1 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:12,439 Suze: May 10th, 2026. Welcome everybody to the Women and Money 2 00:00:12,439 --> 00:00:16,120 Suze: podcast as well as everybody smart enough to listen. And 3 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:19,690 Suze: today is Mommy's Day. 4 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,840 KT: Happy Mother's Day, all the mommies out there, 5 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,680 Suze: And so we're not mommies. 6 00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:28,469 Suze: Do you think we're mommies to millions of people, right? 7 00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:31,739 KT: You are, you're like the, the godmother of money. 8 00:00:31,739 --> 00:00:36,180 Suze: The financial mommy. But, but here's the thing, everybody, as 9 00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:40,680 Suze: you know, we're recording this before we left for Japan 10 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,299 Suze: on May 5th. 11 00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:48,500 Suze: Just a few days ago actually, but I thought deeply 12 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:53,379 Suze: about what message, what message do I really want to 13 00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:56,099 Suze: give all of you on Mother's Day. 14 00:00:56,849 --> 00:01:00,580 Suze: And then I realized that on March 6th of this year, 15 00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:04,800 Suze: not that long ago, I got an email from somebody 16 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:09,620 Suze: that really touched my heart, and believe it or not, 17 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:15,559 Suze: it's about her mom. And sometimes it's not just about 18 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,980 Suze: us doing a podcast saying how great moms are, how 19 00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:22,559 Suze: everything like that goes, but the role that a mom 20 00:01:23,059 --> 00:01:25,440 Suze: can really play in our lives. 21 00:01:25,989 --> 00:01:29,309 Suze: And the role that if you are a mom, that 22 00:01:29,309 --> 00:01:34,110 Suze: you can play in your daughters' lives, because one day 23 00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:38,190 Suze: they may be moms as well. So, what we're going 24 00:01:38,190 --> 00:01:41,900 Suze: to do right now is, I want you all to 25 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:46,589 Suze: sit down, because this is kind of long, and KT 26 00:01:46,589 --> 00:01:51,300 Suze: will be reading the email that this woman sent in. 27 00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:56,709 Suze: Then I will be reading you the answer that I 28 00:01:56,709 --> 00:01:57,830 Suze: sent to her. 29 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:02,639 Suze: And then we'll go from there. All right, KT, are you ready? 30 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,709 KT: OK, are you all ready? So this email is from 31 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:09,399 KT: a woman by the name of Dani Brunello. 32 00:02:10,627 --> 00:02:12,518 KT: What is the point of life? 33 00:02:12,569 --> 00:02:15,759 Suze: And KT, I have to say, when I saw that 34 00:02:15,758 --> 00:02:19,238 Suze: what made me pick this email out of all the 35 00:02:19,238 --> 00:02:23,199 Suze: thousands that we get is I thought to myself, now 36 00:02:23,199 --> 00:02:27,139 Suze: that is the most profound question I've ever been asked. 37 00:02:27,877 --> 00:02:30,899 Suze: What is the point of life? 38 00:02:31,589 --> 00:02:32,429 Suze: It's all yours now. 39 00:02:33,190 --> 00:02:37,190 KT: OK, so hi, KT and Suze. What is the point 40 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:40,949 KT: of life? I know this is a big question to ask, 41 00:02:41,070 --> 00:02:45,570 KT: but if anyone could answer it, I thought Suze could. 42 00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:50,550 KT: I would also love your opinion and kindness, KT. I 43 00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:55,520 KT: am a 37-year-old woman with a supportive husband, two young girls, 44 00:02:55,630 --> 00:03:00,020 KT: 3 and 5, mom, dad, sister, and a large and 45 00:03:00,020 --> 00:03:00,669 KT: loving 46 00:03:01,190 --> 00:03:05,839 KT: Jersey Italian family. Me and my cousins all grew up 47 00:03:05,839 --> 00:03:10,019 KT: in the same small town. My mom is and was 48 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:14,580 KT: always in charge of my family's finances growing up. She 49 00:03:14,580 --> 00:03:18,139 KT: worked as a teller in a bank, a bookkeeper, and 50 00:03:18,139 --> 00:03:22,500 KT: now as an accountant without a college degree for a 51 00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:26,259 KT: large company. When I was a kid, my mom and 52 00:03:26,258 --> 00:03:30,320 KT: I would watch Suze on Oprah together. My mom instilled 53 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:30,668 KT: a 54 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,820 KT: a lot of the principles Suze taught about money in me, 55 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:40,199 KT: including working hard, paying down my student loan debt, investing 56 00:03:40,199 --> 00:03:45,479 KT: and saving into retirement accounts early because time is one 57 00:03:45,479 --> 00:03:49,279 KT: of the best assets we have for our money. Yes, 58 00:03:49,399 --> 00:03:54,320 KT: I max out contributions to my Roth IRA. My mom 59 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:58,440 KT: is 65 and my dad is about to turn 67. 60 00:03:58,710 --> 00:04:02,770 KT: The last two years my mom has been laser focused 61 00:04:02,949 --> 00:04:08,009 KT: on maximizing their retirement savings and getting my dad ready 62 00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:12,710 KT: to start collecting his Social Security. My dad has worked 63 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,509 KT: his whole life in the second and third shift at 64 00:04:15,509 --> 00:04:18,470 KT: a print press, a job he's hated. 65 00:04:18,919 --> 00:04:22,438 KT: We grew up lower middle class, but even so, my 66 00:04:22,438 --> 00:04:27,039 KT: mom always saved for their future, for their retirement, to 67 00:04:27,039 --> 00:04:31,459 KT: get those golden years. My dad made it to retirement 68 00:04:31,459 --> 00:04:36,639 KT: 10 whole days, and then my mom was diagnosed with 69 00:04:36,639 --> 00:04:37,777 KT: stage 4 70 00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:43,820 KT: Endometrial cancer. It has been less than a month since 71 00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:50,739 KT: her diagnosis, and her health has spiraled downward dramatically. The 72 00:04:50,738 --> 00:04:55,459 KT: Saturday before Super Bowl, she was babysitting my children. Now 73 00:04:55,459 --> 00:05:00,019 KT: she cannot even walk to the bathroom, navigate stairs, read 74 00:05:00,019 --> 00:05:05,700 KT: books or texts. It's been absolutely devastating to me and 75 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,029 KT: my whole family. 76 00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,769 KT: Her prognosis is poor. 77 00:05:14,149 --> 00:05:17,868 KT: I'm trying my best to give her everything I can 78 00:05:17,869 --> 00:05:21,950 KT: so she can suffer less. My big family has all 79 00:05:21,950 --> 00:05:25,730 KT: stepped up. We are coming together to help each other 80 00:05:26,089 --> 00:05:30,350 KT: out during this difficult time. Well, give me a minute, everybody. 81 00:05:32,869 --> 00:05:35,660 KT: This has rocked my world in so many ways, but 82 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:40,369 KT: truthfully it's disrupted my entire philosophy of life. 83 00:05:40,709 --> 00:05:44,510 Suze: You can do it KT. You're just reading somebody's story. 84 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:45,190 Suze: Go on. 85 00:05:46,950 --> 00:05:49,010 KT: I read too many of these stories. 86 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:49,829 Suze: OK. 87 00:05:49,959 --> 00:05:53,390 KT: Work hard, save hard, love hard, be a good person, 88 00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:57,609 KT: then ride off into the sunset during your golden years. 89 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,839 KT: I saw my mom and my whole life live by 90 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:06,420 KT: this principle, and I can't help to think she had 91 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:10,359 KT: it all wrong. What is the point of life? Why 92 00:06:10,359 --> 00:06:13,299 KT: am I saving for a future that may never come? 93 00:06:13,519 --> 00:06:16,709 KT: It is easy to say live for the now, but 94 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:19,159 KT: I know in my heart you will need to save 95 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:23,039 KT: for your future. I don't have the money to travel 96 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,519 KT: to all the places I want to. I need to 97 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:26,359 KT: save for that. 98 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:32,170 KT: I don't have the money for the pool, literally and metaphorically, KT. 99 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,059 KT: She knows me and my pool that I always wanted. 100 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:40,320 KT: I would blow through all my savings right now to 101 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,839 KT: do that, but what if that future never comes for me, 102 00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:48,118 KT: my family? I may never get my pool. I love 103 00:06:48,119 --> 00:06:50,640 KT: my mom so much. I thought she would help me 104 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,859 KT: raise my kids and had all those plans for her. 105 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:58,058 KT: With me and my kids during her retirement, I wanted 106 00:06:58,059 --> 00:07:02,488 KT: her Grammy years to be her best years, and now 107 00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:06,529 KT: my youngest daughter won't even remember her. If you have 108 00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:11,339 KT: any perspective, wise words, or even just a kind word 109 00:07:11,339 --> 00:07:14,700 KT: to give me, Suze, I could use all or any 110 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,380 KT: of that right now. 111 00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:18,510 KT: Danny. 112 00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:22,519 KT: So Suze, you already answered her, didn't you? You wrote 113 00:07:22,519 --> 00:07:23,140 KT: to her? 114 00:07:23,220 --> 00:07:24,119 Suze: Of course I did. 115 00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:25,940 KT: Will you share that with everyone? 116 00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:28,140 Suze: Yeah, so that's what I had planned to do today. 117 00:07:28,220 --> 00:07:31,779 Suze: That's what I was saying at the beginning of the podcast, KT, 118 00:07:31,859 --> 00:07:34,970 Suze: that I would have you read it. I know that 119 00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:37,500 Suze: wasn't easy for you because of how much you loved 120 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:41,420 Suze: your mother, and you know, for us, everybody, I just 121 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:45,119 Suze: want to say this when we read emails like this 122 00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:47,500 Suze: and you have no idea. 123 00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:53,339 Suze: How many emails like this very similar to loss we 124 00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:58,079 Suze: read and they're devastating, which is why we actually do 125 00:07:58,079 --> 00:08:02,100 Suze: this podcast, believe it or not, not necessarily just to 126 00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:05,320 Suze: tell all of you about money and things like that. 127 00:08:06,359 --> 00:08:10,350 KT: But we, we wanna share life. We wanna share life. 128 00:08:10,459 --> 00:08:14,589 Suze: ... Life, and that's what we're doing here. So now 129 00:08:14,679 --> 00:08:17,359 Suze: I will read to all of you what I wrote 130 00:08:17,359 --> 00:08:22,380 Suze: back to Dani. First, I wanna say something very clearly. 131 00:08:23,179 --> 00:08:27,119 Suze: What you are feeling right now is completely normal. When 132 00:08:27,119 --> 00:08:31,220 Suze: something this unfair and painful happens, it shakes the very 133 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:34,840 Suze: foundation of how we think life is supposed to work. 134 00:08:35,260 --> 00:08:38,299 Suze: There is nothing wrong with you for asking this question. 135 00:08:38,539 --> 00:08:42,119 Suze: In fact, the question, what is the point of life? 136 00:08:42,539 --> 00:08:45,159 Suze: usually comes when someone loves deeply. 137 00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:50,039 Suze: And has just been reminded how fragile everything really is. 138 00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:54,289 Suze: Your mother sounds like an extraordinary woman, a woman who 139 00:08:54,289 --> 00:08:59,059 Suze: worked hard, took care of her family, saved, planned, and 140 00:08:59,059 --> 00:09:02,559 Suze: taught you values that are now living inside of you. 141 00:09:03,030 --> 00:09:07,169 Suze: And the cruel part, the part that feels impossible to accept, 142 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:11,549 Suze: is that life sometimes does not follow the timeline we 143 00:09:11,549 --> 00:09:15,590 Suze: thought we were building towards. But here is something very 144 00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:19,489 Suze: important to understand. Your mom did not get it wrong. 145 00:09:20,099 --> 00:09:24,030 Suze: The purpose of saving, working, planning for the future is 146 00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:29,190 Suze: not just about reaching some magical golden years. It's about 147 00:09:29,190 --> 00:09:30,530 Suze: creating stability. 148 00:09:31,119 --> 00:09:36,039 Suze: Dignity and freedom for the people you love because of 149 00:09:36,039 --> 00:09:40,559 Suze: the choices she made. Your parents likely have more security 150 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:45,359 Suze: now than they would have had otherwise, even in this 151 00:09:45,359 --> 00:09:50,179 Suze: painful moment that matters more than you may realize. 152 00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:54,140 Suze: But here's the other truth that your mom's story is 153 00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:55,349 Suze: revealing to you. 154 00:09:56,340 --> 00:10:00,059 Suze: Life is not meant to be lived only for some day. 155 00:10:00,710 --> 00:10:03,549 Suze: It is meant to be lived in both directions at 156 00:10:03,549 --> 00:10:10,369 Suze: the same time responsibly towards the future, gratefully in the present, 157 00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:13,859 Suze: not one or the other, but both. 158 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:19,380 Suze: Saving for retirement isn't a bet that the future is guaranteed. 159 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:23,880 Suze: It's simply an act of protection, a way of giving 160 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,919 Suze: your future self options if life allows it. 161 00:10:27,599 --> 00:10:30,580 Suze: But the meaning of life is never found in the 162 00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:34,599 Suze: retirement account at the end of the road. It's found 163 00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:39,829 Suze: in what you already described your village, your daughters, your 164 00:10:39,830 --> 00:10:44,150 Suze: Jersey Italian family around the table, your mom babysitting your 165 00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:49,270 Suze: girls the week before the Super Bowl. Those moments were 166 00:10:49,270 --> 00:10:51,489 Suze: the point, not the someday. 167 00:10:52,429 --> 00:10:56,429 Suze: Your mom already lived a full life of meaning because 168 00:10:56,429 --> 00:10:58,070 Suze: she raised you. 169 00:10:58,929 --> 00:11:04,729 Suze: She taught you values. She created a family that is 170 00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:08,770 Suze: now surrounding her with love, that is not a life 171 00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:13,690 Suze: wasted waiting for retirement. This is a life that worked 172 00:11:13,690 --> 00:11:17,869 Suze: exactly the way a meaningful life is supposed to work, 173 00:11:18,450 --> 00:11:20,569 Suze: and there is one more thing I want you to 174 00:11:20,570 --> 00:11:21,289 Suze: think about. 175 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:26,419 Suze: Your daughters may be 3 and 5. They may not 176 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:31,000 Suze: remember every detail about their grandmother, but they will grow 177 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:36,059 Suze: up inside the culture your mother created. They will hear 178 00:11:36,059 --> 00:11:40,280 Suze: stories about her. They will see the way you handle money. 179 00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:43,339 Suze: They will feel the way your family shows up for 180 00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:44,159 Suze: each other. 181 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:48,929 Suze: Your mom is already living on through that. That is 182 00:11:48,929 --> 00:11:54,489 Suze: her legacy, not the retirement years. It's love that keeps 183 00:11:54,489 --> 00:11:59,450 Suze: echoing through generations. Right now you are in the middle 184 00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:05,229 Suze: of grief, anticipatory grief, fear, and heartbreak all at once. 185 00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:09,089 Suze: I get it. It's overwhelming. But if there is one 186 00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:13,390 Suze: gentle perspective I would like to offer you, it's this. 187 00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:16,799 Suze: Life is not about reaching the pool. 188 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,760 Suze: Life is about the people who would jump in it 189 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:21,380 Suze: with you. 190 00:12:22,179 --> 00:12:26,939 Suze: So keep saving for the future because protecting your family matters. 191 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:32,539 Suze: But also hold your girls tighter. Sit with your mom. 192 00:12:32,869 --> 00:12:37,630 Suze: Take pictures. Ask her stories. Let her tell you things 193 00:12:37,630 --> 00:12:43,510 Suze: about her childhood you never asked before. Those moments are 194 00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:49,309 Suze: the answers to your question, What is the point of life? 195 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:54,409 Suze: And let me tell you something. Your mom did something beautiful. 196 00:12:55,349 --> 00:12:59,789 Suze: She raised a daughter who cares enough about life to 197 00:12:59,789 --> 00:13:01,669 Suze: ask this question. 198 00:13:02,429 --> 00:13:08,069 Suze: That alone tells me she succeeded. You and your family 199 00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:09,250 Suze: are in my heart. 200 00:13:10,309 --> 00:13:15,869 Suze: So, that's what I wrote to her. Now, many of you, 201 00:13:16,070 --> 00:13:20,789 Suze: I'm sure, are like, OK, how did that sit with her? 202 00:13:20,909 --> 00:13:24,419 Suze: How did she take it? What did she think about that? 203 00:13:24,909 --> 00:13:27,909 Suze: Because what we don't always do on the podcast is 204 00:13:27,909 --> 00:13:33,590 Suze: do a follow up of what somebody responded, but Dani 205 00:13:33,590 --> 00:13:37,429 Suze: happened to respond to me. So I would just like 206 00:13:37,429 --> 00:13:40,030 Suze: KT now to read 207 00:13:40,669 --> 00:13:44,439 Suze: the email that she sent back and this is actually 208 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:49,419 Suze: dated remember I got her original email on March 6th. 209 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:53,440 Suze: I wrote her back on March 6th and the date 210 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:57,559 Suze: of this email back was March 10th so this is 211 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:02,319 Suze: in a four day period of time. All right, this 212 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:03,559 Suze: is easier to read, KT. 213 00:14:04,059 --> 00:14:07,159 KT: OK, again she responds with Suze, 214 00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:11,849 KT: Thank you deeply for this incredible thoughtful response. 215 00:14:12,849 --> 00:14:17,320 KT: And it was, it was Suze. I thank you too. 216 00:14:17,619 --> 00:14:20,659 KT: It is clear to me you took time to format 217 00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:25,320 KT: such a beautifully written and helpful answer to my question. 218 00:14:25,780 --> 00:14:29,580 KT: I read your response to my sister tearfully and sent 219 00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:32,380 KT: it to friends and clients that have all become part 220 00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:37,000 KT: of my mother's care and my own care during this time. 221 00:14:37,369 --> 00:14:41,859 KT: Everyone is impressed by how insightful and kind you were 222 00:14:41,859 --> 00:14:42,440 KT: to me. 223 00:14:42,809 --> 00:14:47,140 KT: You truly gave me tangible advice that I will reference 224 00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:50,429 KT: now and when I need a reminder in the future. 225 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,729 KT: I'm sure you hear this all the time by the 226 00:14:53,729 --> 00:14:58,770 KT: thousands of people you have helped individually, like in my 227 00:14:58,770 --> 00:15:04,669 KT: case or generally throughout your career and now with your podcast. 228 00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:10,460 KT: I appreciate you and this so much. Please don't ever 229 00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:11,130 KT: become numb 230 00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:13,729 KT: to how much you have helped people. 231 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,919 KT: Real people helped me. 232 00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:20,630 Suze: Why are you crying? 233 00:15:20,869 --> 00:15:21,909 KT: Because that's all you do. 234 00:15:22,109 --> 00:15:23,390 KT: That's all Suze does, everybody. 235 00:15:25,070 --> 00:15:28,429 KT: She helps so many people. Wait, let me finish this. 236 00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:29,210 Suze: All right. 237 00:15:29,890 --> 00:15:32,630 KT: My sister and I agree this will be something we 238 00:15:32,630 --> 00:15:35,710 KT: share with my mom. It will be something that I 239 00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:39,469 KT: can do for her that is special. We all have 240 00:15:39,469 --> 00:15:42,849 KT: looked up to you, and it will mean a lot 241 00:15:42,849 --> 00:15:43,890 KT: to her. 242 00:15:44,309 --> 00:15:46,710 Suze: Now, I just want to say something. 243 00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:51,619 Suze: I wrote Dani and I told her that on Mother's Day, 244 00:15:52,109 --> 00:15:54,969 Suze: we would be doing this podcast. 245 00:15:55,669 --> 00:16:00,320 Suze: And Dani wrote back and said, Oh, Suze, my mother 246 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:05,659 Suze: Lynn will love this. Let me just say from my heart, 247 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,880 Suze: from KT's heart to hers. 248 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,590 Suze: Lynn, you are a great mother. 249 00:16:14,049 --> 00:16:20,960 Suze: And we wish you a very happy Mother's Day because 250 00:16:21,059 --> 00:16:25,460 Suze: you should be happy because you raised a daughter, a 251 00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:31,380 Suze: family that loves you more than life itself. So to 252 00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:33,059 Suze: all the mothers out there. 253 00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:37,260 Suze: I hope you take this Mother's Day message with heart. 254 00:16:38,059 --> 00:16:42,900 Suze: To know that the point of life is really about 255 00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:47,859 Suze: loving one another, respecting one another, always being honest with 256 00:16:47,859 --> 00:16:53,960 Suze: one another and supporting each other in the best way possible. 257 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,820 Suze: So until next time, there's only one thing that we 258 00:16:57,820 --> 00:17:03,239 Suze: want you to remember, and it's this people first, then money, 259 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,339 Suze: then things, and once again. 260 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,119 Suze: Happy happy Mother's Day.