WEBVTT - Self-care: Episode 6 0:00:02.190 --> 0:00:08.250 This is the tortoise. The podcast, all about the possibilities 0:00:08.250 --> 0:00:12.990 of slow. I am your host, Brooke McAlary, and I 0:00:12.990 --> 0:00:16.980 am joined by my marriage host Ben McAlary. 0:00:18.300 --> 0:00:18.900 Well. 0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:22.050 That's really sci fi. 0:00:23.250 --> 0:00:25.349 That's always kind of weird, isn't it? 0:00:26.250 --> 0:00:29.940 This is not a podcast. This is a podcast. Sorry. 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:34.019 You'll get it one day. Yeah. I'm going pretty well. I'm. 0:00:35.850 --> 0:00:39.599 I'm particularly stressed today. There's a lot of deadlines. There's 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:44.610 a lot happening in work life for both of us. 0:00:44.610 --> 0:00:52.180 And we're tilting extremely. Almost to a vertical. We're like 0:00:52.180 --> 0:00:54.370 sliding off the slippery. Let's be honest. 0:00:54.760 --> 0:00:55.830 Slippery dip. Seesaw. 0:00:55.860 --> 0:01:03.770 Seesaw. So. My energy is. Probably a little bit distracted, 0:01:03.770 --> 0:01:08.750 but it's perfect for this topic because this topic is 0:01:08.750 --> 0:01:12.050 all about talking about self-care and it's something that I 0:01:12.050 --> 0:01:16.100 really need to practice right now. So I'm yeah, I'm 0:01:16.100 --> 0:01:18.960 looking forward to, to having a chat with you. 0:01:19.050 --> 0:01:20.660 I think it's going to be a good one. 0:01:21.170 --> 0:01:21.980 Well, let's get into it. 0:01:21.980 --> 0:01:26.040 All right. So do you have a definition for self-care, 0:01:26.700 --> 0:01:29.290 like how you would define it for yourself? 0:01:30.950 --> 0:01:35.660 It was International Self-care Day probably about a month ago. 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:39.800 And I've got a group of men that I sit 0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:45.500 with once a month and we discuss self-care during that 0:01:46.370 --> 0:01:53.990 particular night. And it was so interesting to hear everyone's. 0:01:54.900 --> 0:02:00.960 Definition of what self-care is and. Everyone kept coming back 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:06.090 to this is self-care. Sitting around a table, having a 0:02:06.090 --> 0:02:11.850 discussion that's not about footy and shit. That's just about 0:02:12.300 --> 0:02:16.840 how we're feeling, how we're going. Our mental state just 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:22.480 talking about other stuff. And everyone kept coming back to 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.550 saying like, this is one of the things that I 0:02:24.550 --> 0:02:25.570 do for self-care. 0:02:25.660 --> 0:02:26.400 Interesting. 0:02:26.410 --> 0:02:34.380 Yeah. So it's having real discussion. Real conversation. So that's, 0:02:34.380 --> 0:02:38.810 I guess, one of the definitions of it. 0:02:38.820 --> 0:02:40.810 Well, or is that one example? 0:02:40.889 --> 0:02:43.530 That's that's an example. You're right. That's a that's an 0:02:43.530 --> 0:02:44.940 example of it. I was just. 0:02:44.940 --> 0:02:47.640 Curious because it means so much to like so many 0:02:47.639 --> 0:02:49.350 different things to everybody. 0:02:49.350 --> 0:02:54.450 Yeah. I struggle a little bit with self care in 0:02:54.450 --> 0:03:00.870 the way that you've written about it previously. Whether that is. 0:03:00.870 --> 0:03:02.520 And I do try a lot of things when it 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:06.660 comes to self-care. Some things I think work better than others. 0:03:07.389 --> 0:03:09.639 But do you have a definition of self-care? 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:13.270 No, not really. I sort of had a look around 0:03:13.270 --> 0:03:16.270 because it's actually quite tricky to come up with a 0:03:16.270 --> 0:03:21.369 succinct definition, but it's essentially, you know, you look online, 0:03:21.370 --> 0:03:27.160 there's many different versions of kind of a similarly themed definition, 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:33.310 which is something along the lines of referring to activities 0:03:33.460 --> 0:03:37.869 that preserve I'm reading this one that preserve and maintain 0:03:37.870 --> 0:03:40.660 one's physical, emotional and mental health. 0:03:40.780 --> 0:03:41.860 Oh, okay. 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:45.850 It's an ongoing commitment to look after yourself through helpful 0:03:45.850 --> 0:03:49.930 behaviors that protect your health during periods of stress, as 0:03:49.930 --> 0:03:53.050 well as an additional kind of element to that. And 0:03:53.050 --> 0:03:55.270 that one I quite liked because it's very broad. 0:03:55.840 --> 0:04:00.970 I like the three categories physical, emotional and mental. Yes. 0:04:00.970 --> 0:04:06.910 So the sitting around with other men. Talking, sharing a 0:04:06.910 --> 0:04:12.010 meal for me that's like emotional. Oh, yeah. More. More 0:04:12.010 --> 0:04:15.730 so than mental. But I guess they're kind of intertwined. 0:04:16.830 --> 0:04:20.670 Because I was going to say, the physical self-care that 0:04:20.670 --> 0:04:25.739 I like is exercising and having a regular exercising schedule. 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:33.120 My mental and emotional state deteriorate if I don't do 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:38.360 the physical exercise. So can and I guess that's how 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:43.770 they're all interlinked is Yeah. Making sure that you're. Yeah, 0:04:43.770 --> 0:04:45.120 they all relate to one. Yeah. Yeah. 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:47.850 I don't think I think in the practices you can 0:04:47.850 --> 0:04:50.609 certainly separate them out and have, you know, as you said, 0:04:50.610 --> 0:04:54.270 maybe exercise or regular movement is something that you would 0:04:54.270 --> 0:04:58.890 categorize yourself as physical self-care. But I think it's really 0:04:58.890 --> 0:05:02.729 difficult to kind of separate them completely and have them 0:05:02.730 --> 0:05:05.370 in their own silos because, you know, what we do 0:05:05.370 --> 0:05:10.000 physically impacts our mental health, which impacts our emotional health. 0:05:10.020 --> 0:05:13.260 You can't you can't fully separate them out. Yeah. The 0:05:13.260 --> 0:05:16.620 other thing that I don't know if you would have 0:05:16.620 --> 0:05:19.230 considered it, but it's part of certainly part of my, 0:05:20.430 --> 0:05:23.220 I guess, definition or the way I try and think 0:05:23.220 --> 0:05:26.850 about and practice self-care is that there are some elements 0:05:26.850 --> 0:05:31.950 or examples of self-care that are external facing. So things 0:05:31.950 --> 0:05:36.570 like your gathering of men where you talk and you know, 0:05:36.570 --> 0:05:38.520 or it could be catching up with a friend or 0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:42.479 talking to a family member or just a wave to 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:45.570 a stranger, whatever, you know, kind of connection or a 0:05:45.570 --> 0:05:48.570 random act of kindness, something like that. They're all what 0:05:48.570 --> 0:05:51.630 I would classify as sort of outward facing. And then 0:05:51.630 --> 0:05:55.470 you've got inward facing. So that's more your the stuff 0:05:55.470 --> 0:05:59.609 that I'm I'm probably more drawn to just because I'm 0:05:59.610 --> 0:06:04.950 super introverted journaling and meditation and solitude and creativity and 0:06:04.950 --> 0:06:08.640 that kind of stuff. So it's been helpful for me 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:12.789 to recognize that there going to be times where, um, 0:06:13.740 --> 0:06:17.909 those external or outward facing types of self care might 0:06:17.910 --> 0:06:21.210 feel more draining than others, and it may be not 0:06:21.210 --> 0:06:23.430 what I need right now. So if I'm feeling burnt 0:06:23.430 --> 0:06:28.380 out or over socialized, then perhaps going and hanging out 0:06:28.380 --> 0:06:31.320 with a group of people is not going to make 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:34.200 me feel supported from within. It might still be good 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:37.050 for me, but it may not tick that self-care box 0:06:37.050 --> 0:06:39.000 at that time. And that's where I might need to 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:43.710 turn inward and find a practice that helps me feel 0:06:43.710 --> 0:06:46.290 supported from within and cared for from within. And I 0:06:46.290 --> 0:06:50.280 guess that's really how I classify self-care, feeling supported or 0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:51.720 cared for from within. 0:06:51.900 --> 0:06:55.500 Okay. So that that's your definition of self-care. 0:06:55.500 --> 0:06:59.630 I think that's how I can. Sort of quickly quantify 0:06:59.630 --> 0:07:02.109 whether or not I'm doing a decent enough job of it. 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:04.820 Do I feel cared for from within? 0:07:05.210 --> 0:07:08.150 So this is what I was kind of referring to 0:07:08.570 --> 0:07:13.820 at the start, is that I can't or don't have the. 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:20.559 Smarts to be able to tap into that sort of self. 0:07:20.980 --> 0:07:26.140 Self care. The the inwardly focused self care. 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:27.970 Well, maybe you don't need it though either. 0:07:29.410 --> 0:07:31.570 And so is a personality based, do you think? I 0:07:31.570 --> 0:07:33.370 don't know. I guess I don't ever want. 0:07:33.370 --> 0:07:35.470 I don't want people to feel bad about like, doing 0:07:35.470 --> 0:07:37.840 or not doing certain types of self care. That's all I. 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:41.560 Know. It's very individualized. That's obvious. 0:07:42.070 --> 0:07:45.880 What I will say is for you, I think. I 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:50.010 think you probably. Would benefit from some of those more 0:07:50.010 --> 0:07:55.560 like interfacing practices, but maybe haven't found ones that suit 0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:58.950 you yet. You have tried meditation and you know, you'll 0:07:58.950 --> 0:08:00.840 occasionally say, Yeah, this is really. 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:01.890 Yeah. 0:08:02.250 --> 0:08:02.880 Good for me. 0:08:03.030 --> 0:08:05.010 It's just part of my routine. 0:08:05.010 --> 0:08:07.320 And see, that's it. So is it not helping you 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.239 because it's not part of your routine or is it 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:13.560 not helping you because it doesn't really fulfill you in 0:08:13.590 --> 0:08:18.300 that way? It's interesting. I think that I'm probably more 0:08:18.300 --> 0:08:24.410 well-practiced in those, those like self reflection sort of. You know, 0:08:24.410 --> 0:08:28.100 moments through journaling and just being like an A grade 0:08:28.100 --> 0:08:36.170 Overthinker and that's not necessarily you. So. Yeah, I don't know. But, 0:08:36.170 --> 0:08:39.050 I mean, I've often said to you when you're going 0:08:39.050 --> 0:08:42.650 through periods of stress. Why don't you try this strategy like, 0:08:42.650 --> 0:08:46.609 you know, morning pages or meditation or, you know, a 0:08:46.610 --> 0:08:50.030 really simple mindfulness practice or something like that. And you 0:08:50.030 --> 0:08:51.410 might do it once and you'll be like, Yeah, it 0:08:51.410 --> 0:08:53.030 was good. And then that's it. 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:58.520 Morning Pages. I do do a similar it's not morning 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.940 pages as you do it where. Yeah, sure. State of conscience. 0:09:02.190 --> 0:09:02.960 Stream like a stream. 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:07.910 Of conscience flow state where you just writing anything and 0:09:07.910 --> 0:09:10.520 everything and if you can't think of anything to write, 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.220 you write. I can't think of anything to write, which 0:09:13.220 --> 0:09:17.540 is kind of cool. But I, I do a similar 0:09:17.540 --> 0:09:22.910 activity where I just brain dump. It's, it doesn't necessarily 0:09:22.910 --> 0:09:26.570 make a whole heap of sense, but it does give 0:09:26.570 --> 0:09:30.829 me an idea of what are my priorities today work wise, 0:09:31.100 --> 0:09:38.470 family wise. And self like self care wise, I guess 0:09:38.470 --> 0:09:44.000 to an extent because I use. Like physical exercise as 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:51.510 part of that. And. Yeah. Yeah. Our dog is building 0:09:51.510 --> 0:09:53.490 a cubby house. 0:09:53.910 --> 0:09:56.430 Dreams of some sort of doggie fort, which is nice. 0:09:56.429 --> 0:10:00.620 That might be what he needs. He's having some self-care moments. Um. 0:10:01.630 --> 0:10:03.790 Yeah. So that's the morning pages. So I do I 0:10:03.790 --> 0:10:05.860 do get the benefit of that. And you've spoken about 0:10:05.860 --> 0:10:08.170 Morning pages. What would you I guess what would your 0:10:08.170 --> 0:10:14.689 advice be to someone that. Is typically saying, Well, I 0:10:14.690 --> 0:10:18.559 don't have time for self-care in the more traditional sense 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:21.920 of self care, because that's where often I find myself 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:25.010 and that'll be my excuse. I'm not meditating because I 0:10:25.010 --> 0:10:25.730 don't have the time. 0:10:26.179 --> 0:10:29.690 Yeah, I think I don't like advice. I don't like 0:10:29.690 --> 0:10:33.949 giving advice so much, But something that I do often 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:40.189 find myself referring back to is changing your focus on. 0:10:41.190 --> 0:10:45.510 The outcome. So I find that when we talk about anything, 0:10:45.510 --> 0:10:49.079 it could be creative. It could be creativity, it could 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:53.760 be self care, it could be movement, whatever. Um, we 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:59.160 so often focus on how it looks, right? So for you, 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.590 you just mentioned I don't meditate. I don't do these 0:11:01.590 --> 0:11:06.650 things that you've decided that that's what self-care looks like, right? 0:11:06.660 --> 0:11:11.140 It looks like meditation. It looks like, um, you know, mindfulness. 0:11:11.140 --> 0:11:17.780 It looks like morning pages. It looks like whatever. Refocusing 0:11:17.780 --> 0:11:22.040 our attention on how it feels. So finding your own 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:27.579 definition of self-care. For me, it's that again. Feeling cared 0:11:27.580 --> 0:11:31.720 for from within and supported from within. So not getting 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:35.470 that validation or that sense of nurturing from someone else, 0:11:35.740 --> 0:11:40.060 but from myself. And if I can find what that 0:11:40.059 --> 0:11:42.880 feels like, if it's a physical sensation, if it's an 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:48.250 emotional response, uh, and try and then find things that 0:11:48.250 --> 0:11:53.020 will offer that in really small bite sized pieces. So 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:56.590 like I view certain, some things that really weird little things, 0:11:56.590 --> 0:11:59.560 I view them as self-care because for whatever reason I 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:00.760 feel cared for when I do them. 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:04.210 Like, okay, well let's give some examples because this fascinates me. 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:08.140 So clearing the kitchen bench before I go to bed. 0:12:08.140 --> 0:12:09.579 I mean, we'll have a cup of tea after we've 0:12:09.580 --> 0:12:13.360 cleaned up, right? And for ages we would just put 0:12:13.630 --> 0:12:16.480 we don't have a dishwasher in our house because it's old. 0:12:17.770 --> 0:12:20.650 So we would just put our teacups on the kitchen 0:12:20.650 --> 0:12:22.870 bench and be. They'll be there in the morning. We'll 0:12:22.870 --> 0:12:26.410 clean them up then. I didn't realize, but that kind 0:12:26.410 --> 0:12:31.140 of really frustrated me. So just washing them up and dry, like, 0:12:31.150 --> 0:12:33.220 you know, drying them or putting them in the sink 0:12:33.220 --> 0:12:37.089 so I can't even see them. That feels like self-care 0:12:37.330 --> 0:12:39.280 because I get up in the morning and it's a 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:42.699 clear space. Like that's a ridiculous thing, but it feels 0:12:42.700 --> 0:12:47.469 like self-care. Same with opening the curtains every morning. I 0:12:47.470 --> 0:12:51.610 find that ritual and I call it a ritual in 0:12:51.610 --> 0:12:54.880 my head, which might be something to consider as well. 0:12:54.970 --> 0:12:58.569 That ritual of opening the of opening the curtains greeting 0:12:58.570 --> 0:13:03.730 the day feels really grounding and centering. And it's just 0:13:03.730 --> 0:13:05.620 a tiny little moment for me that I would be 0:13:05.620 --> 0:13:09.550 doing anyway. But I've found it to be a shortcut 0:13:09.550 --> 0:13:14.440 to that sense of feeling cared for or supported from within. Weird. 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:19.689 I know. Um, having. So I have to take a 0:13:19.690 --> 0:13:21.910 tablet first thing in the morning when I wake up. 0:13:22.450 --> 0:13:24.310 I get that out the night before and have it 0:13:24.309 --> 0:13:27.040 next to my bed with a glass of water that 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:30.850 feels like self-care, taking my supplements, that is self-care, that 0:13:30.850 --> 0:13:34.030 is literally self-care. But I treat it as a moment 0:13:34.030 --> 0:13:38.950 of supporting myself and caring for myself rather than some 0:13:39.010 --> 0:13:41.920 thing that I have to do that I have to take. 0:13:42.429 --> 0:13:46.209 Because you spoke. So you're just speaking about rituals slash habits? 0:13:46.210 --> 0:13:49.750 Sure. Yeah. And in part it's it's reframing those things. 0:13:49.750 --> 0:13:52.540 So you were talking about not having time. So I 0:13:52.540 --> 0:13:56.800 guess there's a way of maybe shortcutting that's finding things 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.740 that offer you a shortcut to that sense of feeling 0:13:59.740 --> 0:14:05.020 cared for as your, you know, your bare minimum rituals 0:14:05.020 --> 0:14:16.939 or habits of self-care. You look perplexed. 0:14:17.210 --> 0:14:23.440 I'm interested. Because if I was to because I love 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:25.600 writing down what I need to do in a day, 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:30.970 and if I start writing in those habitual, maybe self 0:14:30.970 --> 0:14:36.660 care orientated things, they would just be part of that list. 0:14:36.670 --> 0:14:39.010 So that's sort of one way. Instead of it being 0:14:39.010 --> 0:14:43.380 a subconscious thing, it needs to be actually planned for. 0:14:43.390 --> 0:14:47.800 Oh yeah, you can't like until these things become second 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:50.980 nature like deeply ingrained second nature. You have to be 0:14:50.980 --> 0:14:52.780 intentional about it, like, and I. 0:14:52.780 --> 0:14:54.820 Think that's the biggest barrier for me. 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:57.880 It's a practice and that you call it a practice 0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:01.330 for a reason, you know, And I will fall in 0:15:01.330 --> 0:15:03.790 and out of practices all the time. Up until about 0:15:03.790 --> 0:15:08.200 six months ago, I had a solid self-care ritual in 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:10.810 the morning that was, you know, get up, put the 0:15:10.810 --> 0:15:14.860 coffee on stretch, pour coffee, come and sit out in 0:15:14.860 --> 0:15:19.820 the back room, write in my journal, drink my coffee, meditate, write. 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:23.200 You know, all they were all part of my morning 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:26.470 self-care ritual until about six months ago. And then I 0:15:26.470 --> 0:15:29.020 realized that just because of where my health is at 0:15:29.020 --> 0:15:31.960 the moment, the best self-care I can give myself in 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:34.630 the mornings is actually to sleep for the extra hour. 0:15:34.990 --> 0:15:36.729 So that's what I've been doing, you know? So you 0:15:36.730 --> 0:15:38.830 fall in and out of them all the time, but 0:15:39.070 --> 0:15:45.900 it's to me. I don't know that we clock the 0:15:45.900 --> 0:15:49.200 the care that we're giving ourselves unless we're doing it intentionally. 0:15:49.410 --> 0:15:51.810 So you could be like going through all the motions 0:15:51.810 --> 0:15:55.500 and you do you prioritize sleep, you prioritize good nutrition, 0:15:55.500 --> 0:15:59.580 you prioritize movement, you prioritize connection. And it's interesting to 0:15:59.580 --> 0:16:01.440 me that you don't see any of those things as 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:06.390 self-care because maybe you haven't clocked them as an intentional 0:16:06.390 --> 0:16:08.070 choice to care for yourself. 0:16:09.060 --> 0:16:12.120 I agree with that. I really agree with that. Going 0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:16.020 back to the men's table that I'm involved in and 0:16:16.020 --> 0:16:18.960 the different themes that came up during the topic of 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:23.420 self care, one of the biggest. In fact, I think 0:16:23.420 --> 0:16:27.020 every single person spoke about it. And we're talking about 0:16:27.020 --> 0:16:30.740 like an intergenerational table here from, Yeah, 80 year olds 0:16:30.740 --> 0:16:37.680 down to to younger adults. And it was nature. Being 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:45.420 in nature and connecting with nature, whether that's bushwalkers, mountain biking. 0:16:46.940 --> 0:16:53.230 Every man. Said that as nature is so important because 0:16:53.830 --> 0:16:59.680 inevitably the topic got on to tech and tech usage 0:16:59.920 --> 0:17:04.240 and being addicted to phones and devices and always on 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:09.690 always connected to step away from that connected world. Is 0:17:09.700 --> 0:17:15.780 a is a really, really important. Thing to do in 0:17:15.780 --> 0:17:17.340 regards to self-care. 0:17:18.210 --> 0:17:22.669 That's really interesting because the way you. Sort of spoke 0:17:22.670 --> 0:17:27.720 about it. These weren't necessarily people well versed in self-care. 0:17:27.740 --> 0:17:30.560 Not at all. Particularly like modern ideas of self care. 0:17:31.070 --> 0:17:34.219 Everyone had to get really warmed up to talk about 0:17:34.220 --> 0:17:39.010 self care. Yeah, it wasn't it didn't come naturally. People 0:17:39.010 --> 0:17:44.320 immediately went to. Talking to a counsellor or talking to 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:49.360 a professional about their mental health. That was like the 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:52.180 first thing people said. Some people said. 0:17:52.780 --> 0:17:58.490 Right, So there's a real. Real crossover or like maybe 0:17:58.490 --> 0:18:04.139 there's confusion around the difference between self help and self care. 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:07.280 I agree for a lot of people, I think yeah, 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:09.950 that's exactly, exactly it. 0:18:10.730 --> 0:18:13.490 That's really interesting. But I mean, going back to nature, 0:18:13.490 --> 0:18:18.110 I think that that just shows how wired we are 0:18:18.109 --> 0:18:24.310 for the healing power of nature as. As self care 0:18:24.430 --> 0:18:27.430 know and any dose of nature and I write about 0:18:27.430 --> 0:18:31.480 it in care a lot is is going to have 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:35.200 a positive impact. I mean even looking at a photo 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:39.250 of nature or listening to birdsong or being in a 0:18:39.250 --> 0:18:42.370 room that has a view of a tree, they are 0:18:42.369 --> 0:18:46.389 going to positively benefit us in a self care sense. 0:18:46.510 --> 0:18:50.560 So actively seeking out moments of nature, even if they 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:52.990 are those tiny little ones or, you know, paying attention 0:18:52.990 --> 0:18:55.629 to the grass when you're walking to the bus stop or, 0:18:55.630 --> 0:18:59.710 you know, getting outside for five minutes and pulling weeds 0:18:59.710 --> 0:19:02.500 or laying in the sun and listening to the sun on. 0:19:02.500 --> 0:19:07.119 Your face and yeah, eyes and yeah, mouth and face 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:08.520 and yeah, it's so important. 0:19:08.530 --> 0:19:12.040 Soaking it in, you know, in whatever capacity. It's it's 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:14.650 fascinating to me that people who didn't have any language 0:19:14.650 --> 0:19:18.879 around self-care still highlighted the importance of nature. 0:19:18.970 --> 0:19:21.969 What about that walk that we did recently with our 0:19:21.970 --> 0:19:25.629 kids that started off with at least one of them saying, 0:19:25.630 --> 0:19:27.310 there's no way I want to do this. I don't 0:19:27.310 --> 0:19:32.300 want to do this kicking and dragging for this. Nature walk, 0:19:32.570 --> 0:19:39.670 you know, seven nature walk. And the conversations were just 0:19:39.670 --> 0:19:43.179 so funny at the start of the walk. They were 0:19:43.180 --> 0:19:49.230 all about. Talking about things, about tech, about gaming, about. 0:19:50.290 --> 0:19:56.550 Social media like they were the topics. By KM five 0:19:56.560 --> 0:19:59.500 it was Look at that flower. Look at the way 0:19:59.500 --> 0:20:02.830 the the lights hitting those leaves. Look at this awesome 0:20:02.830 --> 0:20:06.940 stick I've got you know it can carry like. Mm. 0:20:07.300 --> 0:20:08.560 That's the power of it. 0:20:08.590 --> 0:20:12.820 Do you feel that when you go out into nature intentionally, 0:20:12.820 --> 0:20:15.460 do you feel is there a point where things change 0:20:15.460 --> 0:20:15.730 for you? 0:20:15.760 --> 0:20:22.430 Yeah. They click over. They it's it's. Yeah, it's very noticeable, actually. 0:20:22.460 --> 0:20:24.170 Like a decompression or something. 0:20:24.260 --> 0:20:25.040 Yeah. 0:20:26.220 --> 0:20:26.820 Yeah. 0:20:28.310 --> 0:20:31.910 Because I never really the senses just get over. It's 0:20:31.910 --> 0:20:37.410 a with social media your senses can get. Bombarded, crazily 0:20:37.410 --> 0:20:43.630 bombarded with just input after input after input. The similar 0:20:43.630 --> 0:20:49.180 inputs in nature, if you like, slow down and just. 0:20:50.020 --> 0:20:55.359 Take everything in the noise, the light, the the animals, 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:59.440 the the way that your legs are, you know, like 0:20:59.440 --> 0:21:04.390 everything all the sensors just it's. It's loud. Like it's 0:21:04.390 --> 0:21:13.879 a really loud noise. But for whatever reason, it's restorative. Restorative. Yes, it's. It's. 0:21:14.690 --> 0:21:18.640 But I don't know. There's something different about nature and 0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:22.070 and and I'm not just not saying it right, but 0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:25.040 the noise in nature is quite loud if you allow it. 0:21:25.070 --> 0:21:28.130 Absolutely. And that's paying attention, Right? That's, you know, that's 0:21:28.130 --> 0:21:33.680 actively noticing using all your senses. You become aware of 0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:37.639 what's happening around you and inside you and to you 0:21:37.640 --> 0:21:43.260 and because of you. And I think. While like social media, 0:21:43.260 --> 0:21:49.649 for example, tech use is similarly stimulating, almost all of 0:21:49.650 --> 0:21:54.480 that stimulation is happening from our neck up. We're not 0:21:54.480 --> 0:22:01.350 physically feeling anything except maybe, you know, scrolling thumb, tired eyes, whatever. But. 0:22:02.770 --> 0:22:06.280 Everything is coming in via our eyes and our ears, 0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:09.840 and it's all happening in our heads. So it's a 0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:16.210 totally different sense of overstimulation. And again, going back to 0:22:16.210 --> 0:22:20.080 what happens when we are intentional with it. You know, 0:22:20.080 --> 0:22:24.609 you start to recognize that decompression point when you're outside or, 0:22:24.609 --> 0:22:28.540 you know that moment where your shoulders like, go relax. Yeah, 0:22:28.630 --> 0:22:32.400 I always find like this kind of. If I go 0:22:32.400 --> 0:22:35.080 out into the bush for a bush walk? And I'm 0:22:35.080 --> 0:22:40.210 in a bad mood. I don't know, maybe ten minutes 0:22:40.210 --> 0:22:43.030 in and I'm smiling like an idiot at the trees 0:22:43.030 --> 0:22:45.700 and the flowers and the birds and, you know, stopping 0:22:45.700 --> 0:22:49.300 to look at things. And it's just such a shift. 0:22:49.300 --> 0:22:53.869 And it's so. Obvious. Every time I like never once 0:22:53.869 --> 0:22:56.780 have I gone, Gee, I wish I didn't do that. Gee, 0:22:56.780 --> 0:23:00.109 I regret going out and doing that. It never happens. 0:23:00.170 --> 0:23:04.399 It never happens at once. Same with exercise or, you know, 0:23:04.400 --> 0:23:07.460 anything like that. And I guess that's where going back 0:23:07.460 --> 0:23:12.600 to your point about. Learning to be intentional with it. 0:23:14.270 --> 0:23:19.129 That paired with the realization that these things are never wasted, 0:23:19.130 --> 0:23:22.550 these these efforts to care for ourselves and never wasted 0:23:22.550 --> 0:23:26.030 pair that with intentionality. That's where you start to build 0:23:26.030 --> 0:23:29.869 a practice of self-care that really does leave you feeling 0:23:29.869 --> 0:23:32.899 supported and cared for from within. I think. 0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:40.170 What if I ask you for your top three self-care habits? Rituals. 0:23:41.200 --> 0:23:43.330 What would you how would you rank them and why? 0:23:43.869 --> 0:23:48.270 Rank. Oh, okay. I'm not going to rank them. That 0:23:48.270 --> 0:23:54.480 makes me nervous. I don't know why. So the thing 0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:58.530 that I will always, always come back to, aside from nature, 0:23:59.430 --> 0:24:00.629 is journaling. 0:24:00.840 --> 0:24:04.500 Always because which is different to morning pages. When you 0:24:04.500 --> 0:24:05.760 mean journaling, what are you actually? 0:24:05.880 --> 0:24:07.380 Journaling can mean so many different things. 0:24:07.410 --> 0:24:09.420 Okay, so what do you how do you journal then? 0:24:09.420 --> 0:24:12.270 So I often journal in a morning pages style. It 0:24:12.270 --> 0:24:15.780 may not. It used to be a solid three pages. 0:24:15.780 --> 0:24:19.830 Do not stop writing, do not ever go over or 0:24:19.830 --> 0:24:24.420 under that. And that was building my practice that was recognizing. 0:24:24.420 --> 0:24:27.270 So hard to do. I've tried to do it and 0:24:27.270 --> 0:24:29.129 it is really hard. 0:24:29.130 --> 0:24:32.910 Yes, it is. But to me it has been like 0:24:32.910 --> 0:24:40.190 a complete. Kind of turning point over the years. And 0:24:40.190 --> 0:24:44.869 I have come to know myself so incredibly well through 0:24:44.869 --> 0:24:48.439 that process of morning pages simply because it is hard, 0:24:48.680 --> 0:24:52.130 you know, yes, anyone can sit down and write surface 0:24:52.130 --> 0:24:55.040 level stuff, you know, concerns or things that are going 0:24:55.040 --> 0:24:56.750 on this week and why you're in a bad mood 0:24:56.750 --> 0:24:58.909 or who said what pissed you off or that you 0:24:58.910 --> 0:25:01.820 can anyone can do that for a page. Absolutely. Maybe two. 0:25:01.820 --> 0:25:02.990 But it's not until you get to the end of 0:25:02.990 --> 0:25:07.369 the second page. In my experience, that stuff starts to 0:25:07.369 --> 0:25:09.650 come out and you're like, Where did you come from? 0:25:09.770 --> 0:25:12.710 And I have learned so much about myself through that 0:25:12.710 --> 0:25:16.220 exact process. And I think I think I'm now at 0:25:16.220 --> 0:25:19.429 the point where I can shortcut to that. So journaling 0:25:19.430 --> 0:25:23.510 is in essence, the same kind of approach stream of consciousness, 0:25:23.510 --> 0:25:27.200 but I don't necessarily need to dig around for those 0:25:27.200 --> 0:25:31.070 three pages. I often find myself where I kind of 0:25:31.070 --> 0:25:34.040 knew I was headed, but not sure what I was 0:25:34.040 --> 0:25:37.490 going to find. Much quicker than that. But sometimes journaling 0:25:37.490 --> 0:25:40.729 is like writing a couple of paragraphs about, you know, 0:25:40.910 --> 0:25:44.119 precisely how I'm feeling, and then I might shift into 0:25:44.119 --> 0:25:47.060 a poem or that might be it, or it might be, 0:25:47.060 --> 0:25:49.160 you know, a list of things, or it might, I 0:25:49.160 --> 0:25:51.950 might end up writing about work or drafting out a 0:25:51.950 --> 0:25:56.460 post like it's, it's not a. Cut and dried technique 0:25:56.460 --> 0:26:00.390 for me anymore. But it's the thing I always come 0:26:00.390 --> 0:26:02.460 back to. And if I get lost, if I'm stuck, 0:26:02.460 --> 0:26:06.390 if I'm overwhelmed, if I'm everything else is too much, 0:26:06.720 --> 0:26:11.060 I will always find myself back on the page. So 0:26:11.060 --> 0:26:15.030 there's that. This gardening. 0:26:15.359 --> 0:26:16.560 Okay. Nature. 0:26:16.619 --> 0:26:21.720 Yeah. So being outside, hands in the dirt, feet, preferably barefooted, 0:26:21.720 --> 0:26:26.010 you know, coming in tired. I've got a bit of a. 0:26:27.080 --> 0:26:31.670 Strained relationship with that at the moment. Just with your energy. Yeah, 0:26:31.670 --> 0:26:36.390 my energy. So up and down it has been. Not 0:26:36.390 --> 0:26:39.750 completely missing, but I've had to completely rethink what it 0:26:39.750 --> 0:26:42.750 looks like. And again, that's where I'm trying to take 0:26:42.750 --> 0:26:46.560 my own advice of like not focusing on what it 0:26:46.560 --> 0:26:51.389 looks like. So it used to be. You know, wait 0:26:51.390 --> 0:26:53.850 and prepare this garden bed. That's what it would look 0:26:53.850 --> 0:26:56.220 like and that would feel like success. Now it's like, 0:26:56.220 --> 0:26:58.560 how do I want to feel? And I might feel 0:26:58.560 --> 0:27:03.060 fulfilled or I might feel that exhausted kind of sensation 0:27:03.060 --> 0:27:06.449 in my muscles after five minutes, or I might feel 0:27:06.450 --> 0:27:10.380 like that's enough and that is enough. So the gardening. 0:27:14.130 --> 0:27:17.700 And then okay, so I've got boring self care that 0:27:17.700 --> 0:27:21.399 I would also classify as super important boring self. 0:27:21.420 --> 0:27:22.379 Yeah. Okay. 0:27:22.530 --> 0:27:26.010 That's things like taking my supplements, making sure I'm taking 0:27:26.010 --> 0:27:30.480 my medication, drinking enough water, not having coffee after lunchtime. Well, that's. 0:27:30.480 --> 0:27:32.910 Just setting yourself up for success. 0:27:32.910 --> 0:27:35.370 But that's self-care. Yeah, that is self-care. You know, you're 0:27:35.369 --> 0:27:41.729 caring for yourself so that you can feel, well, mentally, physically, emotionally. 0:27:41.730 --> 0:27:45.590 Which means that you can then. Move through your day 0:27:45.590 --> 0:27:49.040 in a much more positive way. No matter what it 0:27:49.040 --> 0:27:52.520 throws at you, you know, And that like that is self-care. 0:27:52.520 --> 0:27:55.430 It doesn't have to leave you with this glowing sensation 0:27:55.430 --> 0:28:00.200 of of, you know, self righteousness or something. It's just 0:28:00.200 --> 0:28:03.590 looking after yourself. So going to bed, getting, trying to 0:28:03.590 --> 0:28:06.770 get eight hours sleep every night, moving when I can, 0:28:08.180 --> 0:28:15.350 I would classify. A connection with other people is somewhere between. 0:28:16.140 --> 0:28:20.430 Boring is the wrong word, almost begrudging self-care and really 0:28:20.430 --> 0:28:24.600 powerful self-care. Because I'm. I'm very introverted and have often 0:28:24.600 --> 0:28:28.439 joked that I would probably be a hermit if left 0:28:28.440 --> 0:28:31.320 my own devices. That's not good for me. I know that. 0:28:32.400 --> 0:28:38.960 So ensuring I connect with people. Is really important as well. 0:28:40.140 --> 0:28:41.010 That's a good three. 0:28:41.400 --> 0:28:43.170 Yeah, I feel like there was about 17 in there, 0:28:43.170 --> 0:28:47.580 but thank you. Do you have any that you would 0:28:47.580 --> 0:28:51.180 classify as. Kind of top tier for you? 0:28:51.290 --> 0:28:56.440 Yeah. So physically, like moving. Exercising. It's the big one 0:28:56.440 --> 0:29:01.600 for me and something I've only really developed and prioritized 0:29:01.960 --> 0:29:05.760 over the last maybe 3 or 4 years. But it 0:29:05.760 --> 0:29:14.890 is so important. Feeling healthy. It's just it's a really 0:29:14.890 --> 0:29:18.550 nice feeling to be able to feel, to say, Yeah, 0:29:18.550 --> 0:29:21.730 I'm feeling healthy, I'm feeling the best I can be 0:29:21.730 --> 0:29:24.070 at the moment. And I think exercise goes a long 0:29:24.070 --> 0:29:28.120 way of supporting that from a physical sense and mental. 0:29:28.120 --> 0:29:34.900 I guess the other one is yeah, talking to other 0:29:34.900 --> 0:29:40.150 people about. In just having this conversation, for example, is 0:29:40.150 --> 0:29:48.709 a is a form of self-care. Having interesting conversations with people. Just. Yeah, 0:29:48.720 --> 0:29:51.240 really works for me. And that's probably because I'm a 0:29:51.240 --> 0:29:53.310 bit more of an extrovert than you are. I don't 0:29:53.310 --> 0:29:55.920 know what I am. I think you're I don't have 0:29:55.920 --> 0:30:02.260 a label, but that to me is. Really important for 0:30:02.260 --> 0:30:06.820 for my emotional and mental state. And the third one 0:30:06.820 --> 0:30:09.550 is an interesting one. I'm going to have to say 0:30:09.790 --> 0:30:15.710 nature again, just being outside, taking those, whether it's ten 0:30:15.710 --> 0:30:20.470 minutes at lunchtime, just to be outside in whatever weather, 0:30:20.620 --> 0:30:25.780 just feel like I'm connecting on another level that is 0:30:25.780 --> 0:30:27.540 not tech. 0:30:27.550 --> 0:30:32.080 Yep. So, you know, what about chopping firewood? Could you 0:30:32.080 --> 0:30:36.880 could you find a way to make that a self-care moment? Yeah. 0:30:37.240 --> 0:30:39.700 As long as I pay attention to where the blade is. 0:30:39.790 --> 0:30:42.640 Yeah, please do. Please do. 0:30:42.670 --> 0:30:43.300 Don't turn off. 0:30:43.300 --> 0:30:46.520 Completely. No, but that's it. I think it's interesting that you. 0:30:46.620 --> 0:30:50.200 You thought you have to turn off. It's actually turning on. 0:30:50.500 --> 0:30:51.940 Just a different part of your brain. 0:30:51.940 --> 0:30:56.350 Yeah. Yeah. But it's paying closer attention to what you're doing. 0:30:56.470 --> 0:30:59.920 It's not going into some dreamland in your mind where 0:30:59.920 --> 0:31:03.640 you're detached, but it's actually the opposite. I think of that. 0:31:04.150 --> 0:31:08.290 It's becoming like reattached to what you're doing because most 0:31:08.290 --> 0:31:12.800 of your work, for example, is. Again from the neck up. 0:31:12.810 --> 0:31:16.500 You know, you do a lot of talking, a lot 0:31:16.500 --> 0:31:21.280 of thinking, a lot of writing. So, you know, using 0:31:21.280 --> 0:31:24.370 that trip out to the shed and the ten minutes 0:31:24.370 --> 0:31:28.060 of chopping wood a day as a something you got 0:31:28.060 --> 0:31:30.820 to do anyway. Yeah. It's like a ritual, a moment 0:31:30.820 --> 0:31:34.240 where you can shift into a different mode of being 0:31:34.240 --> 0:31:35.770 for a little while. It's so interesting. 0:31:35.770 --> 0:31:40.360 Being in an office at which I am sometimes and. 0:31:40.510 --> 0:31:42.730 Like an actual office with actual people, other people. 0:31:42.730 --> 0:31:46.960 Within it, in the office. And after lunch you can 0:31:46.960 --> 0:31:49.150 tell the people that have left the office and you 0:31:49.150 --> 0:31:51.280 can tell the people that stayed at the office to 0:31:51.280 --> 0:31:52.150 have lunch. 0:31:52.360 --> 0:31:55.090 Okay. In what way? In what way? 0:31:55.630 --> 0:32:01.090 Well, sometimes people are wet because it was raining. No, Because. 0:32:06.270 --> 0:32:11.190 People look brighter and happier when they've been out. Even 0:32:11.190 --> 0:32:13.560 if they ate lunch and just went for a walk 0:32:13.560 --> 0:32:17.490 or whatever, you could tell people that have got up, 0:32:17.490 --> 0:32:23.530 moved around, move their bodies gone outside. They just seem 0:32:23.530 --> 0:32:28.810 more clear headed. They're friendlier to approach. It's really strange, 0:32:28.810 --> 0:32:32.650 I know, but I. Give me a cross-section of people 0:32:32.650 --> 0:32:34.330 and I'll be able to tell which ones have been 0:32:34.330 --> 0:32:37.570 outside for lunch or just taking some time for themselves 0:32:38.230 --> 0:32:39.430 away from their desks. 0:32:39.580 --> 0:32:42.490 I wonder if that's huge, if that's partly like getting 0:32:42.490 --> 0:32:45.610 out into the sunshine. That's what, you know, getting. So 0:32:45.610 --> 0:32:47.830 I think they talk about when you're on a screen 0:32:47.830 --> 0:32:52.210 all day to have breaks. Yes. For movement, but also 0:32:52.210 --> 0:32:54.250 for your eyes. Yeah. 0:32:54.250 --> 0:32:55.300 So giving your eyes. 0:32:55.300 --> 0:32:56.740 A yeah and. 0:32:57.010 --> 0:33:01.270 Focus break because it's that it's that like 30 centimeter. 0:33:01.450 --> 0:33:02.230 That's right. 0:33:02.230 --> 0:33:03.100 Focus. 0:33:03.160 --> 0:33:06.010 So it's sort of looking out into the distance. And 0:33:06.010 --> 0:33:08.260 if you can find something in the distance that is 0:33:08.260 --> 0:33:12.280 green or that is, you know, water or like an 0:33:12.280 --> 0:33:13.540 open piece of. 0:33:13.540 --> 0:33:15.070 Space or whatever it is, yeah. 0:33:15.250 --> 0:33:18.670 Even better. Yeah. So, you know, that could be part 0:33:18.670 --> 0:33:19.630 of it as well. 0:33:19.870 --> 0:33:23.860 Yeah, I think so. I think that's that is. 0:33:25.900 --> 0:33:34.170 What's something that you. Would like to improve with your self-care. Mhm. 0:33:44.700 --> 0:33:50.300 It's a good question. I've always wanted to meditate. Of 0:33:50.300 --> 0:33:53.450 really wanted to try. And I have given it a 0:33:53.450 --> 0:33:57.970 good go. But for whatever reason, I can't seem to 0:33:57.970 --> 0:34:03.790 develop that ritual. I'd like to do some more inwardly 0:34:03.790 --> 0:34:10.580 focused self-care. That That to me is something that I'd 0:34:10.580 --> 0:34:15.780 like to focus on. It can't be journaling, though. It's 0:34:15.780 --> 0:34:19.709 got to be just sitting and maybe it is meditating, 0:34:19.710 --> 0:34:24.400 sitting with my thoughts. Such an uncomfortable thing to do. 0:34:24.730 --> 0:34:25.390 Yeah. 0:34:26.550 --> 0:34:30.980 But I. I mean, I've seen people that have been 0:34:30.980 --> 0:34:34.490 meditating and they're like crying with, like, joy and happiness. 0:34:35.480 --> 0:34:39.359 I want that. Looks great. 0:34:40.030 --> 0:34:47.800 Mm. Okay. I think you should investigate. 0:34:48.969 --> 0:34:49.080 Well. 0:34:49.860 --> 0:34:52.840 I'm not well versed in meditation. Like I have found 0:34:52.840 --> 0:34:54.850 something that works for me. I dip in and out 0:34:54.850 --> 0:34:59.140 of it. There are so many different ways to meditate. 0:34:59.500 --> 0:35:02.560 So it's a matter, I think, for you of finding 0:35:02.560 --> 0:35:08.000 something that. It speaks to that thing that you want, 0:35:08.000 --> 0:35:10.400 that that feeling that you want of, you know, that 0:35:10.400 --> 0:35:13.880 joyful like I don't know what that would be. 0:35:14.840 --> 0:35:18.990 Because I've done the. Insight timer and yeah, you know, 0:35:18.989 --> 0:35:22.980 all those sorts of meditation. Maybe it's having to go 0:35:22.980 --> 0:35:25.950 to a group meditation, maybe. 0:35:25.950 --> 0:35:26.430 Yeah. 0:35:26.760 --> 0:35:29.700 For some reason I do like group environments. 0:35:30.030 --> 0:35:30.420 Yep. 0:35:30.870 --> 0:35:33.510 The only time I have ever cried during meditation was 0:35:33.510 --> 0:35:34.049 during a group. 0:35:34.290 --> 0:35:34.710 Really? 0:35:34.710 --> 0:35:38.030 Yeah. It was at the end of yoga. Yeah. Yeah, 0:35:38.070 --> 0:35:39.029 it was like a. 0:35:39.030 --> 0:35:39.930 Endorphin. 0:35:39.930 --> 0:35:47.779 Rush. No, it was like a physical release of emotional. Tension. 0:35:47.860 --> 0:35:50.120 Want that? That sounds great. 0:35:50.960 --> 0:35:56.450 It was. Of pudding. To be honest, it came out 0:35:56.450 --> 0:35:57.200 of nowhere. 0:35:57.850 --> 0:36:01.020 Yeah. Which that's exactly how it's supposed to work. Sure. 0:36:01.030 --> 0:36:04.120 Yeah. I'd never experienced it before. To me, it's always 0:36:04.120 --> 0:36:10.130 meditation has always been a much. Yeah, I was going 0:36:10.130 --> 0:36:13.130 to say gentler. Especially in the beginning. Like it's it's 0:36:13.130 --> 0:36:16.219 a it's frustrating. Meditation is frustrating. 0:36:18.020 --> 0:36:20.390 For me and the way I am at the moment. 0:36:20.390 --> 0:36:22.850 I'd love a clear head. My head just feels so 0:36:22.850 --> 0:36:23.900 full all the time. 0:36:23.900 --> 0:36:27.350 I think that's probably why I always suggest journaling to 0:36:27.350 --> 0:36:29.030 you because it is literally. 0:36:29.030 --> 0:36:29.440 I can't. 0:36:29.810 --> 0:36:32.150 Put. But you do because you do work like you 0:36:32.150 --> 0:36:33.880 do morning pages and you do brain dumping. 0:36:33.890 --> 0:36:36.230 I've done it. I have done morning pages and I 0:36:36.230 --> 0:36:38.540 do brain dumping works. I know it works. And I 0:36:38.540 --> 0:36:41.150 do that on an almost a daily occurrence. But I 0:36:41.150 --> 0:36:45.230 feel like that's different to a stream of conscience morning 0:36:45.230 --> 0:36:48.410 pages thing where you were writing literally anything. 0:36:49.340 --> 0:36:51.799 Oh, yeah, absolutely different, I feel. 0:36:53.219 --> 0:36:56.520 Really uncomfortable in my head when I do that. 0:36:57.870 --> 0:37:00.150 God, I'd love to, like, crack your brain open and 0:37:01.380 --> 0:37:02.790 walk around in it for a bit. 0:37:05.520 --> 0:37:06.540 Mixed metaphors. 0:37:06.930 --> 0:37:08.650 Wouldn't that be cool, though, to be? I don't know. 0:37:08.670 --> 0:37:10.710 Would it be cool to be able to do that? Like. 0:37:11.960 --> 0:37:15.530 Of often said with you and the way in your 0:37:15.530 --> 0:37:18.470 medical issue. I just like I would love to live 0:37:18.469 --> 0:37:21.830 just as you for one day just so I and 0:37:21.830 --> 0:37:24.890 I do empathize, but I want to feel it like 0:37:24.890 --> 0:37:28.819 I want to be able to. Really feel it. 0:37:28.820 --> 0:37:30.860 And yeah, I get it. 0:37:30.860 --> 0:37:33.190 I get it. Yeah. 0:37:35.370 --> 0:37:37.320 So I guess I need to throw that question back 0:37:37.320 --> 0:37:39.210 to you. What do you want to improve on? What 0:37:39.210 --> 0:37:41.070 would you like to be able to do when it 0:37:41.070 --> 0:37:42.239 comes to self-care? 0:37:44.330 --> 0:37:45.590 I mean, the thing that I would love to be 0:37:45.590 --> 0:37:49.430 able to get back to is a more regular approach 0:37:49.430 --> 0:37:53.600 to movement and exercise. You know, up until probably 12 0:37:53.600 --> 0:37:57.350 months ago, maybe, maybe not even beginning of this year. 0:37:57.890 --> 0:38:02.610 I was sort of. In a pretty good place with. 0:38:03.590 --> 0:38:07.150 Training and walking, and I would lift weights 2 or 0:38:07.150 --> 0:38:10.370 3 times a week and nothing crazy, but. 0:38:10.850 --> 0:38:12.440 You're just moving and you're but. 0:38:12.440 --> 0:38:14.750 Moving intentionally and challenging. Myself. 0:38:14.780 --> 0:38:15.620 You were. Yeah. 0:38:16.010 --> 0:38:18.740 And it was regular and it felt good and I 0:38:18.739 --> 0:38:21.170 felt cared for and I felt supported from within. And 0:38:21.170 --> 0:38:23.760 I had that feeling that you described of, you know, 0:38:23.810 --> 0:38:28.460 that positive feeling of health fullness. And then everything took 0:38:28.460 --> 0:38:31.640 a dive a few months ago and I've had to stop. Like, 0:38:31.640 --> 0:38:34.550 I will go to training with you, but I can't 0:38:34.550 --> 0:38:36.950 do anything. I mean, I couldn't even. 0:38:36.950 --> 0:38:39.830 Get stretch You do stretch, you're moving, you do. 0:38:39.830 --> 0:38:41.870 Move. And that's what I was going to say. So. 0:38:43.239 --> 0:38:47.350 I move every day in some capacity. I will come 0:38:47.350 --> 0:38:50.150 out into the back room during lunch break or, you know, 0:38:50.170 --> 0:38:52.989 when I'm taking a break from my computer and stretch. 0:38:52.989 --> 0:38:55.180 I still do stretches when I'm waiting for the coffee 0:38:55.180 --> 0:38:58.450 to brew. I do things to move my body and 0:38:58.450 --> 0:39:02.319 I wear an aura ring which will alert me if 0:39:02.320 --> 0:39:06.160 I've been sitting still for an hour or longer. So 0:39:06.160 --> 0:39:10.270 I always tap into that, you know, and. Make sure 0:39:10.270 --> 0:39:11.950 I get up, drink a lot of water so that 0:39:11.950 --> 0:39:14.169 I go to the bathroom. Like even things like that, 0:39:14.170 --> 0:39:15.009 it helps. 0:39:15.010 --> 0:39:16.300 Oh, yeah, absolutely. 0:39:16.719 --> 0:39:19.990 So I guess in an ideal world, I'd love to 0:39:19.989 --> 0:39:21.760 get back to training the way that I was, but 0:39:21.760 --> 0:39:26.370 I think. It's about building some more of those micro 0:39:26.370 --> 0:39:32.640 moments of movement into my day very intentionally. And I 0:39:32.640 --> 0:39:36.210 think that would would be of benefit to me physically, 0:39:36.210 --> 0:39:37.709 but also mentally. 0:39:39.410 --> 0:39:40.339 Yeah, I like. 0:39:40.340 --> 0:39:43.069 The macro micro breakdown of self-care. 0:39:43.430 --> 0:39:46.100 Yeah. And that's, that's really important because I think we 0:39:46.100 --> 0:39:50.270 lose the idea that the tiny little moments can be 0:39:50.270 --> 0:39:54.490 just as powerful, particularly if we apply them consistently. 0:39:54.500 --> 0:39:56.060 That's the thing that I need to work on. 0:39:56.060 --> 0:39:57.560 Micro self-care. 0:39:57.560 --> 0:40:00.800 Yeah. And even doing the things that you already do 0:40:01.370 --> 0:40:04.460 through the lens of self-care. 0:40:04.850 --> 0:40:07.370 Chopping wood. Yeah, self-care, drinking. 0:40:07.370 --> 0:40:07.969 Water. 0:40:08.060 --> 0:40:09.110 Self-care. 0:40:09.110 --> 0:40:10.940 Going to bed early. 0:40:10.940 --> 0:40:12.830 Oh, wonderful. It is. 0:40:12.830 --> 0:40:16.160 Wonderful. But, you know, if you can file that away 0:40:16.160 --> 0:40:18.919 in your head as another way, you're caring for yourself 0:40:18.920 --> 0:40:22.430 every day it feels different. It doesn't just feel like 0:40:22.430 --> 0:40:25.759 nice or like luxurious. Like you almost seem to think 0:40:25.760 --> 0:40:29.060 that it's a treat, you know? It's actually you caring 0:40:29.060 --> 0:40:33.609 for yourself. And that. That reframe, I think makes a 0:40:33.610 --> 0:40:37.450 huge difference. And it also takes away the bullshit of 0:40:37.450 --> 0:40:40.210 self care because there is so much of it, right? 0:40:40.239 --> 0:40:42.489 We spoke about a few months back, there was the 0:40:42.489 --> 0:40:45.730 wellness and social media episode. It's so easy to talk 0:40:45.730 --> 0:40:47.770 self care and end up down there. 0:40:47.770 --> 0:40:48.400 Oh yeah. 0:40:48.400 --> 0:40:49.030 Massively. 0:40:49.030 --> 0:40:51.489 It really is. And it just doesn't have to be 0:40:51.489 --> 0:40:55.779 to me. Self care should and is accessible to everybody. 0:40:55.780 --> 0:40:57.069 Self care is free. 0:40:57.520 --> 0:41:00.580 Absolutely. There are things that you can buy and do 0:41:00.580 --> 0:41:04.420 and pay for that might help you facilitate your own 0:41:04.420 --> 0:41:06.760 self care or learn about it. Fine. I have no 0:41:06.760 --> 0:41:09.580 problem with that. But it is and should be accessible 0:41:09.580 --> 0:41:15.270 to everybody. To everyone and everybody. So, you know, I 0:41:15.270 --> 0:41:20.090 think that that's. Why those micro moments can be so 0:41:20.090 --> 0:41:22.969 helpful and powerful, You know, and what I'd encourage people 0:41:22.969 --> 0:41:25.160 to do, I guess, is if you're listening to this 0:41:25.160 --> 0:41:28.130 and you've got a few ideas coming to you for 0:41:28.130 --> 0:41:31.280 what tiny moments of self-care could look like for you, 0:41:31.280 --> 0:41:34.310 those moments that make you feel supported and cared for. 0:41:34.610 --> 0:41:38.239 Write them down like take five minutes. Make a list 0:41:38.239 --> 0:41:41.330 as long as you can of any tiny thing that 0:41:41.719 --> 0:41:45.740 makes you feel good and refer to it on any 0:41:45.739 --> 0:41:48.620 given day. You know, if you give yourself three 32nd 0:41:48.620 --> 0:41:51.200 blocks of self-care time or something, what can you do 0:41:51.200 --> 0:41:54.259 from that list? And I think sometimes taking the brain 0:41:54.260 --> 0:41:57.410 work out of it means that on the days where 0:41:57.410 --> 0:42:00.260 we really need it, but we think we don't have time, 0:42:00.260 --> 0:42:02.030 we can just look at that list and go, okay, 0:42:02.030 --> 0:42:02.690 I'll do that. 0:42:02.690 --> 0:42:04.640 That's me. That's me today. 0:42:05.580 --> 0:42:05.969 Okay. 0:42:05.969 --> 0:42:07.560 Really good advice. 0:42:09.270 --> 0:42:10.140 Not advice. 0:42:11.010 --> 0:42:12.570 Encouragement lesson. 0:42:14.910 --> 0:42:16.980 So I guess one of the reasons that I wanted 0:42:16.980 --> 0:42:22.800 to do the self care topic today was a, because 0:42:22.800 --> 0:42:28.680 it felt very. Relevant to you at the moment. I 0:42:28.680 --> 0:42:31.229 know that you've been under the pump and I wanted 0:42:31.230 --> 0:42:36.170 to talk about it and be over on the tortoise. 0:42:36.180 --> 0:42:40.380 I hadn't realized I was doing this until last term, 0:42:40.380 --> 0:42:43.560 but because I write in sort of ten week blocks 0:42:43.560 --> 0:42:47.330 and take a couple of weeks off. Each of the 0:42:47.330 --> 0:42:52.370 terms of writing have had their own kind of loose theme. 0:42:52.370 --> 0:42:55.700 And the theme for this current block of ten weeks 0:42:55.700 --> 0:43:00.540 is self care. So that does fit in really nicely. 0:43:00.560 --> 0:43:04.010 And I think that subconsciously I selected that as a 0:43:04.370 --> 0:43:08.900 topic because I needed it to and to really, I guess, 0:43:08.900 --> 0:43:12.410 reframe what it can mean because it's really easy when 0:43:12.410 --> 0:43:16.609 you go through a change in your circumstances to lose 0:43:16.610 --> 0:43:19.550 sight of what self-care is to you. And I think 0:43:19.550 --> 0:43:23.150 I'm probably rebuilding a new version of it for myself, 0:43:23.510 --> 0:43:28.960 which definitely includes writing. Which is the other reason I 0:43:28.960 --> 0:43:32.290 wanted to bring this topic up. So as part of 0:43:32.290 --> 0:43:35.530 the Tortoise for paying subscribers, I run an online retreat 0:43:35.530 --> 0:43:39.250 every quarter. So first quarter of the year, I did 0:43:39.250 --> 0:43:43.630 a values retreat. Second quarter was rhythms. And in this 0:43:43.630 --> 0:43:48.250 quarter I'm actually doing a retreat called Writing as self-care. 0:43:48.880 --> 0:43:53.230 So if that's something that interests anyone listening, you can 0:43:53.230 --> 0:43:56.620 head over to the tortoise, which is at Brooke McAlary Substack. 0:43:56.830 --> 0:44:00.520 Com And you can sign up as a paying subscriber. 0:44:00.520 --> 0:44:05.440 It's $5 a month or $50 a year Australian And 0:44:05.440 --> 0:44:07.990 you can join us regardless. 0:44:08.000 --> 0:44:08.710 Join the community. 0:44:08.710 --> 0:44:11.149 Yeah, join the community. Absolutely. You will get, you know, 0:44:11.200 --> 0:44:15.969 most Sundays you'll get a post for paying subscribers. Every Thursday. 0:44:15.969 --> 0:44:19.239 Everyone gets a post and it's usually a letter or 0:44:19.239 --> 0:44:24.140 a podcast episode, something practical or something. Um, a little 0:44:24.140 --> 0:44:30.350 bit more. Head heavy. I'm running out of good words. 0:44:32.630 --> 0:44:33.350 Head, heavy. Head. 0:44:33.350 --> 0:44:37.489 Heavy. You know, all up in my head. Yeah. So, anyway, 0:44:37.489 --> 0:44:43.149 if the. Writing a self-care topic interests you. You should 0:44:43.150 --> 0:44:46.210 go and check it out. Say hello and see what 0:44:46.210 --> 0:44:47.300 the tortoise is all about. 0:44:47.320 --> 0:44:52.240 You're a good teacher. Now, you had a reflection for us. 0:44:52.239 --> 0:44:52.719 Yes. 0:44:52.960 --> 0:44:53.470 For today's. 0:44:53.469 --> 0:44:55.030 Episode. The reflection section. 0:44:55.050 --> 0:44:55.720 The reflection? 0:44:59.140 --> 0:45:01.029 Yeah, the reflection section. 0:45:01.600 --> 0:45:05.200 So a few weeks back, I wrote a post about 0:45:05.200 --> 0:45:12.630 toxic positivity, which seemed to really. Um, interest. A lot of. 0:45:12.630 --> 0:45:13.470 People did it grind. 0:45:13.469 --> 0:45:14.630 People's gears? 0:45:14.640 --> 0:45:17.700 I don't think so. I think toxic positivity grinds people's gears. 0:45:18.030 --> 0:45:20.820 So it was, it was interesting to see people kind 0:45:20.820 --> 0:45:24.540 of reflect very broadly on their own experiences and their 0:45:24.540 --> 0:45:27.870 own challenges of dealing with toxic positivity, either their own 0:45:28.200 --> 0:45:34.670 or other people's. Uh, but one comment in particular sort 0:45:34.670 --> 0:45:40.250 of grabbed my attention from Holly, and I'm just going 0:45:40.250 --> 0:45:42.770 to read it because I have been thinking about it 0:45:42.770 --> 0:45:48.230 a lot since she, um, since she submitted it. She said, 0:45:48.230 --> 0:45:51.439 I find when I'm trying to console or just go 0:45:51.440 --> 0:45:54.530 through my own negative emotions, I struggle with this balance 0:45:54.530 --> 0:45:58.339 of letting myself feel the negativity without wallowing in it 0:45:58.340 --> 0:46:01.850 and trying to be resilient against it, but without denying 0:46:01.850 --> 0:46:06.020 my rights to feel sad. You briefly mentioned that resilience 0:46:06.020 --> 0:46:08.840 and a positive attitude has a place, but I'd be 0:46:08.840 --> 0:46:12.469 interested in what you mean by this and how not 0:46:12.469 --> 0:46:15.350 to get it confused with suppressing emotions. 0:46:15.400 --> 0:46:17.660 Oh, it's so such an interesting. 0:46:17.660 --> 0:46:18.620 Comment, Such. 0:46:18.620 --> 0:46:19.330 A good question. 0:46:19.340 --> 0:46:22.130 Resilience is such a loaded word. 0:46:22.489 --> 0:46:23.380 Why do you say that? 0:46:23.390 --> 0:46:23.810 It just. 0:46:23.810 --> 0:46:28.549 Is. It just is because it is very individualistic in 0:46:28.550 --> 0:46:36.040 terms of. People's. Capacity to be resilient and it can 0:46:36.040 --> 0:46:43.990 so easily. Depending on the individual. Really harm people over 0:46:43.989 --> 0:46:45.220 a long period of time. 0:46:46.620 --> 0:46:47.130 Yeah. No. 0:46:47.489 --> 0:46:51.760 She just pushed through things no matter what. And you 0:46:51.760 --> 0:46:58.710 have this. Head heavy state where it's you are, no 0:46:58.710 --> 0:47:01.890 matter what the circumstances, you push through and you are 0:47:02.310 --> 0:47:08.379 blunting yourself emotionally. Mentally. 0:47:10.880 --> 0:47:13.399 And the flow on effects of that can be enormous. 0:47:13.400 --> 0:47:13.940 Huge. 0:47:15.320 --> 0:47:23.410 Yeah, it's a really. Tricky topic, I suppose, because. I 0:47:23.410 --> 0:47:26.920 think that resilience is important. I think having a certain 0:47:26.920 --> 0:47:33.120 amount of grit and. Inner strength is really important. But 0:47:33.120 --> 0:47:37.109 what I think resilience has started to come to mean in, 0:47:37.110 --> 0:47:40.980 you know, the mainstream. And this so often happens when 0:47:40.980 --> 0:47:47.040 an idea or a topic becomes popularized. It gets diluted 0:47:47.130 --> 0:47:54.030 or or. More kind of black and white. At same 0:47:54.030 --> 0:47:59.010 thing happen with like mindfulness or, you know, self like wellness, 0:47:59.010 --> 0:48:04.040 that kind of stuff. They've all been. Co-opted and. 0:48:04.040 --> 0:48:04.940 Commoditized. 0:48:04.940 --> 0:48:05.600 Yet? 0:48:05.719 --> 0:48:09.800 Exactly. And to the point where we don't necessarily completely 0:48:09.800 --> 0:48:11.600 know what the word means when we're using it. We 0:48:11.600 --> 0:48:13.250 think we do, but maybe it's not. 0:48:13.430 --> 0:48:16.390 And we use it often. They're just so often used. 0:48:16.400 --> 0:48:17.569 Yeah. So it's almost like it's. 0:48:17.570 --> 0:48:19.400 Lost its. 0:48:19.400 --> 0:48:25.100 Meaning, but. For me when I hear resilience. I think 0:48:25.100 --> 0:48:27.530 what what what a lot of us think it's trying 0:48:27.530 --> 0:48:30.530 to say is toughen up. Yeah. And tough it out 0:48:30.530 --> 0:48:33.080 and stick through it. That's it. Through. Yeah. Whereas the 0:48:33.080 --> 0:48:38.300 way I see resilience is actually softening into something, you know, 0:48:38.300 --> 0:48:42.589 the resilience comes from an inner place rather than an 0:48:42.590 --> 0:48:47.110 external shell that allows us to push through. And I 0:48:47.110 --> 0:48:50.989 don't know if that's. True or not. I like. 0:48:50.989 --> 0:48:52.450 That. I like the shell part. 0:48:52.460 --> 0:48:52.970 Yeah. 0:48:52.969 --> 0:48:58.310 So everyone needs that protection. Yes, but people have got 0:48:58.310 --> 0:49:03.089 to be more like a. Like a soft shelled crab. 0:49:04.969 --> 0:49:05.550 Rather than. 0:49:05.550 --> 0:49:09.420 A. Lobster. 0:49:09.870 --> 0:49:12.560 Oh, we stuck with the crustaceans. 0:49:12.570 --> 0:49:14.950 Yeah. Love lobster. 0:49:16.960 --> 0:49:21.930 Yeah. Okay. So I do I do think, though, that 0:49:21.930 --> 0:49:29.940 there's something in that. Crustacean analogy. You know, what can 0:49:29.940 --> 0:49:35.600 we do to. Develop an inner strength rather than an 0:49:35.600 --> 0:49:40.129 external shell. Yeah, or too much of an external shell. 0:49:40.160 --> 0:49:42.440 I think you're right. We need to. We need to 0:49:42.440 --> 0:49:46.610 be able to protect ourselves to a certain extent from. 0:49:48.270 --> 0:49:50.940 You know, the inevitable pushing through that happens in life 0:49:50.940 --> 0:49:56.000 because sometimes we just have to. But if that becomes 0:49:56.000 --> 0:50:00.500 our only mechanism for coping with difficult things as pushing through, 0:50:00.650 --> 0:50:04.189 then I don't think anything gets in and we can't reflect, 0:50:04.190 --> 0:50:08.630 we can't absorb, we can't really meet our selves in 0:50:08.660 --> 0:50:14.160 that space. So I think that a positive attitude is 0:50:14.160 --> 0:50:16.589 a different thing again, though. And I think that if 0:50:16.590 --> 0:50:20.070 you're able to pair a positive attitude, which is not 0:50:20.070 --> 0:50:23.130 sunshine and roses and everything's going to be fine, to me, 0:50:23.130 --> 0:50:25.859 a positive attitude is like, Oh yeah, this sucks, but 0:50:25.860 --> 0:50:27.690 I'm here with you or this sucks, but. 0:50:28.739 --> 0:50:29.310 It's more of. 0:50:29.310 --> 0:50:32.910 A just a healthy attitude, right? Because it's not necessarily. Yeah. 0:50:33.330 --> 0:50:34.630 Positive situation. 0:50:34.650 --> 0:50:41.439 No, that's it. And it's not the situation. It's. Oh, like. 0:50:43.030 --> 0:50:45.189 I was going to say hope or optimism. And sometimes 0:50:45.190 --> 0:50:48.069 they're not even relevant, right? Because some situations you don't 0:50:48.070 --> 0:50:51.340 have any. It's just a matter of meeting yourself where 0:50:51.340 --> 0:50:58.710 you are. Yeah. But I think. For me, resilience is 0:50:58.710 --> 0:51:05.780 mostly achieved personally through. Letting things be what they are, 0:51:05.989 --> 0:51:10.700 whether that is hard or soft or, you know, difficult 0:51:10.700 --> 0:51:15.250 or easy. And allowing that to be the case, particularly 0:51:15.250 --> 0:51:18.700 in the instance of difficult things going, okay, this is hard. 0:51:18.700 --> 0:51:23.080 This is really hard, This hurts. I'm in pain. I'm struggling, 0:51:23.080 --> 0:51:28.930 I'm grieving. I'm, you know, afraid, whatever. And just softening 0:51:28.930 --> 0:51:33.890 into that. Not trying to change it. And for me, 0:51:33.890 --> 0:51:41.430 that kind of helps in multiple ways. It almost reduces the. 0:51:43.540 --> 0:51:50.040 Amount of time I spend in that space. Because it 0:51:50.040 --> 0:51:52.110 reduces the pressure around it or something. I don't I 0:51:52.110 --> 0:51:53.760 don't know. I can kind of picture it, but I 0:51:53.760 --> 0:51:57.029 can't use the words trying to reflect about when my 0:51:57.030 --> 0:52:00.270 dad was in hospital and we just allowed things to. 0:52:00.270 --> 0:52:01.320 Suck to be. 0:52:01.530 --> 0:52:04.020 And they sucked. But they also didn't because we laughed 0:52:04.020 --> 0:52:07.080 a lot. And I think that if I had tried 0:52:07.080 --> 0:52:09.719 to tell myself that it didn't suck and everything was 0:52:09.719 --> 0:52:10.739 going to be fine, just. 0:52:10.739 --> 0:52:12.510 That positive, toxic positivity. 0:52:12.900 --> 0:52:14.550 Then we wouldn't have laughed because. 0:52:14.760 --> 0:52:16.770 You would just be living a non. 0:52:19.239 --> 0:52:21.070 Credible way. 0:52:21.070 --> 0:52:21.609 Of living. 0:52:21.700 --> 0:52:23.560 Just be in that shell. 0:52:23.590 --> 0:52:23.919 It's not. 0:52:23.920 --> 0:52:25.210 You. Yeah. 0:52:25.630 --> 0:52:27.230 Anyway, I think it's such a great question. 0:52:27.250 --> 0:52:30.340 It's a huge it's a huge question. It probably requires 0:52:30.640 --> 0:52:33.460 more than what we've given it. But it is such 0:52:33.460 --> 0:52:39.510 an interesting premise, and that's what happens when you brand something. 0:52:41.540 --> 0:52:46.450 And that branding. Just gets used so much that it 0:52:46.450 --> 0:52:50.589 loses its actual meaning and its actual purpose. 0:52:52.710 --> 0:52:53.110 Hmm. 0:52:55.460 --> 0:52:59.839 I want to go back to self-help really quickly. Care sorry, self-care. 0:53:00.560 --> 0:53:03.800 I want to go back to self-care really quickly. So 0:53:03.830 --> 0:53:06.259 just thought of something that I really want to try. 0:53:06.260 --> 0:53:09.410 And that's and I've done it before, but some sort 0:53:09.410 --> 0:53:14.750 of martial arts that combines mental and physical. 0:53:16.030 --> 0:53:16.780 Health. 0:53:19.040 --> 0:53:21.649 The limited amount that I've done it, I feel like 0:53:21.650 --> 0:53:26.310 it really benefited me. So that's another one to add 0:53:26.330 --> 0:53:27.100 to the list. 0:53:27.110 --> 0:53:27.590 Okay. 0:53:28.340 --> 0:53:30.980 A martial arts and meditation. 0:53:33.060 --> 0:53:35.160 Okay. What I will say before we finish up, they're 0:53:35.160 --> 0:53:39.120 both things that take time. No, no, I'm all for it. Like, 0:53:39.180 --> 0:53:43.609 take that time. Yeah. Is there anything I suppose we 0:53:43.610 --> 0:53:45.980 already spoke about, you know, ritual izing, things that you 0:53:45.980 --> 0:53:47.780 already do and reflecting on them as being. 0:53:47.960 --> 0:53:48.410 I need to. 0:53:48.410 --> 0:53:53.060 Reframe those as forms of self-care and be easier on myself. 0:53:53.090 --> 0:53:53.690 Yes, please. 0:53:53.690 --> 0:53:56.299 Yeah. Please think over overall. 0:53:57.250 --> 0:53:58.440 Uh, yeah. 0:53:59.320 --> 0:54:01.900 Yeah, I guess that's maybe the takeaway. If we can 0:54:01.900 --> 0:54:05.560 all reflect on the ways that we care for ourselves already. 0:54:06.469 --> 0:54:09.020 And we all do in loads of different ways, all day, 0:54:09.020 --> 0:54:12.580 every day and take a bit of pride in that. Yeah. 0:54:12.590 --> 0:54:16.010 And that might just be the thing that we need 0:54:16.010 --> 0:54:19.130 to do in order to reframe it, as you said. 0:54:19.460 --> 0:54:21.830 And when we start paying attention to things, we have 0:54:21.830 --> 0:54:24.919 to do them more. You know? Yeah, we do. Yeah. 0:54:25.140 --> 0:54:25.640 Yeah. 0:54:25.940 --> 0:54:28.580 So if you start paying attention to how you breathe, 0:54:28.580 --> 0:54:30.320 for example, and you're like, I'm just going to take 0:54:30.320 --> 0:54:34.069 a big, deep breath. And see how that feels and 0:54:34.070 --> 0:54:35.900 you pay attention to it throughout the day. You're going 0:54:35.900 --> 0:54:39.500 to do more of it. Yeah. So maybe that's that's 0:54:39.500 --> 0:54:41.750 the takeaway is, is first of all, just start by 0:54:41.750 --> 0:54:43.130 making a list of all the ways that we do 0:54:43.130 --> 0:54:44.240 care for ourselves. 0:54:44.750 --> 0:54:47.930 Because often it's a lot more than you even realize. Yeah. 0:54:48.500 --> 0:54:49.900 All right. Thanks for the chat. 0:54:49.910 --> 0:54:51.680 Thank you for the chat. You know, I've got to 0:54:51.680 --> 0:54:55.190 be honest, I was. It's been a day. And I was. 0:54:56.890 --> 0:54:58.600 Nervous about how we would. 0:54:58.600 --> 0:54:59.200 Yeah. 0:54:59.350 --> 0:55:01.930 Wondering if we could bring the bring the right energy 0:55:01.930 --> 0:55:02.489 to the. 0:55:02.500 --> 0:55:03.670 I think we have Mike. 0:55:03.670 --> 0:55:04.690 Yeah, I think so. 0:55:05.170 --> 0:55:08.710 Hope you have enjoyed it. Dear listener. Thank you once 0:55:08.710 --> 0:55:12.730 again for all those that have left comments and reviews 0:55:12.730 --> 0:55:18.279 on Apple, Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get this podcast from. 0:55:18.580 --> 0:55:22.450 Very much appreciated. And also over on the Tortoise, the 0:55:22.450 --> 0:55:27.220 the comments, it's essentially what drives us to keep going. 0:55:27.880 --> 0:55:29.080 Oh, 100%. 0:55:29.170 --> 0:55:29.500 Like. 0:55:29.500 --> 0:55:33.279 The feedback. I don't read it. But Brooke. Often says, Oh, 0:55:33.460 --> 0:55:37.029 listen to this, and that just fills my cup. And that's, 0:55:38.080 --> 0:55:40.390 I'd say 50% of why I do this. 0:55:41.560 --> 0:55:42.850 That external validation. 0:55:42.850 --> 0:55:43.930 Yeah, it's important. 0:55:43.930 --> 0:55:46.060 You know what? And it comes from community, right? 0:55:46.060 --> 0:55:46.690 That's it. 0:55:46.690 --> 0:55:47.830 That's it. It comes from. 0:55:47.830 --> 0:55:48.340 People being. 0:55:48.340 --> 0:55:49.210 Valued. 0:55:49.480 --> 0:55:53.259 Yeah. And also, you know, just being surrounded in an 0:55:53.260 --> 0:55:57.310 Internet sense by, by a group of people who get 0:55:57.310 --> 0:56:00.190 it and they're wanting to ask the same questions and 0:56:00.190 --> 0:56:03.879 have the same conversations. And, you know, we're all exploring. 0:56:04.670 --> 0:56:09.560 What living outside the status quo looks like. In any 0:56:09.560 --> 0:56:12.950 given moment, you know, in lots of different tiny ways. 0:56:13.040 --> 0:56:15.650 It's really is what I think this podcast is kind 0:56:15.650 --> 0:56:16.820 of becoming about. 0:56:16.870 --> 0:56:17.660 It's all about. 0:56:17.660 --> 0:56:21.800 Questioning things and looking at the possibilities of what Slo 0:56:21.800 --> 0:56:22.370 can be. 0:56:30.760 --> 0:56:33.670 And I hope that this podcast has been a form 0:56:33.670 --> 0:56:39.219 of self-care. Absolutely. In a very meta universe way. 0:56:41.860 --> 0:56:44.259 So head on over to the tortoise to read the 0:56:44.260 --> 0:56:50.610 show notes for today's episode. So that's Brooklyn calorie.substack.com. And 0:56:50.660 --> 0:56:54.960 if you're interested in joining us for the writing. A 0:56:54.960 --> 0:56:57.540 self-care retreat. You can do that over there as well. 0:56:58.440 --> 0:57:01.250 In the meantime, though. Take good care of yourself. 0:57:02.150 --> 0:57:02.989 And we'll see you soon.