1 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:33,689 Robert: June 22nd, 2025. Welcome to the Women and Money podcast, 2 00:00:33,740 --> 00:00:37,700 Robert: as well as everyone smart enough to listen. Robert, the 3 00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:42,299 Robert: producer here, you know, sometimes there are just technical things 4 00:00:42,299 --> 00:00:44,659 Robert: that get in the way of doing something we planned 5 00:00:44,659 --> 00:00:45,380 Robert: on doing. 6 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:50,758 Robert: Unfortunately, today is one of those days, but fortunately, we 7 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:53,840 Robert: are always prepared to make sure that you hear Suze 8 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:58,040 Robert: twice a week, every week. So, we're presenting part of 9 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:01,319 Robert: an episode which originally dropped late last summer. 10 00:01:01,970 --> 00:01:07,279 Robert: And the story Suze shares is still very, very relevant. 11 00:01:07,879 --> 00:01:08,419 Robert: Enjoy. 12 00:01:10,559 --> 00:01:13,559 Suze: Today is Suzes School usually. 13 00:01:14,569 --> 00:01:19,529 Suze: But today, it's a different type of Suze school, because 14 00:01:19,529 --> 00:01:22,680 Suze: I want to be able to pass on a lesson 15 00:01:23,089 --> 00:01:25,400 Suze: through a Suze story. 16 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:30,529 Suze: And it's a story from an email that was sent 17 00:01:30,529 --> 00:01:34,489 Suze: in to the Women and Money podcast a few months ago, 18 00:01:34,980 --> 00:01:40,169 Suze: and I think it's important that sometimes we can learn 19 00:01:40,419 --> 00:01:46,819 Suze: from other people's experiences and their experiences in their own 20 00:01:46,819 --> 00:01:51,419 Suze: words sometimes are more relatable, believe it or not, than 21 00:01:51,419 --> 00:01:54,370 Suze: when I just tell you certain things. 22 00:01:55,739 --> 00:01:57,970 Suze: Are you ready to sit back, 23 00:01:59,169 --> 00:02:01,370 Suze: and hear a story? 24 00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:06,900 Suze: So yesterday morning Colo and KT brought me coffee. I 25 00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:10,899 Suze: was still in bed and we were all sitting there cause, 26 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,059 Suze: you know, I like to stay in bed in the 27 00:02:13,059 --> 00:02:17,149 Suze: morning cause I think I read the news. That's just 28 00:02:17,149 --> 00:02:21,899 Suze: my time that I gather my financial thoughts and also 29 00:02:21,899 --> 00:02:26,020 Suze: my own personal thoughts for the entire day. 30 00:02:26,809 --> 00:02:30,110 Suze: And so sometimes when they get impatient and I don't 31 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:33,110 Suze: come out to join them in the kitchen, they come 32 00:02:33,110 --> 00:02:33,619 Suze: to me. 33 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,829 Suze: And so we were all sitting there and I had 34 00:02:37,830 --> 00:02:41,839 Suze: recently just read the email that I'm going to read 35 00:02:41,839 --> 00:02:46,160 Suze: to you in a second, and I said to both 36 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,479 Suze: KT and Colo. 37 00:02:49,339 --> 00:02:51,889 Suze: Can you answer this question for me? 38 00:02:53,508 --> 00:02:58,410 Suze: What is something that you would be willing to give 39 00:02:58,410 --> 00:03:00,479 Suze: up your life for? 40 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,460 Suze: So I'd like you all to think about that question 41 00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:07,449 Suze: as well. Is there anything in life, 42 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,859 Suze: that you would be willing 43 00:03:11,589 --> 00:03:14,039 Suze: to give up your life for? 44 00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:18,788 Suze: You know, for some people it's the military and their 45 00:03:18,788 --> 00:03:22,829 Suze: love for the military and everybody who signs up for 46 00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:27,149 Suze: any position in any of the armed forces, they really 47 00:03:27,149 --> 00:03:31,110 Suze: are willing to give up their life to do that 48 00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:31,309 Suze: and they are 49 00:03:31,485 --> 00:03:35,505 Suze: all heroes and I love them all so much. I 50 00:03:35,505 --> 00:03:38,865 Suze: can't even tell you and admire them because I've worked 51 00:03:38,865 --> 00:03:42,324 Suze: with the armed forces now, all the divisions of them, actually, 52 00:03:42,345 --> 00:03:44,615 Suze: except the Coast Guard, now that I think about it 53 00:03:44,945 --> 00:03:47,904 Suze: for years and years and I see 54 00:03:48,850 --> 00:03:54,539 Suze: what they've gone through, especially if you've ever toured Walter 55 00:03:54,539 --> 00:03:56,830 Suze: Reed Hospital and have experienced. 56 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:01,330 Suze: Some of their experiences when they come home from the 57 00:04:01,330 --> 00:04:02,910 Suze: sandbox anyway. 58 00:04:04,029 --> 00:04:09,470 Suze: Very, very interesting question. KT immediately said I'd be willing 59 00:04:09,470 --> 00:04:11,259 Suze: to give up my life for you, Suze. 60 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:16,130 Suze: And I answered back cause it's really the only thing 61 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:19,140 Suze: I'd be willing to give up my life for. That's 62 00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:22,260 Suze: an honest answer. I would give up my life for 63 00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:24,100 Suze: KT in a heartbeat. 64 00:04:25,109 --> 00:04:28,429 Suze: 'Cause without KT I really wouldn't know how to go 65 00:04:28,428 --> 00:04:31,869 Suze: on right now in life, and that's what happens when 66 00:04:31,869 --> 00:04:35,529 Suze: you lose somebody that you love. You always say, oh, 67 00:04:35,549 --> 00:04:38,109 Suze: I wish it would happen to me rather than them. 68 00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:42,519 Suze: Like the times KT would get hurt like with uh, 69 00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,719 Suze: you know, an injury or something. I was like, oh, 70 00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:47,250 Suze: I wish that had happened to me, not her. And 71 00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:49,450 Suze: I know when I went through what I went through 72 00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:53,010 Suze: with my neck, KT would say, oh Susie, I wish 73 00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:55,000 Suze: that happened to me and not you. 74 00:04:56,089 --> 00:04:58,540 Suze: And then it was Colo's turn. 75 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:05,040 Suze: And Colo said something very interesting. It actually relates to 76 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,320 Suze: the email. 77 00:05:07,109 --> 00:05:10,950 Suze: Then I'm about to read you, and he said, Well, 78 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,589 Suze: I would absolutely give up my life for my children, Suze. 79 00:05:15,299 --> 00:05:18,160 Suze: There isn't a parent out there, 80 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:25,339 Suze: that won't give up their lives to save their children 81 00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:27,700 Suze: and if that's what it would take to do that, 82 00:05:27,859 --> 00:05:29,380 Suze: I would do that, Suze. 83 00:05:30,309 --> 00:05:34,980 Suze: And it went fascinating Colo that you said that. 84 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,549 Suze: Now you're about to hear. 85 00:05:38,260 --> 00:05:42,769 Suze: The Suze story that I was planning to read to 86 00:05:42,769 --> 00:05:45,488 Suze: all of you, but I'm really planning to read it 87 00:05:45,488 --> 00:05:49,600 Suze: now after Colo answered that question. 88 00:05:50,269 --> 00:05:54,980 Suze: But isn't it a fascinating question? How would you answer that? 89 00:05:55,799 --> 00:05:58,019 Suze: Is there anything or anybody 90 00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:03,130 Suze: that you would give up your life for, OK. 91 00:06:04,140 --> 00:06:04,970 Suze: Are we ready? 92 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:07,880 Suze: This is from Peter. 93 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:11,790 Suze: I'm just going to use his first name, all right, 94 00:06:11,859 --> 00:06:15,339 Suze: which he said, OK. He also said to me, because 95 00:06:15,339 --> 00:06:19,130 Suze: as many of you know that when you write in emails, 96 00:06:19,339 --> 00:06:24,570 Suze: I do read them. Many of them seriously touch my heart, 97 00:06:24,899 --> 00:06:27,380 Suze: and a lot of times I will ask you for 98 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:31,140 Suze: your phone number and I will call you or I 99 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:36,109 Suze: will write you back so everything is in writing again. 100 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,500 Suze: If you ever want to send in a question. 101 00:06:39,019 --> 00:06:44,410 Suze: You can do so to ask Suze SUZE podcast at gmail.com. 102 00:06:45,130 --> 00:06:48,839 Suze: And make it short, otherwise KT will not pick it. 103 00:06:49,119 --> 00:06:53,510 Suze: But if it is chosen, it will be answered on 104 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,719 Suze: the podcast here, you know, we drop Suze School every 105 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,510 Suze: Sunday and we drop KT and Suze Ask us anything 106 00:07:01,510 --> 00:07:05,869 Suze: on Thursdays, so you can always do that. But again, 107 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:10,359 Suze: you just never know when you will hear from me directly. 108 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:15,339 Suze: But Peter did say that it was OK if I 109 00:07:15,339 --> 00:07:17,579 Suze: read this to everybody. 110 00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:22,480 Suze: Especially if other people can learn from it. 111 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,410 Suze: Are you ready? 112 00:07:25,260 --> 00:07:27,570 Suze: Sit down and listen closely. 113 00:07:28,869 --> 00:07:31,339 Suze: Peter says, Suze. 114 00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:35,720 Suze: I've been listening to your podcast for the past 9 115 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:41,890 Suze: months after my wife of 40 years, sadly passed away 116 00:07:41,890 --> 00:07:42,920 Suze: from pneumonia. 117 00:07:43,679 --> 00:07:47,989 Suze: She was great one day then gone a few weeks later. 118 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:53,380 Suze: I am 72 and I had recently retired before she 119 00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:58,579 Suze: passed away thinking my retirement would look much different than 120 00:07:58,579 --> 00:07:59,700 Suze: it turned out. 121 00:08:00,799 --> 00:08:05,350 Suze: I was suddenly thrown into dealing with financial matters that 122 00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:10,309 Suze: I wasn't involved in before, as she always handled our 123 00:08:10,309 --> 00:08:15,179 Suze: investments and everything. Sadly, I was one of those men 124 00:08:15,179 --> 00:08:19,940 Suze: who just came home, handed over my paycheck to my wife, 125 00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:24,019 Suze: and I just didn't want to deal with it, any 126 00:08:24,019 --> 00:08:24,790 Suze: of it. 127 00:08:25,799 --> 00:08:28,309 Suze: Your show has helped me tremendously. 128 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:33,619 Suze: I started listening to it because my wife listened to 129 00:08:33,619 --> 00:08:35,099 Suze: it all the time. 130 00:08:36,289 --> 00:08:38,380 Suze: But I didn't think I needed to. 131 00:08:39,109 --> 00:08:42,580 Suze: But now I have learned a ton from you. 132 00:08:43,380 --> 00:08:48,199 Suze: I'm emailing you now with a complex and emotional situation. 133 00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:53,330 Suze: My wife was 69 when she died, and her father 134 00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:59,210 Suze: outlived her. She was the executor of his estate, and 135 00:08:59,210 --> 00:09:03,650 Suze: that role then passed on to her brother after her death. 136 00:09:04,489 --> 00:09:09,339 Suze: She wasn't aware that according to her father's will and 137 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:14,760 Suze: trust her inheritance upon her death would pass on to 138 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,859 Suze: our two sons who are in their 40s. 139 00:09:18,830 --> 00:09:21,400 Suze: Not to me as her spouse. 140 00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:25,650 Suze: At least I don't think she knew that, for she 141 00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:30,609 Suze: was incapacitated for about 3 weeks before she passed. So 142 00:09:30,609 --> 00:09:34,849 Suze: when I found this out during that time, I couldn't 143 00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:35,609 Suze: ask her. 144 00:09:36,419 --> 00:09:41,939 Suze: After she died, my brother-in-law would not change anything with 145 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:47,479 Suze: the will or trust, and my father-in-law had memory issues, 146 00:09:47,659 --> 00:09:50,690 Suze: so I didn't want to rock the boat with the family. 147 00:09:50,979 --> 00:09:54,900 Suze: I let it go, knowing my sons would take care 148 00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:55,419 Suze: of me. 149 00:09:56,390 --> 00:10:02,190 Suze: Just recently my father-in-law passed away at 97 just like 150 00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:06,429 Suze: your mom Susie. He was an amazing man, and we 151 00:10:06,429 --> 00:10:08,199 Suze: had a close relationship. 152 00:10:08,919 --> 00:10:12,479 Suze: My question is that I need your advice on how 153 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:15,950 Suze: to find a fair way for my sons to give 154 00:10:15,950 --> 00:10:19,669 Suze: me some of that inheritance so I have enough money 155 00:10:19,669 --> 00:10:23,159 Suze: to live on, as my wife and I were always 156 00:10:23,159 --> 00:10:28,760 Suze: counting on her father's inheritance money for our retirement, and 157 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,280 Suze: our kids knew that. 158 00:10:32,169 --> 00:10:36,070 Suze: I own my home, not outright. I have a mortgage. 159 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:40,590 Suze: And I have my wife's life insurance policy that I 160 00:10:40,590 --> 00:10:45,510 Suze: have invested in Tbis along with a small 401k and 161 00:10:45,510 --> 00:10:49,429 Suze: savings account. I don't think I have enough money to 162 00:10:49,429 --> 00:10:50,070 Suze: live on. 163 00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:55,929 Suze: So I'll need some of that inheritance that my kids 164 00:10:55,929 --> 00:11:04,169 Suze: are set to receive. It could be about $1.5 million 165 00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:08,340 Suze: which would have been my wife's share if she hadn't 166 00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:11,689 Suze: died before her father. 167 00:11:12,909 --> 00:11:13,500 Suze: So... 168 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:18,520 Suze: Even though I was going to inherit that now my 169 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,159 Suze: two sons will inherit it. 170 00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:26,049 Suze: The boys feel bad that this is the situation. They 171 00:11:26,049 --> 00:11:29,488 Suze: totally understand what happened, and they plan to give me 172 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:33,090 Suze: most of it, knowing it will eventually be passed on 173 00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:33,650 Suze: to them. 174 00:11:34,390 --> 00:11:38,140 Suze: Then there's tax implications of them giving me the money 175 00:11:38,390 --> 00:11:42,669 Suze: and how that will impact things. My only source of 176 00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:48,270 Suze: income is Social Security and the interest that I'm getting 177 00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:52,979 Suze: from my investments. I know this is a long email, 178 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:56,630 Suze: but it's a complex situation. I hope you will read 179 00:11:56,630 --> 00:12:00,349 Suze: it and email me back. Thank you. One of the 180 00:12:00,349 --> 00:12:03,390 Suze: men smart enough to listen. 181 00:12:04,669 --> 00:12:08,069 Suze: All right, obviously this was an email that came in 182 00:12:08,070 --> 00:12:13,150 Suze: months ago, and I answered Peter almost immediately. 183 00:12:13,919 --> 00:12:19,150 Suze: And I gave Peter 3 suggestions of what I would 184 00:12:19,150 --> 00:12:23,319 Suze: do if I was in his situation. 185 00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:28,150 Suze: And the first one would be sit the boys down. 186 00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:34,130 Suze: Talk to them. Tell them that what would be fabulous 187 00:12:34,130 --> 00:12:40,130 Suze: because Peter only owed about $400,000 on his mortgage on 188 00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:46,728 Suze: a house that was worth $900,000 to simply each give 189 00:12:46,729 --> 00:12:52,700 Suze: him $200,000 from their money if they did inherit $1.5 190 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:55,250 Suze: million which by the way is what they ended up inheriting. 191 00:12:55,940 --> 00:13:00,429 Suze: And then Peter would own the house outright and be 192 00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:05,030 Suze: able to afford everything because of how much the expenses 193 00:13:05,030 --> 00:13:08,030 Suze: would go down because of the mortgage, OK. 194 00:13:09,109 --> 00:13:12,909 Suze: That was one suggestion. Second suggestion, if they didn't want 195 00:13:12,909 --> 00:13:17,358 Suze: to go for that, was to give Peter maybe 2 196 00:13:17,359 --> 00:13:21,909 Suze: or 3000 whatever he needed to live on monthly. 197 00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:27,239 Suze: And third suggestion was for Peter, well, to just sell 198 00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:33,159 Suze: the house, downsize, cut your expenses, and things like that. 199 00:13:33,799 --> 00:13:38,059 Suze: And Peter liked all three of those suggestions, but essentially 200 00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:40,989 Suze: was saying to me, the kids understand they're going to 201 00:13:40,989 --> 00:13:44,700 Suze: help me, so let's see what is best for them. 202 00:13:44,950 --> 00:13:50,219 Suze: Of course, a parent saying what is best for them 203 00:13:50,219 --> 00:13:52,950 Suze: versus everybody take a note of this. 204 00:13:53,609 --> 00:13:59,199 Suze: What is best for me, Peter, me who just lost 205 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:03,599 Suze: my wife a few months ago, who is grieving, who 206 00:14:03,599 --> 00:14:07,840 Suze: doesn't know what to do, who has retired, who needs 207 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,228 Suze: help at this point in time. 208 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:15,960 Suze: Recently I just got another email from Peter. 209 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:20,919 Suze: And here we go and listen to this closely now. 210 00:14:22,150 --> 00:14:24,940 Suze: Thank you so much for taking the time and writing 211 00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:28,789 Suze: me back with what you thought I should do. Well, 212 00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:32,489 Suze: it didn't quite go as planned, so I thought I'd 213 00:14:32,489 --> 00:14:36,429 Suze: give you an update. Oh, so messy and complicated. 214 00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:44,440 Suze: Each kid did end up getting $750,000. So again, everybody, 215 00:14:44,530 --> 00:14:46,770 Suze: that's a total of $1.5 million. 216 00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:53,070 Suze: That Peter was expecting to inherit. OK, all right. 217 00:14:54,419 --> 00:14:58,140 Suze: Your first suggestion, as you may remember, was for them 218 00:14:58,140 --> 00:15:01,820 Suze: to pay off the mortgage which would be $200,000 from 219 00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:07,090 Suze: each of them, which would still leave them with $550,000. 220 00:15:07,729 --> 00:15:12,530 Suze: But now that the money is in their accounts, they 221 00:15:12,530 --> 00:15:14,489 Suze: don't want to do that. 222 00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:17,950 Suze: Unbelievable as you would say. 223 00:15:18,849 --> 00:15:23,330 Suze: Your next suggestion was each kid give me a monthly 224 00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:25,770 Suze: allowance to help me cover my expenses. 225 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:33,530 Suze: Well, I did a budget and showed the boys monthly expenses, income, assets, 226 00:15:33,739 --> 00:15:36,940 Suze: Social Security at $2000 a month, etc. 227 00:15:38,010 --> 00:15:41,289 Suze: My monthly expenses are around 6000. 228 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,770 Suze: And needed just 2000 from each of them. 229 00:15:45,559 --> 00:15:49,979 Suze: One son is being kinda difficult and doesn't want to 230 00:15:49,979 --> 00:15:56,169 Suze: pay me $2000 a month from his inheritance, really, everybody, 231 00:15:56,419 --> 00:15:59,979 Suze: really all right, anyway, he thinks I just need to 232 00:15:59,979 --> 00:16:04,739 Suze: be more aggressive with my investments, and I would be OK. 233 00:16:05,559 --> 00:16:10,119 Suze: Right now, most of my money is in conservative investments. Suze. 234 00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:15,400 Suze: T bills, high yield savings, and a rollover IRA. As 235 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:20,059 Suze: you know, I'm afraid and can't afford to lose one penny. 236 00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,229 Suze: My other son, thank God, is willing and wants to help, 237 00:16:24,429 --> 00:16:28,390 Suze: but isn't confident about what to do with his share, 238 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,840 Suze: for he may want to buy a home. He wants 239 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,880 Suze: to invest it, so he wants to wait 240 00:16:35,510 --> 00:16:37,340 Suze: to touch a penny of it. 241 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:42,200 Suze: Suze, it's getting stressful for all three of us, but 242 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:47,000 Suze: given that I have no say in anything, it's most 243 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,030 Suze: stressful on me. 244 00:16:49,770 --> 00:16:52,479 Suze: I don't want to have a bad relationship with either 245 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:55,799 Suze: of my sons and be a burden, so now I 246 00:16:55,799 --> 00:16:59,549 Suze: am wondering if I should go back to your third 247 00:16:59,549 --> 00:17:03,580 Suze: suggestion of selling my house and living off the equity 248 00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:08,030 Suze: and renting some place. Now listen to how the tone 249 00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:11,149 Suze: of this email everybody starts to change. 250 00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:17,130 Suze: Then they can just keep their goddamn money that should 251 00:17:17,130 --> 00:17:20,560 Suze: have gone to me in the first place, but life 252 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,959 Suze: isn't fair. Sorry, but I am somewhat resentful and mad 253 00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:30,280 Suze: at my wife for not planning better. What was she thinking? 254 00:17:30,569 --> 00:17:33,410 Suze: She knew she was going to get this inheritance, and 255 00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:35,969 Suze: that would secure both our futures forever. 256 00:17:36,569 --> 00:17:40,339 Suze: But as many times as she said she was going 257 00:17:40,339 --> 00:17:43,170 Suze: to take a look at her dad's will and trust 258 00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:47,369 Suze: and make sure I was protected if she did die 259 00:17:47,369 --> 00:17:50,969 Suze: before her dad, she just never got around to it, 260 00:17:51,260 --> 00:17:53,929 Suze: at least if she had done that, I wouldn't be 261 00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:57,660 Suze: begging my sons to help me. So not only am 262 00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:01,099 Suze: I angry at my wife that I love and adore 263 00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:03,609 Suze: and I miss more than you have any idea. 264 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:08,319 Suze: But I'm angry at myself for not being proactive and 265 00:18:08,319 --> 00:18:12,489 Suze: engaged in all of it before it was too late. 266 00:18:13,709 --> 00:18:16,629 Suze: Everybody take note of what I just said. 267 00:18:17,589 --> 00:18:21,290 Suze: Are you engaged? Have you taken the actions you need 268 00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:25,819 Suze: to take? Are you just assuming that because somebody is 269 00:18:25,819 --> 00:18:28,579 Suze: older than you, a parent, whatever, that they are going 270 00:18:28,579 --> 00:18:32,780 Suze: to die before you? Have you had discussions with them 271 00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:36,079 Suze: about money, who it goes to, how it gets passed down? 272 00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:37,280 Suze: Have you? 273 00:18:38,430 --> 00:18:39,900 Suze: Now I will continue. 274 00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:46,280 Suze: But worse, Peter says, I'm heartbroken over my sons. 275 00:18:47,239 --> 00:18:51,079 Suze: Sons that I would have given up my life for 276 00:18:51,410 --> 00:18:54,119 Suze: if it could save them in any way. 277 00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:57,569 Suze: And I thought I was so close to my sons. 278 00:18:57,739 --> 00:19:01,139 Suze: I thought that they were my best friends. You say 279 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:05,938 Suze: people first than money. All my sons obviously care more 280 00:19:05,939 --> 00:19:10,208 Suze: about money than me. I feel so lonely and afraid, 281 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,458 Suze: and as a man that is so hard for me 282 00:19:13,459 --> 00:19:15,819 Suze: to admit to any one but you. 283 00:19:16,949 --> 00:19:20,510 Suze: Sorry, I guess I am ranting now. Just wanted to 284 00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:25,189 Suze: see if you had any thoughts. Thank you in advance, Peter. 285 00:19:27,339 --> 00:19:27,938 Suze: Mhm. 286 00:19:29,780 --> 00:19:30,180 Suze: Yeah. 287 00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:35,040 Suze: Do you understand why I read that letter? 288 00:19:35,810 --> 00:19:40,310 Suze: Do you understand the importance of especially if you are 289 00:19:40,310 --> 00:19:41,630 Suze: in a relationship. 290 00:19:42,479 --> 00:19:46,879 Suze: That you take the time to talk to all family 291 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:51,599 Suze: members and make sure that everything is set up exactly 292 00:19:51,599 --> 00:19:53,319 Suze: the way that it should be. 293 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:58,859 Suze: You should check the beneficiaries on all your retirement accounts. 294 00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:02,420 Suze: You should check and have the courage to speak to 295 00:20:02,420 --> 00:20:08,939 Suze: your elderly parents or in-laws about how their assets are 296 00:20:08,939 --> 00:20:11,619 Suze: set up, what their wishes are. 297 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,550 Suze: And make plans that if one of you was to 298 00:20:15,550 --> 00:20:18,869 Suze: die before them, how is it going to work and 299 00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:23,579 Suze: discuss it as a family to talk to the kids, 300 00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:28,910 Suze: to talk to them about if anything happens you have 301 00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:30,150 Suze: to promise me. 302 00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:33,599 Suze: Mommy, talking to these sons, you have to promise me 303 00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:36,800 Suze: you are going to take care of your father. You 304 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:40,640 Suze: promise me right here and right now. Don't just take 305 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,280 Suze: their word for it. Do a contract that they have 306 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:47,839 Suze: to sign so they could see before they inherit especially 307 00:20:47,839 --> 00:20:51,839 Suze: a large sum of money. What they said when they 308 00:20:51,839 --> 00:20:56,880 Suze: were in a state of love versus a state of greed. 309 00:20:58,250 --> 00:21:02,209 Suze: There are so many things that you need to take 310 00:21:02,209 --> 00:21:05,979 Suze: care of more than just watching your assets going up, 311 00:21:06,130 --> 00:21:09,739 Suze: going down, this stock, that stock, should you sell this ETF? 312 00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:10,680 Suze: What should you do? 313 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,379 Suze: It's these things in life. 314 00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:19,780 Suze: That you, if you do not take care of in 315 00:21:19,780 --> 00:21:25,219 Suze: a very strange way, you are giving up your own life. 316 00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:32,369 Suze: Your own security, your own comfort, so to speak, in 317 00:21:32,369 --> 00:21:37,689 Suze: your later years like Peter now is doing. So Peter 318 00:21:37,689 --> 00:21:44,579 Suze: obviously is going to have to most likely sell the house, move. 319 00:21:44,810 --> 00:21:48,170 Suze: He didn't want to do that, right, but he's going 320 00:21:48,170 --> 00:21:51,930 Suze: to now have to make hard decisions cause he has 321 00:21:51,930 --> 00:21:55,290 Suze: now just learned he actually can't count on 322 00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:02,859 Suze: his sons, but he at least another suggestion was, OK, 323 00:22:03,150 --> 00:22:05,750 Suze: even though your sons may not end up giving you 324 00:22:05,750 --> 00:22:11,239 Suze: any money, the question becomes who is the beneficiary of 325 00:22:11,239 --> 00:22:15,589 Suze: this money if something happens to your sons, Peter. 326 00:22:16,619 --> 00:22:20,739 Suze: So become the beneficiary of a pay on death account 327 00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:24,380 Suze: wherever their assets may happen to be so that if 328 00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:27,459 Suze: something happens to one of them they're in a car accident. 329 00:22:27,540 --> 00:22:32,290 Suze: who knows what can happen? that money comes to you. 330 00:22:33,069 --> 00:22:35,670 Suze: Just do not make the mistake, Peter, and take it 331 00:22:35,670 --> 00:22:40,949 Suze: for granted again that you're going to die before these kids, however. 332 00:22:41,910 --> 00:22:45,229 Suze: Now you have to put yourself in a situation where 333 00:22:45,229 --> 00:22:49,109 Suze: you can take care of yourself financially, you can afford 334 00:22:49,109 --> 00:22:53,629 Suze: your lifestyle financially, and that you don't have to ask anybody, 335 00:22:53,930 --> 00:22:59,189 Suze: including your children, for money. And maybe later on out 336 00:22:59,189 --> 00:23:02,349 Suze: of the goodness of their hearts they will do what's 337 00:23:02,349 --> 00:23:08,020 Suze: right versus what's easy and take care of their father, 338 00:23:08,270 --> 00:23:09,680 Suze: just that simple. 339 00:23:10,739 --> 00:23:13,209 Suze: So all of you right now. 340 00:23:14,579 --> 00:23:21,219 Suze: Need to really decide to make sure that everything is 341 00:23:21,219 --> 00:23:23,619 Suze: set up the way that it should be set up 342 00:23:23,619 --> 00:23:27,099 Suze: for every single possible situation. 343 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:30,849 Suze: That could happen in your life. 344 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:36,209 Suze: All right, and that brings me to the end. 345 00:23:36,959 --> 00:23:41,589 Suze: Of this Suze story, you know, in a very strange way. 346 00:23:42,339 --> 00:23:46,530 Suze: I have not given up my life, but I have 347 00:23:46,530 --> 00:23:54,569 Suze: dedicated the past 43 years of my life to making 348 00:23:54,569 --> 00:23:56,760 Suze: sure that every single one of you. 349 00:23:57,989 --> 00:24:03,819 Suze: Takes actions today to protect your tomorrows, so I can 350 00:24:03,819 --> 00:24:09,319 Suze: only hope things like this little Susie story really drives 351 00:24:09,319 --> 00:24:13,300 Suze: home what I've been saying now for all those years 352 00:24:13,300 --> 00:24:19,339 Suze: people first, then money, then things. And if you really 353 00:24:19,339 --> 00:24:23,540 Suze: do that and make sure that everybody else who has 354 00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:27,020 Suze: anything to do with your money is doing that. 355 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:32,030 Suze: Then you will be unstoppable.