1 00:00:33,930 --> 00:00:36,120 Suze: January 19th... 2 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:37,990 KT: 2023! 3 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:42,330 Suze: 2023. Welcome everybody to the Women and Money podcast 4 00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:44,220 KT: And everyone smart enough to listen. 5 00:00:44,220 --> 00:00:46,760 Suze: Indeed. This is the KT 6 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,060 KT: and Suze 7 00:00:48,060 --> 00:00:50,320 Suze: Ask us Anything podcast. 8 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,800 KT: Anything at all 9 00:00:51,810 --> 00:00:54,510 Suze: You ask. I answer. 10 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,220 KT: I sometimes answer, 11 00:00:56,420 --> 00:00:58,500 Suze: I know right. 12 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:04,200 Suze: And sometimes sometimes she actually gets it right. In fact 13 00:01:04,209 --> 00:01:07,670 Suze: more and more, I think this year, KT as we 14 00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:10,699 Suze: go on, you're going to get this more and more right. 15 00:01:10,709 --> 00:01:11,420 Suze: All the questions. 16 00:01:14,630 --> 00:01:17,530 KT: Speaking of quizzies, I see you have something in front of you. 17 00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:21,230 Suze: Yes, today, I want to do something different. 18 00:01:21,740 --> 00:01:27,030 Suze: And I'm going to ask KT her quizzie question up 19 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:32,720 Suze: front and in fact it is the only question that 20 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,860 Suze: I really want us to ponder today 21 00:01:36,150 --> 00:01:39,820 Suze: because it is a topic that affects one out of 22 00:01:39,819 --> 00:01:45,300 Suze: four women in the United States. It is a massive, 23 00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:49,180 Suze: massive problem and I believe from the bottom my heart 24 00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:54,320 Suze: it is not addressed enough in public. So we're going 25 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:59,250 Suze: to start by me asking KT the quizzie question. 26 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:03,370 Suze: And when I ask KT a quizzie question, it is also 27 00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:09,000 Suze: a question for all of you. How would you answer 28 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:13,180 Suze: this question that I'm about to ask KT? 29 00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:15,350 Suze: Are you ready Miss Travis? 30 00:02:15,350 --> 00:02:15,940 KT: I'm ready! 31 00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:21,359 Suze: All right. Hey Suze, I love love love your podcast And 32 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:25,580 Suze: tell everyone, I know that they should listen. I've recently 33 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:28,200 Suze: learned of this podcast and I am listening from the 34 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:32,490 Suze: beginning trying to catch up. I am okay, financially. 35 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:37,950 Suze: I own my own home and have a ROTH 401(k) through 36 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:41,130 Suze: my job, you might want to take out your Suze 37 00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:45,880 Suze: notebook everybody and write down that this person has her 38 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:50,640 Suze: own home? Her ROTH 401(k) through her job. And she 39 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:56,169 Suze: is working on my eight month savings. She says, my 40 00:02:56,169 --> 00:03:01,390 Suze: question is this I have been in a relationship for many, 41 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:02,489 Suze: many years. 42 00:03:02,820 --> 00:03:08,850 Suze: Our money is completely separate as we live separately. He 43 00:03:08,860 --> 00:03:14,639 Suze: has two homes. I spend every weekend at his house 44 00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:20,010 Suze: where he expects me to pay for half of everything there, 45 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:26,109 Suze: including bills and home improvements as well as things like boat, 46 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,310 Suze: golf cart, four wheelers etcetera 47 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,260 Suze: At the same time, although I know I haven't always 48 00:03:34,260 --> 00:03:38,860 Suze: made the best financial decisions, he feels like it's necessary 49 00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:43,300 Suze: and his right to see my credit card statements, bank 50 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:47,110 Suze: statements and to tell me what I should and shouldn't 51 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:52,270 Suze: spend money on. He tries to control how I spend 52 00:03:52,270 --> 00:03:53,100 Suze: my money. 53 00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:56,710 Suze: I'm not supposed to spend any of it on my 54 00:03:56,710 --> 00:04:01,150 Suze: kids at all. And I never see any of his 55 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,980 Suze: financial information. 56 00:04:03,690 --> 00:04:07,890 Suze: If I didn't go to his house, I wouldn't see him. 57 00:04:08,130 --> 00:04:13,430 Suze: He is currently unemployed, although he calls it retired. 58 00:04:14,110 --> 00:04:18,670 Suze: He is under 50. He has money in the bank, 59 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:24,050 Suze: much more than me, but he has no retirement plan whatsoever. 60 00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:32,570 Suze: I spend roughly $6,000 a year on his house. He 61 00:04:32,580 --> 00:04:36,440 Suze: does not contribute to any of my bills at all. 62 00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:41,130 Suze: So basically I pay mine, but I'm expected to pay 63 00:04:41,130 --> 00:04:46,030 Suze: half of everything at his house. I do love him. 64 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,320 Suze: But I do not like him. 65 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:48,940 KT: Oh boy... 66 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:58,640 Suze: Here is the question everybody: Is this financial abuse? All right. 67 00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,900 Suze: Have you all thought about it? 68 00:04:59,910 --> 00:05:01,760 KT: Yeah, I've really thought about it. 69 00:05:01,770 --> 00:05:03,560 Suze: All right. Let me hear what your answer. 70 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,940 KT: It didn't take too long to come up with a 71 00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:11,000 KT: conclusion when someone says they love him but don't like 72 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:11,560 KT: him 73 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,880 KT: and Suze. We... I don't know his side of the 74 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,620 KT: story and you know, I'm a big believer about takes 75 00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:22,220 KT: two to tango. But the whole point is that it 76 00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:25,670 KT: sounds like he's a control freak, but I wonder if 77 00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:27,180 KT: his controlling 78 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,049 KT: is to really help her stay on track because she 79 00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:33,310 KT: did admit in her letter in her email to you 80 00:05:33,310 --> 00:05:37,800 KT: that she hasn't been that good in the past with 81 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:38,859 KT: her finances. 82 00:05:39,050 --> 00:05:42,989 Suze: She said that she hasn't always made the best decisions, right? 83 00:05:42,990 --> 00:05:43,110 Suze: But 84 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:46,905 Suze: that doesn't mean that she's not making them now. But KT, 85 00:05:46,964 --> 00:05:50,435 Suze: she has a retirement account. She's working on eight month 86 00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:51,575 Suze: of security saying 87 00:05:51,575 --> 00:05:52,544 KT: she has a job 88 00:05:52,555 --> 00:05:54,445 Suze: and she owns her home. 89 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:59,475 KT: She's spending 104 nights a year in his house and 90 00:05:59,475 --> 00:06:01,895 KT: pays about $60 a night. 91 00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:05,474 Suze: But that's only because because obviously she said other things, 92 00:06:05,475 --> 00:06:06,345 Suze: I shortened it, 93 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,810 Suze: he wouldn't come and stay at her house, they wouldn't 94 00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:11,150 Suze: be together if she didn't go there. 95 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:17,200 KT: Sounds very controlling. I think it's definitely abusive in a 96 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,159 KT: controlling 97 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,240 Suze: it here is the 98 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,190 KT: diplomatic 99 00:06:20,190 --> 00:06:27,000 Suze: here is the question is he financially abusive or is 100 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:27,980 Suze: she 101 00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:35,370 Suze: allowing herself and in her own way abusing herself because 102 00:06:35,370 --> 00:06:38,070 Suze: she is staying in a relationship 103 00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:38,890 Suze: with 104 00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:43,390 Suze: somebody she loves but doesn't like this is very important. 105 00:06:43,390 --> 00:06:47,630 Suze: What I've just said. It's very easy to blame our 106 00:06:47,630 --> 00:06:49,890 Suze: situation on somebody else. 107 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:55,659 Suze: It's a whole other thing when you recognize what is 108 00:06:55,660 --> 00:06:56,810 Suze: happening here 109 00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:01,570 Suze: and it doesn't matter the label that you put on 110 00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:02,270 Suze: something 111 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:08,400 Suze: right? So it's easy to blame somebody else. But you 112 00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:13,810 Suze: have got to take responsibility for staying in a relationship 113 00:07:13,820 --> 00:07:16,490 Suze: or staying in a situation 114 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:22,160 Suze: where you yourself are questioning abuse no matter where it's 115 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:26,640 Suze: coming from because sometimes we have what I call self abuse. 116 00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:31,040 Suze: We allow it to go on, we have self disrespect 117 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:34,780 Suze: for ourselves because we allow ourselves to stay in a 118 00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:39,450 Suze: relationship that we should have gotten out so long ago. 119 00:07:39,450 --> 00:07:40,710 Suze: It's not even funny. 120 00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:45,900 Suze: So then the question becomes why do we stay in 121 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,070 Suze: a relationship 122 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:52,550 Suze: when this has been going on for a long time 123 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:56,150 Suze: and this person is questioning it. You know I always 124 00:07:56,150 --> 00:08:00,160 Suze: have a saying, you never ask a question like this 125 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:03,990 Suze: that you already don't know the answer to 126 00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:09,040 KT: Everything you said sets the stage for absolute abuse. But 127 00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:12,100 KT: I think it's self abuse and I think that he 128 00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,160 KT: also is a very controlling 129 00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:18,000 KT: abusive man but I think it's this is if you 130 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,510 KT: want my opinion. Honestly 131 00:08:21,070 --> 00:08:21,540 KT: it's 132 00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:24,740 KT: on her, she needs to to wake up smell the 133 00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:27,960 KT: coffee and say listen sweetheart, I really love you but 134 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,430 KT: I don't want to spend the weekend here. Let's go 135 00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:33,380 KT: to a hotel and split it. She's got to try 136 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:37,420 KT: some things to see if she has any power whatsoever 137 00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:40,230 KT: or if he really loves her, what's he willing to 138 00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:41,770 KT: do for her? And 139 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:46,550 KT: she sounds like she's really tired of the routine and 140 00:08:46,550 --> 00:08:49,630 KT: it's his way or the highway. So guess what girlfriend? 141 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,820 KT: It's time for you to leave, drive off the highway, 142 00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:55,390 KT: go to an open road and get out of dodge 143 00:08:55,390 --> 00:09:01,770 KT: because she's allowing herself to go through a routine and 144 00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:02,980 KT: ritual of 145 00:09:03,230 --> 00:09:08,980 KT: abuse. But she's allowing it and she she has, she's smart. 146 00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:11,510 KT: And the thing is she ended it with, I love 147 00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:14,960 KT: him but I don't like him. Why would you ever 148 00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:17,210 KT: want to stay with anyone? You don't 149 00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:18,180 KT: like 150 00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:21,800 KT: I like Suze so much, everybody. 151 00:09:21,950 --> 00:09:24,060 KT: we not, we not only love each other but we 152 00:09:24,059 --> 00:09:29,140 KT: really like being together. We like everything. We do. We 153 00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:32,740 KT: like things about each other. There's very few things we 154 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:35,500 KT: don't like about each other. We we like each other. 155 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,040 KT: We're very compatible. 156 00:09:37,490 --> 00:09:40,290 Suze: Are you sure I feel that way? No just joking with you. 157 00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:42,270 KT: Oh, I am sure. 158 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,740 Suze: KT, how many times have I said to you? It's so easy 159 00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:49,710 Suze: to say I love you. It's so easy to say, 160 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,480 Suze: I love you. See you later. Love you, bye. But 161 00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:57,950 Suze: the most important part of any relationship have I've not 162 00:09:57,950 --> 00:09:59,990 Suze: said isn't love 163 00:10:00,490 --> 00:10:01,140 KT: It's liking. 164 00:10:01,570 --> 00:10:05,920 Suze: It's liking each other because it is our nature, especially 165 00:10:05,929 --> 00:10:07,870 Suze: when you're a woman. 166 00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:10,710 Suze: It is your nature to nurture. 167 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,130 Suze: It's just our nature to do so. You have the 168 00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:18,380 Suze: ability to give birth. In most cases, you have the 169 00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:21,610 Suze: ability to feed that which you have given birth to. 170 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:28,150 Suze: It is your nature to nurture. And you nurture everybody 171 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:32,880 Suze: else in your life before you nurture yourself. You know, 172 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:36,530 Suze: this was the reason everybody, I wrote the book Women 173 00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:41,010 Suze: and Money, which is what this podcast is named after. 174 00:10:41,490 --> 00:10:45,830 Suze: Because women, all of us need to learn how to 175 00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:49,910 Suze: give to ourselves as much as we give of ourselves. 176 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:53,959 Suze: And there is nothing more important in life 177 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:59,320 Suze: as Mika of Morning Joe would say, which is to 178 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:05,860 Suze: know your value, to know your value, but not your 179 00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:13,680 Suze: value to others, know your value to yourself. Because in 180 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:19,600 Suze: the end, what's very fascinating about getting older, KT, you 181 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,359 Suze: and I talk about this all the time is 182 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:27,730 Suze: in the end, you kind of do end up all alone. 183 00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:32,870 Suze: In many, many cases, like one of our greatest fears 184 00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:38,650 Suze: in life is please don't take KT without also taking me, 185 00:11:38,650 --> 00:11:41,280 Suze: don't leave one of us. God, you know, if you're 186 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,660 Suze: gonna take one of us take both of us because 187 00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:48,370 Suze: I don't know. And I've said this to many people 188 00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:51,600 Suze: who have lost their spouses, who they've loved more than 189 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,809 Suze: life itself. 190 00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:55,929 Suze: You know, I don't know how you go through that, 191 00:11:55,940 --> 00:12:00,570 Suze: it's not easy, I do know that in time because 192 00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:04,719 Suze: I've seen it, people get through it, their hearts heal. 193 00:12:05,370 --> 00:12:05,760 KT: You don't have a choice. 194 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:06,920 Suze: You don't have a choice. 195 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,150 Suze: But... 196 00:12:08,150 --> 00:12:11,850 Suze: many, many people in the end we kind of end 197 00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:14,680 Suze: up alone, KT, Are you afraid of ever being alone? 198 00:12:15,059 --> 00:12:16,010 KT: No, 199 00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:17,100 Suze: Why? 200 00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:22,190 KT: I told you something different about me. I don't ever know 201 00:12:22,190 --> 00:12:28,780 KT: or have experienced alone. Tell everybody this is an interesting 202 00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:32,190 KT: phenomenon and and I'm curious if it is not just me, 203 00:12:32,190 --> 00:12:33,990 KT: but other twins 204 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:38,450 KT: when you're born into this world with another person, whether 205 00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:40,700 KT: you love each other, you don't like each other, whether 206 00:12:40,700 --> 00:12:44,890 KT: you're best friends, not friends, you're born with another person. 207 00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:48,979 KT: And in most cases you grow up in those very 208 00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:53,630 KT: early stages and years of life through adolescence through teenage 209 00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:57,570 KT: until you're you know, out and about on your own path. 210 00:12:57,580 --> 00:13:00,840 KT: You grow up with a best friend with another person 211 00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:04,910 KT: and being an identical twin. My sister and I have 212 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:12,250 KT: gone through every life phase together. So I don't know, 213 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,610 KT: I've never went to school on the first day of school, 214 00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:18,600 KT: scared to be alone and make friends. I never went 215 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,880 KT: on my first date alone. I was on a double 216 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:22,510 KT: date with my 217 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:22,880 KT: twin, which is interesting. 218 00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:24,740 Suze: I have a question to ask you. 219 00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:28,790 Suze: Tomorrow you get a call 220 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,990 Suze: and you're told, 221 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,540 KT: oh don't don't even say it, then I would be devastated. 222 00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:38,959 Suze: Alright. So in the end it is possible that your 223 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:44,170 Suze: sister could pre decease you and if that happens 224 00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:48,490 Suze: one of you, whether it's you or her most likely 225 00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:52,220 Suze: will end up alone. Are you not afraid of that? 226 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,270 KT: Yeah, I'm afraid of that. 227 00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,950 Suze: But you just said you're never afraid of that 228 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,960 KT: Because I don't know what that feeling is until I've 229 00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:02,470 KT: actually experienced it for the first time. 230 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:06,090 Suze: What's interesting, everybody is that I feel like I've spent 231 00:14:06,170 --> 00:14:08,290 Suze: almost my entire life alone. 232 00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:12,980 Suze: I do. It's I love my mother, I love my father. 233 00:14:12,980 --> 00:14:16,520 Suze: But they were struggling always so much for money and 234 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:21,010 Suze: struggling with my father's health and my brothers were much 235 00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:26,200 Suze: older than me and there I was and I just 236 00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:28,330 Suze: have always haven't I, KT, 237 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:29,310 Suze: I'm 238 00:14:29,310 --> 00:14:31,920 Suze: a loner. And even to this day, you may not 239 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,590 Suze: know this about me, 240 00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:35,120 Suze: but I'm.. still 241 00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:39,920 KT: She's still a loner. Like, Suze gets total joy 242 00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:45,850 KT: out of sitting in the same place the whole day 243 00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:50,410 KT: long without moving sometimes. Well, of course she's doing, you know, 244 00:14:50,410 --> 00:14:53,550 KT: she's on her phone or she's listening to something or 245 00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:57,340 KT: reading or you know, she's just not sitting and doing nothing, 246 00:14:57,340 --> 00:15:01,000 KT: but she isn't moving and she's often alone. 247 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,700 KT: Now we're on this big old island with only very 248 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:08,650 KT: few people and you know, I am very busy and 249 00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:11,370 KT: I have a million chores and projects and things that 250 00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:15,280 KT: I do. But Suze, for the most part is sitting 251 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,410 KT: in the same place and I always fight where I 252 00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:21,070 KT: leave her? I find her? I always say, are you okay? 253 00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:24,640 KT: I shout out from my garden. Suze, are you okay? 254 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:28,030 KT: Do you need anything, nope. I'm good, KT and she's 255 00:15:28,030 --> 00:15:29,820 KT: by herself. Very happy 256 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:33,230 Suze: The first time that I feel like in my life, KT, 257 00:15:33,230 --> 00:15:35,640 Suze: that I ever truly experienced love and now I know 258 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,170 Suze: what we're off the topic of financial abuse but we 259 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:42,470 Suze: will come back there the first time in my life 260 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,210 Suze: that I felt like I had true love 261 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,670 Suze: from a person was from you, KT. 262 00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:52,710 KT: Me too! 263 00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:55,430 Suze: You know, I've had so much love for God and spiritual 264 00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:56,870 Suze: teachers and things like that. 265 00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:57,550 KT: And friends... 266 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:02,550 Suze: Yes, friends but on a personal every day level. And the 267 00:16:02,550 --> 00:16:05,380 Suze: truth of the matter is since KT and I met 268 00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:09,640 Suze: almost now 22 years ago, we never really 269 00:16:09,665 --> 00:16:11,715 Suze: for more than a day or two or three at 270 00:16:11,715 --> 00:16:17,605 Suze: most maybe left each other's sides. So we're constantly together. 271 00:16:17,615 --> 00:16:21,755 KT: Yeah, we work, eat, sleep, live love, we're together all 272 00:16:21,755 --> 00:16:23,555 KT: the time. We're at 24/7 273 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:24,765 Suze: and we still we 274 00:16:24,765 --> 00:16:26,695 KT: like it and we like it though. 275 00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:29,520 Suze: And then there we come back to: 276 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:35,690 Suze: Love is not as important as like because I know 277 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:40,430 Suze: many many couples that love each other deeply. No way 278 00:16:40,430 --> 00:16:45,790 Suze: could they be together 24 hours, 12 hours five 279 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,530 Suze: hours a day. No way. And you can't count sleeping 280 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:52,000 Suze: together at night because you're sleeping! 281 00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:54,770 KT: Read that last sentence one more time. 282 00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:57,370 Suze: I do love him, but I do not like him. 283 00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:59,110 KT: Alright. What does that tell you? 284 00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:00,970 Suze: Here's what it tells us 285 00:17:01,630 --> 00:17:01,990 Suze: when 286 00:17:01,990 --> 00:17:07,000 Suze: we hear an email like this, It's very easy to 287 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:13,080 Suze: pass judgment on somebody else. It's easy to say this 288 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:17,410 Suze: person's an abuser, this whatever. And there are many abusers out there, 289 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:25,699 Suze: but we don't have to, in most cases take their abuse, 290 00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:27,050 Suze: we don't have 291 00:17:27,050 --> 00:17:27,480 Suze: to. 292 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:30,550 Suze: And so for those of you 293 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:37,470 Suze: that find yourself in a situation where you're asking this question. 294 00:17:37,730 --> 00:17:42,950 Suze: And again, remember I started this podcast by saying one 295 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:48,119 Suze: out of four women in the United States are in 296 00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:52,270 Suze: a financially abusive relationship. 297 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:57,879 Suze: And what that means is that you're in a relationship 298 00:17:57,890 --> 00:18:02,659 Suze: with somebody who is controlling the money, controlling your actions, 299 00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:05,990 Suze: controlling who you can see controlling what you spend your 300 00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:08,740 Suze: money on controlling when you get a paycheck that you 301 00:18:08,740 --> 00:18:11,050 Suze: have to give it to him or her. They are 302 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:18,390 Suze: absolutely controlling your life in every possible way. And financial 303 00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:24,800 Suze: abuse eventually leads just so you know, to emotional, psychological 304 00:18:24,810 --> 00:18:31,830 Suze: and physical abuse. It becomes very, very dangerous. So therefore 305 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:36,990 Suze: in this particular situation, I don't really care about this 306 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,389 Suze: person that she's in a relationship with, 307 00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:44,330 Suze: I care about her and I cared about her enough 308 00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:48,729 Suze: to actually respond to her many, many times personally. 309 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:53,510 Suze: And the end of our communication was 310 00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:57,500 Suze: after I've asked her many other questions 311 00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:02,359 Suze: was this: Get out and get out now and I 312 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:08,130 Suze: can only hope that she cared about herself enough 313 00:19:09,050 --> 00:19:11,959 Suze: that she simply said she has her own house. He 314 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,669 Suze: has two, they don't live together. I hope she cared 315 00:19:15,670 --> 00:19:19,399 Suze: about herself enough to say, you know what, I'm not 316 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,810 Suze: spending weekends with you anymore. In fact, I'm not spending 317 00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:25,420 Suze: any time with you any more. 318 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,179 Suze: So 319 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,109 Suze: if any of you are out there listening and you're 320 00:19:31,109 --> 00:19:32,760 Suze: just even wondering, 321 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:38,270 Suze: are you in a financially abusive or any type of 322 00:19:38,270 --> 00:19:43,070 Suze: abusive relationship, I want you to reach out to the 323 00:19:43,070 --> 00:19:49,130 Suze: National Domestic Violence Hotline and you can do so by 324 00:19:49,130 --> 00:19:54,899 Suze: going to the hotline dot org. You can also reach 325 00:19:54,910 --> 00:20:02,500 Suze: out and call 800-799-7233 . 326 00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:07,520 Suze: You can also send a text that says START on 327 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:15,310 Suze: it to 88788. Just do that. Because if you're even 328 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:19,680 Suze: questioning it like this email, the fact that she was 329 00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:21,560 Suze: even questioning it 330 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,590 Suze: normally, what I would have said to her, you need 331 00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:30,410 Suze: to reach out to the National Domestic Violence hotline. 332 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:37,320 Suze: So that's was the quizzie, KT. Now are you wondering what 333 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,560 Suze: I'm gonna do? Am I gonna? Ding Ding Ding you. 334 00:20:40,380 --> 00:20:42,620 KT: Yeah, I think I was right. 335 00:20:42,619 --> 00:20:47,310 Suze: Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding. And really all of you, 336 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,429 Suze: the question that we just asked and answered 337 00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:56,219 Suze: maybe one of the most important questions that are ever 338 00:20:56,220 --> 00:21:02,200 Suze: asked on the women and money podcast. However many of 339 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:06,980 Suze: you who watched the videos on the women and money 340 00:21:06,990 --> 00:21:11,199 Suze: app showing us loading up the airplane getting 341 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:15,430 Suze: on the airplane, having the airplane land on a really 342 00:21:15,430 --> 00:21:20,030 Suze: tiny strip. Getting off the airplane, getting in my golf 343 00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:24,410 Suze: cart to drive us home, driving up the driveway and 344 00:21:24,420 --> 00:21:29,400 Suze: seeing the chickens, you have so many questions. So in 345 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,890 Suze: the time remaining, KT, 346 00:21:32,070 --> 00:21:35,000 Suze: let's answer some of those questions for people. Right, 347 00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:38,159 KT: Okay. So the first big question is Suze, do you 348 00:21:38,170 --> 00:21:40,290 KT: own this island? Can I answer this? 349 00:21:41,070 --> 00:21:41,429 Suze: Of course. 350 00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:45,250 KT: Everybody know we don't own this little island, but we 351 00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:48,630 KT: are part owners with a number of other members that 352 00:21:48,630 --> 00:21:52,300 KT: live here as well. There's, and just F. Y. I, I 353 00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:56,230 KT: love trivia. There's 700 islands that make up the Bahama 354 00:21:56,240 --> 00:22:01,550 KT: coral reef chain and only about 30 of them are inhabited. 355 00:22:01,690 --> 00:22:04,590 KT: So this is one, but I would say that at 356 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,390 KT: any given time there's only maybe a couple dozen people 357 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:09,290 KT: on this 358 00:22:09,290 --> 00:22:14,200 Suze: island also. Just so you know, we are residents of 359 00:22:14,210 --> 00:22:18,510 Suze: Florida of the United States, but we spend 360 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:22,450 Suze: the majority of our time here in the Bahamas. So 361 00:22:22,460 --> 00:22:27,290 Suze: in our hearts, this is our home and where we live. 362 00:22:27,300 --> 00:22:29,149 Suze: Next question, KT, what was it? 363 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,220 KT: Okay, so we drove up the driveway and in the video, 364 00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:33,980 KT: if you go on the app and take a look 365 00:22:33,980 --> 00:22:38,200 KT: at show Suze saying hello to all our chickens, we 366 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,680 KT: have these little like yardbirds I call them. These chickens 367 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,910 KT: that not only were born on this property, but they 368 00:22:44,910 --> 00:22:48,310 KT: continue to expanding the family. 369 00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:51,109 KT: So the little chickens came up and people said, well 370 00:22:51,109 --> 00:22:54,429 KT: why don't you eat the eggs, especially Suze since the 371 00:22:54,430 --> 00:22:58,070 KT: price of eggs now for organic eggs is like $10 372 00:22:58,350 --> 00:23:00,600 Suze: On the podcast that I did last Sunday. I told 373 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,390 Suze: them how you freaked at $10 a dozen. 374 00:23:03,390 --> 00:23:05,000 KT: So why don't you eat the chicken? 375 00:23:05,020 --> 00:23:07,290 KT: Why don't you eat the eggs? So these are more 376 00:23:07,290 --> 00:23:11,190 KT: like pets? And some of our neighbors. Actually, we have 377 00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:16,220 KT: Peruvian neighbors that do collect at least two eggs every 378 00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:17,910 KT: morning from their chicken. 379 00:23:17,910 --> 00:23:21,540 Suze: And there are many, many workers on this island 380 00:23:21,770 --> 00:23:26,990 Suze: that are from the Bahamas and Haiti and the Dominican Republic. 381 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,410 Suze: They actually do eat the chickens, 382 00:23:30,420 --> 00:23:31,080 Suze: but 383 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:35,800 Suze: they know they are not to touch any of our 384 00:23:35,810 --> 00:23:38,650 Suze: chickens at all. They're like our little pets. So 385 00:23:38,930 --> 00:23:41,860 Suze: we don't care about their eggs. We care about them 386 00:23:41,869 --> 00:23:43,680 Suze: having babies and us raised there. 387 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:47,770 KT: So you see Suze on the plane that's packed with provisions. 388 00:23:47,770 --> 00:23:51,290 KT: I mean, we probably had hundreds of pounds of weight 389 00:23:51,300 --> 00:23:52,240 KT: of provisions. 390 00:23:52,430 --> 00:23:55,000 KT: And what you do is you clear customs, you have 391 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:59,500 KT: to actually bring receipts for anything you've purchased to bring 392 00:23:59,510 --> 00:24:02,710 KT: on the island and you pay duty on it. So 393 00:24:02,710 --> 00:24:06,270 KT: you bring provisions when you need to about every two months, 394 00:24:06,270 --> 00:24:10,040 KT: we bring a plane, a whole cargo plane full 395 00:24:10,220 --> 00:24:14,600 KT: of provisions. And these things are usually what we cannot 396 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:19,359 KT: purchase on the island like any kind of medical supplies. 397 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:20,530 KT: Or if we have, 398 00:24:20,540 --> 00:24:22,570 Suze: Well, the truth of the matter is there is a 399 00:24:22,570 --> 00:24:25,330 Suze: little market on this market 400 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:26,420 KT: but 401 00:24:26,420 --> 00:24:31,869 Suze: they are so expensive. Truthfully it's not even funny. So 402 00:24:31,869 --> 00:24:36,139 Suze: we bring everything ourselves. I just have to say something else. 403 00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:37,820 Suze: Somebody questioned 404 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,619 Suze: you have customs on this tiny little island. Oh you 405 00:24:41,619 --> 00:24:42,399 Suze: bet we 406 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:48,040 Suze: do. There are customs agents that are stationed here full time. 407 00:24:48,050 --> 00:24:50,930 KT: Okay. So Suze, a lot of people wanted to know about 408 00:24:50,940 --> 00:24:52,820 KT: the jacket that you had on. 409 00:24:52,830 --> 00:24:53,909 Suze: I love that jacket. 410 00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:56,440 KT: That is one of its like a sweater jacket and 411 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:59,649 KT: she bought that. Can I tell them that is from 412 00:24:59,660 --> 00:25:01,770 KT: a market, an open air market 413 00:25:01,940 --> 00:25:04,660 KT: and a gypsy actually made that 414 00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:06,470 Suze: in Spain. We were in Spain, 415 00:25:06,470 --> 00:25:08,010 KT: we were on the camino and 416 00:25:08,010 --> 00:25:09,890 Suze: we were in Santiago Spain 417 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:11,090 KT: and it was 418 00:25:11,090 --> 00:25:13,840 Suze: Like $50. It was maybe even less than that 419 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,850 KT: less than that. But it's one of her favorite favorite 420 00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:18,930 KT: pieces of all times. 421 00:25:18,940 --> 00:25:21,520 Suze: And the last time I got to wear it because 422 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,729 Suze: it's been so hot was when I went to see 423 00:25:24,740 --> 00:25:25,810 Suze: Oprah in 424 00:25:26,890 --> 00:25:31,960 Suze: remember that and Oprah to my surprise, calls me on 425 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,410 Suze: stage and I had that jacket on. I love that 426 00:25:35,420 --> 00:25:36,530 Suze: next question, KT! 427 00:25:36,530 --> 00:25:40,230 KT: Okay. And then some people are asking so KT, where 428 00:25:40,230 --> 00:25:43,640 KT: is your garden? I did not show you the garden 429 00:25:43,650 --> 00:25:47,110 KT: which we had just built because we are ready. We're 430 00:25:47,109 --> 00:25:51,210 KT: preparing now for spring planting. So it's completely empty. 431 00:25:51,220 --> 00:25:54,750 KT: All it is is a massive space... 432 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:59,900 Suze: She pulled every plant before we went to Florida. 433 00:26:00,250 --> 00:26:03,410 KT: And now I'm preparing it for spring planting which will take 434 00:26:03,410 --> 00:26:06,100 KT: place probably in about six weeks. 435 00:26:06,109 --> 00:26:08,720 Suze: Also people asked that it said it looked like I 436 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:13,160 Suze: was driving on the sidewalk. Well we don't have sidewalks 437 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:13,909 Suze: on the island. 438 00:26:14,050 --> 00:26:15,850 KT: But we drive on the 439 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:17,869 KT: British side of the road. 440 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,830 Suze: Yeah, we drive on the British side of the road. However, 441 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:25,890 Suze: we don't have any sidewalks. So yeah, I'm driving on 442 00:26:25,890 --> 00:26:29,199 Suze: this little tiny thing that's like a sidewalk. 443 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,780 KT: It's our road. But we, we only have golf carts. 444 00:26:31,780 --> 00:26:33,990 KT: It's not like you have lanes and pain 445 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:34,970 Suze: we have like and 446 00:26:34,970 --> 00:26:36,140 KT: you drive on the opposite 447 00:26:36,140 --> 00:26:39,540 Suze: And there is one van that comes to the plane 448 00:26:39,550 --> 00:26:41,380 Suze: to load all of your stuff that 449 00:26:41,410 --> 00:26:43,810 Suze: you brought and brings it back in that if you 450 00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:48,190 Suze: look at all the videos, that's Juice, who unloads the planes. 451 00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:52,640 KT: His name is Justin But everyone calls him Juice. We don't know why, 452 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,320 KT: but he's really big and strong and he takes all 453 00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:01,070 KT: of these provisions back to our home Colo unloads everything. 454 00:27:01,070 --> 00:27:05,430 KT: We color code where the different bags go the garage, 455 00:27:05,430 --> 00:27:06,690 KT: Suze's room. 456 00:27:08,090 --> 00:27:13,979 Suze: Those are a few of the answers to your questions. 457 00:27:13,990 --> 00:27:17,810 Suze: But I hope you had fun and you liked seeing 458 00:27:17,810 --> 00:27:19,410 Suze: a little bit of our life 459 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:20,480 KT: a little slice of life 460 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,350 Suze: yes, slice of life. Alright, 461 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,170 Suze: what do you want to say, KT, anything, 462 00:27:25,170 --> 00:27:26,949 KT: What are you doing Sunday? 463 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,300 Suze: Sunday, 464 00:27:28,310 --> 00:27:30,410 KT: She has a look 465 00:27:30,420 --> 00:27:36,139 Suze: Sunday. Listen everybody what's really important is that you all 466 00:27:36,150 --> 00:27:42,420 Suze: tune in this Sunday. We have two surprises for you, 467 00:27:42,430 --> 00:27:45,380 Suze: one that I'm just so touched to be able to 468 00:27:45,390 --> 00:27:47,230 Suze: even say happened 469 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:52,040 Suze: and the other is something all of you have needed 470 00:27:52,050 --> 00:27:55,670 Suze: to know how to do and you didn't know how 471 00:27:55,670 --> 00:27:59,990 Suze: to do it, but very shortly. Oh you will so 472 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,460 Suze: tune in, 473 00:28:01,460 --> 00:28:02,580 KT: listen up. 474 00:28:02,590 --> 00:28:05,680 Suze: But there's one other thing that you need to know 475 00:28:06,010 --> 00:28:11,670 Suze: and it is this today, wherever we go, we 476 00:28:11,670 --> 00:28:12,810 KT: will create 477 00:28:12,820 --> 00:28:14,170 Suze: a peaceful, 478 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:15,570 KT: joyful 479 00:28:15,580 --> 00:28:22,159 Suze: and loving world. Now. You stay safe and secure. Bye 480 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:22,630 Suze: bye 481 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,100 KT: bye. Everybody see you Sunday.