Robert: June 22nd, 2025. Welcome to the Women and Money podcast,
Robert: as well as everyone smart enough to listen. Robert, the
Robert: producer here, you know, sometimes there are just technical things
Robert: that get in the way of doing something we planned
Robert: on doing.
Robert: Unfortunately, today is one of those days, but fortunately, we
Robert: are always prepared to make sure that you hear Suze
Robert: twice a week, every week. So, we're presenting part of
Robert: an episode which originally dropped late last summer.
Robert: And the story Suze shares is still very, very relevant.
Robert: Enjoy.
Suze: Today is Suzes School usually.
Suze: But today, it's a different type of Suze school, because
Suze: I want to be able to pass on a lesson
Suze: through a Suze story.
Suze: And it's a story from an email that was sent
Suze: in to the Women and Money podcast a few months ago,
Suze: and I think it's important that sometimes we can learn
Suze: from other people's experiences and their experiences in their own
Suze: words sometimes are more relatable, believe it or not, than
Suze: when I just tell you certain things.
Suze: Are you ready to sit back,
Suze: and hear a story?
Suze: So yesterday morning Colo and KT brought me coffee. I
Suze: was still in bed and we were all sitting there cause,
Suze: you know, I like to stay in bed in the
Suze: morning cause I think I read the news. That's just
Suze: my time that I gather my financial thoughts and also
Suze: my own personal thoughts for the entire day.
Suze: And so sometimes when they get impatient and I don't
Suze: come out to join them in the kitchen, they come
Suze: to me.
Suze: And so we were all sitting there and I had
Suze: recently just read the email that I'm going to read
Suze: to you in a second, and I said to both
Suze: KT and Colo.
Suze: Can you answer this question for me?
Suze: What is something that you would be willing to give
Suze: up your life for?
Suze: So I'd like you all to think about that question
Suze: as well. Is there anything in life,
Suze: that you would be willing
Suze: to give up your life for?
Suze: You know, for some people it's the military and their
Suze: love for the military and everybody who signs up for
Suze: any position in any of the armed forces, they really
Suze: are willing to give up their life to do that
Suze: and they are
Suze: all heroes and I love them all so much. I
Suze: can't even tell you and admire them because I've worked
Suze: with the armed forces now, all the divisions of them, actually,
Suze: except the Coast Guard, now that I think about it
Suze: for years and years and I see
Suze: what they've gone through, especially if you've ever toured Walter
Suze: Reed Hospital and have experienced.
Suze: Some of their experiences when they come home from the
Suze: sandbox anyway.
Suze: Very, very interesting question. KT immediately said I'd be willing
Suze: to give up my life for you, Suze.
Suze: And I answered back cause it's really the only thing
Suze: I'd be willing to give up my life for. That's
Suze: an honest answer. I would give up my life for
Suze: KT in a heartbeat.
Suze: 'Cause without KT I really wouldn't know how to go
Suze: on right now in life, and that's what happens when
Suze: you lose somebody that you love. You always say, oh,
Suze: I wish it would happen to me rather than them.
Suze: Like the times KT would get hurt like with uh,
Suze: you know, an injury or something. I was like, oh,
Suze: I wish that had happened to me, not her. And
Suze: I know when I went through what I went through
Suze: with my neck, KT would say, oh Susie, I wish
Suze: that happened to me and not you.
Suze: And then it was Colo's turn.
Suze: And Colo said something very interesting. It actually relates to
Suze: the email.
Suze: Then I'm about to read you, and he said, Well,
Suze: I would absolutely give up my life for my children, Suze.
Suze: There isn't a parent out there,
Suze: that won't give up their lives to save their children
Suze: and if that's what it would take to do that,
Suze: I would do that, Suze.
Suze: And it went fascinating Colo that you said that.
Suze: Now you're about to hear.
Suze: The Suze story that I was planning to read to
Suze: all of you, but I'm really planning to read it
Suze: now after Colo answered that question.
Suze: But isn't it a fascinating question? How would you answer that?
Suze: Is there anything or anybody
Suze: that you would give up your life for, OK.
Suze: Are we ready?
Suze: This is from Peter.
Suze: I'm just going to use his first name, all right,
Suze: which he said, OK. He also said to me, because
Suze: as many of you know that when you write in emails,
Suze: I do read them. Many of them seriously touch my heart,
Suze: and a lot of times I will ask you for
Suze: your phone number and I will call you or I
Suze: will write you back so everything is in writing again.
Suze: If you ever want to send in a question.
Suze: You can do so to ask Suze SUZE podcast at gmail.com.
Suze: And make it short, otherwise KT will not pick it.
Suze: But if it is chosen, it will be answered on
Suze: the podcast here, you know, we drop Suze School every
Suze: Sunday and we drop KT and Suze Ask us anything
Suze: on Thursdays, so you can always do that. But again,
Suze: you just never know when you will hear from me directly.
Suze: But Peter did say that it was OK if I
Suze: read this to everybody.
Suze: Especially if other people can learn from it.
Suze: Are you ready?
Suze: Sit down and listen closely.
Suze: Peter says, Suze.
Suze: I've been listening to your podcast for the past 9
Suze: months after my wife of 40 years, sadly passed away
Suze: from pneumonia.
Suze: She was great one day then gone a few weeks later.
Suze: I am 72 and I had recently retired before she
Suze: passed away thinking my retirement would look much different than
Suze: it turned out.
Suze: I was suddenly thrown into dealing with financial matters that
Suze: I wasn't involved in before, as she always handled our
Suze: investments and everything. Sadly, I was one of those men
Suze: who just came home, handed over my paycheck to my wife,
Suze: and I just didn't want to deal with it, any
Suze: of it.
Suze: Your show has helped me tremendously.
Suze: I started listening to it because my wife listened to
Suze: it all the time.
Suze: But I didn't think I needed to.
Suze: But now I have learned a ton from you.
Suze: I'm emailing you now with a complex and emotional situation.
Suze: My wife was 69 when she died, and her father
Suze: outlived her. She was the executor of his estate, and
Suze: that role then passed on to her brother after her death.
Suze: She wasn't aware that according to her father's will and
Suze: trust her inheritance upon her death would pass on to
Suze: our two sons who are in their 40s.
Suze: Not to me as her spouse.
Suze: At least I don't think she knew that, for she
Suze: was incapacitated for about 3 weeks before she passed. So
Suze: when I found this out during that time, I couldn't
Suze: ask her.
Suze: After she died, my brother-in-law would not change anything with
Suze: the will or trust, and my father-in-law had memory issues,
Suze: so I didn't want to rock the boat with the family.
Suze: I let it go, knowing my sons would take care
Suze: of me.
Suze: Just recently my father-in-law passed away at 97 just like
Suze: your mom Susie. He was an amazing man, and we
Suze: had a close relationship.
Suze: My question is that I need your advice on how
Suze: to find a fair way for my sons to give
Suze: me some of that inheritance so I have enough money
Suze: to live on, as my wife and I were always
Suze: counting on her father's inheritance money for our retirement, and
Suze: our kids knew that.
Suze: I own my home, not outright. I have a mortgage.
Suze: And I have my wife's life insurance policy that I
Suze: have invested in Tbis along with a small 401k and
Suze: savings account. I don't think I have enough money to
Suze: live on.
Suze: So I'll need some of that inheritance that my kids
Suze: are set to receive. It could be about $1.5 million
Suze: which would have been my wife's share if she hadn't
Suze: died before her father.
Suze: So...
Suze: Even though I was going to inherit that now my
Suze: two sons will inherit it.
Suze: The boys feel bad that this is the situation. They
Suze: totally understand what happened, and they plan to give me
Suze: most of it, knowing it will eventually be passed on
Suze: to them.
Suze: Then there's tax implications of them giving me the money
Suze: and how that will impact things. My only source of
Suze: income is Social Security and the interest that I'm getting
Suze: from my investments. I know this is a long email,
Suze: but it's a complex situation. I hope you will read
Suze: it and email me back. Thank you. One of the
Suze: men smart enough to listen.
Suze: All right, obviously this was an email that came in
Suze: months ago, and I answered Peter almost immediately.
Suze: And I gave Peter 3 suggestions of what I would
Suze: do if I was in his situation.
Suze: And the first one would be sit the boys down.
Suze: Talk to them. Tell them that what would be fabulous
Suze: because Peter only owed about $400,000 on his mortgage on
Suze: a house that was worth $900,000 to simply each give
Suze: him $200,000 from their money if they did inherit $1.5
Suze: million which by the way is what they ended up inheriting.
Suze: And then Peter would own the house outright and be
Suze: able to afford everything because of how much the expenses
Suze: would go down because of the mortgage, OK.
Suze: That was one suggestion. Second suggestion, if they didn't want
Suze: to go for that, was to give Peter maybe 2
Suze: or 3000 whatever he needed to live on monthly.
Suze: And third suggestion was for Peter, well, to just sell
Suze: the house, downsize, cut your expenses, and things like that.
Suze: And Peter liked all three of those suggestions, but essentially
Suze: was saying to me, the kids understand they're going to
Suze: help me, so let's see what is best for them.
Suze: Of course, a parent saying what is best for them
Suze: versus everybody take a note of this.
Suze: What is best for me, Peter, me who just lost
Suze: my wife a few months ago, who is grieving, who
Suze: doesn't know what to do, who has retired, who needs
Suze: help at this point in time.
Suze: Recently I just got another email from Peter.
Suze: And here we go and listen to this closely now.
Suze: Thank you so much for taking the time and writing
Suze: me back with what you thought I should do. Well,
Suze: it didn't quite go as planned, so I thought I'd
Suze: give you an update. Oh, so messy and complicated.
Suze: Each kid did end up getting $750,000. So again, everybody,
Suze: that's a total of $1.5 million.
Suze: That Peter was expecting to inherit. OK, all right.
Suze: Your first suggestion, as you may remember, was for them
Suze: to pay off the mortgage which would be $200,000 from
Suze: each of them, which would still leave them with $550,000.
Suze: But now that the money is in their accounts, they
Suze: don't want to do that.
Suze: Unbelievable as you would say.
Suze: Your next suggestion was each kid give me a monthly
Suze: allowance to help me cover my expenses.
Suze: Well, I did a budget and showed the boys monthly expenses, income, assets,
Suze: Social Security at $2000 a month, etc.
Suze: My monthly expenses are around 6000.
Suze: And needed just 2000 from each of them.
Suze: One son is being kinda difficult and doesn't want to
Suze: pay me $2000 a month from his inheritance, really, everybody,
Suze: really all right, anyway, he thinks I just need to
Suze: be more aggressive with my investments, and I would be OK.
Suze: Right now, most of my money is in conservative investments. Suze.
Suze: T bills, high yield savings, and a rollover IRA. As
Suze: you know, I'm afraid and can't afford to lose one penny.
Suze: My other son, thank God, is willing and wants to help,
Suze: but isn't confident about what to do with his share,
Suze: for he may want to buy a home. He wants
Suze: to invest it, so he wants to wait
Suze: to touch a penny of it.
Suze: Suze, it's getting stressful for all three of us, but
Suze: given that I have no say in anything, it's most
Suze: stressful on me.
Suze: I don't want to have a bad relationship with either
Suze: of my sons and be a burden, so now I
Suze: am wondering if I should go back to your third
Suze: suggestion of selling my house and living off the equity
Suze: and renting some place. Now listen to how the tone
Suze: of this email everybody starts to change.
Suze: Then they can just keep their goddamn money that should
Suze: have gone to me in the first place, but life
Suze: isn't fair. Sorry, but I am somewhat resentful and mad
Suze: at my wife for not planning better. What was she thinking?
Suze: She knew she was going to get this inheritance, and
Suze: that would secure both our futures forever.
Suze: But as many times as she said she was going
Suze: to take a look at her dad's will and trust
Suze: and make sure I was protected if she did die
Suze: before her dad, she just never got around to it,
Suze: at least if she had done that, I wouldn't be
Suze: begging my sons to help me. So not only am
Suze: I angry at my wife that I love and adore
Suze: and I miss more than you have any idea.
Suze: But I'm angry at myself for not being proactive and
Suze: engaged in all of it before it was too late.
Suze: Everybody take note of what I just said.
Suze: Are you engaged? Have you taken the actions you need
Suze: to take? Are you just assuming that because somebody is
Suze: older than you, a parent, whatever, that they are going
Suze: to die before you? Have you had discussions with them
Suze: about money, who it goes to, how it gets passed down?
Suze: Have you?
Suze: Now I will continue.
Suze: But worse, Peter says, I'm heartbroken over my sons.
Suze: Sons that I would have given up my life for
Suze: if it could save them in any way.
Suze: And I thought I was so close to my sons.
Suze: I thought that they were my best friends. You say
Suze: people first than money. All my sons obviously care more
Suze: about money than me. I feel so lonely and afraid,
Suze: and as a man that is so hard for me
Suze: to admit to any one but you.
Suze: Sorry, I guess I am ranting now. Just wanted to
Suze: see if you had any thoughts. Thank you in advance, Peter.
Suze: Mhm.
Suze: Yeah.
Suze: Do you understand why I read that letter?
Suze: Do you understand the importance of especially if you are
Suze: in a relationship.
Suze: That you take the time to talk to all family
Suze: members and make sure that everything is set up exactly
Suze: the way that it should be.
Suze: You should check the beneficiaries on all your retirement accounts.
Suze: You should check and have the courage to speak to
Suze: your elderly parents or in-laws about how their assets are
Suze: set up, what their wishes are.
Suze: And make plans that if one of you was to
Suze: die before them, how is it going to work and
Suze: discuss it as a family to talk to the kids,
Suze: to talk to them about if anything happens you have
Suze: to promise me.
Suze: Mommy, talking to these sons, you have to promise me
Suze: you are going to take care of your father. You
Suze: promise me right here and right now. Don't just take
Suze: their word for it. Do a contract that they have
Suze: to sign so they could see before they inherit especially
Suze: a large sum of money. What they said when they
Suze: were in a state of love versus a state of greed.
Suze: There are so many things that you need to take
Suze: care of more than just watching your assets going up,
Suze: going down, this stock, that stock, should you sell this ETF?
Suze: What should you do?
Suze: It's these things in life.
Suze: That you, if you do not take care of in
Suze: a very strange way, you are giving up your own life.
Suze: Your own security, your own comfort, so to speak, in
Suze: your later years like Peter now is doing. So Peter
Suze: obviously is going to have to most likely sell the house, move.
Suze: He didn't want to do that, right, but he's going
Suze: to now have to make hard decisions cause he has
Suze: now just learned he actually can't count on
Suze: his sons, but he at least another suggestion was, OK,
Suze: even though your sons may not end up giving you
Suze: any money, the question becomes who is the beneficiary of
Suze: this money if something happens to your sons, Peter.
Suze: So become the beneficiary of a pay on death account
Suze: wherever their assets may happen to be so that if
Suze: something happens to one of them they're in a car accident.
Suze: who knows what can happen? that money comes to you.
Suze: Just do not make the mistake, Peter, and take it
Suze: for granted again that you're going to die before these kids, however.
Suze: Now you have to put yourself in a situation where
Suze: you can take care of yourself financially, you can afford
Suze: your lifestyle financially, and that you don't have to ask anybody,
Suze: including your children, for money. And maybe later on out
Suze: of the goodness of their hearts they will do what's
Suze: right versus what's easy and take care of their father,
Suze: just that simple.
Suze: So all of you right now.
Suze: Need to really decide to make sure that everything is
Suze: set up the way that it should be set up
Suze: for every single possible situation.
Suze: That could happen in your life.
Suze: All right, and that brings me to the end.
Suze: Of this Suze story, you know, in a very strange way.
Suze: I have not given up my life, but I have
Suze: dedicated the past 43 years of my life to making
Suze: sure that every single one of you.
Suze: Takes actions today to protect your tomorrows, so I can
Suze: only hope things like this little Susie story really drives
Suze: home what I've been saying now for all those years
Suze: people first, then money, then things. And if you really
Suze: do that and make sure that everybody else who has
Suze: anything to do with your money is doing that.
Suze: Then you will be unstoppable.