want to put your 88 00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:18,988 Suze: trust in the hands of somebody else that looks like 89 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,429 Suze: they can take care of you. 90 00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:25,029 Suze: I want you to be, what, what have I begged 91 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:28,019 Suze: all of you to be over these years? How do 92 00:06:28,029 --> 00:06:33,510 Suze: we end every single podcast to be strong, safe and secure? 93 00:06:33,609 --> 00:06:39,678 Suze: But to do that, you have to have common sense. 94 00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:44,880 Suze: You cannot just take a financial advisor's word for anything. 95 00:06:45,260 --> 00:06:49,230 Suze: If they tell you that you could simply put in 96 00:06:49,238 --> 00:06:53,890 Suze: $15,000 a year for 20 years and then you would 97 00:06:53,899 --> 00:06:58,549 Suze: have $1 million. Can you just simply do the math? 98 00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:02,010 Suze: Can you do the math and see if that is 99 00:07:02,019 --> 00:07:06,070 Suze: even possible? How much would your money have to earn 100 00:07:06,079 --> 00:07:10,049 Suze: per year for you to have $1 million 101 00:07:10,739 --> 00:07:12,309 Suze: after 20 years? 102 00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:18,440 Suze: But no, you don't. You just sit there and go, ok, 103 00:07:18,609 --> 00:07:24,290 Suze: I'll give you $15,000 a year. Ok, I'll do this. Ok, 104 00:07:24,299 --> 00:07:25,220 Suze: I'll do that 105 00:07:26,859 --> 00:07:32,049 Suze: I am telling you, you have more common sense within 106 00:07:32,059 --> 00:07:38,630 Suze: your body seriously, within your being than you have any idea. 107 00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:43,000 Suze: If you would just simply be willing to take the 108 00:07:43,010 --> 00:07:45,880 Suze: time to go within 109 00:07:46,609 --> 00:07:51,700 Suze: to ask questions to look at it on paper and 110 00:07:51,709 --> 00:07:55,989 Suze: say to the financial advisor. Ok, I hear that this 111 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,059 Suze: is what you say I'll have. Show me where it 112 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:02,579 Suze: says I'm guaranteed to have this 113 00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:04,670 Suze: show me, 114 00:08:05,540 --> 00:08:08,470 Suze: show me. But you don't, 115 00:08:09,329 --> 00:08:10,279 Suze: you don't. 116 00:08:11,529 --> 00:08:17,420 Suze: You continue to go into another relationship with blinders on 117 00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:22,540 Suze: feeling like, ok, I'll just do this. It'll be OK. 118 00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:30,130 Suze: I need you to come from this day forward from 119 00:08:30,140 --> 00:08:32,689 Suze: a place of common sense. 120 00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:38,118 Suze: I need you to come from this day forward to 121 00:08:38,129 --> 00:08:43,158 Suze: understand that your words and your thoughts are more powerful 122 00:08:43,169 --> 00:08:44,608 Suze: than you have any idea. 123 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,609 Suze: They have the power to create or the power to destroy. 124 00:08:48,619 --> 00:08:51,770 Suze: And the choice is up to you. When you say 125 00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:54,890 Suze: you can't, you never ever will. 126 00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:59,539 Suze: When you say you're never gonna trust anybody ever again. 127 00:09:00,469 --> 00:09:01,909 Suze: You never will. 128 00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:07,579 Suze: When you say I am never going to be secure again, 129 00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:09,460 Suze: you never will 130 00:09:10,169 --> 00:09:12,700 Suze: because your words are mantra. 131 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:17,900 Suze: Your words are what create your future. I've told you 132 00:09:17,909 --> 00:09:21,669 Suze: this before. I've told you be very, very careful about 133 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:25,570 Suze: what you think because what you think you eventually say, 134 00:09:25,580 --> 00:09:28,729 Suze: be very careful about the words you use because your 135 00:09:28,739 --> 00:09:31,880 Suze: words become your actions, your actions become your habits and 136 00:09:31,890 --> 00:09:33,869 Suze: your habits become your destiny. 137 00:09:35,359 --> 00:09:42,159 Suze: But yet I read it over and over and over again. 138 00:09:42,539 --> 00:09:47,049 Suze: And what you hear from me over and over again 139 00:09:47,789 --> 00:09:51,260 Suze: are the words that I've just said is the other 140 00:09:51,270 --> 00:09:54,299 Suze: saying I have, which is to be a warrior and 141 00:09:54,309 --> 00:09:57,760 Suze: to not turn your back on the battlefield. And what 142 00:09:57,770 --> 00:10:02,289 Suze: is that battlefield? That battlefield is your life? You are 143 00:10:02,299 --> 00:10:07,330 Suze: fighting for your own freedom. You are fighting for financial security. 144 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:10,760 Suze: You are fighting so that you can wake up one 145 00:10:10,770 --> 00:10:14,659 Suze: morning and feel true joy all over again. 146 00:10:15,950 --> 00:10:19,718 Suze: And yet then what do you say to me? But Susie, 147 00:10:20,070 --> 00:10:24,940 Suze: I never want to be dependent on anybody again. I 148 00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:30,140 Suze: never want my kids to know what I'm going through. 149 00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:33,280 Suze: And I'm sitting there thinking to myself, why not? 150 00:10:34,340 --> 00:10:36,679 Suze: You gave everything to those kids 151 00:10:37,359 --> 00:10:40,969 Suze: and when you need help, what is it women? What 152 00:10:40,979 --> 00:10:42,478 Suze: is it mothers 153 00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:48,510 Suze: that stop you from saying to your kids? I need help. 154 00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:51,919 Suze: I want your help. 155 00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:56,369 Suze: Your role is not to just make sure that everybody 156 00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:59,830 Suze: else is ok. Your role in life is to make 157 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,630 Suze: sure that you are ok. 158 00:11:02,390 --> 00:11:08,830 Suze: You a vital human being, a mother, a sister, 159 00:11:10,159 --> 00:11:11,239 Suze: a woman, 160 00:11:12,489 --> 00:11:13,619 Suze: a woman. 161 00:11:15,419 --> 00:11:19,309 Suze: And yet for some reason, you turn your back on 162 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:24,630 Suze: yourself to make sure that everybody is still ok. 163 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:27,760 Suze: And when you use words like that, 164 00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:31,679 Suze: when you don't want others to know the truth about 165 00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:34,820 Suze: what's going on in your life, do you think that 166 00:11:34,830 --> 00:11:37,819 Suze: you're hiding it from them? Do you think that they 167 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:41,140 Suze: don't really know? Of course they do. 168 00:11:41,919 --> 00:11:43,450 Suze: Of course they do. 169 00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:46,989 Suze: And if they're your Children who really love you and 170 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,500 Suze: you love them, they can feel your pain 171 00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:54,369 Suze: and they want to help you, but yet you don't 172 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,309 Suze: want them to help you, 173 00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:59,959 Suze: you rather just break your back and mow this lawn 174 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:03,590 Suze: of yours that is taking all weekend after you're working 175 00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:06,849 Suze: three jobs and you're working 20 hours a day and 176 00:12:06,859 --> 00:12:08,739 Suze: yet you still have to mow your grass and you 177 00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:10,590 Suze: still have to do this and you don't want to 178 00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:14,390 Suze: ask anybody for help. What is the matter with all 179 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,969 Suze: of you? So I'm angry, 180 00:12:17,719 --> 00:12:22,429 Suze: I'm angry because I know what's possible. I even know 181 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:28,969 Suze: what's probable. I've seen thousands of people turn their lives around. 182 00:12:30,260 --> 00:12:34,929 Suze: But those are people who are willing to use words 183 00:12:34,940 --> 00:12:35,780 Suze: of hope, 184 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:42,390 Suze: have feelings of encouragement to not sit there and dwell 185 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,789 Suze: in anger, 186 00:12:44,510 --> 00:12:48,359 Suze: dwell in fear and dwell in shame, 187 00:12:49,049 --> 00:12:53,218 Suze: which always brings me back to the three internal obstacles 188 00:12:53,229 --> 00:12:56,020 Suze: to wealth which are fear, shame and anger. 189 00:12:56,979 --> 00:13:01,049 Suze: And yet you choose, you choose to turn to that 190 00:13:01,869 --> 00:13:08,840 Suze: versus to turn in you and understand that everything that happens, 191 00:13:09,359 --> 00:13:11,239 Suze: everything is a blessing. 192 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:16,020 Suze: And I know that's not easy to say or easy 193 00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:16,929 Suze: to believe 194 00:13:17,739 --> 00:13:22,229 Suze: that you have to because what is your alternative? What 195 00:13:22,239 --> 00:13:25,630 Suze: else can you think? What else can you do? 196 00:13:26,780 --> 00:13:30,929 Suze: So this isn't a long podcast today and I'm sure 197 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:34,270 Suze: this isn't one that you expected to tune into. 198 00:13:34,989 --> 00:13:38,199 Suze: This isn't even one that I expected to do. 199 00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:42,450 Suze: But I know that when I feel like this, 200 00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:46,709 Suze: it's because not that I'm disappointed in you, 201 00:13:47,479 --> 00:13:51,468 Suze: but it's because I know what's possible for you. And 202 00:13:51,479 --> 00:13:54,890 Suze: I see many of you turning your back, 203 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:02,530 Suze: your thoughts, your feelings on the probability of true happiness 204 00:14:03,789 --> 00:14:05,880 Suze: of one day being able to say, 205 00:14:06,599 --> 00:14:09,089 Suze: oh my God, thank God. He left me 206 00:14:09,969 --> 00:14:12,280 Suze: or even thank God, she left me 207 00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:17,869 Suze: or thank God, I had the courage to leave. 208 00:14:19,330 --> 00:14:23,340 Suze: So I do this podcast in so much love for 209 00:14:23,349 --> 00:14:24,739 Suze: every single one of you 210 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:29,309 Suze: in the desire that every single one of you lives 211 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:33,590 Suze: your most fullest life a life when you wake up 212 00:14:33,599 --> 00:14:36,679 Suze: in the morning where you're happy to wake up, you're 213 00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:39,950 Suze: happy to go to sleep. You're happy to see people. 214 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:44,369 Suze: You are just happy and you feel fulfilled with every 215 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:45,789 Suze: breath that you take 216 00:14:46,679 --> 00:14:48,250 Suze: and how does that happen? 217 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:54,580 Suze: It happens by making sure that every thought, every action, 218 00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:59,570 Suze: everything that you do passes through the three gatekeepers that 219 00:14:59,580 --> 00:15:04,409 Suze: I've talked to you about. Is it kind, is it necessary? 220 00:15:04,419 --> 00:15:05,530 Suze: Is it true? 221 00:15:06,460 --> 00:15:10,090 Suze: Are you doing that or are you just finding it 222 00:15:10,099 --> 00:15:12,710 Suze: easier to dwell in your anger 223 00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,359 Suze: to reside in your fear 224 00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:19,929 Suze: and to really just sit in your shame. 225 00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:22,900 Suze: I am begging you. 226 00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,750 Suze: I am begging you to have faith 227 00:15:26,979 --> 00:15:31,510 Suze: that there is a life out there that is just 228 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,989 Suze: waiting for you to live it. 229 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,539 Suze: But you have to have faith that you're gonna get 230 00:15:37,549 --> 00:15:38,760 Suze: through this time. 231 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:42,989 Suze: You have to really believe from the deepest part of 232 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:43,989 Suze: your core 233 00:15:44,809 --> 00:15:48,919 Suze: that you can and will do anything 234 00:15:49,619 --> 00:15:54,049 Suze: that you will not just survive. You will thrive, you 235 00:15:54,059 --> 00:15:57,559 Suze: will once again live the life that you've always dreamed 236 00:15:57,570 --> 00:15:58,510 Suze: of living. 237 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:03,760 Suze: But you can't live a life of dreams when you're 238 00:16:03,770 --> 00:16:08,090 Suze: spending your time creating nightmares in your thoughts. 239 00:16:09,419 --> 00:16:12,830 Suze: So very unexpected podcast from me. 240 00:16:13,909 --> 00:16:16,640 Suze: I hope it's one that you're sitting there going. What 241 00:16:16,650 --> 00:16:18,039 Suze: the heck was that? 242 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,369 Suze: Maybe you're one of the people that needed to hear 243 00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:22,429 Suze: what I just said. 244 00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:28,200 Suze: Maybe you're not. Maybe you know somebody however who is 245 00:16:28,210 --> 00:16:31,869 Suze: in that situation and they need to hear these words. 246 00:16:32,869 --> 00:16:36,520 Suze: So maybe you could ask them to listen to this podcast. 247 00:16:37,489 --> 00:16:44,250 Suze: Always know that every single word, whether it sounds harsh, 248 00:16:44,260 --> 00:16:49,179 Suze: whether it sounds angry, whether it sounds whatever that I'm 249 00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:53,359 Suze: giving to Suze Slap down is grounded in the most 250 00:16:53,369 --> 00:16:56,260 Suze: incredible love, hope 251 00:16:57,020 --> 00:17:02,770 Suze: and joy in what's possible for every single one of you. 252 00:17:03,729 --> 00:17:03,750 Music: Music (out).